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CSN: Dooling tired of lonely' life, retires from NBA
Keyon Dooling could have continued playing in the NBA.
A wave of surprise hit the league last week when the Boston Celtics announced they had waived Dooling and he would be retiring from the game. Why? Why would a passionate player who loves basketball -- and, just as importantly, the Celtics organization and his teammates -- hang it all up when he had the opportunity to play on a squad he believes will win it all this season?
Sometimes the biggest factors in an athletes life have nothing to do with the sport he or she plays. In this case, Doolings decision to leave the NBA didnt have much to do with basketball at all.
* * * * Laughter bounced off the beige walls of the Dooling household as his loved ones filled the rooms with warmth and happiness. On this particular late September evening, Dooling, his wife Natosha, daughters Deneal (11), Gabrielle (9) and Jordan (5), son Keyon Jr. (2), cousin Kevin (17), brother Cedric Johnson, and godbrother Harry Turner had gathered together. These were the people Dooling had left every few days for a road series. These were the people who had shared his attention with the demanding NBA schedule.
The average career is 4 1/2 years and I tripled that, almost, Dooling told CSNNE.com as he settled into a brown leather chair at the marble high top table in his dining room, his usual three-piece suit traded for a tailored, buttondown shirt and jeans. The grind of the NBA just has taken its toll on me, on my body. More so than that, my family . . . Ive missed birthdays, school conferences, dropping my kids off, school plays, school dances. Ive missed just being daddy so much.
"I have enough. I have all the resources I need, Im a blessed man. Im not limping away; I was able to walk away.
Dooling, the 10th overall pick in the 2000 NBA Draft, contemplated retirement five years ago. Then a member of the Orlando Magic, he underwent tests that revealed a degenerative hip. But at the time he was only 27, too young to stop. Besides, no one wanted him to.
I [thought about retirement] as soon as I found out [about the hip issue], Dooling explained. But I played ball for everybody else, for my family, and I still loved to play. I was still willing to go through that grind. Ive taken medicine, Ive gotten shots, Ive done a lot of things to be able to go out on that court. But I couldnt let my family down. They love to see me play ball.
Doolings career was never about himself. Thats not the way he lives his life. The needs of others have always come first, whether it's a close family member, a teammate, or a distant friend of someone he knows.
His willingness to help those around him made him one of the most accessible players in the NBA. From All-Stars like Dwight Howard and Rajon Rondo to players like Trevor Ariza, Courtney Lee and Jameer Nelson, Dooling -- the first vice-president of the NBA Players Association -- has spent personal time with countless athletes around the league, listening to their stories, offering advice, and providing a shoulder to lean on and a place to turn.
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CSN: Dooling tired of lonely' life, retires from NBA
Feeling Lonely – A Life Coach Antony Birks Video Affirmation – Life Coaching – Video
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Feeling Lonely - A Life Coach Antony Birks Video Affirmation - Life Coaching - Video
All of Us Are Strangers: How love is the most revolutionary act of self-awareness – The Federal
Andrew Haighs All of Us Strangers, which is still playing in some theatres, impressed upon me a lesson that I have learned with a lot of heartache over the last couple of years: Love is, in its simplest form, the ability to see and, in turn, be seen. Andrew Scott plays Adam, a lonely screenwriter in London, with a traumatic past. In the first few minutes themselves, the dimly-lit frames and scenes carefully induce a tangible feeling of heaviness.
Adam is visibly alone in his life. Time passes outside his window as the lights shift on the horizon, but in his apartment, time exists in a vacuum takeout food sits morosely in tin foils in the refrigerator, he sleeps on his couch, with no one to cover him with a blanket. Suddenly, his doorbell rings and the nauseating ghetto of loneliness is punctured He opens the door of his apartment to Paul Mescals Harry in a baby pink jumper, drunk and desperate, appealing to Andrew Scotts Adam to let him in both into his apartment and, by extension, his life.
Love, the movie suggests, is also the simple but infinitely brave act of keeping the door open long enough for someone to come in, and build a home with us. But Adam closes the door on an unnervingly starved and alone Harry, perhaps to protect himself from his clearly sexual advances, or simply because he is imprisoned by his loneliness so much that the choice to open the door is not even real to him he must keep the literal door closed too, as a comorbid condition of that loneliness.
