Image Source: Getty / Gabriel Olsen

I never thought that I would agree with Offset about his feminist views, but that's 2020 in a nutshell. On Dec. 12, the rapper was approached by TMZ reporters about comments made by Snoop Dogg about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's megahit single "WAP." In an interview posted earlier that same day, the older rapper told Central Ave's Julissa Bermudez that he felt the song was too vulgar and recommended the rappers tone it down and use "some imagination."

"Let's have some privacy, some intimacy, where he wants to find out as opposed to you telling him," the 49-year-old rapper says in the video. "That's like your pride and possession and that's your jewel of the Nile, that's what you should hold on to. That should be a possession that no one gets to know about until they know about it."

Rather than having the self-awareness to realize he had no right to tell two grown women how to talk about their bodies, Snoop went on to rationalize that while he may have been into that type of music when he was younger he may have even been on a "WAP" remix! as he's approaching 50, he's now worried about how the theme may influence the younger generation. "I love that they're expressing [themselves] and they're doing their thing, but I don't want it [to become] fashionable to where young girls feel like they can express themselves like that, without knowing that is a jewel they [should] hold on to until the right person comes around," he explained.

Aren't we so lucky that after almost 20 years of rapping, Snoop is finally concerned about what the younger generation is listening to? I'm sure he's worried about people's daughters that's why he recommended that they "just send her to the Dogg so I can woop-de-wop" in the 2017 track "3's Company." He plans to teach them how to respect themselves and keep their jewels safe for the right person!

When TMZ brought the comments up with Cardi's husband, Offset, he noted that although he's a fan of Snoop Dogg, he hates when men "get in a female's business." He pointed out that his wife is grown, and Snoop's comments show the clear double standard women face in the music industry. "As rappers, we talk about the same sh*t," he said. "Men can't speak on women they're too powerful, first off. There's a lot of women empowerment, don't shoot it down. We never had this many female artists running this sh*t and they catching up to us, [even] passing us and setting records."

He went on to note that "WAP" is a record-breaking single, so regardless of the bullsh*t that people want to say about it, they can't take that away from Cardi or Megan.

"We should uplift our women and not say what they can or can't do. You know how long women have been told they can't do something or they shouldn't do this, or they have been blackballed out of entertainment? So, I stay out of female stuff," the Migos rapper said. "It's entertainment. You can go on YouTube to see people shoot videos with guns and talk about killing. We can't really be judgmental on certain things, but certain things we aren't."

I did not have Offset showing off his feminist learnings on my 2020 Bingo board, but I'm here for the nuance! And he's absolutely right; not only is Snoop talking out his ass considering the way he's spoken about women's bodies for the past two decades, but he also has no right to tell any woman how she should express herself or treat her "jewel." Young people are indeed listening to "WAP," but children don't represent who this song is supposed to appeal to. If your kid is listening to the track, you need better parental control on their devices!

And if your kid is older and listening to "WAP," I can assure you that a sex-positive song with two women talking about how they enjoy sex is far from the worst thing they'll ever hear.

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I Never Thought I'd Say This, but Offset's Defense of Cardi B Was Absolutely Right - POPSUGAR

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With all the talk these days on social media about going for it, it can feel like a lot of unnecessary pressure.

Never give up! Never stop! Never quit! Overcome all obstacles! Succeed! Win! And then succeed and win again!

While these messages and memes are meant to be motivational, theyre not specific to the individual; thus, they shouldnt be considered as universal truths for all people in all scenarios. Its of course admirable to persevere in the face of hardship - its the heros journey after all - but the message of persevering can be dumbed down to a point where it becomes an obstacle in itself.

If you have been dealing with a project or person that has presented obstacle after obstacle for you, the answer might not be in persevering, but rather pivoting or, dare I say it, letting it go.

There are a few reasons why we might resist letting go...

Holding On Is A Form Of Control

We may not want to let go of an idea, a business, a person, a project - whatever it might be - because we cant face the fact that we werent able to control a matter in our favor. We werent able to bend it to our will. We reason that if we had a little more time we could get there.

When the prospect of letting go rears its head we have to face the loss of control, which means accepting an unknown future; we are forced to accept that we cant control the external world. The upside, however, to the future being unknown is we have free will. We have the freedom to change course and try a new way.

Letting Go Doesnt Make You A Failure

Winning is so ingrained in our society that if you dont succeed, the only conclusion must be that you have failed. And when you have failed, that makes you a failure. This isnt the natural conclusion, however.

To call yourself a failure is to cement your fate and presume you wont succeed ever again. Having not brought a project to a desired completion simply means you might need to try a different method. It might mean you need to pivot. Disassociate the concept of letting go with being a failure. They are not synonymous. On the contrary, letting go is an act of bravery and maturity.

When Your Identity Is Tied Into What Youre Holding Onto

Lets face it, what we put our heart and soul into is often an extension of our identity, how we see ourselves. If we are faced with the prospect of saying goodbye to something we see as an extension of ourselves then it can feel as though were losing a part of ourselves, i.e., If this project / business/person goes away then who am I without it? This is another facet to letting go, as you have to let go of the notion that something youve created will take a piece of you with it if it goes away.

Rest assured, you will remain you despite anything external going away. Youre the source, the creations you manifest are at your mercy, not the other way around. If its a business that you must let go of, it doesnt mean youre not an entrepreneur, it means this iteration didnt work. If its a project you were working on for work, it doesnt mean youre bad at your job, it means it needs retooling. Rinse and repeat.

The Sunk / Cost Bias

Our natural biological state seeks to maintain the status quo. Our brains like equilibrium; it doesnt like change or rocking the boat. That isnt to say we shouldnt do it, but rather the brain has our best interest at heart and is trying to protect us from danger; it thinks scaring you into keeping things as they are is the healthiest way to go. Its a carry-over from primitive days and it doesnt always serve us.

