As a girl growing up in a city in northern Togo near the Burkina Faso border in West Africa, Lili Klu figured out that a conventional education really wasnt for her. At 15, she decided to learn a trade: sewing. She turned out to be such a natural that she was able to complete the three-year program in one year. When she moved to San Diego with her husband in 2000, she opened L.K. Fashion Boutique on El Cajon Boulevard and has recently started a non-profit program, Lilis Fashion Academy, to teach sewing and the business of fashion design to women.

I love the creativity (of sewing and fashion), the appreciation on a clients face and that I could educate and empower women, she says. Fashion is always about risk, and one of the biggest aspects of creativity is risk. You need it if you want to be successful in the fashion industry. Risk will set you apart from all the designers, and for me to become a designer speaks to my love for fashion and sewing.

Klu, 41, lives in the Grantville neighborhood with her husband and two sons. She took some time to talk about her new non-profit program, her favorite African fashion designers and her inspiration when creating clothes.

Q: Tell us about Lilis Fashion Academy.

A: Its an educational sewing institute that focuses on teaching the skills needed to master sewing with a variety of techniques needed for a successful career in sewing. Sewing machines helped to emancipate women as it gave them a commercially marketable skill. We believe that as our students learn how to sew for themselves and others, they will obtain these marketable skills that will encourage them to become entrepreneurs and financially support themselves, their families, and supply jobs for people in their community.

The program will develop each participants employment readiness because sewing is a window into history, sociology and economics. This class is designed to get students to complete the program knowing the basics of threading the machine, working the controls, selecting stitches, sewing straight lines and curves, and sewing basic seams while pushing them to specific sewing techniques.

Q: How does the academy work?

A: New students will register and pay a $100 registration fee and get an introduction to the program. Then, theyll start lessons that I teach. To successfully complete the year-long program (which requires no other payments beyond the registration fee), students are required to complete an eight-week capstone project. The project consists of students designing their own fashion concept to fit a specific model. This will be a platform where students take what they learned throughout the course of the program and apply it to examine a specific idea around a model. Each student must make five outfits for five models for their graduation fashion show. On graduation day, the students receive a certificate of completion, and owners of fashion businesses in San Diego will be invited to attend the fashion show to see the skills of our students and to offer them future employment.

This is the first year of the program and we currently have eight students who will graduate next March.

Q: How would you describe LK Fashion Boutique?

A: Our mission is to provide men and women with an upscale selection of African clothes and exists to not only attract and maintain customers, but to spread sophisticated fashion and instill confidence with folks in the West. I moved to San Diego in 2000 and started working as an independent designer for the African community in San Diego.

Its a good place to live and raise a family.

Q: Are there meanings or traditions behind different prints?

A: Yes, theres a lot of meaning and tradition behind African prints, lots of hidden meanings. For example, the kente come from west Africa, specifically Ghana. The kente is a vibrant fabric and the pattern and design represent common African motifs, like religious beliefs. The colors on all African prints have a meaning. For example, red symbolizes death, green means fertility, white expresses purity, and blue signifies love.

Q: Whats your opinion of the fashion scene here in San Diego? How would you describe it?

A: San Diego fashion is very laid back, but the casual sweatpants and sandals every day and for every occasion is not cutting it. We need to spice it up little bit.

Q: What do you get the most requests for?

A: Dashiki prints and actual dashikis are the most popular.

Q: How would you describe your personal style?

A: Simple but still elegant.

Q: Who are some African fashion designers youre a fan of?

A: Kofi Ansah, whos from Ghana but based in London. I think Kofi is really one of the first African designers who brought modern African style and design to another level. He gave the fashion industry a new type of style with graphics and new shapes. Theyre not just clothes that you wear; theyre more than that. Theyre visual, theyre art and each pattern has a story. When you think about modern African style, you think about Kofi first. Hes a pioneer.

Deola Sagoe is an African designer whose work I find to be so creative, and who put Africa before fashion success. I admire Deola because shes an African woman who made it in an industry first ruled by men, and because shes African. Lets be real, female fashion designers are still in the minority. Can you believe that out of the 50 major fashion brands only 14 percent are run by women? Daola is an entrepreneur. When it comes to her work, I respect the fact that she could transform traditional Nigerian designs into contemporary designs. Today, shes well-known for her unique style and most of her creations are made with Komole Kandids motifs. Theyre gorgeous and elegant. I want to have my own signature and be well-known in the industry just like her.

Q: What inspires you when youre creating your clothes?

A: African culture. African wax is a unique textile. The simplest dress can be made with African wax and it will look 100 times better than a regular, plain dress. The pattern is what makes the difference. To create an outfit with this type of fabric is an art because of the bright colors and patterns. You need to find the right balance. Its always difficult for me to work with other types of fabric. I love using African wax because it shows who I am, its my identity. Each pattern has a story and each represents a part of Africa.

Q: Whats been challenging about your work with your fashion business and with your new non-profit academy?

A: It hasnt really been challenging at this point. I love what I do and I love empowering women to become fashion designers.

Q: Whats been rewarding about it?

A: Helping and empowering women.

Q: What has it taught you about yourself?

A: Leadership, teamwork and humility.

Q: What is the best advice youve ever received?

A: Love yourself first and make sure you learn something that you really love.

