Excerpts from Self-Belonging to be published around Valentines day 2018 (stay tuned to receive your advance copy) and Happily Ever AfterRight Now https://www.amazon.com/Happily-Ever-After-Right-Now/dp/061539969X

The late Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled, defines true love as this: The desire to contribute to anothers spiritual growth. Pecks definition says nothing about finding someone to complete you or make you happy (or vice versa). So whether or not the relationship is sustainable, if you decide to use it as a spiritual practice, you can choose to grow in the presence of another (while contributing to his/her growth) without a need or desire to change him/her so that you can be happy and comfortable. Instead, you work on being present and available for whatever is going on (because thats the only way the Divine can get through to you). You avoid getting too blissed out, dependent, or thrown off by this other, for you know your true joy comes from cultivating your relationship with the Divine. You avoid giving in to your strong preferences and mental constructs about how you think things ought to be, and settle into accepting what isnot in a passive way, rather as an active participantawake and alert. You step back from your temptation to react when you get triggered, and instead put some space between you and whatever has gotten you all riled up.

Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says that until you access the consciousness frequency of Presence (God, the One Unified Field), all relationships are deeply flawed, and you can oscillate between the polarities of love and hatenever really getting to true love. The power of Presence dissolves the temptation to judge or project. When you invoke the Divine to support you in your moment of resistance, instead of pushing against the darkness (in yourself or the other), you bring light (love) to the situationregardless of what is happening. And so at the risk of sounding cheesyyou kind of have to become a warrior for light (love) in order to tackle the dark forces of your lower nature. Of course, taking that warrior path means youve gotta fortify yourself with perseverance, since those dark forces are deeply embedded in you and in all of us. And as can happen with any warrior who sets out on a challenging mission, you are likely to have some defeats. Those can make you stronger if you let them (which I know by heart). Over time, with love, trust, and determination, you will eventually attain victoryliving primarily in peace, harmony, and freedom. And from that place, you will look back on who it was that motivated you to go for that love-light with enormous gratituderegardless of however s/he might have shown up. S/he was a mirror, who may have helped to expose that dark nature of yours (we all have one), so you could flip the switch in your heart and illuminate the real truth of who you are.

Giving Up Control (pp. 98-99 Happily Ever AfterRight Now)

As we become more and more willing to be completely transparent with who we are in all our relationships, the more freedom we have for unlimited growthIn standing tall to face the stark terror that our conditioned fears of abandonment produce (the dark forces trying to get a grip), we create an opening to remember that the love that lives within is the only certain rescue from the darknessthe Essential security in our lives. I am safe. I am home. I am here, now. I am enough.

You are invited to be seated at an imaginary round table. There will be five others joining you.

All of these people have joined you at your table. Are they mirroring some aspect of who you are? Here are some questions you may want to ask them (or yourself). Who are you? What do you represent? If youve come into my life, what are you here to teach me?

Compassion Meditation: Sit for 2-3 minutes and shower yourself and your loved ones with compassion. Next, hold compassion in your heart (2-3 minutes) for people you are neutral around (such as person # 5) or who are invisible to you (like person #4). Finally, cultivate compassion for people who repel you or whom you vigorously resist for 2 or 3 minutes.

Or, see what kind of spiritual practice your heart wants to create in the presence of your relationships. You are the only one who knows.Billy Joel

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Using Our Relationships as a Template for Spiritual Practice - HuffPost

GREEN BAY A cheesehead teetering atop his head, Martellus Bennett spoke of his desire to assimilate into the Green Bay Packers locker room.

The veteran tight end, now with his fifth NFL team, said he keeps the foam cheddar wedge in his locker just to remind his new teammates that hes part of the culture.

So far, the loquacious Bennett and his effervescent personality have fit in just fine in an environment devoid of larger-than-life characters in recent years.

