Showtimes Work in Progress opens on a dark note, with its heroine threatening to kill herself in a hundred and eighty days if happiness doesnt come her way. I mean, Im forty-five, Abby gripes to her therapist. Im fat. Im this queer dyke who has done shit in her lifeand that is my identity? In a funny, curmudgeonly monologue, Abby describes herself as an unfinished building ruining a good neighborhoodan eyesore. When she glances up, her shrink, still grinning supportively, has dropped dead.

Its a Borscht Belt gag, but, then, Abbys whole life feels like a punch line. Still, buried in that Eeyore-ish lament, theres something else: Abbys girlish fantasy of herself as a fucking damsel longing for rescueby a prince or a princess, the details dont matter. Magically, thats just what she gets when she meets Chris, a twenty-two-year-old waiter who Abby (Abby McEnany) initially assumes is hitting on her straight sister. Played by the supremely chill Theo Germaine, Chris looks like Abbys prince in shining tank tops, capable of fixing the unfixable.

This budding romance isnt precisely a Nora Ephron meet-cute, but its a charmer in a new way. Abby is unfazed by the news that Chris is trans, and, despite the generational gulf, theres symmetry to their gender issues: to strangers, Chris, who cant afford top surgery, reads as a cute lesbian tomboy, while Abby, with her shlumpy butch charisma, short-cropped gray hair, and button-down shirts, has spent her life being mistaken for male, even in lesbian bars. In college, she was taunted as Pat, after the Saturday Night Live character, and when, on their first date, she and Chris run into the comedian who played Pat, Julia Sweeney (an executive producer for the show, gamely playing herself), Chris urges Abby to tell her off. I really love conflict, he explains, smiling sweetly. Because hes twenty-two, Chris is stunned to hear of the existence of Patwhats so funny about a person whose gender cant be guessed?

Work in Progress, like its heroine, is sweetly imperfect: not every bit lands, and Chris can feel, at moments, too good to be true. But the series explores, with warmth and originality, the messy gulf between the era when Abby came outas an overall-wearing romantic in a frat-boy world, drinking in lesbian bars full of folksingersand Chriss community of cheerful poly hipsters in Spock ears, corsets, and throuples. When Chris takes Abby to a night club, which features bare-assed burlesque and signs for fisting demonstrations, she groans, I look like Mitt Romney, Jr. Junior? Chris shoots back. In another episode, in a cab, the couple text their sexual preferences back and forth, turning informed consent into flirtation. PENETRATION, Chris texts. I dont think I can fit my Thoughts into one text, Abby texts back, throwing off panicked GIFs of Mr. Furley, from Threes Company.

In many ways, Work in Progress is a familiar entry in an established genre: its an indie comedy by and about a clever, dyspeptic misfit looking for love. Like Pamela Adlons Better Things and Tig Notaros One Mississippi, its about a single misanthrope cautiously dipping her toe into the dating pool. Like Josh Thomass Please Like Me and Maria Bamfords Lady Dynamite, its interested in mental illness and self-help. But Work in Progresswhich is co-written and produced by Lilly Wachowskiis smartly edited, full of odd little montages and visual juxtapositions. It has its own distinctive, salty vibe, driven by McEnanys simultaneously self-loathing and self-aggrandizing swagger. Shes an irritant with charm, along with genuine baggage. (Among other things, she has O.C.D.; as annoyed people bang on the bathroom door, she washes her hands raw.) She also has a secret closet full of notebooks in which shes recorded her whole life. Nobody knows it, but Abby is telling their story. In certain ways, Work in Progress is a mirror image of Hannah Gadsbys Nanette, which argues that self-deprecation, especially for people like her and Abby, amounts to self-harm. Work in Progress takes the position that it might be something better: a tool that, in the right hands, could renovate an unwelcoming culture in Abbys imagecrankiness, grief, and all.

In Dare Me, on USA, a cheerleading team in a depressed Rust Belt town hires a new coach, a blond hot shot who the rich boosters hope will whip their squad into trophy-winning shape. What do I see? Spray tans. Gummy-bear thighs, the coach, Colette French, observes, strutting across the school gym, pinching a girls soft belly as she passes by. (Fix this, Colette says.) I do not see my top girl. One of the cheerleaders, Addy, the striving daughter of a single mom who is also a cop, falls in Colettes thrall, becoming her favorite, her babysitter, and her confidante. Addys best friend, the troublemaker Beth, sees Colette as the enemy.

We know from the start that something bad is coming: those unexplained flash-forwards to a black pool of blood are kind of a giveaway. But while the series, an adaptation of a novel by Megan Abbott, is full of shady twistsblackmail, cyber chicanery, adultery straight out of Double Indemnitythe criminal mystery is not really its central appeal. Its a sharp character portrait and a dreamy mood piece, one style inflecting the other. Beneath the shows poetic, occasionally repetitious narration (there are only so many times we can hear Addy brood, in voice-over, about the fact that people have shadows and wear masks), theres a clear-eyed examination of a small town full of dangerously bored kids, partying in the woods, soft targets for coaches and military recruiters who offer them a ticket out of the busted local economy.

Still, the power of the show flows just as much through its imagerya decadent, unashamedly voyeuristic vision of athletic beauty, with a hallucinogenic verve that keeps it from becoming cheesy. Closeups turn a bruise or a glittering lip into a fetish object. It often feels as if the girls are being shot in slo-mo, even when theyre not. The camera lurks by the lockers, watching the team shower, vomit, and spar; it hovers under the bleachers, ogling muscular thighs. It takes a Gods-eye view of the squads wild lifts, nudges in as they grind at parties, stares out of the mirror when they apply false lashes. To call these shots objectifying would miss the point: they replicate the way the girls see themselves, as both prey and predator. Dare Me is certainly not the only show on TV with bitchy, gorgeous cheerleadersits a clich of many teen series, in multiple genresbut it treats their experiences with a freaky, sensual gravity, not as an arch joke.