Q: What is one thing people would be surprised to find out about you?

A: I would love to work with Versace or Calvin Klein one day.

Q: Please describe your ideal San Diego weekend.

A: Opening the boutique on Saturday and then spending Sunday at church and then at home with my family.

Email: lisa.deaderick@sduniontribune.com

Twitter: @lisadeaderick

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Sowing education and empowerment with needle and thread - The San Diego Union-Tribune

Susan Lake (left) and Laura Meeks, life coaches, each with distinctive and compelling personal stories, speak at the Idyllwild Library on Saturday, Aug. 5. Photo by Marshall Smith

Susan Lake and Laura Meeks, both life coaches who focus on living ones dream and personal empowerment, tell their stories at the Idyllwild Library.

Lake is small and energetic, using her career as a writer/designer artist as a platform to coach her audiences about how to use their creative energies to find personal fulfillment.

Meeks, a Minnesota native, is tall, laid back and folksy, telling her story of change with gentle humor, humility and total absence of ego.

Lake began her career as a music educator, with a degree in Music Education from the University of Bridgeport. She fashioned a successful career as a performer, teacher, educator, director, producer and designer.

Meeks dreamed as a kid in rural Minnesota of flying planes, because, as she remembered, If you can fly planes, you can get out of Minnesota. That dream would lead Meeks to becoming one of only 25 people in the U.S. certified to occupy all four seats on a B-52 bomber pilot, copilot, navigator and bombardier.

But that was when Laura was Laurence and that is the story shell be telling of how she realized a truth about herself, and, with the help of her wife Annie, was able to authentically embrace that truth.

When I met Annie, we were both in the Air Force, said Meeks. But early on in our marriage, I started to recognize this fantasy of being a woman. Annie and I talked. I remember this specific discussion. Annie asked, Do you want to live as a woman? I answered I didnt know. Then, Annie said, Heres the deal. I will continue step by step forward and giving it my best. Then I said, Ill slow this down so that we have time to adjust. Weve been married for 31 years.

Both Lake and Meeks counsel on finding the courage and support structures to dream and become ones most creative and authentic self. Lake and Meeks have their own takes on how to do that. Both are published authors and have built successful careers as life coaches.

Meeks, after retiring as a major in the Air Force, formed a multi-million-dollar consulting firm ThinkQ Inc. with wife Annie. Meeks now uses that corporate expertise and management experience as part of her life-coaching presentations.

Lakes transformational and self-empowerment discussions are driven by her artists point of view. She teaches creativity as a keystone to living a life that matters to the individual, and contributes to the wider community and the world. We are all artists and its accessing our creativity that helps us manifest who we are from the inside out, said Lake.

Meeks talks of how freeing it was to have the support of Annie as she made her transition from Laurence to Laura. Do you know how hard it is for most men to keep a secret like that? she asked. Its like holding a brick at arms length for 24 hours a day. Annies an incredibly powerful woman and together we were able to choose a path that was worth living. We grew up together in our marriage.

Two women talk empowerment techniques and tell their life stories Living Bold and Laurence to Laura at the library from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday, Aug. 5. There is no charge to attend these talks and all are invited.

Marshall Smith has been writing for the Town Crier since 2005. His favorite quote is: '"Some men see things as they are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not." Robert Kennedy quoting George Bernard Shaw

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Susan Lake and Laura Meeks, life coaches, to speak - Idyllwild Town Cier

Shamanic Teacher and Guide Anahata Ananda of Shamangelic Healing Center in Sedona, Arizona announces the return of her dynamic Shamangelic Breathwork Facilitator Training Course this fall, October 25-26. This popular 2-day intensive incorporates guided visualization, holotropic breathwork and other techniques to facilitate a profoundly personal Sacred Journey of the soul.

Sedona, Arizona (PRWEB) July 30, 2017

Shamangelic Breathwork Teacher and Shamanic Healer Anahata Ananda of Shamangelic Healing, Sedona Arizona's Premier Center for Shamanic Healing and Spiritual Awakening, is proud to offer her powerful Shamangelic Breathwork Facilitator Training, Level III, a unique hands-on professional level training intensive like no other. The weekend training will again be held at Shamangelic Healing Center, among the healing energies of Sedona's beautiful red rocks and vortex energy centers, October 2526, 2017.

This two-day training course is a powerful complement to the two previous levels, Empowerment & Awakening and Healing Tools & Modalities, and part of a 12-day training intensive offered at the Center that lay the foundations for energy healing, setting boundaries, using healing tools, hands on healing techniques and more that prepare participants to be Breathwork facilitators.

Shamanic breathing is the practice of using breath, sound and touch to affect emotional clearing and attract angelic support to clear density and awaken one's true essence. Because of the intense and powerful nature of Shamangelic Breathwork, and the comprehensive training and experience facilitators require, the Empowerment & Awakening and Healing Tools & Modalities courses are prerequisites to this course.

Shamangelic Breathwork Facilitator Training draws on all the previous coursework in this powerful and transformational intensive. It will explore one of the most complex practices for core healing and spiritual awakening, providing various techniques to illicit deeper emotional releases, shifts and expansion than the earlier training.

