How-to Dad: Being a parent is easy compared to being an All Blacks coach – Stuff.co.nz

Posted: November 23, 2019 at 8:49 pm


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CHECKPOINT/RNZ

There are 26 in the race, all Kiwis, and four among the favourites - no it's not the Melbourne Cup, but the race to become the next All Blacks coach.

OPINION:I'm at the kids' athletics day.

There's big pressure for them to perform and I know all eyes are on me. There is a lot on the line here.

I've done all I can. I can't run the race for them butI've taught them all my secrets.

I've trained them for hours and hours in the back yard but now this is the big stage. The big time. All I can do is watch and cheer. That's it. It's all up to them.

READ MORE: *How-to Dad: My British roots are haunting me *My name is Jordan and I'm a closethoarder * 25 coaches NZ Rugby likely approached for the top job

HANNAH PETERS/GETTY IMAGES

Pity the new All Blacks coach, they have a tough job ahead, writes Jordan Watson. (Steve Hansen pictured with assistant coach Ian Foster.)

Three third places.They're not happy, the crowd is furious and all fingers point at me.Before I can even catch my breath the kids have found a new dad.

That's how it would be if being a dad was like being a rugby coach.Holy crap, do they have it hard.

Some would say that the more difficult challenge lies before the new All Blacks' coach selection committee.Pffft,that's easy. Whoever they choose won't affect them. Instead, cameras will point at and dissect this new coach straight away.

As soon as their name is read out they'll feel the full force of a New Zealand rugby mad front row.They'll be fighting for the next four years, trying not to crumble under the immense pressure.

Us dads have it easy.Your job is easy.Compared to these international coaches life is easy.

Imagine if your end of year performance review at your accounting/building/bank/farming job put you in third place.You'd be pretty darn proud and your job would be safe. Only you and your employer would know the results and that would be that.

Now tear down the four walls of your working environment and replace them with pointingfingers, couch commentators, headline-hunting reporters and 4.5 million opinions on your terrible third place performance.That's the world of an international rugby coach.

LAWRENCE SMITH/STUFF

I have 2.2 million followers but they're generally kind if I skip a video, writes Jordan Watson.

No thanks, not for me.

Imagine if I didn't push the swing high enough?Or if Iforgot to pack the school book bag. What if I burn the kids dinner!?I'd be out.

Some of you will argue, 'oh yeah, but they get a good pay packet.'

Yeah they probably do, but that big bag of dosh doesn't make that 24/7 scrutiny go away.

It's funny that here in little old New Zealand our rugby coaches are more famous than our 'celebs'. They get more air time, more interviews, more heat and more trolls than our best celebrities combined.

I have 2.2 million followers around the world and am expected to deliver a comedic video every week.

If I dare skip a week ..people are generally kind. The people watching my sport of 'Dad videos' don't have the same rage bubbling in their veins. They are not so quick to judge.

The All Blacks coaching boots are bloody massive boots to fill.

And whether it be the surfy looking blonde guy or Foster the older bloke let's give them a fair go, yeah? Restrain your Facebook typing fingers, bite your cursing tongue and just be grateful the whole nation isn't watching your every move.

Sunday Star Times

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November 23rd, 2019 at 8:49 pm

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