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One original song every week – The Recorder

Posted: February 21, 2020 at 12:41 pm


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Many of us make New Years resolutions, but weve usually given up on them by the time Groundhog Day arrives. Thats not been the case with the urban reggae group SayReal. The band vowed that in 2020 it would release a new song every Friday on Soundcloud and on its Facebook page. The group also vowed to make sure the song on Facebook would also have an accompanying video. Thats right: 52 original songs in one year.

Its an ambitious project that is taking a lot of work, but it has paid off, as the band has found a new way to engage with its audience, all the while keeping the focus on the music and the messages within it.

Listeners will get a chance to hear some of these new songs played live when SayReal and Rebelle perform at the Perch at Hawks and Reed Performing Arts Center on 289 Main St. tomorrow night, Feb. 21, at 7:30 p.m.

SayReal is based in Los Angelesbut has roots are here in the Pioneer Valley, where the group has been visiting for the past couple of months. The group is led by Naia Kete, who was born in Northampton and lived in various parts of Western Massachusetts including Shutesbury and Leverett when she was growing up. She is the groups lead vocalist, lyricist and bassist. She is joined in SayReal by her younger brother,Imani Elijah on keyboards and drums, and her longtime boyfriend, Lee John on drums and guitar.

The daughter of musicians, Kete has been making music with her family including Imani for as long as she can remember. She got her musical start singing with her familys reggae band the Black Rebels, which becameRebelle and is led by her mother,Kalpana Devi and step-father, Emmanuel Manou.Kete later launched a solo career and started performing at various local venues. Her backing band included Imani and about 12 years ago, she met Lee John, who joined her band. Like Keteand her brother, Johns parents are musicians. His father is guitarist Earl Slick, best known for his work with David Bowie, and his mom is Jean Millington, who co-founded the band Fanny with her sister Institute for the Musical Arts co-founder June Millington.

Not long after John started working with Kete, the three musicians moved to California and started busking on the streets. Ketes powerful, expressive voice landed her on the second season of The Voice, where she made it to the top 24 on Team Blake. The group continued to make music under her name, but after musician/ producer Randy Jackson confronted her after a gig and pointed out that the music was bigger than her, she got to thinking about forming a proper band.

I asked Lee and Imani how about would you feel about being a band? said Kete in a recent phone conversation. Because the music never was about me. The music that I love to perform is sparking personal musical and cultural evolution, and we are all on board with that.

Kete said the band works because they are a family, and theirs is an egoless collaboration where they give each other the freedom to express themselves however they want.

SayReal released its full-length debut Unarmed and Ready in September. The group released four singles from the project, prior to its official release, and noticed that with each songs release came a spark in activity everything from increased plays on Spotify to more activity on Facebook. So we thought the more we release the more we have the opportunity to gain more fans and grow our community, said Kete about one of the ideas that sparked the 52 releases project.

The fact that this project would allow them to dig deeper into the content and message of the music also made it appealing. Kete said, however, that what really appealed to her most about the idea was that it was a way that SayReal could help combat all the hatred and division that is so prevalent these days, especially on social media.

The thing that I love about music is that it inspires this feeling of awe and wonderment, she said. I really wholeheartedly feel that the right song has the opportunity to open a persons heart and change a persons mind in an instant. It really is a universal language, so for me, 52 songs is 52 opportunities to do just that: to open peoples hearts, and for all of us to be able to find common ground and speak a common language.

So far, the songs they have released is a diverse bunch that range from the love song Take it Slow, released last week in honor of Valentines Day, to Photograph, a tune that explores the current obsession with snapping pictures to post on social media. While all of RealSays music is rooted in reggae, rock, pop and soul sounds can be heard in their work, all the while the message remains positive and life-affirming.

In the accompanying videos, the band shares a behind-the-scenes look at their songwriting process and the meaning behind some of the songs.

Some of the songs were written before the start of the year and others they are writing now specifically for this series.

Ive been working harder than I ever have before, but its a welcomed challenge and the kind of work I believe in, said Kete, adding that at only two months in, shes not sure where the project will ultimately go. Who knows? It could be a new business model for us. It is all an experiment.

SayReal is also in the midst of running a GoFundMe campaign to help finance a new tour van. And,Kete has other side projects: she works as a life coach supporting women in weight loss, fitness, relationship goals and more. Shes also launched an online project through which she is encouraging women to play bass and posts a video online every Monday of her playing the bass lines of the new songs.

It started when I was vocal coaching at IMA (the Institute for the Musical Arts in Goshen) last summer, Kete said. I was so inspired by female musicians, and would like to see more of them, particularly in reggae music, so it became my mission to encourage more women to play bass.

But SayReals greatest passion remains playing live and inspiring fans with messages of empowerment and positivity.

Its about being honest and transparent about all the emotions and feelings and experiences that life has to offer whether that is on a personal level, in a relationship or something happening in politics or in our culture, Kete said. It is just being real and honest about sharing your perspective and sharing your heart so that is what I try and do in my music.

