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Archive for the ‘Self-Help’ Category

Whats on TV Sunday: Queer Eye and The Affair – The New York Times

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QUEER EYE: WERE IN JAPAN! Stream on Netflix. The reboot of this feel-good reality TV show deviated from the original by leaving its mostly New York setting to help people of all genders and sexual orientations across America. Now the Fab Five are taking their expertise in food, grooming, culture, fashion and interior design to Tokyo. With the American-Japanese model and actress Kiko Mizuhara and the Japanese comedian Naomi Watanabe as their guides, Bobby Berk, Karamo Brown, Tan France, Antoni Porowski and Jonathan Van Ness meet four new faces and work to transform their lives. Along the way, the self-help gurus explore the citys cultural offerings, making the mini-series part makeover show, part travelogue.

THE NIGHTINGALE (2019) Stream on Hulu; Rent on Google Play and YouTube. Jennifer Kent, the director of The Babadook, wrote and directed this feature about 1820s Tasmania, where British soldiers rule over convicts who were relocated there from England and Ireland, while also warring with the areas indigenous peoples. Within that ladder of cruelty that A.O. Scott described in his New York Times review, the film follows an Irish convict named Clare (Aisling Franciosi), who ventures out into the wilderness with an Aboriginal guide to seek revenge on the British officer who raped her. The film has been criticized for its portrayal of sexual assault and brutality, but Scott still named it a Critics Pick. This is a difficult movie because the questions it raises are not easy, he wrote, adding, You might say its too angry. Or too honest.

THE AFFAIR 9 p.m. on Showtime. When this show debuted in 2014, it focused on the deception and perspectives of Alison (Ruth Wilson), a married waitress, and Noah (Dominic West), a husband and father of four, who step out on their spouses to engage in an affair. The subsequent seasons have dealt with the fallout from that transgression, exploring how the dissolution of those marriages have affected their family members. By its fifth and final season, the show has expanded even further into two narrative timelines: one set in the present day, and the other decades in the future. The series finale brings together Noahs family for his daughters wedding, while Alisons adult daughter Joanie (Anna Paquin) grows closer to uncovering the truth about her mothers death.

90 DAY FIANC 8 p.m. on TLC. On a new season of this reality show that combines the perils of dating with culture shock, seven new couples allow cameras to capture their tumultuous K-1 visa process, which allows Americans to bring their fianc or fiance into the country for 90 days. In that time period, the couples will have to decide whether theyll walk down the aisle or whether their non-American partner will have to leave the country. In this seventh season, well be introduced to couples who are either meeting in person for the first time or are just getting to know each other. They include a 41-year-old banker and a 23-year-old Brazilian model; and a Nebraskan mother of three dating a man from Turkey despite the language barrier.

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Whats on TV Sunday: Queer Eye and The Affair - The New York Times

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:46 am

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For many in Los Angeles, Day of the Dead is a chance for activism – Los Angeles Times

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Joan Zeta Zamora came of age in her native Jalisco, Mexico, cleaning up and decorating tombstones with flowers on Day of the Dead.

So when she learned that the Florence Library in South Los Angeles was closing, she turned the commemoration of ancestors and loved ones who have died into a tool for protest.

The 36-year-old constructed an altar in Grand Park, which depicted a politician as Ernesto de la Cruz, the mariachi villain in the Pixar Animation Studios film Coco.

Dia de los Muertos in Los Angeles has always had a political element to it, Zamora said.

Following the release of Pixars Coco, in which an aspiring guitarist is cast to the underworld after defying his Mexican grandmother, the Day of the Dead aesthetic has become especially ubiquitous, used to peddle all sorts of products, from alcohol to lottery scratchers. The Mexican holiday is also used to promote an ever-growing list of events across Los Angeles County, including a bicycle ride in Wilmington and a 5K and health fair in San Fernando.

Lorena Lopez and Maria Bustamante Morales, 4, look at the Day of the Dead Altar for Carlos Zaragoza at Self Help Graphics & Art.

(Michael Owen Baker/For The Times)

Throughout October, vendors in downtown Los Angeles unload trucks chock-full of marigolds. The flowers, known as cempaschil, are no longer shipped from abroad but grown in Oxnard and San Diego. Merchants bundle them up in Korean-language newspapers, then hand them over to the thousands of Angelenos who observe Day of the Dead.

Come November, they will adorn altars throughout the county.

Despite the holidays commodification, for Xchitl Flores-Marcial, a historian at Cal State Northridge, it remains an intimate family affair, with preparations beginning months in advance.

Our entire life, she said, revolves around memory and holding on to the teachings of our ancestors. For her, using the tradition as a marketing tool is historical erasure.

I like to talk about it in terms of science, she continued, because we often forget that part when we talk about how people have appropriated only the things that look fun and festive and colorful.

For instance, she said, there are several different varieties of cempaschil, and because they contain a natural insecticide, they are planted among food crops in Mexico. This is why her family, Zapotecs from the state of Oaxaca, not only decorate their altars in L.A. with them, but also make it a point to include only the highest-quality corn, beans, chiles and squash in their tribute, or ofrenda.

Notes on paper cutout like fish at the Day of the Dead altar Cruzando (Crossing) at Self Help Graphics & Art.

(Michael Owen Baker/For The Times)

This, said Flores-Marcial, is ultimately what were celebrating when were honoring our ancestors. Were saying, This is what weve harvested from this knowledge. That part, this knowledge that indigenous people have, is totally overlooked when people start appropriating these symbols.

Her familys customs, she added, represent just one example of ancestor worship.

You can find it in the Andes, too. You can find it in Guatemala. You can find it in so many places in the Americas. Its not only Mexican, she said.

Betty Avila, executive director of Self Help Graphics & Art in Boyle Heights, learned about Day of the Dead as an adult. For her and her parents, who emigrated from the Mexican state of Zacatecas, Dia de los Muertos is very much an L.A. thing, she said.

I think its interesting for my parents to see their kids really seek out these opportunities to be further connected with home in Zacatecas and, more broadly speaking, our Mexican heritage, Avila said.