Queer loneliness
After decades of struggles, protests and brutalisation, LGBTQ+ issues have become relatively more public and accessible. But we are far from addressing, let alone understanding how queerness is married to loneliness. The film makes sure that despite the bustling crowds around Adam whether he is on a train or in a club he is almost always alone.
Adam lives in this menacing high-rise, which is also depicted on the posters, but each window represents loneliness, more than other lives, because for all its splendour, modernity is after all a poor excuse for crippling communal estrangement and mutual disconnection from each other. In one of the most poignant scenes in the movie, Harry tells Adam: I always felt like a stranger in my own family anyway. Coming out just puts a name to the difference that had always been there.
The title of Andrew Haighs ghost romance suggests that all of us remain strangers to each other, because somehow the act of knowing the other even within our families comes at the discomfort of effort. To open our world to the possibility that the others own world too exists. Attitude magazine described the movie as a tender examination of love in the shadow of shame. Which perhaps also comes close to describing the radical costs of love: at so many levels, it requires us to wade through the complicated shame of vulnerability which is so tangibly demanding a feeling, perhaps especially for the LGBTQ community.
Everyone wants to be seen, to be found, but for queer people, the experience is often so postponed that they close themselves off from the possibility itself. Or worse, fear being vulnerable, lest they expose themselves to the defeat of rejection or abandonment a feeling they are already made to feel from a young age. Families often abandon them or stop talking to them out of anger, friends more often than not drift apart, relationships are somehow so much more challenging
Coming out the constant confessional nature of it notwithstanding is one of the most difficult things to do when queer individuals know how keeping the silence and repressing their truth buys them peace at home. In one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the movie, Adam comes out to his father, and tells him how he was bullied in school: Theyd call me a girl. Refuse to play with me. Flick drawing pins at my face and flush my head down the loo. But Adam never told any of this at home as a child. As so many queer children dont. To avoid their parents the disappointment, perhaps, and so many times to avoid confronting the pain themselves. Silence and loneliness reinforce each other.
To love, to be loved
Adam (as so many of us will identify with) describes his helpless loneliness as a knot in his heart. It is falling in love with Harry, finally, which not only reveals the knot and its smothering force, but also permits Adam the tools to unravel this knot. Often queer individuals develop a structure/ghetto of loneliness around themselves as a survival mechanism. Growing into ones queerness, then, is so frequently (and sometimes tiringly) about unmaking and unlearning these survivalist behaviours.
There are so few happy queer stories, as Andrew Sean Greer has often talked about. And while Haighs movie is incredibly heavy with emotions, theres something so reassuring, uplifting about it too. In the simplest way, it is a testament to the triumphant quality of love, which even through the worst times or perhaps especially through the worst times can protect us so often from ourselves.
With an almost shocking ability to anticipate the next feeling, and present it with stunning accuracy, Haighs screenplay (available to read online) registers moments of tenderness and grief, and the heartbreaking process of healing old wounds with a double-layered plot. While Adam and Harrys relationship builds, Adam also finds his own past clouding over the tender bliss of new-found love. Adam tells Harry at one point how all the scabs that seem to have healed, really dont. It doesnt take much to be back there again, does it? Skin all fucking raw, feeling how you used to feel.
Haighs screenplay, inspired by Taichi Yamadas ghost novel Strangers, rallies for a simple message: While love begins with a sort of suspension of logic, it is indeed the most revolutionary and violent act of self-awareness. It makes us weak as it breaks all of our walls, and reveals to us the embarrassingly vulnerable and fragile children we are at heart. But isnt that itself paradoxically one of the most powerful things that can happen to us? Exposing to us the awful realisation that in the pursuit of self-preservation, we complied with the conditions of a cruel world, and forgot that that child exists within us who just wants to be loved, and to love.
The language of tenderness
One of my favourite scenes from the movie is when Adam and Harry talk about their respective childhoods after making love passionately, but its not the sex that builds intimacy as Haighs note in the screenplay directs: More than sex, its a mutual understanding of something shared that brings deepening intimacy. Harry leans in and kisses him.
While loneliness is one of the most challenging conditions of queerness, it seems that its consequences are far worse when we forget to care about ourselves. So often, whether its after enduring the grand heartbreaks of a breakup or everyday anguishes of living, we give up on ourselves, because its the easiest thing to do. And so often we also convince ourselves that we deserve our loneliness, too.