Tickets to Fridays show are $12 in advance, available at hawksandreed.com. Doors open at 7 p.m. For music, visit sayrealmusic/freemusic.com

Sheryl Hunter is a music writer who lives in Easthampton. Her work has appeared in various regional and national magazines. You can contact her at soundslocal@yahoo.com.

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One original song every week - The Recorder

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

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A Coach’s Life: Klutz wins 300th game, but the number of lives he’s changed matters most to Wonders leader – Independent Tribune

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KANNAPOLIS 298, 299, 300.

Those are all just numbers to Shelwyn Klutz. And none of them have any more significance than the other to the longtime A.L. Brown boys basketball coach.

People have been talking with him about those numbers recently, wishing to recognize him for a career-victories milestone that lingered as a bit of a mystery last week. The number of coaching wins wasnt important to Klutz when he took the job in 1997, and it sure isnt now.

When the Wonders defeated Jay M. Robinson 70-68 on Tuesday, Klutz and others in the A.L. Brown athletic department received information that it was victory No. 298. However, by the weekend, updated information from a couple of media outlets (new math, if you will) confirmed it was actually Klutz 300th career victory.

Regardless of how all the past, current and future victories shake out, numbers should never define Klutz or his career. Words should. And when he finally hangs up his whistle a time that is still undetermined among the few that will come to mind are winner, mentor and gentleman.

The one thing I always try and do is influence the kids in a positive way, said Klutz. Of course, I want to win, but I try not to ever make it about me as a coach. Ive had my time in basketball. Its taken me a lot of places. Ive met a lot of outstanding people.

Shelwyn Klutz (right) and assistant coach Davon Brown collaborate on a strategy.

It paid for my (college) education. It helped me get the (teaching) job that Ive had for 30 years, something I dont really want to call it a job because I enjoy it. But I always wanted to try to help other people get to where they want. And I hope Ive done a good job of that.

So although no formal recognition of the milestone has taken place, the A.L. Brown boys basketball team can begin the South Piedmont 3A Conference tournament tonight and next weeks state playoffs without any distractions.

Hes like my pops when I come into the gym, said senior point guard Amari Grier. Hes helped me with my shot, and hes made me smarter on and off the court. He works hard. He knows what hes doing.

A.L. Browns next game will be in the conference tournament semifinals against neighborhood rival Northwest Cabarrus tonight at Concord High at 7:30.

Klutz has always had a vested interest in Kannapolis and A.L. Brown. He is a native son, having played basketball and football at the school in the early 80s. His family resided in Kannapolis south Little Texas Road neighborhood, and his mother, Constance, still lives in town.

Klutz and his brother, Quintin, older by one grade, helped the Wonders reach the basketball state championship game in 1983 as players.

After graduating from Mars Hill, where he was a four-year basketball letter winner, Klutz taught a couple years at Concord Middle School. In 1991, A.L. Brown football coach and athletics director Bruce Hardin hired Klutz to be an assistant football coach and the head girls basketball coach, a position he kept for five years before sliding over to the boys team for the 1997-98 season.

The Wonders football team won the state championship in 1997, which posed an inner conflict for the schools new boys basketball coach.

I had half of my basketball players playing football, said Klutz. We would try to push basketball games back, but you can only do that so much. So we would have to play (varsity games) with junior varsity players. It was something that went on for a long time.

Klutzs first few years as basketball coach were lean. It wasnt until his fifth season that the Wonders had a winning record, beginning a stretch of 12 years in which A.L. Brown had 11 winning seasons.

The Wonders won the North Piedmont 3A in 2005, Klutzs only conference championship as coach. But A.L. Brown has been a bridesmaid to several other league champions, including each of the last two seasons.

Klutz has coached several Division I college athletes including Avery Patterson (a 2004 A.L. Brown graduate who played at St. Johns), Teven Jones (2011, Virginia), and Aundrae Allison (2002). Allison played football at East Carolina and for a short time in the NFL.

It would be hard to accuse Klutz of ever playing favorites with his players. In the ultimate act of fairness, Klutz agonizingly cut his own son, Jalen, from the junior varsity team during his freshman year, simply feeling he wasnt as physically or mentally mature as the other candidates.

Since 1997, Shelwyn Klutz has been the head basketball coach at his alma mater, A.L. Brown.

Jalen went on to have a solid varsity career. His older brother, Shelwyn Jr., never played basketball for his father. He was a member of the A.L. Brown swim team instead.

In Klutzs time as boys coach, the Wonders have competed in some of the toughest conferences and in one of the best basketball counties in the state. A.L. Brown has been a member of a conference in which one of its teams won a state title five times. Two additional times, one of the Wonders Cabarrus County rivals won state championships.

By all accounts, the 23 years Klutz has spent leading the Wonders is a record for longevity at one school among county boys basketball coaches. And only one other coach, Scott Brewer who spent time at Mount Pleasant, Central Cabarrus and Concord has more career victories (448) than Klutz.

It seems like there was always something on the line (coaching against Klutz), said Brewer, who left coaching in 2013. For most years, it was for one, two, or three in the conference. He was consistent with having solid teams.