Thus, we all fall prey to the sunk/cost bias from time to time, which is when we sink more time / money / effort into a losing proposition because weve already spent so much time / money / effort on the project at hand and we cant bear to cut our losses. We keep investing more time / money / effort in the hopes that things will turn around for the better, not realizing it doesnt matter how much more energy we invest, this is a sinking ship.

In these times, we need a dose of self-awareness in order to ask ourselves, Why are we persevering with a losing proposition? Is this the thing thats going to bring us closer to our professional goals? Or is it getting in the way? Its not easy to take a hard look in the mirror, but when youre not getting the return on your investment its imperative that you do.

So Whats To Be Done?

To be clear, letting go doesnt mean quitting. It means accepting what is and allowing yourself to move on despite not achieving the initial desired result. Its a more evolved approach than beating a dead horse simply because the internet - as one example - has reinforced the notion of never quitting, never stopping, never giving up, always going for it, etc etc.

Before you let everything go, however, I dont mean to suggest that when the first sign of difficulty rears its head you say goodbye to the whole endeavor. If you would like to see something come to fruition you do have to persevere in the face of challenges. You have to see it through to a certain point, put in the work, try and try again. If, down the road, youre still not succeeding then its probably time to either let your method go, or possibly the endeavor itself; at least, in its current incarnation.

But remember, youre not a failure. Youre facing the fact that your attempt didnt pan out as hoped, which takes courage.

Read more:
The Thing You Need To Know About Letting Go - Forbes

Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic Published 12:17 a.m. ET Dec. 11, 2020 | Updated 12:40 a.m. ET Dec. 11, 2020

Meryl Streep in Let Them All Talk.(Photo: Peter Andrews)

"Let Them All Talk is a loose, chatty movie, basically a slow-moving cruise with some terrific actors sorting things out (and the director aint bad, either).

Steven Soderberghs film retirement still isnt working out for him, happily brings together Meryl Streep, Dianne Wiest and Candice Bergen on a real-life trans-Atlantic voyage of the Queen Mary 2. The script, by Deborah Eisenberg, reportedly served as more of an outline for the cast. However they worked it out, its a good, not great, movie and another chapter in Soderberghs continually evolving process of filmmaking.

Streep plays Alice, a writer famous and respected in literary circles with a Pulitzer Prize-winning book under her belt and a few less-regarded works that she naturally prefers. The film opens with her talking to her new agent, Karen (Gemma Chan), about her new book, which shes customarily secretive about.

Shes receiving a British literary prize, Karen notes. Maybe shed like to accept in person? But Alice doesnt fly. Karen works out the cruise, which Alice will accept if she can invite two old college friends she hasnt seen in years, along with her nephew.

Susan (Wiest) and Barbara (Bergen) are surprised at the invitation. Theyve fallen out of touch. Susan is a social worker. Barbara is an unapologetic gold digger, who jumps at the chance to sail with a potential rich husband. But she also wants to confront Alice about the Pulitzer-winning book, which she believes is based on the secrets of her own marriage she confided to Alice. The book, she contends, ruined her marriage and her life.

Meanwhile Karen is also on board, in secret, trying to figure out what the new book is about. (Everyone hopes its a sequel to the Pulitzer novel.) She and Tyler (Lucas Hedges), Alices nephew, begin flirting; she enlists Tyler to help her suss out the subject matter.

Its really just heightened personal drama played out over a couple hours. But the acting is so comfortably genuine that its a really enjoyable ride. Streep is good you may have heard that a time or two at bringing some empathy to a self-centered writer who no longer connects with the world outside her own interests. (Did she always talk that way, her friends wonder? The consensus is no, she did not.) Streep lets some self-awareness creep in to the character, which helps.

Bergen nails a tricky role. Its the brash way she approaches Barbaras mercenary ways that makes the character work. She has no self-pity (well, maybe a little) and no shame (definitely not). Wiest may be the best of the bunch. Her delivery of surprising lines is delightful. Her delivery of less surprising lines is, too.

But what makes the film hang together are small moments, like those provided by Dan Algrant as Kelvin Kranz, a stratospherically popular mystery writer of the Dean Koontz variety who is also on board the ship. Naturally, Alice looks down her nose at Kranz. Naturally, Susan and Barbara have read piles of his books. Theres a great scene in which Alice browses through the ships bookstore and finds some of her books and a ton of Kranzs.

Theres an even better couple of scenes when we learn more about Kranzs approach to his work and just his unassuming attitude in general. Alice could learn something from him. Maybe she does.

Theres a low-energy mystery about another character on the ship who proves to be both crucial and extraneous at the same time, a neat trick.

But the film is ultimately an excuse to watch and enjoy Streep, Wiest and Bergen. Sometimes roles for outstanding actors who arent in their 20s and 30s anymore wind up being embarrassing misfires. (See the cloying And So It Goes or Book Club for examples or, better yet, dont see them.) Thats not the case here.

Let Them All Talk is a low-key success.

Three stars

out of four stars

Rated R; language

1 hour, 53 minutes

Now streaming on HBO Max

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Cast headed by Meryl Streep makes Let Them All Talk a winner - Detroit Free Press

Hundredsof books, articles, and podcasts are published each year offeringthe answer to the question: How do I lead well?

To really grasp theprinciples of effective leadership that will lead to results, one primary lesson that many of those books and podcasts won't teach comes down to one short sentence:

Leadership is aheartmatter. Ifthe heart is not right, your leadership isn't going to be right.

The heart of a leader has to be focused on serving others first. This will reveal the leader's true intent. It is not a heartmotivated by self-interest, status, position, or power. It's a heart that is driven by service and the overarching life philosophy of "How many lives can I impact for the better?"

To that end, there are things to being a good leader that just cannot be ignored. If youare too busy to put these practices into daily motion, it may be time for a leadership tune-up. Here's what I would recommend to get you running on all cylinders.

