Joaquin Phoenix targeted the British Academy Film Awards' embarrassing lack of diversity while accepting the Leading Actor award for his role in Joker a film that has been criticised for its depiction of white terrorism.

Acknowledging that the BAFTAs had been supportive of his career, this being his fourth nomination, Phoenix said he felt "conflicted" because non-white actors weren't afforded the same privilege.

"I think that we send a very clear message to people of colour that you're not welcome here," said Phoenix, who beat out fellow all-white nominees Leonardo DiCaprio, Adam Driver, Taron Egerton, and Jonathan Pryce.

Phoenix also acknowledged that he was "part of the problem", having failed to push for inclusivity in his own projects. Though he fell short of committing to visible, measurable steps to rectifying this, it at least indicated some self-awareness.

"I think that we really have to do the hard work to truly understand systemic racism. I think that it is the obligation of the people that have created and perpetuate and benefit from a system of oppression to be the ones that dismantle it. So that's on us," finished Phoenix as the room full of rich white people looked sad and applauded.

It's a good sentiment, but also one that's been repeated for years. It'd be nice if people actually started doing something.

Jojo Rabbit director Taika Waititi also gave a nod to Britain's historic racial issues in his acceptance speech for Adapted Screenplay. "Coming from the colonies, we know it's been a hard week for you guys. It's been very nice to take a little bit of your gold back home. Where it belongs."

Continued here:
Joaquin Phoenix and Taika Waititi reminded everyone about racism at the BAFTAs - Mashable SE Asia

Illustration by Rachel Wada

First Person is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story to tell? See our guidelines at tgam.ca/essayguide.

Dads been calling.

Usually he calls my brother, but, sometimes, the calls come in the night and even my brother gets to turn his phone off once in a while. Im awake, in my distant time zone, and I answer, honestly grateful for a chance to save my brother just one drop of this waterfall of misery.

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"Where's your mom?! I've looked all over the house, I can't find her anywhere."

Dad's pretty much deaf. Only yelling will be enough to move my answer across the ocean between us.

"MOM DIED, DAD."

How do stage actors project their voices with sombre and serious tones? I cannot. At high volumes, I can only sound angry or impossibly cheerful, like I'm running a morbid puppet show for children. And I only want to say it once, otherwise we will slip into a very dark Abbott and Costello routine.

"Oh."

Strangely, he doesnt usually crumble at the news. It's possible, at some cellular level, he already knows.

The news does awaken a tortured moment of self-awareness and, with it, some understandable panic. What the hell is wrong with me? This is hard. Theres no explanation he will understand and even if he could, nothing would help.

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You just need some sleep, Dad.

Did you come? This one, at least, is easy. Yes. I came, on a flight from Zurich, through Reykjavik, to Calgary. My brother, who still lives in Canada, has shouldered almost all of the burden of caring for our ailing parents. When I arrived, I was at least able to help a little draft an obituary, get the hospital bed out of the living room, sign some legal documents but mostly I sat with Dad.

Did we have a decent funeral for her at least? This one is trickier. We did not. Mom was quietly cremated; her ashes are in a pretty urn just down the hall from Dad. He probably saw her in his search of the house. This is the only time I nearly lie. I mean, whats the harm in letting him think we had a grand ceremony?

His initial request for a big funeral had surprised and terrified my brother and me. Funeral plans had never been discussed, and it had never occurred to us that Mom would have wanted something elaborate. After her own parents died, Mom had instructed my brother and I to bury their ashes in the backyard. We planted a tree on top, but it died. I dont suppose that counts as a decent funeral?

Mom and Dad were a vibrant couple. They had lots of wonderful friends. But hardly anything has survived their last couple decades of self-destruction. The idea that my brother and I would have to engage in a protracted pantomime, of pretending that any of this was normal, while also having to repeatedly explain the unexplainable to lots of concerned strangers, made me want to bolt.

No, Dad, we didnt.

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"Oh. I feel awful."

I know, Dad, its really sad, Im sorry.

"How did she die?"

This is the worst one. A dark and bitter part of me wants to say, she drank herself to death, but thats just pointless cruelty. And its not entirely true. Over decades, Mom catastrophically eroded her physical and mental health with a steady routine of smoking, drinking and barely eating. A particularly insidious feature of alcoholism is that with enough drinking, you can damage your brain to the point that even if you wanted to quit drinking, even if you had an utter and complete moment of clarity and saw God and fully and completely committed to treatment, you can forget all of this a few moments later while sipping your next whiskey.

Not that Mom, as far as I know, ever had doubts. She was righteous to the end.

She was, undeniably, a remarkable woman. She built and ran a successful accounting practice. As one of the very few women in her field when she started out, she must have experienced no end of sexism. She was so matter of fact and quietly talented about it, though, that when I was first introduced to the concept of unequal opportunities for women in school, I was genuinely confused.

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She was tiny and tough as nails. After breaking her thumb skiing, she wore the cast for a few weeks, but then decided enough was enough and convinced Dad to saw the cast off in our basement. (If youre wondering, I was an anxious and sensible child who found this incident flatly terrifying. The sight of a Dremel saw still makes me shiver.) Of course, she woke up in agony and had to go to the doctor and ask her to, pretty please, put the cast back on. I like to think she was sheepish, but, honestly, this is my mom Im talking about.

