I am overwhelmed by choice. As a recent college graduate, among other options, I have the opportunity to go to grad school, move for a job, or stick around and work to save. My parents and my girlfriend have their opinions, as do my friends, and I think Im just experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out). How do I know what I want?

S. Maddox

I applaud your ability to see that you have all these opportunities. Having the world laid out before you can be a very empowering and overwhelming feeling. Ive learned similar lessons about choices. Given too many, we are overwhelmed, and not given enough, we think something better is out there. Why do you think most marketing presents good, better and best options?

Aside from your fear of missing out, you probably know what you want; a short-term feeling or idea that youd like to maintain. Do you want to get out of the familiar and travel? Do you need more education to do what youd like to do? You must remember that the people in your life who are giving you their opinion, its not their life to lead. A lot can be said for the sage advice of someone with experience you trust, but youre going to have to walk your own path in order to become who you really are. Nana says, You can loan someone your map, but the way they decide to go is theirs. Dont be afraid to make those first few scary choices, even if the outcome is not exactly what you want. I can guarantee you will learn and grow from walking through it. Some of the dumbest choices Ive ever made taught me a skill that was invaluable to me in the future.

The key is to try to silence the noise and be as present as possible in order to listen to what that little inner voice is saying to you. It may be small, it may be weak, but it is there and you are aware of it. Have you ever heard that we all wear masks? Masks we present to the world to shield who we really are, our facades that allow us to operate in needed roles like parent, partner, leader, cheerleader. Masks that protect us, and help define who we are and our place in the world.

Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle described how the ability to make choices frees us. Choice implies consciousness a high degree of consciousness. Without it, you have no choice. Choice begins the moment you dis-identify from the mind and its conditioned patterns, the moment you become present. Nobody chooses dysfunction, conflict, pain. Nobody chooses insanity. They happen because there is not enough presence in you to dissolve the past, not enough light to dispel the darkness. You are not fully here. You have not quite woken up yet. In the meantime, the conditioned mind is running your life.

In a world of so many opportunities, choices are defining moments that continue to shape the ever-evolving you. Its easy to listen when the world agrees with you. The difficultly lies when youre challenged to go against popular opinion. It can feel taxing to muster up the courage necessary to make the day-to-day choices, much less live out your unique dream. Listen when your inner voice overpowers what everyone else is saying. This is your true self inviting you to be free to claim your individual path.

Some of the most famous and successful people did not begin that way. They each got there step by step, choice by choice. Theres freedom in knowing that while every choice makes change, it is the sum total of our choices that guides us to the present moment and carves the pathway of our lives. If you dont like a choice you made, change it. It you cant change it, change your attitude about it. Dont put off choices you know you need to make.

A simple way to get in tune with yourself is compiling pros and cons list. Draw that line and compare and see how you react. We love horoscopes and advice columns and self-help groups because we have something to react to, we can see parts of ourselves in anothers story. When faced with a choice, ask if it moves you closer to your vision for yourself. Does it increase your joy and your experience? Does it connect you with what you do best, allowing you to grow?

Growing pains are called such for a reason. Through the growth process, its important to feel those periods of transition, however uncomfortable they may be. Learn from the past, but do not define yourself by it. I doubt the butterfly scorns the caterpillar. You dont have to define your whole life story based on one chapter.

Try as best you can to observe the journey with the inner confidence that you are being the best you know how to be. Confidence is not, Will this work out or will they like me? Confidence is, Ill be OK if it doesnt or they dont. It is often said that when a person is figuratively shaken, they will see what spills out, their character and what theyre made of. Its not going to be a wrong choice that you make and trust me, there will be some it will be how you react to it and what lessons you take from it. Its OK to walk up to this challenge just as you are. You cant mess up just by being you.

Kimberly can be reached at sinceyouasked81435@gmail.com.

Read more:
Masks and mindfulness | Opinion - The Daily Planet