Shelwyn Klutz (left) brainstorms with his staff, which includes Davon Brown (center) and brother Quintin Klutz (far right), to help the Wonders win.

Whats also impressive is the loyalty of some of Klutzs assistant coaches hes employed over the years. James Allen was his bench mate for 18 seasons. Current coaches Davon Brown and Klutzs brother Quintin have been with him for six-seven years.

For the last few years, Klutz has considered giving up coaching. The 31 years hes spent teaching would allow him to retire from the classroom with full benefits. But even Quintin doesnt know what the future holds for his brother.

For the last 10 years, hes been saying, This is it for me, said Quintin, who is also the Wonders JV coach. But hes still here. I think it will be a day-to-day decision.

Shelwyn Klutz credits the support of his wife, Carletta, for his long career and says he simply just wants to go out on his own terms. And when he reflects on having spent such a long career at his alma mater, he thinks about one thing.

Ive been lucky, he said. Ive been blessed.

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A Coach's Life: Klutz wins 300th game, but the number of lives he's changed matters most to Wonders leader - Independent Tribune

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

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FM’s Abbey Moore named CCC coach of the year – Early Bird Newspaper

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PITSBURG Veteran Franklin Monroe Lady Jets basketball coach Abbey Moore has been named Cross County Conference Coach of the Year by her coaching piers.Moore was quick to give credit for the award to her coaching staff and players.

My coaching staff does a phenomenal job in helping me, Coach Moore said of JV Coach Whitney Rhodus and varsity assistant coach Brandy Buck. Without their support and being there at practice every day we wouldnt be where we are at.

I took that award and hung it up in our locker room. I made it a team of the year award instead of a coach of the year award just because I one hundred percent believe that every girl on my team has worked so hard and they need to be recognized for what they have done this year.

It really is a team of the year award and I appreciate everything they have done for this program, Moore added. We wouldnt be where we are at if it wasnt for everybody buying into that.

Coach Moore spoke of what she believes to be a contributor to the teams success both on the court, off the court and the future.

The one thing that impresses me the most out of this group is their strong Faith and they love God, said Moore. God is in their life and I really feel like they are the kind of kids that they are because of that and because of their family support. We talk about that all the time.

We have life lessons that we talk about in our locker room and God is a big part of that, Moore continued. I feel like God put basketball in my life for a reason and these girls were here for a reason too. Weve had a lot of tears and a lot of great moments. Happy tears, sad tears but it always seems like we go back to God and no matter what they do as long as they keep God with them, theyre going to be successful and that is special.

When asked about her seniors, Coach Moore was pleased to talk about each one but not before mentioning all the 2019-2020 team members.

Its just the kind of kids that they are and not just the seniors, but all of them, Moore said of the teams special family attitude. When this time of the year comes around I always kind of dread it just a little bit because you know it can either do good things for your team or it can turn the other way. In my five years of coaching here it has always been a good thing and that just goes to show what kind of kids we have here.

They are not jealous, they support each other, they love each other and thats our program right now we are a family, continued Moore. Were in it together and that has always been our motto; In it Together and they really are. That goes to show a lot of the leadership on the team and the role models that we have. I couldnt be any more proud of them than what I am. They are just a great group, a special group and its going to be a special end of the year.

Chloe Brumbaugh has played three out of her four years here and made a decision to not play last year and came back this year, Moore said of the first of five seniors. That shows a lot of character out of her and Im extremely proud of her, how hard she has worked and to be able to have a kid like her to come off the bench and play defense the way she does is phenomenal. A great student athlete.

Chloe Peters (All-Conference Second Team) is our workhorse, Moore said of her second senior. The progress that shes made from her freshman year to now is phenomenal. That just goes to show her work ethic. She excels on and off the court and I couldnt be any more proud of her than what I am. Shes a great role model.

Belle Cable (All-Conference First Team), the progress that she has made from day one to now and a couple years ago when Audrey got hurt, her role changed and she has excelled in that role in being our point guard, Moore noted. She took that leadership on the team and cant wait to see what she is able to accomplish in the future.

Audrey Cable (CCC Special Mention) has been through so much on and off the floor, said Moore. For that girl to be where she is now, shes had to grow up a lot. To see how she can handle adversity is phenomenal and no matter what she chooses to do outside of here, shes going to be successful.

Corina Conley (CCC Player of the Year), I kind of get a loss for words when it comes to her, Coach Moore said of the fifth senior. She is a special kid, her personality is contagious, shes a leader, she sets the tone and she is going to be missed as being a role model. What she can do on the floor is pretty amazing and I cant wait to see what she is going to do at the next level its going to be good things.

Moore, the wife of Chase Moore and the mother of eight year old Lilly, a FM second grader, six year old Navie, a kindergartener and two year old Toby, thanked her family.

I would like to thank my husband and his support, stated Moore. Having three little ones and spending so much time in the gym, it wouldnt be possible without him. He does a great job and I am very thankful for what he does.