The last time I saw her, before she died, she was mad at me. I have no idea why, although her anger was quick and common. She glared at me from her hospital bed with alarming ferocity, as if nothing would have pleased her more than to see me incinerated on the spot. How could a five foot tall, bedridden woman, who weighed less than my 9-year-old still command such terror? I managed a cheerful goodbye and a hug before giving my legs permission to bolt.

None of this can be shouted into a phone in short phrases. She had been sick for long time, Dad! How does my brother get through these calls in his open-plan office?

Silence.

So, are you still coming to visit us for Christmas?

Dad Im so sorry, Mom isnt there anymore

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I know. I know shes gone. But it will always be us in my heart, I think.

Were still coming for Christmas, Dad. Were looking forward to it.

Great.

Silence.

Can we have ham for Christmas dinner? Your mom hated ham.

Paula Ramsay lives in Lucerne, Switzerland.

See the original post here:
Dad forgets Mom died, but sometimes thats a blessing - The Globe and Mail

Getty

This time of year, many are establishing goals and plotting their course for the new year and the decade ahead. But in their quest for career growth, they may have ignored the one factor hiding in plain sight: how, where, and from whom they derive their energy.

Though it may seem inconsequential, your energy powers all that you do. When youve filled your tank with energy, that fuel helps propel you to leave your comfort zone and tackle new challenges. It gives you that extra boost to go after your dreams and persevere, even when the going gets tough.

Making career progress becomes exponentially more difficult when youre operating from a place of low energy. It negatively affects your mood, your drive, and can leave you feeling unmotivated and uninspired.

Knowing how, where, and from whom you obtain your energy can make the difference between a career that soars and one that stagnates. Heres how to identify your sources of positive energyand fix those that are notto create an environment of career success:

Tap into yourself-awarenessto home in on your feelings about where you spend your time, what youre doing, and with whom. Maybe youll notice that you seem to be more productive in a favorite coffee shop rather than in your cubicle. Or perhaps youll observe that you feel a sense of flow in creative activities but seem to dread repetitive or detail-oriented tasks. And you might be surprised to learn that you leave every conversation with a particular colleague feeling pumped up yet deflated after interacting with another. This can be especially important to note when youreempatheticand tend to absorb the energy of others.

We all have people, places, and activities that either bolster us or bog us down; its wise to get to know how each makes us feel.

Once youve gotten into the habit of payingattentionto the elements of your careerenvironment(which includes your friends, colleagues, location, patterns, and lifestyle), youll begin to see that they impact you far morefor better or for worsethan you realize.

Ask yourself these two questions to better assess if your career environment is helping you grow or holding you back:

Who is in my top five?

Jim Rohn famously said, Youre the average of the five people you spend time with.

Rohns assertion was rooted in the law of averages, which is the theory that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes, and suggests that the five people youre around the most shape you.

Said another way, when youre trying to grow into the person you hope to be, its helpful to surround yourself with people who demonstrate those qualities you aspire to achieve.

Where do I hang out, and what do I do while there?

Its not just thewho, but also thewhat, that you surround yourself with that can either propel you forwardor hold you back.

Where are the top five places where you spend your time? For most, this includes an office and home base, as well as additional locales: commuting in your car or on the train; the gym or a bar; networking events or your sofa; walking through a park or surfing the internet.

Consider, too, your habits and lifestyle: are you intentionally placing yourself in situations and locations that spark growth? Or have you fallen (perhaps unconsciously, out of fear) into a stagnant comfort zone of the familiar but uninspiring?

Ideally, you want to surround yourself with those who inspire you, are passionate and enthusiastic, and are motivated, grateful, and open-minded. These people might include mentors from whom you can learn new skills, colleagues who cheer you on when you get discouraged, or friends who hold you accountable to your goals. Having positive, encouraging people who lift you up and support your dreams will dramatically improve your chances for career progress.

Conversely, if your environment contains negative people threatened by your choices, youll have a much harder time trying to make let alone maintainsignificant change. Make a point to eliminate (or significantly reduce the amount of time you spend with) energy vampires that suck the life right out of you, leaving you feeling empty and uninspired.

Likewise, no place or activity is inherently good or bad, but you should pay attention to how you feel while youre within those spots and doing those things, and note if that feeling changes when you leave them or stop doing them. Are you motivated or drained? If its the latter, and you want to make progress, somethings gotta give; itstime to make a change.

Real career growth happens when we understand whom and what energizes us and best supportswhat we want, and then align ourselves with those people and places that do.

View original post here:
How To SpotAnd FixThe Most Overlooked Factor In Your Career Growth - Forbes

Here are a few 'tools' that you may want in your professional kit.

Not long ago, there wasnt much complexity involved in mapping an organisations structure. Organisations slid into ready templates as easily as a knife into a scabbard. With the increasing complexity of the business environment challenging them to be more agile, organisations now assume rather unusual shapes during their lifetime just to address emerging situations. What does this mean for employees? Kannan Hariharan, former senior director, human resources, PepsiCo India, who is now associated with social enterprises, says it means resilience and agility have become indispensable.