Many autocratic managers viewfeedback as a threat to their power, self-worth, and position, which explains why they are opposed to it and often reactfearfully and defensively to feedback. Great leaders, on the other hand, viewfeedback as a gift to improvetheir leadership so they can serve others and their mission better. Theyvalue truth and honesty and diverse perspectives for betteringthemselvesandtheir businesses. Even when feedback is negative, it prompts an exercise in curious exploration to find out where things went wrongso that it doesn't happen again. This is setting your heart right.

So many high-level managers get caught up in situational dramas in whichthey're typically the main character. Sincetoxic fear or insecurity and false pride operate in tandem to protect their self-interest, ithijacks their thinking and potential for healthy relationships. Great leaders don't react to people or situations, theyrespondto themby being quick to listen and understand. They apply self-awareness and curiosity to get varied perspectives and won't get riled up or let their emotions sabotage their thought process. They takea step back, assesswhat happened, and get clarity before their next move. Whatever that next move is, their integrity steps in to end a conflict, help others, and make things better.

When fear,uncertainty, and lack of direction permeates the workplace, you begin to see fewer risks being taken and fewer problems being solved.Team members need to feel psychologically safe tobe at their best. To create a safeenvironment for your employees, managers need to do what great leaders do consistently well: pump the fear out of thework environment. First, honor your team'svoice by allowing them the space to present ideas and express objections. Second, invest in theirsuccess and regularly communicate that their development is a top priority. Finally, sethigh expectations forteam members by giving feedback that ensures they know how valued and valuable they are.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

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If You're Too Busy for These 3 Things, Your Leadership Skills May Need a Tune-Up - Inc.

Dan Harmon was behind both Community and Rick and Morty. Here are ways the shows are similar, and what they do differently.

From a failed pilot on Fox to getting removed from The Sarah Silverman Program, it seemed like television didn't love Dan Harmon the same way that he loved it. However, that all changed when he got to create Community, a cult-hit comedy series about the trials and tribulations of college life. Sadly, Harmon would see the same rejection that plagued him for years and was removed even from his brainchild (though he'd return soon enough).

RELATED:Community: 10 Small Details You May Have Missed

His other seminal series has been the Adult Swim giant, Rick and Morty, which has penetrated the zeitgeist as a sci-fi epic and gotten a lot of kids in trouble for staying up late. Given that they're from the same mind, it's a given that there are some similarities between the two Harmon works, but Rick and Morty has still done a lot to maintain its own identity.

Something that's just embedded in Harmon's DNA is the capacity to call out television tropes on-screen while also calling out the fact that a character is calling out things. This confusing eye on an eye is the meta-humor and dialogue that has made Community and Rick and Mortyseemingly smarter than their television colleagues.

While Rick and Morty's writing prides itself in being mostly improvised, it still facilitates the same genre self-awareness that made Community so inventive. If anything, this type of writing is even more necessary for a series about the "Smartest Man in the Universe."

While Community has always dipped its toes into action/adventure tropes and science fiction, it always had to revert things back to reality. Set in a community college, Dan Harmon ran the risk of doing what Charles Schulz did to Snoopy if he were to let the school get too fantastical to still maintain its human charm.

RELATED:10 Non-Sci-Fi Movies To Watch While Awaiting Rick And Morty's Return

Fortunately enough, none of those concerns exist in a series about exploring, saving, and destroying the world with the half-baked experimentsof a mad scientist. Using animation to its fullest extent, Dan Harmon got to revel in the type of high-concept, surreal adventures that he could only ever dream of implementing in Community.

Television can take Dan Harmon away from Jeff Winger, but it can't get the cold lawyer's voice out of his head. With plenty of disillusionment and hardship going on within his own life, Harmon is famous for bringing his pain onto the screen and allowing it to entertain and empathize with the same lonely outcasts that his shows attract.

In Community, the main cynic of the series was the cold, calculating, and street smart Jeff Winger whose always had to fend for himself, though his same capacity for being realistic has bled into the study group every now and then. In Rick and Morty, every character besides Jerry Smith seems to have been infected by Rick's logic and skepticism and now battles the cold truth of reality more often than they actually fight aliens.

One of the most subtle differences between Community and Rick and Morty is the change in character dynamics. Community focused on a close, friend group comprised of people from starkly different backgrounds. This always kept the faces fresh in the series while also bringing a constantly different voice on the topic at hand.

RELATED:10 Best Television Families Of The 70s and 80s

Rick and Morty, however, has a much closer dynamic, bringing the family close to a family with their own, interwoven stories but a much more familiar understanding of one another. They don't have the same intermingled romances or buddy themes from Community. If something goes wrong between the Smiths, it's not just a group of friends growing apart from one another but an entire family falling apart.

Meta-humor just wouldn't be the same without a wide, lexicon of movies and television to draw from. One of the most famous elements of Community was its long line of genre parodies that helped paint college life as this one, big movie waiting to happen.

RELATED:Rick And Morty: The 10 Best Pop Culture References In Season 2

While most Rick and Morty stories aren't as obviously derivative, they do have parodies of Mad Max, The Nightmare on Elm Street, The Purge, and the entire heist genre under their belt, and their dialogue is rife with actors constantly trying to one-up one another with what celebrities and films that they know.

Community may have had its fair share of adult situations; but at the end of the day, it was a family sitcom that always held back from being even cruder and more immature than it already was. That same restraint is gladly not seen in the Adult Swim landscape which eats adult situations for breakfast.

With the freedom of a network literally dedicated to being as mature as possible, Rick and Morty's dialogue reaches new levels of color as it allows its cast to use the full expanse of the urban dictionary to their advantage. While plenty of this dialogue is still heavily bleeped, the series isn't making the job of the censors easy.

While Community and Rick and Morty may be advertised as comedy series, they've managed to maintain the imaginations of their audience by taking some of their more adventurous and physical elements seriously. This is more apparent in Rick and Morty where the titular duo's adventures are constantly putting them at odds with galactic federations and killer aliens.

Community, however, was directed by the Russo Brothers, the same, acclaimed duo responsible for the recent films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. They allowed the action and camera work in the series to be much more dynamic, with episodes like the paintball series and "Pillows and Blankets" having their clear influence.