Theres not a better place to raise my kids, Coach Moore said of the Franklin Monroe Hanger. Both of my girls come to practice every day with us and have these older girls to look up to as role models. Its special. I want them to take it all in because those are things not every kid gets to experience and to be able to have these kinds of girls as their role models is pretty special.

PHOTO CAPTION: Cross County Conference Coach of the Year, Franklin Monroe Lady Jets Abbey Moore. (Gaylen Blosser)

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

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Take a look into the life of former Colts linebacker David Thornton in Colts Productions’ latest episode of its series "Colts Forever" -…

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Thornton is a trusted confidant of head coach Frank Reich and general manager Chris Ballard: As a former player Thornton was a fourth-round pick by the Colts in the 2002 NFL Draft, and would end up playing eight NFL seasons, including four in Indy the current Colts players know when they talk to Thornton, he can more times than not relate to what they're going through. Reich and Ballard, then, rely on Thornton's relationships with the players to get a read on any number of critical day-to-day team endeavors.

"As the head coach, he's one of the key people that I rely on, literally, day in and day out," Reich said.

"DT brings so much to the table. One, he was the former player; he understands the pulse of the locker room, he's connected to the guys. No. 2: he just has a mind and a heart to wanna serve those players, to help them out in any way that he can. No. 3: he's always helping me understanding that, helping me to connect to players. We're all in this together."

While succeeding on the field is always going to be a major focus, Ballard said Thornton's ability to help keep players on track off the field and in their own personal lives is just as important.

"David's ability to draw upon himself as a player what he did as a player, the mistakes he made and successes he had, both on the field and off the field and then connect with our players and give them guidance is invaluable," Ballard said.

Thornton embodies the Colts' "family" atmosphere: Having previously played for the Colts from 2002 through 2005, Thornton already knew all about the "Horseshoe" and what it was all about. But deciding to come back to Indy after his playing career in a player engagement role? It was a "no-brainer," Thornton said.

"To be back here and to be able to serve and help others help, of course, the guys in the locker room, but just help throughout the organization it's a great honor," he said.

"First what comes to mind when I think of the Horseshoe is family. Family," Thornton continued. "The Horseshoe, we're really close. The support, the love that we have for each other when you think of family, family has your back you know, people you trust, people you can rely on and depend on and that's kind of what this organization's kind of built on, that family culture, that family environment."

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Take a look into the life of former Colts linebacker David Thornton in Colts Productions' latest episode of its series "Colts Forever" -...

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

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Cowboys assistant head coach Rob Davis has important role with team, but it’s not what many might think – CBS Sports

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Who on Earth is Rob Davis? That's a question many supporters of the Dallas Cowboys are asking, and his sudden hiring to Mike McCarthy's new staff this offseason raised some eyebrows. After all, he has no coaching experience -- at any level of football -- but is now the assistant head coach of literally the most valuable team in all of sports. While it's fair to wonder where McCarthy is going with this, those who know and have worked with Davis have nothing but high praise for him.

Randall Cobb is one such person, and the veteran wide receiver immediately rubber-stamped McCarthy's decision to bring Davis on-staff.

"That man is a legend," he said.

That's a strong endorsement from the usually-reserved Cobb, and it hints at the combination of Davis plus McCarthy being enough to keep the Pro Bowler in Dallas for 2020. That would certainly please Davis, who knows Cobb well from their time together as members of the Green Bay Packers organization.

Davis and the Packers parted ways in 2018, but he first spent an entire decade as the club's director of player personnel, hired into the role in 2008 by McCarthy, who was so impressed with Davis' football acumen he awarded him the job only one year after Davis retired from the NFL -- having spent his previous decade as long snapper for the very same Packers. After a stint in the private sector, Davis is back in football and tasked with helping McCarthy make the Cowboys contenders again.

And while he's labeled as assistant head coach, a source initially framed the hiring to CBS Sports as having nothing to do with X's and O's. Davis himself essentially confirmed as much in speaking with the media this offseason, identifying himself as someone who won't truly be involved with coaching what happens inside the lines, but instead what goes out outside of them.

"Most of my post-playing career has been in the life-coaching space, trying to develop high-performing teams and develop young men into better men and better players," he said. "We're going to start there. Players don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

It's Davis' ability to empathize that's helped him find success in those goals, and readily ingratiates him with NFL players who aren't always prepared for the money and potential stardom they acquire once they achieve their lifelong dream of playing in the league.

"The NFL can provide a lot of distractions for these young men coming into the league," he said. "Most of us come from humble beginnings, middle class all the way down to poverty, and sometimes this can be pretty big for us when we walk into the NFL."

So, yes, Davis will help if and as needed with whatever else McCarthy requires, but his primary job is to make sure Cowboys players are prospering off-the-field and, at minimum, are staying far away from negative headlines. Considering the team's perennial issues with the latter, Davis could make his presence felt in that respect almost immediately.

"They're going to do the X's and O's, and I hope to provide assistance with both the X's and O's, but, more importantly, in the life and development of the whole player," Davis said.

