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Archive for the ‘Self-Awareness’ Category

Ram Dass – Overcoming Pain And Addiction

Posted: December 8, 2019 at 8:18 pm


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December 8th, 2019 at 8:18 pm

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Dear Kiki: I have a boyfriend, but fell in love with another man while grieving my mother. Now I don’t know what to do. – Little Village

Posted: November 7, 2019 at 5:44 am


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Questions about love and sex in the Iowa City-Cedar Rapids area can be submitted to dearkiki@littlevillagemag.com, or anonymously using this form. Questions may be edited for clarity and length, and may appear either in print or online.

Dear Kiki,

I was hoping you might shed some light on a situation Ive found myself in. Over the past four years Ive been in a relationship with my bf. The first year was great, but after I moved in with him and his roommates, another couple moved into the house as well. There was a chick who tried to break us up. It soured me on my trust and appreciation for him to stand up for us, since I was being taken advantage of and we were disrespected, but I couldnt say anything because all the housemates worked at the same workplace and I didnt.

My bf and I moved into our own place after a year of that, and our relationship continued to decline. I called my mom daily for a breath of normalcy, as I lived in a tiny college town far away from home. Fast forward two years and he and I have moved in with his parents so we could save to move closer to my family specifically, my mom.

Well, mom passed away about a month ago. I had started talking to a couple of guys I met while gaming, and they gave me support and the attention I needed while I stayed in the hospital and hospice with Mom as she passed. My bf stayed at the hospital a few of those nights and shared the experience. However, while he wasnt there, I was receiving four-hour-long phone calls from one of those guys every night and texts from the other guy (Ryan). Ryan invited me to visit him for a sort of vacation and touristy-sightseeing trip to his hometown of Las Vegas (would be my first time) when it was all said and done.

Moms illness was terminal. I was the only one present at her death. She had been my best friend. It shook me.

I decided after weeks of being back at my bfs parents house and playing every night for hours with Ryan that I wanted to meet him. Our conversations got serious, sexual, happy, ridiculous but he never made me feel like I was wasting his time. Granted, I quit my job to stay with my mom and have yet to feel comfortable getting a new job. Ryan is temporarily unemployed as well. Be that as it may, I made the trip.

We fell in love; it was like a dream. He has invited me to stay for two and a half weeks at the end of this month and has already bought my roundtrip boarding passes. Now I dont know what to do. I still love my bf and he doesnt know, but its killing me that Ive cheated for the first time in my life. My mom only wanted me to be happy and safe. I had gotten to show her a picture of Ryan before she passed, and she said he was cute. That was before he and I even fell as hard as we did for each other. She was upset with my bf for mistreating me in the past. But that was before he stayed in the hospital with me to support me supporting her. I feel like that was a breakthrough for us. But I found someone who treats me well. So far at least. Im so lost. I wouldnt have gotten into this had I been able to run it by my mom from the start.

Ive been an emotional wreck for two months. I cant even stay with my dad and sister because the absence of my mom haunts me so much. I would usually ask her for her help, but seeing as thats not an option and my counselor isnt taking sides, I turn to you. I know its unlikely youll even see this, but I could really use some advice. Thank you.

Replacing One Type of Love with Another

Dear Replacing,

First, let me offer you my deepest sympathies on the loss of your mother. My mom passed away when I was in my early 20s, and on top of the grief, it makes so many little things so much harder. Even now, years later, I think of things at least once a week sometimes once a day that I wish I could ask her. I commend you for having the self-awareness to reach out elsewhere for advice. I was not that wise that quickly!

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Its not typically smart to make big life decisions when youre grieving. But, Replacing, you have backed yourself into a corner, and you may have to. You mention a counselor, a father and a sister I urge you to let all of them know once you have decided to pursue a course of action with your romances. You will need someone to lean on, someone who knows whats up someone who can physically be there to support you.

It is entirely possible to love more than one person at once. There is no value in disparaging or dismissing the things you feel just because they cant work out pragmatically. Its entirely possible that you do still love your boyfriend and you do love Ryan but unless all three of you are polyamorous, it is not possible to make that work. The logistics of maintaining multiple romantic relationships are daunting, even when all parties are on board. Its not something you can do on your own, through backchannels, using deception. Thats exhausting, not to mention unethical.