As action-packed as Community may have gotten, the series never treaded even close towards PG-13 territory. Not wanting the show to get much more colorful than paintballs would allow, Community kept its violence and gore to a minimum. Rick and Morty has no restraints and uses the color red more often than the silver in Rick's hair.

Taking full advantage of the dangers of the universe and Rick's own disillusionment, the series has gotten bloody and killed multiple characters with ease, almost to the point where it seems like Rick and Morty are the real villains in the series.

It's weird thinking that a show about community college and a show about a drunken scientist share the same proclivity for alternate dimensions. But that's the type of world(s) that Dan Harmon lives in. Rick and Morty obviously loves to utilize Rick's portal gun to go on a variety of mind-bending adventures, and the duo have even utilized the infinite expanse of possibility to skirt grander consequences.

Community gets to share that same, high-concept thread with one of their most famous and critically-acclaimed episodes to date, "Remedial Chaos Theory." Here, a dice roll creates Community's iconic, alternate timeline gag as well as the "Darkest Timeline" that haunts the study group for a couple of seasons.

One of the greatest advantages that Rick and Morty has over Community is how its story and settings don't have to be limited by resources and budget restraints. While the audience has grown familiar and even adoring of Community's study room, it is only a symptom of a series that never tried to stray too far from Greendale.

In Rick and Morty, one would be hard pressed to accurately describe the Smith household given that most of the show's adventures are exploring some strange and visually exciting world. Straying further and further from a small, community college in Colorado, Rick and Morty always has a fresh, new background to delight fans.

NEXT:Rick And Morty: 5 Things That Changed After The Pilot (& 5 That Stayed The Same)

Next Supernatural: 10 Best Episodes Post-Kripke Era, Ranked (According to IMDb)

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Rick And Morty: 5 Ways It's Similar To Community (& 5 Things It Does Differently) - Screen Rant

The holiday season can be a paradox. We celebrate miracles that could only have existed because people were guided by their listening, witnessing, sensing, believing, and willingness to come together and be aware.

Yet, in our personal here and now, with holidays imminent, we are apt to turn away from community and away from ourselves as we drown in mind chatter of could-haves, should-haves, comparison, criticism, and unrealistic expectations of self and others. Often this chatter leaves us with spiraling feelings of disappointment, disconnection, and isolation.

The antidote to a mind that wanders through darkness and distraction? Be mindful.

While that might seem daunting, Chicago mental health professionals help break down what it means to be mindful and how to incorporate some of these practices in our daily life.

Mindfulness keeps us in the present moment. It encourages us to feel sensations, rather than judge them.

Mindfulness is a practice of embodiment, a moment-to-moment awareness that doesnt just include our thoughts but also our emotions, which are events in the body, and physical sensation, explains Rebecca Bunn, manager of mindfulness at Rush University Medical Centers Road Home Program. The program provides mental health programs for veterans and their families.

Sensation whether as awareness of breath, movement, or thought happens in real time in our body. But when we think about breath, movement, and thought we often apply judgment that removes us from the present. By attending to ourselves through the purity of sensation, rather than story, we are able to live embodied in our physical experiences.

We are all mindful already, to a certain degree, says Marita McLaughlin, a licensed clinical professional counselor, meditation teacher for more than 40 years, and Buddhist chaplain for more than 20 years. Getting dressed, choosing what we will eat, and decorating our space are all mindful activities, McLaughlin says.

Rebecca Davis, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker who is formally trained in internal family systems (IFS), describes an IFS therapy session as a meditation led by the therapist.

Westerners typically think that meditation is about clearing or quieting the mind, she says. When we listen to the mind with criticalness, we are not really listening, Davis says. Mindful meditation can help people tune in to what their mind is saying with compassion and tenderness.

Meditation helps clients attend to the mind, Bunn says. I think one of the most valuable aspects of meditation is that it can change our relationship with our thoughts, she says. We can become aware of the presence of a thought without necessarily becoming engaged with it. Not all thoughts are useful, she adds.

It makes a lot of sense that we dont feel calm, we dont feel peaceful all the time, Bunn says, citing the prolonged period of uncertainty, unknowns, and heightened stress that we collectively have been experiencing during this pandemic.

At the Road Home Program, mindfulness offers veterans compassionate connection with themselves, first and foremost. Veterans are encouraged to find a kind, nonjudging awareness of their emotions, thoughts, and sensations that can then support their connection to others.

Sometimes it seems easier to support other people than to support oneself. With the veterans, Bunn says, It is truly remarkable the really natural, deep, and lovely instinct to care for and support one another, while at the same time feeling like, Oh, its so hard for me to do the same for myself.

When we are gentle with our self and build up tolerance for our own foibles as well as strengths, then we are able to extend it outward to others, McLaughlin explains. If we start with compassion for ourselves, then there will be compassion for others that will naturally arise out of that self-awareness.

So, how can we be more aware, more present, more self-kind? Here are some tips to begin a mindfulness practice:

Set doable expectations. Choose a realistic number of times that you can commit to practicing meditation during the week, McLaughlin advises. Perhaps once a week is possible, perhaps three times. McLaughlin suggests starting with five to 10 minutes. Set an alarm so that you are not watching a clock.

Choose good timing. Time of day is important, too. Some prefer the morning, others the evening. McLaughlin advises against meditating before bed. Meditation is not about shutting oneself down or shutting away. Its about really waking up to our life, waking up to the present, she explains. McLaughlin suggests having some space around you as you meditate, open to the environmental experience, with minimal visual distractions.

Build the capacity to be stable in the present moment. McLaughlin suggests meditating seated and attending to the following:

Pay attention to your breath. After feeling the body in this upright, noble posture not too tight, not too loose McLaughlin suggests paying attention to the movement and rhythm of your breath, however it is occurring in the moment. Then, begin to notice thoughts. Dont expect that you are going to stop thinking or that you are going to stop having feelings or emotions, McLaughlin says.