The show is especially interested in female ambitionand the ways users can warp a girl-power fantasy to suit their own needs. Who runs the world? Girls!, Beths sleazy dad announces. Youve seen the T-shirt. For him, the team is a lure for investment in a lucrative stadium deal; in private, he bribes his daughters with fancy purses. Some of the best scenes are between Beth and her dissolute mother, a pill-head divorce at the crossroads between Eugene ONeill and The Real Housewives, who is a different kind of coach. You have to play the part: smile and smile, she tells Beth, pressing her to manipulate her dad. Maybe it is my fault. I made you think you can be anything, do anything. Beth answers like a Peter Pan desperate not to go Wendy: I hope I never grow up at all.

Amid a strong cast, Willa Fitzgerald is the standout as the enigmatic Colette, who alternates between spurring her cheerleaders to victory and inviting them over for drunken dance parties. Hanging out with high-school kids seems to work as a contact high for her, normalizing her hidden recklessness. You are the one who wanted the house! she hisses at her husband, as they fight. You love a pretty front. When Colette cheats on him, the show has the respect not to film the sex scenes clinically or from a distance: in the honorable tradition of noir, it looks like the kind of sex youd risk your life for.

View post:
Uncertain Attraction in Work in Progress and Dare Me - The New Yorker

PHOENIX (3TV/CBS 5) -On June 17, 2015, in South Carolina, Dylann Roof walked into a black church, opened fire, killing nine innocent people during worship. He was convicted of 33 hate crimes.

[WATCH:Hope Dealer: Former skinhead making impact inArizona]

A rise of white nationalism is being felt just about everywhere, including Arizona.

[APP USERS:See infographic of rise in hate crimes in Arizona]

A menorah was turned into a swastika in Scottsdale. Offensive graffiti can be found all over the Valley, like on a wall in Mesa.

[READ MORE:Offensive, racist graffiti in Mesa community has residents outraged]

There's only one way to understand why white supremacy is making a comeback. So, we sat down and talked with the now-former second-highest-ranking skinhead in America, Garrett Deetz.

[RELATED:Bomb threats at Jewish centers across country, creates heightened awareness in AZ (Feb. 21, 2017)]

I hated everybody," Deetz said, reflecting back at his life.

Deetz broke free from the skinheads a few years ago. But for decades, he took pleasure in hurting people, terrorizing anyone who didn't look like him.

Would you describe yourself as a racist? journalist Brandon Lee asked.

"Absolutely. My family wasn't, but I was," Deetz said.

Deetz grew up in a military family, moving from base to base. His parents were strict and grew concerned when he started to act out. Strict family. Extension cords. You'd get whooped. You know that's just how it was back in those days. I got whooped a lot," said Deetz.

[RELATED:Man with Aryan Brotherhood ties arrested for swastika graffiti tags in Scottsdale]

The whoopings didn't work. At just 10 years old, Deetz was already abusing cocaine. "I was up on the roof of the house on the very tip of the roof of the house, holding a teddy bear screaming for my parents because I was just gone," said Deetz.

At 14, Deetzs troubles escalated. He began hanging out with gangs.

"What led you to even dabble with gangs at the age of 14?" Lee asked.

"I think I wasn't getting the attention from home that I wanted. It's not that they didn't give me attention; they just didn't give me the attention that I wanted," said Deetz.

By 17, Deetz was fully entrenched into the skinheads. "The drugs and alcohol, it wasn't that. I needed something more. I needed that element of excitement. That element of fear," says Deetz.

Deetz terrorized the Valley, especially in the late 90s, when he escaped from an Arizona jail. A manhunt ensued. Days later, Deetz was back behind bars.

"Where did you make that wrong turn? Would you describe your parents as racist?" asked Lee.

"No," said Deetz.

Would you describe your parents as having hate in their heart?" asked Lee.

Absolutely not," said Deetz.

So, where did you find that hate in your heart?" asked Lee.

Through them, the gangs. I hated everybody. Definitely, if you were gay, I'm coming after you," said Deetz.

Deetz has spent half his life in lockup, roughly two decades in prison for violent crimes. He spent time in "the hole" for trying to kill another inmate. At one of the darkest moments of his life, Deetz found the light. His life suddenly and unexpectedly changed from the unlikeliest of people: his cellmate.

"When we locked down that night and I'm laying (sic) in my bed and this dude he asks me again, 'Hey brother, would you like to pray with me?' I remember jumping off the bed, getting in his face, pulling my hand back, ready to hit him, and I was like, 'Yeah.' And I can tell you to this day, that I can never explain how that happened, and I started praying with this guy," said Deetz.

Deetz got sober behind bars. He made a promise to himself that he would break free from the skinheads when he was released. Instead of dealing drugs, he's now dealing hope to rooms packed with recovering addicts at 12-step meetings.

His message of faith strikes at the heart of the people in the audience. When you start getting that sobriety in your life, and you start getting those people in your life and are pushing you to get better man, like the gates of heaven, just go, 'Ahhhhh!' said Deetz.

How have you made amends to all of the people you've hurt? asked Lee.

I can't. In sobriety, we also have something called living amends. It's for people we can't make amends to. I got a lot of living amends, you know what I mean?" said Deetz.

Part of Deetzs living amends is sharing a message of hope to gang bangers and addicts behind bars. At least once a month, Deetz goes to Arizona jails and prisons to speak to other skinheads about breaking free to create a new life.

"My life is filled with light, not darkness, light. I see everyone beautiful. I see the world as beautiful. I want to help everyone I can," said Deetz.

