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5 Pieces Of Career Advice From Comedian Ali Wongs New Book Dear Girls – Forbes

Posted: October 16, 2019 at 8:50 pm


HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 30: Ali Wong attends The Hollywood Reporter's Empowerment in Entertainment event 2019 at Milk Studios on April 30, 2019 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images)

Ali Wong, the actress, writer and stand-up comedian known for her two Netflix comedy specials Baby Cobra and Hard Knock Wife, publishes her debut memoir Dear Girls: Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice For Living Your Best Life, a chronicle of her life as an up-and-coming comic. Wong constantly gives advice in her stand-up routines and she instructs women to bring diapers (for themselves) to the hospital when theyre about to deliver a baby and to read self-help books if they feel like theyre a bad person, but now she has written down her advice in the form of a series of letters to her two daughters that make up her new book. Wong gives a large range of advice and covers numerous topics, and she gives a fair bit of career advice to aspiring stand-up comedians that can apply to any career. Below are five pieces of career advice she gives in her new book Dear Girls:

Fear Can Be A Good Motivator

Wong signed a prenuptial agreement before she married her husband, she says her in-laws insisted, and writes what they mean is, We still dont trust that b****. If she failed at stand-up and got divorced, she was basically left with nothing. She knew then she never wanted to rely on her husband to be the only source of income for their family. Wong writes, I was very motivated to make my own money because I signed a document specifically outlining how much I couldnt depend on my husband. My father always praised the gift of fear and that prenup scared the s*** out of me. In the end, being forced to sign that prenup was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me and my career.

You Have To Want It

Wong has a theory for why stand-up comedy doesnt appeal to women: safety. She points to the alone time, and when she is on the road, the number of times a day she has to share a car with strangers, for women it increases the odds of harassment, assault, etc. exponentially. She discusses how she walks through parking lots after shows late at night with keys between her fingers and sleeps in cheap, unsafe motel roomsits not a glamorous life. You gotta want it really bad to constantly put yourself in those situations, writes Wong. You have to really love stand-up and embrace every s***** thing that comes with it.

Its Important To Fail & Enjoy It

No one is born a great stand-up comedian, or born great at anything really. People become great by trying and failing consistently, improving on those failures and not losing enthusiasm for the work. Nobody is great at stand-up comedy right away and its important to have room to experiment, find your voice and, most important, to fail, writes Wong. In stand-up comedy failing on stage is called bombing, and Wong relishes it. She believes aspiring comedians must love bombing in order to be a great comic. I think all you need to be a good stand-up is to have a unique point of view, be funny, and enjoy bombing in front of strangers. You really do have to learn to like bombing a lot.

Dont Take A Class, Do The Work

Wong writes that if you want to be a stand-up the one thing you should not do is take a stand-up class, she calls them hacky, and says its a widely held view in the stand-up comedy community. If you want to learn how to do stand-up comedy, you have to do stand-up: go out to small, gritty comedy clubs, try new material, bomb, then get up and do it again.

Doing the open-mic circuit is real stand-up comedy class. Thats when you really find out if you have the strength and stamina to make a real audience laugh. The audiences for those stand-up comedy class shows are made up of friends and family of the students in the class. Its not a real audience. Those laughs arent genuine. Those classes are a sham because theyre too safe and nobody will respect you if they ever learn you took them.

Move Away From Home

At several points in the book, from when she moves to college, to studying abroad, traveling after college to when she moves to New York to do stand-up, Wong champions leaving the nest and seeing the world. Not only to learn about the world, but to understand who you are outside of your family. At some point you gotta go. Mama loves you but its important to get out of your hometown and get the f*** away from your familyWhen I got away from them, I finally felt like I could be the person I was meant to be, she writes.

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5 Pieces Of Career Advice From Comedian Ali Wongs New Book Dear Girls - Forbes

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Self-Help

Women’s Retreats Are Changing Their Message From Weight Loss to Self-Empowerment – Bon Appetit

Posted: at 8:50 pm


I was in a small, unfussy coffee shop close to my cottage in rural Nova Scotia when I saw the poster advertising a womens empowerment retreat at a rustic lodge on the shores of the warm Northumberland Strait.

Ive become increasingly curious about the growing interest in new-age spiritualism, and in particular, how women are seemingly using it as a way to address chronic dissatisfaction. Without knowing exactly what I would get out of it I contacted the retreat organizers to ask if I could attend the weekends events. Two weeks later I was sitting in a chair with my eyes closed in the middle of a log-walled room. Around me, dozens of women circled, taking turns whispering affirmations into my ear: You are brave. You are loved. You are special. Even as I rolled my eyes, I felt myself start to cry.

Oh god, I thought. Its working.

I felt simultaneously defeated and relieved.

The retreat, called I Am Worth It, was hosted by three wellness practitioners: a healing touch specialist, a reflexology therapist, and a naturopathic doctor. In addition to healthy meals, beach walks, and yoga, there were guided sessions that addressed letting go of past hurt, setting intentions, prioritizing self-care, and harnessing energy centers. It costs around $333 per person to attend. The duration of the retreat is two days. Rooms were shared.

Over the course of the two days, from early morning until well into the evening, women shared stories, exhaled a lot, dabbed their eyes with tissues, and formed a drumming circle under the full moon. Throughout we received advice from the practitioners, intended to help budge participants out of a rut once they returned home: make sure to get out into nature, light some scented candles while soaking in a deep tub, observe your chakras, and tell your mirrored reflection youre beautiful over and over until you start to believe it. We whispered affirmations in each others ears. At some point the naturopath explained that she tells clients, Were not going to talk about weight loss, but about how your parents treated you when you were little.

It was a rollercoaster of practical and obscure, out-there woo woo nonsense and disarmingly astute observation.

Wellness retreats are nothing new. Since the 2nd century B.C. and its Roman baths, people have fled to spas and health-minded resorts in an attempt to feel better. These early incarnations eventually evolved into the spa model of Golden Door in San Marcos, California, and Canyon Ranch in Tucson, Arizona, both of which offered opulent surroundings coupled with rigorous training geared toward weight loss and physical transformation. By the mid 2000s yoga retreats filled up Instagram feeds with photos of virtuous-looking activities, sun salutations on the beach, and fit people inhaling huge amounts of avocado.