Notice where your attention goes. While we are using the breath as an anchor for our attention, we are acknowledging that other things are going to come and go. As they do, notice, McLaughlin says. Use the moment of noticing as a reminder to bring our attention back to feeling the breath, with gentleness, without judgment, without criticism. Every time we notice and come back, we are strengthening the mind, we are taking responsibility for our experience.

Be honest in your present. In any calendar year, the holidays can include feelings of disconnection, isolation, or loneliness. During this Covid-19 time, we are being asked to separate ourselves further from one another. One of the most mindful things we can do, rather than expect ourselves to feel peaceful and calm in the midst of real challenge, is to admit to ourselves how tough it is right now, Bunn encourages. In this acknowledgment, Bunn suggests we offer ourselves some comfort.

Peel the sticker. When we are stressed and upset, it is often difficult to move forward because we cant separate from the very thoughts and emotions causing us distress. For example, Davis says, when clients say they are experiencing anger, they often also say they feel frustration toward that anger. To reduce the added stress and distraction of frustration and to better tune in to the original feeling of anger, Davis asks her clients to imagine peeling the frustration off like a sticker and holding it in their hand. Im not asking to banish the frustration or throw it away. Youre just trying to get a little bit of separation. Its almost like youre imagining holding it, rocking it, and taking care of it, like a little baby. In the moment that youre peeling it off and holding it, youre beginning to get separation. And, once the separation starts to happen, you can look back at the anger and say, Oh, Im not surprised that the anger came up. Im not totally crazy, and maybe I have a little bit more understanding and compassion now.

Attend with curiosity, compassion, and no agenda. As you meditate or increase your mindfulness in other ways, Davis suggests bringing curiosity and compassion to your noticing. For instance, if you are noticing sadness, Davis suggests asking questions such as, I wonder how long Ive been holding this? I wonder how old this feeling is? This type of curiosity will help you connect without agenda. Conversely, when we try to force things to go away, they often get bigger and more persistent. When we can access curiousness and compassion, then the wounded inner aspects of self get to relax, Davis explains.

Listen to how your body is responding. During the pandemic, Davis has found that people who have been practicing self-connection have felt less isolated because they have themselves. They are not missing things. They are recognizing the silver linings, such as the chance to relax or reboot, even with the emotional and financial difficulties, she says.

Use technology and virtual classes. Apps such as Headspace and Insight Timer offer easy access to meditations for every occasion and every level. Check out virtual meditation classes, such as those through the Chicago Shambhala Meditation Center, Marita McLaughlin, and Rush University Medical Center. If you are a veteran, find out more about services at the Road Home Program. Find internal family systems therapists through the IFS Institute.

Kathleen is a lover of embodied, joyous living and deep engagement inour nature. She is an award-winning author and life/movement coach.

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Using Meditation to Achieve Mindfulness - Chicago Health

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Almost half of all Americans who have yet to retire are anxious that they wont have enough savings to live comfortably in retirement, and that fear is most common among uncertain strugglers, one of five types of retirement savers identified in a new research paper.

Uncertain strugglers, with a median household income of $43,000 and median household assets of $13,000, by necessity are focused on making ends meet in the present, not the future, according to research from the Alliance for Lifetime Income, a group that promotes annuities as a tool for retirement income.

The alliance and research partner Artemis Strategy Group segmented Americans into five groups after conducting online interviews in August with 3,036 people ages 25 to 74. Participants answered questions about their expectations for retirement, the factors that shape their financial decisions, and their knowledge and interest in retirement planning, giving researchers a snapshot of their retirement readiness.

Barrons brings retirement planning and advice to you in a weekly wrap-up of our articles about preparing for life after work.

Uncertain strugglers make up about 29% of the U.S. population, according to the research, with the other types of retirement savers being ambitious risk-takers (28%), cautious preparers (17%), optimistic dreamers (13%), and purposeful planners (12%).

Heres a breakdown of the five types of retirement savers they found:

Ambitious risk-takers: This group generally is educated, optimistic, and young, with 49% under the age of 45 and 28% under 35. Full-time workers account for 72% of this group, the highest percentage among the five types of savers, and 52% have at least a bachelors degree.

This group has a median household income of $125,000 and the same amount in median household assets. Men make up 54% of this group, and 43% have a financial advisor. They are more likely to be open to new and different opportunities, and 75% expect their sources of income to last throughout retirement. They trust their financial advisors but do their own research and are more likely to consider themselves experts in retirement planning.

Cautious preparers: Men make up 56% of this group, which is fairly well educated, with 40% holding at least a bachelors degree. They skew older, with 68% being 45 or above and 20% being between the ages of 65 and 75. Their median household income is $88,000, with median household assets of $125,000.

Many cautious preparers have prepared for the worst and stuck with tried-and-true investment strategies. Though they have knowledge about retirement planning, they still have questions, so they do their own research and rely upon experts. Some have calculated their income needs in retirement, and 27% are retired, the highest percentage among the five types of savers.

Optimistic dreamers: Women account for 57% of this group, which skews young, with 49% under the age of 45 and 26% under 35. They have a median household income of $62,000 and median household assets of $38,000. They tend to be less educated, with 46% having a high-school diploma or less.

For optimistic dreamers, retirement seems far away, but they expect to lead active, rewarding lives as seniors. They generally have a basic understanding of retirement planning and contribute to their employers 401(k) or similar plans but arent fully comfortable with retirement planning and dont spend much time on it.

Few have calculated their income needs in retirement, and many make financial decisions based on instinct or through recommendations from family or friends.

Purposeful planners: It pays to be a member of this most exclusive group, which has a median household income of $125,000 and median household assets of $325,000. Men make up 58% of this group, which tends to be highly educated, with 52% having at least a bachelors degree. Many are nearing retirement or have already retired, with 42% ages 55 and older.

Purposeful planners are well positioned to enjoy retirement. Most have a financial plan, devote time to retirement planning, and have extensive knowledge about retirement planning. Purposeful planners are likely to enjoy managing their finances in retirement, with 78% expecting their sources of income to last throughout retirement, the highest percentage among the five saver profiles.

