We all get frustrated when things are not going our way. But does frustration lead to anything that is good for the team? I only think what needs to be done. Mistakes can happen from anyone.

New Delhi: In March 2016 at Chinnaswamy stadium, a tottering India scraped past Bangladesh by the narrowest of margins. A close analysis in the last moments of the match reveals the difference in attitude between Indias captain M.S. Dhoni and Bangladeshi players.

While the hyper-excited Bangladeshi players were already celebrating with an over to go, Dhoni kept his calm and eventually ran Mustafizur Rahman out on the last ball of the innings. India won the match by 1 run and kept their hopes alive in T-20 World Cup.

Unlike other players, Dhoni still did not celebrate as if it was just another day for him on the cricketing field. Instance like these has always left many wondering his unreal control over emotions and hailing him as Captain Cool.

So much so that team India former mental conditioning coach Paddy Upton, in his book, The Barefoot Coach went on to explain Dhonis lack of access to emotions.

The 38-year-old on Wednesday made his first public appearance after Indias semi-final exit in the World Cup at a promotional event in New Delhi and revealed about his mindset during crunch situations.

I would say I am like everyone else but I control it slightly better than some of the other individuals. I always felt that my emotions should be under control and if I am able to do that, my thinking would be more constructive, Dhoni said at Mastercards Team Cashless India event.

We all get frustrated when things are not going our way. But does frustration leads to anything that is good for the team? I only think what needs to be done. Mistakes can happen from anyone. It can happen when you dont execute your plans well. I like to get into the process again and think what can be done depending on the situation, the former captain explained.

Dhonis calculated risks during crunch situations have been the stuff of folklore. Critics may argue that he has captained best in the shorter format of the game but he still is the second best captain in the Test format for India, if stats are anything to go by.

Hailed as one of the smartest cricketing brains, Dhoni led India from front with a match winning 91not out in the final of 2011 World Cup. It was under his captaincy that India successfully defended 129/7 in 20 overs to lift ICC Champions trophy title. His long list of achievements also includes winning CB series down under eleven-years-ago.

In Test matches you have two innings and you get slightly longer duration to plan your strategies out. In ODIs, there is time constraint. In T-20s, everything happens very quickly, he said.

It might be an individual, who has committed a mistake or it might be the whole team. Maybe we didnt execute the plan whatever the format may be. What you want to achieve as a team is to win the tournament but thats a long-term goal. Ultimately, what you do is to break it into smaller things, Dhoni added.

The Ranchi boy further recalled some fond memories of inaugural ICC T-20 World Cup in 2007 where the group stage match against Pakistan went for the tie-breaker (bowl-out) and India registering one of most famous win against the arch-rivals.

There was something particular about that World Cup. The Bowl-Out was one of the things, he said. I remember we would go for practice. Before every practice session, we would practice Bowl Out before or after the warm-up. We said it very clear it is for fun but at the same time, whoever hits the wicket most number of times, we will use him if the situation arises. It has got nothing to do with I am a bowler, this is my job. Its like a performance thing and we will keep doing it everyday and whoever has the best hit-ratio are the ones who will be used.

Ultimately, winning or losing comes to each and every individual who is part of the team. In team sport, everybody has a role and a responsibility. Throughout the T20 World Cup, the roles and responsibilities given to individuals was fulfilled to the best manner possible. That was the reason we won the tournament, he said.

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I control my emotions better than other individuals: Dhoni - The Sunday Guardian

That journey wasnt easy. After a nine-week, 50-date tour with Brother Ali in 2014, MaLLy felt creatively stalled. He continued performing material from his previous (and much darker) album, The Colors of Black, but he didnt know what direction his music would take next.

Then, in 2015, he reached out to a producer friend, PC, who sent him a few beats. The music had a calm, vintage vibe, and, when combined with lifestyle changes like going vegetarian, quitting alcohol, and taking up a Buddhist meditation practice, MaLLy began to write with more vulnerability and authenticity. Soon, songs about celebrating the present moment, empowerment, masculinity, and spirituality flowed freely. The process made him fall back in love with music making.

This album was like therapy, he says. It was truly a journey to find myself and proudly walk my own path as an artist. Instead of trying to look happy, this album was my ode to being happy.

We spoke to MaLLy about his metamorphosis ahead of his Oct. 5 release show at Icehouse.

City Pages: When you first stopped drinking, was your plan to make a permanent lifestyle change or did you just want to be more clear-headed for the album?

M: Initially, it was like a test for myself. I was like, Let me see if I can chill out for a week of not going out or having drinks on the weekend with friends. I woke up after the first week on a Saturday, and I was like, This feels great! Im not hungover. All my facilities are intact. Im not confused or angry or bitter. The day-after hangover feeling of depression and sadness wasnt there. I was like, Let me go another week. And then a month happened. Two, three, four, five months happened, and I was like, I think this is a full-blown lifestyle change. I just wanted to be clear-headed for life, not even just for the project, just in general. It had gotten boring, to be honest with you. After a while, I literally heard this voice in my head saying, What are we even doing this for?

People thought it was weird, too. They were like, Dude, youre not drinking? And youre not eating meat anymore? Whats going on? People thought I was in a cult. They thought something had gone wrong. I was like, No, I just decided I dont do that anymore. Nobody ever gets weird or questions if you stop smoking cigarettes. But with drinking, its everywhere. If you perform, they got drinks in the green room. Even if they dont, a fan wants to buy you a drink. You go to the afterparty. Theres happy hour if you work in a corporate setting. The company party. Its so abundant. Its like you almost dont think about it. Its just there. Its as easy as breathing air. I was like, Yeah, I just dont want to do this anymore.