Kannan explains, Those are two abilities any employee would do well to carry into 2020. Companies are changing the way they do business. Organisations are changing the way they are structured. In this climate, an employee cant afford to be fixated on how they would want to work. Certain skills are required to work in a matrix organisation. Working in a global organisation will come with its own demands. New technology ushers in new ways of working. Resilience and agility are two abilities that are absolutely necessary to navigate this VUCA business environment.

Naresh Purushotham, co-founder, Crestcom India, believes that most professionals procrastinate over issues that are important because there is no need to deal with them immediately. They let things slide till they are forced to attend to it, and sometimes, they realise to their chagrin that they are well past the golden hour. In his book First Things First, Stephen Covey discussed the four quadrants of time management in the context of work that comes with varying degrees of urgency and importance. Quadrant I (urgent and important) and Quadrant III (urgent but not important) are where we expend most of our time, because they are external reminders pushing us to attend to them. Quadrant II (not urgent but important) is the most ignored, because usually, the motivation has to come from within.

Naresh gives two examples of how we fail to live in Quadrant II, professionally.

We may not ask ourselves How do I reinvent my leadership style? as we are not threatened in any manner, in the present. Let us take the question of performance appraisal. There is the option of making it proactive, by not waiting to do it only at the end of the year. Every quarter, managers can provide their team members with feedback about their performance in the previous quarter, and directions on how to work in the next quarter. Doing so allows team members to make course corrections. If a culture of informal performance appraisals is built into a team's functioning, there won't be any surprises at the end of the year.

Though workplace conflicts are commonplace, efforts to develop the skills necessary to resolve them are rare.

Vidhya Srinivasan, adjunct faculty and advisor, XIME Chennai, believes the ability to universalise the conflict so as to take the sting out of it, and listen empathetically can help defuse tension in the workplace, and make for a happy and engaged team.

Vidhya explains, Universalise conflicts by creating empathy about the issue. Conflicts often lead to burnout so being inquisitive, asking questions, listening deeply helps to keep the attention on the other person and focus on what is being said. Understanding another perspective builds trust and influence. One participant described how sharpening his empathic listening skills has enabled him to foster greater collaboration with his colleagues. His response de-escalated the conflict and led to a healthy, less stressful conversation.

A culture of learning can make an organisation competition-ready, as it can adapt to any changes that new market realities may impose on it. K.S. Raja Rajasekar, deputy general manager, human resources, KONE India, says organisations should seek to promote a culture of learning at every level of their workforce, even if it may sometimes mean welcoming the possibility of failure.

In learning, there is no hierarchical factor.

There are only two kinds of employees: the learner and the non-learner, who will be characterised by a progressive mindset and a fixed mindset respectively. Leadership competence is centred around humility, which is about the ability to learn from everyone, says Raja Rajasekar.

With the world shrinking considerably, working with distributed teams will become the norm. In such a working environment, employees will have to make sense of culturally diverse situations far too often, and respond appropriately.

If you are looking to add a super-strategic skill to your armoury in 2020, you just cant go wrong with cultural intelligence! We live in a world today that is not only incredibly diverse, but also one where our identity is linked to socio-cultural anchors. You can take me out of Chennai, but you can never take Madras out of me! The ability of individuals, teams and businesses to be mindful of the varying cultures around them and respond with understanding, respect and inclusiveness is what one would call cultural intelligence. How do we build this skill? Simple. Read up on people, habits, customs and traditions. Interact with people who are very different from you. Develop an attitude of acceptance, rather than tolerance. Add a dash of friendly humour and voila, you will display cultural intelligence!" says Saundarya Rajesh, founder-president, Avtar Group.

In this VUCA world, the speed of operations can be so intense that one day blends into another, with no distinguishable difference between the two. Self-awareness is one of the casualties in this situation. However, ironically in the VUCA world with challenges coming from many quarters, being self-aware becomes extremely important, especially in the context of leadership.

We have to practise pausitivity. When our work is punctuated with meaningful and purposeful pauses, there will be greater self-awareness. If employees are to be reflective, the output in their work will be higher, says Naresh.

Without the transformative power of a reflective mind, an experience will be just an experience: It cant turn into a lesson. Journaling can be a handy tool in a leaders or any professionals toolkit, as it can help them put their work in perspective and make necessary changes.

There is an increasing number of HR professionals who believe in technological tools that can help employees take care of themselves, and their organisations to assess individual performance on a daily basis. Shradha Puri, corporate head, human resources, Hitachi Systems Micro Clinic, says In todays fast-paced world, there are huge demands, especially on our time, and in the process of meeting them, we often neglect our health. A personal health app that monitors our physical and psychological well-being, by reminding us about the breaks we need to take during a work-day, will be a great workplace ally to have. In our organisation, we are in talks with those who can make such an app for our organisation. Our interest in such an app is driven by our awareness of the benefits resulting from using a customised resource-management app that has been tracking employees daily productivity levels.

