Examining a jealousy that’s a long way from the green-eyed monster – The Japan Times
Posted: November 2, 2019 at 5:50 pm
Comparison is a very foolish attitude, said Indian mystic Chandra Mohan Jain, popularly known as Osho (1931-90), because each person is unique and incomparable. Once this understanding settles in you, jealousy disappears.
It may be true, but the fact seems to be that this understanding settles in very few of us, and jealousy, as a shaper of character and social relations, is here to stay, barring a mass movement toward mysticism nowhere on the horizon at present.
Everyone knows the biblical stories of the jealous God and the first murder by Cain, jealous of the favor God showed his brother, Abel. One of the biblical Ten Commandments forbids covetousness, which in Buddhism is one of the three evils, together with anger and delusion.
But can we help ourselves? The business magazine President this month surveys 1,000 respondents, men and women, aged from their 20s to their 60s, and computes an average jealousy ratio of 42 percent, pretty much constant across the age and gender spectrum. What exactly this ratio means is not clear that nearly half of us are jealous? That were all jealous nearly half the time? Or is it a measure of the intensity of our jealousy when its aroused? Interpretation is at the readers discretion. The point is, its out there. Is it in you? You know best.
Its in the animals. Its in birds, President hears from psychological counselor Shinrai Oshima. Young birds fling helpless infant siblings out of the nest to their death. They will not share parental attention; they will have it all and no moral delicacy hold them back, as it would most of us. Presumably the parents are forgiving. Evolution would have stamped the practice out otherwise.
Love filial, parental, erotic is a demanding passion. Blighting its finer qualities is its possessiveness. Were not as different from baby birds as we like to think. Love shared is love threatened. Its our instinctive fear of solitude, Oshima says, that makes us feel that way. Today the pursuit of success has largely replaced the pursuit of love, and jealousy has evolved accordingly. How can I be content with my success if you my friend, my colleague, my child, someone I read about in the newspaper are more successful than I am?
Success has many symbols: an expensive foreign car, a luxurious house, money in the bank, friends in high places, a crowded social calendar, good looks and so on. All, according to President, arouse jealousy varying degrees of it in various people, but the upshot is that all these things symbolize superiority, and we all want to be, or seem, superior, whatever lip service we pay to equality. Stanford University research confirms it and even quantifies it: Men on average feel 22 percent superior to the average person.
Maybe thats good for us. Oshima says jealousy flows from the hippocampus, a region of the brain associated with learning. It energizes us, goads us onward against lethargy and discouragement. Maybe the more jealous we are the more talented, or vice versa. Certainly talent attracts jealousy parental jealousy of bright children; bosses jealousy of subordinates who outshine them. Its not a rule, but almost anyones life will provide anecdotal evidence.
Jealousy is shared by men and women, old and young (children are outside Presidents purview) but there are differences. Male jealousy, testosterone-driven, tends to be aroused by income, productivity, luxury and other symbols of successful competition. Women focus more on relationships: Shes more popular than I am, gets invited to more parties, gets on better with the boss; why was she invited to that office drinking party (which I didnt want to go to anyway) and not me? Women no longer depend on men as they once did, but age-old impulses die hard, and this one, says Oshima, is rooted in the primordial female search for a mate.
Expensive foreign cars who cares about them? Older men, mostly. Their jealousy can still be aroused at the sight of this preeminent status symbol of their youth. Todays youth, less car-driven, have other concerns: likes on social media; clothes that are photogenic on social media. Not that older people are indifferent to clothes. Its the generation in between that is, relatively. Fashion is back, after a 20-year span in which it counted for little.
Theres jealousy and jealousy. President, without defining the term, deals with its most benign form envy. Shedding it would no doubt make us better people leading more wholesome lives. Still, Presidents jealousy is a long way from Shakespeares green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on. Shakespeares Othello was a man in love; Presidents survey respondents are comparatively unimpassioned men and women making their way in the workaday world, forever wanting a little more than they have as who, Osho notwithstanding, does not, in an economy stressing upward mobility?
We can only rise so high. Theres always someone richer, more powerful, better connected, better loved. Each person is unique and incomparable, said Osho; poverty, therefore, is as much an asset as wealth, once the understanding settles. Brutus magazine this month offers a suggestion conducive to that understanding: tea ceremony. Its an ancient Japanese pastime, excruciatingly formal to despisers of formality, soothingly ritualistic to the more favorably inclined. It can settle the understanding, says tea master Yuriko Ishida. Concentrating your consciousness on tea, you leave worldly thoughts behind; a moment encompasses eternity. I like that feeling, she adds, disarmingly.