For nearly 30 minutes after Thursdays first practice of training camp, Bennett held forth with reporters, handing out copies of his comic book (Towelboy), dropping names of his favorite authors (from Dr. Seuss to Eckhart Tolle), explaining his decision to crash in the locker room after he arrived in town at 3 a.m. Wednesday (I couldnt get too comfortable) and discussing everything from CTE to the team book club hes starting (first book: Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard) to his desire to be the black Walt Disney after his football career is over.

In a locker room where most players take cues from coach Mike McCarthys self-described boring by design approach, Bennett is decidedly different. Which, so far, the Packers like.

We all like personality. This is a tough business, McCarthy said. You spend a lot of time (together), so creativity and laughter are definitely good things to have in your culture. Hes a big personality and I think hes fitting in very well with our football team.

Quarterback Aaron Rodgers is among Bennetts fans, but he cautioned that observers shouldnt assume Bennetts jocularity and creativity mean hes not focused on football.

The thing about Marty that were learning and I think you guys will all learn is, hes always prepared, Rodgers said. Hes ready to go, if hes gone three hours of sleep, up all night drawing pictures, watching Nickelodeon, or if hes gotten seven, eight hours of sleep. Im not worried about Marty or his preparation at all.

For his part, Bennett said it makes no sense that some folks think being fun-loving and focused are mutually exclusive.

Green Bay Packers' Johnathan Calvin rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Clay Matthews talks to head coach Mike McCarthy during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Jordy Nelson walks to the next drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Max McCaffrey tries catching a pass behind his back during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Jordy Nelson catches a pass during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgersfilps a football during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers players runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Kevin King runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Aaron Taylor runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Clay Matthews stretches during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Damarious Randall stretches during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Ha Ha Clinton-Dix rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Davante Adams rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Kalif Phillips carries a bike after trying to ride it to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers players ride bikes to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Mason Crosby rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Johnathan Calvin rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Originally posted here:
Packers: Tight end Martellus Bennett holds court in first practice - Beaver Dam Daily Citizen

I was at a very crowded Powells Books in Portland last weekend and watched one 22-ish woman hold up a copy of an Eckhart Tolle paperback and solemnly say to her 22ish friend, Read this. It will change your life.

Ive never read anything by Eckhart Tolle, but I know the authors name from having seen it in airport bookstores for the last several years. Vaguely self-help, I think? Maybe business related? Or spiritual? Whatever the classification, I just have a sense his (her?) books wont be to my taste, primarily because theyre satisfying to so many people. This bias doesnt obtain with music, films, or TV, but somehow, books for everyonethe kind of books read by people who only read those kind of booksarent for me.

Id always assumed thats what The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time was, too: An airport book. Something like self-help or get ahead in business or Buddhism for Capitalists or Who Moved My Cheese or whatever. Turns out its actually a novel, and that novel is a family drama disguised as a mystery story, and its also a play, and that play was a huge hit on Broadway that won Tony awards a couple years back and the touring version is at the Paramount through this weekend.

It also turns out that the production stirs up lots of interesting questions and dilemmas relating to one of the central preoccupations people have about performed art these daysrepresentation. (To that end, its also dotted with potentially problematic elements to do with same.) Its also a showcase for staggeringly effective and versatile stage design.

Its also an efficient and oddly affecting variation on the sentimental treatment of redemptive family love that prevails in most narrative storytelling. Its also funny. Its also humane. Its also very good, in the same sense that Elvis Costello once shamed a journalist who had just impugned ECs then-new writing partner by asking, compared to whom is Paul McCartney not good?

It has a good premise, a good story, good acting, good staging, good craft, good sound design, good light design, and lots of other good things. Its very good, very pro, and very, you know, worth the $40-$85 it will cost you to get your hands on a ticket to any of the five remaining performances.

Still, I did find myself wondering as the play went onhow the hell did this play win Tonys? What is it about this relatively simple story that strikes a chord among so many people (five million copies of the book have sold to date, the Broadway production ran for four years). And when it was over, and the obligatory Seattle standing ovation creaked to its feet, I found I still didnt quite know.