Artificial Intelligence tools can study continuous engagement of employees through a method that cuts out a laborious and boring feedback and processing mechanism, says Poonam Sharma, global organisation development head, Alkem Laboratories Ltd. The cloud-based AI tool can be put in employees mobiles and laptops. It will call the employee for feedback, and if the employee specifies a different time, it will call back then. Having an analysis done on the basis of the feedback is easier. Using some cloud-based tools will help the analyst arrive at the right picture. One doesnt have to sit on an Excel sheet, says Poonam.

It should all begin with a career map marked by actionable steps, between the dream and the destination, says R. Sridhar, founder, IDEAS-RS, and this is how he explains it: There are three questions one has to ask. One, what would I like happening in my career in 2020? Two, what is currently happening in that context? Three, what should I change or what should I do differently, do more of, or less of, to get where I want. Anybody can do this. It will give a roadmap to 2020. Everybody has a dream, but most of them dont do anything about it. They had a dream in 2019 and in 2020, it remains a dream. They start and stop with the dream, and they don't follow the next steps.

Read more:
Nine things every professional would need in 2020 - The Hindu

Aaron Judge has had the best selling jersey in baseball for three straight seasons. Mike Trout is the most talented player most of us have ever seen. Juan Soto had a star-making World Series run with the Nationals. Baseball is flush with dynamic, exciting players, and yet the biggest star of them all may be budding in the Bronx.

Over the past two winters, Gerrit Cole has come into his own, both as a pitcher and a really famous one. His signing with the New York Yankees, the most recognizable and successful brand in North American sports, straps a rocket to his own brand and, in my view, catapults him into the conversation for the biggest superstar in the game.

There are a few qualities that go into making a star player, and the first is on-field performance. Cole has that in spades, redefining what a dominant pitcher looks like in this era of baseball. A sizable contract is more of a signal of a star than an inherent quality, but Coles got that too.

There also needs to be a certain chip on a guys shoulder, to engender the kind of emotional reaction fans need to rally behind, or in opposition to, a star player - Judge playing New York, New York in Boston during the ALDS or Juan Sotos shimmy in the box, that sort of thing. Cole made headlines after the World Series by sporting a Boras Corp hat rather than the conventional Astros cap, the exact type of flash that inspires praise and silly condemnation in response, a crucial element of stardom.

The last ingredient in a star is a certain level of self-awareness. Stars know theyre stars - its impossible to not be aware youre one of the absolute best at your job, or to not see your jersey worn by thousands at a stadium. Yet self-awareness is often the most difficult tool for a star to fashion; and often is the difference between stars and villains. Derek Jeter and David Ortiz were incredibly self-aware as players, while Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds werent. The differences in perception between these players, despite the villains being objectively better baseball players, boils down in a lot of ways to that level of self-awareness.

I think thats what struck me most about learning more about Gerrit Cole; he genuinely seems to understand himself as a person and how he fits in the wider spectrum of baseball. This is a guy who bet on himself by telegraphing he wouldnt sign after being drafted out of high school, who went to the Houston Astros with eyes and mind wide open to changing, and talks about the game in a way that few players do:

Coles helped out a lot by his particular role in baseball. Starting pitchers are often the main character of a baseball game, dominating the pregame conversations, the focus of almost every camera closeup, and a pitchers performance will often dictate how we talk about the results of a game. Position players may play every day, but as weve seen with Mike Trout, the best of them all may only touch the ball once a game. Great starters have always been a vehicle to drive the conversations around baseball, and Coles no exception.

I said before, both on these pages and in private, that acquiring Cole has been my favorite Yankee move in ages, even more than Giancarlo Stanton. Theres nobody better in the game right now, and nobody that better suits what the Yankees need. Theres also nobody better fitted to become the biggest star in baseball - Cole perfectly balances on-field dominance with the behavior fans gravitate toward. My expectations for him are sky-high, and I cant believe were so far from spring training.

See original here:
Gerrit Cole is poised to become baseballs biggest star with the Yankees - Pinstripe Alley

The "Couch Dance"

In Jagged Little Pill, she's a member of the incredibly dancy chorus, though she's featured prominently in Act II's "couch dance," in which Lang embodies Elizabeth Stanley's Mary Jane, a seemingly perfect Connecticut mother and wife, who's consumed by her addiction to prescription pills. In the scene, she overdoses on opioids in her home. That's when Lang appears from behind the couch wearing Mary Jane's same black pants and denim shirt. Set to Morissette's haunting "Uninvited," Lang's limp body slides along, around and off the couch, sometimes interacting with Mary Jane who is eventually found unconscious on the floor.

Lang, who's in her mid-30s, describes the movement as "liquid, falling, release" and "a full surrender." Her mastery of the scene becomes all the more impressive when you learn that she had a hip replacement nine month ago. "That sort of fluidity, and with my background, age and experience, it's where I feel most comfortable," says Lang. "The show's more hard-hitting and get-your-legs-up stuff, which I used to be so good at in my 20s, is harder."

Shape-Shifting Throughout the Show

How does she shift between such different modes of dancing, and tap into the headspace of Mary Jane, as well as another character, a teen named Bella who's dealing with sexual trauma? "I track both of those characters through the show. You'll notice little parts where I'm standing behind Mary Jane. That gives me information that then serves me later."