Uncertain strugglers: This group generally is pessimistic about living comfortably in retirement, with many expecting to rely on Social Security and help from family to get by.

Women make up 61% of this group, which is less educated than the others, with 56% having a high-school diploma or less. Uncertain strugglers rely on instinct and recommendations from family and friends to make financial decisions. Just 39% of this group works full time, the lowest figure among the five types of savers.

Though 57% of them are 45 or older, they dont know much about retirement planning, dont have a financial plan, and havent calculated their income needs in retirement. Only 24% expect their savings and sources of income to last throughout retirement, the lowest percentage among the five groups.

For optimistic dreamers, our recommendation is to really engage in financial-planning education. Youre really excited about retirement, but lets think about how youre going to get there, says Anne Aldrich, a partner at Artemis Strategy Group and a co-author of the report. Uncertain strugglers aspire to have some control over the direction of their financial lives, and many of them dont have a financial plan, so our recommendation is to gain a sense of control, take hold of the resources that they do have, and start taking the next steps toward developing a plan.

Write to us at retirement@barrons.com

Link:
There Are 5 Types of Retirement Savers, New Research Says. Which One Are You? - Barron's

IRA guru Ed Slott doesnt trust politicians with his taxesand doesnt think you should, either.

A well-known retirement expert (and a recovering certified public accountant), Slott leads seminars for financial planners, advises regular folks on how to retire securely and recently updated his 2003 classic, The New Retirement Savings Time Bomb, to address Congress latest indiscretions.

He recently spoke with Forbes Advisors Taylor Tepper about how savers should do whatever they can to avoid taxes in their golden years, even if it means paying taxes upfront. This interview has been lightly edited for clarity and length.

What is the retirement savings time bomb?

The time bomb is the tax liability building up in your individual retirement account (IRA). Most people dont think about it, but some of your IRA already belongs to the government. The question is how much.

Most retirement accounts are tax-deferred, not tax-free. You can have someone with a million dollars in their IRA, but its not all theirs.

When they take out the money, theyll have to pay taxes. You dont know exactly how much youll be able to keep unless you take action to lock it down now.

How can people defuse the tax bomb in their IRAs?

You cant rely on Congress to keep their word, so you must be proactive and take steps to keep more of your money. To pay as little tax as possible along the way you need to turn taxable accounts into tax-free accountsmove your money from accounts that I call forever tax to ones that are never tax.

So youre talking about converting to Roth IRAs, right? Youre a big fan Roths.

Not a big fan, a huge fan.

But many people have already built up their savings in an traditional IRA, or other tax-advantaged accounts, which means theyd have to use a backdoor Roth IRA conversion. Who would benefit from this?

Just about anybody who doesnt want to worry about the uncertainty of what higher future tax rates can do to their standard of living in retirement.

Lets say the top tax rates go up to 50%, just as an example. Youd have half the money you thought you had. So as rates go up, the value of your retirement savings effectively goes down.

The thing I like about the conversion is that it gives people certainty. People dont like the uncertainty of What is Congress going to do? We already know from their broken promises that we cant trust them.

But you dont think a Roth IRA conversion is the best move for everyone, right?

No, and I have a section in the book that describes who shouldnt do a Roth IRA conversion.

(Editors note: In his book, Slott advises against doing a Roth conversion if

OK, lets say I go ahead and do a backdoor Roth IRA conversion. What if youre wrong? What if Congress doesnt end up hiking tax rates substantially, a thing they have not done in years?

I do a lot of speaking engagements. I was doing a virtual program recently and someone told me, Ed, I went to your big two-day IRA training program 10 years ago and you said the same thing then. You said taxes were going to go up, and you know what? They didnt. In fact, they went down. You were wrong. What do you have to say about that?

I said, Well, if you had listened to me and converted to a Roth IRA 10 years ago, all of those gains from a booming stock market would have grown tax-free in your Roth IRA. Thats what I have to say about that.

So a Roth IRA conversion is a way to cover yourself, just in case?

I call Roth IRA conversions tax insurance. Thats why you get insurance: In case something bad happens. It doesnt matter how much they raise tax rates; your tax rate will be zero.

Any financial decision has benefits and drawbacks. You have to look at both sides to see whats best for you. With the Roth IRA, I look at the worst case scenario. Whats the worst thing that can happen? Lets say I was wrong and tax rates didnt go up. Youve still locked in a 0% tax rate on your gains for life.

Why dont more people do Roth IRA conversions?

The downside is that you pay taxes up front. But those are taxes youd have to pay anyway. Not if, but when. The only way to get money out of a traditional IRA, even if you just want to spend it, is to pay taxes.

Maybe some people really dont believe that Congress will raise their taxes?

You cant believe these guys. With the SECURE Act, they showed their hand again. The minute they need money the first thing they turn to is retirement savings. Why? Because that money is a big juicy steak to Congress because they know that money hasnt been taxed yet. Its low-hanging fruit.

As part of the SECURE Act, Congress made many IRA beneficiaries take withdrawals over 10 years instead of stretching them over a much longer time period. Why is that so bad?

The whole fact that Congress pulled the rug out from everybody when most people were relying on promises made by politiciansI know thats almost ridiculous to say. But they promised!? A congressman, a politician, can you believe that?

Many people made plans to stretch IRA savings a long way after they died.

This is why I begin my book with a chapter titled The Broken Promise. The theme is you cant rely on these guys, youll need to make your own plan, as best as you can.

But were mainly talking about adult child beneficiaries, right? Minor child beneficiaries, spouses and others are exempt. Basically Congress is scaling back the estate planning benefits of an IRA. Is that really so bad?

When youre planning for retirement, whats important is not what youre going to do tomorrow. Its a long-term plan, a 20- to 30-year plan. So you need to be able to rely on the rules. And the rules were the same for over 20 years, and then all of a sudden they changed them.

