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Archive for the ‘Zig Ziglar’ Category

The Art of Making Good Decisions – Thrive Global

Posted: October 20, 2019 at 9:38 am


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Youre sitting down at a table, and theres a long row of dominoes lined up before you. You push down the first tile. You watch, as it slowly falls over. You let it drop. You let it recklessly topple all of the dominoes that follow, one by one. After a couple of seconds, youve got them all.

This little scenario perfectly sums up the simple logic behind decision-making:

You make your decision, whatever that may be, and a chain reaction follows, an iron link of unexpected events. Unexpected events that never would have happened had you played your cards differently earlier on.

This is what we callThe Butterfly Effect. Simply put, the butterfly effect is the idea the small changes can cause bigger changes to happen.

If your parents never met, you wouldnt be sitting here reading my article, for example.

Life itself is a chain reaction, a long list of decisions. You graduate from secondary school and straight off the bat youre told you have to choose a degree. And then bye bye, youre off to University. Though, of course, when you graduate University the decisions dont finish there. Oh, no. You then have to choose the right career to pursue.

Decisions wait for you behind every door:

Should you buy the house or just rent it?

Is it time for a career change?

Are you in love with her/him?

Will you marry that person?

Do you want to have children?

Life is a long list of decisions.

The world wont end just because you made one poor error in judgement. Weve all been friendly with stupid decisions in the past. We all slip up and make mistakes. Ill admit Im guilty, too. Hey, Im only human, and so are you.

Making the wrong decision is not so much the problem; hiding away from your duty and yourresponsibilityto make decisions is the real issue. No good can come out of that.

Hiding away from decisions is the simple way out. Its easy to run. Its easy to wrap up all of your priorities in a box and dump them under your bed, where they can never see the light of day.

But, theres only one slight problem with that way of thinking:

If you dont call the shots in your own life, youll be living life by default. Its as Zig Ziglar once said:

Making a big life change is pretty scary. But know whats even scarier? Regret.

So were left with two options:

Option A:

To live by default, sitting in the passenger, letting life drag us along for the ride.

Or

Option B:

To master our own fates and to take the responsibility of our lives into our own hands.

Has anyone ever told you this before: Why not take a leap of faith?

You only live once. Seize the day. Follow your heart. People love to say that last one a lot.

Following your heart is all very well, but its equally wise that you follow your wits, too.

Reckless decisions are decisions that are fuelled only by ambition and emotion.

So when you see an advert promising you that you can earn 3500 a day from dog-sitting, you should perhaps think things through before rushing out and quitting your 9 to 5.

Theres no need to make quick-fire decisions. Waiting is good. Nothings wrong with taking time to reflect before cannon-balling yourself into the deep end.

Solitude is the best environment for reflection. The silence can help you to reflect. On your goals, on your mental well-being and on the ways that you want to better yourself. Simply put, solitude can help you learn more about yourself.

Dont take my word for it. You should give it a try someday.

Set aside a few minutes, every now and then. Silence your electronics. You may want to head out for an early morning stroll in the park, or you may just want to think from the comfort of your own bed. Whatever floats your boat.

Use that time to ask yourself this question:

What is it that I want from this life?

Do you have an answer?

Well done, if you do. Dont worry, if you dont. Lifeisabout finding the answer, after all. Once youve cracked the answer, you then have to ask yourself:

How will I cross the bridge from where I am now to where I want to be? How will I reach what I want from life?

Ill be the first to admit that Im a fan of motivational quotes. Cant get enough of them. One of my personal favourites is Sylvester Stallones signature:

It aint about how hard you can hit: its about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.

Quotes like these are the bread and butter of what it means to challenge the status quo and to push on above the limits. To live with passion. Passion is good. And so is wit.

Passion is what will inspire you to dream those big ideas. Wit is what will help you to turn those big ideas from fantasy to reality.

Without passion, we chain ourselves to limits. We lose drive, we lose energy and we lose the spirit needed to challenge the status quo.

Without wit, we become too friendly with stupid decisions.

Ideally, there should be an equal balance of wit and passion in our decisions.

As a general rule of thumb:

Passion + wit = seriously cant go wrong

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The Art of Making Good Decisions - Thrive Global

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October 20th, 2019 at 9:38 am

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Pastors need to be encouraged – The Baptist Message

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By Steve Horn

And Sauls son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him findstrengthin God.(1 Samuel 23:16 NIV)

When I accepted the position of Executive Director for Louisiana Baptists, I made this promise:

Pastors will be encouraged.Churches are essential to our work, and spiritually healthy pastors are essential to healthy churches. I have been a pastor of four churches. Each church was a different size and had different strengths and weaknesses, but all required hard work. I want to encourage pastors through public ministry to them and private friendship with them to be all that God has called them to be. This will be my daily prayer, daily goal, and daily evaluation.

Years ago, I heard the Christian motivation speaker Zig Ziglar speak. The only thing I remember him saying is, Who motivates the motivator?

We could adjust the words slightly to say, Who encourages the encourager? Who preaches to the preacher? Who ministers to the minister? Who counsels the counselor? Who pastors the pastor?

Your pastor needs all of this. We all need a Jonathan to come alongside of us to help us find strength in God.

My friend Scott, at the time a doctoral student at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, was taking his written examinations. Written examinationsa grueling three-day test of perseveranceoccur half-way through the doctoral program. This three-day period can be a very lonely experience. Another friend of ours knew that Scott was taking these tests. He arranged with the professor to put a note in Scotts test packet. The note simply read, Scott, heres a dollar. When you have your break today, buy a soda on me. Im praying for you.

That story has always reminded me that encouragement does not have to be expensive, just thoughtful and intentional.

I pray that all of us find meaningful ways to encourage our pastors this month.

Steve Horn is executive director for Louisiana Baptists. This editorial first appeared on his blog.

