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1903 shipwreck discovered, identified after ‘quarantine investigation’ done by MSRA, beachcomber – WZZM13.com

Posted: April 25, 2020 at 5:47 am


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HOLLAND, Mich. When it comes to lost vessels on the Great Lakes, there's one certaintythey'll be found when they want to be found.

Thanks to the curiosity of a beachcomber and coaching via FaceTime by members of the Michigan Shipwreck Research Association (who were hundreds of miles away), a 1903 wreck has been discovered and identified.

Not even a coronavirus quarantine could stop it.

A strong storm on April 19, 2020 swept through Michigan's Upper Peninsula, churning up the sand along Lake Michigan's shoreline on the eastern side of Garden Peninsula.

A beachcomber, walking along the shoreline south of Manistique, discovered and helped identify a shipwreck that had emerged from the sand.

MSRA

A beachcomber, walking along the shoreline south of Manistique, discovered and helped identify a shipwreck that had emerged from the sand.

MSRA

A beachcomber, walking along the shoreline south of Manistique discovered and helped identify a shipwreck that had emerged from the sand.

MSRA

The next day, a beachcomber, who wishes to remain anonymous, was walking along the shoreline near his home, located south of Manistique, and saw what appeared to be the bones of a shipwreck emerging from the sand.

The beachcomber's curiosity led him to contact the Michigan Maritime Museum in South Haven, who then put him in contact with the MSRA.

The beachcomber, who discovered then collaborated with the MSRA to help identify the R. Kanters shipwreck, wishes to remain anonymous.

MSRA

"He's a longtime homeowner who had walked that beach many times and says he'd never seen any evidence of the ship before," said Craig Rich, author and co-director of the MSRA.

In normal times, members of the MSRA would quickly get into their vehicles and head to the wrecksite to conduct a comprehensive investigation, but the stay at home order for the COVID-19 pandemic would not allow that to happen.

Additionally, MSRA members also knew, based on their experience with wrecks similar to this one, it would soon be reclaimed by the shifting sands.

Something had to be done or this wreck could be lost for another century.

Valerie van Heest, who is also one MSRA's co-directors, decided she would try to coach the beachcomber through all of the processes of a shipwreck investigation, via FaceTime from her home in Holland.

"I was the go-between," said van Heest, who is also an author, explorer and museum designer. "I directed the man to do everything we would have done had we been able to travel up there to do a survey."

The beachcomber took several pictures, videos and measurements of the site. He pounded metal rods into the ground to see how far the ship extended under the sand

"For an amateur, he did a thorough job of measuring and getting us the information we needed to positively identify the ship," said Rich.

Rich and van Heest say they spent scoured over all of the imagery and data the man was able to provide. They both researched, cross-referencing the information with known ships that were reported to have gone missing in that area around the 1903 time frame.

The MSRA went public with the identification of the shipwreck on Thursday.

"The location of the ship was exactly right; the length of the ship was right; the date of the structure of the ship was right for it to be the R. Kanters,"said Rich.

The R. Kanters schooner traveled the Great Lakes hauling various cargoes. It called both Holland. and Grand Haven home.

MSRA

The R. Kanters was a schooner that traveled the Great Lakes in the late 1800s, hauling various cargoes. It ran out of both Holland and Grand Haven.

On September 7, 1903, the R. Kantersleft Manistique heading south on Lake Michigan and ran into a storm, and ended up grounding, where it hadn't been seen for 117 years.

"We haven't heard of any loss of life," said Rich. "But we know there was a five-person crew on board."

It was named after its owner, Rokus Kanters, who also happened to be the mayor of Holland from 1885-1886.

The R. Kanters schooner was named after its owner, Rokus Kanters, who happened to serve as the mayor of Hollanf, Mi. from 1885-1886.

MSRA

"His portrait is currently hanging up in the hallway of Holland's City Hall," added Rich.

After being exposed for only three days, the R. Kanters wrecksite is already being reclaimed by the shifting sands of Lake Michigan, but thanks to an observant beachcomber, a piece of Michigan's maritime history no longer is a mystery.

"I was really glad that we were able to identify the ship and tell this story," said Rich.

To learn more about the rich history of the R. Kanters,click HERE.

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1903 shipwreck discovered, identified after 'quarantine investigation' done by MSRA, beachcomber - WZZM13.com

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April 25th, 2020 at 5:47 am

Posted in Life Coaching

Matters of the mind key to athletes riding out coronavirus – Kyodo News Plus

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Even during the coronavirus crisis it's business as usual for Hayato Suzuki, a certified mental coach who helps amateur and professional athletes learn psychological techniques to get the most out of their physical abilities.

"There's nothing more important than preserving life. Not even sports," Suzuki told Kyodo News from his Tokyo home during Japan's coronavirus-necessitated state of emergency period.

"Saving lives is the top priority, not playing sports. I tell athletes there are things we can and cannot control, and right now, we focus on what we can control. We can't stop training facilities from being shut down, but we can find new ways to train."

Likewise, for athletes who spend a large part of the competitive season traveling, Suzuki says it's a perfect opportunity to organize their home as a clear space means a clear mind. Organizing gives people a sense of control over their environment, he says.

"Many athletes have the scarcity mentality: there's no gym equipment, there's not enough space, there's no team workouts, there's no this, there's no that. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you'll be much more effective," he says.

(Supplied photo shows sports mental coach Hayato Suzuki (R) and his client Ayumi Uekusa at the Karate-1 Series A meet in Okinawa in November 2017.) [Photo courtesy of Hayato Suzuki]

Unlike most mental skills coaches who teach their athletes how to attain a winning mindset and perform in the zone, Suzuki asks his 30 clients who range in age between 15 and 33 about everything in life, from how clean their rooms are to how healthy their gut cells are.

He takes his coaching beyond formal sessions, using casual interactions such as drives to and from competition venues and text messages to check in and see how athletes are feeling. He always makes sure they have their mental checklists ready to go.

He does "whatever it takes to help athletes work on their mental edge," and sometimes that means referring them to nutritionists or physical trainers, or even recommending movies, his favorite two being Pixar kids flick "Inside Out" and cult sci-fi classic "The Matrix."

Even before the coronavirus struck, his clients were given a choice of self-paced or guided sessions using video conferencing, so to Suzuki, remote coaching has not been a stretch.

In fact, the demand for his members-only online community is growing and he says he is thinking about expanding his web-based business.

"With so many athletes facing uncertainty, right now the most common questions I get are 'What am I supposed to do?' and 'How do I stay motivated?' They're training without an obvious goal and feeling like they're training in limbo," he said.

Among his clients is female karateka Ayumi Uekusa, who qualified for the Tokyo Olympics in March, just weeks before the International Olympic Committee and local organizers in Tokyo announced that the games would be postponed until 2021.

(Japanese karateka Ayumi Uekusa (red) competes at the karate national championships at Takasaki Arena in December 2019.)

In a teleconference interview with Kyodo News, Uekusa said she is not pretending to be tough when she says that the Olympic postponement is no big deal.

"I've been doing karate for as long as I can remember. If I've waited 28 years, what's another year? I'm not giving up now," said Uekusa, who has been coached by Suzuki for about seven years.

"I can't change the situation. We're all in this together. I'm going to spend the next year perfecting my tsuki (thrusting technique). I'll practice it over and over until it becomes automatic, like brushing my teeth."

Uekusa said she used to have a tendency toward negative thinking, but Suzuki helped her break the habit by teaching her how to be careful with her word choice and how to set and focus on specific goals.

Suzuki also advocates having backup plans to deal with unforeseen changes, a life-hack that makes periods of uncertainty like these easier.

Now, Uekusa, who is making the most of her at-home time, holds Disney movie nights and takes Sundays off. She consciously incorporates positive language into her everyday conversations and "points the arrow inward" when she notices herself getting jittery over things she cannot change.

"In my case, it's a combat sport, so it's not about setting times and records, like swimming. So the extra year could be an advantage. I'm going to get stronger. I'm going to think, talk and act like a champion, so I can become one."

Creating a champion mindset is what she and Suzuki, who is also a motivational speaker and author of six books, have been working on since their very first session.

[Photo courtesy of Hayato Suzuki]

Uekusa says she wants to be a dominant champion. She wants to be loved by fans and to be a fighter who will never hold grudges against judges and referees for a lost point because her win is so clear-cut.

