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When self-improvement is self-destruction: The 4 warning signs – Gears Of Biz

Posted: August 13, 2017 at 4:44 am

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In the age of Instagram, self-help and wellness have never looked more glamorous and appealing, says inspirational speaker Danielle LaPorte.

But as she points out in her new book, White Hot Truth, sometimes the path to self-improvement can become self-destructive.

So much of the self-help space looks great. It looks liberated, progressive and great in yoga pants, she said recently over a vegetarian lunch in Venice. It looks like it is doing the right thing, and sometimes it is, but sometimes it isnt. It needs to be examined.

In many cases, she says, people are simply replacing one kind of addiction or problem for a better-looking one.

LaPorte chronicles hers and others stumbles along the path to enlightenment in her new book, as well as her prescription for doing it healthfully.

Here are four ways she sees self-improvement taking an unhealthy detour as well as strategies for dealing with them.

1. Spiritual bypassing

This term, coined by psychologist John Welwood, is defined as the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds and developmental needs.

In short, LaPorte says, sometimes we do the right things for the wrong reasons. But instead of medicating with alcohol or drugs to feel better, she says, were doing it with macrobiotics and metaphysics. Of course, these habits wont land you in rehab, she says, just in more goddess workshops.

One prime example, she says, is that friend many of us know, with a not-so-loving relationship with her body, who maintains a strict health-food regimen and talks a good game about body positivity but is merely disguising a mild eating disorder as a holistic wellness routine.

The fix: Examine your motives as you journey down the spiritual path; spend some time in self-reflection and asking yourself what you are really seeking and why.

2. Lack of boundaries

In the quest to grow, LaPorte says, many people women in particular become way too tolerant of other peoples bad behavior, thinking they are acting from a place of spiritual acceptance and compassion. This may manifest in staying in an unloving relationship too long, accepting blame and criticism from narcissistic friends, or ceding too much authority to a spiritual teacher even if the instructors approach feels like manipulation or raises alarm bells.

The fix: You have to keep your antennae up, LaPorte says. She advises her own 13-year-old son to have an open heart but to guard it with a big fence that lets in only people who are respectful and interested and really, really loving.

3. Guilt

If your spiritual regimen includes a rewards system or punishment, its a bad sign, LaPorte says. You shouldnt have to meditate for an hour, practice yoga every day or eat 100% gluten-free and organic to earn that chocolate or get that pedicure youve been wanting. Thats not self-love or self-care, she says.

If youre constantly adding to your spiritual to-do list and feeling bad about falling short, or if you find yourself getting competitive about your yoga practice and healthy eating, that may be a sign that youre seeking approval as much as enlightenment.

The fix: With any spiritual practice, she says, You shouldnt have to feel guilty when you dont do it. Do it when you need it and you want it, she says. A really powerful question is: What if no one was keeping score, would you do it? Its not about brownie points, its about the sweetness and the freedom and the euphoria of being a loving person.

4. One-size-fits-all spirituality

Many think they need to adopt all the habits and practices of a spiritual teacher or self-help guru, whether its Deepak Chopra or Tony Robbins. A good teacher should be meeting students at their level and seeing what they need, rather than prescribing a spiritual formula. If mantras are your thing, great. If crystals seem too far out there, fine, she says.

There are a lot of paths and they all work for someone, she says. Like anything else, she says, finding a spiritual practice and path to self-improvement is like finding your own beliefs after you leave a small, one-church town.

The fix: You have to learn to think for yourself, LaPorte says, and that includes being willing to take a break from that meditation practice, Reiki habit or vegan diet to see if its really working for you.


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When self-improvement is self-destruction: The 4 warning signs - Gears Of Biz

Written by grays

August 13th, 2017 at 4:44 am

Posted in Self-Improvement

How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking: 12 Steps

Posted: August 8, 2017 at 7:43 pm

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Part 1



Face down your fears. If you feel your knees turning to jelly out of fear, remind yourself that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Almost certainly, whatever it is that you're frightened of won't happen. If there is a real worry, for example you've forgotten an important prop, do something about it and then stop worrying. Remember, you can always rationalize yourself out of fear.