But you also need to accept that the choice may not be yours to make. Your boyfriend, regardless of the ups and downs of your relationship, is still a complete human being with agency, and he deserves the right to make an informed choice about where you go from here.

Tell him that you cheated, Replacing. And, while youre at it, be honest with Ryan about the fact that you still have feelings for your boyfriend and about the status of that relationship. It might be ugly, on both counts but unless youre in physical danger from one or both of them, you need to rip off the bandage. The way they each react will inform your choices moving forward.

You cant control their reaction, but you can control who you are in relation to it. Commit to accepting the choices they make with respect. Commit to living with integrity and self-awareness going forward. Commit to honoring your grief and growing from it. The more wisdom and grace you can offer yourself, the stronger all of your relationships will be in the future, even if neither of these make the cut.

And, Replacing, I know its hard to imagine moving home, with all the reminders of your mom around. But think of it as a chance to maintain the thread of connection to her. It will hurt, but just being present with her absence may be the grounding in reality that you need to get through this.

xoxo, Kiki

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Dear Kiki: I have a boyfriend, but fell in love with another man while grieving my mother. Now I don't know what to do. - Little Village

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November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

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Internet Sensations Kero Kero Bonito and Negative Gemini Live Up to the Hype – D Magazine

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It felt like one long internet secret was spilling onto a real-life stage at Canton Hall on Tuesday night. Full of inside jokes and layers of aesthetic plucked from moments in pop history, Kero Kero Bonito played a confident set opened by the equally strong Negative Gemini.

Formed on a message board in the tweens, Kero Kero Bonito is an aggressively playful act that began as a predominantly electronic project. KKB then morphed into a rock band, complete with the straddle-pose guitarist sound-checking with a Pantera riff between songs. They can go from comedic to heartfelt on a whim, which is not an uncomplicated skill. On Tuesday, their set was a balance between 2016s electronic-dominant Bonito Generation, and 2018s rock album, Time n Place, along with some singles thrown in.

Negative Gemini has also become more guitar-oriented since starting a label called 100% Electronica, one of the star-makers of the current iteration of the Vaporwave movement. The most famous merchandise booth staffer in Dallas last night had to be George Clanton, who runs the record label with Negative Gemini. He was not performing, but he is also a musician, regularly selling out shows with a signature minimal L.E.D. screen setup that probably has many bands kicking themselves for not thinking of the idea first. He says its his first night on the tour as he sells records, cassettes, and profane keychains.

This next song goes out to anyone whos ever been fucked over, says Negative Gemini, a.k.a. Lindsey French, before performing You Werent There Anymore. Living up to the name, the songs are often about things that are not, rather than areshe opened with another declaration of spiritual absence, You Never Knew. Using enormous beats that probably should have never resurfaced after 1995 or so, Negative Gemini is one of the most profoundly original acts in contemporary music. Growling over a little bit of Enya mixed with straining radio-pop melodies and a trip-hop undercurrent should be a disaster of misguided genre splicing. And yet, it all works. A recent collaboration with Adult Swim has helped to raise the artists profile beyond a dedicated online following.

Her last two shows in North Texas were both at local art museums and without a full band. While the pared down setup works best in that somewhat sterile environment, the addition of a rhythm section changes Negative Geminis live performance. The jumping and finger-pointing that marks Frenchs movements is now accompanied by a weapons cache of noise. She almost knocks a sampler off of a keyboard stand twice. There are also moments so relaxed that you may not notice the chorus to a song is, Dont Worry Bout the Fuck Im Doing. While its unclear whether French alone, or the entire ensemble is Negative Gemini, she closes the set by saying, Were Negative Gemini.

Kero Kero Bonito never goes anywhere near the depths of Negative Gemini, but instead played an upbeat and often hilarious set that seemed to change styles mid-sentence. Like many an overseas-touring-act before them, they professed their love for the Buc-ees gas station chain. Founding member Gus Lobban also dedicated the first song to Mark Cuban. And the next. And the next. It was a joke that went from good to bad and back again, and was met with increasingly enthusiastic applause.

