Life Coaching: Learning To Ask For Help

Posted: February 13, 2012 at 2:06 am

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Every day we rely on others for their help. From the dentist to the teacher, the farmer to the construction worker, we rely on our community to help us in countless ways. Why then, when we are struggling, is it often so hard to ask for help?

By species we are designed to cohabitate and to live in harmony with our world around us. Yet thousands of people each day are feeling alone, isolated in fear, pain, sadness and low self-esteem.

Perhaps you were taught that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Perhaps you feel burdensome to others by asking for their assistance. Then there are the times that we don't know what help we really need so we sit in the dark trying to figure out what to do, feeling too ashamed, exposed, foolish or vulnerable to reach out and seek guidance.

Countless studies and examples from history extol the benefits of teamwork over individual accomplishments. We are more creative, more effective and more powerful when we unite forces. That same principle applies in times of personal need; connecting with others can help you face fear, overcome obstacles and find a new perspective. Whether struggling with finances or family issues, physical or mental health, we can find strength in developing partnerships. Be it a free clinic, a financial advisor, life coach, friend, support group, teacher, self-help book or inspirational website, whatever method works for you, there are people out there ready and willing to help.

When you go about your day today notice all the ways you rely on others to help you. Then take a good look at places where you've been resisting help and ask yourself, what are you resisting? What are you gaining by going it alone? What fears show up for you when you imagine asking someone to help you? Don't let your fear or pride keep you playing small. Don't let your fear or pride hold you back from receiving help and reaching back to those around you that are offering. People are sincere in their offering and often feel delighted that you will take them up on it. It's a way you give to them, too.

Still feel hesitant? Grab a pencil and jot down a list of all the places you could use a little help today. Brainstorm the people you think could be helpful. Pick one off the list, take a deep breath...and ask for help.

[Kim Tapper, ACC, CPCC. For more information, visit]


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Life Coaching: Learning To Ask For Help

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February 13th, 2012 at 2:06 am

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