Moreover, because Avila learned about the tradition at Self Help Graphics & Art, her understanding of it has always been rooted in political activism. The arts center, she noted, began celebrating Day of the Dead shortly after the Chicano Moratorium, in which residents of East Los Angeles took to the streets to protest the Vietnam War and the disproportionate number of casualties of Mexican descent.

Kristen Johannesen, left, Olivia Ramos and her mother, Dora Magaa, work on papier-mache skulls at Self Help Graphics & Art.

(Michael Owen Baker/For The Times)

From the beginning, said Avila, local artists and residents have made use of traditional Day of the Dead iconography to bring forward other issues and ideas that affect the community. In the 70s, for instance, the East Los Angeles-based art collective Asco combined the tradition with performance art to address the ways that they saw community members dying all around them. In its archives, the arts center preserves a photograph of the event, in which members of the collective not only dressed as skeletons but also as a pill, a switchblade and a syringe.

Today, Day of the Dead at Self Help Graphics & Arts maintains its activist roots, as exemplified by the altars in this years gallery exhibition. Among them is one created by the centers youth committee, which commemorates children who have died while attempting to cross the U.S.-Mexico border or in the custody of immigration officials.

In addition to traditional elements such as candles and cempaschil, the youth committees altar includes candy and stuffed animals. These elements, said Karla Jacome, a student at Los Angeles Trade-Technical College and East L.A. College, represent the children who lost their lives. Because the items featured in the altar are also an ofrenda, they are meant to give the children some comfort.

I really hope that these children, who passed in such difficult ways, feel how loved they are, Jacome said.

The altar, which displays portraits of migrant children who died, also includes a gallon of water, where the words Suerte en su camino (Good luck on your journey) are written in permanent marker. This message, Jacome said, speaks both to the physical journey from the childrens home countries to the United States, as well as from life to death.

The jug, she added, is also a form of protest, pointing to the prosecution of individuals who provided water to migrants trying to survive in the desert.

The youth committees installation also invites community members to write messages to the dead children on paper fish, which are then deposited in a river made of blue cloth that runs along the altar. One of the messages reads, in Spanish: Beautiful little angels, you will not be forgotten. May you rest in peace.

Detail from the Day of the Dead Altar for Carlos Zaragoza at Self Help Graphics & Art.

(Michael Owen Baker/For The Times)

On any given Saturday in October, the mural-laden building in Boyle Heights can be found teeming with friends and multiple generations of family members, including pets. Some of the crafts are incorporated into the arts centers community altar, a majestic, multi-tiered piece by master altarista Ofelia Esparza. This year, it includes framed photographs of Toni Morrison, Rep. Elijah Cummings, and local rapper and community activist Nipsey Hussle, all of whom died this year.

Many of those who participate in the Self Help Graphic & Arts weekend workshops take their work home. Often, they say they plan to make altars of their own.

The point, she said, is to bring the community together, to get people talking about loved ones who have died. The ability to share out that loss publicly, she added, is also part of the healing.

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For many in Los Angeles, Day of the Dead is a chance for activism - Los Angeles Times

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:46 am

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Fitness Fridays: After Realizing She Was Really Bad At Practicing Self-Care, Taylor Morrison Created A Workout Class To Help Others Listen Within -…

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Source: Nastasia Mora / Courtesy of Taylor Elyse Morrison

For Taylor Elyse Morrison, fitness is about a lot more than the physical; your ability to perform certain tasks of daily living or movements involved in work and sports to a certain level. Instead, she believes that in order to truly be fit, you need to be intentionally caring for all aspects of yourself, including the emotional and the mental. Of course, most group fitness classes out there only focus on getting you in good shape in terms of the body, and might throw in a mediation moment here and there to help you tap into the internal as a cool down, but the 26-year-old Chicago native wanted a class to focus on whats happening within us. When she initially started to prioritize her own self-care, it helped her look at the benefits of physical activity differently.

Ive been putting a lot of focus on self-care and listening to what my body needs and not thinking about calories, she said. Im not thinking about how good Im going to look in a pair of jeans or something, but really knowing that when I work out, my stress levels go down and Im better able to deal with my anxiety and looking at it from that perspective.

Once she was able to do that, Morrison realized it was something that everyone needed, so she created Inner Workout. She describes it as a mat-based self-care practice for your whole being on Instagram, but specifically, its self-care focused on five parts to help you gain access to the layers that encompass you. You reach them through the physical, which is the yoga, dance and kinesthetics class participants do, as well as through the energetic of breathing, the mental of journaling, the wisdom of active meditation, and the bliss, which is using the last five minutes of class to do whatever brings you great joy.

The idea for my workout came into being because I saw a lot of group fitness classes, but nothing that was really focused on looking within and learning how to actually build that skill into self-care, she said. For me, that is listening within and responding in the most loving way possible. So Inner Workout is yes you move your body and you might sweat a little bit, but its really about building that muscle, so to speak.

We spoke to Morrison about the importance of tuning in, how the Inner Workout works, and the necessity of prioritizing something far greater than the physical for true fitness and happiness.

MadameNoire:What inspired you to create this workout and how did you start working within to make self-care a priority for yourself?

Taylor Elyse Morrison: I am really interested in self-care because Im honestly really bad at it. I have burned myself out a lot of times. Ive always been a person who will have a full-time job and then a side hustle and then maybe volunteering at a non-profit on top of being in a relationship and trying to hang out with friends. There was one summer where I had a pretty demanding full-time job, still had clients for my side hustle and then had also just recently gotten married. I was spending a Sunday night trying to do work and Im just sitting in front of my computer typing and switching between tabs but realizing that Im not doing anything. So I closed my laptop, took a bath, and that was like my first self-care practice: shutting down on Sunday nights, taking a bath and not looking at anything work-related until Monday morning. When that really started to feel good for me, I started to think, how can I incorporate that feeling outside of baths? So I started doing more with journaling and meditation and just trying to listen to myself. As I did that, and I would talk about it more, other people would ask me questions about self-care, and I realized that this is something were not really taught. Were not taught how to listen to ourselves, were just kind of taught, okay, eat healthy, exercise, accomplish all your goals and try not to burn yourself out in the process. But no one tells you how not to burn yourself out.