While Kero Kero Bonitos humor and shape-shifting approach to any particular sound may border on novelty for some listeners, there is a self-awareness to their music so sophisticated that its difficult to parse how serious they are being at any given moment. Lines like, I thought I was only acting set to an uncomfortably Weezer-like backing track is worth experiencing in a live setting, if only to put some faces with the expression. So is seeing a group so confident that they can cover late-period U22004s strategically tepid Vertigowithout so much as a smirk.

There were also props. A white flag waved early in the set, and finally, a baton, which singer Sarah Midori Perry used to conduct the audiences participation. That would prove to be of little challenge. Kero Kero Bonitos fans are so enamored with this group that they would have done anything they asked. An entirely rowdy crowd leaped in place and smacked into one another while mouthing lyrics both in English and Japanese.

When the lights came up, a MIDI version of John Denvers Take Me Home, Country Roads played on the PA speakers. The crowd began to sing along and find partners for an impromptu hoedown. Why did they know the words? Perhaps it on some meme that was popular for half an hour. Whatever the reason, it was great to witness.

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Internet Sensations Kero Kero Bonito and Negative Gemini Live Up to the Hype - D Magazine

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November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

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Clairo Combines Charm and Clear Sincerity – The Emory Wheel

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Gaby Blade/Contributing

Donning a green crayon costume, Clairo brought her brand of bedroom pop to Variety Playhouse in Little Five Points on Halloween night. Combining intimate lyrics with authenticity, Clairo showcased her youth and charm by exuding self-awareness throughout the show.

Claire Cottrill, known by her stage name Clairo, grew up in Carlisle, Mass., where she began recording music at a young age. After posting music on YouTube, Bandcamp and SoundCloud, she first gained attention when her single Pretty Girl went viral in 2017. Earlier this year at the age of 20, Clairo released her debut album, Immunity, which reached No. 51 on the U.S. Billboard 200. The release of Immunity propelled Clairo into mainstream recognition, and in October, Pitchfork named her single Bags one of their top 200 songs from the decade.

The first delicate piano chords to her opening song Alewife echoed throughout the room. Clairo sauntered onto the stage, her presence met by emphatic chants from the audience. Clairo was not the only one who had dressed up for the holiday; the crowd was saturated with bright costumes and makeup. One concertgoer was adorned in a flower crown as Dani from Midsommar while another wore a bear costume. Halloween created a unique environment for the concert, encouraging audience engagement and inclusivity.

Clairo has largely been considered part of the recent rise in bedroom pop, a subgenre of pop characterized by minimally processed, do-it-yourself music that could be produced in a bedroom. Typical of the bedroom-pop style, much of Clairos music opts for gritty, lo-fi vocals. Songs like Flaming Hot Cheetos showcases hushed vocals layered over a minimal, looping beat. Get With U and 2 Hold U follow a similar formula, juxtaposing gentle lyrics with gauzy synth backing. The environment of the concert seemed to mimic the musical style. Grainy, home movie-esque landscape videos filled the half-moon backdrop, and lighting changes were kept to a minimum. Though her music is lo-fi, Clairo impressed the audience with her live vocal prowess.

Early in the set, Clairo performed Bubble Gum, switching out the ukulele from the recorded version for subtle guitar chords. Here she stood softly by the microphone and glided through the verses, adding melodic runs that punctuated her vocal talent throughout the performance. Although still largely dominated by the bedroom-pop aesthetic, Immunity also contains songs with higher production value. I Wouldnt Ask You, the albums most powerful track, is broken up into two parts. The beginning starts slowly, with piano highlighting Clairos minimal lyrics. As the song progresses, the tempo speeds up, transitioning into a more upbeat R&B cadence. Ultimately, the singles off of Immunity combine glossy, DIY aesthetics with higher production value, creating deeply moving moments like I Wouldnt Ask You.