And todays retreat culture has moved past the lose weight, feel great mentality, beyond a week of yoga and vegan meals in Puerto Vallarta, and squarely into the realm of self-empowerment.

These new retreat goers arent focused on losing weight, rehabbing, or escaping their problems. Theyre packing their emotional baggage and heading to places like Renew Breakup Bootcamp in upstate New York, a broken-heart retreat that helps women address subconscious patterns that keep them from the love they really deserve. At a Purpose in Paris retreat, participants cast negative self-talk into the Seine and make self-worth vows at the iconic lovelock bridge. In Miami, there are vision-boarding and manifesting retreats to help pinpoint limiting beliefs and evict the resident shit-talker living in your head. And one Costa Rica retreat combines self-defense, mindfulness, and self-care with the promise that your inner warrior princess is waiting to be unleashed into the world.

I believe people are understanding their need to turn focus inward and shine a light on the dark parts of themselves that maybe they weren't willing to face before, says Jennifer Sembler, whose Yemanya Travel company offers retreats for women with a 360-degree approach to mind, body, and spirit, including hiking, meditation, and life coaching sessions. This search for inner peace and truth is one of the driving forces behind this retreat movement, she says.

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Women's Retreats Are Changing Their Message From Weight Loss to Self-Empowerment - Bon Appetit

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Self-Help

Five Wisdom-filled Classic Books You Should Not Miss Reading – Thrive Global

Posted: at 8:50 pm


You only live once, but readers, in that one life, gain the wisdom of thousands. When you are reading a great book, you imagine yourself in that place the writer described as a little piece of heaven. You feel happiness, sadness, excitement and nerve-wracking anxiety all at once as you turn the pages of your favorite book.

A good read flushes adrenaline in veins and keeps one sane but some classic self-help books have something more to offer; they give you an insight to thoughtfulness, a thrill of creativity, imagination and personal growth as well. They light up your brain and help you grow morally, intellectually and physically with their nature of timelessness, universality and resonance with the reader.

From my personal to-read list, here is a list of 5 classic self-help books you wouldnt want to miss reading.

Note: You can read these books for free on BookMigo app or from a free online repository of classic books, Project Gutenberg.

Theme: Self-Mastery

This autobiography is the masterpiece to take inspiration, and, to actualize that inspiration. Fairly every page in this book is motivational enough to light the spark of chasing seemingly unachievable goals and leaving no stone unturned to achieve those goals.

The theme of this classical piece is mastery and the storyline is based on real events of Ben Franklin; a little boy born in a poor family of 17 children with limited resources. However, nothing came in his way of quest for knowledge and hustle for curiosity, which made him one of the most influential people. This is a real story of passion, combined with hard work and persistence.

Here is a chunk from his book showing how fond he was of reading despite having no resources:

I had such a thirst for knowledge, more proper books had not fallen in my way So, he proposed to his brother to be paid for him boarding. .. I could save half what he paid me. This was an additional fund for buying books

Theme: Self-Preservation

If wisdom and wit appeal to you, you must give a read to this ever-living classical novel, with self-preservation theme; The Prince.

Written originally in the Italian language, this bestseller is much more than a simple practical guide on how-to-rule, or (on a lighter note) a satire on how-not-to-rule.

In this classical hit, Machievalli tucks the diverse historical era into the words of wisdom by analyzing the reign of great rulers and criticizing their mistakes which caused their downfall. The universality of what he preaches to be a good ruler are yet synonymous with being a good leader, from which you can learn a great deal.

One of my very favourite passages from this classic novel is of chapter XVII: Cruelty and Clemency, and whether it is better to be Loved or Feared in which Machievalli writes:

and he must proceed in a temperate manner with prudence and humanity, so that too much confidence does not render him incautious, and too much diffidence does not render him intolerant

Theme: The Good Life

One of its own kind, this classic book Meditation is certainly a piece of literature that brings positive energy to you, the energy you might not even know already existed in you.

This book, based on the theme of good life, originally was not meant to be published, rather it was a collection of self-correction and continual-betterment thoughts of Aurelius. More of an assemblage of philosophical ideas, private thoughts and alleviating exercises to stay humble, empathetic, motivated, patient and generous.

Here is a beautiful piece of his writings:

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Written years ago, this book still resonates with thousands of readers as the insights, based on stoicism philosophy, are practical, calming and life changing as the witty comprehensiveness is hypnotic enough to bring the best out of yourself, to channel the positive thoughts and to make your life happier and satisfying.

Theme: Solitude

The idea of wandering in the land of nature, all by yourself, exploring wildlife and embracing deep thoughts is fascinating. This is what is reflected in this classic book, Walden Pond, written by Thoreau, based on the theme, solitude, with main focus on individualism. It revolves around the idea of sufficiency of a man, himself, to survive and most importantly to be happy.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this.

The love of nature, self-conscious thoughts and strength of ones self is what we all are deep down missing in this racing world of technology, despite being happy superficially. This book is an insight, in fact a reminder for us to start cherishing the little moments, the small things and the few resources we have, and trust in the self power.

Theme:Discipline

Ideas, hard work, discipline, faith, consistency, good morals and disregard of competition is what this classical book is full of and we have a lot to learn from it.

Based on the theme of discipline, this autobiography of Henry Ford is not a lifestyle but the mindset we need to get motivation from. Written beautifully, it is the story of an assiduous man, Ford, who changed the world by his vision and hard work and still always preferred public benefit more than his own profit. Reading this book will give you chuckles and loads of inspiration.

Heres a passage from this everlasting classical hit:

I will build a car for the great multitude. It will be large enough for the family, but small enough for the individual to run and care for. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the simplest designs that modern engineering can devise. But it will be so low in price that no man making a good salary will be unable to own one

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Self-Help

New Credit Union Fund to Boost Outreach in the South’s Historically Redlined Neighborhoods – Next City

Posted: at 8:50 pm


Cathi Kims office is just a few blocks from Wall Street, but she isnt managing investment capital like most of her neighboring investment managers are. Shes putting money exclusively into credit unions that are doing community development work in some of the hardest places to do community development, places that mainstream banks have long neglected.