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Pastors need to be encouraged - The Baptist Message

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October 20th, 2019 at 9:38 am

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7 Books Everyone On Your Team Should Read – Forbes

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Start reading...

When you work in an office, why keep all the great information to yourself? That would be like finding an incredible restaurant around the corner office and never mentioning it to your colleagues as a lunch possibility. Youd never do that. In the same vein, when you read a book that changes the way you think, give everyone in your office a copy (or at least text them a link to its online description).

Whether youre spearheading an executive book club or looking for works to inspire your staffs creativity, youll appreciate these messages in these books. Each offers a different bent, allowing you to springboard conversations and rev up your teams collective idea machine.

Author Academy Elite

Does it seem as if everyone you know is crazy busy? Dont assume the world has to run on caffeine, energy bars and sheer willpower. As Garland Vance argues inGetting (un)Busy, people often can accomplish more if they switch from high to low gear. If the members of your team have been moving at lightning speed, encourage them to slow down and smell the copy paper. Theyll regain both their breath and their passion. Im becoming a believer in the efficacy of un and will practice it more frequently by unplugging, unfretting and unbusying.

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LIoncrest

At your next meeting, ask your coworkers to describe what your brand means. Not what you sell or a rundown of your operations manual, but the purpose behind your products or services. Chances are good everyone will be tongue-tied. Thats when youll be glad you can shareStand for Somethingwith them. Brian Burkhart superbly justifies why we need to take a standwhatever that means to our businessesto earn devotees. Im stirred by this challenge and eager to dig deeper into my businesss brand identity with my colleagues.

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Post Hill Press

Sometimes we all just need to stop overanalyzing everything. That can be hard in this data-driven age, but Michael Fanuele persuasively argues that magical inspiration rarely comes via scheduled brainstorming exercises. Rather, it appears suddenly in the form of a hovering musical lick or snippet of lyrics, both destined to top the charts and revolutionize a generation.Stop Making Sensemakes all the sense in the world; Im excited to free my mind and allow for untold possibilities. If your team has been stuck, help team members find their muses with this page-turner.

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Sound Wisdom

InGoals, sales genius Zig Ziglar unpacks a no-brainer truism: Being successful involves taking the first step. While taking action sounds easy, its not. If it were, everyone would reach all their goalsyet few teams are in that boat. This book outlines how to lay out goals and see them to fruition. To be honest, I have a few dreams that have lingered too long at the to-do list stage. This book serves as a reminder that I need to make a concrete plan to accomplish them.

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Get SMart books

Its hard not to focus purely on data points. We all get mesmerized by numbers, especially on social media. Pat Flynn demonstrates why teams need to find and cultivate individual superfansand not just collect likes and followers. By grooming diehard advocates, businesses can experience explosive growth. Superfans dont just come knocking, though; They must be wooed carefully by organizations that actually care enough to foster deep, symbiotic business-buyer relationships. After readingSuperfans, Im eager to talk to my team about ways we can uncover, develop and assist our strongest supporters.

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St. Martin's Griffin

Have you focused your teams professional development on the art of persuasion and the science of storytelling? After readingFive Stars, youll see how valuable it can be if everyone on your team understands how to sell their ideas more effectively. This book definitely belongs on your teams read and discuss list. I personally think it could be the basis for a long-term workplace training series. In any event, its inspired me to ensure that my employees and clients develop their communication skills to become five-star, confident influencers.

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Cloud Rider Publishing

Lets face it: We give lots of lip service to balancing our personal and professional lives. But what we usually end up doing is pouring our energies into developing our careers. Only then do we plug family time into the remaining slots in our schedules. Cory Carlson illustrates why that type of thinking can lead to overall job dissatisfaction and general unhappiness. He makes the case for putting home on par with the officeabove it, even. Ill be keeping this message in mind so I can better model for my team what true work-life balance should be.

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7 Books Everyone On Your Team Should Read - Forbes

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October 20th, 2019 at 9:38 am

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7 Things You Absolutely Must Do If You Want To Be Respected – Forbes

Posted: October 8, 2019 at 6:45 am


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Respect means a lot to all of us. This is how you can get more of it.

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The renowned Aretha Franklin sung about it, but everyone and I do mean everyone wants some of it. We want respect in our personal lives and in our professional lives as well. We want to be appreciated for the work we do and to get proper recognition for our contributions. When our colleagues respect us, they take us more seriously and view us as professionals who get things done in the right way while applying professional standards and ethics. If you want to be respected more by your boss, your staff or your colleagues, you absolutely must do these seven things consistently.

1. Apologize for what you get wrong but not for who you are or what you accomplish.

By all means, dont apologize excessively. Doing so might cause people to see you as inferior, especially when your inclination is to automatically apologize to others for not only the stuff you get wrong but for the stuff they get wrong too.

In no way am I recommending that you neglect to take ownership of your mistakes or the mistakes of your team. That is what weak leaders are known to do. Instead, I posit that strong leaders answer for their teams actions and their own actions by taking full responsibility for mistakes, and they are respected much more for doing so. But dont apologize for things that you have no control over, things outside your authority or for the things that make you who you are.

Apologize for being rude or arriving late to a meeting but not for another persons discomfort with your identity, professionalism, competence or expertise. Apologize for disrespecting or discounting someone else but not for setting performance standards and holding people accountable. Apologize for a process, service or quality failure, but never apologize for being confident, assertive or successful.

2. Have the audacity to point out whats not working and the diligence to propose methods that will.

If you are the resident fault-finder on the team, no one will like or respect you. While it is very important to highlight mistakes, flaws and areas for improvement, it is equally if not more important to add your ideas, recommendations and methods to the mix. People respect problem solvers and solution finders more than complainers.

To gain more respect, demonstrate your ability to be a strategic thinker and offer up thoughtful and comprehensive proposals with solutions. When you have the courage to not only point out what is wrong but also stand behind it with a well-thought proposal for how to make it better, you gain more respect. Even if people dont fully accept your proposal, they will respect you for providing one. It shows that you are truly invested in making things better, and you will gain a reputation for generating ideas, solving problems and improving processes.