The Level III course also teaches how to support someone through their process of releasing past traumas, shows facilitators how to set sacred space and conduct it as a ceremonial offering, reveals effective methods for bringing participants back into their bodies after a shamanic journey, and gives a practicum on co-facilitating a live Shamangelic Breathwork ceremony.

Deep Shamanic breathing has been found to facilitate profound emotional release, open new channels of awareness and clear toxicity in the body. This sacred journey incorporates guided visualization, Shamangelic Breathwork, vibrational sound, soulful music, energy healing, Shamanic tools, crystal therapy and lightbody expansion techniques to facilitate a personal Sacred Shamanic Journey into the depths of one's soul. Participants will come away from this comprehensive course empowered and confident to lead themselves and others on soulful, in-depth shamanic breathing journeys.

Shamangelic Healing offers 12-day training intensives at the Center that lay the foundations for energy healing, setting personal boundaries, using healing tools, hands on healing techniques, and more that prepare participants to be Breathwork facilitators.

Shamanic Healer and Spiritual Counselor, Anahata Ananda has trained extensively with gifted shamans, energy healers and spiritual teachers from around the world in order to artfully integrate the fields of spirituality, energy healing, self-empowerment, and shamanic teachings. Her client-base spans the globe with individuals from all walks of life who are seeking to heal and awaken to their fullest potential.

Anahata also offers Shamangelic Tailored Retreats in Sedona that offer a wide range of private sessions to meet the needs of students and clients for their core healing, spiritual awakening or individualized training. Sessions may include Shamanic healing, sacred vortex journeys, Shamangelic Breathwork, Chakra Balancing, Meditation Practices, Tools for Healthy Conscious Relationships, specific training and much more.

The Shamangelic Healing Center is based in Sedona, Arizona. It is nestled beneath Thunder Mountain, with 360 degrees of breathtaking views, and within walking distance to a medicine wheel and healing vortexes, making it the perfect setting for healing and expansion.

Inside, the retreat center's calm and relaxed environment helps to engage all of the senses, making it easy to settle into a session. Clients seeking Spiritual awakening, transformational healing services, counseling, sacred land journeys or training courses may choose from a wide range of options that can be tailored for the ultimate personal experience. Private Healing Sessions with Anahata are also available at the Center where Anahata provides personal sessions in a safe and loving space for deep healing and spiritual awakening.

Whether visitors are seeking a Weekend Intensive on Empowerment & Awakening, a soulful Tailored Sedona Retreat of Transformational Healing and Spiritual Awakening, Shamanic Wisdom Teachings or a Sacred Land Journey Shamangelic Healing provides profoundly empowering experiences, all among the Red Rocks.

The Shamangelic Breathwork Facilitator Training is an intimate experience with limited space and traditionally fills up fast. Participants are encouraged to reserve their spot early. For detailed descriptions and a calendar of all training courses, retreats and spiritual awakening services offered by Anahata of Shamangelic Healing Center visit http://shamangelichealing.com/.

For the original version on PRWeb visit: http://www.prweb.com/releases/shamangelichealing/ShamanicBreathingTraining/prweb14551368.htm

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Shamanic Healer and Teacher Anahata Ananda Presents Powerful 2-Day Shamangelic Breathwork Facilitation ... - Benzinga

Kathleen Mitchell, who has died aged 100, was a pioneering figure in the early years of comprehensive education in England. A radical thinker, as head of Pimlico school, central London, in the 1970s she created in effect the first state specialist music school. She had been equally innovative in developing pastoral care and social education at Starcross school in north London.

Kathleen came from a generation of strong, articulate women who dominated state education in London in the 60s and 70s. She believed in the power of education to change lives and saw access to the arts as crucial to achieving her goal.

When she became head at Pimlico in 1974 she inherited a big school with discipline problems. In response, she developed a rich curriculum to engage students from all backgrounds. The school had its own symphony orchestra, and a chamber orchestra, and had close links to the London Schools Symphony Orchestra. Every year 15 students were picked by the Inner London Education Authority (Ilea) to become part of the schools special course for musicians, and many went on to become professionals.

Kathleens personal life revolved around music: her second husband, Donald Mitchell, was a well-known writer on music, particularly on Gustav Mahler, and went on to set up the publishing house Faber Music with Benjamin Britten. The Mitchells became good friends with Britten and his partner, Peter Pears, and the Pimlico schools choir and orchestra appeared in Brittens Noyes Fludde at the Aldeburgh festival. The work is based on the account of Noahs flood given in the Chester Mystery Plays, and towards the end of his life the composer had been planning a new stage work, A Christmas Sequence, for the school, adapted from the same source.

The adult world that Kathleen inhabited was a huge contrast to her beginnings she was living proof of her belief in personal empowerment. Born in London, she grew up in West Norwood. She was always close to her mother, Trudy (nee Johnson), who ran a coffee shop. Her father, Charles Burbidge, a post office worker, was fond of the local pub and a less than constant presence in her life. Her brother Reg, an RAF pilot, was killed in the second world war.

Kathleen loved her local grammar school, but university was out of the question until she earned some money. She worked at the London County council as a secretary, then enrolled in evening classes at Birkbeck College, where she studied history and met her future husband, David Livingston.

He had always wanted to start his own school and Mitchell was enthused. In 1939 they set up Oakfield school, in Dulwich, south-east London. It flourished and became a draw for talented teachers.