Competitors at the most elite level require more than technical and tactical support, and Uekusa got lucky when she accidentally came across Suzuki's Twitter feed as a university student. Now, Suzuki is her friend, mentor and unwavering supporter.

The current stay-at-home restrictions may be more difficult for athletes to handle than the general population, given that they are already more vulnerable to mental health issues during their career, usually due to injuries or retirement at a relatively young age.

Suzuki had been diagnosed as clinically depressed before he launched his current business nine years ago. So he knows firsthand that the inability to cope with the experience of "not knowing" can cause mental health problems.

The 36-year-old says coping with adversity is a component of mental toughness, and mental toughness is an attitude. The same mental skills that athletes use in achieving success in sports can be used to achieve success in other areas of their lives, he says.

He knows the challenges caused by the coronavirus crisis can make or break an Olympic athlete, and he is aware of the power that he wields as a mental coach.

"I encourage athletes to be active on social media platforms. This is our time to connect. Are you an athlete looking for motivation? Get involved and help others. Helping others is one of the best ways of helping yourself."

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Matters of the mind key to athletes riding out coronavirus - Kyodo News Plus

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April 25th, 2020 at 5:47 am

Posted in Life Coaching

Coronavirus | Influencing? In this economy? Its only gotten more competitive – Moneycontrol.com

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Alyson Stoner, 26, is an actress whose credits include various Disney and Nickelodeon productions. She has also independently developed an online audience of over one million who turn to her for advice about wellness and creativity.

Last month, as Hollywood sets went dark, her second career ramped up. By mid-March she was feeling caught in a hamster wheel of work. Thats when she got a call from Josh Zimmerman, her life coach.

Zimmerman, 35, helped Stoner prioritise her projects and narrow the scope of her responsibilities. Within 24 hours of their call, she had a plan for a timely series about grief, gratitude and self-reflection called 14 Days of Mindfulness, which she would share on Instagram Live and YouTube.

To track all live updates from the coronavirus pandemic, click here

She shelved other projects that were taking up too much time. I reclaimed my mornings, and that structure has allowed me to maintain a sense of stability and sanity during quarantine, she said.

Zimmerman has, in the course of two years, become a go-to adviser for creators. Through one-on-one coaching sessions, conducted via Zoom even in the absence of a pandemic, he has helped dozens of people navigate their lives as influencers.

What a lot of people dont understand is that the process of making content is stressful and very lonely, Zimmerman said.

Zimmerman is not an agent. He doesnt help clients negotiate brand deals or take a cut of their revenue. He is not a therapist either. He is a life coach, and he is very upfront about the difference.

I work on anything the talent wants to work on, unless it veers into mental health, he said.

While a therapist might help an influencer diagnose mental health issues that arise from the emotional toll that comes with being in the public eye, Zimmerman develops tactical solutions, like career planning and focus techniques.

When I see what Josh is doing, it seems very unique but fills a very specific need in the creator community, said Earnest Pettie, a trends insights lead at YouTube. Its no secret that some of the best performing executives have executive coaches. Creators are an emerging class of media professionals, and so its great to see them engage with experts who can provide support and resources to help them remain productive in a positive way.

Zimmermans role feels especially vital now, in the midst of a health crisis that has sent half the world home for an indefinite period and glued many of them to their phones. The pandemic has been a boon for influencers who can provide actionable advice to followers in the coronavirus era fitness coaches, food bloggers and medical professionals, for example but those in other sectors, such as travel and fashion, have collectively lost millions in brand deals and ad revenue.

Most creators have continued working, business as usual or even more than usual. In a time when everything is shutting down and businesses are closing, the general populace is turning more to entertainment and media, Stoner said.

And the competition is fierce. Youre putting out more content, but your audience has been diluted because theres all these other people going live at the same time or putting new stuff out, Zimmerman said. Youre trying even harder to get those eyeballs and the money is not coming in as it should be, and maybe the brand deals youve relied on have disappeared.

There are also platform changes to navigate. YouTube initially demonetised any video mentioning COVID-19, prompting YouTube stars to steer clear of the coronavirus as a topic.

It scared a lot of my clients from putting anything out there because they didnt want to get demonetised, even for spreading the word about helping people stay inside and stay safe, Zimmerman said. Theres been an onslaught of creators who are uncertain and really reaching out for structure in their lives.

YouTube later reversed its decision. As COVID-19 has become a part of our everyday lives, we want to support creators and news organisations covering this important topic, a company spokesperson said in an emailed statement. As previously announced, weve expanded monetisation of COVID-19 content to all creators in the YouTube Partner Program.

Many creators turn to Zimmerman because of his rsum; he has worked in the influencer space for years and knows the ins and outs of the business.

In 2013, Zimmerman took a job clearing video rights for YouTube Nation, a YouTube news show with more than 2 million subscribers, and fell headfirst into the world of YouTube stars. I had no idea who any of these creators were at first, but I really came to admire them, he said. Within three years, Zimmerman had founded his own management firm, JZ Management.

He liked working with creators and was struck by the toll creating content and growing a personal brand took on them. His father has worked as a life coach for high-profile business executives for years, and in 2018, Zimmerman decided to follow in his footsteps. He founded CreatorCoach.com, declaring himself the first-ever life coach dedicated to creators.

That same year, burnout became an open topic of discussion. A handful of top YouTubers announced they would be taking a break from the platform. Some influencers left the business or quit the internet entirely. The raison dtre of CreatorCoach became clearer.

Influencers face a unique set of challenges. Creators dont separate from their work because they are their work, Zimmerman said. We go home and turn our computers off; they are their own brand. They are their own IP. Theyre never off, which leads to fatigue and a whole bunch of things that are not helpful to the creative process.

He said that the pressures the crisis has created uncertainty about money, uncertainty about who you can trust, uncertainty about staying relevant have made the job all the more consuming.

Plus, fans expect a level of responsiveness and intimacy that most celebrities dont offer. Consequently, many influencers have been inundated with messages asking for help or advice on how to handle the current moment.

Its the juxtaposition of businesses shutting down, but everyone wanting more from us, said Stoner, asking us to be the connection that they cant get anywhere else. One misstep could lead to massive online backlash.

While some people have suggested that the pandemic may mark the end of influencer culture, Collin Colburn, a Senior Analyst at Forrester, a market research and advisory firm, begs to differ.

I dont think its the end of anything, he said. There could be a collapse in print advertising; there could be a collapse in out of home advertising; there could be a collapse in influencer marketing. I dont think any of them are going away.

Zimmerman agreed. This is not the end of influencers or creators, he said.

Such opinions, he said, disregard the range of ideas, interests, platforms and demographics influencers represent. Theres quilting creators; theres woodworking creators; theres anything you can think of. Any hobby, any idea, there is an influencer or someone making content, Zimmerman said.

The pandemic has even turned more people into online creators. Late-night hosts are now vlogging, noncelebrities have begun livestreaming on Instagram and #withme videos, where people bring viewers along for often mundane daily tasks, have seen a 600 percent spike in viewership since the pandemic hit.

Follow our full coverage of the coronavirus pandemic here

But ad revenues will undoubtedly tighten, and certain sectors of the creator community may face trouble. If you look at past crises or recessions, its just a recalibration of the marketing budget, Colburn said. Maybe influencers will command less of the budget than they did before, but there will always be brands who want to engage these people who have influence over their followings.

Zimmerman said hes started working with some clients pro bono in light of their lost revenue. He wants to help as many people as he can during these uncertain and chaotic times. The industry is moving at lightning speed, and every hour its different, he said. Everyone is like, Its a marathon, not a sprint, but its a marathon at 100 miles an hour.

c.2020 The New York Times Company

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Coronavirus | Influencing? In this economy? Its only gotten more competitive - Moneycontrol.com

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April 25th, 2020 at 5:47 am

Posted in Life Coaching

Klein was Ferdinand’s last basketball coach – The Herald

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BY COREY STOLZENBACHsports@dcherald.com

His teams at Ferdinand never won a sectional championship when he was there. Not only that, but those teams had the dubious distinction of losing to the eventual champion in the sectional tournament three of the four years he manned the program.

Those tough losses still resonate with Larry Klein almost 50 years after coaching the final basketball game in Crusaders history in the 1971 sectional tournament against Jasper. Klein remains good friends with his former assistant coach at Ferdinand, Jim Hagedorn. Theyll get together once a month, and still talk about the times when they coached together. Its always the same, though. The Crusaders never won a sectional under Klein or any other coach, for that matter.