3. Treat other people the way they want to be treated rather than the way you want to be treated.

Although well intentioned, the Golden Rule principle falls short. The Golden Rule suggests that we treat others the way we want to be treated. A better approach is to treat others the way they want to be treated. This is called the Platinum Rule, and it considers that when dealing with other people, it is best to try to make it about them. Focus on what they need and what they care about to the extent possible.

When you treat others the way you want to be treated, they might view you as arrogant and overly presumptuous. Think about it. How can we just decide that other people want to be treated the same way we want to be treated? Who gives us the right to presume that?

Youll gain more respect when you make it about other people. Another way to do this is to simply respect them. Regardless of position titles or status, find a way to show you value and appreciate the maintenance worker who cleans the bathrooms as much as you appreciate the chief executive. When you make it about other people and elevate their needs and concerns, they will elevate you and come to respect you more.

4. Ask more questions and remain open to new ideas.

In case you were wondering, people really dont like know-it-alls. If you go around diminishing others while acting like you have a monopoly on bright ideas, the best expertise or the best solutions, you will be disliked. People will respect you less because they dont feel you value their ideas or expertise.

A better strategy would be to show people that you are open to learn new things and think differently about processes. This will get you further than you will ever get by touting your expertise, college degrees or how much experience you have. In todays society, your ability to learn, unlearn, ask great questions and learn some more is truly valued, and this will garner you more respect with your colleagues.

5. Make your needs a priority, and deal with conflict even when its uncomfortable.

People respect people who respect themselves and value their own needs. When you avoid conflict, you send a message that your needs are inferior to anothers. When you do it excessively, people come to expect that you will certainly accommodate and prioritize their needs over your own.

There are five different conflict styles (collaborating, compromising, competing, accommodating and avoiding), and each style has a time and place for its suitability though we are inclined to lean on one or two styles more frequently. It is okay to sometimes avoid conflict, but if you tend to avoid it even when issues beg to be addressed, you become part of the problem. By being a reliable conflict avoider or accommodator, others become less and less interested in meeting your needs, and they lose respect for you.

Regardless of which conflict style you prefer, you have to get comfortable applying other styles when necessary. Go ahead and apply the collaborative style and even the competitive style when you need to fight or advocate for your needs or the needs of your team. As people see that you are adept with flexing between the styles, they will come to respect you more.

6. Be courageous enough to ask for help and invite critique from others.

Let go of the kind of thinking that says that only weak people need other people. Thats false. Strong people have the courage to admit they need help from other people. They have the courage to allow others to provide assistance. When you ask for help, you show your strength. You show that you are indeed confident in your abilities and have the willingness and courage to accept guidance. You show others that you dont believe yourself to be superior to those around you, and you create opportunities for others to contribute to your development.

Respected leaders seek opportunities to develop themselves and others. Let others help and advise you along the way. People will respect you more when they see that you welcome critique and feedback. Even when you might not really need the help, you can still benefit from asking for it. You will garner more respect just for creating opportunities for others to flex their intellectual or creative muscles more often!

7. Do the right thing even when it will cost more than you want to pay.

I learned a long time ago that an ounce of dishonesty will have far more impact on whether people respect me than a pound of accomplishment ever will. A lot of people get lost here. No advice about how to gain respect would be complete without a category on integrity and ethics.

Ethics is about how we meet the challenge of doing the right thing when that will cost more than we want to pay. -The Josephson Institute of Ethics

We can respect people even if we disagree with them, and we can respect people we dont even like. But you would be hard pressed to find someone who will tell you that they respect people they dont trust or cant count on to use good judgment to make ethically sound decisions especially when those decisions run counter to their own interests.

If you care about garnering more respect, you absolutely must commit to a set of professional standards that reflect high levels of integrity and ethics. Zig Ziglar said the most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity. Hes so right. Ethical leaders have integrity and work to bridge the ethical dilemma gap and build distinguishable standards for behavior. They then hold themselves and others across the organization accountable.

I know youve got this.

Just take a hard look at your behaviors and assess whether your actions may be diminishing the respect you garner from others. People advance professionally for many reasons, and commanding respect is certainly one of them. Make the necessary modifications to your own behavior so that you can gain more respect from your colleagues, your staff and your boss. The results will be reflected in positive and tangible ways that advance your career as well as your professional standing.

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7 Things You Absolutely Must Do If You Want To Be Respected - Forbes

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October 8th, 2019 at 6:45 am

Posted in Zig Ziglar

How the Best Leaders Motivate Others on a Daily Basis – BBN Times

Posted: October 2, 2019 at 4:41 am


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Your employees are the lifeblood of your business. Their engagement, motivation, and efforthelpdrive your results, and quite often, they are thepotential future leadersof your company.

However, even when you providemeaningful work opportunities, there is no denying that the day to day grind can wear down on you and your team. Burnout is now recognized as an officialmedical diagnosisby the World Health Organization, and it can rapidly deplete your team's productivity.

In other situations, your team may need some extra motivation for taking on a daunting challenge. As Zig Ziglar famously said:

As a leader, you have the responsibility to energize your team and help them get motivated to be at their best.

The good news is that boosting your employees' enthusiasm isn't necessarily as hard -- or time-consuming -- as you might expect.

Mantrasmay only be a few words long, but they can have a powerful motivating impact. After studying great leaders different industries, it's clear they tap into the power of them to help motivate their team. I refer to these inBuilding the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Others to Successas "Maximizing Mantras." A maximizing mantra provides energy to the team even before you achieve the results. With just a few words, you create the inspirational drive that helps inspire future successes.