[Now that Im sober] Im so present about things. Im not wishy-washy and confused. My mood is balanced. Life is completely different because of that. And I value myself and the people around me so much more now. Im really here with people. I can go to places and feel what it feels like to be in a certain environment because Im not numbed. Theres no veil over my essence or over my feelings. Im 100 percent there. Im tuned in. It definitely contributed to how the album turned out.

CP: The first track on the album honors your mother. How has your relationship with her shaped you?

M: Dear Mama is actually more of an ode of gratitude to both my mom and my grandma. The woman you hear speaking on the track is my grandma, from a voicemail she left me. I was having a down moment and she called me back to leave some encouraging words. When I listen back to that, thats like a tearjerker moment for me. Some of the stuff shes saying, like, God loves you and so do I, that hit me in the chest really hard. Both my mom and grandma have definitely been two pillars in my life as far as instilling some values: being honest, educating yourself, being a loving person, working hard. Being an only child, I got to spend lots of time with them. Theyve always been at the center of why I do a lot of things. I want to be the reflection of their investment. I want people, when they see me, to say, This dude is the product of strong mentors, ethics, and two beautiful, strong black women who never were rich but they have rich spirits, rich hearts.

My mom recently experienced her second bout of breast cancer in late 2018. Just going through driving someone to all of their appointments, making sure that the mastectomy was successfulit was a serious undertaking for those months, from the diagnosis to the surgery. I feel like it brought us closer. I think it let me know that my mom and my grandma are my real ones, theyre two of my favorite people in this world that have always shown love. If it wasnt for them, there wouldnt be me. Theyve always encouraged me to be the best at whatever it is that Im doing, as long as Im happy, thats all that matters. Which is why I say, Dear Mama / I hope you really like this, like, I hope you not only like the record but I hope that youre proud of the effort and the time and the investment that you put into me as a person, as a son, as an entrepreneur, as an artist. I hope that youre proud of the job that you did. I think this particular project is a reflection of their hard work as much as it is mine.

CP: Another one of the standout tracks on the album is Faces. What experiences informed that song?

M: My friend, Bambu, has a song on his album Prey for the Devil called Whiteface. I happened to be listening to his album one day. I felt like it would cool if I did, not necessarily a response, but a continuation, but instead of Blackface, I just wanted to call it Faces because its more of a metaphor of the different types of caricatures as well as faces of pain, experiences of racism, prejudice, and challenges in the world.

Parts of the chorus are kind of conflicting: They wanna see a smile with a black face / But everybody scared of the black face / They wanna see you die with your black face / This whole crowd fell in love with the black face. And its a mix of, like, people selling themselves out but then also other people wanting to take on those caricatures who have no experience or understanding of what its like to be in someone elses shoes.

I go on to say, Three years since I been called the [N-word] twice. That was a real experience that prompted that verse. The second verse goes on to really criticize mainstream America. Been ridiculed since middle school / a tear big enough thatd drop and fill a pool. That particular line comes from going to private school a majority of my life and being one of the only black students if not the only black student in my class, and really having a hard time with that, dealing with, Do I assimilate? How do I survive in this environment without stripping down and minimizing and giving up parts of myself just to get an education?

Then I go on: Pray for high-flying vultures if you drive five over. Its a criticism towards racism and referencing instances where blacks have been shot. I think there was an instance where an individual was making racist comments from a helicopter, saying, There goes the bad guy, on a police chase. Thats the high-flying vulture. And then the idea that if you drive five [miles] over [the speed limit] and get pulled over by the police, this potentially could be your last time on Earth.

So a lot of Faces is a critique of this integrated but super segregated world but then also doing some undertone criticisms of self, like: Whats the part Ive played in this? Where do I fall into the equation? Am I one of those faces that has rapped just to entertain people? But then also understanding that even if you entertain people, theres still that weird paradox that people are scared of you or people judge you from outer appearance. Having a black face is a very complicated thing.

CP: There are religious references all over this album. How does your faith influence both your life and your music?

M: Growing up, Id always had a relationship with God or with a higher power, more so looking at it like an energy or a vibe that governs how everything moves in the world. All living beings, to me, are manifestations of that. Were all an expression of the supreme. The world doesnt belong to us; we belong to it. Having that understanding since I was a young child andprayer, specifically, this idea of you can pray or you can worry. I started off at a young age practicing Christianity very lightly.

More recently, I saw an interview by Russell Simmons where he was describing clarity over cloudiness he used to get high and drunk and party hard and he stumbled upon meditation and realized that meditation for 20 minutes means more to him than a late night of drinking and getting high. When he said that he prefers clarity over cloudiness, that just stuck with me. I said, Wow. This is something that maybe I should explore. I was very curious, having more of a seekers mentality versus just having super hard, definitive roles of where I fit or where Im supposed to be spiritually.

A friend of mine introduced me to Common Ground Meditation Center in Minneapolis. I went to a couple of meditation courses and started to practice meditation. Its like rewiring or retraining your patterns, your habits, how you see the world, how you see people, how you see yourself. For me, the way it started to spill over into the music was really not fighting, or trying to be perfect, with the material I was coming up with. Instead of trying to hide and come up with the slickest verse, why dont I just have a very honest verse about how I feel about my spirituality or how I feel about the world? Whats my perspective on how I acted towards women in relationships or friendships? Whats my relationship with my family? How do I feel about myself right now? And being able to have those real conversations. My spirituality practice, as well as the music, has served as a mirror for me to be able to live twice and reflect on things that have happened and speak to a lot of those situations.

CP: Throughout all these experiences, what have you learned about happiness?

