The ornamental art of Bonsai are on display in the Hoop House at Hershey Gardens in the annual Bonsai: Living Art of the Susquehanna Bonsai Club exhibit of miniature trees and shrubs.

The Susquehanna Bonsai Club provides the seasonal exhibit to Hershey Gardens. Visitors are encouraged to vote for their favorite bonsai.

Bonsai refers to an ornamental tree or shrub grown in a pot and artificially prevented from reaching its normal size. This art form comes from an ancient Chinese horticultural practice, part of which was redeveloped under the influence of Japanese Zen Buddhism.

The ultimate goal of growing a bonsai is to create a miniaturized but realistic representation of nature in the form of a tree. Any tree species can be used to grow one.

The display opens Friday, Oct. 11, 2019, and runs through Saturday, Nov. 3, 2019. The exhibit is open 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, including Saturdays and Sundays, and is included in admission to Hershey Gardens.

General admission is $13.50 for visitors ages 13-61, $12.00 for seniors (ages 62 and up), and $9.50 for juniors (ages 3-12); children under age three are free. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily.

For more information, please visit HersheyGardens.org.

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Link:
The miniature world of bonsai on display at Hershey Gardens - PennLive

The Beat Generation included some of the most influential,controversial, and celebrated writers of the twentieth century. Jack Kerouac,Allen Ginsberg, and William S. Burroughs were among many whose experimentalwriting inspired the 1950s and 60s counterculture. In Whatcom County, literaryhistory and local history converge on Jack Kerouac and Gary Snyders time asNorth Cascades firewatchers.

Born in 1922, Jack Kerouac most famously wrote On the Road , an autobiographical novelabout his and Neal Cassadys countrywide adventures. The Dharma Bums and DesolationAngels recount Kerouacs firewatcher job from summer 1956just one yearbefore On the Roads publication.Kerouac passed away in 1969 due to alcoholism, but his influence lives on.Notably, he coined the term Beat Generation and wrote spontaneous prosenonstopsentences that flow like breath, as in jazz and meditation.

Born in 1930, Gary Snyder won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetryin 1975 for Turtle Island. Snyderspent his early life mainly in King County and Oregon which, along with ZenBuddhism, inspired his poetrys natural emphasis. He was really the first sortof poet-environmentalist, with the exception of, say, John Muir or Thoreau,says literary scholar and Western WashingtonUniversity professor Christopher Wise.

Although brief, these writers North Cascades adventureshave inspired similar excursions by many of their readers.

Gary Snyder was a firewatcher at Crater Mountainin 1952 and SourdoughMountain in 1953. He convinced fellow poet Philip Whalen to become afirewatcher, and kept a journal published in Earth House Hold (1969).

Snyder first visited Bellingham while growing up in KingCounty, and visited friends there during both firewatcher trips.

There is this legend about Gary Snyder and Jack Kerouaccoming into Bellingham and visiting Cocoanut Grove, Wise says. A 1953Earth House Hold passage says Jackshowed Snyder the bar. However, the date does not match Kerouacs trip and Conversations with Gary Snyder by DavidStephen Calonne (2017) mentions one Jack Francis as a friend of Snyders inBellingham.

Snyder made later Bellingham trips, including poetryreadings at Village Books and North Cascades Institute in 2004. Havingclimbed mountains since 1945, Snyder knew the scenery well.

When Kerouac was in Whatcom County, he had an encounterwith a culture, with an experience of nature that he had never had before,says Wise. For Snyder, I think being here was more an extension of what he wasalready familiar with in Oregon.

Kerouac and Snyder met in 1955, the year San FranciscosSix Gallery reading featured Snyders Berry Feast and Ginsbergs Howl.Snyder introduced Kerouac to Zen Buddhism and the firewatcher job while theylived at Snyders Mill Valley, California cabinthe experience behind KerouacsThe Dharma Bums.

Jack Kerouac spent 63 days at DesolationPeaks lookout station in the summer of 1956, resulting in Desolation Angels. He never spotted any fires,and had only brief radio contact with the U.S. Forest Service.

DesolationAngels (published in 1965) has three parts: Desolation inSolitude written in 1956, Desolation in the World written in 1956, andPassing Through written in 1961. The first, Kerouacs firewatching journal,describes his struggle with boredom, isolation, and a self-confrontation youdont really see in his other narratives, Wise says. The journal replacesKerouacs spontaneous prose with meditations on Hozomeen Mountain, comparing itto the Void.

For people who really admire Kerouac, it can be afrustrating novel because of the rambling nature, says Wise. But I think ithas a real heartfelt spirituality that still speaks to people today.

From Marblemount and State Route 20, Kerouac hitchhiked toSeattle through Concrete, Sedro-Woolley, and Mount Vernon. Desolation in theWorld returns to spontaneous prose as Kerouac enjoys Seattles burlesque andreunites with friends in San Francisco. TheDharma Bums (1958) describes Desolation Peak in spontaneous prose, moreoptimistic in hindsight.