A lot of people I hear from are not super wealthy people. They simply arranged their life a certain way because thats what they wanted. Maybe they lived more frugally because they wanted to leave their kids and grandkids a legacy for years to come. So they adjusted their lives based on these rules.

What can someone do if they dont want to do a Roth conversion or if they still want to leave their adult children a financial legacy?

I have to tell you as a tax advisor, who doesnt sell life insurance or any financial product, the tax exemption for life insurance benefits is one of the single biggest pluses in the tax code and most people dont take advantage of it.

When I talk about life insurance Im talking about permanent cash value policies, and its very similar to Roth IRAs in the sense that you can leave someone tax free money.

But why should someone pay the premiums for a policy just to use it as an estate planning tool?

People want to know, Whats in it for me?

What most people dont know is that many policies, like my owneverything Im telling you Ive done myselfhave long-term care riders. You can tap into that life insurance money, in effect taking an advance, if you need it to pay these huge health bills later in retirement.

Thats one way to turn the tables on Congress. You just cant trust themyou have to trust yourself and do what you can to control your own tax rate.

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IRA Guru Ed Slott On Taxes, Retirement & Roth IRAs - Forbes

Carol Petrov

The way Certified Financial Planner Carol Petrov sees it, women in the advisory business are given only two options: a financial advisor who hunts and kills for their meat, or somebodys assistant with a steady paycheck.

Petrov, the vice president of Kendall Capital, started out as an advisor, switched after seven years to be a brokerage assistant (which she did for six years) and then returned to her FA career when she joined Kendall Capital in Rockville, Maryland, six years ago. With $310 million in assets under management, the RIAs client focus is Middle-Class Millionaires, and theyve trademarked the moniker.

Petrov, 48, specializes in retirement planning for seniors, which is often challenging because most of the firms older clients became millionaires by dint of saving all their lives and now worry that if they stop working, they wont be able to pay their bills.

In the interview, Petrov, who grew up in the Maryland suburbs and earned a B.S. from George Washington Universitys business school, talks about what drove her to give up advising and work instead as a client service associate at Morgan Stanley. The 2008-2014 stint was not fulfilling, as she explains.

To help both her and other women to an improved experience, she urged the firm to offer, as an alternative to evolving into an FA, financial planning jobs with flexible hours and steady pay that would allow for a better work-family balance. That appeal proved to be in vain.

The wirehouse firm still does not offer such opportunity, she says, but has two salaried programs for those who do aspire to become FAs: Wealth Advisor Associate, a diversity initiative leading to the Financial Advisor Associate Program, which trains people with no financial or sales background.

Morgan Stanley offers several career paths to employees within the Field Service Organization, a Morgan Stanley spokesperson said. The [two noted above] are designed to guide employees through extensive training and development to help them succeed as financial advisors.

ThinkAdvisor recently interviewed Petrov, who was speaking by phone from Rockville. She discussed her detoured career trajectory and her key goal as an advisor: To help clients have a good experience. I want [them] to be happy and come back for more and, she says, refer their friends.

Here are highlights from our conversation:

THINKADVISOR: Your firm specializes in serving Middle-Class Millionaires, a term that Clark Kendall, president and CEO, trademarked. Do such clients feel rich and have no worries about money?

CAROL PETROV: Quite the contrary. The majority have worked and saved by living within or below their means. They feel they have to continue to work and save, and that their retirement is the security of knowing they can keep living the way theyve been living. So they feel just as insecure as before [they became millionaires] and worry that if they stop working, they wont be able to pay their bills.

Did President Trumps Tax Cuts and Jobs Act help Middle-Class Millionaires?

No. That tax package had a huge [negative] impact on them. It really wreaks havoc on the higher middle class, whose tax rates tend to be around 20%-22%.

Just what was the change?

The state and local tax SALT deduction was capped at $10,000 [$5,000 for married filing separately]. Most of our clients have property taxes alone that are well over that. So between [losing] the state income tax deduction and the property tax deduction, some lost a good two or three times what they used to be able to deduct.

Will President-elect Joe Bidens tax proposal benefit Middle-Class Millionaire clients?

Thus far, hes proposed raising taxes on income above $400,000. Thats far ahead of most of our clients. Most have $400,000, but theyre not earning that amount [or more]. So theyll stay in the bracket theyre in now and remain hopeful that the SALT [change] will be reversed.

How did you get interested in working in financial services?

In 2000, I was in customer service as the manager of a restaurant in Bethesda and figuring out what I should do next. At the restaurant, I met three middle-aged [male] UBS financial planners who said I had the right personality to be an advisor. I wasnt interested in stocks. They said, No, no not stocks. Financial planning. I said, Whats that? And thats how I got into financial services.

Whats your key strength thats helped you in your work?

My ability to relate to people, to listen. As a financial planner, youre working to help clients have a good experience. To this day, I feel like Im still working for tips, [as in customer service]: I want my clients to be happy and come back for more, and refer their friends.

Your first job in the industry was financial advisor at Ameriprise Financial Services. From there, after a brief stint as an FA at First Financial Group, you joined Morgan Stanley as a registered service associate. Wasnt that a step down on your career ladder?

It was. As a woman in this business, youre given two options: financial advisor who hunts and kills for their meat you get clients and make commissions or else, youre somebodys assistant with a steady paycheck and regular hours.

Was steady pay and set hours necessary for your lifestyle?

At Ameriprise, I was compensated on commission. But [after becoming a mother with a young son and single], I needed [income] stability and good health benefits. Thats why I switched to being an assistant. At Morgan Stanley, I was able to have that.

As a woman in the male-dominated world of financial services, have you encountered discrimination or bias thats stymied your career?

I got my CFP while I was at Morgan Stanley; they paid for it. But they wouldnt put CFP on my business card. That was discriminatory.

Did you experience any slights there just because youre female?

Youre definitely not part of a club. Youre not invited to golf outings or happy hours. Theres definitely a clique of men that you will not be part of. I personally dont have any me-too stories, but Morgan Stanley is, kind of, notorious for the way they treated women. They had so many lawsuits when I was there.