M: Happiness comes from so many places on a temporary basis, like I got a big pay raise or I got a new car or I bought a new house or I got married or Im in a relationship or I put out a new album. Those are all slices of happiness, or things that create or incite happiness. Theres feeling it, but then theres the state of beingtrying to figure out, at this very moment, even if I dont have every single thing that Ive ever desired or ever wanted, am I good? Can I sit there and say, Im happy with my life?

The thing that Ive learned about happiness is its one thing to get there and experience it, but it takes effort and intention to maintain it. Happiness is available to all of us, within us. Im not trying to make decisions for people who might have mental illness. Maybe it is a different road or different challenge to get there. I dont have any mental illness that I know of, but in general terms, I do think happiness is available to us all. We have everything we need to get to that point or experience that. But I think it is a matter of putting the time in, of really counting your blessings, of understanding that happiness is here. Its not way across the room. Happiness is within all of us.

We put a lot of stock in external things. And the external stuff is the stuff that we cant control. If youre outsourcing your happiness into external things, into something thats volatile, thats always in flux, thats always fleeting, and thats impermanent, then youre at the mercy of the world.

MaLLyWith: Last Word, The Lioness, and Just WulfWhere: IcehouseWhen: 10:30 p.m. Sat. Oct. 5Tickets: $8/$10; more info here

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MaLLy embraces a vintage sound and new attitude on 'The Journey to a Smile' - City Pages

I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Shaun Morgan, an authentic mental health advocate and lead singer of the world renowned rock band, Seether. After tragically losing his brother to suicide, Shaun perpetuated change through his art and influence and created Rise Above Fest in memory of his brother. Rise Above has partnered with one of the nations first suicide prevention organizations,SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education)to come together with theinaugural Exit 111 Festival in Manchester, TN on Friday, Oct 11 Sun, Oct 13, 2019.

Tell me about how the festivals partnership with SAVE came to be and what it means to have been able to donate so much money to the organization over the years.

The first year of the Rise Above Fest, we were partnered up with a local New Hampshire chapter of a nationwide charity who seemed to have very little enthusiasm for what we were trying to achieve, so we needed to find someone passionate about the cause. Im not sure exactly how we were put in touch with SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education), but Dr. Dan Reidenberg is the person who really sold me on their organization. He is incredibly dedicated to raising awareness about suicide and is on a tireless crusade to help families in need. We raise a small contribution to SAVE every year, and it feels like were doing our part in trying to affect small changes in the world. This subject is very close to my heart, so it makes me very proud that we have really created a solid platform to engage in an extremely tough conversation.

This year, Rise Above has partnered with SAVE and the Exit 111 Festival for an important cause. How is the inaugural Exit 111 helping to make a social impact?

For starters, it is by far the largest festival setting that we have been a part of, which wasnt focused solely on suicide awareness. This is an incredible opportunity afforded to us by the creators of Exit 111, and we are really grateful that they have been so supportive. There is a global social network that we have access to, which has increased with the addition of our new partners at the festival; I think the impact we can have is tremendous. The major impact will be seen at the festival itself, once people stop by the tent and see what were trying to achieve, which will continue to grow through word of mouth and people spreading the message independently.

Your vision for Rise Above was to touch at least one life and possibly make them reconsider the tragic path of suicide. Has any one individual come to you with this sort of success story? What kind of feedback have you received?

I can confidently say that there is a lot of pain out there, with countless stories of suicide, suicide attempts or deep depression. I have heard so many stories, and unfortunately, most of them are not happy ones. Its incredibly moving to be entrusted with the personal pain that people carry and to be a shoulder for them to lean on. With that being said, there are many beautiful stories full of hope and potential, and those are the moments that help to cement my dedication to helping people. I am very happy to say that there have been a number of people that I have personally spoken to in times of need who have managed to turn a corner and steer their lives in a positive direction. Every story is unique and its not easy, but there are some incredible kids out there who I think I have helped. I hope I have given them confidence in themselves to be able to face any challenges head-on and not make the ultimate sacrifice.

You have built Rise Above into a notable organization, how do you define your type of leadership? Can you provide a few examples?

I dont see myself as a leader at all, not in this case. I am somebody who happened to experience suicide and wanted to prevent that from happening to other people. My main goal is to help people know that they are not alone, and that happiness cannot come from social media and the never ending quest for approval from strangers or peers. In fact, my advice is to get rid of those things completely to focus more on things that make you happy and give you a sense of meaning, which for me has always been music. I struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts like a lot of people do, which unfortunately gives me an honest perspective of what people are going through. I see myself as a facilitator more than a leader, because I am merely shining a light on the problem and offering steps towards healing and in so helping to mend myself.

As a mental health advocate, what has been the most meaningful part of your journey or the organizations journey?

The most meaningful parts are the success stories from people that I meet when they are in a low place, then seeing them a year later and they are in a completely different place mentally. It is a decidedly tough journey that these people are on, and to know that I helped them to make slightly better choices or feel that I am someone who cares about them, it is a very humbling experience. By helping people who are struggling with depression and seeing them flourish, I am achieving my original goal, and then some. The entire driving force behind all of this is to show people that they are inherently important and meaningful, and each success story is another step forward for my own healing process.

For others wanting to help, what are some action steps people can take to follow in your footsteps and speak out for mental health?

Its very simple to become involved, and it starts with making a decision to change your attitude and your approach to people who are struggling. If you are personally struggling, it is about realizing that it is absolutely okay to ask for help. It is about rebuilding communities through positive interaction, rather than spending your time living out your life online. I think you should reach out to people that appear to be suffering and see if there is a way to help, which quite often is simply through listening without prejudice. At the very center of it all, this whole movement is built around compassion for others, and abandoning old taboos and thought processes to really stare this epidemic in the face and demand its surrender. Small actions slowly compound into large ones and that is how you find yourself being part of the movement.

What are five things you wish someone told you when you first founded the Rise Above Festival?