One of the most recent (and well-known) maximizing mantras was college football coach P.J. Fleck's "Row the Boat," that helped bring the previously overlooked Western Michigan football team into the limelight with a winning record and a spot in the 2017 Cotton Bowl. The mantra has come to define the coach and his teams, even after he moved to a new job at the University of Minnesota.

In an interviewwith MLive, Fleck explained that the mantra referred to three parts: the oar, which provided the energy, the boat, which represented the sacrifices that team members, administration and fans were willing to make for the program, and finally, the compass, which symbolized the direction the team wanted to go. Combining all these ideas into a single phrase served as a powerful motivator for the team.

When you find short, simple phrases that encapsulate big ideas, you can quickly inspire your team to work harder and with more intensity than they've ever had before.

Since you lead a team at work, there is a good chance; not everyone is motivated by the same things. For some, all it takes is the almighty dollar, and for others, it could be public praise and recognition.

The best leaders know why their people get out of bed in the morning and continuously look to leverage those personal motivations to reach higher levels of performance.

If you are going to motivate your entire team daily, it's critical you have a clear goal. But not just any goal; one that has a clear objective + completion date + carrot. The most important part here is the carrot because the carrot is something your teammates will benefit from once the goal is achieved.

Sometimes, your employees just need to have fun. Giving your team a way to blow off their stress can help them feel re-energized and better equipped for the challenges coming their way.Exercise is a phenomenal way to do this.

For example, I received an unusual tip from Cody Neer, founder of eCommerce Brand Academy, during a recent conversation about his team of 50 employees.

His company relies extensively on remote teams, but this can limit communication. To address this, he does a live Zoom video exercise challenge with his team after lunch. Together, they'll do ab planks (or something similar) to get blood flowing and have a laugh. This keeps everyone engaged and connected while eliminating the productivity lull that often occurs after lunch.

While strange, studies have proven this might not be a bad idea-- as the Wellness Council of Americanotes,excess stress increases absenteeism and turnover, while also hurting workers' productivity and overall health. Giving your team unique opportunities to relieve that stress will help mitigate these common issues while also getting those activity trackers on their Apple watches moving a positive direction.

Energizing and motivating your team isn't something that consistently happens in strategy meetings or one on one performance evaluations. It happens in the small things you do each week to help foster a positive, forward-thinking culture. By taking a little time out of your schedule to use these unique motivational tactics, you can give your team the drive they need to succeed.

What's Your Leadership Style?Join over 40k leaders and discover how well you are leveraging love and discipline as a leader and find out your current leadership style forfree.

Preorder the Book:Building the Best: 8 Proven Leadership Principles to Elevate Others to Successis being published by McGraw-Hill and is due out November 15th. Preorder today and receive over $200 in gifts including the first two chapters immediately, Acts of Accountability Online Course, and a live webinar taught by John.

About the Author:John Eadesis the CEO of LearnLoft, a leadership development company which exists to turn managers into leaders and create healthier places to work. John was named one of LinkedIns 2017 Top Voices in Management & Workplace and was awarded the 2017 Readership Award by Training Industry.com. John is also the host of the Follow My Lead Podcast, a show that transfers stories and best practices from todays leaders to the leaders of tomorrow. You follow him on instagram@johngeades.

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How the Best Leaders Motivate Others on a Daily Basis - BBN Times

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October 2nd, 2019 at 4:41 am

Posted in Zig Ziglar

FROM THE BLEACHERS: Expressing appreciation most rewarding gift – Herald-Banner

Posted: September 29, 2019 at 5:41 pm


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When was the last time you expressed your appreciation to someone? Expressing appreciation from the heart is one of most rewarding gifts. Yet, words of appreciation seem to be hard for people to say.

I have always wondered why it is hard for bosses to tell people within an organization they are appreciated. When people do not hear appreciation, they begin to wonder about their worth.

I am fortunate to work with folks continually sharing their appreciation. This attitude of appreciation starts at the top of an organization. It is amazing how much is accomplished when people feel and demonstrate appreciation.

A simple act of kindness can make all the difference in another persons life. However, society many times, view words of kindness as sissy or fake. It takes a bigger person to say thank you, express genuine appreciation, than it does to speak negative.

The Bible teaches us that it is better to give than to receive. Giving gifts and saying thank you, expresses appreciation. The joy is in giving, although I have viewed a couple bosses giving gifts, writing notes and saying kind words only because they wanted to receive something in return.

These kind of people are found out over time and have difficulty developing a cohesive team of comrades. Zig Ziglar in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People talks about the fake boss. Employees can usually tell if the gesture of kindness is genuine or not.

Appreciation can also be shown by helping others. Sincere appreciation comes from the heart. Sacrificing time to help someone when they are in need demonstrates sincerity.

When people continually help comrades even when the task is not their assignment is a genuine act of appreciation. This is action demonstrating appreciation. Again, this starts at the top and true appreciation is continually demonstrated in the workplace.

This reminds me of a story of a begging blind boy and a kind man that was passing by. The blind boy was sitting on a street corner with a sign, saying he was blind and needed help. As a man was passing by, he stopped and donated some coins in the boys almost empty bucket.

He also took the boys sign and wrote some words on the backside. He put the sign in front of the boy so everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up with lots of money. A lot more people were now giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the wording on the sign came to see how things were going for the boy. The boy recognized his footsteps and inquired if he was the person who wrote something on his sign. The man confessed he changed the wording but left the same meaning.

He explained his sign explained the boy was blind but in a much different way. The new words said the day was beautiful, but the boy could not see it. Both signs told people the boy was blind.

However, the second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Isnt it a blessing to have people help you in life? I encourage each of us to tell people around us how much we appreciate them.

Thought for the week:

Be thankful for what you have; youll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you dont have, you will never, ever have enough.

Oprah Winfrey

Dr. Jack Welch has been a college and high school coach for 38 years. He can be reached at jackwelch1975@gmail.com.