Part 2



Practice. Find business organizations, networks and clubs in your area (such as Toastmasters) that can afford you the opportunity to practice. Remember to choose topics that you are already an expert on. Speaking on a topic that you are not familiar with will increase your stress, and impede on your performance.


Buy some recording software, and record everything on your laptop. Review it to see where you can improve. Have speaking pros attend your live presentation to give you feedback. Allow yourself the opportunity to learn more every time you go out.

Part 3


Breathe deeply. Practicing a breathing exercise before you go on will relax your body and mind. Here's one that you can do anywhere, even in the wings. Stand still and feel the ground beneath your feet. Close your eyes and imagine yourself suspended from the ceiling by a thin thread. Just listen to your breathing and tell yourself there is no rush. Slow your breathing until you can count to 6 seconds of in-breath and 6 seconds of out-breath. You'll now go on in a totally relaxed and confident mood.


Relax. Relaxing is the art of letting go. There are many ways to let go. You can imagine you're made of rubber . Or you can sit in front of a mirror and make a horse's laugh with your lips. Why not lie on the ground and pretend you're floating? Or, just collapse on the ground like a limp doll. Letting go un-tenses the body and makes you more at ease and relaxed.



Be aware that adrenaline sends the blood rushing to the fight/flight centres of your brain at the base of the skull. Place your hand on your forehead and press gently on the bony points. This will bring the blood to the parts of the brain that need it to present your speech best.

Part 4


Learn how to enroll and engage your audience. If you haven't yet taken a professional development course on public speaking, consider finding a public speaking training course appropriate for your needs. Learning the art of public speaking can enhance your results in a boardroom, in a sales presentation, and even accelerate your climb up the corporate ladder. It is a must-skill for any executive and/or business owner.



How can I stop shaking of nervousness when I'm in front of people?

wikiHow Contributor

Take deep breaths and remember that you are going to be fine. Think of how relieved you will be when it is over. Think about how quickly that 5 minutes will go by.

I'm scared that I'll fumble over the words and people will laugh at me! What do I do?

wikiHow Contributor

If you fumble over a word, make sure you keep on going as if there was no mistake. If people laugh at you, laugh with them, that way they know they are not causing harm to you.

When I am public speaking, I find myself starting to heat up, mainly in the face, then my face turns as red as a tomato. What can I do?

wikiHow Contributor

Take a few deep breaths and pretend you are alone in your room or somewhere where you feel relaxed, and continue the speech.

When I talk to someone or explain anything which is connected with me, I get very tense. My heartbeat raises and I find it hard to find the right words. What should I do?

wikiHow Contributor

It's possible that you're frightened of them judging you and finding you wanting. Think for a moment: Are they really going to judge you? Is this going to last forever? Take a few deep breaths and talk in the same way that you'd talk to your friend. If it continues to be a problem, consider seeing a therapist as you may need help to let go of unresolved issues and learn to better articulate your needs by building up your self worth.

What are some strategies to help in keeping me from stuttering?

wikiHow Contributor

Stuttering is a common result of stage anxiety. The best way to prevent it is to take some steps to calm yourself down before and during the presentation. Some light meditation or breathing exercises in the minutes before you go onstage can help to keep your nerves in check. If you feel a stutter coming on while presenting, stop for a second and take a deep breath. If you have a water bottle with you, take a sip of water to wet your throat and give yourself a second to calm down.

What if the audience is bored?

wikiHow Contributor

If the speech is too long, wrap it up with essential details and fun facts. If it's just not interesting for them, maybe make an on-topic joke.

Where should I be looking when doing my public presentation? Should I try looking at the people in the audience or not?

wikiHow Contributor

Look at various people in the audience right above their eyebrows so you won't be distracted by meeting their gazes directly.

How can I stop feeling uncomfortable when I talk to my friends?

wikiHow Contributor

Talk to them about something you feel confident about. The more you talk with them, the more comfortable it will become.

How can I write a good speech?

wikiHow Contributor

Find good information on your material and make sure you have details to go with it. Inject some emotion and pride to your speech.

I am not able to remember the material I prepare. Is there any way I can remember it better?

wikiHow Contributor

You can try using some sort of mnemonic device to remember your key points. A song or a poem that reminds you of your material as you mentally recite it can be very helpful. If you have a PowerPoint presentation, you can include basic bullet points or pictures that help to keep you on track. If allowed for the presentation, you can also bring note cards or a clipboard with some basic notes. Just make sure you're not reading directly from any materials you bring with you.