The couple married in 1940, with Kathleen already pregnant with her son, Mark. She did not care much for convention and what would have been considered scandalous in peacetime was noticed less during the war.

Among the teachers who came to Oakfield school was Donald, who was younger, and a conscientious objector during the war. They began a passionate affair and around 1950 she left her first marriage.

Kathleen and Donald set up home together and she began teaching at Hammersmith comprehensive; they married in 1956. She was talent-spotted by a school inspector and became deputy head at Dick Sheppard comprehensive in Tulse Hill. While there, she and her husband adopted two boys, Bernie and Keith.

In 1964 Kathleen became head of Starcross girls school in Camden. The following year it merged with another school, Risinghill, to create a 1,200 girls comprehensive under the Starcross name, which later became the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson school in Islington.

When Gladys West joined the school as a teacher in 1967, she found Kathleen to be an inspirational head. After she addressed us at the beginning of the year we walked out feeling that we could conquer the world. We felt empowered and enabled.

The school was a laboratory for Kathleens ideas. Many of the girls came from extremely deprived backgrounds and she was empathetic and supportive. Arts was embedded in the curriculum, including dance. Sir Peter Newsam, who became chief education officer for the Ilea in 1975, remembered his first visit to the school. I went to her school and there were two very overweight girls dancing to I Am a Rock, and they were bloody good. I still remember the look on the faces of those two girls when the audience of children and parents applauded them. It was a school that valued people.

This was Kathleens trademark: everyone mattered. To that end she developed strong pastoral support for the girls, and for the most disaffected she devised an alternative curriculum covering sex education, citizenship and community service. It was so successful that the number of girls leaving school at 15 dwindled, and Mitchell extended it to the whole school, a precursor of what became known as personal, social and health education PSHE.

Kathleen would explore many ways to motivate difficult students rather than exclude them. Some girls could attend college for part of the week and she established an off-site unit staffed by experts in behaviour management. At the same time she introduced programmes for high-achieving girls and established a link with Sussex University. If they came from homes where no one had been to university, she ensured they had extra support.

But all this did not mean discipline was lax. Mitchell believed structures were important for children. My job as head is to set up an organisation that works. I dont think it would be any good having marvellous ideas if one couldnt be efficient in a school. But its no good organising so that the humanity is out of it ... the human side is important and takes priority on every occasion.

Kathleen became a magnet for ambitious teachers, many of whom went on to become heads themselves. She set up a pioneering workplace nursery to encourage teachers who had had children to return to work. She attracted staff who had made their names in other fields, among them the feminist historian Sheila Rowbotham and the cartoonist Glen Baxter.

At Pimlico, she still had fresh ideas in abundance: she ensured form tutors stayed with their class for a full five years; she brought in architects to develop the Front Door project, getting children to draw their journey to school and think about how its environment could be improved; and she invited students from Imperial College to work with students in science lessons.

During her time at the school she developed painful arthritis. John Bancrofts grade II listed building was full of stairs and became difficult for her, and she retired as a head in 1979. She continued, though, to develop a sixth-form enrichment programme across London.

In the late 80s her activities were curtailed by her loss of sight following a bout of shingles. After 50 years of living in Bloomsbury, she and Donald moved to a nursing home in Camden earlier this year.

She is survived by Donald and their son Keith, her son, Mark, from her first marriage, and three granddaughters and five grandsons. Bernie died in 2014.

Kathleen Gertrude Mitchell, educationist, born 26 November 1916; died 22 May 2017

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Kathleen Mitchell obituary - The Guardian

Excerpts from Self-Belonging to be published around Valentines day 2018 (stay tuned to receive your advance copy) and Happily Ever AfterRight Now https://www.amazon.com/Happily-Ever-After-Right-Now/dp/061539969X

The late Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled, defines true love as this: The desire to contribute to anothers spiritual growth. Pecks definition says nothing about finding someone to complete you or make you happy (or vice versa). So whether or not the relationship is sustainable, if you decide to use it as a spiritual practice, you can choose to grow in the presence of another (while contributing to his/her growth) without a need or desire to change him/her so that you can be happy and comfortable. Instead, you work on being present and available for whatever is going on (because thats the only way the Divine can get through to you). You avoid getting too blissed out, dependent, or thrown off by this other, for you know your true joy comes from cultivating your relationship with the Divine. You avoid giving in to your strong preferences and mental constructs about how you think things ought to be, and settle into accepting what isnot in a passive way, rather as an active participantawake and alert. You step back from your temptation to react when you get triggered, and instead put some space between you and whatever has gotten you all riled up.

Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle says that until you access the consciousness frequency of Presence (God, the One Unified Field), all relationships are deeply flawed, and you can oscillate between the polarities of love and hatenever really getting to true love. The power of Presence dissolves the temptation to judge or project. When you invoke the Divine to support you in your moment of resistance, instead of pushing against the darkness (in yourself or the other), you bring light (love) to the situationregardless of what is happening. And so at the risk of sounding cheesyyou kind of have to become a warrior for light (love) in order to tackle the dark forces of your lower nature. Of course, taking that warrior path means youve gotta fortify yourself with perseverance, since those dark forces are deeply embedded in you and in all of us. And as can happen with any warrior who sets out on a challenging mission, you are likely to have some defeats. Those can make you stronger if you let them (which I know by heart). Over time, with love, trust, and determination, you will eventually attain victoryliving primarily in peace, harmony, and freedom. And from that place, you will look back on who it was that motivated you to go for that love-light with enormous gratituderegardless of however s/he might have shown up. S/he was a mirror, who may have helped to expose that dark nature of yours (we all have one), so you could flip the switch in your heart and illuminate the real truth of who you are.