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FROM THE BLEACHERS: Expressing appreciation most rewarding gift - Herald-Banner

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September 29th, 2019 at 5:41 pm

Posted in Zig Ziglar

How to write a book that sparks a movement, with Dina Dwyer-Owens and Chaya Weiner – Thrive Global

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Seeing and hearing examples of people who have begun making decisions based on their values has been the most rewarding outcome of people reading my books. A great example of this includes a CPA who, after realizing her business partners were not willing to commit to values-guided leadership in their shared practice, had the courage to leave to begin her own business with values at the core ofit.

As part of my series about How to write a book that sparks a movement I had the great pleasure of interviewing Dina Dwyer-Owens, Brand Ambassador of Neighborly (formerly Dwyer Group), the worlds largest franchisor of home services with 22 brands under its parent company umbrella. America also knows her for participating in CBSs Emmy-winning hit reality show Undercover Boss. Dina is a certified franchise executive with more than 35 years of industry experience, 15 years as CEO of Dwyer Group. Dina is the author of two books: Live R.I.C.H. and Values, Inc. that both share her global message for living and leading with a proven code of values (books available for purchase at Values-INC.com).

Thank you so much for joining us Dina! Can you share the backstory about how you grew up?

Before the company I serve as Brand Ambassador for was known as Neighborly, it was originally founded by my father, the late Don Dwyer Sr., as the Dwyer Group. It started much smaller than it is now, but my father always envisioned a company that would specialize in buying and building related businesses that would provide high-quality residential and light commercial services.

So, I literally grew up working in the business long before our company became the global holding company it is today. By age 13, I was learning all about sales and customer service at a car wash my father owned. From there I went on to work in almost every aspect of our familys home services company. From cleaning carpets to franchise sales, I learned by doing.

After my fathers unexpected passing in 1994, I was elected by our public company board of directors as acting CEO of the company until they were sure I was the right leader for the job (at the time, many of our top franchisees did not see me as the best fit for permanent CEO of the company since I was a woman, and we work in a male-dominated industry).

Within six months, and with an amazing and supportive team of talented people, I had proven myself as a leader and went on to serve 15 years as CEO of the Dwyer Group, now Neighborly. In that time, I relaunched VetFran (a program designed to help veterans pursue franchise ownership), I was honored to be the second woman ever to serve as Chair of the International Franchise Association, I made two appearances as a boss on the CBS hit reality show Undercover Boss, and I wrote two books: Live R.I.C.H. and Values, Inc., both of which share my global message for living and leading with a proven code of values.

When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story?

I like to think that I was one of the earlier adopters of audiobooks, before they were really such a popular thing. Rather than reading a lot of books that inspired me at a young age, it was the motivational cassettes, featuring role models such as Zig Ziglar, Stephen Covey, and Ken Blanchard, that really made an impact on my own leadership journey.

But as I got older, the book that has resonated with me the most over the years is Lead Like Jesus by Ken Blanchard. Regardless of your beliefs, this is a book that is all about servant leadership: Seeking opportunities to serve and support others through the authority you have as a leader.

What was the moment or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?

Neighborlys company culture was built on a very clear set of values that my father identified from day one: the Code of Values. The code was a collection of his beliefsinspired by the works of great leaders of business, the military, and religionthat he grew to live by and intended for our company to abide by as well.

When my father died, our company was determined to make sure his legacy lived on by sticking to these values. In order to make them an integral and consistent part of the business model across all of our franchise brands, we came up with the idea of the operationalized code: Live R.I.C.H. The four key areas that make up this code today are Respect, Integrity, Customer focus, and Having fun in the process. 14 key values make up each of these areas, setting standards for how we conduct ourselves in business.

Over time, I saw the impact this Live R.I.C.H. mantra was making on our business. The way we conducted business was a strong selling point among our various stakeholders, ultimately enhancing the value of our company in a way that was more than just cultural, but also financial. I did not intend to keep this revelation that Values create Value$ to myself, and what better way to spread a message than through a book?

In 2005, I published my first book, Live R.I.C.H., to begin spreading the message of the benefits of living and leading with clear values. It was not long before I found a deep recurring connection with readers who had a desire to grow that same values-based culture and message in both their professional and personal lives. This encouraged me to graduate my message to the next level in my next book, Values, Inc., which was named a Forbes Top 10 Business Book in 2015.

What impact did you hope to make when you wrote this book?

As I started to recognize the positive impact our operational and measurable values were having on my own organization, I started to envision the possibility of such an impact being widespread across businesses all over the world. Imagine how much good could come from all companiesregardless of size, industry, or locationadopting and applying their own sets of values to business? In a perfect world, this is the ultimate goal of sharing my message of values-guided leadership. But ultimately, if even one individual or one business can benefit from incorporating a standard set of values in their professional and personal lives, then I feel like Ive accomplished something important.

Did the actual results align with your expectations? Can you explain?

The results actually far exceeded my expectations. Even though I would have been pleased if my message positively impacted just one person, it appears that it effectively reached many more. Ive been asked to speak at a number of events, and I receive personal messages on a regular basis from people who have positively benefitted from incorporating values into their own daily routines. It makes me especially happy to know that people who have started doing this have not stopped at the professional level, but rather they have brought these operationalized standards into their homes, developing specific sets of values for their families to abide by in their personal lives as well.

What moment let you know that your book had started a movement? Please share a story.

Shortly after Values, Inc. was published, I was contacted by a young man in college who read the book. He shared with me that it helped him gain clarity of his values, and he planned to start applying what he learned to how he handled his leadership roles across the multiple campus organizations he was involved with.

What kinds of things did you hear right away from readers? What are the most frequent things you hear from readers about your book now? Are they the same? Different?

From the very start, I had readers contacting me to tell me that the book did a great job of demonstrating how values truly can translate into financial results, and this is the type of feedback I continue to receive to this day. Other responses I receive on a regular basis include people expressing appreciation both for the care that leading with values demonstrates as well as for how values-guided leadership helps to clarify workplace expectations.