Desolation Peak may have been Kerouacs last realadventure, as Passing Through recounts following trips more cynically.Visiting Tangier (a Beat cultural hub) in 1957, Kerouac felt nausea concerningexperience with the world at large and lamented On the Roads newfound fame. BigSur (1962) is Kerouacs only other novel set afterward, chronicling laterhealth struggles.

To Kerouac, Beat meant beaten down but also upbeatand beatific. This sentiment resonates with his life story and with readersfollowing the same road.

Hiking Desolation Peak takes a 10-mile overnight trip,Crater Mountain a 19-mile daytrip, and Sourdough Mountain a 10-mile daytrip.Lookout towers still stand at Desolation Peak and Sourdough Mountain.

Poetson the Peaks by John Suiter and a State Route 20 plaquenear Desolation Peak commemorate the Beats mountain adventures. Still, WhatcomCounty feels the Beats influence in other ways.

I see a lot in their writing that resonates with thisparticular county, says Wise. And some of their values, their ideals, theirexuberance, the things that they loved, the experimental nature of their workIthink theres an openness to that here.

In the North Cascades, Whatcom Countys literature enthusiasts can hike further off the beaten path.

Featured photo by Christopher Wise

Read the original:
The Beat Generation in Whatcom County: Jack Kerouac, Gary Snyder, and the North Cascades - whatcomtalk.com

Updated October 06, 2019 11:54:26

Riley Lee will never forget the first time he heard the shakuhachi a Japanese bamboo flute on a record his brother brought home to Hawaii in the late 1960s.

"It was as if some sentient being was talking directly to me," he says.

"Back then you couldn't loop things. So I took the needle off and I wore out that little track in the LP just having to lift it up and play it again."

The track was a collaboration between jazz clarinettist Tony Scott, Shinichi Yuize, who played the koto, or Japanese board zither, and shakuhachi player Hozan Yamamoto.

As a teenager, Dr Lee had no idea that the experience would set off a chain of events that would define his life.

Or how the gaps in the music the silence would come to be as important to him as the melodies he would play.

He has come to embrace Zen Buddhism, but says silence "transcends single religions": "To understand ourselves, to be more self-aware, requires that silence."

The shakuhachi was introduced to Japan from China in the 8th century, and Zen Buddhist monks have used it in meditation over the past 400 years.

Dr Lee became the instrument's first non-Japanese grand master in 1980, and completed a PhD in the Zen repertoire of the shakuhachi tradition at the University of Sydney in 1992.

He had originally wanted to learn Chinese at school to engage with his father's culture and language. But not enough people signed up, so he decided Japanese was the "next best thing".

On a subsequent trip to Japan, Dr Lee was browsing in a shakuhachi shop, planning on bringing one home with him.

He asked the shop owner how to tell the difference between a cheap and an expensive shakuhachi.

"He could have just sold me a more expensive flute because I had the money," Dr Lee says, "but he looked at me and he said: 'Do you really want to know?'"

The answer was yes. Dr Lee was introduced to a teacher and he spent the next seven years in Japan, learning how to play the shakuhachi.

For Dr Lee, silence is what separates notes and creates melody. But he says total silence is an "impossibility" like knowing infinity, or God.

"We hear our heartbeat; I hear my tinnitus," he says.

Silence has sacred qualities in Zen Buddhism, but it is also important in many other religions.

This weekend, a conference at the Australian Catholic University is exploring notions of sacred silence in literature and the arts.

Its convenor, Michael Griffith, says silence is a way for him to access godliness, and acts as a "gateway to our own inner understanding and our own self-knowledge".

He was raised a Catholic, and now affiliates himself with the Quaker community, as well as taking his Catholicism to a new level through his commitment to the Benedictine community.

He finds himself drawn to the role of oblate a lay person who continues life outside a monastery but remains highly spiritually connected.

Stillness and silence are integral parts of his spiritual practice, and he says these qualities help him open up "to what is around us with more intensity".

Many of his students come from a background where they've either "rejected traditional religions, or they are searching for something new".

They find an "inner reality" in literature, poetry and fiction that "gives them a taste of something beyond the material, digital world that enmeshes them all".

Dr Griffith uses reading to teach the sacred quality of silence without leaning on traditional religion.

He says across religions, silence acts as a reprieve from the unreal "all the digital data, the news and the fantasies which clog our mind and our capacity to be still".

Cultivating the mindset needed to play the shakuhachi has taught Dr Lee that the best way to understand silence is to become it.

"Silence is a responsibility, or an action," he says.

"No matter how silent the room or the situation or the countryside if we're not silent within ourselves, it's even noisier than when we are distracted by outside sound."

Dr Lee sees silence as a sacred element each of us can cultivate.

"We have a responsibility to ourselves, to experience it. If only a little bit before we die, then the big silence happens."

Topics:buddhism,sacred,books-literature,catholic,meditation-and-prayer,quakers,university-and-further-education,world,music,arts-and-entertainment,sydney-2000,japan

First posted October 06, 2019 07:00:00

Continued here:
Riley Lee fell in love with the shakuhachi but it's silence that really moves him - ABC News

navneet.vyasan@htlive.com

Born to French-Canadian parents, Jack Kerouac excelled in sports from a very young age. Initially, never interested in literature, Kerouacs athletic pursuits won him a sports scholarship at Columbia University in the early 1940s.