Haighs project with this movie seems to be to remind all of us strangers that we are capable of love, and being loved. That we too can find (or stumble upon) care and safety, even in this not-very-promising swipe-right world of modern relationships because these are the basic necessities of living and enduring, and indeed what else can we put all our hopes on, if not love?
Every response to the movie that I have read online has been deeply moving too, with so many people writing about how Adams story reflected theirs. How the loneliness of the movie became theirs. How the promise and incredible power of love is something they crave too. One review just said that they felt held by the movie. The language of touch is one of our most profound achievements, I would argue, because in so many ways its also something that makes us real to each other. All of Us Strangers triumphs in this understanding, too.
Much like Haighs phenomenal series released a decade ago, Looking which masterfully explores the parabolas of queer desire, with their crests and valleys All of Us Strangers presents passion with a careful intensity, fletched with mutual care and love. Intimacy that is more than physical, always. And so a movie about a London-based screenwriter finds resonance across borders because we all experience loneliness in similar ways, and we all know that to be cared for, and to care for someone is what can save us, change us, and keep us going in a burning world. Tennessee Williams wrote that we have not long to love: a night, a day and that we live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love.
All of Us Strangers is the promise of a haunting forever, especially when we are all yearning for a forever that never seems to exist or is not enough. It is, in the most gut-wrenching, but also reassuring way, a guide, not a warning. That love is, in its most profound state, an awful feeling that pushes us to madness. But its all we have, and thats always enough.
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All of Us Are Strangers: How love is the most revolutionary act of self-awareness - The Federal
Headspace XR made me forget how much I hate meditation tech – The Verge
I am not a chill person, but I would like to be. Its why I keep trying various meditation tech, breathing in and out as abstract graphics or disembodied voices guide me to a higher state of being. Or thats what would happen if most meditation tech worked for me. So trust me when I say I expected nothing from Headspace XR.
When the pandemic struck, meditation and mindfulness apps like Headspace were everywhere. Totally makes sense. Yet meditating in VR? It sounds ridiculous. Why would I breathe in a headset when I could just... not. But you never know! Things could surprise you! Thats why I, the meditation skeptic, agreed to try a demo of Headspace XR. Walking into Metas New York office, I thought Id stick on the headset and nod politely while strangers mulled around watching me wear a Quest 3 and breathe deeply. Technically, that is what happened, but I was surprised that I actually enjoyed what I was seeing inside the headset.
Headspace XR is what youd get if you took the Headspace app and turned it into a virtual playground. You walk around as an abstract, gender neutral avatar and there are different locations you can go to and... play. Theres a bunch of fountains where you pick up colorful orbs and throw them at walls or breathe and inhale the colors into your avatar. Theres a place called the Energy Dome where you go and wave your arms around while tracing shapes. The best I can describe it is if Beat Saber and tai chi had a baby. Im sure I looked goofy from the outside, but inside the Energy Dome I was having a good time.
You can also pull up a little map to view all the areas within this mental health playground. A giant mood stream, where six balloons with faces representing various emotions await you. Touching one will tailor the experience to whether youre feeling happy, sad, bored, anxious, angry, or lonely. Theres a mural with slingshots lined up in front of it that you fling virtual balls of paint at that eventually uncover a message. (At my demo, it was Be present.)
Theres actually a lot of slingshots. At one point, we were encouraged to just fling balls through giant shapes in the sky breathing in when you pull back and exhaling when you let er rip. You can also invite friends to come hang out with you in various public spaces and club houses. The most traditional experience I tried was visiting the Boxy Treehouse. Its a virtual tree house at sunset where you can see a visualization of box breathing, a deep breathing technique to calm the nervous system.
The whole thing felt like a pill pocket for meditation. But instead of hiding medicine in a treat for your pets, youre learning meditation skills through playing games. Thats by design.
There are five pillars of mindfulness that we talked about specifically at Headspace. Theres meditate, move, eat, sleep, and play. Play, to me, is something that we could really, really access in the world of VR, that was tough to access in the world of 2D, says Sara Cohen, vice president of content creation at Headspace.
Another feature launching in Headspace XR is more mixed reality experiences. I didnt get to try this during the demo, but I was told that theyre designed to let you interact with your actual surroundings. For example, one lets you draw a window in your room and a guided visualization lets you see positive energy bubbles fly through that window and into your space.