Lang also credits her study of acting for helping her to connect with a difficult emotion quickly. "That's a practice and something I've really worked on. There are little things that help me: The chord progression in 'Uninvited' is so damn spooky. Every night I hear that, I have imagery, an inner landscape going on. And the minute that I look at Mary Jane, I enter that space, like, 'Boom. I'm here.'

"That's what's so exciting about being a dancer. You're able to mold and meld like you're a shape-shifter. There's so much joy in that."

But now, Lang is a mother who plays a mother in the "couch dance." "Being a mom is so deeply profound," she says. "All I know is I want to give any character I play, but especially MJ, as much complexity as possible. Being a mom is so layered. It's beautiful, powerful, life-changing, challenging, grueling, not valued, sometimes disgusting, magical, ambivalent, boring, beyond fun. It's all the things!"

As for what's next in Lang's career, she says, "I try not to get too boxed in. We love labels in our culture, but I think most dancers are actually quite versatile. We have the capacity to do all kinds of things, and I have to be honest: I just love dance. I love performing."

She hopes to bring Cherkaoui and Paulus' spirit of rigor and generosity to her own work. "I want to continue to create that environment for others."

See original here:
This Dancer Is Training the Corporate World How to Move - Dance Magazine

Editor:

I like and admire Greta Thunberg. I'm also worried about her future.

Greta is a bright and well-spoken 16 year-old girl, with documented behavioral and cognitive challenges that register on the autism scale. She meets these disadvantages with dignity and self-awareness. I consider her a victor over adversity, and a champion for others like her.

So why should I worry about her? Because I see her being fed into what I call the "Celebrity Meatgrinder."

I don't know who's handling her, coaching her, or holding her out of school. I don't know who made the decision to send her on a 15-day, 3,500 nautical-mile journey across the Atlantic Ocean through rough seas - in an open sailboat with no kitchen, shower or toilet - to attend a scientific conference and be feted like a Kardashian. I strongly suspect some people are profiting off her notoriety. Further, I doubt that her long-term interests are being served by people and groups promoting their political and/or showbiz agendas through her.

Few people - and fewer children - escape happy or whole from the "Celebrity Meatgrinder." We know how it works; they build you up, then tear you down. It starts with red carpets and magazine covers (she is now Time Magazine's 2019 "Person of the Year"), then ends with tabloids, court cases and "where are they now?"

Maybe I'm worrying over nothing. Perhaps young Greta, for all the hurdles she faces, really is the one calling the shots - a pint-sized cross between Svengali and Machiavelli. Maybe she's writing the speeches, managing the media, arranging the travel, setting up the press conferences and interviews, and leading the negotiations with book publishers.

Instead, I fear she is being used as a stage prop - a willing but perhaps too-trusting pawn in a dangerous game she may not fully understand. If so, I truly pity her manipulators.

If she wants it, I hope Greta Thunberg regains her chance to be a child, before she faces adulthood as a faded sideshow attraction.

David Christovich, Woodstock

Read the rest here:
Letter to the Editor: Concerning Greta Thunberg | Nvdaily | nvdaily.com - Northern Virginia Daily

Most believe that happiness is just a feeling you sometimes stumble upon if youre one of the lucky ones. But what if it were possible to actually unlock it and have it readily available to you by using specific keys to a happy life?

It turns out there are very specific things you can do to experience more happiness in your life. But before getting into the keys to a happy life, lets explore what happiness truly is and why its so important.

What is happiness?

Happiness is often thought of as any positive emotion.Words that people will often use to describe being happyinclude bliss, joy, gratitude, contentment, delight and enjoyment.

Yet these terms arent specific enough for happiness researchers because they want something they can measure.Researchers tend to define happiness as subjective well-being.And this means that the more satisfied people describe themselves as being along with the amount of positive emotion they experience, the greater their subjective well-being and the greater their happiness.

What this points out is that happiness is about much more than a fleeting or temporary emotion. Happiness is about the experience of more positive than negative emotions and an overall sense of satisfaction with your life.

Why being happy is important

It turns out that there are more benefits to happiness than just a general sense of feeling good.

There isscientific evidence to suggest that being happy may make you healthier.

It also suggests that youll be moresuccessful across multiple areas of your lifebesides your health. These areas include marriage, friendship, work performance, community involvement and mental health.

The same research even shows that happiness precedes many different types of success. In other words, we start to achieve more of our goals and find greater satisfaction in our lives when were happy.

Why your keys to a happy life will be uniquely yours

Whats interesting is that there isnt just one way to find happiness. Happiness, just like every other emotion is a personal experience.

Despite its personal nature, we can often recognize happiness in others just as they can recognize it in us.

The problem is there isnt a one-size-fits all formula for happiness. Thats because it is a subjective experience. What makes you happy may not make me happy.

For example, I love to find interesting bugs in my yard. Ill take pictures and watch how they behave. Im thrilled when I find one Ive not seen before. (Below is a picture of a rhinoceros beetle that I found on my back porch.)