Giving Up Control (pp. 98-99 Happily Ever AfterRight Now)

As we become more and more willing to be completely transparent with who we are in all our relationships, the more freedom we have for unlimited growthIn standing tall to face the stark terror that our conditioned fears of abandonment produce (the dark forces trying to get a grip), we create an opening to remember that the love that lives within is the only certain rescue from the darknessthe Essential security in our lives. I am safe. I am home. I am here, now. I am enough.

You are invited to be seated at an imaginary round table. There will be five others joining you.

All of these people have joined you at your table. Are they mirroring some aspect of who you are? Here are some questions you may want to ask them (or yourself). Who are you? What do you represent? If youve come into my life, what are you here to teach me?

Compassion Meditation: Sit for 2-3 minutes and shower yourself and your loved ones with compassion. Next, hold compassion in your heart (2-3 minutes) for people you are neutral around (such as person # 5) or who are invisible to you (like person #4). Finally, cultivate compassion for people who repel you or whom you vigorously resist for 2 or 3 minutes.

Or, see what kind of spiritual practice your heart wants to create in the presence of your relationships. You are the only one who knows.Billy Joel

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Using Our Relationships as a Template for Spiritual Practice - HuffPost

GREEN BAY A cheesehead teetering atop his head, Martellus Bennett spoke of his desire to assimilate into the Green Bay Packers locker room.

The veteran tight end, now with his fifth NFL team, said he keeps the foam cheddar wedge in his locker just to remind his new teammates that hes part of the culture.

So far, the loquacious Bennett and his effervescent personality have fit in just fine in an environment devoid of larger-than-life characters in recent years.

For nearly 30 minutes after Thursdays first practice of training camp, Bennett held forth with reporters, handing out copies of his comic book (Towelboy), dropping names of his favorite authors (from Dr. Seuss to Eckhart Tolle), explaining his decision to crash in the locker room after he arrived in town at 3 a.m. Wednesday (I couldnt get too comfortable) and discussing everything from CTE to the team book club hes starting (first book: Motivation Manifesto by Brendon Burchard) to his desire to be the black Walt Disney after his football career is over.

In a locker room where most players take cues from coach Mike McCarthys self-described boring by design approach, Bennett is decidedly different. Which, so far, the Packers like.

We all like personality. This is a tough business, McCarthy said. You spend a lot of time (together), so creativity and laughter are definitely good things to have in your culture. Hes a big personality and I think hes fitting in very well with our football team.

Quarterback Aaron Rodgers is among Bennetts fans, but he cautioned that observers shouldnt assume Bennetts jocularity and creativity mean hes not focused on football.

The thing about Marty that were learning and I think you guys will all learn is, hes always prepared, Rodgers said. Hes ready to go, if hes gone three hours of sleep, up all night drawing pictures, watching Nickelodeon, or if hes gotten seven, eight hours of sleep. Im not worried about Marty or his preparation at all.

For his part, Bennett said it makes no sense that some folks think being fun-loving and focused are mutually exclusive.

Green Bay Packers' Johnathan Calvin rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Clay Matthews talks to head coach Mike McCarthy during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Jordy Nelson walks to the next drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Max McCaffrey tries catching a pass behind his back during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Jordy Nelson catches a pass during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgersfilps a football during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers players runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Kevin King runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Aaron Taylor runs a drill during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Clay Matthews stretches during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Damarious Randall stretches during NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Ha Ha Clinton-Dix rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Davante Adams rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Kalif Phillips carries a bike after trying to ride it to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers players ride bikes to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Mason Crosby rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

Green Bay Packers' Johnathan Calvin rides a bike to NFL football training camp Thursday, July 27, 2017, in Green Bay, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

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Packers: Tight end Martellus Bennett holds court in first practice - Beaver Dam Daily Citizen

I was at a very crowded Powells Books in Portland last weekend and watched one 22-ish woman hold up a copy of an Eckhart Tolle paperback and solemnly say to her 22ish friend, Read this. It will change your life.

Ive never read anything by Eckhart Tolle, but I know the authors name from having seen it in airport bookstores for the last several years. Vaguely self-help, I think? Maybe business related? Or spiritual? Whatever the classification, I just have a sense his (her?) books wont be to my taste, primarily because theyre satisfying to so many people. This bias doesnt obtain with music, films, or TV, but somehow, books for everyonethe kind of books read by people who only read those kind of booksarent for me.

Id always assumed thats what The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time was, too: An airport book. Something like self-help or get ahead in business or Buddhism for Capitalists or Who Moved My Cheese or whatever. Turns out its actually a novel, and that novel is a family drama disguised as a mystery story, and its also a play, and that play was a huge hit on Broadway that won Tony awards a couple years back and the touring version is at the Paramount through this weekend.