McCarthy wants to change the culture of the Cowboys, and adding Davis as his right-hand man is just another example of how dedicated he is to seeing his plan through. It's also a nod to owner Jerry Jones and Co., who are allowing him the freedom to construct the blueprint as he sees fit -- shedding the stubbornness that saw them glued to Jason Garrett for nearly a decade.

It's a new day in Dallas, and nothing thus far points to that statement being hyperbole.

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Cowboys assistant head coach Rob Davis has important role with team, but it's not what many might think - CBS Sports

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

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Former coach shares struggle to overcome anxiety, depression: ‘I felt guilty and embarrassed’ – KWCH

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WICHITA, Kan. (KWCH) Former Newman basketball coach Mark Potter suffered from anxiety most of his life. Fifteen years ago the anxiety spiraled into severe depression.

That season was different. By the time we got to the first game of that season, I was in severe depression. I had really dark thoughtssuicidal thoughts. To the point of this cloud over my head I can't get rid of it, says Potter sitting in the gym that now has his name painted on the floor.

Potter says in less than six weeks he lost a lot of weight, and interest in the game he loves.

I lost my passion and didn't know why. I would say I would come in and describe it as I would fake it for two hours for practice.

Potter says he did consider suicide and had it not been for his wife, he may have taken his own life.

She finally decided enough is enough. My wife at that point did not take no for an answer.

Retired from coaching, Potter now has a new mission. He travels the country to share his story.

I was not going to talk about this publicly. I felt the guilt and the embarrassment of not being the man, the coach and the father I was supposed to be.

Potter turned to professional help. He went to therapy and was prescribed medications that he proudly tells people he is still on today.

I have no problems telling you and the world Im on medication.

Prairie View President and CEO Jessie Kaye says what Potter is doing is so important to help break the stigma of mental illness.

It's a fear of exposing a vulnerability. When Im sitting in church people may stand up and say there was a spot on my x-ray, or I just found out Im diabetic, or my husband was just diagnosed with cancer. The pastor and congregation are supportive and we send cards and take casseroles. I've never heard anyone stand up and say my anxiety is getting worse or my son is having more trouble with depression or someone in my family attempted suicide, says Kaye.

But thats what Potter is doing. Hes standing up and telling his story through his organization called D2UP. He talks to anyone who will listen, mostly young people in schools and colleges, and tells them that its okay to get help.

There is strength in getting help and becoming the best version of yourself. It is not weakness which is what generation after generation has been told including my generation. If you are struggling at all please take the first step and go to your doctor and do what your doctor tells you to do, says Potter.

Kaye says one in four people will have a mental illness at some point in their life.

A mental illness is a disease. Its a treatable disease. It has to do with chemicals in our brain and recovery is very possible.

Potter says maybe its you, or someone you know. Reaching out for help can and does save lives.

You may change or save a life you never know.

If you or someone you know suffers from anxiety or depression, you can find a list of "Helpful Resources" at kwch.com/stateofmind.

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Former coach shares struggle to overcome anxiety, depression: 'I felt guilty and embarrassed' - KWCH

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

Posted in Life Coaching

The Power of No: Learn to Create the Business You Really Want – Massage Magazine

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Transitioning from a well-paid corporate job to building a successful solo business was, for me, a daunting goal with a lot of trial and error.

But when I was laid off from my corporate job in 2000, I needed to reinvent myself. I discovered the emerging field known aslife coaching.

There were many clients along the way whom I didnt say no to because I was afraid I wouldnt have enough money to make it through the month, let alone build the successful business I wanted.

As I eventually discovered, this was the wrong way to grow a business.

Setting proper boundaries is essential for many reasons; one of the most overlooked or counterintuitive reasons is identifying and implementing boundaries creates structure. Thisstructure is necessary to set and achieve goals and build a successful business or relationship.

Saying yes to everyone or working harder is not always the answer. Using the power of no can make the difference for your practice.

When you dont set limits on your time and energy, you can slowly drift away from your goals and values slipping into a self-sabotaging and continual cycle of burn-out, anger, resentment, overwhelm, frustration and disappointment (not to bum you out), none of which will lead you to a prosperous and fulfilling life and business.

I learned this the hard way. I worried if I said no to just one client, I wouldnt make my bills, or worse, put food on the table.

And so, after a lifetime of living with the self-sabotaging pattern of saying yes when I often wanted to say no, I dedicated myself to transforming these patterns into a system to confidently set and convey my boundaries and stay focused on what was most important to me.

I learned ultimately the more laser-focused and structured my goals were, the sooner I would reach them and the less fearful I felt. It makes sense, right?

When you are not used to setting boundaries, it can feel overwhelming, among other emotions. To make it easier for my clients and students to make these changes, I created The TAILOR System.

TAILOR is an acronym for the six steps to empowered boundary-setting. This mnemonic device makes it simple to remember the steps so you can accomplish your goal of boundary-setting and create the life you want.

T is forTrigger. Learn to identify specifically what situations, memories, language, or behaviors trigger your negative feelings of anger, resentment, guilt, hurt, disappointment, etc. Ask yourself: What specifically triggered my negative emotions?