You're clearly reformed. You're out of the gangs. You are covered in skinhead ink," said Lee.

Yea. I surely am," said Deetz.

You have swastikas all over your body. Why haven't you gotten those tatts removed?" asked Lee.

Because that's part of my testimony. That's my way of letting people see that change is possible," said Deetz.

Deetz has teamed up with an Arizona nonprofit Gold Canyon Heart and Home. Their mission is to help guys break away from gangs and break free from the cycle of drug abuse.

Joe Chiappetta, Jr. is one of the directors of the nonprofit. Just the effect it has on the guys to see us coming back to see Garrett coming back. It's amazing. It gives them that hope. It gives them a belief that there's something better," Chiappetta said.

Deetz credits the nonprofit for showing him a path forward to recovery. I lived my life taking from people and hurting people. And now I get to see this beautiful life of what can come from helping people. It's amazing," said Deetz.

Deetz is brutally honest about his past. He owns up to all the hurt and pain he's caused. He was such a high-profile gangster, former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio even spoke at his sentencing as Deetz was facing 20 years to life.

When Deetz speaks, his message is having an impact. A person at the 12-step meeting we attended with Deetz wanted to share with us how proud she is of the man Deetz has become. She asked to remain anonymous. Its totally different from the person I first met to today. He's welcoming today. He's got a smile on his face today. No matter what he was before, that's not who he is today. People can change and Garrett has in so many ways," said Deetz.

As we were wrapping up our interview, Deetz told us why hes coming out so publicly about his past. "I'm going to continue living my life every day trying to help out any and every individual I can: white, black, brown, whatever color you are. Gay, lesbian, or whatever you are, it doesn't matter to me anymore. What matters to me now is making this world a better freaking place," said Deetz.

Chiappetta has set up a GoFundMe page help pay for a self help book. If you would like to help out, click here.

Here is the original post:
Reformed skinhead who served time in Arizona helps others break free from hate - AZFamily

United Airlines will add seven more routes to those flown by its Bombardier CRJ550, part of the continued roll out of the carriers first 50-seat jet with a first-class cabin.

The Star Alliance airline is adding routes on the jet from its hubs at Chicago OHare (ORD), Newark Liberty (EWR), and Washington Dulles (IAD) beginning in April, according to Cirium schedules:

Sign up for the free daily TPG newsletter for more airline news!

United spokesman Luke Punzenberger confirmed the routes to TPG. He said the airline looks forward to bringing the CRJ550 experience to more of our customers in the months ahead.

The carrier began flying the CRJ550 in October. The jet is a retrofitted CRJ700 airframe with 50 seats, including 10 in first class, 20 in Economy Plus, and 20 in Economy. The aircraft features closets that United claims eliminates the need for passengers to gate-check bags and a self-service snack bar for first class passengers.

United is using its CRJ550s to help replace its economy-only 50-seat regional jets. The dual-class layout allows the airline to better compete with rivals who it says have a competitive advantage with more 76-seat regional jets, while remaining compliant with its pilots contract that caps it at 255 of the larger models.

Related: What its like flying Uniteds new CRJ550

The airline is also taking advantage of the new type to add more Embraer 175s to its feeder fleet. As CRJ700s are removed for conversion to CRJ550, United is able to add more E-Jets that passengers largely view as more comfortable. Next year, it will add 20 E175s in a 70-seat configuration under a recently announced deal with Mesa Airlines.

With 54 CRJ550s due by the end of 2020, United will add more routes through the spring and summer. The aircraft is due to enter service between Newark and Ronald Reagan Washington National (DCA) on a new shuttle-like service this spring, airline executives have said.

United begins flying the CRJ550 from Newark in February and Washington in March.

Featured image by Zach Griff/TPG.

See the article here:
United Airlines to fly 7 more routes with upgraded Bombardier CRJ550 - The Points Guy

Kerstin Mattukat,1 Peter Boehm,2 Katja Raberger,1 Christoph Schaefer,3 Gernot Keyszer,3 Wilfried Mau1

1Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine, Martin Luther University Halle-Wittenberg, Halle (Saale), Germany; 2Federal Association of the German League Against Rheumatism, Bonn, Germany; 3Clinic for Internal Medicine II, Department of Internal Medicine, University Hospital Halle, Halle (Saale), Germany

Correspondence: Kerstin Mattukat Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine, Martin Luther University Halle-Wittenberg, Magdeburger Street 8, Halle (Saale) 06112, Germany Tel +49 345 557-7646 Fax +49 345 557-4206 Email kerstin.mattukat@medizin.uni-halle.de

Objective: Patient preferences for information and participation in medical decision-making are important prerequisites to realize a shared decision between patients and physicians. This paper aims at exploring these preferences in German patients with inflammatory rheumatic diseases and at identifying relevant determinants of these preferences. Methods: In a cross-sectional survey, adult patients with rheumatoid arthritis (RA), spondyloarthritis (SA) or different connective tissue diseases (CTS) filled out a questionnaire. Data were collected via a written questionnaire (1) sent to members of a regional self-help group or (2) handed out to patients at their rheumatologists appointment, and (3) via an online questionnaire available nationwide. Measurements included information and participation preferences (Autonomy Preference Index; API: 0100), as well as health-related and sociodemographic variables. Analyses included ANOVAs (group differences) and multiple regression analyses (determinants of preferences). To ensure the analysis was patient-centered we involved a trained representative of the German League Against Rheumatism as a research partner. Results: 1616 patients returned questionnaires [44% response, 79% female, mean age 54 years, diagnoses 63% RA, 28% SA, 19% CTS]. Participants reported a concurring major preference for information but vastly different preferences for participation. A greater preference for participation was associated with female sex, younger age, higher household income, and self-help group membership. Conversely, a lower preference for participation was linked to blue-collar workers, retirement, higher confidence in the rheumatologist, and poorer health literacy. Conclusion: Whereas patients consistently welcome comprehensive information about their disease and its different treatment options, not all patients wish to be involved in therapeutic decisions. Especially older patients with lower education status and lower health literacy, but higher confidence in their rheumatologist tend to leave the decisions rather to the physician. Different preferences should be considered in the doctorpatient communication.