The idea is to bring the practice into your everyday life. Because its not so much about techniques and exercises. Mindfulness is really a lifestyle, says Kessonga Giscombe, one of Headspaces mindfulness and meditation teachers. Its the same thing with the XR experience.
Thats a good sentiment, though Im still skeptical about meditating in VR overall. Last week, I tried the Mindfulness app in the Apple Vision Pro and that typical Look at these shapes and breathe gratefully experience never resonated with me. So as a meditation skeptic, theres something to Headspace XRs approach that feels fresh. I would try it again. Thats even though a part of me knows Im being fed something good in the guise of a game. But if its good for me, and I enjoy it, does it really matter how I get there?
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Headspace XR made me forget how much I hate meditation tech - The Verge
Headspace Launches Social VR Mindfulness App on Quest Thats More Than Just Meditation – Road to VR
Headspace, the company behind the sleep and meditation mobile app, announced the release of Headspace XR, which combines social VR connection and a number of mindfulness techniques that aims to combat loneliness, anxiety and depression.
Developed by Nexus Studios and published by Headspace, Headspace XR arrives exclusively on Quest today, bringing with it both mixed and virtual reality experiences that include mood-boosting games, one-on-one guided meditations, and techniques the company says help users strengthen their mind-body connection through movement and breathwork.
Headspace describes its new XR app as a virtual playground where you can move, play, meditate, or just explore on your own or adventure with your friends all in breathtaking immersive environments.
The company says with Headspace XR, its especially reaching out to younger generations since they tend to feel loneliness more acutely, noting that 27 percent of Gen Z report feeling very or fairly lonely which usually comes alongside physical or emotional symptoms due to things like stress, such as feeling depressed or sad, or lacking interest, motivation or energy.
This age demographic is at a critical juncture of learning how to build lifelong mental health habits, the studio says. With the extended reality activities in Headspace XR, players can learn how to incorporate mindfulness techniques into their everyday lives, while also participating in positive socialization and community building with their friends.
Additionally, Headspace says its conducting a randomized control trial at Virginia Tech later this year to evaluate how Headspace XR helps people with social health and connection, as well as perceived and objective stress.
Headspace XRis now available on the Quest Store for a one-time purchase of $30.
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Headspace Launches Social VR Mindfulness App on Quest Thats More Than Just Meditation - Road to VR
HEADSPACE LAUNCHES IMMERSIVE MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION APP – Tech & Digital – Verge Magazine
Headspace, the provider of the worlds most accessible, comprehensive mental health system, andNexus Studios, an award-winning global studio in film and experience design, today released an immersive reality experience calledHeadspace XR, available exclusively in the Meta Quest Store. A first-of-its-kind, immersive playground for the mind,Headspace XRincorporates both mixed and virtual reality experiences, including mood-boosting games, one-on-one guided meditations, and techniques to help users strengthen their mind-body connection through movement and breathwork.
Headspace XRwas designed to engage younger generations particularly Gen Z with mindfulness and meditation tools through a new and innovative medium. According to astudyconducted by Gallup and Meta, a quarter of adults worldwide feel very or fairly lonely. Younger generations (ages 19-29) feel loneliness more acutely, with 27 percent reporting they feel very or fairly lonely. Additionally, a recent analysis of NHS data byThe Independent showed that one in five 8 to 25 year olds have a probable mental health disorder in 2024, up from one in eight in 2017. This age demographic is at a critical juncture of learning how to build lifelong mental health habits. With the extended reality activities in Headspace XR, players can learn how to incorporate mindfulness techniques into their everyday lives, while also participating in positive socialisation and community building with their friends.
Research showsthat when humans play, our brains are activated in a way that can impact overall life satisfaction and emotional well being. Unfortunately, our day-to-day lives are often stripped of this opportunity, said Sara Cohen, vice president of content creation at Headspace. Together with Meta and Nexus Studios, were thrilled to combine the power of play with meditation and mindfulness in an immersive experience that also allows you to build community by engaging in Headspace XR together with your friends.
Later this year, Headspace will conduct a randomised control trial to evaluate how Headspace XR helps people with social health and connection, as well as perceived and objective stress, at Virginia Tech. The study aims to explore the direct mental health benefits of mindfulness in virtual environments, specifically providing evidence supporting the effectiveness of using Headspace in the metaverse. This will also contribute to the scientific exploration of the applicability of immersive reality in the future of digital health.