Firstly, I would have liked to be warned about the magnitude of this epidemic and the avalanche of stories that come with it. I make no secret that I am dealing with my own issues, and some days it can take a real emotional toll on me. I am honored to be able to help people but I am also very sensitive to this particular issue so it really moves me and I feel every single persons pain. That can be tough, but I am in this fight to make a difference. The other four could all be lumped together actually. I learned very quickly that there are people in this business that do not share my passion for the cause and ultimately do not make the best partners for me. We are now partnered with generous and passionate partners in the entire Exit 111 team, and we have surrounded ourselves with management and agents that are equally focused and passionate about the cause.

You have inspired a movement that will continue to help so many people, what does the future look like for Rise Above Fest? What are a few milestones you hope to reach with it?

We hope to build it up to a point where we can do the festival on a global scale and be able to organize satellite festivals across the world. That would be a dream come true, but exponentially better. The focus right now is on rebuilding the brand in Nashville and restoring it to its purest form where helping people trumps everything else. I am very inspired that I have a real say in how the whole operation runs, and I have rediscovered my drive for this so there are big things ahead. Hopefully, we will explore the idea of doing Rise Above festivals across the US too, once we have a few under our belt.

Do you have a favorite life lesson or message that has been especially relevant in your life?

My dad always used to tell me that its not what you say to people, but how you say it. That has always been in the back of my mind since I was a kid and I try to remember that when I interact with others. I feel like that is an especially important lesson right now in an age where we are subject to anonymous bullying online and hysterical masses. This is all about rediscovering compassion and abandoning razor-sharp outrage over subjects that wont matter tomorrow. It would be nice if we, as a society, would take a deep breath before unleashing all the fury of the seven seas on strangers which often leads to very serious and tragic consequences.

How can our readers follow you on social media?

People can keep up to date by checking any of the Seether social media platforms, which will have information about everything band related as well as Rise Above news.

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Social Impact Heroes: How Seether Frontman Shaun Morgan Is Advocating for Mental Health with the Inaugural Exit 111 Festival - Thrive Global

Entrepreneurs play an integral role in society. They create job opportunities which in turn contribute to economic productivity and growth. However, entrepreneurship is not easy. Recent studies reveal that entrepreneurs are susceptible to mental health conditions such as depression, eating disorders, anxiety, and stress. The desire to grow their business to success leads most entrepreneurs sleep-deprived, undernourished, over-caffeinated, and financially constrained. Whereas some entrepreneurs report being extremely happy in their work and satisfied with their life, some entrepreneurs end up depressed due to the stress of it all.

We interviewed Ariya Behjat, the CEO and Co-founder of Axenic studios. Axenic thrives in the competitive industry of branding and marketing. However, in just two years, Ariya was able to grow his company from $50,000 to a multimillion-dollar business. We conversed with him to discover how he can power through his workday and avoid burnout.

Tip 1: Preference for Progression over Perfection

There are three main tips that Ariya utilizes to help him avoid burnout. The first tip is a preference for progression over perfection. When starting a new company, developing a business, or holding an executive role as a CEO/CTO/COO there is a superstition that we must not stop until we achieve perfection. While this philosophy is inspiring, it does handicap ones agility in growing fast and staying ahead of the market. It is crucial to understand that the price of perfection is time. With every step of progress, our standards of perfection will have a parallel growth, making it equally hard to achieve perfection no matter where we are in our progress until we settle, he says.

That said, it is vital to believe in perfection and do our best to get close to it, but it is much more important to acknowledge and reward practical goals.

When an entrepreneur focuses on progression, he develops a growth mindset. This mindset is not as stressful compared to the pursuit of perfection. According to Ariya, this progressive mentality will not handicap your agility. Furthermore, it will help you create time for friends, family, and fun.

Tip 2: Prioritize Purpose over Position

The second tip that Ariya recommends for avoiding burnout is prioritizing purpose over the position. The pursuit of a place in a competitive environment can be a source of stress for an entrepreneur. According to the Gallup wellbeing index, 34% of entrepreneurs reported being worried a lot due to factors such as competition springing up and developing the companys position in the market. After an entrepreneur identifies a purpose and the identity of a business, they tend to become attached to their position. We find ourselves clouded by the titles on our email signatures, he says. According to Ariya, the solution to avoiding the frustrations of position is to focus on purpose. Feed your purpose before your position in your company. Also, ensure that your team identifies what is the purpose of their role is and how it helps the business. That will not only help you to grow your business but will also narrow down your tasks, thereby reducing the risk of burnout, he says.

Having a purpose motivates. It makes it more effective as it encourages the team to work towards a unified vision. Also, it removes the frustrations of a position that tends to lead to a narrow channeled view.

Tip 3: Choose Happiness over Success

The third tip that Ariya recommends is opting for happiness over success. Approximately 30% of entrepreneurs admit to struggling with depression. That is because of the struggle to achieve success. Failure to achieve success inevitably led to depression. However, to Ariya, the perception that I will be happy only if I succeed is a misconception. Traditionally, most entrepreneurs believe to depend on success to be happy. However, we forget that our standards grow in parallel with our successes leading us to chase a shadow when the light is behind us. Similar to having progress over perfection, it is so important to enjoy the journey, appreciate the moment, and have fun when presenting, coding, and brainstorming. Such an attitude lights the rooms you attend. Remind yourself, and everyone around you how crucial and interesting a certain moment maybe dont leave for it to reminisce when it could be enjoyed now. Success without happiness is a success on paper and nowhere else. For true happiness to be most achievable, we must attend to our health. he says.