Larry Klein

When you look back on your career, the time that you spend coaching, the games that you seem to recall the most are the hard losses, Klein said.

Its not all negative, though, far from it. Hes proud of how well his players competed when they played against the Evansville schools the Crusaders went a combined 7-1 against Mater Dei and Rex Mundi when he led the way.

Having a lack of size was a common theme for his teams at Ferdinand, but Klein went 54-30 in his four seasons as the head coach of the Crusaders. All four of those teams finished with a winning record.

We were kind of dedicated, too, to have a winning season, a winning year, when it was all over, the year was over, we could look back and say, We were a winner, and you can carry that with you for the rest of your life, he said.

Klein coached different sports at Ferdinand baseball, cross country, track and, later, golf at Forest Park, but basketball was his real passion. He was already acclimated to the Ferdinand basketball program as an assistant coach, first under Jim Wahl and then Ben Finley. Finley resigned after his only season in 1966-67 to become a head coach in Henderson, Ky., and Klein took over from there.

He was already familiar with the players and he thought he was ready to step into that position. Klein learned a lot from Wahl and Finley, lauding both of them for their dedication and running good programs. He thought Finley promoted a conservative style of basketball, which he changed when he took over the team.

That wasnt what I really liked to do, Klein said When I came in, we picked up the pace. We didnt have the 3-point shot back then, but we scored a lot of points.

Ferdinand started 2-0 in 1967-68, but Woody Neels Holland Dutchmen proved to be foil for Kleins Crusaders, both that year and afterward. Holland went undefeated that regular season, won a sectional championship and was the last undefeated team at the state of Indiana largely at Ferdinands expense.

The Crusaders played the Dutchmen close. Ferdinand took Holland to overtime in the first meeting, but a 63-60 defeat in overtime put the Crusaders in the loss column for the first time that season. They held a 53-52 lead against the Dutchmen in the county tournament, but then threw a pass out of bounds. A Gary Dougan basket won the game for Holland, 54-53.

Ferdinand got one more shot at Holland in the sectional championship. Stan Ruhe sank a free throw to give the Crusaders a 49-44 edge with 3:04 to go in the fourth quarter of the sectional title game. However, Holland overwhelmed Ferdinand with its full-court press and went on a 10-0 run. The Crusaders made it a one-point game, but could not reclaim the lead. Final score: Holland 57, Ferdinand 53.

I felt that we could handle their press, but I probably shouldve called timeout sooner than what I did, but I just felt that we were good enough to handle that press, but we made a couple of turnovers right close toward the end of the game, Klein said.

Four players for the Crusaders made the all-sectional team: Ruhe, Lee Begle, Dennis Verkamp and Paul Niehaus, but Hollands Don Buse led the sectional with 63 points, 14 more than the second-highest total Begles 49 points. Buse wouldnt be around for 1968-69, when the Crusaders roared for much of the regular season.

Klein thought this team, of the four, was the best. He praised their shooting and balance, and they could pass and shoot without turning the ball over much. Klein thought Ferdinand had a lot of confidence that it could beat anybody following the 1967-68 sectional runner-up finish, and that carried over into the next year.

However, Ferdinand also lost three of its final five games, ending the year at 16-4. The Crusaders met Holland in the sectional, but the Dutchmen once again stomped out Ferdinands season, this time in the teams first sectional game. Holland totaled 38 points in the fourth quarter, pulling away from Ferdinand, 88-66.

Ruhe and Verkamp both graduated in 1969, but Klein thought the 1969-70 campaign was a really good year. The Crusaders went 14-7 despite not having size. He thought Ferdinand played hard and tried to win as many games as it could.

Ferdinand got some production out of Ed Gudorf, who averaged 14.8 points per game as a senior in the regular season, and 11 points per game from junior Pat Lueken.

However, the big fish for the Crusaders that year was senior Tom Weyer, who scored 411 regular-season points with an average of 20.6 points per game. Klein lauded Weyer as a terrific shooter.

We had some certain plays set up for him, get him wide open, because if we got him open for a shot, hed probably make half of them or more, he said of Weyer.

The Crusaders faced Huntingburg in the 1970 sectional. The Hunters finished the regular season 10-10, but got off to 11-1 and 15-3 starts against Ferdinand. The Crusaders didnt surrender that easily, grabbing a 22-21 lead, but that proved to be their only one.

Ferdinand tied Huntingburg multiple times after that. However, the Hunters began to pull away on an 8-0 run after a 40-40 tie. Ferdinand would close the gap to 64-61 before Huntingburg finished on a 10-2 run. The Hunters won the game and eventually the sectional.

I think our size kinda caught up with us in that game, Klein said. And then the next year, when we played Jasper (a 77-53 loss), I think it was pretty much the same thing. We just didnt have very many tall players those last two years I had.

Thered be no fifth season with Klein and the Crusaders. Ferdinand and Birdseye consolidated into Forest Park for the 1971-72 year, and its been that way ever since. Hagedorn remained on as an assistant, but Klein declined to pursue the coaching position with the Rangers. He wanted to spend more time with his family and take classes to earn his masters degree.

It wasnt easy, he said. It was a hard decision. I felt really good about my service to the sports program, and thought it was time to move on.

Klein, 80, is a retired math teacher. He left Forest Park in 1997, but still taught on a part-time basis for the next 10 years, and now hes grazing in the fields. He lauded the camaraderie his players had with the Crusaders, and that camaraderie has remained intact for decades.

He held his 50th wedding anniversary Mass at Jaspers St. Josephs Church. Family members and close friends were on hand to attend the event. However, Klein turned around and looked back during the Mass. He saw some familiar faces who werent invited, but were a pleasant surprise. It was the starting five of the final Ferdinand team he coached in 1970-71 and their wives in attendance to witness the event.

Boy, you talk about something meaningful and really touching, that was special. But I think it goes back to how well we all got along back when we were competing, Klein said.

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Klein was Ferdinand's last basketball coach - The Herald

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April 25th, 2020 at 5:47 am

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Shepparton life coaching helping parents through COVID-19 with free online sessions – Shepparton News

Posted: April 23, 2020 at 11:51 am


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A Shepparton life coach will be offering parents free online sessions to help them communicate with their teenagers more effectively through isolation and home learning.

Life and business coach Glenn Irvine has received funding to move his Parent as Coach workshop online, where he will share coaching tools to assist parents in identifying and improving the ways they communicate with their children.

He said coaching skills would be useful for parents or guardians struggling to comprehend their changing role in the home due to COVID-19.

Were trying to be teachers, but were not teachers, he said.

Coaching is the best way of getting information out of a young person, by helping them understand what they want, actions they need to come up with, and how to problem solve.

Because of the isolation situation were in, weve got a great opportunity to engage our kids.

He said all participants could join a closed Facebook group afterwards, where they could continue to receive free guidance and advice.

The single father of four is an accredited life and business coach, and has been running sessions for teenagers in schools throughout the region for 15 years.

He hopes his classes will give parents and guardians the skills to find new ways to connect with their kids through COVID-19 isolation, and beyond.

I hope they feel more confident to engage their young person, he said.

Because of technology, its harder now than ever to engage a young person because theyre focused on their devices.

To get them to communicate better is the key goal.

The workshop will be run as a two-part session on Wednesday, April 29 and Wednesday, May 6, starting at 7:30pm.

He said while the upcoming workshops would be capped at 20 participants, he would be offering free sessions in the future to cater to demand.

To register, visit http://www.glennirvine.com.au/parent-as-coach

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Shepparton life coaching helping parents through COVID-19 with free online sessions - Shepparton News

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April 23rd, 2020 at 11:51 am

Posted in Life Coaching

Enneagram tests are having a moment. Thank millennials – Los Angeles Times

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Emily Rickard was at a casual dinner party in Riverside three years ago when a friend, a professor, mentioned a word that would change her life.

Enneagram.

The professor had recently learned about the personality test and wondered if anyone had experience with it. Rickard was immediately intrigued. And perplexed.

She has a masters in psychology and a longtime fascination with personality inventories (think: Myers-Briggs), so she couldnt believe that there was a system she hadnt heard of. Back at home, she researched the Enneagram (pronounced ANY-uh-gram) model and how it breaks people into nine archetypes designated by a number, and sometimes a one-word nickname (The Peacemaker, The Enthusiast, The Challenger, The Investigator).