Kim pitches to some of the same investors Wall Street financial firms do, like foundations and insurance companies, but her portfolio at Inclusiv (formerly the National Federation of Community Development Credit Unions) includes 24 credit unions, such as Hope Credit Union based in Jackson, Mississippi, and the Self-Help family of credit unions based in Durham, North Carolina.

These investments, known as secondary capital in credit union parlance, arent about taking over credit unions. Rather the money helps credit unions grow larger, and faster, than they would be able to grow without it. Hope Credit Union had seven branches before the Great Recession, and now has more than 30 locations across the Deep South, from Jackson and the Mississippi Delta to Memphis, Tennessee, to Little Rock, Arkansas, to New Orleans. This past summer Hope opened its second branch in Montgomery, Alabama. Meanwhile, over the past decade Self-Help has expanded outside North Carolina to six other states including California.

In September, Inclusiv launched the Southern Equity Fund, with the goal to double down and reach even deeper into the South, the poorest part of the United States. Inclusiv has raised around $45 million in capital so far for the new fund.

When you look at where the deeper pockets of persistent poverty counties are, and where we see this very tragic and complicated story of racial wealth gaps, we couldnt deny that theres this huge pattern, its concentrated in the South, Kim says.

More than a third of Inclusivs credit union members are already in the 17 states it defines as the South. But secondary capital investment remains largely concentrated in Hope and Self-Help. Those two credit unions alone account for a majority of all secondary capital invested in credit unions across the country, based on data from the National Credit Union Administration, the federal regulatory agency and deposit insurance provider for credit unions. With the Southern Equity Fund, one of Inclusivs goals is to bring more of its members into its secondary capital investment portfolio.

There are less than 100 credit unions currently in the country that have secondary capital, but we know far more are able to leverage it successfully, Kim says.

Secondary capital isnt for every credit union. First of all, its only available to those certified by the National Credit Union Administration as a low-income designated credit union meaning at least half the members come from low-income households.

It is an unfortunate reality of where our country is that almost half of all credit unions in this country are now low-income designated, Kim says.

In addition, secondary capital investments require prior approval from credit union regulators, including the National Credit Union Administration at the federal level and also a state regulator if the credit union is state-chartered. To obtain regulatory approval, eligible low-income designated credit unions submit a business plan showing how they will use the external investment to reach new members through new strategies, new branches, new products, or some combination of all the above. Thats often where Inclusiv can help, using its decades of experience making secondary capital investments in credit unions across the country.

Inclusiv has found secondary capital only really works when the credit union is already doing at least some of the groundwork required to reach deeper and further into communities that remain largely disconnected from the mainstream financial system.

Earlier this year, Inclusiv made a $2 million secondary capital investment in Park Community Credit Union, the fourth largest credit union in Kentucky. It was the credit unions first-ever secondary capital investment, and it illustrates the kind of groundwork that Inclusiv really looks for in potential candidates for secondary capital.

They were already doing the work, says Kim.

Park Community Credit Union was chartered by the state of Kentucky in 1955, originally serving as the credit union for employees of the General Electric Appliance Assembly Park in Louisville, Kentucky. It has since expanded its charter to serve the geographic areas of the Louisville metro area, southern Indiana and the Lexington area. With nearly a billion dollars in assets, Park Community is already the fourth largest credit union in Kentucky. But a few years ago its leadership and board who have always been predominantly white realized that they werent reaching certain parts of their region.

We saw that we are deficient in reaching out to some of these neighborhoods, especially the ones to be honest with you that we might have had some ignorance about as far as the prejudice, racial redlining, some of the things thats occurred historically, says David Shadburne, executive vice president at Park Community Credit Union.

Specifically, the credit union realized it wasnt reaching the nine predominantly black neighborhoods of Louisvilles West End the childhood home of Muhammad Ali which has historically been redlined and denied the same access to home mortgage lending and small business lending as white neighborhoods.

When you go into these communities where promises have been made and not been kept, you have to sit there and you have to listen, and you have to learn. You have to go in with a humble attitude and listen to the problems people are encountering every day, Shadburne says. Theyre problems I might not understand or have had to experience in my lifetime because I have privilege that others dont.

Park Community Credit Union is trying to back up conversations with action. For example, the credit union wanted to make a commitment to provide home mortgages that would meet the needs of current West End residents and help keep them in place. They decided to lower their credit score threshold for a home mortgage to 585, the lowest in the city. Then they figured out a way to offer the mortgages without requiring private mortgage insurance which can be a prohibitive cost barrier in Louisvilles West End because the number of vacant lots or abandoned houses makes these neighborhoods look like riskier investments requiring more costly private mortgage insurance policies.

Initially Park Community was going to offer these mortgages with adjustable interest rates until a conversation with local stakeholders convinced them to offer them at fixed interest rates instead.

One of those local stakeholders was Russell: A Place of Promise, a joint effort by the city of Louisville and the national nonprofit Cities United, co-led by Anthony Smith, who has been working for 25 years in community development, most of it focused in Louisvilles West End.

I dont know of any other credit unions or banks in my world, [who] have come out and made these relationships with folks who are not their members yet but theyre hoping they will be, says Smith. When we think about Park, their commitment, talking to them, they keep figuring out how to make this better. Theyve been just a key partner as an institution.

The credit union ended up making a public commitment to $7.5 million in home mortgages to families in the Russell neighborhood and its already met $1 million of that commitment, Shadburne says.

As part of its strategic growth into the West End, Park Community Credit Union also began offering commercial micro loans, up to $10,000, at just 3.99 percent interest, for small businesses looking to start up or expand. If the small business repays the loan on time, the credit union refunds the interest to the borrower. The credit union also began offering a new payday-loan alternative product that is already up to $1.5 million in outstanding loans, according to Shadburne.

The secondary capital investment from Inclusiv has allowed the Park Community Credit Union to be even more responsive to community needs than it might have been otherwise.

Without the secondary capital we wouldnt be able to have some of these innovative products. We would not be able to have the same magnitude of impact or go as quickly into some of these areas, Shadburne says. Were already talking about more secondary capital thats going to allow us to go deeper, farther into these areas.