For Meta Quest owners, Headspace XR is a single or multiplayer experience designed to help users:
Players keep saying to us, I didnt know mindfulness could be like this! We love that theyre getting to experience the benefits of these science-based mindfulness techniques while having fun and spending time with friends, said Deborah Casswell, executive creative director, Nexus Studios. This response really encapsulates our ambition for the project. Nexus Studios took the best of the Quest platform its social, immersive, playful qualities and reimagined Headspaces powerful mindfulness techniques for a younger audience.
Headspace XR, developed by Nexus Studios and published by Headspace, is available in English on Meta Quest 3, Meta Quest 2 and Meta Quest Pro beginning March 6, 2024, in single and multiplayer Immersive 360 formats. Headspace XR will be available for 22.99 as a one-time purchase. The experience is rated E (Everyone).
To try out Headspace XR for yourself, visit theMeta Quest Store.
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HEADSPACE LAUNCHES IMMERSIVE MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION APP - Tech & Digital - Verge Magazine
Feeling Like You Don’t Want to Go to Yoga? Read This. – Yoga Journal
Heading out the door? Read this article on the new Outside+ app available now on iOS devices for members! Download the app.
I dont want to go to yoga.
Id much rather stay put in my favorite corner of the couch because Ive finally arranged the pillows just right and buried myself in this blanket. I simply cannot fathom leaving this position to do a Sun Salutation.
Id much rather scroll through every single app on my phone. Ive already checked email, of course, but I still have not looked at the weather forecast for the rest of the month, or checked if Ive received any new LinkedIn messages in the last three hours, or if the money in my bank account is still there. There are many apps to check, you see. And I cant check them if Im in Warrior 3.
I dont want to go to yoga.
Id much rather think about the snacks in my pantry and debate sweet versus salty. Or maybe order delivery. Indian? Thai? Sushi? Ah, yes, theres far more pleasure found tip-toeing to find treats in the kitchen than in hearing the teacher say come into Pigeon.
Id much rather check out whats on Netflix. I mean, Ive watched everything already, but theres that series Ive been thinking about rewatching. And then there might be something new on Hulu or Apple TV+. After all, why go into Upward Bow when I could watch a new true crime show?
I dont want to go to yoga.
Id much rather see what multi-level marketing my high school nemesis is hustling on Facebook, watch my friends baby trying avocado on Instagram, or catch up on cat videos on TikTok. And look, a wedding! Forget Plank Pose; I must thoroughly assess the dress she chose.
Id much rather slow blink at my cat or have a staring contest. Sure, he has a 95 percent success rate, but Im really gunning to inflate my five percent. And doesnt science show that playing with your pet is a form of relaxation? Who then really needs breathwork and meditation?
I dont want to go to yoga.
Id much rather reorganize my closet. After all, a new season is coming and Ive had the itch to put clothes I no longer wear in a bag, put said bag into the trunk of my car, and wait seven more months before dropping the bag off for donation. And now that I see the options in my closet, Id much rather put on my sweats than a yoga mindset.
Id much rather practice Savasana from home. Underneath the covers, in my pjs, with my previously chosen snack. Besides, I can always ask Alexa to turn on a guided visualization so that I can stay, quite comfortably, in my state of stagnation.
I dont want to go to yoga.
Alas, Netflix just asked if I was still watching (the nerve!) and my neck is kind of hurting from looking down at my phone. The thought comes up sneakily, maybe I should go to yoga?
I look at my yoga mat, sitting lonely by the door, and think about the cold lavender-scented towels doled out after class. Would it really be so bad? I need to wash my hair anyway, so I may as well get all sweaty. I look to see if I can make it to class at 6:30. Google Maps tells me I can make it in twenty.
I didnt want to go to yoga.
The teacher asks us to think of an intention. My intention today is to return to my couch as soon as possible. But then they remind us to relax our shoulders and only then do I realize how much tension Ive been holding. And after a full day lounging in Couch Pose, I dont so much mind Chair Pose. And with my new yoga glow, it shows.
Now its after class, and I feel criminally fantastic. That neck ache? Gone! That anxiety that was snaking around my chest all week? Vanished! That pose Ive been trying to get into for months and months? Crushed it! And Im not one to gloat, but I felt pretty strong in Boat.
I didnt want to go to yoga.
But now? Im one happy lady heading home after Happy Baby. And you know what? Forget whats in my pantry or on TV. When I get back, Im going to fall asleep early and wake up for the 8:30.