Was it the inversion of the classic expectations of a protagonist? The story is motorized by a young man named Christopher (played the night I saw it by Adam Langdon) who is either autistic or has Aspergers (the book is apparently intentionally vague on this point, and the play doesnt specify either)but who, in any case, echoes the familiar Rain Man-nish traits of not being able to read social cues, make prolonged eye contact, or to bear any kind of human physical contact beyond a gradual palm-to-palm touch with his parents. (Hes more comfortable cuddling dogs and rats.)

Christopher also speaks in a clipped, nasal, robot voice with musical inflections played for comic effect. Hes also exceptionally good at math(sthe play takes place in England) and is reduced to screaming fits by the interruption of his routine. In short, he presents a broad, intentionally comic figure, in contrast to the normal world of people who surround him.

When he discovers the murdered body of the titular dog in his neighbors garden, he embarks on an investigation that leads him into traumatic adventures that reveal uncomfortable truths about his immediate world. These discoveries change everything about his situation, but they dont change him. They cant.

Hence, what we expect from a drama of this kind (and maybe, in a larger sense, what we want from all stories) is necessarily subverted, and not unproductively.

Christophers unconventional mien makes the background charactershis mother, father, teacher, neighbors, and various ancillary figures, all ingeniously portrayed by an ensemblethe real story, as they respond in a variety of ways to someone whose capacity for relation is categorically alien to theirs.

But Christopher is always at the physical center of everything. His impulses and responses propel the plot and define the people, but more to the point, the whole play is staged as a kind of recreation from his memory, and with his frequent comical intervention.

The set, three massive walls with thrilling light and video capabilities, with compartments that open into cubby holes, and a series of modular boxes that are used as various props, is apparently meant to evoke both his mania for order, and the natural chaos that follows from an effort to rationalize an inherently disordered world. It's an IKEA of the mind that also serves, alternately, as graph paper, JumboTron, and cage. Honestly, it's worth seeing the show just to see the set.

The choreography and interaction with this set is always inventive and often sublime, creating an almost Escherian dimension of space and motion that constantly enlivens the narrative.

Maybe that was the source of my quandary: Not that what I was seeing wasnt a pleasure to see. It was. But I did have a recurring sense that the constant need to enliven the narrative meant that the narrative was itself not massively interesting. Which, to be totally candid, I kind of admire.

Stories arent everything. And a play that seeks to convey the inner life of a boy who is essentially a cipher represents an audacious effort to liberate the theatrical experiencespecifically the big, mainstream Broadway version of itfrom the mere telling of a story. (That might also account from why so many people ditched the show at intermission.) Im on board for that kind of liberation as a rule.

On the other hand, though, you could be forgiven for thinking that all the stuff of the show was a fancy way of unspooling a somewhat ordinary suburban family melodrama. And they even have the cheapest theatrical trick of all time: a live puppy.

And then theres the matter of Christopher himself, whosewhat is the right word? Condition? Attunement? Situation?is played broadly for laughs that sometimes feelagain, what is the right word? Uncomfortable? Irresponsible? Problematic? Gimmicky?

I should emphasize that I cant tell whether the contemporary mania for identifying the offensive in public discourse has clouded my judgment on this point, but I definitely had that thing of unconsciously looking over my shoulder to make sure I hadnt committed some moral breach by laughing at the odd laugh line that issued from the disjunction between Christopher and polite society.

But more meaningfully: Certain crucial moments of attempted connection suffer for the broadness of the character's construction; I found myself recalling George, a wrenching documentary about the challenges of parenting an autistic childthe reference is obscure, but it felt significant that I saw the film once in 2001 and remembered it vividly during this show.

Then again, Adam Langdons performance was unquestionably skillful, consistent, and, if you can say this about the portrayal of a character whose relationship to feeling itself is inherently muted and inarticulate, empathetic. The real subject of this play is Christophers vulnerability, which is an inherent generator of dramaeven if the story and characters that rub up against that vulnerability arent terribly fascinating to begin with.