Besides a bit of a cash cushion up front to go out and experiment with new products or new markets, the secondary capital also helps the credit union overcome the hidden barrier of regulatory oversight that often keeps mainstream financial institutions away from historically redlined neighborhoods because regulators believe those areas are too risky even if the financial institution is willing to take on the risk.

Secondary capital helps you to overcome some of the concerns that regulators have that goes back to some historic bias, Shadburne says. In a lot of cases, the history has sort of built on itself to cause some of the issues we have today.

Oscar is Next City's senior economics correspondent. He previously served asNext Citys editor from2018-2019, and was a Next City Equitable Cities Fellow from 2015-2016. Since 2011, Oscar has covered community development finance,community banking, impact investing, economic development, housingand more for media outlets suchas Shelterforce, B Magazine, Impact Alpha, and Fast Company.

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New Credit Union Fund to Boost Outreach in the South's Historically Redlined Neighborhoods - Next City

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Self-Help

This 10-year-old Jewish reporter has some tough post-debate questions – The Jewish News of Northern California

Posted: at 8:50 pm


Give 10-year-old Shawn Fairbairn this: Hes a political reporter who cuts to the quick.

He thinks that Marianne Williamson, the self-help guru seeking the Democratic presidential nomination, should stick to writing books. His first question for a top surrogate for Bernie Sanders was whether the Vermont senator was up to the job of running for president after a heart attack.

And if he gets a moment to talk to Sanders himself? He has a great gotcha question ready: Whats his favorite Ben and Jerrys flavor?

Id ask him how hes feeling and if he recovered well, I think Ill ask him that about his favorite flavor, Fairbairn explained, anticipating Sanders likely appearance in the spin room after the debate Tuesday in Westerville, Ohio.

Fairbairn is the latest reporter representing KidScoop Media at the debates. KidScoop Media is a Culver City, California outfit that gets kids interested in the news by getting them to report on it.

If this sounds familiar, its because the Jewish Telegraphic Agencyprofiledanother KidScoop Media reporter, Jeffery Kraft, in July at the debate in Detroit.

CNN or the Democratic National Committee its not clear who, exactly has for the second time seated JTA at a debate between KidScoop Media and Jewish Insider.

Fairbairn, like Kraft, is Jewish, and attends Hebrew school at Temple Akiba in Culver City twice a week. He says without hesitation that his favorite Jewish holiday is Rosh Hashanah.

I want to ask how they will empower kids like me who want to make a difference in the world.

I really like the Rosh Hashanah dinners and I like being with my family a lot, he said. I really like matzah balls.

Matzah balls? What about apples and honey?

I dont actually really like apples and honey, said Fairbairn, and then added with the politest expression of disgust shadowing his face.

Shawn has more serious questions planned to ask the candidates too.

I want to ask how they will empower kids like me who want to make a difference in the world, he said.

How does Fairbairn want to make a difference?

Rainforests. I like all the animals in them, I like animals a lot, frogs are my favorite animals and a lot of frogs live in rainforests, he said.

Shawn actuallymet Williamsonwhen the candidate had an event in Culver City in July.

Why did you take a break from writing books to go into politics? he asked her.

Her answer: She still is writing, on Twitter.

I just wanted to know, when we looked her up we saw she was an author, that she used to be author and then she became a politician, Fairbairn told JTA. I like to read books, I would wonder why people would stop writing, because I think that books are amazing.

It was at least a more normative encounter than Jefferys with Williamson, at the July debate. Williamson gave Jeffery an oddscoop that her cat was dead.

On Tuesday, Shawn, sporting a gray suit, a blue shirt, a black bow tie and a Sony camera around his neck, wandered the spin room and scored an interview with Nina Turner, the former Ohio state senator who is the president of Our Revolution, the political action committee that grew out of Sanders 2016 campaign.

I asked her how Senator Sanders was doing, Shawn said. She said hes feeling great, hes in high spirits. She said he has a lot of energy.

Turner told Shawn that Sanders and Ben and Jerry are all Vermonters, and that the ice cream mavens back Sanders campaign.

But it was JTA who told Shawn that Sanders, Ben, Jerry, and Williamson were all Jewish.

I did not know that! Fairbairn said, his eyebrows raising in genuine curiosity.

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This 10-year-old Jewish reporter has some tough post-debate questions - The Jewish News of Northern California

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Self-Help

‘We Should All Be Mirandas’ Celebrates the Actual Heroine of ‘Sex and the City’ – LA Magazine

Posted: at 8:50 pm


Its been 20-plus years since Sex and the City premiered on HBO, introducing a generation of premium cable subscribers to stylish sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw, and her three friends, Charlotte Goldenblatt (ne York), Samantha Jones, and Miranda Hobbes.

The ensuing two decades have only served to solidify the shows place in the pop culture pantheonjust ask designer Chelsea Fairless and writer-director Lauren Garroni, the L.A.-based duo behind @everyoutfitonsatc, an Instagram account that documents the series most iconic and most tragic fashion decisions. Theyve become authorities on the world of the show for the accounts 600k followers, and this week they release We Should All Be Mirandas, a satirical self-help book that plumbs a truth many fans have come around to as theyve gotten older: Miranda, not Carrie, was the series true connecting character.

It all started with the Instagram account, which began as a joke between the two friends, but within a month had 100k followers.

It was unexpected to say the least, Fairless says. Garroni adds, If we knew what it would become, we would have tried for a more interesting origin story, but thats probably why its become what its become because we didnt expect it to.

The account first spawned merch, including a T-shirt reading We Should All Be Mirandas, a parody of Diors $800-plus We Should All Be Feminists shirt. Hobbes, cynical attorney and single mother, takes a minute to warm up to. While young women watch the show and envy Bradshaws job, closet, and romantic life, Hobbes is often viewed as the frumpy realist who wears pantsuits and eats cake out of the trashcan. But once you grow up a little, you realize how great she was.

At the end of the day, Miranda went to Harvard, became a law partner before the age of 35, owns her own brownstone, has a full-time housekeeper, and in todays world, thats aspirational. If not that, I dont know what is.