Keywords: doctorpatient communication, decision making, health care, outpatient, patient-reported outcomes

This work is published and licensed by Dove Medical Press Limited. The full terms of this license are available at https://www.dovepress.com/terms.php and incorporate the Creative Commons Attribution - Non Commercial (unported, v3.0) License. By accessing the work you hereby accept the Terms. Non-commercial uses of the work are permitted without any further permission from Dove Medical Press Limited, provided the work is properly attributed. For permission for commercial use of this work, please see paragraphs 4.2 and 5 of our Terms.

See more here:
How Much Information and Participation Do Patients with Inflammatory R | PPA - Dove Medical Press

By Grant H. Brenner

"Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty." Albert Einstein

Rates of anxiety and depression are on the rise, the future of the planet (or at least our species) is uncertain, and Millennialsand Gen Zers increasingly get a bad rap in the workplace. The classic formula of blaming the victim doesnt help us understand what is happening with our young people and how they can best cope with the current world circumstances.

A group of seasoned clinician-researchers in Norway, including Per-Einar Binder and esteemed colleagues, has been studying how age-old wisdom, delivered in modern, digestible bites, can help college students adapt more effectively to the fluid, frightening, and uncertain environment which characterizes the world of 2020.

Their team developed a series of three 90-minuteworkshops based on Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), with manageable personal practices to transform ones relationship with oneself and result in measurable improvements in both self-image and functional outcomes.

Self-compassion and loving-kindness practices, related approaches from Hindu, Buddhist and other traditions have been shown to have great benefitsand even re-wire the brain and reset the bodys autonomic nervous system to a state of greater balance and poise.

Dr. Binder describes an overview of the three sessionsthey developed via email interview:

"The first session introduced participants to mindfulness and self-compassion using 15-minute lectures, short mindfulness and self-compassion exercises (affectionate breathing, loving-kindness for ourselves, and self-compassion break), group discussions, and experiential practicese.g. participants were asked to reflect on and then write downwhat they would say to themselves to improve something they disliked about themselves. Then they were asked to reflect upon and write down what they would say to a friend under similar circumstances. Participants were then encouraged to discuss the differences between how they tended to treat themselves versusothersand the influence this had on themselves.

The second session dealt with mindfulness (with a classical mindfulness meditation and a compassion-based meditation), common physical stress reactions, shame reactions, dealing with destructive self-criticism, how self-compassionate behavior might influence the body and mind, and activating and soothing affect systems within an evolutionary and attachment framework (Gilbert & Procter).

The third and final session comprised of an experiential practice and discussions and on positive feelings, reflections on how one wants to live,further discussions about compassion for oneself and others, and the meditations that we introduced in the second session.

Participants were provided with audio guides to mindfulness and self-compassion exercises for daily use between sessions, as well as copies of the PowerPoint presentations given in each session.

Between the first and second sessions, participants were encouraged to use the 15-minute audio guides to practice affectionate breathing and loving-kindness for ourselves on a daily basis, adapted from the MSC program.

Between the second and third sessions, participants were expected to use the audio guides to practice two new 15-minute exercises: mindfulness of breathing, body, and emotions, adapted from the MBSR [Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction]program, and giving and receiving compassion, adapted from the MSC program."

Their work has spanned many years. In an earlier study(Dundas et al, 2017), students completed the workshops above and researchers measured the objective impact. They found measurable and significant changes in self-efficacy, personal growth, improved impulse control, reduced self-critical thinking, and less negative self-directed thoughts. Theyfound increased self-compassion and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety, changes that were sustained at 6-month follow-up.

How did the research findings compare with students subjective reports? To look at this question, the research team recruited a final group of almost 100 students who completed the three-part mindful self-compassion intervention. All of the participants completed a questionnaire designed to rate how useful the workshops were for them personally. They were also asked what was the most important thing they got out of the course.

Twelveof the study participants were contacted at random for a detailed, live interview. They were asked a general question about what was most important, followed by more targeted questions to explore specific aspects, such as changes in how participants treated themselveswith specific examples, whether they approached academics differently as a result of the course,and about how self-compassion work may have affected relationships. The narrative responses were carefully refined using qualitative research techniques to distill out the strongest themes, which clustered into 5 categories:

Students reported gradually doing better as they persisted. Small stepsbuildup to big differences if we let them. Students accepted temporary set-backs and were thereby able to move past failure with self-compassion and support from others. Puttingtheir problems in perspective made it easier to move forward, even for big problems.

Self-compassion allows people thatreject help to recognize the need for help, overcome barriers to asking for help, develop help-seeking skills, and use them. Students reported, however, that it was easier said than done. On one hand, the concepts from mindful self-compassion were straightforward to grasp, but putting them into practice was at first effortful.

Students were stunned when they realized how rough they were being with themselves, leading for many to immediate changes. Many noted that imagining how they would treat a friend, versus how they dealt with themselves, made a big difference for buffering harshness.

At first, awareness is hard to handle, which can lead to swings that ultimately leveledout intogreater self-mastery and optimism. Identifying the inner critic and setting it up as an external concept made it easier to re-calibrate self-relationshipto becomegentler and more self-accepting.