How did you get to a place of focusing on the internal and having a sense of gratitude? What was the work that needed to be done to prioritize that regularly?

With practice. I talk about self-care being proactive and reactive. So the proactive things are my Sunday night baths or taking a walk with my dog in the morning, things I know that set me up for a good day. Then there is the reactive self-care where I feel like super anxious and I could sit and I dont know, scroll down Instagram and try and numb myself, but I would teach myself to tune in and say, okay, youre feeling really anxious. What are the things you could try right now? You could try taking some deep breaths. You could try calling a friend. You could try dancing to Lizzo in your living room, whatever it is. But its about training myself to have that moment before going into kind of the crutches and numbing myself out. Im actually seeing what productive things I can do. Its all an experiment. It changes. What works for me when Im anxious today might not be what works for me when Im anxious tomorrow.

What does your class consist of? I read that its a blend of movement, breath work, meditation and journaling.

Its a 60-minute class and really the teacher is the facilitator. Its not like a yoga class where you need to be in a specific pose and hold it for a certain number of breaths. This teacher, the facilitator, gives you a set of movements, and then you flow within it. Youre training yourself to listen to whats going on. You might find one part of the flow where you just need to hang out there because your hips are tight. You dont even need to worry about the rest of it. So the first 20 minutes or so are movement, and then you move into a time of breath work, which is really a time to access your breath but also start to notice your energy. Then you move into journaling. Theres always two journaling prompts. Its called journaling, most people write, some people dont connect to writing, some people doodle. You have a good chunk of time to do that and then we move into a meditation. After journaling, youve brought up a lot of stuff, and so the meditation is a good time to kind of observe your thoughts and synthesize. And then the final portion is five minutes of flow. So hopefully, by this point of spending 55 minutes listening to yourself, youre starting to understand what you need. So the last five minutes, some people will do more stretching, some people will journal more, some people will just lie there and breathe. Its really your time to say, okay, what do I need in this moment? What can I give myself?

Source: Nastasia Mora / Courtesy of Taylor Elyse Morrison

Youre based in Chicago and the classes take place in the city. I see that you have a way though for people to get involved remotely, online. Since they cant be physically in the class, what is it that theyre getting?

So theres two aspects of online. Theres the free online community and thats open to anyone, whether or not they want to do Inner Workout. Thats just a place for conversation, for encouragement, for accountability. Its really cool at this point because its something that were co-creating together. So the people who are the members now are getting to see what they want to make it into. Then the other piece is, in January, well be launching video classes. You can buy the pre-recorded classes and incorporate an Inner Workout class into your day or your week, however it fits for you. Theres a package thats available for pre-order where they can get an Inner Workout journal that can go under the tree or whatever you do for holidays, and then whoever youre gifting it to can then enjoy the videos when they launch in January.

How important is it for people to prioritize self-care in this way, the way you offer with Inner Workout? It seems especially important at a time when people are becoming more comfortable talking about mental health and fitness in general has become more appealing.

In general, I think mental health is extremely important. I think its good that were starting to have this conversation, especially in communities of color where traditionally, its something thats a little more taboo. I think where Inner Workout is really helpful is that it provides a time and a structured framework for this. Theres so many people, my friends and myself included, where we know the things that are good for us. We know we should meditate, or journal, or stretch, but its something that at the end of the day gets put down on the to-do list. Whats great about Inner Workout is its something that you can put on your calendar and come to whether youre in Chicago, or schedule a time to watch a video. Youve got everything you need to have a really rich self-care practice. But Im also a big proponent of saying you dont have to buy anything to practice self-care. You just make a commitment to listen to yourself and respond with love. Its going to be hard and youre going to have to keep working at it. Even right now, as Im saying that Im thinking, I dont think Ive had any water today and were halfway through the day. I havent been doing a great job of listening to myself, but Im committed to doing the work, and thats all any of us can do.

And how important is this message of fitness not just being about the physical?

I love that you mentioned that. Thats why I love that were rooted in the kosha model because its the five layers of yourself, or the five aspects of yourself. In self-care and fitness and wellness, were still focused on the wellness, what goes into our physical bodies, how were moving our physical body, and not thinking that we are whole, multi-dimensional human beings who have so many layers and things that are going on. So yes, I think its great that we have pushed the conversation and were starting to talk about health and mental health and wellness and fitness, but yes, to really in my opinion be someone whos a fit person, you have to be accessing all of who you are, which goes beyond just the things that you can do in the gym.

Be sure to follow Taylors Inner Workout page on Instagram and check out the rest of our inspiring Fitness Fridays profiles here!

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Fitness Fridays: After Realizing She Was Really Bad At Practicing Self-Care, Taylor Morrison Created A Workout Class To Help Others Listen Within -...

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:46 am

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Opinion | The race of college – Daily Northwestern

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Zaria Howell, Op-Ed ContributorNovember 3, 2019

For me, college is a lot like a very slow race, but a race nonetheless. I always feel like Im rushing to get to the end of something the end of a negative emotion, the end of a cloud-filled day, the end of a draining lecture where the professor talks for entirely too long.

However, this race is unlike your typical one, as its an everyday, four-year-long battle. Some days you chalk it up to the highs and lows of college something you and your friends complain about over poor, borderline-inedible dining hall food. Other days, these things feel like blows to your soul, and you ask yourself: Am I enjoying my experience here? Why dont I feel as alive as Id like?

My dad frequently FaceTimes me out of the blue, asking me with a little too much urgency in his voice: How are you? I can tell from the concerned tone that hes not asking me about my latest friend drama or the grossest thing I came across in my dorm bathroom recently. Hes asking me about my literal mental health. He and I are both fully aware that just last year, a student on my campus died by suicide. Hes aware of the pressures of the monotony of college. So when he asks, I listen. And I reflect, almost like Im as concerned as he is.

On days where I dont feel my best, I pull out my repertoire of self-help aids: morning meditation sessions, evening journaling sessions, deep breathing exercises in nature, long phone calls with my mom. If I feel even an urge of sadness, or notice an absence of emotion at all, I pull out all the stops. Theres nothing scarier for a college student than the possible prospect of depression because theres the threat of not being to prevent it and not knowing how to deal with it once it arrives.