Typical of the genre, Clairos lyrics reflect a contemplative relatability. Many of her songs revolve around the uncertainty that comes in the period between adolescence and adulthood. In songs like Impossible, Clairo explores the temptation of connecting with an ex-partner, admitting, I just wanted to hear your voice so clear. Recently coming out as not straight, several of the singles from Immunity explore queer relationships. Clairo cried, Give it to me! as she broke into her hit single Bags. The audience obliged, singing along enthusiastically, I cant read you, but if you want, the pleasures all mine. Immediately after Bags, as the first few drum beats of Sofia began, the crowd erupted into the loudest cheers of the night. A sacchrine and romantic song, Sofia explores first crushes and the stigma of queer relationships, urging, Sofia, know that you and I/ Shouldnt feel like a crime. Bags considers similar themes to Sofia, examining uncertainty in first-time queer relationships. Her music feels like thoughts from a diary, giving the audience an intimate relationship with the singer.

As the show came to a close, Clairo brought a stool to the front of the stage, announcing that she had one last song, a new song she had written while on tour. The room fell quiet as she crooned with an undeniable tenderness. The song came to an end, and the audiences cheers were deafening. Clairo lowered her guitar, holding her face in her hands as she broke into tears, seemingly overwhelmed by the audience. She held the mic close and whispered a soft Thank you before leaving the stage.

After a moment, the singer waltzed back on stage for the encore, performing RACECAR, 4EVER, Pretty Girl and I Dont Think I Can Do This Again. During Pretty Girl, the music video was projected onto the backdrop, featuring a young Clairo singing along to the song, sporting pigtails and a sweatshirt. In this moment, with her younger self projected behind her, Clairo was her most personable, laughing at her own cheesy dancing and awkwardness. Throughout the show, she possessed an unquestionable star quality, completely captivating the young crowd. And yet, she seemed approachable and knowable. Clairo built an intimate relationship with the audience, so much so that it felt like we were watching a close friend perform in front of us.

As the final song I Dont Think I Can Do This Again ended, Clairo took a moment to look across the audience.

She stepped close to the mic. Ill never forget this show, she whispered. Thank you.

I am certain I will never forget this show either.

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Clairo Combines Charm and Clear Sincerity - The Emory Wheel

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November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

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‘RHOC’: We All Need to Lay Off Emily Simpson And Her Marriage With Shane – Femestella

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Ever since joining the Real Housewives of Orange County in season 13, Emily Simpson has been in the news constantly.

Or rather, Emily and her marriage to Shane have been in the news constantly.

Shane has made many unsavory appearances on the show, especially in season 14. Hes often shown belittling Emily, mocking her, and ignoring her. Quite frankly, he comes off as a jerk.

Of course, fans have attacked Shane and rumors of their divorce are constantly swirling.

Unfortunately, most of these comments arent coming out of love and concern for Emily, but rather out of the pure love for gossip.

Emily has been extremely open about the struggles shes faced in her marriage. In a confessional on the show, she said,

Its hard because for 10 years, Ive always had a problem with the way he talks to. Thats what Im dealing with every single day, and I have little kids! This is really hard.

But according to Emily, Shane has made a huge effort to change his ways since the show aired. Emily told People TV,

When you have the opportunity to watch yourself, sometimes the self-awareness that you get is just an entirely different perspective.

She added,

[Shane] really saw and heard everything everybody was saying and really took it to heart. He watched with the intent from learning from it, and he learned a lot.

Emily has also shared images on Instagram of her husband standing by her side as she recovers from hip replacement surgery.

At the end of the day, viewers only see a very small, edited version of their marriage. And its nobodys place to judge someone elses relationship from the outside.

All we can do is wish the best for Emily, whether thats with Shane or without him. Emily is a good-hearted person who deserves to be treated well. And if Shane is doing that, then thats all that should matter.

Real Housewives; Luann de Lesseps Clears Up All Those Rumors About Her Sobriety

Feature Photo: Phillip Faraone / Bravo

Lena Finkel is the Editor and Founder of Femestella. Prior to starting Femestella, she worked at People, InStyle, and Tiger Beat. Her favorite Housewife is Bethenny Frankel and when shes not watching RHONY, you can probably find her obsessing over her tuxedo cat Tom or hoarding drugstore lipsticks.

