Youre being too emotional.

That phrase is simply a red flag to a bull no matter our gender, and many of us are familiar with a gush of lame retort options then flooding our brain. We were obviously on the defensive at the start and now were in danger of doubling down.

Once our primal fight or flight response has bolted its a big challenge to rein it in, but the better leader in us will want to learn to try. Logic dictates that were at our best when were thinking strategically and have a grounded sense of clarity around what we value in the moment. Not when were flailing at our assailant.

Our emotional reactions are valid and they will persist but when we practice the skill of leveraging their dynamic energy for positive effect, thats when magic happens. When we try our hand at being accountable for managing our own response, were suddenly empowered by personal choice and weve opened the door to our emotional intelligence.

Here are some tips for pulling the handbrake on your emotional knee-jerk reaction once its started.

On the next occasion where you feel triggered to react, make a conscious choice to create a gap between your initial emotion and your verbal response to it. Take a slow deep breath. In the next few seconds, ask yourself:

You may be asking yourself if its really possible to think through all of this in a matter of seconds and shift your gears in time, but youll find that even just your increased focus on self-awareness will make a difference, and the rest will follow in time.

Following are a few rewards for your efforts.

Increased Presence through Self-Awareness: With a sharpened ability to recognise our emotions as they arise, were empowered with the opportunity to manage them purposefully in alignment with our true objectives.

Self-Control: When we work to identify, acknowledge and accept our personal conflict triggers and are practiced at managing them quickly, we can bypass those spontaneous reactions that inflame, by creating a short gap in time. Its in that space that we can contemplate and manage our response.

Effective Relationships: With this new emotional agility, were better able to curb our defensive tendencies, and avoid the disruptive finger pointing and blame.

Flexibility: Our world is transforming so quickly, its more important than ever to develop a mindset that is skilled at being open, accepting and adaptive to change at every turn.

Solution Focus: By managing emotions and remaining as objective as possible during conversations that have the potential to be volatile and unproductive, we can focus our attention on outcomes and end results. Knowing how to regulate our emotional responses in alignment with best outcomes is an empowering place to start.

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Managing your emotional responses in the boardroom - The CEO Magazine