In starting this account, we realized we had grown into Mirandas, Garroni says. I mean, Im sure the characteristics always existed or resided within us, but I think like many people, we wanted to be Carrie. We kind of emulated those behaviors in embarrassing ways. Our closets used to be filled with very regrettable H&M purchases. Chelsea and I both lived in New York and we went to college together for fashion school. There was a lot of walking on cobblestone streets in the dead of winter in high heels trying to emulate that lifestyle and never quite getting there and then starting the account and growing older, we were Mirandas and it caused us to look at why we didnt want to identify with her and really looking at how at the end of the day, shes someone who went to Harvard, became a law partner before the age of 35, owns her own brownstone, has a full-time housekeeper, and in todays world, thats aspirational. If not that, I dont know what is.

Stephanie Gonot

We Should All Be Mirandas pokes fun at the self-help books made popular in the 80s and 90s that tell women they can have it all.

Which basically means a good marriage, a hot body, a good career, all of that stuff, Fairless says, so our book very much uses that kind of architecture and that was our inspiration point for We Should All Be Mirandas.

The Miranda shirt led to a book, as well as a relationship with Cynthia Nixon, who played Hobbes on the show. When Nixonwho follows @everyoutfitonsatcran for New York governor in 2018, her team called Fairless and Garroni for help. The two hosted a fundraiser with her and designed merch for her campaign, and wrote and directed a campaign video for her. Kristin Davis, who plays Charlotte, and Sarah Jessica Parker, who plays Carrie, also follow the account. Considering the account occasionally pokes fun at the characters sartorial choices, Fairless and Garroni say theyre conscious of what they write.

We always want to try to be respectful to the actresses on the show, Fairless says. That said, we also want this to be for the audience. Were not afraid to say an outfit is crazy if its actually crazy and everyone perceives it to be that way. But also, its like sometimes we criticize the styling choices, but we would never criticize someones appearance, we have no criticism for the actresses of the show because they were so incredible.

Fairless and Garroni fete We Should All Be Mirandas at a launch party on Oct. 24 at the Standard, Hollywood.

RELATED: Scene It Before: Carrie Bradshaws Hollywood Smoking Stoop

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

Posted in Self-Help

Online Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Improves Sleep, PTSD in Evacuees of Natural Disasters – Neurology Advisor

Posted: at 8:50 pm


An online treatment platform consisting of psychoeducation for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and education regarding sleep management is a potentially effective strategy for reducing posttraumatic stress, according to research presented at World Sleep 2019, held September 20 to 25, in Vancouver, Canada.

Researchers enrolled evacuees of the Fort McMurray wildfires that occurred in Canada on May 1, 2016, in this study. A total of 697 individuals who participated in a baseline phone survey that assessed prevalence of PTSD, insomnia, and depression in this population expressed interest to participate. In the final cohort, researchers randomly assigned participants to a treatment condition (n=69) or a waitlist control condition (n=67).

The treatment condition consisted of a therapist-assisted self-help online cognitive behavior therapy that provided 12 sessions of psychoeducation on PTSD, sleep, and depression. Participants also received education regarding sleep management, including sleep hygiene education, stimulus control, and restriction of time in bed. They completed sleep diaries and self-assessment measures of PTSD, insomnia, and depression during the study.

Individuals randomly assigned to the treatment group completed a mean of 55.26 online therapy sessions, and 17 participants completed 50% of the treatment. The treatment condition was associated with improvements in the symptoms of PTSD, insomnia, and depression.

Limitations of the study include the predominantly large proportion of women (76%) and the self-reported nature of improvements in the PTSD and sleep parameters.

This computerized psychotherapeutic tool was successful to provide access to specialized evidence-based mental health care to promote resilience and better sleep after a disaster in a remote population, the researchers concluded.

Reference

Belleville G, Lebel J, Ouellet MC, et al. RESILIENT an online multidimensional treatment to promote resilience and better sleep: a randomized controlled trial. Abstract presented at World Sleep 2019 Congress; September 20-25, 2019; Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

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Online Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Improves Sleep, PTSD in Evacuees of Natural Disasters - Neurology Advisor

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

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Empty Garages: The Answer to Californias Housing Shortage? – The New York Times

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Steps from USC campus, a modern, newly built detached studio apartment. Full kitchen w/ brand-new gas stove, dishwasher. Washer/dryer, full bath, a/c, bedroom nook, ready-to-go entertainment hookups. Scandinavian design appeal. Walking distance to L.A. Metro. $1,400/month.

A dream Los Angeles rental listing? At 20 percent below market, in a neighborhood where the alternative is a 70-year-old building with a coin-operated laundry?

Its not reality yet, but it will be soon. Construction will begin this month on 20 to 30 units fitting this description through an innovative development effort that focuses on converting detached two-car garages of which there are 250,000 in Los Angeles County into subsidized studio apartments.

According to a recent report by the California Housing Partnership, the state needs 1.4 million more affordable rental homes to meet current needs. The housing crisis in California means that architects and builders have had to get creative, and Steven Dietz said he is up for the challenge.

I believe that affordable housing is the single biggest problem that California faces, and its entirely man-made, said Mr. Dietz, the chief executive of United Dwelling, a company that won a million-dollar grant last year from Los Angeles County to help bring his vision of garage conversions to life.

Garage conversions, granny flats, backyard cottages, in-law apartments, guesthouses, crash pads: In California as of 2017, theyre all accessory dwelling units, or ADUs, and state laws regulating their construction have been relaxed. Governor Gavin Newsom signed a law this month that further encourages their construction.

Larger, multiroom ADUs built from the ground up are also a part of efforts to contend with the housing crisis, but Mr. Dietz, a longtime venture capitalist who invested in Costco and Starbucks and has taught a class on entrepreneurship at the University of Southern Californias Marshall School of Business, took inspiration from the new laws to focus on a garage-based solution with research help from his students at U.S.C.

His idea is simple: United Dwelling enters a partnership with a homeowner, pays for the garage conversion, manages the rental of the apartment to a qualified applicant and splits the rent with the homeowner.

Since most of the detached garages in Los Angeles arent used for cars 91 percent of the 2,100 homeowners surveyed by Mr. Dietzs students use their garages for something else, mostly storage this can provide rental income and affordable housing in many neighborhoods. And it does it by using existing structures.