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'RHOC': We All Need to Lay Off Emily Simpson And Her Marriage With Shane - Femestella

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November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

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This Mom’s Been Sober For 3 Years, and Her Celebratory Photo Shoot With Her Son Is Everything – msnNOW

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Erika Hurt, a mom who officially swore off drugs three years ago, has completely turned it around ever since police photographed her overdosing in a car in Hope, IN, in 2016. While the viral image of Erika at rock bottom is certainly disturbing, the most upsetting part was that her 10-month-old son, Parker, was in the back seat of the car at the time. After going to prison and getting the help she needed, Erika is now three years clean. To celebrate her sobriety and motherhood, she set up a photo shoot with Parker and enlisted photographer Ali Elizabeth to illustrate how far she's come.

"Today marks THREE ENTIRE YEARS of sobriety for me! Y'all already know, but allow me to recap," she wrote in an emotional Facebook post. "Three years ago I was receiving Narcan to bring me back to life after I had overdosed on heroin; all while my son, my mom, and her wife stood and watched. While those are such emotional moments for my family to recall, that's really not what is MOST important today."

"I was unable to hold a job due to my attendance. I was a liar, and a thief. I was homeless. I was depressed."

Because of just how serious Erika's addiction was at the time, there was nothing that could stop her from getting a fix, including her family. It wasn't until she overdosed and received Narcan - a medication that can help to stop an opioid overdose - that she knew she needed to seek treatment once and for all. "What is really important today, is the fact that Narcan saved my life. Narcan kept me alive until I wanted to live," she said. "While I can admit that my son was unfortunately NOT enough to keep me sober then, he is my motivation today. Had Narcan not been available to me; or had someone who felt that I DIDN'T DESERVE Narcan been there that day, I would have NEVER had the chance to get sober and my son would be growing up without ever knowing his mom."

Like many people who get sucked into opioid addiction, Erika's downward spiral began with a prescription. After she got a staph infection on her face at 15, Erika's doctor prescribed her an antibiotic and hydrocodone for the pain. By the age of 19, she was using heroin.

"I used drugs for a total of 10 years. I was unable to hold a job due to my attendance. I was a liar, and a thief. I was homeless. I was depressed. I became a felon," she told POPSUGAR. "I could not perform normal motherly duties to my son because I was dope sick and searching for my next high. My mental development was stunted and my financial health was depleted. I ruined my credit, and burned many bridges with family."

Now, as a mom with a few years of sobriety under her belt, Erika is thankful for how much her life has changed. "My life is SO different. First and foremost, my son and I share an inseparable bond," she said. "I provide 100 percent for him. I am honest and trustworthy. I am responsible and I am dependable. I am making progress financially and mentally. I have wonderful self-awareness and I can accept criticism."

As for any other parents who may be struggling with addiction? Erika recommends getting help as soon as possible. "My suggestion to parents who are struggling with addiction is to link up with a local small group and connect with a core group of healthy sober people working a 12-step program," she said. "Please don't make the same mistake I did."

Scroll ahead to get a look at Erika's celebratory photo shoot, because three years clean is a huge deal.

Originally posted here:
This Mom's Been Sober For 3 Years, and Her Celebratory Photo Shoot With Her Son Is Everything - msnNOW

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November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

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Review: Horror movie’s devilish scares are well-calculated – The Ithacan

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Does anyone actually read the terms and conditions before agreeing to them? Based on the plot of the horror movie Countdown, perhaps they should.

Countdown, written and directed by Justin Dec, features demons and an app that can tell a person when they are going to die, all within a 90-minute runtime. While the characters can be annoying and the plot laughable at times, Countdown is filled with jump scares that create a truly terrifying experience.

The film opens with a high school party that features a few mediocre actors. Tired stereotypes of high school behavior set up the film for disaster. However, many of the characters in the first scene are irrelevant to the rest of the film, and the introduction is rather quick.