Even as I write this piece right now, Im borrowing a tool from that repertoire I just mentioned, writing. I feel oxygen and the universe and Gods presence, all at once, starting to fill those gaping holes in my soul. I reject bad vibes and possible negative energy more than frat parties. Its honestly an art form.

If I had to give a piece of advice to my fellow college students, itd be the advice my therapist gave me: Find what nurtures your soul and do a lot of it. Does cycling give you joy? Cycle until your thighs feel like stone. Does studying in particular places on campus make you feel more alive? Make those spaces your second home. Does being alone in your dorm room bring you comfort? Decorate it well, and allow it to be your oasis. Does being a part of a particular club make you feel like youre surrounded by family? Devote all your time to that and nothing else.

In college, it may seem like getting your degree is the most important aspect of your experience here. After all, we were all told at some point in our lives that we are at institutions like these to learn. But why does learning have to be strictly academic? Some of my most fruitful growth has taken place outside the classroom, outside of the impostor syndrome its confines impose, and its probably mold-ridden walls.

Whos to say that college, as it stands, might not be one of those things that you decide doesnt nurture your soul? And if it isnt, then how do you fix that? Id say: Find the version of college that makes you happy, and if that means changing your major three years in or finding a whole new group of friends, even though you already have some, then so be it.

This is your life. How would you like to live it?

Zaria Howell is a Medill sophomore. She can be contacted at If you would like to respond publicly to this op-ed, send a Letter to the Editor to The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of all staff members of The Daily Northwestern.

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Opinion | The race of college - Daily Northwestern

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:46 am

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Brendon Todd goes from nearly quitting golf to Bermuda Championship winner –

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Todd, 34, won the Byron Nelson in 2014, had four top 10s in 2015 but struggled mightily the next few seasons. He battled swing yips and mental hurdles, both of which he pinpoints to the 2015 BMW Championship and a disastrous four-iron that led to a 7 (and plenty of scar tissue). In 2006 he missed 25 of 29 cuts and barely earned $75,000. In 2017 it was eight missed cuts in nine starts, and in 2018 he was six for six in missed cuts on the PGA Tour.

It didnt really matter who I worked with because I hadnt taken enough time off, I think, to like calm my mind and just get away from it and say, OK, what did I do when I did play good? Todd said. For some reason I just couldnt figure out what it was.

After the 2018 season he hooked up with teacher Bradley Hughes, took time off, worked on drills in his basement and even read a self-help book to cure the yips. In 11 starts last season he mixed in four top 25s and made $252,546, and that helped him get into the Korn Ferry Tour Finals, where he earned his card back. He missed the cut in his first four starts of this season before a tie for 28th at the Houston Open. His next start was in Bermuda. He started Sunday two back but made that up in no time.

We came to a golf course that none of us have ever seen and I was able to go out there and figure it out and execute the shots and play spectacular golf, he said. Always be the first Bermuda champion, so Im excited.

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Brendon Todd goes from nearly quitting golf to Bermuda Championship winner -

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:46 am

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Mid-Hudson Calendar of Events: Nov. 4 and 5, 2019 | Life and Entertainment – The Daily Freeman

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Monday, Nov. 4

Kripalu Yoga:9 to 10 a.m. (gentle/moderate). MaMA, Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge.

Settled and Serving in Place (Kingston Chapter):Meets 9:30 a.m. at the Olympic Diner, Washington Ave., Kingston. Settled and Serving in Place is a social self-help group for seniors who want to remain in their homes and community. (845) 303-9689.

Mother Goose Storytime for Babies:9:30 a.m. Hyde Park Free Library, 2 Main St., Hyde Park. (845) 229-7791.

Toddler Romp & Stomp:10 a.m. every Monday. The folks at Little Pickles have been generous enough to lend the library their playroom for this music and movement program. Little Pickles is located at 7505 North Broadway, Red Hook. Event is free and open to the public. For more information, call the Red Hook Public Library at (845) 758-3241. The library is located at 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook.

Community Resource Navigator: 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. Meet with a representative from Community Partnership for Dutchess County to discuss your needs. They can help you find financial assistance, apply for benefits or obtain on-going support. Mondays, Nov. 4, 18, 25. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241,

What a Way to Start Your Day:10 a.m. Arlington Reformed Church, Raymond and Haight avenues, Poughkeepsie.

Happy Apple Thrift Shop:10 a.m., 24 E. OReilly St., Kingston. To 3 p.m. (845) 338-0833.

Mahjongg:10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Will teach if necessary. All welcome. Temple Emmanuel, Albany Ave., Kingston. Call Estelle Nadler, (845) 657-8476 for more information.

Yoga:10:15 to 11:45 a.m. Mountainview Studio, 20 Mountainview Ave., Woodstock. Mixed level class. Yang Yin Yoga. Classes are $15 with the first class free. (845) 679-0901.

Toddler Romp & Stomp:10:30 a.m. and Toddler FUNdamentals at 11 a.m. Red Hook Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. Free and open to the public.

Study Hours:2 to 5 p.m. Looking for a place to study? The librarys community room is reserved for quiet study alone or in small groups every Monday afternoon. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241,

Math Help:3 to 5 p.m. Phyllis Rosato welcomes all ages welcome. From kindergarten to calculus. Phoenicia Library, 48 Main St., Phoenicia. (845) 688-7811.

Stump Me!:3:30 to 4:30 p.m. Get help with elementary school homework. Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave. (845) 246-4317,

Movement Monday:4 to 5 p.m. This program is designed to help children find release from the normal stress and anxiety resulting from their daily lives. Pre-registration is encouraged. Call the Rosendale Youth Program at (845) 658-8982 or email for more information or to sign up. Walk-ins are welcome. A weekly commitment is not required.

Fitness Hour:4 to 5 p.m. Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave. (845) 246-4317,

Healthy Back Exercise Program:4 to 5:15 p.m. Exercises to strengthen back and abdominal muscles and increase flexibility and range of movement. 28 West Fitness Gym, Route 28 and Maverick Road, Glenford. Fee: $12 per class ($10 for gym members). Anne Olin, (845) 679-6250.