Maybe thats why its so popular. It puts the audience in the same position not as the main character, but as the ensemble: We yearn to connect with someone who cant receive that connection on our familiar terms, and we find that we are pulling for him, even loving him, anyway.

This stands in stark contrast to the other touring Broadway show about unconventional families available to Seattle audiences this month. When the lights went down on Fun Home, I rocketed to my feet, smear the tears and snot away from my raw-skinned, red face in the process, certain that Id seen something entirely new (no, not just a musical with good songs) on a stage, and avid, almost desperate, to go see it again. Which I did, a few nights later.

I wouldnt run to see The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time a second time. But Im glad I saw it once, if only because it helped me remember that even airport novels can contain something beautiful.

Who would read them if they didnt?

Continued here:
Review: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Is an Unexpected Source of Beauty and Invention - TheStranger.com

May we all practice self-compassion. (Photo: Vinoth Chandar)

Recently, during a journaling exercise, I listed characteristics that I find interesting and admirable in other people.

Next, stream-of-consciousness-style, I wrote qualities about myself. And when I reread my scribbles, I was surprised; the majority of the words on the page weren't positive.

They weren't terrible, and some were sort of neutral. It's not like I wrote "selfish, ignorant, horrible hobag" about myself. But my inner critic was all over the page.

It was jarring because I'd like to think that I'm fairly realistic about who I am and also that I have relatively healthy self-esteem.

I told my therapist about this, and she guided me through a practice. She asked me to think of a person or animal that I loved and valued unconditionally. My marvelous sister, Meghan, immediately came to mind.

Since the moment my sister was born, I've loved her in the sweetest, most special, practically indescribable way.

My therapist told me to think about that feeling and describe how it felt.

I struggled; I rambled words I don't remember, so she stopped me andasked me to feel it instead of trying to describe it.

I sat quietly and thought about Meghan. My chest filled with joy, comfort, ease, affection, gratitude, kindness. I was overcome with the most precious, pure love I can imagine.

Next, my therapist asked me to turn those feelings on myself.

Wow. That was something I'd never done. I had never thought about it like that.

This experience got me thinking about self-compassion, which is practiced through mindfulness.

So I sought out esteemed practitioners and teachers Janka Livoncova and Upasaka Paul to help me understand self-compassion.

"Compassion is a response to suffering,"Livoncova said.

Initially, I was confused, because I connected suffering to somethingheartbreakinga death, for example.

But I thought about it more and remembered that suffering is part of the natural human condition.

Eckhart Tolle discusses this in "A New Earth." He describes "our inherited dysfunction."

Much of this suffering comes from the stories we tell ourselves and reactions to situations.

Livoncova explained this to me using the analogy of getting hit by two darts.

A person is struck by a first dart.

"When you are struck by a dart, that's painful," she said. "That pain is inevitable. It hurts our body."

Then, the person is hit by the second dart.

With the second dart comes emotional pain.

Instead of taking the darts out and caring for the wounds, the mind starts spinning.

Who did this to me? Why is this happening? This is so unfair! I'm going to get whoever hit me with these darts!

My thoughts about what I wrote in my journal caused suffering, like the second dart.

Why did I just write these words about myself? What does this mean? I must hate myself deep down. This is an upsetting thing. This is something I need to fix.

That's a relatively simple example, but as I've written before, the thoughts in our heads are not our true selves, and the ego thrives on the negative stories we tell ourselves.

"There are so many ways we create our own suffering," Paul said. "It's not necessarily that we are doing that purposely ... We live with this notion that the way out of suffering is to keep in all the good stuff and keep out the bad stuff."

Livoncova and my therapist echoed these ideas. We don't like to be uncomfortable. We definitely don't want to suffer.

My mindfulness practice has helped me identify negative self-talk. But I generally catch myself in midthought. And, more often than not, I judge myself for having the thoughts.