Suffering is a natural part of the human condition, mindful self-compassion teaches. While difficultand undesirable, suffering is normal and shared. Students reported great relief, freedom from the sense of isolation, alone-ness, and the idea of being uniquely burdenedeven while recognizing that people suffer differently, and for many different reasons.

Recognizing the commonality of suffering allowed participants to self-sooth more effectively, feeling safer and less ashamed. A sense of group belonging increased and students felt calmer.

The self-compassion pause was described as particularly useful. Students were taught to say to themselves: What do I need when I feel pain like this? This question becomes second-nature.

Some students were on the fence about talking openly about suffering around other people, as it made them anxious and distressed. People with strong fears of compassion often have personal traumaand may need individualized care.

Rather than spiral downward, participants learned to accept how they were feeling even when feelings were strongly negative ordisorienting.

They noted an increased capacity forself-help. Each time they were able to choose a better path increased their sense of self-efficacy, faith in their ability to provision themselves, and a greater sense of safety and security.

They reported becoming more competent to deal with difficult feelings. Being friendly and gentle toward oneself allowed students to decouple from maladaptive thought habits and sub them with more effective, self-compassionate approaches. This, in turn, increased their sense of autonomy and agency, leading to greater empowerment.

Students reported that stress management organically improved with practice of loving-kindness and self-compassion. They emphasized the crucial role of being friendlytoward oneself as an overarching construct, one to come back to gently and consistently.

In addition to emotional benefits, students reported more positive body attitudesandself-care in areas likeeating, sleep, and exercise. They said the recommendedmeditation practice kept them grounded. Emotional stabilization resultedin greater inner peace. Listening to the body bypaying attention to heart and breathwas also a game-changer.

This research is remarkable because it gives a glimpse into the hearts and minds of contemporary college students. Showing that complex ideas and practices can be broken down into a user-friendly package that works in this groupis an important proof of concept. Interventions similar to this one can be adapted for other groupsand translated into digital tools to complement in-person and personal work.

It seems obvious that a broader adoption of compassionfor oneself and othershas the power to transform not just individual lives but the whole of the human condition. Making these practices accessible to more groups by translating them into relatable and practical formats has the potential to contribute to the greater good. The process is slow, slower on a collective level than for individuals, but has a great positive impact in the longer-term.

Dr. Binder generously shared his observations fromworking closely with self-compassion for many years:

"I think that the most important thing that I have learned from my work with self-compassion is how powerful it is to become aware of how one is treating oneself... And then to become curious about oneself, and start to experiment with different ways of treating oneself. The group format is ideal for this. It is a type of exploration thatis very useful to do together with others that are also facing some ofthe same challenges.

For me, originally trained within long-term psychotherapy, it is surprising to see the deep impact that also a short-term intervention can have. It seems to have a health promoting function in itself for many participants. It may also be an intervention that can augment the effect of psychotherapy.

Another counterintuitive thing: One thing that I did not expect, was that the participants would find our brief lectures so useful. We had some brief (5-10 minutes) lectures about compassion/self-compassion, shame, the inner critic, etc.

I think some of the greatest challenges for people seeking to cultivate self-compassion is un-learning non-productive ways of treating oneself. The habits of threatening or shaming oneself is hard to change. The destructive inner critic often goes under our radars. When we become aware, it also is often painful when we realize how much harm we have caused ourselves through destructive self-criticism.

Another great challenge for many, is what Christopher Germer and Kristin Neff describe as backdraft. When we start treating ourselves in a more accepting and compassionate way, fresh air come often come into rooms and spaces of sorrow, frustration or other painful emotions that we have kept locked for many years."

Emotional flames can often roar.

Follow this link:
5 Researched Ways Self-Compassion Training Is Transformative - Psychology Today

Harvey Weinstein with his walking frame leaving Manhattan criminal court last week. Photograph: Bryan R Smith/AFP via Getty

Harvey Weinstein is not the first name that springs to mind when I think of the empowerment of women in Hollywood. But then you cant have everything although, for a while, he did.

Weinstein, lately seen hobbling on a walking frame into court, had, a few days later, strangely recovered enough to be photographed strolling unaided near his New York home. He still gets out to comedy clubs and still gives interviews where he boasts that he made more movies about women and directed by women than anyone else. It all got eviscerated because of what happened, he says. My work has been forgotten.

Yes. There is that what happened thing: the allegations of rape. Then there are the multiple accounts of sexual misconduct (more than 30) for which a $25m (18.7m) settlement has reportedly been reached. Weinstein also complained that he made Gwyneth Paltrow the highest-paid female actor in Hollwood. Great! She has also accused him of sexually harassing her. Still, as I said, you cant have everything.

Weinstein, surrounded by his swarm of minders/enablers/lawyers/whatevers, has racked up 57 violations of bail conditions involving his electronic tag. So in court, instead of $1m, his bail went up to $5m. Everything can be bought. The #MeToo movement never reckoned with the crude power of money and the insatiable taste for the legal system to pass this off as justice.

Weinstein harassed women because of the authority such wealth gives you. Now he whines about what he did for women as he pays them off. He remains a free man. Still, although money talks, not everyone is listening. Weinstein will be remembered. Not for his films, but for being a self-pitying predator. And, judging by the walking-frame performance, for being one of the worst actors Hollywood has ever produced.

Originally posted here:
Harvey Weinstein wants to be remembered. He will be as a self-pitying predator - The Guardian

Dec. 11, 2019, 4:40 PM UTC

The holidays roll around once a year so its understandable that youd want to enjoy the festive fare and put off healthier habits just for now. After all, why should you deny yourself the pleasure of that once-a-year holiday-themed sugar cookie or sausage stuffing or spiked eggnog?