The No. 1 complaint with the construction of any new affordable housing anywhere is that it changes the fabric of the neighborhood, said Christian D. Nvar, the co-founder of Modative, an architecture firm in Los Angeles County that has been leading the charge in reimagining affordable ADUs. That isnt an issue, with this approach.

Modative has been specializing in small-footprint home design since its founding 13 years ago, but the current ADU push in the firms business started a year ago with Mr. Dietz, who asked Modative to design an attractive, appealing studio garage conversion that could be done quickly and efficiently and at large scale. Mr. Nvar and his business partner, Derek Leavitt, designed a 310-square-foot studio garage conversion with a set of specifications to fit almost any detached two-car garage.

Other organizations in the city have also been helping to make ADUs accessible to more people.

The Backyard Homes Project, coordinated by LA-Ms, a nonprofit design group working in low-income communities, received more than 130 applications in May from homeowners interested in building its one- and two-bedroom ADU designs. The program also provides the design, financing, construction and management in a one-stop shop, with collective partners that include Self-Help Federal Credit Union, LA Family Housing and Restore Neighborhoods LA.

Elaine Phuong, who lives in the West Los Angeles neighborhood, had her homes Spanish-style stucco garage converted into one of Modatives prototypes over the summer.

We had a garage we were just dumping stuff in. We didnt have a car in it, said Ms. Phuong, 40, a restaurant owner who lives with her husband and two young children.

Last year, she connected with Modative and agreed to become the first model conversion. I love minimalist homes that really maximize space. Its really thoughtful. It doesnt feel like a garage. It just feels like an apartment, but its camouflaged with the Spanish style, with a patio.

Ms. Phuong said her mother may move into the space, or her cousin. As much as renting it out is attractive, having family stay with us is probably a priority right now, because we have twin girls who are four years old, she said. But theres a lot of potential to help us regain whatever money we put in it.

United Dwelling is focusing its initial push in the South Los Angeles area, where there are 9,600 detached garages within three-quarters of a mile of one of the six Metro stops closest to U.S.C., which is a partner in the project. Each Metro stop represents a cluster ripe for conversions.

Leimert Park is a major neighborhood in the cluster, and Mr. Dietzs near-term goal is to begin construction there on 24 garage conversions in October. Many of the leases have already been signed.

We have a teachers aide who works at a school in Leimert Park but commutes from Lancaster, two hours away, Mr. Dietz said. She ends up sleeping in her car three to four days a week. One of the houses were working on is a couple with a 2-year-old, who live five doors down from the school.

The ideal outcome? The teacher gets to live a minutes walk from her job, the parents receive rental income and occasional babysitting help.

And theres one less car on the road.

By next January and February, Mr. Dietz said, he foresees 20 to 30 conversions a month in the first six geographic clusters around U.S.C. In subsequent rollouts, United Dwelling is working with public schools to provide housing for their teachers and with area hospitals to provide housing for doctors, nurses and other health workers.

Modatives chief innovation has been to trim both construction time and cost. It also streamlines the permit and inspection process.

In aesthetic terms, it was important to Mr. Nvar that the materials and fixtures be of high quality, modern, and thoughtful, with a pleasing selection of colors.

Through extensive research, he and Mr. Leavitt homed in on the necessary creature comforts: a bedroom nook thats tucked away, a full gas oven and stove, wiring for a television and entertainment area, a stacked washer-dryer and a dishwasher.

Mr. Nvar explained that Modative can save time and money by pre-assembling walls, kitchens and wiring, and then storing the components until a site is ready. Ms. Phuongs conversion was completed in June. This month, United Dwellings Leimert Park conversions will begin in earnest.

The prototype costs about $100,000, but by doing four to five conversions at a time in the same neighborhood, Modative estimates, it will cut the cost of each unit to about $65,000. With an empty garage and a clean foundation, each ADU conversion takes about two weeks.

In its partnership with United Dwelling, Modative is also contributing jobs; the firm has 15 construction workers who have been hired through Chrysalis, a nonprofit program that helps find jobs for people who have faced past roadblocks to employment, including homelessness, substance abuse and incarceration.

Each employee undergoes an in-house training program specifically geared to the ADU projects. To meet its construction goals, United Dwelling said, it needs to hire more workers.

We have done the big-budget, expansive custom home projects, which are fun in and of themselves, but they wont solve the housing problem, and they wont benefit the community, Mr. Nvar said. Right now, this is the work that excites us the most.

Mr. Nvar said Modatives focus on ADUs originated with his own challenges in finding a place to live, and with those of his colleagues.

Many of the companys employees have moved to Portland over the years, in search of housing that was within their means.

Mr. Nvar grew up in Sunnyvale, in the epicenter of Silicon Valley, and he said that he and his wife as business owners, parents of two young children, and with $250,000 in student loans could not afford a home there.

It doesnt really matter what stage of income youre at in California you cant afford a house, he said. Whether its a low-income rental or a first-time home buyer looking for something attainable, housing has become a universal problem.

The other strand of Modatives ADU work is an answer for first-time home buyers: units that are up to two bedrooms with 2.5 baths on a compact footprint. As with the studio garage conversion, customers choose from a set of models with different palettes and options. Think of buying a car; you select a model, and then you have a few choices. Do you want the red one or the black one? Leather interior or fabric? The home choices are limited, and so is the price: $350,000.

Modative built the first of its larger ADUs in West Los Angeles late last year, and it has several more home projects, including one in Santa Clara, Calif., that will be completed by the end of the year.

The larger ADU is the kind of structure that empty nesters might build in the backyard, so that their grown children might live in it or so that they can rent it for extra income. The hope is that well-priced ADUs can go far in solving a range of housing problems all over California and in the country.

While nonprofit housing developers prioritize multifamily developments, we support ADUs as one of many tools that can help address our housing crisis, given the staggering deficit of units across California for people of all incomes, said Alan Greenlee, executive director of the Southern California Association of Nonprofit Housing. Notably, ADUs can help achieve greater density of units in neighborhoods that are primarily zoned for single-family homes.

To spread the gospel of their garage converted ADUs more easily, Modative has IKEA-fied the building plans for the conversion, simplifying instructions to make construction accessible to more homeowners and contractors.