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Feeling Like You Don't Want to Go to Yoga? Read This. - Yoga Journal
What You Need to Master to Thrive in This Crazy World – The Good Men Project
Lets talk about MASTERY.
I use the word quite often. Mastery is an obsession for me.
My upcoming Masterclass is called,How to Become a World Class Transformational Coach,which means,How to be a Master at what you do.
What does Mastery mean in aVUCAworld? VUCA is a term that meansvolatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous. Its a good description of the constant and unpredictable change thats now the norm.
What skills do you need to masterin order to navigate a churning ocean, or a hurricane, or our social-political-economic-cultural-environmental war- ground?
Here are my conclusions. Id love to hear yours.
This is the ability to keep your head on straight while others around you are losing theirs. Its the stand you take in the eye of the hurricane, watching the chaos without getting caught up in it or reacting to it. It gives you more options for responding appropriately when difficulties arise. Staying awake means being aware of ALL aspects of yourself physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, energetic, relational, and worldly (as an economic and political citizen in the larger social structure).
It means knowing your needs, wants, and desires, your moods and your intentions, your place and your identity as a complex every-changing force of nature. It means knowing your environment and the humans around you, understanding your philosophy, psychology, and physiology. Its being observant and caring in your relationships, and remaining grounded in the shifting reality of this world.
It means remembering who you are beyond this one short physical life, as an evolving soul, and the true purpose youre here for.
Oscar Wilde said,The only thing I cannot resist is temptation.Today, temptation is everywhere all the time, 24/7/366. There is a constant flow of emails, social media, junk food, reality shows, 500 channels of crap on TV, news feeds and the news itself, and that supercomputer you can slip into your pocket. Our brain-mind is an addiction-based machine. We are easily addicted to substances, ideas, traumas, relationships, pleasures the list is endless.
Mastery is remembering whats important to you, what you value, and which virtues you are actively practicing.* When you use your principles as the foundation of your choices (rather than the latest dopamine syringe), you can stay healthy and happy rather than sick and lonely. This means saying No to the endless parade of temptations. That ability is usually called willpower, but a better way to think about it is virtue-power, value-power, and purpose-power. Youre here on Earth to accomplish something important. Let that purpose be your guide when you choose where to place your attention.
If you decide to climb a great mountain or explore a jungle, you first do a lot of research. You consult with experts, gather the right companions, and make sure you have the maps, tools and equipment you need to make the long journey and deal with unknowns.
Your life is an expedition, and when you take it as seriously as climbing Everest, you can be prepared for whatever happens next. What maps are you using to navigate through your life? What experts are you learning from? Have you developed the strengths and skills you need to get from here to the end of your life? Do you have companions who are mutually committed to everyones well being? Do you have the equipment and tools to deal with the many ways things can go wrong?
TheClear Beliefs Methodis a specialized tool-set for getting through the jungle of life to your destination. In a thick jungle, the tool you use the most is a machete for clearing whatever is in your way at the moment (in the jungle of your belief system). With this one tool, you can then move forward, one step at a time, and get through the entire jungle to your destination.
This may be the most difficult skill to master because it goes against our deepest programming. To our early hominid ancestors,Unknown = Danger. A rustling in the grass could be the wind, or a predator looking for a tasty snack. Our brains want to knowwhat is soandwhat it means, becauseKnown = Safe. This is one of the underlying mechanisms of our belief system. Weconstantlyidentify patterns in our environment and categorize them for survival. This means that the brain would rather have certainty than truth its better to know something that ISNT so than it is to NOT-know, because not-knowing creates the feeling of intense anxiety.
The brain is an efficient predictive machine. A lot of the brains energy is dedicated to remembering the past (especially negative experiences) and predicting or projecting what could happen in the future. This mechanism is fantastic for surviving in an environment where everything known stays pretty much the same. But thats not the environment we live in today.
Our brains and egos were not designed for a VUCA world, where everything changes all the time and information overload is always present. We need to re-design ourselves for this new environment.
To function as a Master in this world requires the ability to sit comfortably in the unknown, alert and awake, without the need toknow for sure.You stay firmly seated in the present moment, responding from your deep knowing of yourself especially when that knowing includes your chosen virtues, values, and divine purpose.
No, it requires a lot of inner work.