Livoncova said that judgment is an attempt to avoid suffering, but it only adds to it.

I've been working on mindfulness and meditation for years now, and I still struggle with a central part of the practice: acceptance.

"The experience of compassionit's acceptance of everything as it is," Paul said.

It's accepting that you've been hit by two darts. It's treating and enduring the reality of the situation in each moment.

"It feels unbearable, but I can be with everything for one breath,"Livoncova said. "It's when we say ... 'I cannot bearthis' [that suffering comes]."

The good news, which bothLivoncova and Paul noted, is that, through practice, we can become more compassionate toward ourselves and others.

I think the reason I've struggled with this so far is because I was thinking too much. I was struggling to find the answer with my brain.

"Mindfulness cannot be ... learned by reading a book or talking about it,"Livoncova said. "Through experience, it can be realized."

Paul also expressed that practicing compassion is more about the feeling. We may use words to try to describe the experience, but we should practice turning our attention to the feelings, just as my therapist had me do.

One of the meditation practices that can cultivate compassion is loving-kindness, which I wrote about here.

The words said and thought during this type of practice may vary. And although it's nice to think that if we just repeat the words, self-compassion will somehow appear, that's not how it works.

"It's not about saying the words, it's about the experience," Paul said.

The reminder to focus on the feelinglike the wonderful sensation I have when I think about my sisteris paramount.

I can easily summon that fondness and warmth when I think about her.

So, if you need me, I'll be practicing sitting with that feeling and directing it toward myself.

What would happen if we all learned to do that?

The opinions expressed in this column belong solely to the author, notNooga.comor its employees.

Original post:
Learning self-compassion - Nooga.com

I am watching my daughter transform before my eyes. Slowly slipping away is the younger 11 year old who might still be found enjoying an episode of Sophia the First, and appearing in her place is an almost teenager who is content to be alone in her room for hours at a time. Shell be 12 in a matter of weeks and she is responsible and delightful and thoughtful and stubborn and determined and moody. Its a custom blend that presents itself differently every day.

And it is so hard to know just who is going through a bigger change, me or her?

It started a year and a half ago when I reluctantly passed the baton of favored parent to my husband. In the early days of this blatant change of allegiance, I failed miserably at trying not to let my disappointment show whenever the question was posed: Want to ride with me or Daddy? Or: Want to sit next to me or Daddy? (her answer, unceasingly, Daddy). I had long forgotten that I, too, had gone through this very transition, seeking my fathers guidance and input during these critical years of 11 - 14, until a wise sage of a friend pointed out to me that yes, this is actually a very important part of a young girls development.

Im still needed, but my offers to help are being denied in increasing increments. The concentric circle of a boundary that surrounds her has gotten bigger and I am having to step back and respect that more than I am accustomed to. Shes gotten good at no thank you. I gave her that: No means no. And: Never do anything you dont want to do. She models this beautifully. I just didnt anticipate that I would be the thing she doesnt want to do or be seen with. And I must be a slow learner because Im just now able to get out of the car and not automatically reach for her hand.

Her independence and growing autonomy in general has arrived at a perfect time, actually. I have become so thoroughly (and happily) consumed by the world of kindred, thrilled with how it continues to stretch into new territories and grow in numbers. So in this sense it is good that my day no longer revolves around keeping her entertained and busy.

Even still I didnt truly awaken to the depth of my internal conflict until, on a recent vacation, I started reading the brilliant work of Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. Awakening to Your Lifes Purpose. I stared at the ocean from the balcony every morning, reading and contemplating just how intricately woven my identity was with mom. My ego latched onto that title eleven years ago and it is still dragging around skills from that era that are not only no longer needed, but earn me such classic responses as the dramatic eye roll and the exasperated (but perfected) two syllable Moh-ohm". Im no longer the protector of playground dangers, the fruit and vegetable nutrition expert or the one to remind her to bring a sweater because itll be cold in the restaurant. And yet it is so entrenched in me that I am having to work really hard at turning it off.