At the same time, Allen Ginsberg, also won a scholarship at Columbia University and then met Lucien Carr. Carr, a well-read academic, was popular for his views and writings, which were infamously anti-establishment.

This is the time when, the core members of the Beat Generation Kerouac, Ginsberg, Carr, Herbert Huncke and William S Burroughs would go on to start a movement that would inspire generations to come. Through their prose and poetry, they would advocate spiritual awakening, purification, and illumination through heightened sensory awareness. This, they argued, might be induced by drugs, jazz, sex, or, in the later years, Zen Buddhism. But it was Kerouacs book titled On the Road, and his friendship with Ginsberg, that made headlines every now and then.

In the 1960s, as their writing gained momentum, adoration was closely followed by denunciation. However, their works, in time, influenced these popular trends, then engulfing the world.

The hippie movement

I was surprised, as always, by how easy the act of leaving was, and how good it felt. The world was suddenly rich with possibility, wrote Kerouac in his seminal work, On The Road. Published in 1957, this part travelogue part novel, took Kerouac only three weeks to write. Written in a single, effortless flow, the book was inspired by Kerouacs travel across the rapidly changing post-war United States.

Cited by legendary artistes including, Bob Dylan, Jim Morrison and David Bowie as an influential read, Kerouacs work inspired a generation of hippie trails. The quest for soul searching, lied in travel, and for him, the journey he underwent before writing the book, was just a start. Unsurprisingly, American teens read the book cover-to-cover and before late, he became a literary icon.

The manuscript of On the Road

In fact, the term hippie was introduced in the 1960s. Before that, the American media coined the term, beatnik, to describe Americans, setting on a long journey inspired by Kerouacs writings. His works, acquired a global reach after hippies became prevalent around the world. The trail, required Americans to fly to Europe, which is where it would start. The final stop, more often than not, being Southern India, the travellers used the passes through pre-revolution Iran, and Afghanistan, before it was invaded, finally crossing over to Pakistan and entering India before settling in the southern states of Goa and Kerala.

Countercultures

Arguably, nothing influenced music and literature the way counterculture did. Constantly associated with liberation, one can see the rise of ideals of pacifism, LGBT acceptance and marijuana legalisation when one reads works like Post Office by Charles Bukowski or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S Thompson.

Counterculture literature grew with time when authors, notably, used their writings as a tool to critique the establishment that was governing them. Risking imprisonment and sedition charges, Kerouacs contemporary, Allen Ginsberg penned his much acclaimed poem, Howl. Ginsberg regularly mentions Kerouac in his works.

Allen Ginsberg in Banarasin 1963(HT PHOTO)

What is obscenity? And to whom? he wrote in the initial pages of his book, Howl and Other Poems. Ginsberg was frustrated that the rapidly growing American economy was masking the countrys military ventures. He accused the everyday white collar worker of ignoring the countrys atrocities. I saw the best minds of my generation who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot for Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks fell on their heads every day for the next decade, he wrote about how the US government was fooling them by luring them with jobs, as a way to mask Vietnam Wars atrocities. Subsequently, he had to face sedition charges.

Religion and spirituality

In Kerouacs final days, which would also mark the conclusive years of the Beat Generation, he set out in search of spirituality and was fascinated by Eastern religions. Ginsberg made a historic trip to India and Kerouac published, The Dharma Bums, what is now considered the hippie handbook.

My karma was to be born in America where nobody has any fun or believes in anything, especially freedom, he wrote. Raised a devout Roman Catholic, Kerouac after being introduced to Buddhism, mentions Bodhisattva frequently in his works which followed The Dharma Bums. Moreover, this was the early 1960s, when hippies, in their Volkswagen buses, thronged the beaches of California chanting Hare Rama, Hare Krishna.

First Published:Oct 11, 2019 15:42 IST

Read this article:
On the road to immortality - Hindustan Times

Few wise men and thought leaders for Indias national security once laughed at the mention of the maritime reach of the Deccan empires.

It was humorous to them, the idea that the kinds here had anything to do with the sea or had a blue water navy. Today, a simple search can bring up the history of the Chola, Pallava, Pandya and Chera dynasties.

Thank God for 4G and Wiki.

It is indeed a pity that history books and popular culture (aka Bollywood and even Kollywood) forgot the southerners post Independence. The laurels and glory of what happened to Delhi alone stayed as history.

Interestingly, most of it happened to Delhi than Delhi influencing things outside. Someday, if not the school kids, at least war colleges ought to be taught about the southern trio and their empire.

R Kalki Krishnamurthy in his epic mega serials of his era had chronicled the stories of the Pallavas and Cholas.

In his epic, Sivagaminyin Sabadham, he narrates the genesis of a town in honour of Mamalla (the great wrestler), Mamallapuram. The author, in fact, starts the story by saying clearly that with some facts available, he is using his imagination and opinion to create the rest of the story.

(A trivia to ponder on, was Sivagami Devi in Baahubali a character developed from Kalki's Sivakami ?)