They have just licensed a set of test plans to an outside contractor to see if he can build it on his own from the plans. Mr. Nvar and Mr. Leavitt said they were inspired by the simple and elegant visual coding of LEGOs no written instructions needed.

The lessons learned in their youth dont stop there. When he was a seventh grader at Sunnyvale Middle School, Mr. Nvar took a wacky class called Survival of the Fittest that he remembers vividly. In it, he and his classmates were asked to imagine being stranded in the wilderness after a plane crash and to think about the most important basic thing that they couldnt live without. Water, they all agreed. Definitely water.

It was shelter, Mr. Nvar said; his teacher made a point of it. Without it, the sun, the heat, the cold the exposure would get you first. And I never forgot that.

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Empty Garages: The Answer to Californias Housing Shortage? - The New York Times

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

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Revenue for the first 9 months of 2019 +22% to 32.4 million – Yahoo Finance

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REVENUE FOR THE FIRST 9 MONTHS OF 2019+22% TO 32.4MILLION

Sales momentum confirmed

Noisy-le-Grand, France, October 15, 2019, 6:00 pm CEST EasyVista (FR0010246322 ALEZV PEA-PME eligible), a leading IT Management player in Europe and the United States, today announces its revenue for the third quarter of 2019.

Sylvain Gauthier, co-founder and CEO of EasyVista, says: As anticipated, our client portfolio is continuing to expand among a growing number of global players attracted, in particular, by our self-handling solution Self-Help thanks to our AI technologies associated with knowledge bases. By allowing the autonomous and automated management of IT issues for internal users and BtoB requests for external users, EasyVista is directly supporting organizations operational performances. Stakeholders in businesses digitalization, our solutions which have a growing number of users are enabling us to increase market share while addressing new segments beyond the ITSM scope. Confident that this sales momentum will continue over coming quarters, we are reaffirming our 2019 target of 20% revenue growth and an improvement in EBITDA.

Over the first nine months of 2019, revenue totaled 32.4 million, giving growth of 22%. Recurring revenue increased by 25% to 25.7 million. During the third quarter, EasyVista signed a number of emblematic new contracts abroad on the strategic upper-mid market segment. In Europe, the Group stood out on the energy and construction sectors with Ansaldo Energia in Italy and CAF in Spain in railway equipment. In France, EasyVista strengthened its positioning on the agro-industry, engineering and finance verticals with Savencia, Expleo (ex-Assystem Technologies) and Wendel. Lastly, in the United States the Group now has the Spark pharmaceutical laboratories and Vitamin Shoppe, a retailer with 780 stores generating over a billion in revenue, among its prominent listed corporate clients. EasyVista has also extended its public sector presence via the signing of a contract with Snohomish County in the State of Washington.

H2 2019 prospects: EV CONNECT 19

EasyVista could count on the success of its user conference, a key event in the group's marketing agenda, organized this year on the theme of transforming user services for the future of work in companies.The first session of EV CONNECT 19, held in Austin, Texas, in early October, recorded a significantly increased audience, with the participation of nearly 60 major North American clients who demonstrated the benefits of the solution through use cases and were trained in the latest innovations through workshops.The 2019 tour, which will pass through the cities of Madrid, Lisbon, Milan and Paris, will be an opportunity for customers to discover or rediscover the challenges of transforming the User Service using EasyVista's technological tools. This year, the group unveils the latest version of its Self-Help solution, Cobalt, which offers the possibility of quickly deploying virtual agents to assist users in solving their IT problems in natural language.

Next financial press release: 2019 annual revenue, on February 11, 2020

About EasyVista

EasyVista is a global software provider of intelligent service automation solutions for enterprise service management and Self-Help. Leveraging the power of ITSM, Self-Help, AI, and Micro Apps to create customer-focused service experiences, EasyVista has helped companies improve employee productivity, reduce operating costs, and increase customer satisfaction. Today, EasyVista helps over 1,500+ enterprises around the world to accelerate change, empowering leaders to better serve their employees and customers across financial services, healthcare, education, manufacturing and other industries.

EASYVISTAAmlie Aliasghariaaliasghari@easyvista.com01 55 85 91 13

NewCap Financial Communication & Investor RelationsLouis-Victor Delouvrier / Emmanuel Huynh easyvista@newcap.eu 01 44 71 98 53

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Revenue for the first 9 months of 2019 +22% to 32.4 million - Yahoo Finance

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

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My Daughter and I Were Diagnosed With Autism on the Same Day – NYT Parenting

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Creditvia Jen Malia

You convinced yourself that you and our daughter have autism, my husband yelled. You did all this research and told the doctor what he needed to hear to diagnose you!

No, it wasnt like that, I said. You know about all the testing we went through.

I cant believe you brought her into this, he said. Youre like those mothers who make up medical problems about their kids. Why cant you just let her be a kid?

Shes still the same girl she was before she got diagnosed, I said, tears dripping down my face. And Im still the same woman you married, too.

I knew then that if I couldnt persuade my husband of five years to accept my daughters autism and my own, it would ruin our marriage and tear our family apart. Autism wasnt just a medical diagnosis; it was part of our identities. To reject our autism was to reject us.

Doctors originally told me my daughter had just a language delay. But I knew this couldnt explain the intensity of her emotional meltdowns. It took me hundreds of hours of medical research to understand that her difficulty socializing, repetitive routines, sensory issues and obsessive interests pointed to autism. I eventually realized that not only was she autistic I was, too. A clinical psychologist diagnosed me and my daughter with autism spectrum disorder on the same day; she was 2 and I was 39.

Do you think theres something wrong with everyone in our family? my husband asked a year later, when our then 2-year-old son was also diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. As an autistic mother, I wasnt surprised to learn that I had another child on the spectrum. A 2014 study found that parents of autistic children are more likely to have elevated levels of autistic traits, whether or not these traits are enough to qualify for a clinical diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder.

[Learn about sensory processing disorder and how it affects kids.]

In the study, when one parent scored high on a test that measures presence and severity of autistic traits (the SRS, or Social Responsiveness Scale), they were 52 percent more likely to have a diagnosed autistic child; when both parents scored high, they were 85 percent more likely to have one. Published earlier this year, the largest study ever conducted regarding genetic contributions to autism also found that inherited genes account for about 80 percent of autism risk.