Individuals at the party download an app called Countdown onto their phones, and, after accepting the user agreement without reading them the app tells the user how long they have until theyre going to die. The app is viewed as a joke, and characters laugh off their countdowns. The app tells Courtney (Anne Winters), a girl at the party, that she will die in just a few hours. While trying to evade her death, Courtney receives a notification that she had broken the apps terms and conditions, and she dies soon after.

The app is purposefully portrayed as gimmicky, making loud noises that are startling but not scary. When a user breaks the apps terms and conditions agreement, a dark creature comes to drive the user to madness until their time of death arrives. Though the creature is never really seen, it exists as a darkness that intensifies the films scariness.

Courtneys boyfriend, Evan (Dillon Lane), introduces the app to hospital staff members after being admitted for injuries related to a car accident, and the audience finally gets to know the main character, Quinn Harris (Elizabeth Lail). Lail portrays Quinn as an average, likable and smart character, but nothing about her stands out.

When Quinn downloads the app and sees that she will die in just a few days, she decides to go to an electronics store for a new phone when the app will not delete. This is where she meets Matt Monroe (Jordan Calloway), who is also desperately trying to remove the app from his phone.

Calloways portrayal of Matt makes him a character one cannot help but adore. Hes kind, funny and complementary to the high-strung Quinn. Talitha Bateman plays Jordan Harris, Quinns younger sister, and also balances Quinns personality with her sassy nature. These three main characters are the focus of the film. They fit well together and prove to be an entertaining trio.

The characters are not overly complex, which is ideal for the nature of the film. The storyline feels secondary to the films purpose to make the audience jump. Countdown is not a conceptually scary film. The poorly developed demon storyline, which is revealed by an especially ungodly, goofy priest, is crude at best. It feels like a thin rope that barely strings together scary scenes.

However, Countdown excels in its jump scares. As Quinn, Matt and Jordan desperately try and survive past their deemed death hours and beat the app, the demon lurks every time the lights are low, punishing them for failing to adhere to the terms and conditions. The film does not drag a viewer along a creepy, complex storyline but instead spontaneously elevates audience members heart rates when the main characters turn a corner. The jump scares are well placed and at times unexpected, creating a successful scary viewing experience.

Countdown is mildly thought-provoking. It encourages self-awareness in this age of technology, featuring Death? Theres an app for that on its posters. Among a predatorial doctor, an intentional overdose and a deceased mother, Countdown has a mismatched plot in which, while lacking real scares, is involved enough to keep viewers engaged in the film.

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Review: Horror movie's devilish scares are well-calculated - The Ithacan

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November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

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In these trying times, I’m finally happy to admit I’m a hippie – The Age

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For all the potential in every alternative practice to mislead and misguide, woo woo is, for the most part, harmless. Clutching a rose-quartz crystal wont solve any of the worlds problems, but its nice to hold something pretty in your hand and permit yourself to believe, if just for a few seconds, that it might help you in some small way.

It was a tumbled rose-quartz crystal I clutched throughout the unbearable months of my second pregnancy. My little pink pebble gave me something to cling to, literally, as I lay in bed every afternoon, staring at my concealed, agonisingly unknowable daughter.

Her brain had bled a little bleed, in a tricky spot it will either be of zero consequence, or cause catastrophic disabilities the radiographer told me, with more kindness than the starkness of his words would suggest.

My little pink pebble gave me something to cling to as I lay in bed ... staring at my concealed, agonisingly unknowable daughter.

There was talk of presenting our case to an ethics committee, to determine if we should be allowed to terminate a very advanced pregnancy should the worst scenario come to fruition. I rolled that tumbled rose-quartz stone in my hand furiously for months, trying to get it under my skin, into my blood, all the while recoiling at this version of myself: helpless, terrified, seeking solace in a stone purchased for three dollars from a shop called The Angels Trumpet. You will be okay, I said to my baby over and over, rose quartz in hand.

The brain bleed turned out to be of no consequence: at six years old my daughter runs rings around me, physically and mentally. She wasnt, of course, saved by a stone. The stone was of no consequence at all. But it did give me a small measure of comfort at a time when I gratefully hoovered up the tiniest crumbs of it.