China has to be appreciated both for its resilience and its desire to be modern with a clear understanding of their past.

Millennia of decay, misrule and indenture hasnt been good enough to make them forget their past.

The Belt and Road Initiative is an excellent example of it recreating its past trade routes.

An important aspect to remember in this initiative is the sea silk route. A route that the Chinese couldnt dominate on thanks to the blue water navy and gunboat diplomacy followed by the Cholas and Pallavas.

This virtual dominance of the sea route --- with full rearguard and dry-docks in islands all the way from Africa to China along important choke-points --- is a worthy past that post-colonial India didnt work on, except for a brief time in the 1970s and 1980s when India tried to resurrect Lakshadweep in the Arabian Ocean, and Andaman and Nicobar in the Bay of Bengal.

Mamallapuram port city might have been the epicentre of trade during the Pallava and Chola period. Apart from being the place from where the initiator of Shaolin tradition and Zen Buddhism, Bodhidarma would have most likely sailed on his mission.

A port that should have most likely been a key pivot to supply the troops in the conquest of Lanka when they were caught in a stalemate during Arul Muzhi Vermans (later on Raja Raja Cholans) campaign (will be good to read Kalkis Ponniyin Selvan for the folklore part!).

A port city that probably had schools on stone masonry to train masons who built huge temple complexes in India and in many places in the Indo-China region.

Like all good things the sun literally set on this port when it was abandoned by the East India company. The red coats preferred to build their safe house in Fort St. George and make Madras (Chennai) their capital.

A port with not enough draft was deemed fit to house the garrison for safety and to command the high seas. A location that had no great geographical features or resources to attract an attack but with a good vantage to defend the bay and hinterland.

Similar to the work done by the Chola dynasty, it appears that our incumbent PM has started the charm and awe mission to position this land in a contest for every inch of high mountain passes or deep seas.

This is a long game that will have to be fought both internally and externally.

Patience is the virtue in this game where there are no permanent enemies or friends.

Team India under its current Captain has aptly picked this important trading port of the old days, Mamallapuram, to have the informal meeting. Coincidentally, the point persons for Team India in foreign affairs and finance both seem to come from near Woraiyur, the ancient capital fo the Cholas.

The long walk over the high passes or the perilous sailing over the deep seas continues for Team India. It is good to see that the Captain and his team are all aboard on this long voyage!

Continue reading here:
Mamallapuram: Then And Now - Swarajya

Raji Pillai

The picturesque Villa Montalvo in Saratoga is the venue for the Bay Areas first South Asian Literature and Art Festival (SALA 2019).

The festival, which opened Oct 6, is presented by the Art Forum SF, a non-profit that promotes all visual, literary and performing arts emerging from South Asia, and the Montalvo Arts Center, in collaboration with the University of California, Berkeley, Institute for South Asia Studies.

The festival goes from noon to 5pm daily, with different panels every hour on topics spanning art, literature, non-fiction and film.

Harsha Ram, professor of comparative literature at UC Berkeley, spoke with beloved actor Deepti Naval. The session started with a video collage of scenes from several of Deepti Navals movies. She has acted in more than 90 films. A film she directed, Do Paise ki Dhoop, Chaar Aane ki Baarish is soon to be released on Netflix. She writes poetry in two languages, and has published a book of Hindi poetry and another in English.On the response to the art films in which she made a name for herself, she recounted that film producer NC Sippy said to her Dont change: dont put on makeup, lehengas and do dances. What you have brought is something we dont have.

She read a poem in Hindi, Registan ki Raat from Lamha Lamha, and mentioned that she has posted her poems on YouTube. A collection called The Silent Scream in Black Wind and Other Poems," stemmed from observing women at a mental institution. She read two moving poems from the collection.

On the opening day, painter Rekha Rodwittiya discussed her reflections at age 61 with Dr Prajit Dutta of Aicon Gallery, NY, with images of several of her paintings appearing on a screen.

Speaking in winding sentences, she painted a colorful picture of her life and art. In the late 1970s, she was a student of art at the MS University in Baroda, Gujarat, which then had a very fecund and wonderful environment of discourse.

In 1982 there was a seminal space of change, she said. Soon after, she read Salman Rushdies Midnights Children and Alice Walker (whose 1982 novel The Color Purple won a Pulitzer and was also made into a movie). It was a watershed moment and gave South Asian artists and writers the confidence to tell their stories differently.

Later, she studied at the Royal College of Arts in London. Her years in London were formative: she did not need to validate or explain her history. There she felt that each thread in a fabric is significant regardless of the color it is dyed.

Poetry can transport you in a way that prose cannot, said moderator Ritu Marwah in a conversation with poets Athena Kashyap and Tanuja Mehrotra Wakefield.

Kashyap has written Crossing Black Waters and Sitas Choice. Her family emigrated from Lahore in Pakistan. She read Partition Story, based on a true story from her family, and a poem about Leela, her domestic help in India.

Wakefield, author of The Undersong, grew up in Cleveland to Indian immigrant parents. She said she is inspired to write on long walks. She read a short poem titled Fear and Reverie.

