KASEY EDWARDS

Last updated09:24, April 7 2015

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Fossicking for problems in other people's lives isn't friendship.

"But how are youreally?" It was the second time my recent acquaintance had asked how I was. I'd never noticed how intrusive they were - those five little words.

I'd answered "fine" the first time. Not "fine" in that emotionally brittle sense that really means I'm-anything-but-fine (and-if-you-really-cared-you'd-know-it-already). I'd meant it in the neutral sense of "everything in my life is pretty ace right now and 'fine' just about covers it".

But apparently she knew better. She was sure I was concealing something.

Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head to the side in a way that said "We both know that's not true and you're only fooling yourself."

It's done with such conviction and consistency that I inevitably leave every interaction wondering if I am indeed fooling myself. Maybe I'm too deluded to realise my life really does suck and I just need a 'good' friend to guide me to my pit of despair so that I may wallow in it.

Over the years, I've had similar conversations or versions of it with people who insist on treating each and every social interaction as if I were lying on a couch with a box of tissues. Call it the 'Opraheffect': the invasion of therapy culture into every nook and cranny of life.

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The five words people dread hearing from their friends