Ive also often sought guidance and this is a little harder to fess up to than a bit of crystal fondling from clairvoyants.

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While dutifully submitting to the teary labour of telling My Story to a succession of psychologists and counsellors, Ive never found a therapist whos been able to help me tackle my problemsin any meaningful way. Fifty minutes in the company of a stern woman brandishing a tarot deck, however, never fails to imbue me with a fresh sense of purpose and self-awareness.

Would I seek the services of a clairvoyant if one of my daughters were to be diagnosed with a mental illness? Never. But for tending to the psychological cuts and abrasions accumulated throughout the course of a bumpy but generally okay life, its the crystals, the healers and the psychics with whom Ive found the most comfort.

So Im doing away with making fun of woo woo. From now on, I choose to direct my insults at the people and things who are trying to harm the world, not make it better. But still, best you hide your Magic Happens cushions when I come round for (chai) tea. A leopard can change its spots, but it cant make them disappear.

This article appears in Sunday Life magazine within the Sun-Herald and the Sunday Age on sale November 10.

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In these trying times, I'm finally happy to admit I'm a hippie - The Age

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November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

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Tina Fey Says This Is the One Thing She Will Never Do in a Movie – Showbiz Cheat Sheet

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Actor and writer Tina Fey joined Conan OBrien on his hit podcast Conan OBrien Needs a Friend in October. The fellow comedians discussed Feys former NBC show 30 Rock, the currently-running Mean Girls Broadway show, memories from writing on Saturday Night Live, and finally, the art of acting itself.

Fey started her career in television on Saturday Night Live, eventually becoming the sketch series first female head writer, as well as a Weekend Update anchor. Fey went on to start her own show on NBC about the trials and tribulations of being a late-night comedy show writer titled 30 Rock. She also wrote the iconic teen movie Mean Girls, and starred in the films Date Night, Sisters, and Wine Country.

Fey clearly has a ton of experience on film and television sets. She has acted and improvised all over the entertainment industry. However, the SNL star confessed to OBrien she has certain limitations in terms of what she will do as an actor.

Acting is embarrassing, its just so embarrassing, Fey said on the podcast. But theres one thing thats more humiliating for Fey than all the rest of the things one might be asked to do on camera.

Ever one for self-awareness, Fey said she knows her own acting constraints.

Im very limited as an actor, she admitted on OBriens podcast. Its not about the commitmentthat part she enjoys, and does well at, with her long background in improv and sketch.

I dont mind trying, she said. Some comedy people do.

So where does Fey draw the line? When the scene gets sensual.

For me the boundary the one thing I cant do, Fey told OBrien, I would never be able to believe me no ones asking but I wont do like a sex scene thats the one thing.

The 30 Rock showrunner went on to explain why it was never going to happen. Its not a family values issue; it actually goes back to her days on the improv stage.

The comedy person part of me can remember in improv an older generation of improv where people would sometimes try to pimp you into something like that on stage just to be a jerk. Fey explained that she just doesnt trust it, even on film sets when the lines are scripted.

I have the like, nope youre not going to trick me,' she said. Thats the boundary Im not going to simulate intercourse in a movie.

Fey took another opportunity to poke fun at herself, saying sarcastically no matter how many people call!

Conan OBrien agreed, saying its indeed very awkward to film sex in front of a crew of 50 people or so.

People wanna go to lunch, he said.

Tina Fey appears in Amazon Primes anthology series Modern Love, which is based on the popular New York Times column and subsequent podcast. Fey plays the wife of an actor, who is played by John Slattery. The couple, of course, does not have any sex scenes. We applaud Tina Fey for setting boundaries and sticking to them.

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Tina Fey Says This Is the One Thing She Will Never Do in a Movie - Showbiz Cheat Sheet

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November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

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From Rock Bottom to Rising Phoenix – Thrive Global

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What if we go through life, wholeheartedly believing in one Truth, only to discover that theres a way of being that we never knew existed?

I grew up in the stereotypical New Jersey suburb. I was fortunate to have a supportive family, went on to become a serious competitive dancer, and considered myself a high-achiever in all academics. I wore the words ambitious and overachiever like a badge of honor, priding myself on always giving 110% to everything I did.