A is forAwareness and Acknowledgment. Learn to becomeawareof your triggers, negative feelings, and self-sabotaging behaviors when they are about to happen or are happening.Learn the power and necessity of acknowledgment of self and others.

I is forIssue and Intuition. Identify what the real underlying issue is. Ask yourself: What is underneath my anger, frustration, guilt, overwhelm, or other initial reactions? Become aware of, and tap into your intuition.

L is forLanguage. Develop new supportive, confident, and empowering language to communicate your expectations and your boundary line.

O is forOutcome. Identify the specific outcome you want, instead of the disempowering one youve been settling for.

R is forResponse. Identify and break the pattern of your old negative and self-sabotaging responses and develop new, more empowering responses.

The TAILOR System is the big picture for boundary-setting. What I hear most often from people is their biggest challenge in boundary-setting is eliciting the proper language to set and convey a boundary, so Id like to give you my favorite tip to get you started. Its called:My Seven Magic Words.

Myseven magic wordsare: Hmm, Id like to think about this. Learning to say no confidently is abigleap when you are not skilled in setting and communicating boundaries. Therefore, you need what I call bridge language to narrow the gap between explaining why you are saying no, and confidently setting a boundary.

Bridge language starts the process of repatterning your knee-jerk, self-sabotaging response of saying yes and transforms it into a considered response.

When you say, Hmm, Id like to think about this, it conveys reflection simply by the language itself. The word hmm provides a thoughtful pause in the response. It conveys you want to carefully consider the request being made.

Lest you think this phrase is the same as saying maybe, it is not.

I encourage to you practice using this phrase whenever someone asks you something even if it doesnt seem to fit the situation. You will learn to build your muscle and break you knee-jerk response of always saying yes.

Defining and implementing your goals through proper boundary-setting will lead you to work with the type of clients whom you value and will value you.

Isnt this one of the most important reasons for having your own business?

About the Author: Julie A. Hawkinswas a lifelong people-pleaser until the unexpected death of her life partner, which forced her to begin setting and conveying proper boundaries to survive and thrive. Drawing on two decades as a life coach and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) trainer, Hawkins developed an innovative six-step system to help others say no without guilt and confidently set boundaries. She lives in Silicon Valley, where she conducts workshops and spends time with her human and furry friends. She is the author of Say No Without Guilt, Six Achievable Steps to Confidently Set and Communicate Boundaries.

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The Power of No: Learn to Create the Business You Really Want - Massage Magazine

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

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Do You Need to Do It All Yourself? – Thrive Global

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After a long, successful run in corporate America, in March of 2016, I was fired from my second executive position in about 20 months. I was lost, and I didnt know the next step in my life, family, or career. I felt mentally and emotionally paralyzed and thought my run of success was over.

A friend of mine who had started coaching on a professional basis called me and begin asking questions about my termination, my current state, and my future intentions. After a few calls, he asked if I wanted some help moving forward. I said yes. His immediate response was, are you saying yes to support from a friend or a coach? This question shocked me because, well, we were friends. I never thought about him as a coach. I thought coaching and his coaching business was a joke. I struggled with the concept of paying someone to talk to me and be my friend.

A week or so later I still had no better idea of what my future looked like, and honestly, I had no idea how to handle even living. I never told anyone at the time, but I was suicidal and had almost given up on life. I was 300 pounds, an alcoholic, and had no idea how to even begin putting my life back together. We spoke again, and I hired him. I still wasnt a believer, but I realized that if I kept doing what I had always done, I was going to keep getting the same results. I just thought I needed another job. He had bigger ideas.

How much water do you drink every day? my coach asked.

I need to find a job, and you ask me about how much water Im drinking? I shot back.

Mike, your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are directly tied to your career, he fired back.

This began the process of me showing up to lead myself before I could lead anyone else. My coach checked in with me often, called me out on my excuses, and kept pushing me to new levels of health. About 6 months in, I had lost about 60 pounds, stopped drinking, and had career prospects. My family was shocked at the progress I had made in such a short time. I noticed that my kids began choosing better meals, and they even began mixing in some exercise in our basement gym.

Im not looking for a job anymore. Im going to start a coaching business, I told my wife once I decided what I was going to do. So were going to lose everything? she sarcastically and ferociously shot back. At this point, I knew what I had to do, and I knew that Id never work for anyone ever again.

During my corporate career, the only things I loved doing were building high-performing teams and helping my employees achieve more than they thought they could achieve. I did everything else because I felt that I had to to get to coach and present to them. When I decided to coach, I had also basically decided that I would never again do anything I didnt enjoy.

I hired a business coach to help me define and get started in my business and went to conferences and many group trainings to create my business as fast as possible. I watched videos, read books, and listened to audiobooks somewhere between 8-10 hours per day to continue to grow and learn how to coach. I joined a mastermind where I was the only one without income, and the two senior members were millionaires. My business began to build, and once that coach could take me no further, I hired another coach who was farther along. I had shifted from someone who didnt believe in coaching at all to someone who couldnt get enough. I could gain access to someone elses knowledge and wisdom, and since they had already created what I wanted to create, they could help me get there faster. My growth was light-speed. My entire life changed rapidly.