The 37-year-old, who lives in Moreno Valley with her three boys, whom she home-schools, and her husband, a teacher who also helps pastor a church in Riverside, quickly pinned herself as a Nine The Peacemaker. (Figuring out your type often starts with an online assessment that asks you to agree or disagree with generic statements, such as I want people to tell me the truth, not spare my feelings.)

As she read about the Nines key motivations avoiding conflict and maintaining harmony, sometimes by putting others interests ahead of your own she flashed back to her childhood and how, when her parents argued, she felt like the world might end. She thought, too, about the times her husband insisted that she pick a dinner spot, and she simply shrugged, elevating his cravings above hers.

The epiphany brought her to tears, feeling as if her authentic self had, at last, been fully recognized. Soon she enrolled in a 12-week, online course offered by a company called Your Enneagram Coach, that, for about $1,000, promised an overview of the nine types, as well as help setting up a freelance gig as a life coach teaching from the Enneagram perspective. Now, she runs a coaching service called NextGen Enneagram, offering a $350 package that includes a 30-minute, pinpoint-your-type interview and six longer one-on-one meetings.

Once you get the Enneagram bug, she says, its kind of contagious.

Actually, quite contagious.

Sixteen years of Google searches show that the number of people looking up Enneagram hovered at the same level until 2017, when it spiked drastically, topping out last summer. In August, for the first time in its history, the Narrative Enneagram, a nonprofit that teaches students how to use the model, sold almost every space at six workshops in Menlo Park, according to founding president Terry Saracino, who has taught the Enneagram for more than 30 years.

The Enneagram is exploding, she said. Expanding like crazy.

The boom, which until the pandemic broke out involved people gathering for Enneagram parties and workshops, is part of the same contemporary phenomenon that some observers connect to the resurgence of astrology in turbulent times, some people find comfort in the rituals of their religion or other, less traditional, belief systems. When the world feels especially chaotic, said Fran Grace, a professor of religious studies at the University of Redlands, we crave tools that help us change the one thing we can control ourselves.

Its the inner path, Grace said. How can I be a place of peace?

Emily Rickard discusses the Enneagram at a gathering in the fall at her friends home in Riverside.

(Ana Venegas / For The Times)

Like many other Enneagram converts, Rickard is something of a personal-development junkie. She saw a marriage and family therapist during grad school, knows her Myers-Briggs type by heart and recently met with a woman who coaches people using neurolinguistic programming, a self-help therapy that sometimes uses hypnotic techniques.

And while she recognizes that some of the Enneagrams allure is its trendiness Its popular right now, so go with it, right? she says with a laugh she finds the model less stagnant and more growth-oriented than other personality systems and believes that it will stand the test of time.

::

Mention the word Enneagram in a group or DISC or Myers-Briggs or any of the hundreds of tests that distill personalities into a color or a number or an animal and youll almost always spot at least one person rolling their eyes, convinced its all well-packaged nonsense. Personality tests, skeptics have long argued, are nothing more than pseudoscience that create a buyer-beware world of little regulation where anyone can call themselves an expert.

The Enneagram itself has ancient, but murky, roots: Some adherents trace it back to a 4th century monk and the same underlying concept as the seven deadly sins. Others see similarities between the Enneagrams nine-pointed figure and a symbol used in ancient Sufism.

1/9

The Reformer/Perfectionist: Ones are disciplined, self-controlled people who are afraid of making mistakes and feel compelled to leave the world better than they found it. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

2/9

The Helper/Giver: Twos are generous and empathetic people who can be prone to people-pleasing. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

3/9

The Achiever/Performer: Threes are energetic, make-it-happen people who care deeply about being admired. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

4/9

The Individualist/Romantic: Fours are idealistic and intense people who crave authenticity. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

5/9

The Investigator/Observer: Fives are analytical, self-reliant and, at times, detached. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

6/9

The Loyalist/Loyal Skeptic: Sixes are dutiful, diligent people who can be prone to distrust. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

7/9

The Enthusiast/Epicure: Sevens are peppy, at times scattered, people who love the thrill of a new opportunity. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

8/9

The Challenger/Protector: Eights are self-assured and intense people who are perturbed by indecisiveness and injustice. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

9/9

The Peacemaker/Mediator: Nines are accepting, go-with-the-flow people whose longing for harmony sometimes causes them to acquiesce to others desires. (Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

But the modern interpretation is credited to Bolivian-born philosopher Oscar Ichazo, and one of his students, a Berkeley-based psychiatrist, who, in the 1970s, helped popularize the Enneagram in the U.S. By 1994, the model had gained at least enough credence that Stanford Medical Schools psychiatry department co-sponsored the first International Enneagram Conference, drawing more than a thousand people to Palo Alto.

From there, the framework found pockets of popularity with self-help devotees and in Corporate America, where some companies used the tool to build rapport among employees. It also gained traction in some Christian circles, propelled, in part, by a book on the topic by an influential Franciscan priest named Richard Rohr. Then, thanks to millennials, it exploded into the mainstream in the last few years. In many ways, the tool, which isnt tied to a specific religion, seems tailor-made for a spiritual-but-not-religious generation that grew up on BuzzFeed quizzes and branding.

Milton Stewart, podcast host for Do It For the Gram

Enneagram evangelists tout it as a self-discovery tool that will help you understand your strengths and limitations, spot patterns you fall into during stress and communicate more clearly. Its not about fundamentally altering yourself or trying to morph into another type that, theyll remind you, is impossible anyway but about living more consciously with the hand youve been dealt.

In a world saturated with self-help tools, its the Enneagrams digestibility that sets it apart.

The nine archetypes are easy to distill into cute and encouraging memes, like the ones shared to half a million followers on the @enneagramandcoffee Instagram account or the GIFs of puppies and Enneagram jokes tweeted by the @Enneadog account. Companies capitalizing on the craze now claim to know the best smoothie bowl and iPhone app for each type and there are more than 20 different podcasts with Enneagram in their title, including one called Do It For the Gram hosted by Milton Stewart, a Seven (The Enthusiast.)

Column One

A showcase for compelling storytelling from the Los Angeles Times

The 30-year-old, who lives in Memphis and proudly calls himself The Enneagram Guy, says the tool is a natural fit for him, and fellow millennials who want to move beyond discussions of success and toward a loftier goal: True happiness.

The Enneagram helps people get to what is greater, he said. To be really internally happy, peaceful, content.

Another part of the Enneagrams appeal is that nobody owns it.

A few well-established groups, such as the Enneagram Institute and the Narrative Enneagram, host intensive workshops, some of which can cost into the thousands of dollars. (In a club exploding with newbie converts, groups that started talking about the Enneagram decades ago carry a certain cachet.)

But people can also research for free online and label themselves a guru.

Theres no overarching body that says, You cant say youre an Enneagram expert, said Micky ScottBey Jones, 42, a Nashville-area Enneagram trainer, who got certified through an extensive online program taught by the School of Conscious Living in Cincinnati.

The lack of quality control is problematic, Jones acknowledged, because someone with only a cursory understanding of the Enneagram could call themselves a trainer and start charging money. And when the tool is used without nuance, she said, discussions can devolve into deterministic stereotypes.

Oh, you think youre perfect? Jones recalls her ex-husband quipping at her, knowing she was a One, sometimes nicknamed The Perfectionist. The opposite was true, she told him, Ones have the fiercest inner critic of any number.

Think of the lines on the Enneagram figure as arrows explaining the directions each personality type moves in times of stress and growth. So, when a Nine is stressed, they resemble an unhealthy Six, but when theyre thriving, they look like a healthy Three.

(Peter and Maria Hoey / For The Times)

Its not a party trick, she said.

It takes serious research to understand the tools subtleties, Jones said, and to account for the cultural biases inherent in some of the quizzes and trainings. As with anything, she said, Enneagram teachers interpret the world through the lens of their own lives and, historically, at least in the U.S., most instructors have been white.

When Jones, who is black, first started having conversations about the Enneagram, other people told her, and she initially agreed, that she was probably an Eight (The Challenger). But she later realized that that was a common mistyping among black women one she believes is rooted in stereotypes about black women as angry and strong. While she is a leader with a strong personality traits often found in Eights a key aspect was off: She doesnt freely express her anger. As a One (aka Perfectionist), shes prone to tamp the emotion down.