In the quiet calm of those peaceful mornings, the sound of the ocean relentlessly rumbling to the shore, Eckhart taught me about ego and presence. My daughter needs one thing and one thing only right now - my presence. Undiluted, concentrated attention. I need to look at her, take notice of the small things, observe every nuance of change. She is working on new skills, navigating unknown terrain and like every middle school child, finding her identity. These are opportunities for new seeds to be planted - ones that will take her into adulthood.

I made myself a solemn vow in the presence of the vastness of the sea. To let go of my ego, to let go of control, to support and honor and cherish. To let her make her own mistakes, standing by at the ready to console and wipe tears and hold tight. The training wheels are off now. It is her own path and destiny to follow. I will give my daughter my presence. I will seek out and treasure these moments. Shine on, my girl, I whispered, shine on. I will always be here for you.

K. Cooper

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The Gift of Presence. - HuffPost

PLATTSBURGH The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship will host several events over the course of August. All are open to the public, free and at 4 Palmer St., unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, Aug. 3, 12:15 p.m. Quiche et Crepe, 164 Boynton Ave., Plattsburgh. First Thursday UU Ladies Luncheon. Bring money for lunch and join the conversation. Contact Mary Jane Miranda at 518-5615124.

Sunday, Aug. 6, 11 a.m. Meacham Lake Campground, Paul Smiths. Building Bridges. A joint church service between the Plattsburgh, Canton and Saranac Lake Unitarian Universalist congregations. For those unable to make the journey, an alternate service will be held at 10 a.m. at 4 Palmer St.

Wednesday, Aug. 9, 1:30 p.m. UU Book Club. Guests are invited to share a book theyve recently read.

Sunday, Aug. 13, 10 a.m. The Blessings of the Sangha. Luis Sierra will lead the congregation in an exploration of the Sangha, a community of people who, in the Buddhist tradition, agree to practice living a conscious life rooted in kindness, understanding and acceptance. A Sangha creates safe space to explore what it means to live an awakened life, finding support and encouragement from others who are similarly committed.

Wednesday, Aug. 16, 7:30 p.m. A Course in Miracles. For more information, contact Diana Wardell, 518-645-1930.

Sunday, Aug. 20, 10 a.m. Born Again UU! Mark Berninghausen, from the Canton Unitarian Universalist Church, will share how his attending the Unitarian Universalist Associations General Assembly last year increased his connection and inspiration to the UU world.

Sunday, Aug. 27, 10 a.m. The Rev. Christina Sillari. Sillari, from First Parish, a UU congregation in Portland, Maine, will deliver the sermon.

Monday, Aug. 28, noon. Forget-Me-Nots Brown Bag Lunch. Guests are invited to bring lunch and join in the conversation.

Tuesdays, 7 p.m., Search for Meaning Discussion Group. An evening of personal growth and a chance to join others in the search for truth and meaning. This fall, the group read and explore A New Earth: Awakening to your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now.

Read this article:
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship lists August events - Plattsburgh Press Republican

Make traffic your jam by using your drive time to your advantage.

By Jennifer Worick

Special to The Seattle Times Jobs

Traffic in Seattle is a drag, no doubt about it.

But there are ways to quell your angst and rage. Leverage your commute time in powerful ways. And now that the distracted-driving law is in effect, its time to put down your device and devise a better way to use your commute. It can often be found time in an otherwise busy day.

Present yourself. You may not want to be present to the traffic jam youre in, but listening to an Eckhart Tolle or similar book can help center you for the workday. And if that doesnt work, youll be sufficiently distracted by his unique accent.

Podcast intelligently. Before you take to the road, cue up a smart podcast for your drive. Check out Entrepreneur on Fire (a daily podcast by John Lee Dumas), the HBR Ideacast (a weekly podcast from the Harvard Business Review), or The $100 MBA (a daily podcast that offers lessons on business, marketing, tech and more).