Focussing on happiness eliminates the constant worry that leads to burnout. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, The first wealth is health. Without proper nourishment, sleep, and -especially- excellent emotional support, we become sensitive and reactive to the smallest inconveniences. Not to mention that when an actual failure presents itself, we find ourselves starting to shutting off our logic and emotions, he says.

Conclusion

Ariyas tips focus has helped him achieve success as an entrepreneur without falling prey to the mental health issues resulting from the entrepreneurial journey. He advocates for entrepreneurs to take care of their health and recognize their health and happiness as a success. He also recommends prioritizing on purpose and focussing on progression when developing a firm. These tips are integral if you are planning to venture into entrepreneurship or if you are already managing your own business. The tips will help you avoid burnout and the mental issues that have become a common trend among entrepreneurs.

Original post:
How Serial Entrepreneur Ariya Behjat Can Power through His Work Day and Avoid Burnout - Thrive Global

Consciousness is a fresh and stimulating energy by which humans are considered superior to animals. It is a kind of light that helps mankind to attain ultimate success. There is no alternative of consciousness; it is a kind of a treasure, a reality that completes humanity. Every human is born with different consciousness, and if there are 7.7 billion people across the world, not a single man is the carbon copy of another. Resemblance between two individuals may be possible with respect to their physical structure, but from a metaphysical point of view, no two men are identical. Therefore, a comparison between two people on the basis of their consciousness is a ridiculous approach. That is why the philosophy of a role model is futile and unnecessary as every human being is a model in his own nature.

No two persons can be compared at any stage in their life if that this comparison is made in the field of education and intellect. Collectively, we have gotten into the habit of asserting pressure on the minds of our children in the shape of imposing our desires that, at times, produce dire consequences. We dont have any idea of the loss we are facing by virtue of this practice.

At the initial stage of schooling, parents inculcate their ambitions into the minds of children, to acquire first position or to be like the child of their friend. This unnecessarily asserted pressure produces negative effects on the minds of our children. Every child has instinctive qualities by birth, and nature teaches him to utilise them, but parents, society and academic environment turn a blind eye to these abilities, and let them go to waste in ignorance. Not everybody can become a doctor or an engineer. If the child of your friend is a successful doctor, it doesnt mean that your child is also like him. This sort of pressure with respect to education is leading us to a bad state, but we are unable to understand the real causes of decline in childrens academic performances.

We connect a childs failure to many reasons but are ignorant to the main cause. Acquiring first position in university or securing more marks than others is not the only achievement and real success. We forget that many successful people in world were against regular education. Bill Gates, a dropout of the Harvard University, says that he was never remembered as a topper in his alma mater, but he has lots of top students working under his leadership. The basis of intelligence and success is the ability and not formal education. What education does, it polishes the inbuilt potential in humans and enhances their hidden talents, and therefore, education is compulsory and grooming is mandatory for moral growth.

Collectively, we have gotten into the habit of asserting pressure on the minds of our children in the shape of imposing our desires

In todays world, we have to free our children of two main mental evils. The first one is to abandon education that is opposite to the aptitude of our children, and the second one is to remove the comparison-based culture and attitudes. Comparatively based attitude can only be developed if two children have an identical level of consciousness, which is impossible. That is why a comparative attitude evokes pessimism among children. Resultantly, a child starts to follow the paradigm of readymade education in our society in lieu of understanding the phenomenon of world by utilising his instinctive qualities. This corrodes his aptitude and inbuilt abilities.

If we leave our children to their inbuilt abilities, they will surely find a way and choose the best profession in which they can prove themselves. In our society, the cause of many psychological ailments is the use of dissimulation and simulation: we hide what we actually are, and sometimes, we act how we are not. It starts in childhood; we are taught to act in a dual capacity, and we have this attitude until our death. A person having a great aptitude for singing becomes an engineer for fulfilling his parents desire. He is coerced to study engineering, which is entirely opposite to his aptitude and natural tendency.

With this practice, some children are affected by the very dangerous ailment of split personality. It is a psychological illness that makes a person act in dual personalities. This disease also develops a sense of guilt among children, mainly due to comparative treatment; sometimes, it leads them to the edge. They commit suicide when they fail to achieve a good position in a college examination.

All this happens due to stress imposed by parents in childhood. In every aspect of life, the comparison-based attitude develops a negative thinking in the minds of humans. It also compels humans to grow and get ahead at every cost, without caring whether the means are fair or unfair. The comparative attitude in human beings is awful; it not only develops a negative approach on an individual level but its also coerces a person to affect his society in an adverse manner. In this way, he creates many social evils, and a bad society is developed where hate and selfishness prevail. His society is plagued by sordid impulses, widespread apathy and pervasive soullessness.

We should eradicate comparatively based attitude, especially in the field of education, so that we could provide our children a stress-free atmosphere where they choose whatever field they like. We should handover our children to their inbuilt abilities and aptitudes. Then they would flourish, and will not only be good humans but also good professionals. The person who possesses one personality, externally and internally, would be a strong man.

The writer is a psychologist and a polymath

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Comparative attitude in education - Daily Times

KEARNEY Dawn Darling, a licensed social worker, didnt know she was doing groundbreaking work when she first reached out to the LGBTQ community, a population she believed was overlooked.

I realized there were no mental health or medical resources for them. Previously, they had to drive to Lincoln and Omaha for services. As I began learning more about transgender people and issues, I knew I needed to do something for them, she said.

For that work, Darling has been named the 2019 Social Worker of the Year by the Nebraska chapter of the National Association of Social Workers.

Darling, who works at Kearney Counseling Associates, 2811 W. 30th St., began focusing on the transgender community after counseling her first transgender client five years ago.

LGBTQ is a marginalized community that struggles with housing, employment and transgender issues, she said. I wanted to be a mental health resource in a safe and affirmative place.