One way to weed out your true type, Enneagram experts say, is to read all nine descriptions and focus on the one that unsettles or embarrasses you. That was how Paden Hughes the 33-year-old CEO of Gymnazo, a workout facility in San Luis Obispo ultimately discovered her type. She initially thought she might be an Eight, but realized she was a Three (The Achiever) after learning that, at their lowest, Threes are prone to shape-shifting and manipulation.

Its the side of you that you dont want anyone to see, Hughes said. But recognizing that side, she believes, spurs growth.

She implemented the Enneagram with her then 15-person staff more than a year ago and, so far, she said, the employees have liked it more than other personality-typing tools theyd tried together, including Myers-Briggs and Strengths Finder.

Attendees broke into groups to discuss personality types during the Enneagram workshop in Riverside.

(Ana Venegas / For The Times)

On a Saturday morning last fall, Hughes gym hosted a two-hour Enneagram workshop led by Joy Pedersen a 41-year-old life coach and certified Enneagram instructor who has a doctorate in educational leadership.

I want us to do introductions, Pedersen said softly, asking each of the participants to share a fun fact about themselves, as well as their experience with the Enneagram and what they hoped to get from the workshop.

First up was a 38-year-old preschool teacher fun fact: Shes from Fargo, N.D. who said she knew almost nothing about the Enneagram, but that she kept seeing the word on Instagram. Then a 59-year-old commercial real estate agent fun fact: she has anxiety from a lack of fun facts said she struggled with understanding people and hoped to improve her communication skills.

Oooh, Pedersen said, smiling, that gets me really excited.

The next day, a different group a crew of 18 men and women packed into a living room in Riverside for an Enneagram party led by Rickard, the devotee who lives in Moreno Valley.

Dressed in a sparkly T-shirt and exuding the loud, stay-with-me energy of someone who spends her time home-schooling a trio of young boys, Rickard clapped three times. The crowd her friends, her friends friends and a few strangers whod learned about the event online quieted.

So, Rickard said, squirming with excitement, who has heard of the Enneagram?

Eighteen hands popped up.

Who is obsessed with it like me? she asked.

Rickards friends, her friends friends and a few strangers whod learned about the event online attended the workshop.

(Ana Venegas / For The Times)

When only four hands stayed raised, Rickard inched her eyebrows up and down several times, as if to say, Challenge accepted.

Some Christians are leery about the Enneagram because its not derived directly from the Bible, Rickard said, but that doesnt bother her or her husband, a pastor at a nondenominational Christian church. Nothing about it contradicts their beliefs, she says, or those of any of the other world religions shes studied.

Anything that gives you insight into how youre made can be helpful, she said.

As Rickard outlined the types in a PowerPoint presentation, a mother, who was bouncing her baby on her knee, asked if women with young children ever get mistyped as Twos (The Helper). Rickard nodded, saying women and particularly women in religious communities are often mistyped because selflessness is a trait theyre taught to value and therefore learn to express.

As she pointed to her PowerPoint, a stack of gold bracelets bounced around her left wrist. She winced.

This is so jingly, she said. Is that annoying anyone?

A friend in the back of the room chuckled, noticing the worry-about-everyone-else question.

Ah, she whispered to herself, The Peacemaker.

You could argue, of course, that anyone giving a public talk might fret over distracting noises. But that wasnt what the friend saw not now that she was a believer.

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Enneagram tests are having a moment. Thank millennials - Los Angeles Times

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April 23rd, 2020 at 11:51 am

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Happy birthday to the late Bud Wilkinson: Take a look back at his life and legacy – Tulsa World

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Bud Wilkinson

OU President and Mrs. George L. Cross congratulate Coach Wilkinson on his win over Texas, 1948. Tulsa World File photo

University of Oklahoma's Darrell Royal plants a resounding kiss on the cheek of head coach Bud Wilkinson in the dressing room after Oklahoma beat North Carolina in Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, Jan. 1, 1949, with a score of 14-6. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson, left, and assistant coach Gomer Jones are shown on the sidelines during a game in Norman, Okla., Nov. 1949. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson and assistant coach Gomer Jones shout directions to the Sooners from the sidelines, Nov. 1949. (AP Photo)

University of Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson is shown with his Coach of the Year 1949 plaque at a dinner of the American Football Coaches Association in New York, Jan. 12, 1950. (AP Photo/Matty Zimmerman)

College All-Stars head coach Bud Wilkinson, right, of Oklahoma, gives instructions to Barney Poole of Mississippi, who will captain the All-Star team, as they practiced Aug. 11, 1949 at Dyche Stadium in Evanston, Ill., for a game with the Philadelphia Eagles pro team at Chicago, August 12. (AP Photo/Ed Maloney)

University of Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson bends over to sign an autograph for a young fan as the team arrives in Biloxi, Miss., Dec. 27, 1949, for training in preparation for the Sugar Bowl against LSU on January 2. Darrell Royal, quarterback, waits to add his name to the boy's paper. (AP Photo)

University of Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson, left, talks with Notre Dame coach Frank Leahy at a dinner of the American Football Coaches Association in New York City on Jan. 12, 1950. Wilkinson was selected "Football Coach of the Year for 1949." (AP Photo)

University of Oklahoma football coach Bud Wilkinson, right, is congratulated by former President Herbert Hoover at a dinner given by the American Football Coaches Association in New York, Jan. 12, 1950, where Wilkinson was selected 1949's Football Coach of the Year. (AP Photo/Marty Lederhandler)

Bud Ledbetter, and 17 other students received their football letters during the father-and-son banquet Friday from Bud Wilkinson on Feb. 17, 1950. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Coach Bud Wilkinson of Oklahoma University takes a drink of water from a bottle after a tense moment in the Oklahoma-Kansas game, Nov. 11, 1950, at Lawrence, Kansas. The Sooners, behind at halftime, surged forward in the final quarter to win 33-13 and chalk up their 28th consecutive victory. (AP Photo/William P. Straeter)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson, left, and Paul Bryant of Kentucky, whose teams meet in the Sugar Bowl on New Year's Day, have their fingers in a sugar bowl at a luncheon in Oklahoma City, Dec. 8, 1950. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson, center, gives some advice to his defensive Sooners during practice in Biloxi, Miss., Dec. 27, 1950. The team will meet Kentucky in the Sugar Bowl on New Year's Day. From left to right: Jack Lockett, Buddy Jones, Ed Lisak, Wilkinson, Tommy Gray, Tom Catlin and Bert Clark. (AP Photo)

Bud Wilkinson (left) of Oklahoma and Robert Mendez, head football coach of at the National University of Mexico, Mexico City, swapping split-T ideas at Norman during Sooner spring practice on April 3, 1951. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson, center, kneeling, is seen with three of his squad, Dick Bowman, left, Kurt Burris, right, and Darlon Hearon, Dec. 26, 1953, in Miami. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma Sooners coach Bud Wilkinson, center, goes over game strategy with co-captains Roger Nelson, left, tackle, and halfback, Larry Grigg, during a workout at the University of Miami, in Miami, Fla., Dec. 26, 1953. The Sooners will meet the University of Maryland Terrapins in the Orange Bowl on Jan. 1. (AP Photo/Earl Shugars)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson and quarterback Gene Calame work out strategic plays with small model football players, Dec. 30, 1953, in Miami Beach. The Sooners are meeting Maryland at the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson, center, talks it over with quarterback Gene Calame, right, and center Gene Mears before a workout at the Lafayette M. Hughes estate in Denver, Colo., Oct 28, 1954. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson, right, is shown with Sooners All America back Tom MacDonald, center, and Dr. George L. Cross, president of the University of Oklahoma, as the first contingent of the Oklahoma squad arrives in Miami for their Orange Bowl date with Maryland, Dec. 26, 1955. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson is hoisted to the shoulders of his quarterback Rodger Taylor, left, and fullback Bill Brown, right, for the victory ride off the field at the Orange Bowl in Miami, Fla., Jan. 2, 1956. Oklahoma beat Maryland, 20-6. (AP Photo/Earl Shugars)

Hugh Ballard (82), Oklahoma tackle, runs onto field as coach Bud Wilkinson stands on the sidelines in Boulder, Colo., Nov. 3, 1956. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma University football coach Bud Wilkinson goes over a play with quarterback Jimmy Harris as the Sooners wind up preparations for the Colorado game at Boulder, Nov. 1, 1956. (AP Photo)