At the beginning of January 2020, I began a membership community for men. We focus on and help each other lead self, lead society, and lead family more powerfully and with more intention and focus. Currently, we are small, but still have men from Montana, to Nebraska to Georgia. Each week theres training and coaching, the men digitally communicate daily, and each month we will gather virtually so that we can commune. On January 28, 2020, we held our first virtual group gathering. Heres some of the unsolicited feedback from the first session:

That was incredible for me. Honestly, never felt more understood than in that call. I look forward to showing up for myself and all of you going forward.

It was great to hear everyones story. It makes me feel good to talk about mine. #movingforward.

Loved the call last night, everyone. Thanks for your vulnerability. I woke up today with a little extra early spring in my step. Focused on how Im showing up for myself.

I agree with everyone that that call was excellent last night. The character of the men in the group was impressive. I am ready to start living my purpose and it is incredible to know that I can count on the people in this group to support me. Thanks, everyone, just for being here.

The guys are feeding off of each other, inspiring each other, and supporting each others growth. Its fun to watch each of them show up and help each other. They get it. Community and support help you get where you want to go faster, and theres immense value in journeying with a group of people who are after something similar to what you are trying to achieve.

Since Ive started my business, Ive had five coaches of different varieties, been in three masterminds, attended multiple weekend retreats, and hired many people to help me solve problems in half the time that it would have taken me to solve them myself.

Ive certainly grown from that guy who didnt believe in coaching. The people I surround myself with today are more accomplished, polished, wealthy, and willing to teach me. I pay a lot of money to get where I want to go faster because Ive learned a few things:

Probably the most powerful lesson Ive learned is that unhealthy pride convinces you that you need to do it yourself. Healthy pride is desiring to accomplish more, but unhealthy pride will make the journey longer, more volatile, and a lot more difficult than required. The men in my membership group are already seeing the benefits after one month. The right group of people will make sure that you achieve what you want as long as youre humble enough to give away your knowledge and wisdom and accept support.

The support is available. There are coaches, masterminds, and groups everywhere that will help you achieve. The main question to ask yourself: Do I feel that I need to do it on my own? The answer to that question will determine how fast you achieve your goals.

A former coach gave me this advice:

Professionals hire coaches and pick the easiest route. Amateurs try to do it themselves and have convinced themselves that their worth and value is wrapped up in their struggle.

Which do you choose?

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Do You Need to Do It All Yourself? - Thrive Global

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

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A time management coach’s tips on getting better organized – Fast Company

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As a time management coach, I clearly care about organization. On a daily basis, I work with goal-oriented individuals trying to find the right balance. That being said, you may be surprised to hear that being overly focused on organization can be counterproductive. I explain with these five tips to living more peaceful and productive lives.

Sometimes, in the quest for the perfect organizational system, individuals can take their eyes off the prize. I recognize people have missed the mark when they tell me that theyve read every time management book they could find, tried all the tools available, and still feel hopelessly unproductive.

Instead of focusing on the perfect system, I recommend starting to establish simple habits that help you to get more done. For example, maybe begin by writing down your top three tasks for the day on a Post-it note and sticking it to your computer. Then focus on accomplishing those items first. Id rather have you finish whats most important than spend hours reorganizing task lists and questioning whether youre even using the right task management tool.

Over time, you can up-level your systems, and they could become more sophisticated. But if you spend more time planning and organizing than doing, its time to shift your focus.

From my observation, everyone needs some method of recording commitments and everyone needs some way to intentionally decide what they will do each day. But how individuals complete those tasks can vary widelyand thats okay. Some people will have all commitments recorded in their calendar. Others will use a task management app. Others will keep a paper to-do list. And in terms of planning, theres similarly a range of options from all digital to completely analog and variations in between.

Related: The time-management hack that doubled my income

The right organization system for you is the one that youre willing to use consistently and that helps you act in a focused and productive manner.

Saying no by either not accepting commitments in the first place or by eliminating commitments that are currently on your plate is your most powerful organizational tool. Its the equivalent of decluttering your closet before you attempt to hang everything up. By reducing the overall number of items, you make it easier to organize.

When you declutter from a time management perspective, youre not only giving yourself less to fit into each day but also more time to keep the whole system maintained.

Similar to committing to being a healthy person, being an organized person requires a lifestyle change.

You cant eat well and exercise for a few months, lose some weight, then go back to doing what you were doing before and expect to stay healthy. In the same way, you cant think intentionally about your commitments, use your calendar, get some things done, and then just stop practicing those habits.

Organization is an ongoing commitment on a daily basis to do the activities that will make you feel less stressed and more productive.

Im a very organized person, and Im known for having good follow-up and follow-through. But even very organized people can make mistakes! I had a situation recently where I had made a note in my calendar to follow up with one of my coaching clients about a piece of information on a certain day. (Whenever I make follow-up commitments, I write down the task.)