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking: 12 Steps

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August 8th, 2017 at 7:43 pm

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Bold Self Improvement

Posted: July 30, 2017 at 11:29 am

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Many people spend their lives wondering when success or a better life is going to magically appear in their lap but, of course, it never happens this way.

Instead, spend less time dreaming and more time working on your thoughts, feelings and goals this is how to improve your life.

Goal Setting

My first suggestion is to set clear goals and map out an action plan. Use who, what, where, when and why questions to nudge your thinking.

Think about what is important to you. For example, your goal setting activities would includedeciding what you want a year from now, five years from now What goals would be important for that to happen? Who do you want in your life? How do you know when you are headed in the right direction?

Set goals, then when you take steps each day towards your goals, you are far more likely to reach your goals than if you just wait for things to happen. And doing that is far better than seeing success happen for other people but not yourself.

Is It Attainable?

When deciding the direction you are headed, are goalsattainable? Start with your short term goals and then work toward your long term goals. This way you wont become discouraged, waiting for five years to see some fruitage from your efforts.

Even while attainable, be careful not to sacrifice important things to get your goals met. An example of this is a person who decides to move up the ladder at work, but has to put in long hours. This person may be sacrificing time that would normally be spent building a stronger relationship with spouse and children. Is the trade off really worth it?

Your Inner Dialogue

Since thoughts and feelings determine whether you are successful or not, be sure they line up. Start listening to yourself.

If you have some negative or self defeating or fearful thoughts and feelings, this will hold you back and make it more difficult to achieve your goals. Look into some therapies you can do yourself or find a therapist that can assist assist you. Emotional Freedom Techniques,EMDR and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are a few that have been greatly helpful to me.

You may know people who seem to be in a constant state of improvement. Always working on some things, reaching towards their goals and making plans.

I believe you can over do it, getting so caught up in the doing that important things such as relationships, parenting, family time, being a spiritual person and nurturing yourself can get put to the side. However, it is important to have goals and set a direction. To muddle about is to get no where.

How to improve? Where do you want to start? Self improvement does not have to be labor intensive, it can be smaller and easier things, just to get the ball rolling and you will feel like you are making some progress.

So lets go over several ways to improve somewill not take a great deal of time or effort, others will. All areunder the umbrella of improvement and will help you have a better life.

Stress Management

It can be a stressful world we live in. What is your stress level? Low, medium or high?Stress managementis important for optimal well being. I suggest you work on it, if you see it in your life.

Dont ignore it. Stressusually builds up over time and leads to symptoms and diseases. In fact, it is thought that 75% or more of Doctors visits are caused by stress.

Your Appearance

How you feel about yourself is reflected in your everyday appearance. Improve on yourself with just making sure your hair is styled and your clothes are well fitted and presentable when going somewhere shopping, working or visiting others.

This makes a good first impression, as people first judge you in the blink of an eye, according to research. (read more on that here).

It does not take fancy styles or the latest fashion. Just look well groomed. This is a boost to your self esteem.

Smile And Make Eye Contact

For some, it is hard to look people in the eye. If this is done in your culture, practice smiling at people and looking them in the eyes. This shows you are comfortable with people. People feel positive about this and will respond back positively.

If you have a hard time, start out by looking just above their eyes and as comfort grows, shift to looking in their eyes.

Make A Budget

Many people have too much debt. Money stress where the money is going to come from, is one of the biggest stresses people have.

I heard yesterday from a relative that is only managing to pay the interest on his credit cards, and so will not ever get them paid off as things stand. Unless he changes something, the amount due will continue to mount. So he is making some drastic changes.

Go on a money diet. Take a look at all the places your money is spent. Cut back on your spending, unless you are severely limited in your income, this can be done.

Can youcut all but your necessary bills? When working, dont buy your lunch, make your lunch. Instead of having cable, buy the box and an antenna for your tv and see what you can get free or check movies out of the Library where you live and learn to play games with the family, which is much more interactive and bonding than watching a movie.