Im all for enjoying any holiday goodies you fancy without guilt or giving it a second thought. However, the marathon food fest that occurs between Thanksgiving and December 31st can take a toll on your physical and emotional health. Overeating, eating poorly, and drinking more than the healthy booze limits can impact your mood and your sleep, and that can really put a damper on your holiday spirit! Plus, eating and drinking to excess often triggers guilt, stress and anxiety, which needless to say, isnt good for your wellbeing. Navigating the holiday season healthfully is tricky for everyone. Heres how to get through the season joyfully while remaining healthy-ish.

The allure of holiday food is often more about the fear of missing out than the food itself. Its that once a year, get it now or wait til next year mentality that can override other food sensibilities. This is especially true if youve been on an overly restrictive diet that eliminates your favorite foods or fun, but less healthful menu items.

Think about it this way: If youre eyeing a pair of shoes and the store only has one pair left in your size, it makes you want them that much more. But if you know you can order them online any time youd like, youre in a better position to compare them to other shoes and decide if and when youd like to make the purchase. The same is true with food. If you really want stuffing in July or a sugar cookie in September, you can find those foods. You may have to go a little out of your way to get or make them, but its totally doable. With an abundant mindset, you can be more selective at holiday meals.

Some holiday foods are mind-blowingly delicious and others are just so-so. When you become more mindful and aware of these distinctions, it puts you in a better position to be more intentional and deliberate with holiday foods. Sure, fruitcake is primarily available this time of year, but if it doesnt do much for you, theres no point in eating it. Prioritize the foods you truly enjoy and eat them in portions that feel good to you.

Savoring your food can go a long way toward increasing your satisfaction, lowering your overall intake and even reducing bloating and indigestion that can occur when youre eating too quickly and not chewing thoroughly. We live in a fast-paced world so its seemingly normal to wolf down a meal, but your body wants you to slow down!

It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to receive signals from your appetite-regulating hormones so if you arent spending at least this amount of time savoring a meal, you wont get those signals when youve had enough to eat. Several studies have linked fast eating with weight gain and bigger weight fluctuations and this habit is also associated with a higher risk of type 2 diabetes.

But setting aside the health concerns, slowing down can lead to better enjoyment of your meal. Whether youre having holiday fare or an ordinary meal, stay present and take time to appreciate every aspect of it. How does it smell? Whats the experience biting into it? How does it taste in your mouth? What else can you appreciate about the moment? Maybe its the music, the party setting or a beautiful wreath. The holidays are about much more than food and the process of being more mindful helps you fully appreciate the entire experience.

Get the better newsletter.

Your body is constantly sending you physical signals, but over time, you may learn to ignore or override them. Start to tune into these signals, which include sensations of hunger and fullness as well as things, like reflux, bloating and gas.

If youre wondering how to discover your bodys signals, here are some ideas. About halfway through a meal, you might ask yourself how much youre enjoying your meal and assess how youre filling up. When you have a few bites left, you might evaluate how youre feeling and if you want to eat a few bites more. You might examine how different portion sizes make you feel. For instance, how does a large helping of an extra-rich casserole impact your digestive system? What about a smaller portion? Do you feel sluggish after eating or does a meal revive your energy?

As you decipher what your body is saying to you, practice responding to the signs you pick up on. The facts you discover can help inform another eating occasion so if a meal makes you feel overly full or wreaks havoc on your digestion, you might approach your next eating occasion differently. But dont go overboard here! Its unrealistic to expect that you will only eat in response to hunger, that youll always stop at the point of feeling content, and that youll only eat foods that make you feel your physical best. Again, the idea is to bring more awareness to eating so you can make choices. At a holiday meal, it might make sense to eat a little more or have a larger helping of dessert, but at other meals, a different approach might serve you better.

Prioritizing fruits and vegetables isnt about sticking to low-cal fare in between holiday splurges. Its about the happiness-boosting benefits they provide. Studies continue to point to the fact that these fiber-packed, antioxidant-rich plants may lead to meaningful gains in happiness and life satisfaction. In one study that looked at the eating habits of more than 12,000 adults, those who ate the most defined as eight servings a day experienced improvements in life satisfaction. If eight servings sounds like a lot, consider that as few as four servings per day were linked to higher happiness scores. Another study found that people eating three to four servings of fruit and veggies reported less stress compared to those eating just a serving. And other research shows that your happiness fluctuates depending on your daily portions of these foods.

The holidays are stressful enough. Filling half your plate with veggies at lunch and dinner and eating a couple of pieces of fruit each day might help mellow you out and lift your holiday spirits.

A glass of wine or a festive cocktail can be an enjoyable way to celebrate the season, but making a habit of going above the alcohol limits can have a negative impact on your mood. Before you head to a holiday party, try to set an intention of one or two drinks (the limits for women and men). If this isnt realistic for you, try to pace your drinking by sipping water alongside your cocktail or alternating a glass of H20 between each alcoholic drink.

You probably dont need me to tell you that a nasty hangover can make you feel like a scrooge so do your best to avoid this scenario. In addition to staying hydrated, dont drink on an empty stomach and if your holiday party rages well into the night, continue to nibble throughout the event. These strategies along with stopping when youve reached your limit will help keep your spirits up.

Staying healthy over the holidays isnt just about the foods you eat. Managing your stress levels and getting enough rest are critical to your overall wellbeing. When you feel depleted, youre more likely to catch a cold, your body is more prone to storing fat, your work suffers and its harder to feel in control of your food choices.

Take a look at the self-care practices that you regularly participate in and determine whether youre caring for yourself well or whether there may be an opportunity to do better. Youll enjoy the holidays more if you dont run yourself ragged.

Its so easy to say yes to another event, a second or third glass of prosecco or a few cookies from the cookie platter. Check in with yourself regularly and ask yourself if another event, cocktail or helping of food is at the expense of your own wellbeing. If overstuffing yourself leaves you feeling awful or if a certain type of food doesnt sit well with you, its not offensive to say "no, thank you".