Wakefield referred to her second poem as speaking the unspeakable. She was a brown girl trying to grow up in a very white environment. The poem is called Skin Hymn. It begins:

Hamilton, you promised medung for Valentines Day,because it would match my skin.

An audience member asked whom she wrote for? Wakefield replied with a quote from Yeats. Out of our argument with others, we make rhetoric. Out of our arguments with ourselves, we make poetry.

Next, Prof Harsha Ram of the Institute for South Asia Studies was in conversation with Minal Hajratwala and Siddharth Dube, LGBTQ writers.

Hajratwala read a poem on her childhood experience of Hinduism, and another, Insect Koan, that draws upon her experience with Zen Buddhism.

Dube, a non-fiction writer, was involved in the activism that led to the reading down of section 377 of the Indian Penal Code which criminalized homosexuality. He read two sections of his book, An Indefinite Sentence. The first was personal, about his encounter with the Delhi police in 1988, where homophobic insults were hurled at him.

Moazzam Sheikh, writer, translator and editor of an anthology of South Asian literature, spoke with Bay Area writers Nayomi Munaweera and Shanthi Sekaran, both with books on motherhood, childhood and immigration.

Munaweeras first book, Island of a Thousand Mirrors, about the civil war in Sri Lanka, was a broad portrait. In her second, What Lies Between Us, about the journey of a mother and daughter from Sri Lanka to America, she wanted to write a more intimate story, taking a closer look at a character.

The character has committed a terrible crime and is in jail. Her challenge was to make the reader feel empathy toward the character. She read a portion from the beginning, and remarked that it is a cautionary tale about the culture of silence, and what happens when silence is unbreakable.

Shanthi Sekarans book Lucky Boy is set in the US. She spoke of her characters Soli, who is Mexican, and Kavya, who is Indian-American. She read from a section where a friend tells Kavya, I hear youre trying to have a kid. And then proceeds to give her perspective on what it will be like. They will suck you dry, she says.

The Lucky Boy of the story is preverbal: Shanthi spoke of the research she did into children who were adopted or fostered as toddlers. Their experience is very different from that of an infant, or of an older child who has learned to speak.

Munaweera commented that in her early writing, she paid homage to writers like Rushdie and Arundhati Roy. Now she claims Americanness: We are claiming that we are as much American as we are South Asian.

When Sheikh commented that Lucky Boy creates a space where two minorities, South Asians and Mexican Americans, dont have to negotiate political space, Shanthi responded that her characters are all South Asians in general; she made Soli Mexican only because she wanted to tell the story of crossing the southern border of the United States.

Journalist Raghu Karnad, writer of Farthest Field, spoke with Jonathan Curiel, a journalist with The San Francisco Chronicle.

During the audience Q&A, a woman remarked on the account in the book that in the spring of 1943 there was a Japanese invasion of India and the same ship that bombed Pearl Harbor attacked India.

On the scarcity of stories about women, Karnad commented that womens stories, which he called the other half of human experience, were not captured earlier in history.

On view in the Open Space Gallery was Revelations: The Evolution of Modern and Contemporary Indian Art, with paintings by Jamini Roy, Anjolie Ela Menon and MF Husain, among others.

Tushar Unadkat was an engaging MC for the event. In keeping with SALAs support of all performing arts, troupes of dancers (children and adults) came and performed in front of the villa between each session, their colorful costumes, charming dances and lively music adding a celebratory touch to the event.

More events remain in the festival through Oct 18.

More:
SALA 2019 provides engaging fare for South Asians in the Bay Area - indica News

As a society, were doing an amazing job of managing our anxiety.

Aside from medication, theres a glut of self-help techniques out there; you can try diet, exercise, breathing techniques, visualisation or even download apps on your phone to help calm your mind. These things are all important and I welcome them.

I also get a real sense of acceptance:

This is the way I am. Im never going to cure my anxiety, so I need to learn how to manage it.

And lets face it, acceptance can be empowering.

It can feel great to be doing something about it, yet there is something about the level of activity that soundsexhausting. We prop ourselves up with coping techniques, but the problem remains.

I often wonder if one of the barriers is the word cure. It feels pretty clinical to me, like the way wed treat a cold or the measles. At some point, you expect to be completely free of it. Perhaps were setting ourselves up to fail.

The Mindset Shift

As a therapist, I see more and more clients searching for something else. Anxiety management has become a challenge and they are fed up of worrying if the next thing will work. They feel as though theyre trying to fix something that they dont understand.

This is the mindset shift I see. A move from thinking about anxiety as something separate from the person, like an alien attacking you, to rebalancing the power and really getting to know it.

Its about making friends with your anxiety.

Anxiety isnt abnormal

It makes sense to pay attention to anxiety. It is something that develops over time. A natural reaction to protect us, usually from big emotions that we are struggling to process. When something is too big to handle we inhibit it by feeling anxious instead.

It acts as a blocker and for a time it helps us to survive, to get through the day. But then the solution becomes the problem and getting through the day depends on how anxious we are. It is incredibly cruel!