In 2015, she launched Chameleons, a private support group for the LGBTQ community. Its Facebook site has 53 members, and its monthly support group draws about eight to 10 people ranging in age from their 20s to their 50s.

They love it. Theyre thrilled, Darling said. Its a good way for them to meet each other and support each other. Before, this was a very underground community. People found out about it through word of mouth. This is an organized, safe way to get together.

Darling, a native of Gering, raised four children before returning to school to earn two degrees in social work a bachelors degree from the University of Nebraska at Kearney in 2010 and a masters degree from the University of Nebraska at Omaha in 2014.

Now, based in Kearney, she works with people from Kearney, Hastings, Grand Island, Broken Bow, Holdrege and other regional communities.

A lot of my work involves getting people to accept their own identity, clarify it and figure out how they want to come out to people. We also discuss medical assistance, hormones, future surgery and how to change their name and documents such as their drivers license. We also discuss how to cope with negative attitudes, Darling said.

One client who had transgender surgery adopted Dawn as her middle name in gratitude for the support Darling provided.

Theyve been very accepting of me. They welcomed me into their community, but I worked at coming in with an attitude of acceptance to be able to work with them. They really appreciate it, she said.

Darling, who also works with families and at-risk youths, was nominated for the award by Jamie Reich, who works for the Nebraska Childrens Home Society in Kearney.

Reich, also a social worker, is a past NASW board member. She wanted to recognize Darling for taking risks to promote social justice and human rights in central Nebraska.

(Darling) has increased awareness of issues facing the LGBTQ community and offers a safe space to individuals who seek acceptance in a rural area. She has become a leader in the community on these issues, Reich said.

Darling said she was drawn to the LGBTQ community because of how discriminated they are. I had compassion for them. They are marginalized. They dont have protections against discrimination, or legal resources. I wanted to do my part to make them feel better about themselves and live in a safe society.

Darling said she hasnt heard of any outward discrimination of LGBTQ people in Kearney. It might happen behind peoples backs, but people still seem to be fairly accepting, she said.

She remains humbled by the award. I read that letter telling me Id receive it. Then I read it again. I wondered, are there several people getting this award in Nebraska? No. It was just me, she said. I know Ive done what I can for the transgender community, but I dont feel like Ive done enough.

maryjane.skala@kearneyhub.com

Excerpt from:
Kearney's Dawn Darling wins Social Worker of the Year award - Kearney Hub

When Helen Simey was working through her mental struggles, she came across a word and it changed everything for her.

Using the ethos of Smile, Attitude, Sparkle and Shine, the 47-year-old launched a Facebook support group - SASS, a few months ago.

The mother-of-two from Fleetwood said: We are a group of ladies based in Fleetwood or the Fylde coast, aimed at being able to offer support online through Facebook and with social gatherings.

Most importantly, SASS is a place to celebrate women and learn from one another. Its a place to get support and advice without criticism or judgement.

Since it was created in April, we have grown and we now have more than 1,000 ladies within the group.

Initially I set up and ran the group on my own but after a shout out for help we now have a small team who help me keep SASS relevant and dynamic covering a lot of subjects that are important to our ladies.

The focus remains is on supporting each other, enhancing our self-care and reaching out with ideas for those who might not know where to go to for support.

The idea is that together we are stronger and we can all help and support each other with simple words of comfort or encouragement, whatever might be needed.

It is designed to work like a magazine and is structured so you can go straight to areas that interest you in our subgroups or have a flick through the posts.

The group covers topics such as menopause, fitness, crafting and creativity group, as well as being affiliated to a meditation and reiki group. It also offers challenges to boost self-confidence or physical wellbeing; monthly prize draws and a virtual and face-to-face book club.

The women also do a lot of charity work, collecting bras for the Pink Charity for African ladies and old spectacles for Vision Aid.

They are holding a fund-raising event on October 10, for the Hello Yellow World Mental Health Day and next month they will support Blackpool Victoria Hospitals Ward 26.

Helen revealed she was inspired to find ways of promoting positive wellbeing when she suffered a mental breakdown five years ago.

She said: I sought help from the professionals, going on medication and getting CBT support.

Whilst the medical support was great during my initial treatment, the after care and ongoing support for mental health illness was non-existent. It got me thinking about other ladies who arent able to reach out or who dont know where to look for support.

I knew I needed to do something to help those ladies. I started seeking support on-line and challenging myself with exercise, walking and personal goals. My coping strategies did help me move on but when I saw the word SASS, I realised what I was supposed to do. So I took a huge step outside of my comfort zone and did it. Our strapline of Smile, Attitude, Sparkle And Shine sums up what the group is about.

Go here to read the rest:
How a woman on the brink of a nervous breakdown is bringing SASS to Fleetwood and the Fylde coast - Blackpool Gazette

My upper-classmen peers in high school always told me it goes by way too quickly, so I can only imagine that college does as well. Enjoy it while it lasts, is a phrase we should live by, since we usually dont realize we miss something until its over.

This is also why my mother wouldnt let me bring my Volkswagen Jetta my prized possession to college this year. I was pretty upset about this, but now that Ive been living here for the last couple of weeks without it, I totally understand why she said no.

As I have been getting acclimated into this new stage of life, I have been living in the moment as best as I can, not letting all of the stress take over not yet at least.

I have re-learned how to make friends and found out that there are people with the same interests and crazy personality as me. Ive remembered music is something I am extremely passionate about and I want to continue pursuing it, even if its just as a side hobby. Ive also narrowed down my options and come to the conclusion through a lot of trial and error that the teriyaki bowl in Davies is hands-down the best block meal, no questions asked.

The dorm has been the last place Ive been as I have been busy attending meetings for different clubs and orgs, which I advise every first-year to do. Also, the most organic way I have been evolving as an individual is by putting my phone down and fostering new relationships with people of all walks of life.