Bud Wilkinson on Sept. 21, 1957. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Bud Wilkinson on December 27, 1957. AP File Photo

University of Oklahoma football co-captain Don Stiller holds the Football Writers' Association trophy as coach Bud Wilkinson looks on, in Norman, Okla., Feb. 15, 1957. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma Sooners coach Bud Wilkinson, left, and assistant coach Gomer Jones, right, signal for a time out with a minute and a half left to play against Notre Dame, in Norman, Okla., Nov. 16, 1957. At midfield and Notre Dame ahead 7-0, Wilkinson wanted to send in a player who could develop a series of plays, but the Fighting Irish intercepted a pass two plays later, ending the Sooners' chance to score and tie-up the game. (AP Photo)

Oklahoma football coach Bud Wilkinson crouches among his players before starting practice for the New Year's Day game with Syracuse in the Orange Bowl at Miami, Fla., Dec. 27, 1958. Some of the players are Marshall York (72), Ben Wells (71) and Wahoo McDaniel (40). Others are unidentified. (AP Photo/Harold Valentine)

Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson shakes the hand of his former player Darrell Royal as they leave the field in Dallas, Tex., Oct. 10, 1959. Texas defeated the Sooners, 19-12. (AP Photo/Ferd Kaufman)

U.S.President Richard Nixon leans toward shy, Michele Lofevre advising her: "Smile. You're having your picture taken." Michele, 9, of Washington, sat with her father, Ted on Nov. 16, 1959 in Washington. In front of the President and his adviser, former Oklahoma football coach Bud Wilkinson, as they watched Dallas beat Washington, 41-28, at RFK Stadium. (AP Photo/CWH)

Charles "Bud" Wilkinson, University of Oklahoma coach, is shown in Norman, Okla., 1960. (AP Photo)

Charles (Bud) Wilkinson, University of Oklahoma football coach and newly-appointed special consultant to the President on youth fitness, poses with President Kennedy at the White House, Washington, March 23, 1961. The 44-year-old Wilkinson conferred with Kennedy on formulation of plans to get the Youth Fitness Program under way. (AP Photo/Harvey Georges)

Just as happy about the victory as coach Bud Wilkinson is former Sooner All-American and Heisman Trophy winner Billy Vessels on November 17, 1962. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Heading toward the dressing room with a comfortable halftime lead of 28-8 are coach Bud Wilkinson and a happy band of Sooners on April 21, 1962. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Charles B. "Bud" Wilkinson, special consultant to U.S. President John F. Kennedy on physical fitness, announces a national awards program to honor leaders of the fitness effort, March 1963. The award system will be jointly sponsored by the U.S. Junior Chamber of Commerce and Standard Packaging Corp. of New York. (AP Photo/Byron Rollins)

A publicity shot from Oklahoma City television station WKY for the Bud show: Left to right are Howard Neuman (an advertising agency executive) , Ned Hockman, and Bud Wilkinson. Howard and Ned came up with the concept for the coaches show on TV and pitched it to Bud, who agreed. Howard Neuman was the host (and continued through the Switzer era). Ned Hockman shot and edited the show. Photo courtesy of the Oklahoma Historical Society.

Football coach Bud Wilkinson shakes hands with voters at a coffee counter during a grass roots swing in Guymon, Ok. on March 2, 1964. Wilkinson has left coaching at University of Oklahoma to campaign for a seat in the U.S. Senate. (AP Photo)

Bud Wilkinson (left), an unidentified person and Richard M. Nixon in Oklahoma City on March 2, 1964. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

U.S. President Richard Nixon joins thousands of other fans in watching the Washington Redskins play the Dallas Cowboys in a professional football game on Nov. 16, 1969 at Robert F. Kennedy Stadium in Washington. Charles ?Bud? Wilkinson, Presidential assistant and former football coach, is at left of Nixon. (AP Photo)

Some of the nations most respected football coaches were on hand in Seattle, Washington Tuesday, Jan. 28, 1975, to honor Jim Owens, far left, who retired as head football coach at the University of Seattle, after 18 years. With Owens are, left to right, Darrell Royal, of Texas; Paul Bear Bryant of Alabama; Bud Wilkinson, who retired several years ago from Oklahoma; and John McKay of Southern California. (AP Photo/Barry Sweet)

Texas coach Darrell Royal, right, is seen with his former football coach Bud Wilkinson of Oklahoma and Barbara Specht, College Football Centennial Queen, in Lubbock, Tex., June 27, 1970. (AP Photo)

Former University of Oklahoma football coach Bud Wilkinson, now St. Louis Cardinals coach, cradles 1 1 / 2-yer-old Adam Small, son of Quail Creek Golf and Country Club grounds keeper Kenneth Small, in his arms during the Barry Switzer-Bud Wilkinson Swing for Sight golf tournament Monday in Oklahoma City on May 21, 1979. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Bud Wilkinson, left, joyous at first victory, as is assistant Rudy Feldman on Oct. 30, 1978. Wilkinson coached the NFL's St. Louis Cardinals from 1978-79. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Bill Toomey, the director of fund-raising for the U.S. Olympic Committee, is happy to lend a hand with the nametags for Barry Switzer, left, and Bud Wilkinson, who turned out Thursday night to help raise money for the USOC on March 17, 1988. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Bud Wilkinson on Oct. 27, 1989. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Bud Wilkinson. Photo via The Oklahoman archives

Greg Smith, right, reaches up to recover the statue of former Oklahoma coach Bud Wilkinson, left, after the cover fell off early during an unveiling ceremony before the start of an NCAA college football game in Norman, Okla., Saturday, Nov. 13, 2010. (AP Photo/Sue Ogrocki)

Oklahoma Coach Bud Wilkinson and other coaches respresented at the College Football Hall of Fame Feb. 25, 2015. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World File

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Happy birthday to the late Bud Wilkinson: Take a look back at his life and legacy - Tulsa World

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April 23rd, 2020 at 11:51 am

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Faces of Yadkin: Bradley Shore – Yadkin Ripple

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HomeSportsFaces of Yadkin: Bradley Shore

A community can be defined as a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common. This definition certainly describes Yadkin County and the people who call it home. One person in particular who makes Yadkin County such a great place to live is Bradley Shore.

God has really blessed me by allowing me to do something I love for so many years with many different sports and teams. I started out coaching boys basketball at Starmount in 1998-1999 as an assistant to Coach Brian Robinson, said Shore. I also coached softball at West Yadkin that year and continued to do so for 10 more years.

After the year with Coach Robinson, I coached girls basketball at West Yadkin for 10 years before coming to Forbush to assist Coach Jon Huggins with the varsity boys for two years. I then became the head coach for the varsity girls and just completed my eighth year with them.

Shore is the womens basketball head coach at Forbush High School and has been a lifelong member of the Yadkin County community. He grew up in Boonville and lives in the house in which he was raised. He attended Starmount High School, where he played soccer, basketball, baseball and tennis. After he graduated from Starmount, he attended Surry Community College where he played basketball and tennis. After two years at Surry, he transferred to Appalachain State University and obtained his Undergraduate and Masters Degrees.

The West Yadkin community was great to me as a young coach. I still see a lot of the parents and players from those days, and I love catching up with them, said Shore. Even though I was from the other side of the county, the Forbush community has been more than welcoming. The support of our program and coaching staff has been fantastic, and we have tried really hard to make the school and community proud of what we do and how we do it.

Along with his time at Starmount, Shore also helped Danny Macemore with the womens tennis team for five years. He has also coached his kids in recreational baseball, soccer and AAU basketball.

Enjoy the rewards of hard work and consistency that lead to winning, stated Shore on his piece of advice to young athletes. More importantly, though, learn how to handle defeatyou dont like it, you can be upset about it, you can even cry about it. But wake up the next morning excited and determined to go out and do something about it. How you handle defeat in sports and life determines where you will go in life.

This past season at Forbush, Shore led the team to the Western Regional final. It was the first time in school history that the womens basketball team at Forbush had made it past the third round of the North Carolina High School Athletic Association Playoffs.

My favorite things about being a coach were my favorite things as a player: 1) Being part of a team. 2) Working hard together to improve and accomplish our team and individual goals. 3) The competitive excitement of games and practices, said Shore.

Being a coach has greatly impacted Shores life, and will continue to do so for many years to come. He has been a staple coach at Forbush with his passion for the game of basketball.