Common anxiety-related experiences

Therapy can help us to make connections to our anxiety by understanding how our life experience and responses have contributed to it. Sometimes the connections are not immediately obvious. Heres some examples:

1. Holding on to truths you were told in childhood.

Perhaps growing up you were told that you were shy, disorganised, messy or bossy. You may even have got a sense that you were irritating or hard work.

You may have grown up believing that this is just the way you are. Yet you increasingly find yourself feeling restricted by your labels as you go through life. If you were labelled as bossy, for example, you might begin to feel anxious when youre in a leadership role at work.

2. Keeping your emotions hidden.

You may have grown up believing that some emotions are bad. Maybe you were scolded for showing something like anger, or maybe you witnessed it often and it was frightening. Your early experience with emotions can shape how you are today.

For example, if anger is difficult you might struggle to assert yourself or avoid rocking the boat. Or if sadness is difficult you might keep it hidden and pretend that everything is fine.

The problem is that the emotions stay inside us, simmering and bubbling away like a kettle. Eventually coming to the surface as anxiety.

3. Growing up with an adult who needed you to care for or worry about them.

If an adult expected you to predict or tend to their emotions, you may have grown up to be someone who feels very responsible for others. You became hyper-aware of the effect you have on people and might struggle to tend to your own needs or ask for help.

How does it help?

This is all about knowing yourself.

Its impossible to cover every scenario here, and each person has their own unique set of experiences and responses. I find that most clients intuitively know what to explore.

Knowing some of these connections can give you a sense of control over your reactions. You know where they come from so you can begin to challenge yourself.

When you understand your anxiety, you begin to realise that it is an entirely valid reaction to your life experience.

It helps you to become more compassionate with yourself and more curious about how you react to the world. Anxiety can become the gateway to healing, rather than the enemy it is now.

Follow this link:
How to Make Friends with Your Anxiety - Thrive Global

Is there a problem in this sad old world that cant be solved by physical jerks? I find myself muttering this, because wherever I go someone is coming up behind me, breathing heavily: a runner.

Some of my best friends are joggers pushing themselves up hills, finishing marathons it keeps depression and mood swings at bay and its free. Its a good thing, but I cannot be alone in finding underwhelming the advice about looking after ones mental health as if it is physical health.

For example, there is the Every Mind Matters campaign, an initiative from the NHS with a well-intentioned film featuring Prince Harry and Glenn Close. It has a mind plan, which gives you top tips and advice. I filled in the questionnaire and it told me to get off the bus a stop early, run up stairs, relax more and all that. Yes, lovely. As we go into winter, some people can barely get out of bed. Some of us feel lonely, hopeless and absolutely unmotivated. We should all talk more about our feelings I get that but something is askew here or at least being glossed over.

I would like to be less aware of acute mental illness. And suicide. And of the eating disorders and self-harm in so many schools. I would like not to see severely mentally ill people every day, but I do. They are sleeping on the street, gathering near hostels abused and often abusive, clearly in torment. There is no care and no community. Do we not see these folks?

Anyone who has tried to get a bed for someone in acute distress will know they may end up being sent to another part of the country because there are none nearby. They will also be discharged way too quickly, often with a cocktail of medication and little follow-up support. They will often resurface in A&E.

People with severe mental illness are not necessarily likable, or comprehensible. Stigma is still attached to schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. Those with these conditions may end up in prison, or as addicts, or on the streets. The economic cost of such illness is huge, the cost to loved ones even bigger.

Perhaps you will say this is a different issue, and there is a difference between serious illnesses and wellbeing the new catch-all term. Does wellbeing include the pandemic of anxiety disorders in young people and the rate of male suicide? Dont we need to be clearer about the bandied-about stat that one in six of us will have a common mental health disorder? Which disorder? The focus on anxiety and depression (as bad as they are) has led to this burgeoning discourse of selfhelp: we must all try to eat well, exercise, not become isolated precisely the things we are unable to do when our mental health is poor. Or when we are actually poor.

The link between mental health, unemployment, bad housing and isolation is real. Those in contact with secondary mental health services have an employment rate 67.4 percentage points lower than the overall rate.

The mental health crisis is a societal problem. Individuals find little help when there are long waiting lists even for six weeks of cognitive behavioural therapy. Psychiatric care is severely underfunded.

But we must ask what it is about the way we live that makes so many of us ill. Alienation in the Marxist sense cannot explain the forms and complexity of so much mental ill health, but it is a huge factor, surely?

Likewise, delving into individual childhoods, or seeing it all as matter of serotonin uptake, is reductive. We need to understand what is happening now, in this culture of 24/7 performance on social media and workplace presenteeism. What is also insane is the constant instruction to be happy. When I was young that was for the Americans.

Our malaise is not about individual pathologies. Self-care is never bad, but it can make it seem that, somehow, we are responsible for our own despair. Our failure here is collective and we are failing the mentally ill in myriad ways. It is a delusion to think that people can jog their way out of serious distress, or that a bit of mindfulness is the answer, just as you cant visualise your way out of cancer.

Awareness is cheap and comforting. What is much harder to understand is why so many of us are in pain.

