Pray, what be the most curious of casualties of New Year season?

Nah, we arent alluding to the balderdash being belted out by the Blokes of Breaking News. The toll of two cities.

Talking tolls and tales, as is customary, Season 2022 rings in its share of curtain-raisers. And again, curtains of social distancing.

Ah, but did you notice, on New Year, theres one thing thats a conspicuous casualty of the coronascape? Like life itself.

New Year resolutions.

Nobody diligently does them in the New Normal, like before, do they?

Blame it on pandemics not taking too kindly to resolutions. Pandemics are possessed with a nasty habit of meddling with expiry dates. Of New Year resolutions (NYRs), as also of those deigning to dabble in them.

The Pandemic, perhaps, has spawned a new vocabulary that could best be or better be described as New Year Non-Resolution.

A state of vacillation that entails eyebrows shooting heavenwards at the stroke of midnight hour, like a million fireworks saluting the skyscape, petitioning for enlightenment from the galaxy of Gods, about whether or not we would survive 2022 Toll Lists to be bothered with trifles like NYR Long Lists or Short Lists.

Of New Year Hit Lists and With-It Lists

This Post New Normal vocabulary denotes all demeanour defined by the dilemma: To do or not to do what we were wont to do - New Year Resolution Hit Lists, With-It Lists, Miss Lists, Dismiss Lists, Consolation Lists or Disconsolation Lists.

The Pandemic has indeed robbed us of the days when New Year resolutions stood scripted more religiously than Amarnath Yatras or Ayodhya andolans. Never mind, if NYRs proved as fickle as our political coalitions or Donald Trumps Twitter renditions. Whether it was passionate pledges to quit smoking or saving crash diet plans from ending in smoke, pre-pandemic, there was spelt out a resolution for every reason, every season. Alas, the treason of this season has robbed us of many a reason.

This new narrative of New Year Non-Resolution thus tosses up tormenting thoughts:

To join or not to join power yoga to empower fitness quotient. For, one knows not whether one would end up learning the likes of shirshasana or end up in a position bearing uncanny resemblance to shavasana.

To give up or not to give up vices catastrophic for curves, such as splurging on sinful Double Trouble Donuts. For, one scarce can figure out whats ordained by the Covid curve, whether it will be Death by Chocolate or Death by Delta.

Of bad hair days and being in bad books

To sport or not to sport makeovers to better bad-hair days in 2022, like a hair transplant or hair sauna from that neighbourhood Chinese hairdresser. First, not to forget that all things Chinese are to be blamed for the Covid spate. Second, not to forget the Third Wave could render inconsequential follicular fate, scarce would it matter whether one exits the stage sporting curly waves or a bald pate.

The curious case of hair today, gone tomorrow.

This New Year Non-Resolution narrative can be a boon or bane, depending on whos at the receiving end.

How about a New Year resolution to devote more time to textbooks than texting? mummy-hood egged on ones Millennial at the dawn of 2022. Running the risk of further being in bad books.

Cmon, havent you heard Third Wave prophesies? the Millennial glared up from Zoom, to gurgle gyaan as a prophet of doom. Come Omicron, what matters more is one book - how to book a berth in a Covid centre!

New Year resolutions shall never be the same, it did dawn.

The curious case of the untimely demise of a New Year tradition, by book or by crook.

chetnakeer@yahoo.com

Read this article:
Witerati | Of third waves and New Year second thoughts - Hindustan Times