It also turns out that the production stirs up lots of interesting questions and dilemmas relating to one of the central preoccupations people have about performed art these daysrepresentation. (To that end, its also dotted with potentially problematic elements to do with same.) Its also a showcase for staggeringly effective and versatile stage design.

Its also an efficient and oddly affecting variation on the sentimental treatment of redemptive family love that prevails in most narrative storytelling. Its also funny. Its also humane. Its also very good, in the same sense that Elvis Costello once shamed a journalist who had just impugned ECs then-new writing partner by asking, compared to whom is Paul McCartney not good?

It has a good premise, a good story, good acting, good staging, good craft, good sound design, good light design, and lots of other good things. Its very good, very pro, and very, you know, worth the $40-$85 it will cost you to get your hands on a ticket to any of the five remaining performances.

Still, I did find myself wondering as the play went onhow the hell did this play win Tonys? What is it about this relatively simple story that strikes a chord among so many people (five million copies of the book have sold to date, the Broadway production ran for four years). And when it was over, and the obligatory Seattle standing ovation creaked to its feet, I found I still didnt quite know.

Was it the inversion of the classic expectations of a protagonist? The story is motorized by a young man named Christopher (played the night I saw it by Adam Langdon) who is either autistic or has Aspergers (the book is apparently intentionally vague on this point, and the play doesnt specify either)but who, in any case, echoes the familiar Rain Man-nish traits of not being able to read social cues, make prolonged eye contact, or to bear any kind of human physical contact beyond a gradual palm-to-palm touch with his parents. (Hes more comfortable cuddling dogs and rats.)

Christopher also speaks in a clipped, nasal, robot voice with musical inflections played for comic effect. Hes also exceptionally good at math(sthe play takes place in England) and is reduced to screaming fits by the interruption of his routine. In short, he presents a broad, intentionally comic figure, in contrast to the normal world of people who surround him.

When he discovers the murdered body of the titular dog in his neighbors garden, he embarks on an investigation that leads him into traumatic adventures that reveal uncomfortable truths about his immediate world. These discoveries change everything about his situation, but they dont change him. They cant.

Hence, what we expect from a drama of this kind (and maybe, in a larger sense, what we want from all stories) is necessarily subverted, and not unproductively.

Christophers unconventional mien makes the background charactershis mother, father, teacher, neighbors, and various ancillary figures, all ingeniously portrayed by an ensemblethe real story, as they respond in a variety of ways to someone whose capacity for relation is categorically alien to theirs.

But Christopher is always at the physical center of everything. His impulses and responses propel the plot and define the people, but more to the point, the whole play is staged as a kind of recreation from his memory, and with his frequent comical intervention.

The set, three massive walls with thrilling light and video capabilities, with compartments that open into cubby holes, and a series of modular boxes that are used as various props, is apparently meant to evoke both his mania for order, and the natural chaos that follows from an effort to rationalize an inherently disordered world. It's an IKEA of the mind that also serves, alternately, as graph paper, JumboTron, and cage. Honestly, it's worth seeing the show just to see the set.

The choreography and interaction with this set is always inventive and often sublime, creating an almost Escherian dimension of space and motion that constantly enlivens the narrative.

Maybe that was the source of my quandary: Not that what I was seeing wasnt a pleasure to see. It was. But I did have a recurring sense that the constant need to enliven the narrative meant that the narrative was itself not massively interesting. Which, to be totally candid, I kind of admire.

Stories arent everything. And a play that seeks to convey the inner life of a boy who is essentially a cipher represents an audacious effort to liberate the theatrical experiencespecifically the big, mainstream Broadway version of itfrom the mere telling of a story. (That might also account from why so many people ditched the show at intermission.) Im on board for that kind of liberation as a rule.

On the other hand, though, you could be forgiven for thinking that all the stuff of the show was a fancy way of unspooling a somewhat ordinary suburban family melodrama. And they even have the cheapest theatrical trick of all time: a live puppy.

And then theres the matter of Christopher himself, whosewhat is the right word? Condition? Attunement? Situation?is played broadly for laughs that sometimes feelagain, what is the right word? Uncomfortable? Irresponsible? Problematic? Gimmicky?

I should emphasize that I cant tell whether the contemporary mania for identifying the offensive in public discourse has clouded my judgment on this point, but I definitely had that thing of unconsciously looking over my shoulder to make sure I hadnt committed some moral breach by laughing at the odd laugh line that issued from the disjunction between Christopher and polite society.

But more meaningfully: Certain crucial moments of attempted connection suffer for the broadness of the character's construction; I found myself recalling George, a wrenching documentary about the challenges of parenting an autistic childthe reference is obscure, but it felt significant that I saw the film once in 2001 and remembered it vividly during this show.

Then again, Adam Langdons performance was unquestionably skillful, consistent, and, if you can say this about the portrayal of a character whose relationship to feeling itself is inherently muted and inarticulate, empathetic. The real subject of this play is Christophers vulnerability, which is an inherent generator of dramaeven if the story and characters that rub up against that vulnerability arent terribly fascinating to begin with.

Maybe thats why its so popular. It puts the audience in the same position not as the main character, but as the ensemble: We yearn to connect with someone who cant receive that connection on our familiar terms, and we find that we are pulling for him, even loving him, anyway.