As I have just spit-balled some of the ways I have been living in the moment here on campus for the past couple weeks, I want to inform you about the shifts in behaviors and emotions Ive picked up on from my peers, a shift that is due to being in college and away from our old norms for a couple of weeks now.

Through simply sitting in the lounge area of Towers lobby, talking to people Ive met on my dorm floor or even waiting in line at Einsteins, Ive come to notice the excitement we all saw on move-in day has slowly faded away.

By meeting new people on our residence floors, attending meetings for different orgs and starting classes, we were excited for the first week. Fast forward to the brink of October and Ive noticed a lot of first-year students, including myself, I will admit, complaining more often about the little things that get on our nerves on a day-to-day basis.

To bluntly say it, we are letting the stress and lack of sleep from our work-loads slap us in the face.

Obviously, your classes and homework are of (the) utmost importance when attending college, said Dydra Arnold from The Daily Eastern News. However, it is important not to let them consume you to the point where you are not enjoying other college experiences and activities.

Im not saying this transition should be easy, but one way to handle the stress of classes and deadlines is to stop dragging our feet through the mud. Although it may be a default mechanism to moan, rant or be negative, I dont believe we should be living this way.

Its easy to forget about the exact moment in our lives we are living in. Its in our nature as human beings to take things for granted, Ryan DisDeir explains in his article, Why Living in the Moment is Important for College Students.

These life-changing opportunities, remarkable people and amazing memories that make up our college years are some of the best moments of our lives, just ask your older relatives. We should not be going about our day with a negative mental attitude. Our years here on campus seem to be more valuable once weve graduated and get to talk about them in a conversation over dinner 15 years down the line.

I encourage all my fellow first-years, during these first few months, to give yourself time to fully acclimate. Get involved in a club you have never heard of, pay extra attention in that class that you dont particularly like, share a laugh with someone you dont know as youre both walking up the hill and breathing heavy, introduce yourself to a professor and learn something from them, put your phone down and have a genuine face-to-face interaction with a friend or even just go enjoy a teriyaki bowl.

I might just be an optimistic first-year who hasnt suffered through the real struggles of college and knows absolutely nothing (because, frankly, I dont), but I am here to say that no matter what youre going through, its going to be worth it in the end. The discomforts and stresses that make you want to be a negative nelly, due to this new chapter of your life, are completely justifiable and normal feelings as a first-year student, but they can help you change your attitude and from here on out, propel you forward to live in the moment.

Andy Bernard from The Office once said, I wish there was a way to know youre in the good old days before youve actually left them.

Well, youre in the good old days right now, so live in the now. After all, theres no place more spectacular to live.

Erickson can be reached at [emailprotected]

Go here to read the rest:
Living in the Moment - UWEC Spectator

Friday 10.4

Jade Bird @ First Avenue Jade Bird writes, scrupulous, beatific, Americana-inflected folk songs, with the same subdued acoustic sound whether whether shes rocking (Uh Huh) or aching (My Motto). Her self-titled debut Jade Bird displays her delicate, earthy voice and her trick of remaining mellifluous even when doubling the number of syllables in a line (I Get No Joy). With Flyte. 18+. 8 p.m. $20/$22. 701 First Ave. N. More info here.Lucas Fagen

Off With Their Heads @ MortimersOnce upon a time there was a little local band called Off With Their Heads that played most of their Twin Cities shows in dirty basements you couldnt find, like the long defunct Alamo House. Over the past 17 years, the bandfrontman Ryan Young, along with a rotating cast of over 20 touring and recording bandmatesditched their homes, wandered the world, signed to Epitaph, launched a podcast and merchandise business called Anxious & Angry, and found a somewhat settled existence in Chicago, all while churning out five full length albums and numerous singles of pure mental struggle-pain-angst-fuck the world punk rock that somehow manages to still be catchy as hell. Friday they stage a homecoming show at Mortimers, which has also grown up just a little bit over the past 17 years. 6 p.m. $14. 2001 Lyndale Ave S, Minneapolis, Minnesota 55405. More info here.Tigger Lunney

Injury Reserve @ 7th St Entry

Jon Pardi @ Armory

Dan Israel @ Hook and Ladder

Reina Del Cid @ Cedar

Complete Friday music listings here.

Saturday 10.5

Stereolab @ First AvenueThis is French disco, announced Laetitia Sadier at Stereolabs excellent Pitchfork Music Festival show this summer. Is that what theyre calling indie rock now? The French-English bands kaleidoscopic hybrid of lounge, jazz, disco, noise, archness, absurdity, and anything else that can suitably decorate a wicked groove continues to startle; theyre touring for the first time in a decade. With Bitchin Bajas. 18+. 8 p.m. $30/$35. 701 First Ave. N. More info here.Lucas Fagen

Sequoyah Murray @ Moon Palace BooksMurrays first full-length, Before I Begin, is effortlessly versatile, with his breathless baritone buffed up against burbling keys that bump the 1980s into 2019 on the single Penalties of Love, and catch a tan in the winsome, updated Tropicalia of Is Enough. There are strings and horns that dont come from a keyboard, along with a rainstick, kalimba, and confident, optimistic lyrics befitting a young artist in bloom. Whether all that can emerge at Moon Palace, Murrays hip-hop-r&b hybrid should travel well and wont likely appear in such an intimate space next time around. 8 p.m. $10 ($12 day of show). 3032 Minnehaha Ave., Minneapolis. More info here.Britt Robson

Jesse Dayton @ Turf ClubAlthough East Texas native Jesse Daytons career has simmered below the general radar for some 30 years, hes worked with Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Rockin Dopsie, Rob Zombie, Doug Sahm, X, Flaco Jimenez and Willie Nelson. His voice is as deep and resonant as Jennings, guitar skills abundant and eclectic tastes run to hard country, rockabilly, punk, blues and zydeco. His new Mixtape Volume 1 covers the likes of The Clash, Elton John, AC/DC, The Cars and Springsteen via unique honky-tonk-leaning arrangements heavy on twang and kickass attitude. Mike Stinson opens. 21+. 8:30 p.m. $12-$15. 1601 University Ave., St. Paul. More info here.Rick Mason

Complete Saturday music listings here.