Make a budget. Write it out and plan for all the things that must be paid, set aside some for emergencies and save for the things that you can, rather than put them on a credit card. Stop using your credit cards unless you are making a purchase and then pay that right off. (To build your credit score).

Take the money you are now beginning to save and apply it to your highest interest rate credit card.

Another example is that in the summer, your electricbill may beless, if in North America, so earmark that freed up money to pay down a credit card or save for the August sales of childrens back to school clothing and items, if you have school age children. This will save you money in the end, which could be applied somewhere.

Give A Compliment, Show You Care

Think of genuine compliments you can give to others. Complimenting others often gives them a lift and in return, it shows you feel confident in yourself.

So here are a few examples: That was clever of you, good job, the color of what they are wearing suits them, I appreciate you. It does not have to be long and drawn out. Just point out something good.

Ask about how things are going and really listen. People will remember the feelings they get of someone really caring about them, and will in turn show you more respect as well.

Focus On Your Strengths

Figure out what your strengths are and focus on them. Incorporate them into what you are doingwhen possible. This will help you feel like you are excelling and are good at what you do.

For many, they think it is all an uphill battle or struggle to makeimprovement.You on the other hand, can continue to feel good about yourself while you make improvements.

Work On Your Health

Take a look at your health. Is it good, fair or poor? Many people dont think much about their health, until they dont have good health, are faced with a disease or are seriously over weight. Once the problems manifest to where a person notices, it can take some diligent effort to get things turned around.

Besides the physically seen symptoms, there are many who fight foggy thinking,depression or inability to concentrate. This can all be affected by ones diet, and many times can be corrected by taking out some foods from your diet and adding more of other healthier foods and good oils, such as fish oil in. See my health articles on this site.

Accept Your Imperfections

If you are a perfectionist, or had a perfectionist in your life who criticized you, it is time to let it go. These feelings and beliefslead to not starting things, not feeling you can do an adequate job or giving yourself constant criticism. It is a downward spiral. Let it all go.

Listen to your thoughts and counteract the negative thinking. Be comfortable in admitting you are imperfect in some areas. It show you that you are human. If something negative pops up often, have a counter statement worked out to tell yourself immediately. Fight the negative thinking!

Excel At What You Do

I was explaining this to my 10 year old (going on 16!) niece the other day. She wanted to do just a quick clean up of putting the dirty dishes in the dish washer and to get back to the computer, when the cupboards and kitchen stove also needed cleaning.

I pointed out to her that she needed to do her best. Do more than the minimum that was required. Do a good enough job that it impresses people (her parents in this case). She will have to hearthis lesson more than once, to get it.

This is a lesson that if learned young, will take a person far. If you have never put that into effect until now, start.

When I was a manager of a store and when I owned my businesses, I always looked for self starters, that could be given a set of instructions, they asked questions if needed and then dug in and did a good job. This attitude will take you a long ways at work.

No matter what you are doing, strive to do your best.

Be Prepared

By preparing, you can be successful. Create a to do list, look up what you will need for a project instead of winging it, or ask for directions ahead of time. Or maybe it is that you need to practice something severaltimes, such as a public speech.

Being prepared can increase your confidence and certainly makes you look better in the eyes of the people that are around you.

Do Set Goals

Sit down and write out your monthly, yearly and five years and beyond goals, as mentioned above.With goals, you will see the progress and that will help with your motivation, confidence and self esteem. So make sure to see the motivational articles on this site.

Make Time For What Makes You Happy

What makes you happy? Make time for it. If you feel like your life is out of control, this will help you feel like you have more control.It brings satisfaction and contentment, often some excitement to life.

It Is Worth It

It takes work to see self improvement, have motivation and become your personal best, but it is worth it. Check out the articles on site to assist you in becoming your best.

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July 30th, 2017 at 11:29 am

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Kieran McGeeney and the triumph of self-improvement – Irish Times

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In the days before he led Armagh to an historic All-Ireland title, Kieran McGeeney was doing his media duty and all of 15 years ago, outlined his already circumscribed existence.

You just get into a pattern. Like, Im living in one of the best cities in Europe socially for the past four years and I honestly havent seen all that much of it. But I wouldnt swap it, really. You make your choices and Im happy with mine.