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We are in the midst of a mental health crisis advice about jogging and self-care is not enough - The Guardian

My goal is to meet my patient where hes at. If he isnt ready to try abstinence, we work from that positionembracing harm reduction techniques and keeping an eye on the benefits and consequences of being a social drinker. This article, however, assumes the patient has been abstinent, has relapsed, and wishes to return to abstinence.

How was it?

Usually, a return to my office suggests the relapse did not end well. But I need the patient to articulate that, so I ask: How was the relapse? Did you have fun? Why are you here with me? When he shares that It didnt get any better out there, we can explore what led to the decision to use.

Usually my client is confused, uncertain about what made using seem like a good idea. I did it again! How did that happen? This is why a relapse reconstruction can serve as a major foundation as we build a defense against the next drink/drug.

Was it a moment of simply not caring? Was it a belief that the relapse would not be discovered and no harm would come? Did romance cause distraction? Did a resentment cause an angry relapse? Did euphoric recall blur judgment?

What were you doing?

When I ask what happened, many addicts are unable to identify a precise cause and effect. The response is usually something like, I dont know, it just seemed like a good idea at the time, or I missed the good times.

I start with the moments immediately leading up to the use:

The answers to these questions can reveal quite a bit. If my client was with unsafe people or in a dangerous place, these are things she can avoid in the future. Note: Even if the unsafe people are family, there are ways to avoid them, in order to create a new family of stable individuals. This is, after all, a deadly disease. Saying goodbye to family members, although difficult, may have to be done.

Very often, there are signals that a relapse is imminent, but those signals can be subtle and difficult to recognize, and can be present weeks and months before the actual relapse. Its important to explore:

Gambling (buying scratch tickets is big with the population we serve).

Changes in eating habits.

Mood swings (depressive or manic episodes).

Elevated anxiety.

Aggressive behavior.

Adrenalin-inducing activities (stealing, skydiving, etc.).

Buying things not really needed.

Changes in sexual habits.

Spending time with online gaming or watching porn.

Spending too many hours at work or the gym.

Many addicts innocently fall into these habits, failing to recognize them as manifestations of the disease. At least Im not drinking is a common response when someone mentions these behaviors to the addict. In reality, the behaviorsswitched addictionsare an attempt to fill the void once filled by the drug use.

What werent you doing?

This is the area of greatest opportunity for the addiction professional, because there are myriad ways to fortify ones sobriety, but they do require action. I try to maintain silence when my patient tries to enumerate things he could have been doing differently. Patients need time to frame their thinking and to identify what wasnt happening.

I believe the most common and important variable is the lack of safe, sober people in the addicts life. Creating a network of stable people can take time and effort, and many addicts in early recovery are uncomfortable in social situations. But there are ways to meet and bond with stable people, such as night school, church, self-help groups, volunteering, etc.

AA, NA and SMART Recovery meetings offer a wonderful opportunity to meet like-minded individuals who have learned how to stay sober and to have fun. Without seeming to promote AA, I work with patients to help them make the best use of that fellowship. In that regard, theres much to be examined:

Do you have a home group?

Do you have a job (like coffee maker) in that group?

Do you have a sponsor?

Do you attend enough (three? five?) meetings each week?

Do you sit up front at these meetings?

Do you show up early to participate in the meeting-before-the-meeting?

Do you have any friends in recovery?

Do you stick your hand out to the newcomer?

Obviously, a negative response to any of these questions creates an opportunity for behavioral change. Ill try to get my patient to agree to one or more of these activities in the immediate future.

Exercise and nutrition also are topics that present opportunities for the newly recovering. Encouraging patients to practice basic self-care habits is certainly appropriate for any addiction professional.

Finally, medication compliance must be examinednot only meds to treat substance use and other mental disorders, but also those to treat physical ailments. Ideally, the addiction professional will have an ongoing dialogue with the prescribers.

Let us not forget that were dealing with a brain disease. Logic and willpower are not likely to yield long-term success. In my experience, learning from a relapse is a golden opportunity to create new behaviors that support a recovery lifestyle. Relapse is not part of recoveryits part of the disease. Lets learn from it.

Brian Duffy, LMHC, LADC-I, is a mental health counselor at SMOC Behavioral Healthcare in Framingham, Mass. His email address is bduffy@smoc.org.

Continued here:
Learning from the Relapse - Psych Congress Network

Toxic is a tricky buzzword slapped on practically anything from skincare products to teas claiming to rid the body of harmful...somethings. Its an umbrella term with a suspiciously vague definition, often showing up in pop psychology and self-help as a catchall for anything unmistakably bad. This also extends to relationships with co-workers, romantic partners, and friends. If you havent commiserated with someone about a toxic friend, perhaps you think youve been one.

The internet is saturated with checklists of so-called warning signs of a toxic friendship, like lack of trust, a feeling of competition, and jealousy. Much of this advice hinges on the premise that a friend who bullies, gossips, or puts down others should be cut off immediately and without question, and its not entirely wrong. It can be difficult to find the energy to put into a friendship that just doesnt feel good anymore, and some people really arent great at being friends. But calling someone toxic misses the point: People are more complex than a numbered list of negative actions, and usually, the reasons behind their behavior are much more complicated. The concept of so-called toxins in our bodies has largely been debunked, so lets take that a step further and consider that there is no such thing as toxic people, only people in crisis. I know, because I was one.