While I thoroughly enjoyed my playing days, it is no comparison to how coaching has impacted my life, said Shore. Coaching has allowed me to combine my passion for sports with my passion to work with young people. Seeing players accomplish skills and goals and seeing them develop into good people and citizens is a reward beyond words. Winning games is fun, but nothing compares to the relationships developed with players, families, and other coaches.

I have met some of my best friends through coachingCoach Tim Parks and Coach Kenny Gooden have been with me all eight years at Forbush. Coach Brittany Groce joined us four years ago. They have become some of my closest friends and allies. I have some other lifelong friends that Ive met through coaching.

Coaching has also allowed (my wife) and I to bond over teams and games. She has been the coach behind the coachalways doing stats behind the bench and going over all the details at home with me, said Shore. As we have had children, coaching has also impacted them. It has allowed them to make positive relationships with players, given them good role models, allowed them to see the excitement of sports, and shown them how hard work and consistency lead to desired goals.

Shore was a guidance counselor in Yadkin County for 20 years, and he is a member of The Shore Team at Keller Williams Realty Elite in Winston-Salem. He has been married to Amanda Key Shore for 20 years, and they have three childrenParker, Elliott, and Worth.

On the court and field, there have been many fun teams and championships won, but I would have to say this past basketball season was the best team accomplishment, said Shore. We were conference champions, conference tournament champions, had a school record in wins, and made it to the 2A State Final Fouran accomplishment not achieved by girls basketball in Yadkin County before.

Off the court, the greatest accomplishment, mostly not as result of me but I like to think I had a tiny part in it, has been seeing former players go on to great things, and seeing that some of them enjoyed their time playing enough to come back and give of themselves, Shore said.

Eight former players have, or are currently, helping coach in our youth AAU program. Two current players are helping coach, and former player Madison Gentry joined our staff at Forbush this past season as an assistant coach. Seeing current and former players giving back by coaching themselves is such a blessing.

Shore grew up in Boonville and went to Starmount High School.

https://www.yadkinripple.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/web1_DSC_0643.jpgShore grew up in Boonville and went to Starmount High School. Kristian Russell | The Ripple

Bradley Shore is the womens basketball head coach at Forbush High School.

https://www.yadkinripple.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/web1_DSC_0850.jpgBradley Shore is the womens basketball head coach at Forbush High School. Kristian Russell | The Ripple

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Faces of Yadkin: Bradley Shore - Yadkin Ripple

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April 23rd, 2020 at 11:51 am

Posted in Life Coaching

Majority Of Moms Feel Unsupported, But We Can Change That – Moms

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Studies show that 85 percent of moms feel unsupported, but life coach and writer Beth Berry says that we can work towards changing the narrative.

Motherhood can be one of the most fulfilling parts of our lives, albeit a little stressful at times. As we know, though, moms now juggle more than ever before as they balance full-time careers, child-rearing, housework, and maintaining a meaningful relationship withour spouses. All of these demands leave many of us looking for support in our parenting endeavors.

Howevera recent survey conducted by Motherlyfound that85% of mothers believe that modern society does not adequately support mothers. This startling statistic, combined with rising stress due to the Coronavirus pandemic, leaves us wondering how we reached this point and what we can do to change the narrative for mothers going forward.

They say that it takes avillage to raise a child, but as mothers most of us now find ourselves relatively alone. Just like our mothers before us, we are expected todo all of the cooking, cleaning, and care taking for our homes. However, we are now also expected to build successful careers, stay fit, and single-handedly maintain our spousal relationships.

If that's not enough, don't forget all of the additional parenting duties that come with modern society: tutoring, advocating, playdate planning, chauffeuring, and coaching or club leading. The days of children roaming the neighborhood with friends are long gone, as are disciplining children through spanking or other corporal methods.

Most mothers feel like they don't receive adequate support in nearly any aspect of their lives. There's a lack of support from busy spouses who also work long hours to provide and parents who, instead of retiring and helping raise their grandparents, are often still working because they can't afford to live off of social security alone. Then, when it comes to employer support, most working moms feel that they receive unfair wages and inadequate maternity leave or time off to tend to their children's needs.

And, of course, mom shaming is a common problem in our modern society that's filled with "picture perfect parenting" all over Pinterest and Instagram.

RELATED:Gwyneth Paltrow Shares Photos Of Kids Saying They're Her Moral Support

As I mentioned, parenting doesn't at all look the same as it did for our own mothers. In fact, life coach and author Beth Berry says that "becoming a mother these days is uniquely burdensome. Id even go so far as to say that were navigating not only a whole new set of stressors as mothers but also oppressors, the likes of which our foremothersnever could have imagined." Because of these unique challenges, mothers need even more support than ever before - yet we're receiving less and less.

With a lack of support, most moms stretch themselves too thin. As they work from the early hours of the morning until late into the night, most mothers end up with virtually no time to themselves to rest and recharge. While this isn't the entire story, it does explain in large part why nearly 12 million women in the United States battle clinical depression and why it most commonly occurs in women aged 25 to 44.

Until we start recognizing these statistics and changing the narrative, though, nothing will improve for any of us.

In hernon-fiction book "Motherwhelmed" (available on Amazon May 1), Beth Berry hopes to challenge the societal norms around motherhood and bring the conversation into the homes of mothers everywhere. Berry hopes that motherswill band together and"challenge cultural norms, examine the personal, familial, and cultural stories that are keeping them feeling stuck and playing small, and begin to see themselves as worthy of a more empowering, joy-filled existence." She also hopes that mothers will start connecting with one another to make this change happen by following thesesteps:

Most mothers are shouldering more than their fair share of the load these days with virtually no support from the outside world. However, if we all arm ourselves with information and band together, we can start creating the change we want to see. There's no rule that says we have to do it all alone, so why are we? It's time to start changing the narrative and changing our lives for the better.

READ NEXT:New Research May Change What Temperature We Consider A Fever

If You're Not Okay Right Now, You're Not Alone

Megan Glosson is a freelance writer and editor based Nashville, Tennessee. She enjoys writing on a variety of topics, including parenting, mental health, and life. You can find more of her work on Unwritten, The Mighty, Focused on Kids, Food Delivery Guru, and TheThings.com.

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Majority Of Moms Feel Unsupported, But We Can Change That - Moms

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April 23rd, 2020 at 11:51 am

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Self-Care Means Business, and Business Doesn’t Always Feel Good – Thrive Global

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Photo: Adeolu Eletu

Successful entrepreneurs and business owners know the value of health and well-being. They either developed a healthy foundation early on, or they learned the hard way after experiencing a well-being problem that led to loss in productivity or profit that health equals wealth.Are you one of those leaders, or are you among the vast majority who know, conceptually, the importance of wellbeing, but struggle to level up self-care to match the demand of success as it grows and expands?

Plenty of leaders show up to our coaching calls excited about their work but overwhelmed (and secretly thriving on that overwhelm because we tend to wear overwork as a badge of honor). Some leaders seem to have boundless drive and stamina, but underneath that high performance is a decades-old fear of being left behind or never measuring up. The payoff is high enough to keep going until it costs them valuable employees, intimate relationships, or their own health. Executive burnout is a very real, very costly issue, and one of many reasons that self-care forms the foundation of my work.

This foundational conversation is especially important right now, during uncertain times fueled by global fear and well-being issues over which many of us have no control. Never has wellness been more critical to success than in the current pandemic.

Self-Care Means Business.

You cant lead others if you cant take care of yourself. Your business cant thrive if your workforce or customer base isnt thriving. Energetic Intelligence reminds us that our energy impacts the energy of those around us; therefore, if youre willing to accept radical responsibility as a leader, your self-care is also the self-care of everyone around you. Your self-care means business for you and for everyone you serve.

What self-care entails in a leaders life is going to evolve and grow as they do. Once you distinguish what it actually means for you, it becomes part of your business plan. Putting it into practice is just as critical for your business as other nuts and bolts like marketing, bookkeeping, and sales. As you continue reading, I suggest starting a self-care checklist/plan. You might start by writing down:

1. What you currently practice that truly serves you and your business,

2. What you use as a stand-in for self-care that doesnt actually serve you,

3. What you avoid in terms of self-care, and

4. What youre committed to taking on, based on what you distinguish from reading this article.

What does Self-Care actually mean for you as a leader?

