Proponents of gay marriage, who traditionally frame the cause as a matter of equality and civil rights, are increasingly invoking something else: family. And the tactic seems to be working.

In February three state legislatures passed statutes making gay marriage legal, and in each case the appeal to family connections was a central feature.

"We need to ask ourselves: How would it feel to be a child of a gay couple?" asked Washington's Democratic governor, Chris Gregoire, who signed the state's legislation Feb. 13 after having announced her support for it a month earlier. "How can we tell these children that their parents' love is seen as unequal under Washington law?"

A Washington state lawmaker who voted for the bill recalled her own marriage. "I was married for 23 years to the love of my life and he died six years ago," said Republican Rep. Maureen Walsh in a video that went viral. "How could I deny anyone the right to have that incredible bond with another individual in life?"

In New Jersey, 15-year-old Madison Galluccio told state lawmakers debating same-sex marriage what it's like being the adopted daughter of two gay dads.

"A lot of people think that my family is different," she testified before an Assembly committee. "You gave us a civil union. I don't know what that is.... It's very hard for me to explain to my friends. It's very hard that I can't tell them, 'Oh yeah, I have gay dads and they're married just like your parents.' But they're not."

Almost two weeks later, New Jersey lawmakers passed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage, but it was swiftly vetoed by Republican Gov. Chris Christie, who wants the issue decided by referendum.

In Maryland, where Democratic Gov. Martin O'Malley signed its bill into law Thursday, a Republican lawmaker had a change of heart over gay marriage after coming face to face with couples sharing their stories.

Wade Kach, left scrambling for a seat in a packed committee hearing last month, found a spot near the witness table.

"I saw with so many of the gay couples, they were so devoted to one another. I saw so much love," said Kach, a member of the House of Delegates. "When this hearing was over, I was a changed person in regard to this issue."

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Gay marriage backers find success emphasizing love and family