However, in this instance, I labeled the beginning of the task in the same way I label client birthdays with a 3-[Client Name]. On the day I was supposed to follow up, I was moving too quickly and assumed it was my clients birthday instead of opening the task and realizing that I needed to send her follow-up information. So long story short, she got a birthday greeting about six months in advance! This was a good reminder to me to be careful about how I label my tasks and also to slow down and read them more carefully.

The path to an organized life may be closer than you realize. Instead of aiming for perfection or striving to copy someone else, commit to a lifestyle of discovering and using the strategies that help you to be your best, most organized self.

Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the author of Divine Time Management and How to Invest Your Time Like Money and a time management coach. Check out her website for more information.

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A time management coach's tips on getting better organized - Fast Company

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February 21st, 2020 at 12:41 pm

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Wells Fargo Foundation Increased Access to Housing, Jobs, Financial Coaching in 2019 – Insurance News Net

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Grants funded nonprofits in 50 U.S. states, Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, and international cities

SAN FRANCISCO--(BUSINESS WIRE)-- In 2019, the Wells Fargo Foundation launched a new philanthropic strategy anchored around unlocking economic opportunity for people and communities by addressing housing affordability, small business growth and financial health. The Foundation invested $455 million in grants in the last year, funding national organizations to deliver programs at scale and nonprofits that specifically address the needs of local markets.

This press release features multimedia. View the full release here: https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20200220005232/en/

Wells Fargo is on a journey to create greater community impact through its business and philanthropy, said Bill Daley, vice chairman of Public Affairs at Wells Fargo. Economic mobility is a critical issue, particularly for low-to-moderate income communities where people lack access to the resources necessary for a sustainable livelihood: adequate housing, stable jobs, or financial health services. In the year ahead, we will streamline our grant-making around these important areas and focus on addressing systemic barriers to success. This is the time to collaborate, be bold and think like social entrepreneurs.

We commend Wells Fargo for their willingness to step up on issues facing our constituents and commit resources and expertise to look at community challenges at the local, state and national levels, said Derrick Johnson, president and chief executive officer of NAACP. We have a long way to go to achieve economic equality in this country, and its going to take highly focused efforts and unparalleled conviction to get us there. We were glad to see Wells Fargo further their commitment to housing, small business and financial health in its philanthropic approach; as these issues affect everyday life, particularly in low-income communities, and will create a pathway for more people to attain financial mobility.

Making an Impact: Recap of 2019 Philanthropy

Overall, Wells Fargos philanthropy in 2019 helped more people find a place to call home, grow small businesses offering meaningful local jobs and increase financial health and wellness. Results include:

In addition, Wells Fargo made more than 2,800 grants to nonprofits in response to the housing affordability crisis and unique local challenges in communities across the U.S. From Anchorage, Alaska to Atlanta, Wells Fargo supported organizations that are developing new affordable rental homes, expanding homeownership opportunities for ethnically diverse households, creating long-term affordability by investing in community land trusts, and stopping the devastating flow of families into homelessness. For example, Wells Fargo provided funding for the renovation of apartments at Hope Gardens Family Center in Los Angeles, where the Union Rescue Mission helps women and children move from the streets into stable homes.

The Wells Fargo Innovation Incubator (IN2), a collaboration with the National Renewable Energy Lab that speeds the path to market for promising clean-technology startups, is another example of momentum in the small business community. In 2019, IN2 expanded into sustainable agriculture and residential housing, adding 15 new startups. To date, 40 portfolio companies have gone on to raise more than $282 million in follow-on funding and six have successfully exited the program through mergers and acquisitions.

With tax-time approaching, the Wells Fargo Foundation and the AARP Foundation are reaching seniors with free tax preparation services, helping them access critical tax credits and refunds that many depend on for household necessities, debt repayment, or savings. The funding will enable AARP Foundation to expand Tax-Aide, the largest free, volunteer-run tax preparation service in the U.S., to 24 additional neighborhood locations while more than doubling the number of taxpayers who receive a refund from 34,000 to over 70,000.

About Wells Fargo

Wells Fargo & Company (NYSE: WFC) is a diversified, community-based financial services company with $1.9 trillion in assets. Wells Fargos vision is to satisfy our customers financial needs and help them succeed financially. Founded in 1852 and headquartered in San Francisco, Wells Fargo provides banking, investment and mortgage products and services, as well as consumer and commercial finance, through 7,400 locations, more than 13,000 ATMs, the internet (wellsfargo.com) and mobile banking, and has offices in 32 countries and territories to support customers who conduct business in the global economy. With approximately 260,000 team members, Wells Fargo serves one in three households in the United States. Wells Fargo & Company was ranked No. 29 on Fortunes 2019 rankings of Americas largest corporations. News, insights and perspectives from Wells Fargo are also available at Wells Fargo Stories.

View source version on businesswire.com: https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20200220005232/en/

Jennifer Dunn, (202) 303-2966

[emailprotected]

Kim Erlichson, (201) 463-4243

[emailprotected]

Source: Wells Fargo & Company

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Wells Fargo Foundation Increased Access to Housing, Jobs, Financial Coaching in 2019 - Insurance News Net

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