Run down your to-do list. Get a jump on your morning by thinking about your to-do list, both immediate concerns as well as longer-term projects. Come up with three things you want to accomplish before lunch.

Create a mantra. Is there a phrase that centers your or helps you keep things in perspective? Breathe in and out slowly and repeat your mantra. Youll arrive at the office calm and centered, despite the backup on I-405.

Plan a vacation. Preferably one without road congestion. Work and traffic might be bringing you down, but planning the details of your next holiday in Reykjavik can lift you up where you belong.

Rehearse. Get your talking points in order. Whether its an important presentation or just a one-on-one with an employee or client, practice aloud and refine your key messaging.

Call your mentor or mentee.Use your hands-free device to check in with an aspirational figure to start or end your day on a high note. Think about a professional challenge that you can parse out with your mentor, or ask your mentee if they have any issues theyd like to discuss.

Keep your mind sharp. Expand your mind with podcasts like Wait Wait Dont Tell Me! or Stuff Your Should Know, or brush up on a foreign language with one of the many podcasts available for download. Try Radio Lingua if you want to improve your French, Spanish or German.

These self-improvement tactics may not make your commute go any faster, but they could certainly speed up your career.

Jennifer Worick is a veteran freelancer/contractor, publishing consultant and New York Times bestselling author. Email her at jen@jenniferworick.com.

See the original post:
Hate your Seattle commute? Use it to your benefit - Seattle Times

A little over a year ago, I was rather forced into signing up to Facebook because videos of some newly born puppies I was considering were being posted there each week.

I, of course, was curious to watch the progress of their growth and to see these beautiful babies play and interact. Unfortunately, it was clear that other posts on Facebook began distracting me from my immediate purpose, and, before I knew it, I was seduced.

It wasn't long before I began seeing those images of animal abuse appearing suddenly before my eyes. Even after scrolling by as quickly as possible, I couldn't get those images out of my head. I just didn't want to see those tragic pictures reaching out to me first thing in the morning. Like everyone else in the world, they are images I never want to see and attempt to forget, however futile.

Passle and her service dog Fenway(Photo provided)

Nonetheless, as much as I want to avoid this reality, it is absolutely my obligation to confront this unthinkable cruelty. We all have to. We have to absorb it, feel it and believe it and do whatever we can to stop it from ever happening!

Unfortunately, those people who really need these reminders are probably too heartless to even acknowledge the cruel part they play. I know I'm repeating myself when I say that these same people who are willing to abuse animals will do the same to people.

In his book "Guardians of Being: Spiritual Teachings From Our Dogs and Cats," Eckhart Tolle reminds us of our connections to our pets:

"When you pet a dog or listen to a cat purring, thinking may subside for a moment and a space of stillness arises within you, a doorway into being."

Alas, gratefully there is also an abundance of videos and images on Facebook that represent the beauty, sensitivity, humor, intelligence and importance of animals. Videos and images that make us laugh and cry and touch our souls because there is something there, in the animals that is deeper than just fun and adorable creatures. Something that is innately a part of us. Shared energy. Shared life force. Most of us know this, and thankfully there are more of those heart filled videos than the bad.

This past spring, my friend Passle lost her service dog from old age. This dog, for the past 12 years, was Passle's eyes, helping her to maneuver through the day and alerting her to every possible danger that might be present in her daily life. I was thrilled then to see on Facebook the happy photo of Passle with her new service dog, Fenway, someone she will literally be trusting with her life.

Then there was the posting of the soldier who had returned from a war zone, and like so many others traumatized by the brutalities of war, he ended up with PTSD. His life was a series of blackouts that led to falling over and potential injury. Dog to the rescue. This man's remarkable dog was able to detect when these blackouts were going to occur, and the dog would stand on his hind legs, front paws on the man's chest, letting him know he needs to sit down before he falls down. If you think animals are "just" animals, think again.

Eckhart Tolle: "Every being is a spark of the Divine or God. Look into the eyes of the dog and sense that innermost core."

