Don't let sadness overwhelm you.

If you struggle to achieve authentic happiness, you're not alone. Everyone feels bad sometimes, but it's important to learn how to feel better and actually understand why you feel like you can't be happy.

The key to a true pursuit of happiness lies in practicing self-care and that means more than occasionally getting a mani-pedi. It's how you practice good mental health and protect your emotions.

RELATED: How To Totally Master The Art Of Being Happy In 6 Steps (Or Less!)

Today, lets talk about how to feel better, right away, without having to book a trip to Tahiti or win the lotto.

Whether youre going through a rough spot in your relationship, going through a breakup or you just want to shake off a case of the blues, you may be struggling to feel better.

Here are 3 simple tips to help you feel better fast so you can feel happy again:

Looking at the wall when youre racing a car will lead you to slam right into that wall. The first step in becoming happier and lighter is to notice your emotional starting point.

I speak from experience when I say that feeling fear, doubt, and lack will wreck everything you care about. If you start allowing fear into your relationships, you will ruin everything.

Thats why the first step after youre aware of a negative emotion is to allow the emotion and then talk yourself down. Whether something has happened to trigger it or not, talk yourself through the negativity.

Your life goes where your mind goes. Same with your relationship. If youre constantly afraid theyre going to leave you, youre going to act unattractively and youll drive them away.

If youre going around thinking about how unfulfilled youre feeling or how youre not getting your needs met, guess what youre going to get more of the condition of not having your needs met.

Just like when you buy a blue car and suddenly youre seeing them everywhere. We can get metaphysical and woo-woo about this or not, but its a truth whatever you focus on, youll get more of.

But youve got to start catching yourself before you can change it.

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If your default emotions are negative, youre going to get more negativity and lack. Instead, start looking forward and think about what you really want.

So often in life, you're just reacting, not thinking about how to have a peak experience of any kind, or considering what you actually might want.

You have a thought or feeling and just go with that rather than actually stopping to logically consider what you want and where you actually want to go. Something happens, we feel hurt and we try to move away from that hurt. Or we do something, it doesnt feel the way we expected, so we run.

This reactive position might get us temporarily away from pain, but its a sidebar path that doesnt have a goal attached. Instead of acting, were reacting.

Instead, move your focus to achieve that, rather than whatever fleeting feeling youre having at the moment. If youre feeling unfulfilled, dwelling on that is counterproductive. Want to feel fulfilled? Do fulfilling actions. Move toward fulfillment instead of away from a negative feeling.

That leads me to the next point. Since wide-sweeping change is usually not a one day process, youll have to stick with this.

Think about going to the gym. If you want to get fitter or stronger, you cant simply look at a picture of a fitness model and say, That, snap your fingers and have it appear, right?

Its the same with feeling better. Reward yourself for maintaining a positive mindset while youre having that mindset.

Back to the gym example, if you darken the door of the gym and show up, be excited about showing up.

Make the success about showing up. If you keep showing up, you add to the chain and build self-esteem around what youre trying to improve.

RELATED: 5 Small Things You Can Do To Make Your Job More Enjoyable & Be Happier At Work

Elizabeth Stone is a dating and personal development coach. Find out more by getting yourself a free copy of her book, Why Men Lose Interest and free daily (almost) email series.

This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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How To Be Happy Using Psychological Self-Care Activities That Will Help You Feel Better Fast | Elizabeth Stone - YourTango