Over time, another piece of feedback that has started coming up more often is a question of how employees can encourage the companies they work for to start applying values-guided leadership, even when those employees are not in executive leadership roles themselves. In response to this, I encourage people to buy copies of my books for their bosses, and to then offer to serve as the companys champion of values to help the company implement them in daily practices.

What is the most moving or fulfilling experience youve had as a result of writing this book? Can you share a story?

Seeing and hearing examples of people who have begun making decisions based on their values has been the most rewarding outcome of people reading my books. A great example of this includes a CPA who, after realizing her business partners were not willing to commit to values-guided leadership in their shared practice, had the courage to leave to begin her own business with values at the core of it.

Have you experienced anything negative? Do you feel there are drawbacks to writing a book that starts such colossal conversation and change?

From sharing the message of my books with audiences far and wide, I eventually came to the realization that my message is sometimes difficult for people to hear. After noticing a contrast between my audiences that were fired up about the message and those that seemed almost somber about it, I eventually came to the realization that the difference between these audiences has been how ready they are to take accountability.

But still, I do not believe there are any drawbacks in writing a book geared toward inspiring a movement. While most may not take the action to put my recommended practice in place, those who do will cause a positive ripple effect in the lives of those they touch.

Can you articulate why you think books in particular have the power to create movements, revolutions, and true change?

Books are powerful tools for helping people envision their hopes and dreams. Reading allows our imaginations to let loose so that we see the world around us in a different way. When we read about ways we can improve our lives and the lives of those we surround ourselves with, we start to actually visualize the potential outcomes of these efforts, motivating us to strive for them in real life.

What is the one habit you believe contributed the most to you becoming a bestselling writer? (i.e. perseverance, discipline, play, craft study) Can you share a story or example?

While I am far from perfect, I consider it my duty to practice what I preach as closely as possible. I often joke that people probably get sick of hearing me recite Neighborlys original Code of Values or going on about the importance of clarifying our values as much as I do (There goes the crazy values lady again!). But what kind of leader would I be if I were not constantly searching for the next opportunity to teach the lessons I write about in my books? I strongly feel that if I did not 100% believe in the messages I share with others, then no one else would believe in them either, and then whats the point? I like to think that my passion for values-guided leadership comes across clearly in every interaction I have, whether its speaking to people in a crowd from a stage, through my words on paper, or even just in the daily interactions I have with strangers.

What challenge or failure did you learn the most from in your writing career? Can you share the lesson(s) that you learned?

I actually do not consider myself a particularly great writer. The messages I want to convey are clear in my mind but putting them into words on paper does not come as easily to me. In reality, I probably would not have two books published today were it not for the skilled writers who helped me organize my thoughts into cohesive works.

Coming to the realization that writing wasnt my forte taught me a valuable life lesson: In life, while we may not be great at everything, we do have the option of combining our skills and talents with others who excel in the areas where we are lacking. I learned to accept that it was okay for me to secure help from those who were especially skilled at making my words come to life. Between my good ideas and experiences and their strong writing abilities, we created the perfect formula for a good book.

Many aspiring authors would love to make an impact similar to what you have done. What are the 3 things writers needs to know if they want to spark a movement with a book? (please include a story or example for each)

1. Be honest with your readers about who you really areIt is tempting when youre writing a book to paint yourself in as positive of a light as possible in an effort to assure your readers that youre a credible source. In reality, readers prefer for an author to be relatable, which may sometimes mean being brutally honest about your imperfections. A reader doesnt want to take advice from someone who has been perfect since day one; they want to know how youve made mistakes and faced challenges, and what those instances of adversity taught you to make you the thought leader you are today.

2. Provide specific examplesRelate any advice you give or insight you share to your own personal experiences. Not only will this provide anecdotal evidence for why others should trust that your guidance is applicable to real-life circumstances, but it also helps readers visualize the value in what youre sharing.

3. Try to put yourself in others shoes so you can understand the variety of ways in which your message will be perceivedAs you write, have conversations with people from different backgrounds with different experiences to determine how your insight could be applicable to their respective journeys.

The world, of course, needs progress in many areas. What movement do you hope someone (or you!) starts next? Can you explain why that is so important?

Id love to see a movement begin with a focus on cheer leadership. In my role as Brand Ambassador, a.k.a. head cheerleader, for Neighborly, Ive seen firsthand how much it motivates people to know that someone believes in them and is willing to cheer them on to achieving their full potentials. We need to see more of this from todays leaders!

How can our readers follow you on social media?

You can find me on all of the major social media platforms! Here are my handles:

Twitter: @DinaDwyerOwens

Facebook: @DinaDwyerOwens

Instagram: @dina_dwyerowens

LinkedIn: Dina Dwyer-Owens

Thank you so much for these insights. It was a true pleasure to do this with you.

About the author:

Chaya Weiner is the Director of branding and photography at Authority Magazines Thought Leader Incubator. TLI is a thought leadership program that helps leaders establish a brand as a trusted authority in their field. Please click HERE to learn more about Thought Leader Incubator.

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How to write a book that sparks a movement, with Dina Dwyer-Owens and Chaya Weiner - Thrive Global

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September 29th, 2019 at 5:41 pm

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The upside of sowing intrigues and confusion – The Manila Times

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REY ELBO

IN the book Improvisation, Inc. (2000), author Robert Lowe talks about how to deal with confusion and how to accept it as part and parcel of our life. He says the best way is to accept it, then to relax into it, and allow it to be part of the natural process of organization and reorganization.

If youre following the current events in this country, youll readily understand what Im talking about the countrys national confusion. This includes how a spokesman interprets many controversial presidential statements and other related things.

But lets forget politics and limit ourselves to business management. To manage confusion in our respective organization, Lowe suggests several practical exercises we could try: Make a list of things you could do to place yourself into confusion, without placing yourself in danger. For example, walking around with your eyes closed in a safe place, perhaps with a guide. Attend a meeting of an opposing political party. Attend a function with an age group that is twenty-five years older or younger than you are.