Setting food aside, you may also want to apply this thinking to your social schedule. If youre overscheduled to the point of overwhelm, its likely that your health is suffering. RSVPing "no" to a party might open up some space to stay more consistent with physical activity or participate in other healthy practices that may have fallen by the wayside.

Skipping spin because youre heading to your fourth event of the week? Its totally normal to feel like you dont have time to exercise or cook healthfully or participate in any number of self-care practices that keep you in tip top shape. But the truth is, theres a huge space in between having all the time and energy and having none of it so find that magic in the middle. Sure, you might not have the time to devote to your usual spin class, but maybe you have time to take a 15-minute walk during your lunch break. A weeks worth of meal prep might be out, but you might find some shortcuts, like pre-washed veggies, to help you reach a happier veggie target. If the holidays throw a curveball in your usual yoga or meditation practice, a one-minute meditation practice or some deep breathing is better than none at all. Studies repeatedly show that some attempt at staying healthy is better than ditching it altogether so instead of letting everything slide, do whatever you can whenever you can and aim to be healthier (or healthy-ish) this season.

Want more tips like these? NBC News BETTER is obsessed with finding easier, healthier and smarter ways to live. Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Read more from the original source:
10 tips to avoid letting healthy habits slip during the holidays - NBC News

This article contains opinion

Graduates, rejoice!

Youve finally come to the end of your long and illustrious road of endless studying, mind-boggling assignments and numerous packs of ramen at 1 a.m.

And while it is a joyous occasion, do not forget that you still have plenty of blank pages inside of your book of life and many stories to uncover.

You began this journey at age four, not knowing much about the world or life in general, and here you are now, much older and much more experienced in the world and those around you. You are now entering the disciplined world of adulthood.

This is not meant to scare you, but rather to keep you focused on reaching your highest potential in life.

You now have bills to pay.

You have to find a career.

You are now able to start a family.

You can now grow old and begin living the life you were meant to live.

That piece of paper that has your name and what you concentrated in isnt just a waste of a tree, its the key to your future and to your success.

We want to read your name in TIME Magazine as Person of the Year. We want you to receive the Nobel Prize. We want you to be the best version of you that you can be.

As you step beyond IUP, remember that you have more than 14,000 students and more than a million alumni who support you and wish you nothing but luck and support along your way through life.

Go out and make us proud.

Read the original here:
Sleb's Self-Help Column: A Guide to Proactive Life Solutions - A Letter for Graduating Students: Keep Striving - Indiana University The Penn Online

A so-called pro-choice group in Texas is promoting abortion as magical and a form of self-care and using the holidays to do it.

Texas Equal Access (TEA) Fund thought it would be festive to create party favors for their upcoming holiday party in the form of prayer candles with the message, Abortions are Magical printed in block-letters on the sides.

TEA shared an image of the candles on Facebook, which the group said it made to honor our volunteers and show them a token of appreciation."

As Fox News reports, several pro-life groups and advocates including founder and president of Live Action Lila Rose and the March for Life have responded to TEAs insensitive if not outright disgusting messaging.

Abortion is not 'magical,' abortion is murder, said Rose in an interview with Daily Caller.

"Abortion simplify inflicts another act of violence against the woman & her innocent child," Live Action tweeted.

March for Life responded by inviting TEA to attend the 2020 March for Life:

Despite backlash, TEA doubled-down on its messaging. A day after sharing the photo of their holiday party favors, TEA posted on Facebook an explanation for why we use the language we use:

Abortions are an option for people who dont want to be pregnant, plain and simple, the post reads. Access to abortion care allows people to decide when to start a family. They provide new beginnings for people trying to create a future for themselves that may have been unimaginable without their abortion. Abortions help people prioritize their own physical and mental health.

TEA goes on, Abortions are magical for most people who have them and refuting that just increases stigma around abortion. They are health care, self care, and community care. We are proud to help people access abortion care and support them through the process.

TEA reposted their explanation on Wednesday and continues to post content normalizing abortion.

(Cover Photo: Flickr / Sergio Santos)

MRCTV Reader,

The liberal media are terrified of the truth, especially when it leads to uncomfortable questions about their own leftist worldview.

MRCTV is the multimedia division of MRC featuring original content and aggregated videos of the news, people, and events conservatives care about.

MRCTV relies on the support of our loyal readers (and video viewers) to keep providing the news and commentary that matter to the American people, not just stories that prop up the liberal agenda.

Make a donation today. Just $15 a month would make a tremendous impact and enable us to keeping shining the light where the liberal media are afraid to tread.

The MRCTV Team

Connect

Sign up for our MRCTV newsletter to receive the latest news.

See original here:
Texas Group Says Abortions are 'Magical' and a Form of 'Self-Care' - MRCTV

I do not agree that selfish is a four-letter word ... Sarah Knight. Photograph: Alfredo Esteban Morales

Fuck seems to have been the word weve all needed to hear. As in, stop giving a fuck, calm the fuck down, say fuck, no: all sentiments at the heart of every self-help book published since the genre exploded. But where these books were once determinedly optimistic and outwardly focused on goals such as making money and influencing people, they now assume the voice of your bluntest friend, one who is not afraid to curse while telling you how it is.

Self-help has turned sweary, and no one has made being blue a bigger part of their brand than Sarah Knight, author of the five No Fucks Given Guides, most recently Fuck No!. The series, which started with the 2015 bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, has sold more than 2m copies worldwide and ushered in a new wave of tough-love tomes, such as The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson and Gary John Bishops Unfuck Yourself each bestsellers themselves.