This stands in stark contrast to the other touring Broadway show about unconventional families available to Seattle audiences this month. When the lights went down on Fun Home, I rocketed to my feet, smear the tears and snot away from my raw-skinned, red face in the process, certain that Id seen something entirely new (no, not just a musical with good songs) on a stage, and avid, almost desperate, to go see it again. Which I did, a few nights later.

I wouldnt run to see The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time a second time. But Im glad I saw it once, if only because it helped me remember that even airport novels can contain something beautiful.

Who would read them if they didnt?

Continued here:
Review: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time Is an Unexpected Source of Beauty and Invention - TheStranger.com

May we all practice self-compassion. (Photo: Vinoth Chandar)

Recently, during a journaling exercise, I listed characteristics that I find interesting and admirable in other people.

Next, stream-of-consciousness-style, I wrote qualities about myself. And when I reread my scribbles, I was surprised; the majority of the words on the page weren't positive.

They weren't terrible, and some were sort of neutral. It's not like I wrote "selfish, ignorant, horrible hobag" about myself. But my inner critic was all over the page.

It was jarring because I'd like to think that I'm fairly realistic about who I am and also that I have relatively healthy self-esteem.

I told my therapist about this, and she guided me through a practice. She asked me to think of a person or animal that I loved and valued unconditionally. My marvelous sister, Meghan, immediately came to mind.

Since the moment my sister was born, I've loved her in the sweetest, most special, practically indescribable way.

My therapist told me to think about that feeling and describe how it felt.

I struggled; I rambled words I don't remember, so she stopped me andasked me to feel it instead of trying to describe it.

I sat quietly and thought about Meghan. My chest filled with joy, comfort, ease, affection, gratitude, kindness. I was overcome with the most precious, pure love I can imagine.

Next, my therapist asked me to turn those feelings on myself.

Wow. That was something I'd never done. I had never thought about it like that.

This experience got me thinking about self-compassion, which is practiced through mindfulness.

So I sought out esteemed practitioners and teachers Janka Livoncova and Upasaka Paul to help me understand self-compassion.

"Compassion is a response to suffering,"Livoncova said.

Initially, I was confused, because I connected suffering to somethingheartbreakinga death, for example.

But I thought about it more and remembered that suffering is part of the natural human condition.

Eckhart Tolle discusses this in "A New Earth." He describes "our inherited dysfunction."

Much of this suffering comes from the stories we tell ourselves and reactions to situations.

Livoncova explained this to me using the analogy of getting hit by two darts.

A person is struck by a first dart.

"When you are struck by a dart, that's painful," she said. "That pain is inevitable. It hurts our body."

Then, the person is hit by the second dart.

With the second dart comes emotional pain.

Instead of taking the darts out and caring for the wounds, the mind starts spinning.

Who did this to me? Why is this happening? This is so unfair! I'm going to get whoever hit me with these darts!

My thoughts about what I wrote in my journal caused suffering, like the second dart.

Why did I just write these words about myself? What does this mean? I must hate myself deep down. This is an upsetting thing. This is something I need to fix.

That's a relatively simple example, but as I've written before, the thoughts in our heads are not our true selves, and the ego thrives on the negative stories we tell ourselves.

"There are so many ways we create our own suffering," Paul said. "It's not necessarily that we are doing that purposely ... We live with this notion that the way out of suffering is to keep in all the good stuff and keep out the bad stuff."

Livoncova and my therapist echoed these ideas. We don't like to be uncomfortable. We definitely don't want to suffer.

My mindfulness practice has helped me identify negative self-talk. But I generally catch myself in midthought. And, more often than not, I judge myself for having the thoughts.

Livoncova said that judgment is an attempt to avoid suffering, but it only adds to it.

I've been working on mindfulness and meditation for years now, and I still struggle with a central part of the practice: acceptance.

"The experience of compassionit's acceptance of everything as it is," Paul said.

It's accepting that you've been hit by two darts. It's treating and enduring the reality of the situation in each moment.

"It feels unbearable, but I can be with everything for one breath,"Livoncova said. "It's when we say ... 'I cannot bearthis' [that suffering comes]."

The good news, which bothLivoncova and Paul noted, is that, through practice, we can become more compassionate toward ourselves and others.

I think the reason I've struggled with this so far is because I was thinking too much. I was struggling to find the answer with my brain.

"Mindfulness cannot be ... learned by reading a book or talking about it,"Livoncova said. "Through experience, it can be realized."

Paul also expressed that practicing compassion is more about the feeling. We may use words to try to describe the experience, but we should practice turning our attention to the feelings, just as my therapist had me do.

One of the meditation practices that can cultivate compassion is loving-kindness, which I wrote about here.

The words said and thought during this type of practice may vary. And although it's nice to think that if we just repeat the words, self-compassion will somehow appear, that's not how it works.

"It's not about saying the words, it's about the experience," Paul said.

The reminder to focus on the feelinglike the wonderful sensation I have when I think about my sisteris paramount.

I can easily summon that fondness and warmth when I think about her.

So, if you need me, I'll be practicing sitting with that feeling and directing it toward myself.

What would happen if we all learned to do that?

The opinions expressed in this column belong solely to the author, notNooga.comor its employees.