We've all heard the stories. A cat howls in the middle of the night waking his family when a house was on fire. Dogs used to find people lost in the wilderness or under debris of a bombed-out building. The stories involving the lives saved by animals are endless.

Eckhart Tolle: "The vital function that pets fulfill in this world hasn't been fully recognized. They keep millions of people sane."

I've seen how my own animals respond to my moods. My cat Willow always shows up to sit and listen when I play the piano. The other day my golden wouldn't stop licking my face when I wasn't feeling well. A past dog of mine, Laddie, who was usually all work and no doggie kisses, showed a rare sign of affection when my mother was in pain from a knee replacement. He jumped up on her bed and laid his paw gently on her painful leg. She couldn't help but smile. This same dog used to sit down at the bottom of the driveway on the day I was returning home from a vacation waiting for my arrival.

We have to remind ourselves that there is something deeper in the animals than time has held to be true. An intuitiveness that allows them to know and feel beyond the obvious. A gift that we all have but so many of us have lost.

The animals haven't lost this special sense. It's a powerful awareness of caring, yet they continue to be abused.

Eckhart Tolle: "We are ultimately not separate, not from one another nor from any living thing - the flower, the tree, the cat, the dog. You can sense yourself in them, the essence of who you are. You could say God. There is a term, a Christian term which is beautiful ... loving the creator in the creature."

I believe people who abuse animals have deviated from the evolutionary chain into another kind of life form. One that doesn't have a soul and a connection to what's important and real and that's a strong and dynamic life force whose energy is derived from love, respect and reverence. My senses are torched when I think about the animals that are being abused, even as I write these words. Animals who could otherwise contribute love, joy, companionship and healing to so many human lives.

What can you do? I've said this before. Continue to support all animal organizations. Not just the dog and cats but the polar bears, elephants and wolves. All of them. Continue to support your local shelters as well because they play a part in assisting with local animal abuse. They also do their best at matching the shelter animals with the right families giving the animal a home to thrive in and giving the family an animal who will bring to their lives an abundance of gifts.

Eckhart Tolle: "Love is a deep empathy with the other's Beingness. You recognized yourself, your essence in the other. And so you can no longer inflict suffering on the other."

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OUR ANIMALS, OURSELVES: Use me, don't abuse me - Lake Placid News

The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of judgment. On the emotional level, it is some form of negativity. The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment, and this in turn depends on how strongly you are identified with your mind. The mind always seeks to deny the Now and to escape from it. In other words, the more you are identified with your mind, the more you suffer. Or you may put it like this: the more you are able to honor and accept the Now, the more ore you are free of pain, of suffering - and free of the egoic mind. Why does the mind habitually deny or resist the Now? Because it cannot function and remain in control without time, which is past and future, so it perceives the timeless Now as threatening. Time and mind are in fact inseparable. Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

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The Power of Now Quotes by Eckhart Tolle

46,659 views | Posted in Awareness, Meditation, Videos, Wisdom | 2 comments

In clear language, Eckhart explains the process of entering the miraculous state of presence that is always available to us. We are lost, he says, in the maze of our own compulsive thoughts.

on Drama vs. the Now

From guidance about stress and career to insights into the nature of the ego and the delusion of time, here is a far-reaching session that documents the vision of this modern spiritual teacher, and the truth he brings.

Finding Your Life Purpose (DVD) Eckhart Tolle

If youve been searching in vain to find your true purpose in life, Echkhart Tolle has some straightforward advice: stop struggling. For the primary purpose of every human being is simply to be fully engaged in this moment, aligned with the natural flow of reality itself. On Finding Your Life Purpose, the bestselling author of A New Earth, invites viewers to discover the two-fold intention of our human incarnation: first, to free yourself from thought-based reality and its inherent dissatisfaction; and, second, to express in your own way the grand vision that universal consciousness has for your life. Amazon.com Books review

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Eckhart Tolle on Being Yourself - Zen Moments | Zen Moments