Jealousy is the worldliest of thoughts feelings, rather. It has no place in the tea room. A century ago, writer and art critic Kakuzo Okakura (1863-1913), in The Book of Tea, invited the samurai to leave his sword on the rack beneath the eaves, the tea room being preeminently the house of peace. Then he will bend low and creep into the room through a small door not more than 3 feet in height. This proceeding was incumbent on all guests, high and low alike, and was intended to inculcate humility in whose light jealousy withers, if it ever does.
Big in Japan is a weekly column that focuses on issues being discussed by domestic media organizations. Michael Hoffmans latest book is an essay collection titled Fuji, Sinai, Olympos.
Go here to read the rest:
Examining a jealousy that's a long way from the green-eyed monster - The Japan Times
- The banality of good morning posts and our positivity fixation - Mint - November 10th, 2020
- Reflections on Zen Practice Now and What Comes Next - Patheos - November 10th, 2020
- Creating a safe space to speak - Free Press Journal - November 10th, 2020
- Line of Duty's Arnott, Fleming and Hastings unite to tackle bent coppers in behind-the-scenes pic - RadioTimes - November 10th, 2020
- Manbeena Sandhu: Ma Anand Sheela is still the queen of her kingdom - The Indian Express - October 11th, 2020
- 5 arrivals, 14 exits - every Reading FC transfer in and out this summer - Berkshire Live - October 11th, 2020
- Books of the week: From An Anthology on Climate Change to Kalpish Ratnas A Crown of Thorns, our picks - Firstpost - October 11th, 2020
- Sunday Long Reads: Of coding, Gandhis assassination, Louise Glcks best books, and more - The Indian Express - October 11th, 2020
- Line Of Duty: Adrian Dunbar dances with Vicky McClure and Martin Compston - Metro.co.uk - October 9th, 2020
- Applications are On for the 2021/2022 AIG Scholarships for Blavatnik School of Government, University of Oxfor - BellaNaija - October 9th, 2020
- What Akshaye Khanna said about Vinod Khanna leaving family for Osho: Something must have moved him... - Hindustan Times - October 8th, 2020
- When Ma Anand Sheela met Indira Gandhi to talk of land woes and Oshos ashram - ThePrint - September 23rd, 2020
- First Look At The New Season Of Line Of Duty Has Been Released - Balls.ie - September 12th, 2020
- An Evening with Osho - The New Leam - August 31st, 2020
- Mickey Mehtas 10 commandments of wellness - Hindustan Times - August 31st, 2020
- Could a return to primal living help us live longer and healthier lives? - woman&home - August 31st, 2020
- Tuesday's Reading FC transfer news as Osho wanted by Royals' rivals and target Mendes told to leave Sporting - Berkshire Live - August 14th, 2020
- Priyanka Chopra on staying connected with family during pandemic: There have been lot of Zoom calls,... - Hindustan Times - August 14th, 2020
- Sachy introduced me to Osho: Amala Paul - Times of India - June 22nd, 2020
- Blast from the past: When Parveen Babi suddenly joined Kabir Bedi in Italy - Filmfare - June 3rd, 2020
- On Vinod Khannas 3rd death anniversary, a look at how joining Osho became the most defining moment... - Hindustan Times - April 29th, 2020
- Amala Paul: 'When she is not even free of one pregnancy, the husband is ready to make her pregnant again' - International Business Times, India... - April 29th, 2020
- Poem of the week: The New Divan by Edwin Morgan - The Guardian - April 29th, 2020
- Surviving COVID-19: What We Learned from Seun O's Interview with Elizabeth Osho - BellaNaija - April 26th, 2020
- The secret of everlasting happiness this is how you can find the key! - Times Now - April 13th, 2020
- German woman found living in cop's cottage without information, FIR registered - Udaipur Kiran - April 13th, 2020
- Exclusive- Radhika Madan on quarantine, upcoming projects and more - Filmfare - April 13th, 2020
- Loved Tiger King? Watch these 5 similar shows on Netflix to keep the momentum going - GQ India - April 6th, 2020
- Looking for a Bitcoin Halving Payday? Tamp Expectations - CoinDesk - April 6th, 2020
- Town Stages Announces 2020 Fellows and Residents - American Theatre - April 6th, 2020
- Finished Tiger King? 7 shows you should watch next on Netflix and Amazon Prime - TechRadar - April 6th, 2020
- Coronavirus vs nostalgia: Escaping the epidemic on a magic carpet with Nukkad, Ram, Tintin and Tendulkar - Firstpost - April 6th, 2020