Conversation and Book Signing:4 p.m. "FDR and the Struggle for Justice in the Second World War" with Dan Plesch and Graham B. Cox, moderated by David B. Woolner. The Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum, Henry A. Wallace Center at the FDR Library and Home, 4079 Albany Post Road, Hyde Park. Admission is free, but registration is required. Register at to register. (845) 486-7745.

Cards:6 to 8 p.m. Play Pinochle. Ellenville Library, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 657-5530.

Community Yoga:6:30 to 7:30 p.m. New LGBTQ + Allies. This is weekly beginners class taught by Michele Muller. $5 suggested donation. Hudson Valley LGBTQ, 300 Wall St.,Kingston.

Mens Choir:7 to 9:15 p.m. Men of all ages, who would enjoy singing in a mens choir, are welcomed to join the Catskill Glee Club. Community Life Church, 20 W. Main St., Catskill. For questions, contact or call Bob at (845) 389-1503.

Gentle Yoga:7 p.m. Olive Free Library, 4033 Route 28A, West Shokan. (845) 657-2482. Fee $6 drop-in.

Pickleball:9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Kingston YMCA. For experienced players. Free to Y members. $10 non-member day pass.Starting at 16 years old for all play.Call (845) 338-3810 or for more information.

Aquoga class:9:30 to 10:15 a.m. at Kingston YMCA. Free to YMCA members; $10 non-member day pass available. (845) 338-3810 or

Settled and Serving in Place (SSIP 209):9:30 a.m. meets on Tuesday mornings, 9:30 a.m. at Lydias Country Deli, Route 209, south of Stone Ridge. SSIPs are local self-help, social groups which help seniors to stay in their own homes and remain active in their communities. For more information, call ViVi at (845) 331-0155.

Settled and Serving in Place meeting:9:30 a.m.Saugerties seniors meet at The Village Diner on Main Street. Settled and Serving in Place (SSIP) is a social self-help group for seniors who want to remain in their homes and community. (845) 246-3285.

Bridge Games:10 a.m. Church of the Messiah hall, Chestnut St. Rhinebeck. $10. For more information, call Pat at (845) 331-1743.

Computer Learning Center:10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Teaching computer-related and digital photography classes, Kingston Center of SUNY Ulster, 94 Marys Ave., Kingston. (845) 339-0046.

Preschool Story Hour:10 a.m. Olive Free Library, 4033 Route 28A, West Shokan. (845) 657-2482.

Toddler Time:10 to 11 a.m. Stone Ridge Library, Main Street, Stone Ridge. (845) 687-2044.

Happy Apple Thrift Shop:10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 24 E. OReilly St., Kingston. (845) 338-0833.

Mall Walking with OFA:10 a.m. Join a staff member from Ulster County Office for the Aging each week for a walk and talk. Every Tuesday at 10 a.m. sharp. Meet in the Food Court at 9:45 a.m. with a place for your coats. Hudson Valley Mall, 1300 Ulster Ave., town of Ulster.

Community Playspace:10 to 10:45 a.m. Gardiner Library, 133 Farmers Turnpike, Gardiner. Led by childrens librarian Amy Laber, a singer-songwriter, early childhood music.

Terrific two/three storytime:10 a.m. Gardiner Library, 133 Farmers Turnpike, Gardiner. (845) 255-1255.

Yoga:10:15 to 11:15 a.m. Energy Medicine Yoga will be taught by Maryanne. Mountain View Studio, 20 Mountainview Ave., Woodstock (845) 679-0901. Classes are $10 cash or

Tots n Tales Story Time, For 2- and 3-Year-Olds:10:30 a.m. Hyde Park Free Library, 2 Main St., Hyde Park.

Preschool Storytime:10:30 a.m. For 3-to-5-years-old, Ellenville Public Library, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 647-5530.

Story Craft and Play:10:30 to 11:30 a.m. together Tuesdays with Janice for children birth through preschool. Come to join the gang of local parents. Phoenicia Library, 48 Main St., Phoenicia. (845) 688-7811.

Tiny Tots Theater:10:30 to 11:15 a.m. Tiny Tots Theatres exciting dress-up box is back. Superhero dinosaurs save stranded elephants, pirates cook up wonderful feasts, and so much more. This is a free program for pre-school-aged children as young as 2 and as old as 5. No registration required. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241, Also offered Nov. 12, 19 and 26.

Toddlertime story hour and crafts:10:30 a.m. For children ages 18 months to 3 years, Kingston Library, 55 Franklin St., Kingston.

Tuesday Tales:11 a.m. For preschoolers ages 3-to-6-years-old, Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave., Saugerties. (845) 246-4317.

Classes:11 a.m. to 12 p.m. 8 Immortals internal Chinese straight sword (Jian) adapted to Tai Chi principles, Hawksbrother. (You may take both classes, or either Sword or Tai Chi Chuan). Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge. (845) 687-6090

Free Caregiver Support Group:11:30 a.m. Community Center, 3 Veterans Drive, New Paltz. Join Miss Penny for a fun-filled storytime for the very young. Appropriate for ages 1-3.

Classes:Noon to 1 p.m. Second-generation Yang Tai Chi Chuan, with related Tai Chi Chuan chi gung, Hawksbrother. (You may take both classes, of either Sword or Tai Chi Chuan). Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge. (845) 687-6090.

Thrift Store:12 to 4 p.m. Margaretville Hospital Auxilary Thrift Shop, 850 Main St., Margaretville.

Story Time:1 p.m. Preschool story time. Early literacy activities and stories for children ages 3-5. Ellenville Public Library & Museum, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 647-5530.

Story Hours Grades 2 and 3:3:30 to 4:30 p.m. Stone Ridge Library, 3700 Main St., Stone Ridge. (845) 687-7023.

Pokemon Club:3:30 to 4:30 p.m. Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave., Saugerties. (845) 246-4317.

Tweenage Book Club:3:30 to 4:30 p.m. In this complete no-stress book club, participants talk about the books they've been reading and work on recommendations for their peers. Its all about book recommendations from kids for kids. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241, meets Nov. 19.

Spinning Yarns Knitters:4 to 6 p.m. Bring your knitting, crochet, embroidery or other hand-work to this friendly stitching group every Tuesday. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241, Also meets, Nov. 12, 19, 26.