Anything else that dampened your spirit?

Youre not taken very seriously by people in the industry. At Morgan Stanley, even the nicest of brokers would still see you as just staff. Thats when I realized there was nowhere to go unless I became an [MS] advisor. Youre either an advisor there or somebodys assistant. But I didnt want to become a broker [on commission] because Id lose my steady paycheck. I wanted to find a better way. Thats when I started looking around and researching fee-only RIA advisors.

Did you try for a promotion out of your support role?

Yes. I spoke to Morgan Stanley folks in New York, telling them, We have a lot of smart women [support staff] working here for years and years. They know your clients better than your brokers do. Would you make it so they could do financial planning, have client interaction and help bring in more business? But also, if youre a mom, give us the flexibility to take time off if, for example, you have to take your kid to the doctor.

What was the response?

Good point we should reach out more [sounding offhand]. Were designing another role for the women. And they would come up with names for various roles.

Why did you leave the firm?

I was assisting three brokers. It was very much like being on a hamster wheel. Youre helping these people succeed, but youre not going anywhere. So many women in this business are stuck in the wheel and cant seem to see a way out.

Youre the vice president of Kendall. Is it possible for you to advance there?

Clark picks my brain and runs things by me. In that way, he sees me as a partner. Were hiring people under me so I can be in more of a supervisory role some day and work only with clients that have the most intricate needs. The skys the limit here because were a growing [RIA] and dont have as many restrictions as a broker-dealer.

How can the industry attract more women to become financial advisors?

By saying, We offer you a career path that balances work and family life. The firms have to acknowledge that most women still have the primary responsibility of taking care of their kids.

How, specifically, could they provide that balance?

They have to be more flexible with their scheduling. One of the reasons they lose [female] talent is by not being flexible. They need to say, We know you work your tail off when youre here. Youre not goofing off like those guys [FAs] in the kitchen talking about football for three hours on Monday morning. So if [a mom] needs to leave a little early or come in late [because of parenting responsibilities], they have to understand.

Any advice for women who are thinking of becoming a financial advisor or for FA assistants who want to move up but feel frustrated?

The most important thing is to invest in yourself. Once you have the experience and knowledge, you need to decide whether to move up. Its helpful to join a financial planning association, attend webinars, learn more about different aspects of being an advisor and get your CFP.

Whats the biggest hurdle?

Getting that knowledge and acknowledgment of being a CFP. Once youre a CFP, youre like, Hey, I know my stuff and you have your ticket out.

View post:
Soothing the Retirement Fears of Middle-Class Millionaires - ThinkAdvisor

The Center for Retirement Research at Boston College published a brief saying public pension plans should avoid tailoring their investment strategies to satisfy calls for political, social and environmental justice, known as ESG (environmental, social and governance) investing.

The movement toward more socially and environmentally activist investing has gained traction in recent years and some investors are using it as a strategy to increase returns based on political, social and environmental movements.

According to CRR, The mechanism apparently must work through a decline in the value of stocks at bad companies and an increase in the value of stocks at good companies thereby encouraging more companies to adopt good behaviors.

However, CRR found that states adopting an ESG mandate for public pension plan investments earned lower returns than traditional investment strategies, often by a considerable margin, the authors wrote.

Even assuming that divestment and ESG inclusion were effective mechanisms to stop terrorism and slow the rise in the earths temperature and that state legislatures and pension fund boards are the right bodies to make foreign and climate policy, pension funds are not an appropriate vehicle for social investing, the CRR report states.

To put this finding in context, plans with state mandates have had them for an average of 10 years, the authors wrote. So the average annualized return for those with a state mandate would be 20 basis points lower than for those without a mandate.

Part of the problem is that ESG investing involves a number of different issues, ranging from guns and carbon emissions to the more nebulous social justice, which can all be distinct from each other.

Secondly, the researchers found that ESG investing is unlikely to affect the price of either the good or the bad companies. The report also noted that fees related to ESG investing tend to be significantly higher than traditional counterparts.

Connecticut manages over $37 billion through its Connecticut Retirement Plan Trust Fund investments, and in 2006 Connecticut was a signatory to the United Nations Principles for Responsible Investment, which gives guidelines to selecting investment partners based on ESG issues.

In a press release issued by the UN, former State Treasurer Denise Nappier said Financial markets tend to focus too heavily on short-term results at the expense of long-term and non-traditional financial fitness factors that could affect a companys bottom line. For many institutional investors it is the long-term that matters and in this context environmental, social and governance issues take on new meaning.

According to the 2019 Investment Policy Statement for Connecticuts retirement fund, which was authored by State Treasurer Shawn Wooden and approved by the Investment Advisory Council, the state is also taking a more active role in ESG investments.

Article VIII of the Investment Policy Statement says Connecticut will Integrate the potential risk and value impact that environmental, social, and governance (ESG) factors may have on CRPTFs investment program.

A main driver behind the integration of ESG into the investment process is the desire to identify and select investment partners and money managers that carefully review the effect of ESG on companies and to use appropriate criteria to invest in better managed companies to improve on invested capital, the policy statement says.

The statement continues to indicate that part of that ESG criteria will be to afford more opportunities to emerging, minority and women-owned and Connecticut-based investment partners.

In 2020 Wooden announced the Connecticut would divest roughly $30 million from civilian gun and ammunition manufacturers, part of Woodens Responsible Gun Policy.

According to the CRR, ESG has its roots in the 1970s when states moved to divest from tobacco, alcohol and gambling stocks, as well as divesting from companies who did business with South Africa which, at the time, had a policy of apartheid.

The investment movement has since moved on to encompass terrorist states, Iran, gun manufacturers and fossil fuel companies.

According to CRR, public pension plans applied ESG to at least $3 trillion in assets, which represents more than half of all assets in public pension funds.

See the original post:
Center for Retirement Research: Public pension plans should avoid investing based on social and environmental movements - Yankee Institute