The list can be endless depending on your own creativity. As an armchair reader and writer, I focused on identifying many SM (stupid management) practices, explained them on social media via a one-page visual story under the Elbonomics brand, as I enjoyed exchanging various comments with people. Take the following intriguing statements that gained many likes from people and resistance from less than one percent of rebels without a cause:

One, we dont need motivational speakers. Thats because motivating people is job number one for line supervisors and managers. You cant delegate it to external motivational speakers, no matter how good they are in public speaking and entertaining people. The much-revered motivational speaker Zig Ziglar (1926-2012) admitted that motivating people is like taking a bath.

We need it daily from our respective bosses. Thats why people managers must do a daily face-to-face interaction with their workers which cannot be done by motivational speakers through several hours of one-time engagement.

Two, exit interviews are an exercise in futility. Its a reactive communication process. Its too late for management to seek the reason why their workers are resigning. They should have done that a long time ago through a series of proactive stay interviews that include an important question like: How can I help you succeed in your career in this organization?

But more than that, who would want to burn the bridge with their past employers? Who among resigned employees would badmouth their bosses as they wait for the release of their terminal pay, clearance, completion of background checks and in the hope of coming back should their new employer fail to satisfy their expectations?

Three, talkative managers are unqualified to govern. If the boss talks too much, its not helpful towards a successful work relationship with people. Hijalmar Gislason in his Forbes article Dont Be the Boss Who Talks Too Much recommends that managers must make it two-way and engage the workers by asking their opinion in an ad hoc set-up, and not in a formal meeting that tends to clamp people.

As you hold meetings, keep tabs on how much time you spend talking, and how much listening. And when you get a question, sometimes invite other team members to weigh in as part of the answer. That way, everyone is included and feels that their input is valued. Undoubtedly, managers to become effective, must do active listening by asking a lot of questions instead.

Four, the perfect attendance award is a sham. Why reward and recognize people who are expected to report for work daily and on-time? Sure, its a positive reinforcement approach. But thats not the point. Would it be better if management spends its valuable time in monitoring, recording, and rewarding actual, tangible results by the workers instead of their physical presence in the workplace?

Not only that, it is too tedious and time-consuming for management to do things that are unnecessary. To find out if your award is working or not, discover how many employees in the perfect attendance list have consistently logged in an above-average work performance. You may be in a big surprise.

Five, problem workers are created by problem managers. Its a derivative of the many ideas of influential management thinker Peter Drucker (1909-2005) who claimed: So much of what we know about management consists of making it difficult for people to work. Why blame management? Thats because they have the authority to do almost everything from planning, organizing, leading to controlling.

American management genius W. Edwards Deming (1990-1993) was right: A bad system can beat a good person all the time. That is, if that person continues to be blind and oblivious to all the bad systems and procedures around him.

And so, what kind of person could come up with a valid argument to demolish the above statements? I cant think of no one, except those who refuse to admit their mistakes. Then lets leave it at that. After all, how can we persuade people who dont want to be persuaded?

Lowe says confusion is a relative of fearthat it can also lead to hostility or aggressiveness, to calcification of our ideas. Thats the way it goes if only wed like to understand the world. Thats the benefit of sowing intrigues and confusion that hopes to strengthen the foundation of our perspectives.

Rey Elbo is a business consultant specializing in human resources and total quality management as a fused interest. Send feedback to elbonomics@gmail.com or via https://reyelbo.consulting

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The upside of sowing intrigues and confusion - The Manila Times

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September 29th, 2019 at 5:41 pm

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Zuriel Oduwole: Discovering the Star early in your child – Guardian

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When we refuse to accept children the way they have been wired, we kill them subtly by trying to turn them to something else. We must help children to find, discover and express themselves, instead of trying to change them.

Prudence Kohl said: The search for self-worth begins by finding what is indestructible inside, then letting it be.When we tamper with the way people are designed and wired, we ultimately set them on the journey of identity crisis.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld said: We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves. Parents should avoid the temptation of forcing their children to fit into their own design, but rather provide them with a platform to stand out with their uniqueness.

Zuriel Elise Oduwole is an American education advocate and filmmaker, best known for her works on the advocacy for the education of girls in Africa. Born in July 2002 in California, United States, to a Nigerian father and a Mauritian mother, she is home-schooled and her advocacy has since made her, in the summer of 2013, at the age of 10, the youngest person to be profiled by Forbes.

In November 2014, at age 12, Zuriel became the worlds youngest filmmaker to have a self-produced and self-edited work screened. After her film showed in two movie chains, it then went on to show in Ghana, England, South Africa and Japan.

She has met with 30 Presidents and Prime Ministers in line with her education advocacy work, including leaders of Jamaica, Nigeria, Kenya, Tanzania, Malawi, Liberia, South Sudan, Malta, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Guyana and Namibia. She has also appeared in popular television stations, including CNBC, Bloomberg TV, BBC and CNN.

In 2013, Zuriel was listed in the New African Magazines list of 100 Most Influential People. On April 21, 2014, she was listed as the most Powerful 11 year old in the world by New York Business Insiders in its listing of Worlds Most Powerful Person at Every Age.

In February 2015, Elle Magazine listed her in its yearly feature of 33 Women Who Changed The World. In December 2015, she formally launched her DUSUSU Foundation aimed at building partnerships with corporation and individuals to develop the education capabilities of children, especially the girl child, across the globe. She started filmmaking at age nine. Her education project for the girl-child kicked off at age 10. Today, at 17, Zuriel, an avowed girl-child empowerment advocate already has five films up her sleeves.

The secret of her breakthrough is in her parents ability to discover the star in her, while other children at that age were still struggling with their identities or being manipulated by their parents. If you wish to give your child an unusual edge in life, you would have to stick to the following.