Scrabble:4 p.m. Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave., Saugerties. (845) 246-4317.

Aroma Yoga Flow:4 to 5:15 p.m. (moderate) with young living essential oils. MaMA, Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge.

Terrific Tuesdays:4:15 p.m. For grades K-6, Ellenville Public Library and Museum, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 647-5530.

Boxing Conditioning:4:15 to 5 p.m., children ages 7-12; 5 to 5:45 p.m., teens; 6 to 7 p.m., adults. Mountainview Studio, 20 Mountainview Ave., Woodstock.

Prostate Cancer 101:4:30 to 6 p.m. Education and support group meeting in the Dutch Room of the Hurley Reformed Church, Main Street, Hurley. First Tuesday of every month. Learn your options, become educated and feel hopeful after talking to long-term survivors. Questions? (845) 331-7241 or (845) 419-5128.

Annual Spaghetti & Meatball Dinner:4:30 p.m. take outs, dine in 5 to 7:30 p.m. Adults, $9; children, 5-12, $5; under 5, free. Cairo Firehouse, Railroad Avenue, Cairo. (518) 634-7144.

LGBTQ Community Acupuncture Clinic:5 to 7 p.m., 300 Wall Street, Kingston. RSVPs highly suggested, though walk-ins will be welcomed when space is available; book your appointment at or call (845) 331-5300. The LGBTQ Community Acupuncture Clinic takes place in a relaxed and low-lit group setting using points on the ears, hands and feet. Intake takes approximately 10 minutes and resting time (after the needles are inserted) will vary, based on your preference, but is typically 20-45 minutes. $5 suggested donation, no one turned away for lack of funds.

Meditative Movement:5:30 to 6:30 p.m. Meditative movement (a blend of Yin/Gentle/Restorative). MaMA, Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge.

The ProActive Caring Project:6 to 8 p.m. Join us for this course for parents and others caring for individuals with intellectual, developmental and/or other disabilities or illnesses. Set up as three in-person sessions and three sets of online resources on intervening weeks. Registration is required for this free program open to adults. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241 Also takes place Nov. 19.

Scrabble:6 to 8 p.m. Serious (and fun!). Wordplay at Ellenville Public Library, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 647-5530.

Craft Night:6:30 p.m. Highland Public Library, 30 Church St., Highland. Sara creates a new project with tweens and teens ages 8-13. (845) 691-2275 or

Scrabble and Other Games:6:30 p.m. Pine Hill Community Center, 287 Main St., Pine Hill.

Open Mic:7 p.m. with Cameron & Ryder. Sign-up at 6 p.m. Club Helsinki, 405 Columbia St., Hudson. (518) 828-4800,

Weekly Meditation:7:30 to 8:30 p.m. Free weekly community meditation at Education Annex Of Wellness Embodied: A Center for Psychotherapy and Healing, 126 Main St., New Paltz. For optional beginner instruction, please arrive at 7:20 p.m. Donations accepted.

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Mid-Hudson Calendar of Events: Nov. 4 and 5, 2019 | Life and Entertainment - The Daily Freeman

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:46 am

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An Interview with "Everything is F*cked" Author Mark Manson – Morning Brew

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Mental health, technology, politics...they're all changing how we view our lives, goals, and the world. So what can we do about it?

Bestselling author Mark Manson is back and sharing this worldview in his new book, Everything is F*cked. Think of it as self help for people who don't like self help. Manson recently spoke with the Brew about his new book and how to move from quantity to quality in your own life.

Brew: Tell us why everything is f*cked.

Mark: Well, everything's f*cked because everything's always been f*cked. My argument is that humans are the problem: Our psychology looks for conflict and problems. The world is fine.

Is this a book that you would've written two years ago, or is this tied to what we're experiencing today?

It's definitely more emergent with the time. There were two things going on. One, there was a lot of data showing a mental health crisis happening across the whole population, but especially with younger people. The other was people seemed to be in hysterics over everything.

What I found interesting when I was touring the world promoting The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck in 2017 and 2018 was that this is happening all across the worldit's not just the U.S. Everybody who lives in the U.S. recognizes that public discourse has gone to sh*t and everybody hates each other. But that same dynamic is happening everywhere. It got me curious about what it is about 21st century technology, 21st century life that promotes this breakdown of public discourse.

As you started looking into what's wrong, was there anything in your research that changed your mind or surprised you?

I really went into it expecting social media to be the big culprit. And I came to the conclusion that it's notit's something more fundamental.

Things like depression and anxiety don't correlate as much to social media as it seems. It's not just screen time or smartphone usage. I came to the conclusion that it's not necessarily the technology itself, it's the way the technology warps how we perceive the world and perceive our relationship to the world.

You're writing self help for people who don't want self help. How do you, as a writer, connect with people who think they don't need to (or want to) hear and learn from your message?

I think what turns most people off from self help is the idealistic self help. I blogged for a long time about psychology and relationships. We spent a lot of time with psychological research. One of the first things you realize is that humans suck. We're pretty selfish and we're bad at thinking clearly and we're very self-serving and irrational. So my goal is to write a form of self-help that's not based on, 'hey, you can accomplish anything,' but rather, 'hey, let's try not to be so awful.' And I think that just strikes people as more realistic and honest.

What can readers pull from your book and start implementing in their lives today?

There are two big takeaways. One is to gain a better understanding of how our hopes and perceptions of the world can easily be skewed and corrupted. I also ended up making a strong argument for being more conscious of our commitments and choosing self limitationslimiting what we expose ourselves to, what we engage in, who we engage with.

For most of history, it was always about getting more, achieving more, knowing more. In the 21st century when we have access to everything, the way to grow and improve is by narrowing our focus. Finding the handful of really good sources of information, relationships, and pursuits.

So what are some limitations you've set for yourself?

I definitely consume way less media these days. I am less active on social media. I travel less and make a point to spend time with a small group of family and friends. The orienting principle in my life over the last few years has been quality over quantity. Everything in our culture is pushing us toward quantity, but quantity is a very poor replacement for the meaning and satisfaction that come from good, quality relationships.