Despite how much happiness I feel when I find an interesting bug, some of my friends arent so happy to see the pictures or hear the stories I tell about the creatures. (Maybe you dont like seeing the picture of the rhinoceros beetle either.)

Because we are all unique, what exactly brings us joy will be unique too. However, there are some similarities in what tends to bring people happiness.

What are some areas to examine to see if you can dial up your happiness?

The following seven categories capture some of the most common ways people report finding happiness.

1. Decide you want to be happyIt might sound silly, but sometimes simply deciding you want to be happy and then following that decision up with appropriate action can make you happy. It doesnt mean that youre flipping some kind of happiness switch by deciding to be happy. It does mean that youre paying attention to your thoughts and attitude. Happiness is easier to attain when you have a positive attitude and tend to be a glass half full kind of person. Its also easier when you can manage your emotions and thoughts so you can redirect them toward happiness when its appropriate. When you decide to be happy, youre taking responsibility for your happiness. Youre not letting someone else have control over whether youre feeling contentment or happiness, but if they contribute to it thats icing on the cake. Taking this responsibility on means that youre going to do whats necessary to experience more joy in your life. Youll look for ways to increase the pleasure you experience in each and every day.

2. Expect to be happyOur perceptions color everything about our experiences. Have you ever noticed that when you expect to have a bad day, you usually do? Well, the same thing happens when we expect to be happy. Positive expectations can help form our experiences into good ones. Of course, unexpected things can still happen, but when we choose to expect that well be happy we tend to gravitate toward happiness. One of the easiest ways to condition yourself to be happy is to look for joy in each day. It may be just a fleeting glimpse of a cloud that reminds you of a tree or a flower, but when you take the time every day to notice when you have a positive emotion, youll start building your expectation of happiness.

3. Be gratefulAn attitude of gratitude, practicing appreciation, and accepting what is can all influence how happy we feel.Research in positive psychologyhas verified that there is a positive association between being grateful and happiness. Part of focusing on gratitude means that youre not complaining orfocusing on worry without searching for the cause of the worryso you can resolve it. Being grateful doesnt mean that youre always on the lookout for something amazing to be thankful for. You can be thankful for the little things. You can be grateful for a good stretch, seeing someone you love smile or even just the feel of the sunlight on your face. Gratitude can also easily flow from everyday victories. Maybe you need to celebrate that you got the dishes washed or loaded in the dishwasher. Maybe its time for a high five with your puppy when they understand what Sit means. Maybe you deserve to celebrate the prospect of the day when you first open your eyes in the morning.

4. ForgiveMost get forgiveness and condoning poor behavior confused. Forgiveness is about letting go of an experience and choosing to move on from it. It is not about condoning or approving of poor behavior in any way. When we can forgive our shame, guilt, anger, resentment and any trauma we may have experienced, we tend to feel lighter and happier. Shame, guilt, anger, resentment, and trauma weigh us down and keep us from being our best. When we can accept and forgive ourselves and others for imperfection, we can be more present. And when were able to focus more on the present moment its easier to find the joy inherent in it.

5. Be ConnectedFeeling connected is empowering. And there are all kinds of ways to feel connected. You can feel connected to yourself, to others and even to the ineffable life force that flows through us all. Some call this sense of connection love. You also can feel connected to your purpose and passion. Most of us feel a great sense of contentment when were connected to our passion and purpose in life. You can achieve connectedness by increasing your self-awareness, practicing self-care, meditating, spending more time in nature and contributing to the world in some way. Eleanor Roosevelt said, Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. Happiness can be found through actively choosing to connect.

6. Be YouIts nearly impossible to be happy when you dont allow yourself to be who you truly are. When you try to mold yourself into who someone else wants you to be, or who you think you should be youre disrespecting yourself. And its pretty hard to be happy when youre disrespecting yourself and pretending to be someone youre not. When we truly embrace our imperfections and unique perspective, we become confident. Confidence then allows us to more fully explore our world and our place in it. And the exploration allows us to expand our limits and be even more fully ourselves. Think of it as a confidence-happiness cycle. As we get to know ourselves even better, we feel more confident and experience more contentment. And the more easily we can recognize our keys to a happy life.

7. Share Your HappinessHave you ever noticed that it tends to be easier to match someones emotions instead ofbringing the joy with you? But what if you do choose to share your happiness even with a smile. Doesnt that make you happier too? Sharing your happiness is one fairly easy way to expand your happiness and that of those you encounter. You can share it through a great story, a hug, a kind word, or even a smile.

These seven paths to finding happiness are just the beginning. You may find your keys to a happy life within this list or just be inspired to search in another direction. Finding happiness requires action and you wont find your sustained sense of wellbeing without taking action.

What if it doesnt work?

However, finding happiness isnt always easy. Sometimes we have challenges that we need support to overcome. Sometimes that support and encouragement can come from family, friends or a life coach.

But if you find that you have difficulty finding or sustaining happiness no matter what you do, it might be a good idea to talk with a therapist. Therapists are trained to help people find the support they need to begin finding their keys to a happy life.

The good thing is that we all have the capacity to experience happiness as more than just a fleeting emotion. We just need to find our unique keys to unlocking our wellbeing and contentment.