- Is Trance inspired by Osho? Writer of the Fahadh Faasil starrer clears the air - Republic World - Republic World - February 25th, 2020
- Line of Duty series 6: Everything we know, from BBC release date, new cast members to H theories - The Independent - February 25th, 2020
- Enyimba will thread with caution away to San Pedro - Osho - Latest Sports News In Nigeria - Brila - February 3rd, 2020
- Ma Anand Sheela Talks To Neha Dhupia On Working For Osho: There Is A Certain Spirituality In Criminality - Koimoi - February 3rd, 2020
- Nederland resident imagineers a veterans' ownership village - The Mountain -Ear - January 27th, 2020
- Enyimbas Afelokhai, five others return to training - The Nation Newspaper - January 11th, 2020
- Anand Sheela interview: It is time people know the real me - Scroll.in - December 29th, 2019
- A historic and cultural glimpse into Pune, from the lap of luxury - Indulgexpress - December 29th, 2019
- Chesterfield 1 v 2 Yeovil Town: Spireites lose again and defender Will Evans plays as makeshift goalkeeper for last half an hour - Derbyshire Times - December 11th, 2019
- 11/21/19 Blotter - SRU The Online Rocket - November 25th, 2019
- Goalkeeper top priority for Reading FC in transfer window, say fans - Get Reading - November 25th, 2019
- 'Bikram: Yogi, Guru, Predator': Netflix documentary charts the rise of an empire through systematic abuse by a - MEAWW - November 25th, 2019
- A Rejoinder to Makinde: Let the Real Work Start - P.M. News - November 25th, 2019
- New report offers analysis on the Travel Agency Software Market - Space Market Research - November 25th, 2019
- Just exhale with the sound, Oooooo! - Economic Times - November 19th, 2019
- Steve Ewen: Unbeaten Knights warned to fear the Rams in high school football playoffs - The Province - November 19th, 2019
- Ipswich Town taking a look at Reading defender - The 72 - We Love the Football League - November 2nd, 2019
- Alia Bhatt may have rejected Aamir Khans Osho movie because she was committed to Salman Khans Inshallah,... - Hindustan Times - October 27th, 2019
- Osho takes five in STM win - Burnaby Now - October 25th, 2019
- Exclusive: Deepika Padukone to team up with Karan Johar for her next, directed by Shakun Batra - Bollywood Bubble - October 24th, 2019
- Oshos controversial aide Ma Anand Sheela recounts how the guru loved her, explained Umrao Jaans poetry... - Hindustan Times - October 20th, 2019
- The sensuous art of eating and drinking - Economic Times - October 18th, 2019
- Osho Biography | Biography Online - June 20th, 2019
- Andi Osho - Wikipedia - May 26th, 2019
- Osho (Author of Courage) - Goodreads - February 20th, 2019
- Osho | Enlightened Beings - December 26th, 2018
- Osho - Spiritual teachers - Google Sites - December 1st, 2018
- 250 Osho Quotes on Love, Life and Meditation | Sunil Daman - November 23rd, 2018
- All You Need to Know About Osho, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh in ... - November 22nd, 2018
- Osho - amazon.com - November 12th, 2018
- Osho Radio on the App Store - iTunes - Apple - October 15th, 2018
- OSHO: There Is No Goal - October 15th, 2018
- Osho books - amazon.com - August 18th, 2018
- OSHO: Life Is A Very Mysterious Phenomenon - YouTube - August 2nd, 2018
- OSHO: Being In Love - YouTube - July 2nd, 2018
- 15 Quotes By Osho That Will Touch Your Heart & Make You ... - June 26th, 2018
- 52 Best Osho Quotes on Love, Life and Fear with Images - June 26th, 2018
- Osho Meditation Atlanta (Atlanta, GA) | Meetup - June 26th, 2018
- Wild Wild Country: The wild Osho cult seen through ... - June 26th, 2018
- Osho: About Osho - April 28th, 2018
- Osho Stories | Stories told by Osho, my Beloved master - February 23rd, 2018
- Visit | OSHO | Meditation - Mindfulness and the Science of ... - January 24th, 2018
- Noahs Ark Of Consciousness - HogueProphecy.com - December 20th, 2017
- Osho Rajneesh Biography - Thefamouspeople.com - December 12th, 2017
- OSHO: Meaning and Versatility of the word FUCK | Spiritual ... - December 10th, 2017
- 31 Amazing Osho Quotes That Will Set You Ablaze | Spirit Button - December 10th, 2017
- 15 Quotes By Osho That Will Touch Your Heart & Make You Think ... - December 7th, 2017
- 13 Deep Osho Quotes That'll Make You Re-Think Love, Freedom ... - November 27th, 2017