Is it important?Absolutely if you have the ambition to create a better future and want to thrive in this rapidly shifting world.
Is it worth the effort?Yes. Ask any Master.
Then ask if they will take you on as an apprentice.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
May you find your way to Mastery and create a great life for yourself, your loved ones, and the generations to come,
With love,
Lion Goodman, PCC
Creator of the Clear Beliefs Method & the Clear Beliefs Coach Training
PS: * Download my free guide to the Virtueshere.
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What You Need to Master to Thrive in This Crazy World - The Good Men Project
7 Unconventional Forms Of Therapy That Will Make You More Alive Than 98% Of People – YourTango
We live in a soft world where the slightest sign of discomfort can be regarded with concern and even panic.
Did someone say something you found hurtful?
Time to go to a therapist, who can make you feel worse about your issues because now youre talking about them emphasizing them.
Therapy has its place, especially if you need that initial pull out of the quagmire of overthinking by someone who can provide a third-party view.
Most of us have been so conditioned to avoid conflict that we skip having needed conversations with people out of habit.
But the difficult, open, and honest discussions often solve your problems.
Poor communication will ensure people remain resentful and confused with bottled emotions.
Take some courage, say the hard thing to those who need to hear it, and feel the relief rise.
RELATED:How To Have Peaceful Conversations With People You Totally Disagree With
Reacting to things is allowing external stimuli to guide your behavior without thought.
Someone triggers you, and you fly into a rage.
Someone dumps you, and youre miserable for weeks, crying into endless tubs of ice cream.
To react is to die slowly.
The alternative is always to create and its what humans were built to do. Its the expression of your humanness.
So create and live.
Make something of your predicament. Dont react and die.
Much of the time, if were feeling low and we cant describe why its a sign were allowing fear to control our lives.
Were trapped and limited by our self-imposed limitations.
Dont allow this to go on.
Identify your fears. Call them out by name.
Then ask, Whats one tiny step I can make today that will bring me confidence in this area?
No matter how simple, do it. Practice always diminishes fear.
This is a priority because breaking free of limits always matters.
RELATED:The Singular Fear That's Destroying Your Relationship And 8 Ways To Stop It
A huge chunk of the population believes there is some value to worrying. It keeps them safe.
No. No, it doesnt. It keeps you miserable.
And you already know this. So, instead of ruminating on whats wrong with your life and what you need to fix about yourself, redirect your attention to things youcancontrol.
You can choose gratitude.
You can also choose to quit worrying and take up a new hobby.
You can choose to be present and in the flow of action. Your choice.
Salvation from pain lies here.
Im not talking about being reckless.
But there is something to be said for activities that contain some considered risk.
How can we ever feel alive if we dont ever taste an echo of death?
Be willing to take some calculated and pre-determined risks.
Go on a motorcycle trip to India. Climb a mountain. Ask someone out. Write the book youre scared to write. Run a class. Go on regular adventures that push you out of comfort, leaving you exhilarated.
This is the best kind of vaccine for weakness there is.
RELATED:Stop Worrying About People Who Arent Worried About You
We all have that thing we know we should do that we keep holding off and avoiding.
Maybe you need to finally clean the circus that is your kitchen.
Or perhaps you need to sign up for that class so you can finally get some socializing time this year.
Whatever it is, we all have that thing that eats at our soul because we arent doing it.
What is that thing? Put the dang thing in your calendar, and get it done.
Now THATs therapy.
A sense of sadness or even depression is often attached to the idea that difficult things are happeningtous.
A far more empowered self-vision is to view things happeningbecauseof us.
This is to immediately assume a leadership position, and it instantly feels better.
Dont allow yourself to melt into misery by feeling sorry for yourself.
Why?
Snap out of it.
Life sucks for all of us. Youre no different.
Life is how you make it. So make it great and turn your attention to leading, mentoring, and helping others.
Forget you, for Gods sake, please. If you feel anxious, help others feel calm. If youre lonely, go and make someone else feel good. If you feel stuck, go and help a friend get unstuck.
Its all about where you put your attention. Leaders dont self-obsess they lead.
Photo:Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels
RELATED:Why Having Mentors Can Help Your Career Take Off
AlexMathersis a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.
