COLUMN: Growing self-esteem and six steps to happy living, with Karl Clancy –

Posted: May 9, 2021 at 1:55 am

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You are enough. Thats something we dont hear often enough and something we hardly ever say to ourselves. We look to others to measure our lives instead of looking at our life and being grateful for just being here at all.

Right now, as you read this, you are enough, but what does that mean? It means that without defining yourself by your job, your address, your physical shape or anything else that you are good enough, a perfect example of you.

For a moment Id like you to ask yourself something.

Can I accept myself as I am, today? Pause and reflect on that question. What I mean is do you feel content in yourself or when you think about it does your attention fall like a shadow on something about yourself that you think makes you unhappy or that youd like to change?

Theres nothing wrong with you if there is something youd like to change, improve or get rid of. In fact that kind of self-critique is essential in the process of learning more about who you are, how you relate to others and the world and most importantly, how you see yourself in terms of how you value yourself.

Wanting to be better, wanting to improve doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you now, just that youre becoming aware that there is potential to live in a way that will ultimately, with work and patience, bring you to a point where your baseline for happiness is much higher than it is today.

Every old habit you learned that doesnt help you now to be happy is up for examination. If you can accept those old habits and live comfortably without them affecting you or others then they are simply to be accepted.

If you see that they actively contribute to your unhappiness though, then they need to be changed or asked to leave. This is Acceptance in action again, the simple practice of looking at everything through the lens of accept it, change it or leave it behind.

The following guidelines are just that, guidelines, but if you start to use them youll soon find that youre living life more happily and are more self-aware and self-confident not just muddling through days carrying things that you would be better off letting go so you dont waste energy on them.

1. Live consciously. Be aware of your life, dont let it be a blur. Experience it with self awareness. Be present. Slow down during your day for long enough to remember what lunch tasted like or what inflection was in a friends voice or how a flower really smelled. This habit allows us time to see ourselves clearly. After all, if you dont have time to look inside how will you ever know if theres a better way to be?

2. Accept yourself as you are and then make choices about things you want to and CAN change or improve to live consciously and peacefully. You cant change your eye colour but you can change your old habits for better ones that help you now. Dont compare yourself or your life to anyone elses either because thats not your life, its theirs, accept it.

3. Notice where you can take responsibility for your life so that it doesnt just happen to you, you happen to it. This is your life and as such you have the final say in how you live it. You may feel powerless to change anything but you really arent. Let go of anything preventing you from reaching for all of lifes potential.

4. Be true to your values in every situation, even if thats hard to do. Personal integrity outweighs crowd mentality. You have to be able to live with yourself before you live with anyone else. Being known as someone who lives in a way that places integrity front and centre will cause people who value that trait to be drawn to you, filling your life with people who will only want good for you.

5. Live knowing that your purpose is simply to live and experience life, then find a purpose in life that focuses your attention and pursue excellence in that patiently and relentlessly, just not to the exclusion of everything else. Finding something to focus on properly allows you to gain new perspectives on how the world works and new ways for you to experience it, growing your horizons all the time.

6. Live in harmony with your conscience. That voice will steer you to the right action and peace. This is self-explanatory I hope! If it doesnt sit right with you then its not right for you. Its your soul telling you that this is one of those times that you cant accept something so it has to go!

These things grow your ability to practice The Art of Acceptance, the way you live in the moment and knowing real inner peace. These are the things I have learned over the past few years that have taken me from broken to content, from the edge of losing life to living one so full that I can spend time sharing what Ive learned with you. If you do the same in a way that works in your life, you will reap the same rewards. Its not about following anything I say slavishly but rather finding a way to put these simple, universal truths into practice in a way that fits your life best for you!

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COLUMN: Growing self-esteem and six steps to happy living, with Karl Clancy -

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May 9th, 2021 at 1:55 am

Posted in Self-Awareness