A few years ago, I experienced a period of severe depression that coincided perfectly with a flare-up of my autoimmune disease and a string of failed relationships. I missed birthday parties and nights out because I was too sad and too tired to get dressed. I never told any of my friends how badly I felt because I figured no one would miss me anyway.

I was wrong. I lost friends because I didnt show up and didnt seem to care, and some of them eventually stopped calling because they were tired of being ignored. I wasnt a good friend, but I also wish someone wouldve just asked me what was up.

Dr. Andrea Bonior, licensed clinical psychologist and author of The Washington Post's "Baggage Check" mental health advice column, believes the word toxic can be inaccurate and hurtful when used to describe a difficult friend. It's overused, and it runs the risk of maybe pathologizing individual people, she says. It's a loaded word, and I think we have to be careful when we use it. A friend can be flaky, dishonest, or unreliable, but simply calling her toxic doesnt leave any room to examine why; its a dismissal that undermines the friendship of which shes supposedly one-half.

There are so many possibilities regarding why a friendship might start to feel toxic, and curiosity is a great first step, says Amanda Zayde, Psy.D., Attending Psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. If you have a friend whose behavior suddenly becomes problematic, checking in with them about what youve noticed and expressing a desire to understand the thoughts and emotions underlying their behavior may help them to feel safe enough to open up.

RELATED: How to Make Social Media Less Depressing Without Enduring a Dreaded "Digital Detox"

A friend who doesnt answer texts, starts missing birthday parties, or always seems to steer the conversation back to their own problems is still a friend, and its important to approach them with empathy. Maybe you have a friend whos really struggling, whether it's depression, substance abuse, or dysfunctional patterns with romantic relationships, Dr. Bonior says. The explanation for their change in behavior might not be easy for them to describe in a quick text or over brunch, but that doesnt mean no explanation exists.

Living with trauma from an abusive upbringing, an emotionally draining romantic relationship, or grieving the loss of a family member can all impact someones ability to focus on being a good friend, and these experiences can trigger a variety of emotional responses. They may isolate themselves, feel less excited to do things they used to enjoy, and their mood may be pessimistic, hopeless, or irritable, Dr. Bonior explains. A friend in crisis may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid to speak openly about their feelings, potentially causing them to pull away from their relationships and social life. Chronically bad moods, constant one-way conversations, or total silence can be annoying at best, but may also indicate someone struggling.

Those toxic friend survival guides would instruct you to see your way to the door. Cant return a text? Didnt show up to my party? Thats it, were through. What if, instead, we consider our own role in the friendship? Sometimes, being a friend means showing up for a person even especially when they are unable to reciprocate that kind of care.

I always advise people to try and see the other person's perspective, because sometimes when a friend needs the most help is when they're actually the toughest to be around, Dr. Bonior says. Forget the so-called signs of toxic friendships express a willingness to listen. They may be ignoring calls or being a downer, but simply sitting and listening can mean a lot. I try to take the path of, Hey, is everything okay? I noticed that you haven't seemed yourself lately, or you haven't been as excited, or you haven't been following through on plans, and that's not really like you, Dr. Bonior added. I want to listen, I want to hear what's going on.

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Instead of writing someone off as toxic and immediately cutting ties, Zayde suggests trying to specifically identify whats going on with the friendship, whether it feels emotionally draining, dysfunctional, one-sided, or even destructive. This helps avoid a full-fledged confrontation or accusatory rant, which can damage the friendship even further. Sometimes, Zayde says, the relationship may just need a temporary pause or reboot. This doesnt always mean the relationship isnt special or meaningful its normal for people and friendships evolve. When the friendship is a longstanding one, I think we owe it to our friends that we have a history with, and are really intertwined in their lives, Dr. Bonior says. You have to make a good faith effort because, to me, that's what friendship is all about.

As painful as it is to watch a good friend struggling, jumping in to help might not always be effective. Offering well-intentioned but unqualified advice to a friend in the midst of severe depression or a mental health crisis, for example, isnt helpful or safe. It's really hard in those situations to draw your own line because you don't want to abandon the person, but it also doesn't do any good for you to drive your own mental health into the ground just for the sake of trying to help a friend, says Dr. Bonior. It's almost like you're a paramedic. The first thing that you learn is not to endanger yourself when you're saving someone else.

In some cases, ending a friendship is necessary for the sake of everyone involved. You have the right to say, I feel like you need something more from me and I don't know how to give it, and I do need to take care of myself. I love you, I care about you, and I want the best for you, but I also need to be able to regroup and get some space for my own self-care. This is an exit strategy, yes, but its not flushing a toxin from your life as much as it is honoring the difficulty that you and your friend are both experiencing. And thats real.

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How to Deal With a "Toxic Friend," According to Someone Who Was One - Yahoo Lifestyle