You once went on a five year travel expedition. Did the quantity/quality dilemma hit you during that experience?

I started to notice towards the end that the more places I went, the more places I wanted to go. I would go to Hong Kong and have an okay time, but then see all these pictures online of Hong Kong and think I did it wrong. I have to go back. I realized that travel became one of those things for me where it was becoming compulsive and about quantity of experience.

That in a nutshell is what's happening to us across many parts of life. There's this compulsive drive to accumulate more experience. Go on more dates, make more money, do more stuff. And that constant pursuit of more just leads to more desire. You don't ever reach a point where it's enough. You have to pick a moment and say this has to be it. I'm giving up the chase.

What separates people from not just saying they want to be better and successful, but actually doing it?

I think what ultimately leads to success is an obsessive focus on improvement in the moment. One of the arguments I make in the book is that hope can actually become destructive in certain contexts. If we hope for something too much, we psychologically separate ourselves from it and put it on a pedestal and think it's going to change our lives. And in many ways that creates more anxiety, resistance, and frustration.

Just focus. Whatever's in front of you, just do it better than you did it before. Don't spin up all these visions of, if I just started this company and had this house and knew these people, everything would be great. Because those visions are more limiting than they are enabling.

Do we use too little profanity in our daily life?

Not necessarily, but I think we take it too seriously. They're just words.

Grab your copy of Everything is F*cked. If you're still trying to figure out why the name Mark Manson sounds might be remembering his previous hit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Still want more? Give Mark a follow on Twitter to keep up with him every day or check out his 20 best articles that he's conveniently rounded up, covering everything from dating and relationships to life choices and culture.

What writers or thinkers have served as inspiration to you? David Foster Wallace, I'm a big fan of his nonfiction. Joan Didion. Hunter S. Thompson. I'm on a big Hannah Arendt kick right now. I'm a big Steven Pinker fan. Jonathan Haidt writes great stuff.

What have you been reading? This summer I went out and bought classic books by really famous women authors. So I read some Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston and Hannah Arendt.

What have you been watching? I just watched the new season of Stranger Things. I'm rewatching a classic anime called Neon Genesis Evangelion. This is super nerdyit's like 20 years old and Netflix just put it up and I'm rewatching it for the first time since college.

Favorite travel destination in the last year? Last year I went to the World Cup in Russia and it was amazing. I love Russia. It's so raw and people are so abrasive, which I strangely like. And then on top you have all this amazing history and culture, and the food's really interesting.

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An Interview with "Everything is F*cked" Author Mark Manson - Morning Brew

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:46 am

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Family Court announces new office that will combine restraining order, family court self-help services – The Nevada Independent

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Starting in January, people who represent themselves in court and want to file for a Temporary Protective Order (TPO), otherwise known as a restraining order, will be able to do so in the same Las Vegas location that processes custody, divorce and other related civil proceedings.

Under the old system, self-representing litigants had to file TPOs at Family Court and would then be directed to a different location for custody and divorce assistance. Family Court and Legal Aid Center representatives said the new center, slated to open in January 2020, will be a one stop shop for TPO filings as well as custody, divorce and other self-help services for litigants who cannot afford an attorney.

Because we cant provide 500 lawyers for everyone in need, what we do to fill in the gap is innovative projects like this, said Barbara Buckley, executive director of Legal Aid Center of Southern Nevada, who described the plans at a press conference at Clark County Family Court on Tuesday.

The Family Court will house the new center, which will be run by Legal Aid Center with initial funding from the Eighth Judicial District Court and the Clark County Commission. Representatives from Family Court and the Legal Aid Center said that the new office will streamline essential self-help services and offer an expedited process for approving TPO applications in a more user-friendly way.

Before the process was updated, litigants often would have to wait between one and two days for their TPO applications to be processed, leaving them vulnerable to further harm. With the new live system, which the Family Court began implementing in January, more litigants will be able receive an approval on the same day they applied for the TPO.

According to Sonya Toma, a staff attorney at the Family Law Self Help Center, the Legal Aid Center took over operations of the Family Courts TPO office in March, at which point the office expanded staff to include herself, a second licensed attorney and 10 non-attorney staff. While the new center is being constructed at the Family Court building, the TPO office continues to operate at full capacity in an atrium of the Family Court building.

The Family Court reports processing approximately 6,000 TPOs per year.

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Family Court announces new office that will combine restraining order, family court self-help services - The Nevada Independent

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:45 am

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Make a list. Check it twice. Experts share tips to avoid holiday debt – The Daily Republic

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Whether thats within or outside your means, experts shared ways to step into the season of giving and sidestep a post-holiday financial hangover.

Write a list of whom youre looking to connect with and your gift recipients. List your bills and compare that to your available money. Be realistic, and from that, youll see what you can afford or what alternative plans can be made.

Having it written down makes it easier to check in with your expectations, said Niki Pechinski, financial wellness educator at the University of Minnesota Duluth. If we dont know our expectations or what we want to participate in, it can be harder to negotiate what we say yes to and what seasonal spending might look like, she said.

Include any charitable giving to your holiday spending plan. Keep in mind travel and miscellaneous costs, such as work potlucks. I wouldnt exclude time, either, whether thats volunteer time or party-planning time or travel time. Thats a really valuable resource, she said.

Its helpful to look at what you spent last year. And while the consensus was to keep holiday spending in mind year-round, its not too late to save.

You never have too little money to save, said Kassy Burr, coaching and counseling supervisor at Community Action Duluth. Even if you can save $5 a month, thats a good start, and its building good habits that could come in handy in the long run.

Once you have your list, check it twice. And over and over again.

Keep it in your phone or in your wallet as a reminder. Having those goals articulated in a dollar amount of what youre willing to spend can motivate you to stick to it, Pechinski said.

Also, know yourself and your shopping partners. If you find you spend more when youre with certain person, consider going solo, or bring along someone who might help hold you accountable.

Shopping and the giving spirit can lead to a financial hangover, and debt still has to be settled.

Paying for something unnecessary with money you dont have, while adding interest, is making money for someone else, and potentially damaging your credit in the process, said Hugo Hietapelto, financial planning program director at UMD.