But how was I supposed to parent our autistic children if my husband didnt even think they were autistic and doubted my diagnosis too? It is not unusual for family members and others who know autistic women to have trouble accepting their autism diagnosis.

Doctors, teachers and most people have a male stereotype of autism in mind; when they think of autism, they think of Rain Man, not of a woman or girl, said Dr. Francesca Happ, Ph.D., a professor of cognitive neuroscience at Kings College London. For women who are married with children, this goes against several stereotypes people may hold about autism: male, single, few close relationships, no children.

The diagnostic criteria and assessment tools were developed primarily based on how autism presents in males, which means women can often be overlooked for an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, depriving them of an understanding of themselves as different, not damaged, said Dr. Lauren Kenworthy, Ph.D., a professor of neurology, pediatrics and psychiatry at the George Washington University School of Medicine and the director of the Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders at Childrens National Hospital.

Sunyi Dean of Leeds, England, a mother of a 4-year-old nonverbal autistic son and a 7-year-old daughter who is on the waiting list for autism spectrum disorder diagnostic testing with the National Health Service, said that she worried about how her son will relate to other people if he doesnt learn verbal communication, but at the moment he is happy in himself and settled into his special school.

With her home-schooled daughter, Dean said she was mostly ignored by professionals and other parents when she first raised concerns about autism, and now that shes being taken more seriously, the process has been very difficult and slow.

As an autistic mother who was diagnosed after her son was, the biggest challenge for Dean has been finding time for self-care. I always thought I wouldnt mind the demands of parenthood because Im not hugely social and dont need to go out much, Dean said. But I still need a lot of personal space, a lot of downtime to recover on my own, and thats difficult to get with kids around.

By the time I was diagnosed with autism, I was so overwhelmed by the responsibilities of working full time as an English professor while parenting three young children (a 1-year-old son and 2- and 3-year-old daughters) that I could barely keep it together.

The year before my diagnosis, the stress of being an undiagnosed autistic mother nearly cost me my life. I spent two weeks in and out of the E.R. complaining of stroke-like symptoms while battling uncontrollable crying fits brought on by my desperate attempts to get medical treatment. You need to learn to manage your pain. The E.R. is only for patients who actually have emergencies, a nurse said while handing me my discharge papers.

Though I didnt know it at the time, my crying fits at home and in the hospital were autistic meltdowns. I would find out many months later that what I had experienced was a cycle of sporadic hemiplegic migraines, which can lead to a coma or, in rare cases, even death. I often wonder if I would have been treated differently by medical staff if I had had an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis then, or if I still would have been dismissed as an anxious woman who didnt know how to manage her pain.

Research also suggests that undiagnosed autism has been harmful for women. In a 2016 study of 14 women, many told us that the fact that their autism went unrecognized for so long had a very real and negative impact upon their mental health, said Dr. William Mandy, D.Clin.Psy., Ph.D., an associate professor in clinical psychology at University College London. A lack of a diagnosis means a lack of appropriately targeted support, which can place an autistic individual under huge stress.

The published research on the experiences of autistic mothers is very limited. Two small qualitative studies in 2016 and 2017 consider pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period. The interviews of autistic mothers in these studies reveal challenges they had with sensory issues during breastfeeding and childbirth, and adapting to motherhood and infant care. Many said they felt unfairly judged by midwives and other caregivers on parenting skills and decisions.

Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen, Ph.D., a professor of developmental psychopathology and the director of the Autism Research Center at the University of Cambridge, and his colleagues have multiple studies underway to investigate the experience of autistic motherhood beyond the perinatal period. Presented at the 2016 International Meeting for Autism Research, their unpublished research involved an online survey of more than 300 autistic mothers. The study found the majority of them had extreme anxiety when talking to professionals about their children, encountered disbelief when they disclosed their diagnosis to professionals and struggled with daily parenting tasks.

It should now be a routine requirement for autism researchers to collaborate with autistic people in every project, Dr. Baron-Cohen said. Without the input of autistic mothers, we would have missed key issues such as the fact that autistic mothers have increased rates of postnatal depression and have been falsely accused of Munchausen syndrome by proxy on the assumption that they were making up their childrens autism. He hopes this research will lead to more awareness of autistic motherhood experiences and the development of policy documents to improve the woefully inadequate services available for autistic mothers.

Many autistic women are highly attuned to their children, said Lana Grant, author of From Here to Maternity: Pregnancy and Motherhood on the Autism Spectrum, a book aimed at helping autistic mothers with the challenges of pregnancy and motherhood. They may see their child struggling with the same things that they struggled with as a child. They read up on everything they can about a behavior or condition and then they go to the professionals for help. Instead, they are seen as too knowledgeable and hysterical, Grant said, and dismissed as trying to tell professionals how to do their job.

She was already the mother of five of her six children (three of whom are on the autism spectrum) when she got her autism diagnosis at 38. Autistic mothers are their own worst critics, Grant said. She recommends that autistic mothers find a support network of other mothers on the spectrum, including those who are out and proud on social media, like her.

A few years after my diagnosis, my husband came to accept my own and our childrens autism. I stopped lecturing him, realizing that he would eventually understand our differences on his own terms. He started going to therapy appointments with our children. Then last year, at our kids Taekwondo class, I told the father of another child that we are autistic. I know, he said. Your husband told me last time he was here.

My husband now respects my parenting decisions, knowing that I can help our children by drawing on my own experiences living with autism. He is the supportive husband whom I married and a loving father who accepts our kids differences.

While the limitations of my autism sometimes make it difficult for me to handle the demands of parenting three young kids, I am now more willing to seek help from support groups and therapists. Learning to understand and accept my own and my kids autism was the best thing that ever happened to me because it empowered me to be a better mom.

[The right school can make all the difference for a child with disabilities, one mom writes.]

Jen Malia is associate professor of English at Norfolk State University and the author of the forthcoming childrens picture book Too Sticky! Sensory Issues With Autism.

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My Daughter and I Were Diagnosed With Autism on the Same Day - NYT Parenting

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October 16th, 2019 at 8:50 pm

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