At the time he was working in the Irish Sports Council in Dublin, commuting relentlessly to training back in his home county with a dedication that struck a chord with his ISC colleague John Treacy, a man well drilled in the lonely protocols of distance running.

He just gives himself to it, he said to Keith Duggan in these pages, and is equally selfless in his work but his devotion to football is staggering.

Even in his much-publicised hobby, Brazilian ju-jitsu, which he has practised for several years in the Straight Blast Gym under the supervision of Conor McGregors trainer John Kavanagh, who described McGeeney as probably one of the most intense human beings Ive ever met, he registers the same impact.

Three years ago, when a selector with Armagh, he was asked to become involved with the Tipperary hurlers under Eamon OShea, as a performance coach. It didnt turn out to be a long-term association but Samus Callanan, short-listed for Hurler of the Year in each of the seasons since, spoke in 2015 about the influence.

He was a massive benefit to me and gave me great confidence and a great sense that I could work on my own visualisation and mentality towards whats going on. It was very, very helpful.

McGeeney returns to Croke Park on Saturday, probably the centre of attention because the team he manages, Armagh, face the county he used to manage, Kildare. He wont like any such fanfare and this season, having served a 12-week suspension uncharacteristic for someone who has a good disciplinary record going back to his playing days for verbally abusing a match official, McGeeney has been quiet, leaving interviews to his deputy Patrick McKeever.

There was always a contradiction about his dealings with the media. It was something that he always appeared to prefer avoiding but until now he rarely dodged the post-match rituals and when he spoke, he did so engagingly. Essentially though he is a private individual who sees football as primarily the business of those kicking the ball.

When he went to Kildare and there was a certain amount of adulation he would have been uneasy with that, says his predecessor as Armagh captain, Jarlath Burns.

I remember in a team talk, I said, lads out there, theres boys from all your clubs and all the townlands of Armagh. Boys from Armagh city, from Lurgan. Families from Portadown and Crossmaglen. Think of all those people. This is who were fighting for . . .

Afterwards when we were having a bite he sat down beside me and said, I thought your team talk was rubbish. The only people Im thinking about is the man right next to me, the man who if I drop the ball comes in and rescues it, or the man if someone hits me will fucking hit him. See the boy in Row Z with his popcorn and Diet Coke, Ive nothing in common with him.

You know, he was right. It is all about the man whos right beside you and running out beside you and wearing the orange jersey. Its not about the person in the stand; it never is.

Management looks as if it was his destiny given a playing career of dogged self-improvement, developing into leadership and captaincy but it wasnt always that straightforward.

He didnt really engage with anyone. I remember going on trips and he wouldnt have a drink with you. He didnt want to let anyone in on him, recalls Brian Canavan, who, as joint-manager with Brian McAlinden, appointed McGeeney.

He was young enough to become captain and had a few raw edges. The players really looked up to him. Sometimes I wondered, were they afraid of him because he really was driven but you have to be able to listen as well as lead. As the years went by he became more that type of person.

He needed to work on his game and he grew into that centre half back position just as he grew into being a captain. Its not just what you say but what you do that makes a captain, I think. That point he scored to put us ahead against Kerry two minutes into injury-time [2000 All-Ireland semi-final replay against Kerry] was the type of leadership we were looking for.

Just as he had to grow into both an outstanding player and a captain, he also became an exceptionally good international rules player despite misgivings that he lacked the essential mobility for the game. It was another triumph of self-improvement, according to Brian McEniff, who managed him at provincial level and in his time as coach of Irelands international rules team.

He was the most driven player I came across, says McEniff. I remember in 2001 when we were going to Australia he said he was going to America and I said, Kieran youll have no chance of making the squad if you go away. What you do is go off and learn how to kick with that left foot. By the time we got to Australia I can remember in the second Test he was pinging balls 40 yards with his left.

When Joe Kernan took over as Armagh manager for 2002, the meeting of minds with McGeeney was a keystone of the All-Ireland success, but relations cooled in later years when Kernan famously replaced his captain in the closing minutes of the 2005 All-Ireland semi-final against Tyrone. In his first year as Armagh manager, McGeeney caused controversy when allowing Kernans son Aaron to walk away from the county panel.

The episode with Aaron wouldnt have helped Kieran so early in his management, says Canavan. He was probably Armaghs best player when he was let go.