The way I showed up during my adolescent and young adult years represented the fraction of myself that was validated by society, by my environment, by my peers, and by the ones I love. I fit perfectly into what was expected of me, which led me to feel secure and safe in being that version of myself. I didnt know any differently or have a reason to believe there was any other way to be. This was my reality.

You dont know what you dont know.

As Steve Jobs once said, You can only connect the dots backwards. Only in hindsight did I realize that those qualities I wore with pride were the very things that lead me to my Phoenix Moment. The moment where I deteriorated to ashes, but ultimately to emerge as the most whole, renewed, revived version of my authentic self.

Junior year of my collegiate career, I tore my labrum in my right hip. As a dance major and a dance team member, consumed by fear of who Id be without the very thing that defined me, I chose to push through the pain for the next two full years of my college dance career. And so began my disintegration to ash.

My physical pain soon became the axis around which my entire life revolved. While my body broke down, my mind gripped onto any ounce of control it could. And my health, self-worth, and relationships all began to deteriorate along with my body.

When I graduated and my injury was properly diagnosed, I opted for surgery thinking that it would fix everything so I could go back to living my reality. But no less than 6 years later, I still battled with debilitating chronic pain and I had no idea what to do.

When my pain didnt resolve after surgery, I looked outside myself for any and all solutions. I tried everything I knew of to heal myself: acupuncture, acupressure, chiropractic adjustments, physical therapy, massage therapy, pain management doctors, trigger point therapy, multiple cortisone injections, marcaine injections, cupping, dry needling, nerve blocks, resting, progressive strengthening

and nothing made a long-term difference. I couldnt understand how I was in my early 20s, young and healthy, and yet my physical pain somehow wouldnt heal in the hands of the medical system we learn to trust wholeheartedly.

Hitting rock bottom seems to be full of only suffering, but what if its divinely orchestrated to disrupt the pattern were living in and redirect our path to reconnect with the core of who we are?

Six years later, I decided I could no longer live with my life on pause. This time, I sought out the only option I hadnt considered yet: talk therapy.

Therapy was the only option I tried on my path to healing that redirected my efforts from seeking solutions outside of myself to looking inward. And to my surprise, talking to a psychologist was the catalyst that sparked everything in my life to change.

This was the first step in my inner journey of transformation that lead me to become 100% pain free within just one year.

There are two causes of transformation:

Pain both physical or emotional can be sudden and disruptive. It challenges us to look inward and find a deeper understanding of our reality. Hitting rock bottom seems to be full of only suffering, but what if its divinely orchestrated to disrupt the pattern were living in and redirect our path to reconnect with the core of who we are? Most awakenings that lead to reconnection with ones purpose come after a disorienting dilemma that sets a person on the path to becoming a more resilient, embodied version of their authentic self.

Like Arianna Huffington came to realize when her health and well-being caved in, our mental and physical wellness is inextricably connected. Our subconscious mind holds our unique, internal structure of beliefs about who we are, what our life should look like, and what is possible for us.

The subconscious mind runs on autopilot, so were projecting from mostly unconscious beliefs that control our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, actions, and results. Reprogramming our subconscious mind not only gets to the root of whats reinforcing our unsustainable behaviors, but also recodes our physiology. We have the power to become our own self-healers.

In looking back on my experience of pushing my body past its limits, I found that I had been slowly chipping away at my health and self-care over time in exchange for hustle and burnout.

Wellness is the integration of heightened self-awareness and shifted beliefs into consistent, daily action so we can unshackle ourselves and be free to live the life we deserve through sustainable lifestyle change.

One lesson I learned from Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley, is the importance of turning our suffering into a superpower. My rock bottom taught me not to aim for perfectionism and higher standards to feel worthy, but rather break out of the mold of societal expectations to embrace true health and wellness through owning who I am and what I feel called to do. From what I can tell, it doesnt get any closer to freedom than that.

Original post:
From Rock Bottom to Rising Phoenix - Thrive Global

Written by admin

November 7th, 2019 at 5:44 am

Posted in Self-Awareness


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