Excerpt from:
7 Unconventional Forms Of Therapy That Will Make You More Alive Than 98% Of People - YourTango
Matt Rife Is Such A Great Comic That He Needs Jordan Peterson to Explain Why Hes Funny – Cracked.com
Matt Rife is in the dog house with his mostly female fanbase, so, to save his career, hes asking for help from a figure who earned massive online success without a single woman fan Jordan Peterson.
Just weeks ago,Rife commanded one of the largest and most fervent following of women in the online comedy community. With his (possibly literally) sculpted jawline, his impressive physique and his enthusiasm for suggestive interactions with fans, Rife was equally beloved by Gen Z girls as he was by their mothers and grandmothers. However, in his debut Netflix special,Natural Selection, which skyrocketed to the top of the charts upon its November 10th release, Rife made a deliberate effort to distance himself from the pretty boy persona that turned off many male comedy fans from taking the Ohio-born social media star seriously. Rife infamously opened the special with a Nothing, you already told her twice-esque joke about domestic violence, which sparked media controversy and blowback from women in his fandom who felt betrayed by his sudden and intentional heel-turn towards insipid, unoriginal dude-bro comedy.
Over the weekend, Rife appeared on the podcast of a popular figure in the manosphere, a corner of the outrage-driven internet where Rife clearly believes he belongs. Peterson, an author, commentator and psychologist who represents the pseudo-intellectual spearhead of the alt-rights culture warriors, embraced Rife for refusing to back down to his detractors bysarcastically posting an apology with a link to a special-needs helmet store. Peterson described Rifes reaction to his critics as a witty, fast, brave and appropriate response to the situation and you can tell that Peterson really believes that Rife is hilarious by how his assessment of the joke has the seriousness of a eulogy.
I thought the joke was funny risky, and funny and I thought your response was dead on, Peterson told Rife with a stern scowl splashed across his face. The controversial conservative commentator declared that Rife had been canceled, using the comics situation as a microcosm for the issues of censorship and sensitivity that Peterson has spent the last decade complaining about on the internet. While describing Rife as a profoundly persecuted martyr, Peterson called the controversy a tempest in a teapot and wished that Rifes idiot accusers would all pass away and spend eternity in hell composed of nothing but people like them talking to them.
Rife said of his controversial opening bit onNatural Selection, Its a modern twist on an old joke, claiming, I wanted to put my own spin on it with it being the tired copy/pasted gag where a woman is beaten and a man says that she deserved it for failing some household duty, sometimes calling her a broken down dishwasher. Rife characterized his style as high risk, high reward, a point with which Peterson emphatically agreed on the grounds that the woke mob now wages war on the comic as the result of the courageous risks he takes. At the time of publication,Natural Selectionis still streaming on Netflix and Rife is not imprisoned for charges of being too provocative.
Of course, the real problem with the bit that Rife and Peterson dissected with all the humor and playfulness of a deposition is self-evident by the comics failure to inspire so much as a smile from his host the joke just wasn't funny. Much like Rifes ensuing promotional tour on the alt-right podcast circuit, Natural Selection was a cynical attempt to rebrand Rife as a guys guy comic worthy of the grift that Peterson and his fellow podcasters in the comedy world continue to exploit for massive financial gain. Whether onstage or on Petersons show, Rifes problem is that he isnt trying to make people laugh hes trying to pander to a specific group whom he sees as his path to greater success than he had with his former female following.
At no point was this more obvious than when Peterson asked Rife why he reached out to the alt-right psychologist to organize an appearance on the show. Rife replied, Im a huge fan, man. Listen, you and I have never met, and Ill be truthfully honest, I havent done extensive research into everything youve done. But I find you to be a very kind man, and very well spoken, and someone who stands on their morals and the realism of society today. And I think that is incredibly rare. Despite being a huge fan, Rife couldnt even be bothered to do his research about his host while maneuvering to access his platform of potential you just cant joke about anything nowadays comedy fans. Rifes move to appear on Petersons podcast stinks like another lazy, calculated attempt to earn the aesthetic of edginess without doing any of the intellectual work to actually push boundaries.
For that reason, I fully expect the scheme to pay off and for Peterson fans to rally behind Rife in his new phase as the most popular incel-adjacent comic in podcasting. Peterson can teach Rife plenty about pandering to angry, lonely men on the internet, even if he cant connect to Rifes past of ever once enjoying the affection of women.
Original post:
Matt Rife Is Such A Great Comic That He Needs Jordan Peterson to Explain Why Hes Funny - Cracked.com