Original post:
Learning self-compassion - Nooga.com

I am watching my daughter transform before my eyes. Slowly slipping away is the younger 11 year old who might still be found enjoying an episode of Sophia the First, and appearing in her place is an almost teenager who is content to be alone in her room for hours at a time. Shell be 12 in a matter of weeks and she is responsible and delightful and thoughtful and stubborn and determined and moody. Its a custom blend that presents itself differently every day.

And it is so hard to know just who is going through a bigger change, me or her?

It started a year and a half ago when I reluctantly passed the baton of favored parent to my husband. In the early days of this blatant change of allegiance, I failed miserably at trying not to let my disappointment show whenever the question was posed: Want to ride with me or Daddy? Or: Want to sit next to me or Daddy? (her answer, unceasingly, Daddy). I had long forgotten that I, too, had gone through this very transition, seeking my fathers guidance and input during these critical years of 11 - 14, until a wise sage of a friend pointed out to me that yes, this is actually a very important part of a young girls development.

Im still needed, but my offers to help are being denied in increasing increments. The concentric circle of a boundary that surrounds her has gotten bigger and I am having to step back and respect that more than I am accustomed to. Shes gotten good at no thank you. I gave her that: No means no. And: Never do anything you dont want to do. She models this beautifully. I just didnt anticipate that I would be the thing she doesnt want to do or be seen with. And I must be a slow learner because Im just now able to get out of the car and not automatically reach for her hand.

Her independence and growing autonomy in general has arrived at a perfect time, actually. I have become so thoroughly (and happily) consumed by the world of kindred, thrilled with how it continues to stretch into new territories and grow in numbers. So in this sense it is good that my day no longer revolves around keeping her entertained and busy.

Even still I didnt truly awaken to the depth of my internal conflict until, on a recent vacation, I started reading the brilliant work of Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. Awakening to Your Lifes Purpose. I stared at the ocean from the balcony every morning, reading and contemplating just how intricately woven my identity was with mom. My ego latched onto that title eleven years ago and it is still dragging around skills from that era that are not only no longer needed, but earn me such classic responses as the dramatic eye roll and the exasperated (but perfected) two syllable Moh-ohm". Im no longer the protector of playground dangers, the fruit and vegetable nutrition expert or the one to remind her to bring a sweater because itll be cold in the restaurant. And yet it is so entrenched in me that I am having to work really hard at turning it off.

In the quiet calm of those peaceful mornings, the sound of the ocean relentlessly rumbling to the shore, Eckhart taught me about ego and presence. My daughter needs one thing and one thing only right now - my presence. Undiluted, concentrated attention. I need to look at her, take notice of the small things, observe every nuance of change. She is working on new skills, navigating unknown terrain and like every middle school child, finding her identity. These are opportunities for new seeds to be planted - ones that will take her into adulthood.

I made myself a solemn vow in the presence of the vastness of the sea. To let go of my ego, to let go of control, to support and honor and cherish. To let her make her own mistakes, standing by at the ready to console and wipe tears and hold tight. The training wheels are off now. It is her own path and destiny to follow. I will give my daughter my presence. I will seek out and treasure these moments. Shine on, my girl, I whispered, shine on. I will always be here for you.

K. Cooper

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The Gift of Presence. - HuffPost

PLATTSBURGH The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship will host several events over the course of August. All are open to the public, free and at 4 Palmer St., unless otherwise noted.

Thursday, Aug. 3, 12:15 p.m. Quiche et Crepe, 164 Boynton Ave., Plattsburgh. First Thursday UU Ladies Luncheon. Bring money for lunch and join the conversation. Contact Mary Jane Miranda at 518-5615124.

Sunday, Aug. 6, 11 a.m. Meacham Lake Campground, Paul Smiths. Building Bridges. A joint church service between the Plattsburgh, Canton and Saranac Lake Unitarian Universalist congregations. For those unable to make the journey, an alternate service will be held at 10 a.m. at 4 Palmer St.

Wednesday, Aug. 9, 1:30 p.m. UU Book Club. Guests are invited to share a book theyve recently read.

Sunday, Aug. 13, 10 a.m. The Blessings of the Sangha. Luis Sierra will lead the congregation in an exploration of the Sangha, a community of people who, in the Buddhist tradition, agree to practice living a conscious life rooted in kindness, understanding and acceptance. A Sangha creates safe space to explore what it means to live an awakened life, finding support and encouragement from others who are similarly committed.

Wednesday, Aug. 16, 7:30 p.m. A Course in Miracles. For more information, contact Diana Wardell, 518-645-1930.

Sunday, Aug. 20, 10 a.m. Born Again UU! Mark Berninghausen, from the Canton Unitarian Universalist Church, will share how his attending the Unitarian Universalist Associations General Assembly last year increased his connection and inspiration to the UU world.

Sunday, Aug. 27, 10 a.m. The Rev. Christina Sillari. Sillari, from First Parish, a UU congregation in Portland, Maine, will deliver the sermon.

Monday, Aug. 28, noon. Forget-Me-Nots Brown Bag Lunch. Guests are invited to bring lunch and join in the conversation.

Tuesdays, 7 p.m., Search for Meaning Discussion Group. An evening of personal growth and a chance to join others in the search for truth and meaning. This fall, the group read and explore A New Earth: Awakening to your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now.

Read this article:
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship lists August events - Plattsburgh Press Republican