Another thing that hasnt helped is that his success with Kildare perhaps inflated expectations in his own county. That six-year term saw Kildare reach the All-Ireland quarter-finals for the first time and keep returning until his last championship making the last four in 2010 when they lost narrowly to Down.

It was also a tenure with plenty of controversy, not all of it by any means McGeeneys fault. There were refereeing decisions that individually were at least debatable and cumulatively constituted sufficient misfortune to interest Thomas Hardy; the resignation of a county chair, Pdraig Ashe, with whom the manager had clashed; and the attempt to acquire Cavan forward Sen Johnston, which ran like a situation comedy through the summer of 2012.

The final controversy came in 2013 when McGeeney walked away after failing to secure what he felt was adequate backing from the county board.

Despite this, one of his predecessors as Kildare manager, Pdraig Nolan, says that the period in question is very fondly remembered in the county.

There were five summers of getting to quarter-finals, which was unheard of, so McGeeneys years would be very fondly remembered and theyd be fairly close to being viewed in the same category as Mick ODwyers years, in the sense that there was excitement every summer. Leinster might have been a disappointment but we got through the qualifiers every year and there was the buzz of all that.

He believes that personality conflict was at the root of most of the problems, including the resignation of Pdraig Ashe and the rows about club access to county players.

That happened at the end but the funny thing is that the template Kildare are using now is the same as was in place under McGeeney. I think the end came because of personalities. He didnt make friends for the sake of making friends and that told in the end.

If the chairman resigns, its hard to blame the manager.

To sum it up, you couldnt but give him credit. He did a very good job with a very workmanlike team. How I compare it is that Johnny Doyle was the only player on that team who you would have said would get on the top teams, whereas with the present team you pick out three or four players who would be competing for a place on any of the top teams.

The consensus is that he has an even less imposing hand in Armagh and in his third year, the county are still in Division Three and again fell at the championships first hurdle but the qualifiers have produced three straight wins and a return to Croke Park for the first time in three years.

Saturdays outcome will determine perceptions as to whether progress is being made with the team but Jarlath Burns points out that Kieran McGeeney has always gained the approbation of any managers primary audience.

The first people you look in relation to that are the players. Ive never heard any player come even close to dissidence and when they were beaten by Down the feeling in the dressingroom was, we let Geezer down. Not everyone has the ability to get that level of loyalty.

He would keep his cards close to his chest. Not many really know him. Hes a very private person but with that, hes a very genuine fella and very generous too.

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Kieran McGeeney and the triumph of self-improvement - Irish Times

Written by grays

July 30th, 2017 at 11:29 am

Posted in Self-Improvement

GET A LIFE: Quest for self-improvement shouldn’t be stressful – Wicked Local Mattapoisett

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By Loretta LaRocheMore Content Now

My grandmother was a square, stout little woman. She wasn't obese, she wasn't even really fat. But she was soft. Every now and then she might have gotten on the scale and she'd say "Ahh! How'd those five pounds get there?" But that didn't change the way she felt about herself. She kept going, and she made her macaroni, and stuffed everything in sight including peas. Maybe she'd eat a little less to make up for those five pounds. But she felt good about who she was and her place in the world. Five extra pounds on the scale was not a life or death issue.

It's hard to believe, but her world was so different. Yes, that's a big DUH! She did not aspire to look like anyone else since movies, magazines and television were not yet a huge part of the culture. She and her immediate community of friends and family were not barraged with constant information that led them to believe something was wrong with them. They weren't assaulted with marketing techniques that made them feel deformed for having a little cellulite, or that they should check into therapy if they felt like having fried eggs for breakfast.

Now we are given the hardcore facts behind everything. We can find out what our body-fat ratio ought to be, we can discover what disorders we might be prone to, and we have gadgets that can inform us of every bodily function. Virtually every message sent to us by the media and by the marketing of almost every product for sale in America is that "you can improve yourself."

Many people, in their quest for self-improvement, have become so dreadfully serious and stressed out and dull that they're losing what's most important about life. Fun! Connection! Pleasure! Excitement! How many times have you heard people go on and on about what they ate today? The fat police: "I ate a slice of pizza at lunch, I just can't believe it!"