Sunday 10.6

Aaron Neville Duo @ DakotaIts been a rough couple of years for New Orleans first family of funk. Saxophonist Charles Neville died in 2018; keyboardist Art Neville died this past July. With Aaron and Cyril, they were the Neville Brothers, the iconic band that closed every Jazz Fest for years. Happily Aaron and his astounding, inimitable voice, topped by an otherworldly falsetto, endure. Hes touring again with his longtime pianist, Michael Goods, tapping into NOLA R&B, doo-wop tradition, classic soul and pop balladry, and always his 1966 signature tune Tell It Like It Is. Which he does too on his latest, Apache, especially the Bros-worthy Stompin Ground. 7 p.m. $75$105. 1010 Nicollet Mall, Minneapolis. More info here.Rick Mason

Complete Sunday music listings here.

Read the original here:
The weekend's best concerts: Oct. 4-6 - City Pages

As the CEO, communication to the people in your organization often involves framing a situation in a fashion that promotes its greatest chance for success. That said, framing is more than just a euphemism for seeing the glass as half-full versus half-empty. Its not spin. And its not simply only about approaching a challenge with a positive attitude. Proper framing can dramatically alter your employees mindset for meeting difficult challenges. Moreover, it will give your team members the fuel it takes to meet those challenges over the long haul. This is why its worth serious consideration.

The wonderful thing about surrounding yourself with great people is that they will teach you transformational techniques that can help you frame and reframe your particular circumstance. It works in life and in business. Heres an example of how a small change in mindset can deliver big results.

When I was in my late thirties, I ran my first marathon. While I never expected to run a second marathon, I became intrigued by the challenge and eventually ran another 12 such races over the next five years. Marathon training typically runs about 16-18 weeks, and during each of those weeks, proper race preparation typically requires a long run day roughly 12 miles or more. Sometimes, on those long run days, if I wasnt feeling 100% physically or was just mentally beaten down by the distance, I would stop. Then Id walk for a while and start running again until I couldnt run anymore and repeat the process until the end of the workout. This is how most people who are determined to finish make it when theyre just having one of those days. While I may have completed the distance using this method, the experience was not only debilitating during the run, but also didnt help my confidence or do much to build my mental toughness for the next time.

Upon sharing my plight with another runner, he told me that this can happen to anyone, but that I was thinking about it all wrong. He said that if I have to stop and walk, thats fine, but when I start running again, dont run until I cant go another step. When I do that, Im engaging in a mental exercise of repeated failure. Instead, when I feel good enough to start running again, look ahead and spot a tree or a stop sign. Set that as your goal. Run to it and declare victory. Start walking again, and when youre ready, identify another marker. Run to that and call it a win. He advised that declaring victory, rather than succumbing to repeated defeats, would help me finish more quickly and with a healthier attitude. It put me in control of the run instead of the run controlling me. The recurring victories would actually bolster my confidence for the future.

I later offered this advice to my daughter Kristin during her first attempt at running a half marathon. I saw her with about two miles to go, and she was struggling. While I was loath to provide tips during a race, I explained the declare victory versus admit defeat approach to getting across the finish line. She tried it and was extremely grateful for the way this small change in mindset helped her complete the race that day.

Now think about this strategy from a business perspective. You set a lofty goal, have a solid plan to achieve that goal, and then set forth on your journey with all the energy in the world. As you run into difficulties along the way, your enthusiasm yields to your current circumstances and the reality of the long slog ahead. You start to believe that the situation is controlling you, instead of the other way around. When this happens, dont be afraid to walk for a bit, set a short-term goal, achieve that goal, declare victory, and set a new short-term goal.

John Kotter, professor emeritus at Harvard Business School, has written extensively about the importance of generating and recognizing small wins. The advice on running I received from my peer is simply a metaphor for why its so effective regardless of the situation.

The point was underscored by Jim Kouzes, one of the worlds most prolific authors on leadership, during his appearance on my Year of the Peer podcast in 2017. Jim shared the story of the first amputee to climb Mt. Rainier (14,210 feet), Bennett accomplished this feat with one leg and two crutches. Kouzes said, When we first interviewed Don, I asked him, How did you make that climb? And he looked down at his one foot, one good leg, and he said, Well, I imagined myself being on top of that mountain one thousand times in my mind every day, so I would have a clear vision of the future. But when I started to climb it, I looked at my one good leg and thought, anyone could hop from here to there, and so I did. And so, Don took it one step at a time. We dont have to think about our goal as one giant leap ahead, we take it one hop at a time, make one small improvement at a time.

Bennets blindness did not obscure his ability to see and frame his situation clearly. And because of this, he accomplished something most people would never even try. By taking the time to carefully frame your toughest challenges for yourself and your organization, you can improve your ability to successfully address whats next in this world whatever that may be. Surround yourself with people who will help you do that and then do what you do best lead!

Have you read?

# Countries With The Highest Average Life Expectancies In 2030.# The Worlds Best Performing Companies 2019.# The Worlds Safest Cities Ranking, 2019.# Worlds Most Luxurious Hotels, 2019.

Read the original post:
The CEO And The Art Of Framing - CEOWORLD magazine