Pragmatic, profane, irreverent, it is self-help for people who dont like self-help, says Knight, 41, a former book editor who credits Jen Sincero with starting the trend with You Are a Badass back in 2013. The appeal, Knight suggests, is because readers have these pent-up feelings that they felt they couldnt express, and we are helping them channel them.

Knights debut was intended as an affectionate parody of Marie Kondos 2011 tidying bible, persuasively subtitled, How to stop spending time you dont have with people you dont like doing things you dont want to do. (Baby showers, for Knight, are a particular sticking point.)

The desire to say no to care less is already there, says Knight; her books just give readers permission to act on it, like throwing a lit match on gasoline. Thats been the catalyst for them to go forth and feel liberated, and live lives that they want to live Im really preaching what I consider to be common sense, as someone who has done it and Im here to tell them that it works.

In 2009, Knight was a senior editor at Random House in New York and had just signed Gillian Flynns Gone Girl when she suffered her first panic attack, passing out in front of her coworkers. It spurred what she remembers now as a watershed time of re-evaluation and reckoning, and a clinical diagnosis of anxiety, which eventually led to her giving up her 15-year career in publishing and relocating with her husband to the Caribbean.

Im getting messages daily from teenagers, saying I loved your book, its making me think about what I want to do with my life'

There was this very stark contrast between the success that I was having on paper, and the nadir of my emotional, mental and physical health and wellbeing, Knight says now, via Skype from her new home in the Dominican Republic. The fact that they were happening at the same time [gave] me clarity: OK, obviously this really hardcore pursuit of success is damaging me in other ways. How do I balance it out?

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, bringing together the lessons of what Knight terms her great personal and professional meltdown, was published just six months after Knight finally quit her job. The book has since sold more than half a million copies, with Knights own trade of the rat race for a tropical island a big selling point. Such literal escape may not be possible for everyone both Knight and her husband Judd can work remotely, and they are happily child-free but the spirit of no fucks given behind it is, she says.

Im getting messages daily from people as young as 14, 15 years old, saying I loved your book, its making me think about what I want to do with my life, and from people in their 60s and 70s saying I wish Id adopted this life philosophy sooner, she says.

She summarises her philosophy, explored over five books, as take care of yourself first: granting yourself permission to say no, free from anxiety or guilt. Her method works to reduce mental clutter in the same way that Kondos removed it from the home, creating space for joy. Policing ones personal boundaries gets easier with practice, she says. I do not agree that selfish is a four-letter word, even though it gets treated like that in our society and I know quite a bit about four-letter words.

Some people do need to be told to prioritise their health and happiness as much as they do their career or, in the case of caregivers, other peoples, says Knight. And for an older generation, they just didnt ever know it was allowed they werent raised in a culture that promoted personal wellbeing.

Today we have arguably over-corrected, with the modern preoccupation with wellness which Knight agrees her work taps into reflecting widespread unease with the impact of technology, work-life imbalance and unstable employment on our health. But she suggests that anxiety and burnout may not be more prevalent today than in the past we might just understand them better. At the very least, were talking about them more, so it may make them feel more present.

Knight is upfront that she is not a doctor or therapist, but even a strategy as simple as what she terms the no-and-switch (politely declining, with a preferred alternative) might still help some. Having the opportunity to read a $20 book and get some really good suggestions, if you cant afford $2,000 in therapy, can only help. She readily admits that many of the techniques in her books are just cognitive behavioural therapy, dressed up in sweary language but I also take medication, and Im not ashamed of that.

But Knights advice, while sensible at the individual level, sits uneasily against a global backdrop of inequality and climate change that can only be tackled collectively. Are more people thinking only of themselves really what the world needs?

Im not trying to raise a generation of sociopaths, or say that all you should do is look out for number one, because you wont have a good life that way either, she says. It is possible to prioritise ones own needs without hurting others, or at least without it hurting someone else more than it helps you.

Say you refuse an invitation to a dinner party: Yes, you are disappointing your friend. However, if you have terrible social anxiety or a really demanding job, and you simply cannot be out until 10 at night, guzzling white wine on a Wednesday it would hurt you more to say yes, than it hurts them for you to say no, Knight says. She calls it being self-ish: a kind of risk-benefit analysis that takes others needs into account to an extent. On the flipside, I think that other people have to be a little bit less sensitive about me not coming to their dinner party.

She puts down the failures of political leaders in the US and the UK to greed. To me, thats not what being selfish is thats the root of all evil. Knight is unequivocal in her disgust at the egocentrism on display among politicians; in Fuck No!, she writes that her aim is to destigmatise the act of saying nyet as in, No, I wont accept foreign interference in this election.

There is also a mini-chapter in Fuck No! on sexual consent, empowering women to say no for any reason they like. It took Knight 30 years to learn this lesson herself, in which time she had sex with awful people, wasted time and compromised her individual ethics with regrettable yeses.

Noes beget noes, with more positive consequences than negative. You have to be able to communicate your boundaries. Otherwise, you are not going to be happy. Its not just no, I dont want to come to your open mic night, its no to your parents, your siblings, your lover, your children, Knight says. We all have to be able to do it a little bit better. Theres no point in walking around feeling resentful, obligated and guilty while doing things we dont want to do.

It is a reminder that the personal is political. Though Knights philosophy may seem obvious, women still socialised to put others first are more likely to benefit from it. She agrees that her books have a feminist bent, but says that her imagined reader is her younger self.

Dont wait as long as I did. I just wish I had known all this stuff 20 years ago Im constantly reminding myself of my own advice, says Knight. Does she swear at herself, too? I do.

Fuck No! by Sarah Knight is published by Quercus.

Read more from the original source:
Hate baby showers and dinner parties? Sarah Knight wants you to say no - The Guardian