Self-care, wellness, well-being whatever the trending hashtag is today is often all polish, no nail. Looks good in photos, sounds good in writing, but theres no substance or growth happening underneath. Honestly, as I searched for a stock photo to headline this article, I could not find a self-care image that didnt involve pastels, bathtubs, or tea cups. The surface-level concept of self-care that shows up as lavender-scented bubble baths, weekly mani-pedis, or a weekend round of golf might be enough to replenish you after a week of average stress. Is it really, though? For decades, women were sold on outer self-care (hair, nails, pilates the idea being that whatever keeps us looking good should keep us feeling good), while men were taught that tough guys and big shots need nothing but a good shave and another round of golf. Leaders, especially emerging leaders, have learned to practice inner self-care, as well: meditation, vision boarding for their career goals, in-house life coaches at their start-ups, daily ping-pong breaks in their open-concept office the list goes on and on. All of these can be wonderful practices and structures, but they still arent adequate. Why not? For one thing, all of them feel good.

Being Good to Yourself Doesnt Always Feel Good

Under normal circumstances, entrepreneurs and business owners can get away with the surface-level, very marketable concept of self-care referenced above. Add a personal, professional, or global crisis into the mix, though, and it quickly becomes apparent that surface-level is no longer adequate for the challenges that lie ahead.

Perhaps youre of the mindset thatPowerful leaders just power through!. Some certainly do. Ive been guilty of it myself, and Ive watched plenty of clients power their way through some hard times, muscling their way right into burnout, exhaustion, stress, overwhelm sometimes even divorce or mental breakdowns.

Weve all heard the stories and read the advice about slowing down, taking breaks, getting support. Why, then, would a powerful leader still think its in their best interest to neglect their well-being instead of doubling down on it? Because it feels good for the ego! Powerful people got into their powerful positions by trusting their power. Again, weve been trained that its powerful to push ourselves to the breaking point, to work ourselves to exhaustion, embrace the DIY, even if it kills us.Its not always easy to choose actual self-care over what the ego says will get you what you want.

We often find in the coaching process that a major breakthrough is available only by trusting something that the ego says is weak or unsafe. That something is different for each unique person, and its usually in their blindspot. Distinguishing, trusting, and embodying that something creates a paradigm shift that eventually is even more effective than what used to be the go-to power tool. In terms of self-care, this means that whatever youre resisting is likely what would do you the most good.

The Self-Care Struggle: Short-Term Avoidance or Long-Term Abundance

Short-term satisfaction wants comfort and rewards immediately. Actual self-care requires long-term thinking; it asks what is nourishing, not just comforting. Short-term brain always needs to feel good. Long-term vision asks what does the most good.

Were bombarded with marketing that trains us to believe that self-care is both: it feels good now, and itll make you happier in the long run. Itcanbe both, but often, actual self-care doesnt feel good in the moment. Self-soothing feels good in the moment and can also be self-care; theres nothing wrong with self-soothing or short-term satisfaction, but as we move from the immediate impact of crisis into the reinvention and rebuilding phase, it will serve us well to distinguish what were really up to when we make choices in the name of self-care. The ability to distinguish what truly is caring will prevent the term self-care from becoming a concept that you hide in or hide from as a leader.

The choice point requires the awareness of your personal Avoidance vs. Abundance Game, as I like to call it. It requires that you bear the pain of discomfort in service of your longterm goals and gains. The push and pull of knowing it vs. choosing it when it comes to impeccable self-care (and remember, self-care equals business care) can be challenging even under normal circumstances.

Its delightful when whats good for you also feels good, but some of the most effective self-care practices feel absolutely loathsome, embarrassing, or just downright boring. Going to the gym is an obvious example for many people: its one of the top New Years Resolutions, which makes it one of the most broken agreements that people make with themselves. Annual physical check-ups are another very basic self-care practice that I hear powerful people neglect regularly. One of my favorite examples of a loathsome, embarrassing foundational self-care issue was a client who, after months of being cranky and unpredictable, finally admitted that she was suffering from such intense hemorrhoid pain that she couldnt sit still or focus in meetings, but she was too embarrassed to see a doctor! She put off physically feeling good because of the anticipated emotional pain of seeking help. Ive seen plenty of leaders pull similar shenanigans with finding a new therapist, booking regular coaching calls in between their busy meeting schedules, hiring a nutritionist or personal trainer, or scheduling an audit with their accountant.

What about self-care practices like taking a vacation day (or five) in the middle of your companys busiest season, apologizing for something crummy you did even if you got away with it, leaving work early to go to your kids piano recital, hiring support you think you cant afford but know will level up your life? Thats irresponsible! I can practically hear some of you yelling at me already. Consider that its even more irresponsible to perpetuate a model of leadership that neglects your health, heart, or soul in the name of should, not enough, scarcity, or comparison. I trust you to discern which choices are truly in service of self-care, and which ones are self-preservation. Long story short, feelings are not always the best indicator.

Your commitment to who you want to be as a leader is what really matters when creating a self-care plan. Some of you are quite literally nailing it when it comes to the feel good part. Maybe you want to be a leader who always has beautifully manicured nails, and the spa time feels amazing. Thats fantastic! What else will you add to that routine to level up your experience of rejuvenation, stamina, pleasure, and power? Whats out of your self-care comfort zone? You might notice that once a self-care practice becomes routine, its no longer self-care; its a hiding place. I had a client for whom it was initially a breakthrough to take time off if she had a migraine. Months later, though, I noticed she was using migraines as a reason to miss meetings that were especially challenging or confronting The true self-care for her at that point was to get support for what was triggering her defenses about that meeting.

Some of you are resisting self-care, often in the name of power. Youve got some tough choices to make, and I hear you its not possible to be in two place at once, and sometimes, the most self-caring decision might hurt someone you love. Do you have to be the guy who never sees his kid play piano but always pays for the lessons? Maybe so but unless you want to also be paying for that kids therapy about it later, you might want to have an honest, compassionate conversation about why you wont be in the audience. Whats going to allow you to have that compassionate, responsible conversation? Self-care. You want to be the first female CFO at your company,andyou want to meet a spouse and have a baby within the next year? Totally doable, and its going to require a very new conversation about how self-care fits into those 14 hour days youre working right now. You might still work long hours,andthe boundaries youll need to empower to stay in good mental health at work are going to serve you well in establishing a healthy romantic relationship, too. Im sure you can guess whats going to help you determine those healthy boundaries. Say it with me: self-care.

Proper Care and Feeding of a Leader

Self-care means nourishing, feeding, and tending to your goals and your greatness. Your greatness thats such a coachy thing to say, right? Its what youll access more of when you truly tap into self-care, though. Its your highest, best self not just the insatiable, comparison monster that your ego can become when you get confronted or depleted.

One measure of impeccable self-care is that you have few to zero days of feeling depleted or triggered. You are so on top of your game that youre capable of running your business with an open, authentic heart. You have a clear mission and action plan, and you are consistently fueling yourself in a way that has you show up with authenticity and integrity.

Here are some simple, real examples of self-care that Ive seen make a difference in my clients lives:

Here are some examples of what might pass as self-care but is likely avoidance when we take an honest look:

Your Business Plan From Here

You likely see some gaps and practice areas to create for yourself from here. Rarely do I meet a leader whose self-care is 100% handled, 100% of the time. More often, I meet leaders who say it is but havent actually taken a look at what that means in a very long time.

Make two lists for yourself: an Integrity Reality Check and a Self-Care Calendar. Reality check: Whats out of whack in your life or business? Write it down anything from unpaid bills to sales goal gaps to not taking regular time off. Self-Care: what do you honestly need on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis to be properly nourished and fueled as the leader you want to be?

Put these lists somewhere youll be faced with them daily on the fridge, taped to your computer, on your kids forehead whatever. Share them with someone you trust to hold you accountable from both love and austerity. Whittle that Integrity List down to the point that you are running a tight ship, no leaks. Empower that Self-Care schedule like your leadership depends on it because it actually does.

It wont always feel good. Sometimes, its going to feel boring or even threatening to your status or other commitments. I challenge you to put self-care first for at least a month and let me know what you discover. Now, go take care of yourselves and each other.

Continue reading here:
Self-Care Means Business, and Business Doesn't Always Feel Good - Thrive Global

Written by admin

April 23rd, 2020 at 11:51 am

Posted in Life Coaching


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