Why can't they believe it? Did they somehow suffer amnesia immediately after they swallowed their last bite? Then they have to tell you they're going to have to work out twice as hard to rid themselves of the pizza slice. PLEASE! Just stop! I often want to respond by saying " I ate everything in site and it made me so happy!"

We all have faults, neuroses, physical imperfections and psychological quirks. That's what makes you unique. If you want to change, try to consider that changing behaviors involves complex interactions between genes, chemistry and lifestyle. Self-improvement should not be a prison sentence, but one that builds toward a happier, healthy life. And please don't become overly serious about it. Do it with a sense of humor and above all try to make it fun.

- Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth, MA 02360. Visit her website at

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GET A LIFE: Quest for self-improvement shouldn't be stressful - Wicked Local Mattapoisett

Written by grays

July 30th, 2017 at 11:29 am

Posted in Self-Improvement

Letter of Recommendation: Duolingo – New York Times

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By the time I finally fell asleep that night, I had completed the initial branches in the Dutch course tree. I could read useful phrases like Goedemorgen, hoe gaat het? (Good morning, how are you?) and useless ones like De neushoorn heeft een hoorn en een staart (The rhinoceros has a horn and a tail). The next day, I caught myself wading through the spiteful comments on a gossip blog and stopped to practice Dutch plurals instead.

The app eventually became a type of productive therapy, replacing other time-wasters in my life. Cant sleep? Lets learn more Dutch. In the mood to text an ex? Maybe I should start the Danish course instead. Fighting the urge to tweet that ill-thought-out opinion on current events? Youll feel so much better reviewing Dutch prepositions.

I liked how structured it was, that I could measure my progress in terms of winning points and completing levels and outdoing my friends. I am a frustratingly left-brained person: I take comfort in things that can be quantified. But more than that, though the points gave me a sort of rush similar to getting a stack of Instagram likes, it never felt like an empty thrill. I had finally committed to a self-improvement project, and every time I leveled up in a language, I felt I was one step closer to fluency. I became obsessed.

Six months later, I was at a street festival in Toronto. I walked by a booth where a woman was selling stroopwafels, and I overheard what I hadnt yet heard outside Duolingo: Dutch. I was only a few lessons away from finishing my course. I approached the booth, eager to try out what Id learned. Hoe gaat het? I said, suddenly aware of my heavy Canadian accent warping the words. She just stared straight back at me and said: Excuse me? I quickly shuffled away.

Learning a language to fluency requires discipline, frequent practice, ideally immersion much more than a simple language-learning game can offer. Thats fine, though. Fluency stopped being my goal a while ago, when I realized that trying to master several different foreign languages in the span of a few months would only be another stress-inducing, insurmountable project, exactly the sort of thing that led me to seek distractions in the first place. More than anything, though, Duolingo made me confident in my decision-making I had good taste in bad ways to spend my time.

Any online time-waster offers an escape from the world, often by preying on your worst instincts: envy, pettiness, poor impulse control. But Duolingo offered an escape that made me feel connected to the better parts of the world, and of myself. I may not have become a globe-trotting polyglot, but language learning did trigger a curiosity into other lives lived. My phone hadnt made me a better person, exactly, but at least it didnt make me worse.

It took me about two weeks to make it through the Swedish course earlier this year helped, of course, by never having to speak it out loud. To celebrate, I found a stream of The Devils Eye, the film by Ingmar Bergman. Five minutes in, I realized I couldnt understand a word they were saying. I turned on English subtitles and watched the rest of the movie, phone comfortably in hand.

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Letter of Recommendation: Duolingo - New York Times

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July 30th, 2017 at 11:29 am

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HostBlast.Net – Low cost web hosting starting at $0.50

Posted: July 30, 2016 at 1:42 am

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HostBlast offers cheapest and the most reliable web hosting plans that you will ever find on the Internet. Hosting over 600,000 domains, we guarantee 99.9% uptime and 100% satisfaction with our services. There is no extra cost or risk. If you are in search of a perfect web hosting then you are already on the correct website. All Hosting packages are optimized for WordPress Hosting. WordPress is invaluable web software (CMS) that allows you to create either a website or a blog (or both) in very little time. Install WordPress with a click of a button at HostBlast! WordPress is so accepted on the Web that search engines have special algorithms to catalog WordPress sites.