Originally Published onDr.KarenFinn.com

Previously Published on Goodmenproject.com

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How To Discover Your Keys To A Happy Life - Thrive Global

Intermittent Fasting

One of the top diet search terms for 2019 was intermittent fasting.

"In the most basic terms, there are two main versions; time restricted eating (TRE), which is eating during only an 8-hour or 10-hour period or a 5:2 approach where women eat only 500 calories split between two meals, two times a week. Men get 600," said Kristin Kirkpatrick, a registered dietitian and manager of wellness nutrition services at the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute in Ohio.

"The benefits are expansive, including longer life, weight loss, and chronic disease risk reduction," she told Healthline.

Hunnes says other possible positives to intermittent fasting include benefits to the gastro-intestinal system by giving it time to rest and lowering inflammation throughout the body.

But fasting isn't appropriate for everyone.

"Intermittent fasting is not a good plan for pregnant women or those with certain health conditions such as diabetes," Wright said. "Additionally, one study found that intermittent fasting can harm heart health. Additionally, after losing weight with intermittent fasting, the body may gain back the weight more quickly because the body viewed fasting as starvation."

No Carbs, No Sugar

Earlier this year, singer Jennifer Lopez announced she was attempting a 10-day challenge of no carbohydrates and no sugar.

Days into her diet, Lopez encouraged her followers to join her.

However, experts say some carbs are necessary.

"Our brains depend on glucose derived from carbohydrates for healthy functioning as do our muscles," said Hunnes. "This type of diet is not healthy. Of course, limiting or avoiding sugar is healthy, but limiting all carbohydrates is not."

Wright agrees.

"Carbohydrates are critical for health. However, the problem for many people is the type and amount of carbohydrates consumed. Emphasizing complex carbohydrates such as whole grain pastas, rice, beans, vegetables, and fruit rather than simple sugars such as soda and candy is crucial," she said.

"Besides energy to fuel the body, carbohydrates also provide important vitamins, minerals, and fiber," Wright added. "Carbohydrates are essential and should not be eliminated from the diet. Rather, choose healthy carbohydrates and control the portions. Excessive carbohydrates can add unwanted calories and cause high blood sugars for diabetics."

Wright suggests an appropriate carbohydrate portion would be half to one cup of pasta rather than an entire plate or one-third to two-thirds of a cup of rice rather than a whole bowl.

Keto Ultra Diet

Last year, the high fat, low carb Keto Diet topped Google's trending diet searches.

This year, a variation of the diet called "Keto Ultra," which includes supplements, made the top 10 most searched diets.

"The ketogenic diet is very low in carbohydrates and very high in fat, putting the body into ketosis the burning of fat instead of glucose for fuel," Wright said. "The Keto Diet has been shown to reduce weight because with any diet that restricts entire food groups, it's possible that reduced dietary variety leads to reduced calorie intake. A side effect of ketosis is decreased hunger, which also contributes to weight loss."

But the diet comes with risks.

"Because carbohydrate-containing foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans are eliminated, a ketogenic diet can contribute to certain vitamin and mineral deficiencies and may negatively impact gut health," Wright said. "People following a ketogenic diet have also been shown to lose muscle mass, which is especially problematic for older adults."

Hunnes argues a keto-based diet is not healthy.

"I do not think this is a healthy choice since evolutionarily speaking, we thrive on glucose as our major energy source. A high-fat, high-protein diet is not healthy for us at all. I, in as strong of terms as possible, do not recommend a ketogenic diet," she said.

Both Wright and Hunnes note that the only people who could truly benefit from a keto-based diet are children who experience seizures and follow the diet under medical recommendations from their doctor.

"The ketogenic diet has been shown to successfully treat severe epilepsy in infants and children under medical supervision," Wright said.

The Sirtfood Diet

A diet popularized for its inclusion of dark chocolate and red wine was highly searched for in 2019.

The creators behind the Sirtfood Diet argue that "sirtfoods" can prevent disease and result in fat loss by activating a "skinny gene."

"The sirtfood diet includes foods that contain seven proteins shown to decrease inflammation. Sirtfoods include red wine, dark chocolate, kale, berries, and soy," Wright said.

Some of the other sirtfoods encouraged in this diet include strawberries, onions, blueberries, walnuts, coffee, and medjool dates.

But although the creators of the diet say eating such foods will activate a skinny gene, experts say there is no proof to back the claims.

"There is no evidence that the sirtfoods can turn on a skinny gene. The anti-inflammatory foods combined with calorie restrictions are more of the factors contributing to weight loss," Wright said.

Hunnes agrees.

"Anything that sounds too good to be true often is," she said.

New Year's Resolutions

As 2019 draws to a close and people begin making goals and resolutions for the new year, all of the experts who spoke with Healthline advise focusing on making sustainable lifestyle changes, rather than following extreme diets.

"Start before New Year's. Don't make that date an artificial time to start good habits and be aware that the best diet for you is the diet that you can stay on long term," Kirkpatrick said.