Theres nothing wrong with using the credit card to purchase something, as long as youre not carrying that balance, he said.

There are certain rewards with using a credit card, such as earning cash back, but our experts suggested being mindful going into it.

Paying with a card vs. cash can mean a higher level of disconnection from your money. That can lead to spending beyond your means, Pechinski said. Another thing to consider is your available credit.

The best credit scores and the healthiest accounts have a revolving credit that does not exceed 20-35% of their limit. So, if you have a $1,000 limit, you probably shouldnt spend more than $200-$300 during any bill period. And youll want to pay that off in full and on time, Pechinski said.

Credit card dollars are there if you need them, but depending on your goals, it might be net harm, said Pechinski. Use that as motivation to say, "Im not willing to damage my credit history for this.

Hietapelto suggested making a game of holiday spending.

If youve allotted $30 for someone, jot down ideas in that price range that meet that persons preferences. Bargain-shop, compare prices and use coupon codes if youre buying online.

And, having the budget or savings in place means you dont need to use credit, he added.

Be open with friends and family about finances. You dont have to spend money to show someone you care. Share gift costs with a relative or family member, or set up a gift exchange. Some giving traditions can be countered with a different suggestion, like the gift of time.

Hietapelto suggested homemade gifts, such as a frame with family photos or a printed photo on canvas. Its about the memories were making. Spending money on trinkets doesnt make the most powerful impact.

Year-round, Hietapelto notes what his loved ones want when they mention it, and he pays attention to seasonal deals and discounts.

Track seasonal spending and check in with yourself in 2020 to look at how it went and how you want it to look ahead. Then, consider a system with envelopes, or a savings account at a bank or credit union.

Pay yourself first. Put money into savings as if it were a bill, Burr said.

Culturally, Americans arent comfortable talking finance. Its seen as taboo, and its not always the case that families are collectively having transparent conversations about money, Pechinski said.

People have a lot of shame around their money. They associate how much money they have or even material things with their worth. That gets in the way of when people are trying to move forward with goals, added Burr.

It can feel paralyzing to look at something as sensitive as finances, but applying curiosity to the topic will help you make an informed decision. Treat this like a fact-finding mission, Pechinski said.

Financial goal setting can be incredible self-care, whether thats looking at a repayment plan or how to approach the holidays in a way thats honest for you, added Pechinski.

That might change conversations with loved ones about what the holidays look like. If youre trying to save or you dont have much to spend, be explicit about that.

It can be an opportunity to talk about the magical qualities of this season through connection rather than through gift-giving, she said.

1. Make a list and set your budget

Write down whom you're giving gifts to, include a dollar amount that suits your budget for each, and stick to it. Include travel costs, dining, potlucks and time. Prioritize the list.

2. Use your imagination

Share gift costs with a relative or family member. Host a potluck. Set up a gift exchange. Consider making something by hand, and don't underestimate the gift of quality time. Whatever you choose, be open with friends and family about your spending goals so you can manage plans and expectations.

3. Shop wisely

Keep your spending plan handy. Bargain-hunt, compare prices and consider your shopping pals. If you're prone to spend more while with a particular person, go solo, or shop with someone who might help hold you accountable to your goals.

4. Payment

Paying with cash can make a better connection between you and your money. But if plastic is more your jam, go debit or be savvy about credit card rewards. Pay off your balance right away and on time to avoid damaging your credit score.

5. Track

Note your spending this year and use it as a resource for saving for next year's holiday season. Consider some sort of system in an envelope or a savings account through a bank or credit union. Set a business meeting with yourself for the upcoming year to set goals. It could make for a hollier, jollier outcome next year.

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Make a list. Check it twice. Experts share tips to avoid holiday debt - The Daily Republic

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November 4th, 2019 at 2:45 am

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Counselor Helps Others Find Their True Voice in Debut Self-Help Book – PR Web

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I was inspired to write this book because I believe that the simple practice of speaking your truth sits right at the heart of a happy, balanced and fulfilled life.

LONDON (PRWEB) October 28, 2019

Counselor and life coach Harinder Ghatora has published her empowering and essential self-help guide to transforming passive and demoralized behavior and thoughts into a fresh outlook backed by self-assurance and courage.

In The Power of Speaking Your Truth, Ghatora impresses upon readers the need for them to speak up and helps them to find their authentic voice. The book is guided by five highly realistic, hypothetical scenarios and presents readers with a series of questions to shepherd their self-reflection and instigate the process of reshaping their perspective.

I was inspired to write this book because I believe that the simple practice of speaking your truth sits right at the heart of a happy, balanced and fulfilled life, Ghatora said. As human beings, we are permanently in a relationship with ourselves and with those around us. If we want to make meaningful connections with people, have closeness in our relationships, live a satisfying life and have a strong, healthy, respectful sense of self, then we must learn to identify and communicate what we truly feel, need and expect from others.

Ultimately, Ghatoras book offers a down-to-earth, holistic approach that considers the way ones mental and emotional health can foster instances of insecurity and fear in social environments. The Power of Speaking Your Truth helps readers to identify, challenge and transmute limiting beliefs and replace them with a positive awareness that is more conducive to healthy assertive behavior.

The Power of Speaking Your Truth: How to Become Confident and AssertiveBy Harinder Ghatora ISBN: 978-1-9822-2467-7 (hardcover); 978-1-9822-2465-3 (softcover); 978-1-9822-2466-0 (e-book) Available through Balboa Press, Barnes & Noble and Amazon

About the authorHarinder Ghatora is a holistic life coach and counselor. Ghatora resides and has a private practice in West London and offers a range of services that are designed to help people live a healthy and balanced life. She works with all aspects of a persons being mind, body, emotions, spirit and supports her clients in overcoming personal obstacles and fostering self-empowerment. Ghatora is a graduate of the London School of Economics. She previously forged a successful managerial career in local government, specializing in research and statistics, for 18 years before retraining as a counselor, Neuro-Linguistic Programming coach and healer. Ghatoras time is now fully devoted to supporting others through one-on-one work, group work, workshops and e-products. This is her first book. To learn more, please visit

General Inquiries, Review Copies & Interview Requests: LAVIDGE

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