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July 30th, 2016 at 1:42 am

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John Kreiter | Self-Improvement and Interesting Knowledge

Posted: July 18, 2016 at 6:43 pm

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Self-improvement is not easy. With the explosion of self-help books and the self-help movement, many believe that self-improvement is impossible; that it is really a type of scam that people fall for. These individuals would have you believe that any kind of self-improvement is beyond the average person and that there is no real way to change the basic self.

But the need for self-improvement is an inherent need within all of us. Self-improvement is possible, its just that most people are not willing to make the decisions required to truly change and grow as individuals. I believe that many assume that in order to improve the self you need to fight against the current, that you must make a great effort of will or else change is will not happen. In this site you will find that this is not the case, that in order to better yourself, all you need to do is to create an achievable goal and follow the natural inclinations of the self.

As a species we are continually growing. Most of this growth has been achieved through unconscious processes. We grow and develop without the need for us to consciously think about this growth and development. But things have changed!

The human species has begun to take conscious control of its evolution and self growth. The self-improvement movement represents that innate need inside all of us to grow as individuals and to expand our capabilities.

Future Evolution = Conscious Evolution = Self-Improvement

Self-improvement is achievable, it requires:

In this site you will discover how to understand your true desires, so that you can discover your real motivations and discover the path that will bring you the most joy.

Through personal self-improvement, we begin to grow, develop, and evolve. As we grow and develop as individuals, we also participate in the growth and development of our species. We are all together in this, the self-improvement revolution is that innate drive within all of us to begin to take conscious control of our evolution.

I recommend that you bookmark this site, browse around in The Best of section, and use the Search box at the top of the site to find particular information using keywords.

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John Kreiter | Self-Improvement and Interesting Knowledge

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July 18th, 2016 at 6:43 pm

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Mind Power and Self Improvement Tips: Mind Cafe

Posted: April 30, 2016 at 7:42 am

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When you were growing up, you were probably reprimanded on multiple occasions to share with siblings, friends, cousins and others while you played. It was so easy to want to keep your precious toys close to you and not let anyone else touch them. Sure, the other kids probably wouldnt hurt your toys, but the toys were important to you. When you are grown, those early lessons of self improvement you learned stick with you, making it difficult for you to be selfish as an adult.

In general, it isnt good to be selfish. It makes you feel good to share what you have with others who need it. For instance, if a coworker comes to you and asks for help with a project, you could say no because you have your own work. However, you drop what you are doing and help your coworker because he was nice enough to ask. Your own work might suffer a little, but you would feel far too guilty if you left your coworker hanging.

Despite the positives of not being selfish, you can also benefit from being selfish, at least some of the time. If you have ever talked to someone about self improvement, you may have heard that putting yourself first is important too. You dont need to always put everyone else before your own needs and desires. In fact, if you do, you are far more likely to find that people are taking advantage of you. You deserve to be happy and have your needs met too.

When you put yourself first, you will feel more confident and can lead a happier life. You dont need to turn others down all the time, but you deserve to be treated as a person as well. Therefore, when someone makes a request from you, take a little time to consider that request and then make a decision. Weigh out the pros and cons of helping that person with their request against denying it. For instance, if you go back to the coworker example, the project your coworker needs help with is due next week; however, the project you are working on is due tomorrow. It would be much better to say no and finish your project first.

Putting your own needs first can be hard for some people. You may be trained to always put others needs before your own as an act of kindness. Through self improvement techniques, you can learn when it is okay to say no and when it is okay to say yes. You should never sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of someone else, even if it means hurting someone elses feelings.

In the end, your happiness is in your own hands. If you dont focus on self improvement and learning the difference between being selfish in a bad way and being selfish in a good way, you may find yourself taken advantage of by everyone around you. From coworkers to family, you may find that it is so difficult to say no, you end up overextending yourself and ultimately sacrificing your own satisfaction.

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Mind Power and Self Improvement Tips: Mind Cafe

Written by admin

April 30th, 2016 at 7:42 am

Posted in Self-Improvement

MenProvement | Self Improvement For Men

Posted: April 29, 2016 at 7:46 am

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April 29th, 2016 at 7:46 am

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