"Get away from the term diet and think of a lifestyle change that will support sustained success," Wright said. "Look at making small changes that will add up to a big impact. Look to something like the Mediterranean diet plan that is plant-forward with vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and lean fish and meats, and uses healthful fats. Combined with activity, this is a plan that you can live with and achieve your health goals."

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The past year has seen the University undergo profound change some of it planned and some of it completely unexpected.

The most-viewed Nevada Today news stories for 2019 reflect this theme over and over again. Eight of the top 10 most-viewed stories over the past year had something to do with or were related to an event that marked a change or transition in the life of the University.

An announcement by President Marc Johnson on Oct. 31 letting the campus know he would be transitioning to the faculty in July following more than eight years as the institutions 16th chief executive wasnt completely unexpected. In interviews since his announcement, Johnson said he had been talking with Nevada System of Higher Education Chancellor Thom Reilly as well as past Board of Regents chair Kevin Page and current chair Jason Geddes for more than a year about his wish to have his current contract be his last. The campus will now turn its collective attention in 2020 to the selection, following a national search, of Johnsons successor.

Far more unexpected was the explosion on July 5 that rocked Argenta Hall. The explosion severely damaged not only Argenta but Nye Hall as well. According to State Fire Marshal Bart Chambers report on the incident, an initial boiler explosion in Argenta occurred at about 12:42 p.m. during an inspection. A three-inch gas feeder was severed, which led to a 1 p.m. explosion that caused significant structural damage to Argenta and Nye Halls, injuring eight people. If not for the safety measures that were already in place, praised by Chambers as some of the best in the country, the Argenta explosion wouldve been far worse.

Still, in the days and weeks that followed, due in large part to the fact that the campus main dining facility inside Argenta was lost and more than 1,300 students were displaced by the explosion, the University began to experience a new normal of campus life. Temporary dining, in the form of Howler Village, was erected between the Pennington Student Achievement Center and Great Basin Hall. By early December, phase two of the interim dining plan, The Den, a 408-seat facility heated and cooled for comfort, had been erected between Thompson Hall and the Jot Travis Building, replacing Howler Village.

And in perhaps the biggest logistical undertaking of them all, the University in August completed an agreement with Eldorado Resorts to secure 1,300 beds in Circus Circus Renos West Tower for the students displaced by the Argenta explosion. The West Tower was renamed Wolf Pack Tower, and included a major commitment of resources by the University to ensure the Wolf Pack Tower students safety separate, non-gaming entrances and exits were established to the building; around-the-clock security was provided; all entrances and exits were staffed by University employees; a key-card system was utilized for entry; University Police Services provided routine patrols 24/7 and a substation presence. In addition, a regular bus shuttle service was made available for all students in Wolf Pack Tower.

Even with the disruption of normal campus routine in the days following the Argenta explosion, it was obvious that the campus was adjusting and looking forward to the future. At a press conference not long after the Argenta explosion, Provost Kevin Carman said as much when he was asked about the future of Argenta and Nye Halls.

We can restore them and will restore them, and thats the phase we are at, he said steadfastly.

It is estimated that Nye Hall could reopen by next summer. Argenta is slated to reopen in fall 2021.

In addition to the stories related to Johnsons presidential announcement and the Argenta explosion, two others in the 2019 Top 10 most viewed centered on the Wolf Packs nationally ranked mens basketball team, which rose to as high as No. 6 in the country. The Wolf Pack captured the national imagination because of its underdog status from the year before when it rushed to a surprise Sweet Sixteen berth, as well as the teams compelling storyline of an energetic coach and players whose personal stories spoke to struggle and redemption.

The Pack was coached by a former NBA coach who seemingly had run out of head coaching opportunities, Eric Musselman, who during his time heading the Pack program had made a rare and special connection with the student body and the community. Students who cheered for the Pack were considered part of the Muss Bus. Whenever the team won a big game, Musselman would often race to the student section for high-fives and hugs. The Packs players were predominantly made up of transfers from other schools who seemingly were at Nevada to prove their doubters wrong. Jordan Caroline was an undersized forward whose competitive engine was always revving and wouldnt let his team quit. Two of the Packs guards, Caleb and Cody Martin, were twin brothers raised by a single mother in near-poverty conditions in North Carolina. If that wasnt enough, the Martins volunteered at the SPCA and were on a student team in the College of Business prestigious Sontag Competition. There was a maturity, a sense of self-awareness to the team, whose starting five was completely made up of fifth-year seniors.

It all made for a 29-5 season that included a third straight Mountain West Conference Title but ended, sadly, in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. A few days later Eric Musselman left the University for the head coaching position at Arkansas. Musselmans four years at the University will never be forgotten. It was a herculean, around-the-clock effort by a coach whose obsession spilled into and energized the community while grabbing the attention of the entire country. Caleb and Cody Martin are now with the Charlotte Hornets of the NBA.

Since then, the veteran Steve Alford was hired as Nevadas mens basketball coach. Like so many other events that occurred over the past year, Alfords hiring signaled yet another transition in a year full of significant changes at the University of Nevada, Reno.

Below is a list of the 20 most viewed stories on Nevada Today in 2019:

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Transition and change highlight most viewed stories of 2019 - Nevada Today