Give Them A Platform To Be ThemselvesThe greatest gift parents can ever give to their children is to provide them with a platform to be themselves. Parents are meant to nurture the uniqueness in their wards. Allow them to make their own mistakes and learn from it. Be a good and empathic listener to your children. Do not dominate conversations when you are talking with your children. Give them the platform to express themselves.

We must allow our children to fully live and experience life. We must prepare them emotionally to live independently of us. Refusal to create a platform for their independency may cause them to cling to insecure anchors that are detrimental to their future.Help Them Nurture Their Gifts And Talents

Zuriel discovered her filmmaking talent at 9. Every child is uniquely gifted. Our work as parents is to nurture the individuality and uniqueness in our wards and not to beat them into the shape or picture we have in our minds. We are responsible, as parents, to help our children discover their gifts, unravel their hidden talents and help them fire up their passion. The world is in a dire need of kids that can solve problems with their gifts and talents. We have the responsibility to nurture their uniqueness.

Dont Allow Their Schooling To Hinder Their EducationMost of the skills that would help a child survive in life are not found in the classroom. Albert Einstein said: Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think. Most schools dont teach children to think or to be creative. Creativity and thinking skills are only found in the way a child interacts with lifes challenges and disappointments.

We must endeavour to give our children ample time to do other things that are not schools homework and assignment. Their vacation periods must not be studded with academic activities alone. Let them travel, learn a new skill, go to orphanage homes and do some volunteering activities.

Find A Mentor That Can Help ThemEvery child needs someone they can look up to. Children are in a dire need of models and mentors. Zig Ziglar said: A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could.

What a child would ultimately grow up to become is a deep reflection of the values passed down to him/her from the parents and mentors. Children dont need critics; they need models and mentors.

Give Them Exposure In Their Areas Of AbilitiesThe greatest form of disability is not knowing our abilities. We should discern our childrens areas of strength and their unique abilities and help them build it. We should give them the exposure that is needed in those areas. When we discover a childs ability early and help them build it, we give them a unique edge in life.

Monitor, Dont Manipulate ThemThe greatest parental sin and abuse is to manipulate our children to live a life that is not theirs. Many parents already have a script they want their wards to fit into for their own selfish interest. They obsessively try to control their children and dictate how they are supposed to live their lives. These parents want to live their lives through their children, neglecting the fact that those children have their own lives to live.As parents, we must prepare our children for their future, instead of using them to correct our own past.

Watch What You Say To Them In Their Formative YearsIt has been ascertained that the life of a child is fully formed from the words he or she hears between the ages of one and seven years. If there is something that exerts so much influence on children in their formative years, it is the words they hear. Many years after, these words would keep ringing in their heads.

Peggy O Mara said: Watch what you say, for the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. The worst kinds of parents are those that dont know how to use their tongue. Parents should avoid cursing and ridiculing words. Children will surely make mistakes; we all do. When we yell at children for making mistakes, we ultimately kill their ability to innovate.

Dont Skip Processes For ThemThe process validates the products. Dont help them skip difficult processes; it is actually part of what is meant to form them. You cannot help your child skip the basic process of life and expect him or her to live a fulfilling life. What many parents fail to realise is that the more we help our children avoid facing their own challenges, the more we make them unfit for the future.

Hellen Keller said: A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships. We need to have strong faith in the processes of evolution of our children. Parents must be mature enough to expose their children to life situations that would shape them for the future. A smooth sea never made a skilful sailor and every problem introduces a person to him/herself.

Parents who tend to dominate their childrens choices eventually produce obedient, but dependent children. We must encourage decision-making from an early age. We must subtly expose them to the risk of choices and consequences in life. We must raise our children in a way that promotes self-confidence, adaptability, self-respect and optimism. This way, we reduce their vulnerability.

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Zuriel Oduwole: Discovering the Star early in your child - Guardian

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September 29th, 2019 at 5:41 pm

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Children need to know that they are worthy with Aurora Bushner and Chaya Weiner – Thrive Global

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Children need to know that they are worthy. If parents, the ones who made them, do not spend time with them, it shows the child they arent worthy, and it will simply make the children take that feeling of unworthiness out into their life. It is simply the most damaging action a parent cando.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Aurora Bushner. Aurora is the Executive Vice President for Incentive Technology Group accountable for strategic leadership of the companys delivery and operations. She successfully established the delivery frameworks and practices for agile software development at scale for this unique, pure play digital consulting firm. With a focus on detail, accountability, quality, and transparency, she manages a workforce of over 400 people with an annual run rate of $100M delivering IT systems modernization and business transformation for government and commercial clients, all while balancing a blended family of 8 (her partner Toga, 19-year-old Mikayla, 13-year-old Ariana, 11-year-old Torrie, 8-year-old Aiden, 3-year-old Adam, and 1-year-old Alex). She holds a bachelors degree in Criminal Justice, Legal Studies from Marshall University where she was awarded the Criminal Justice Student of the Year and the Wallace E. Knight Writing Award. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her family, coaching rugby, and watching her children grow into themselves.

Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us your childhood backstory?

I was born in Yuma, Arizona and spent my childhood as an Army Brat. I moved every 13 years and had the great pleasure of living in Germany (I was there when the Berlin Wall came down!) and nine different states. Growing up with a military dad, it wasnt unusual for him to be deployed for significant amounts of time. In fact, we spent an entire year without him when he was deployed to the first Gulf War. Whenever he came home from a long stint away, we had our rituals that helped pull us together. I still remember being small and running to greet my dad at the door when he returned from work and fighting with my siblings to see who could unlace his military boots!

Whether my dad was home or deployed, my mom stayed home with us and created an environment where she was always present. As a family we camped, took long road trips driving for days, saw the world together, and experienced the magic of Christmas, Easter, and the tooth fairy. These traditions have been passed down to my children, and in these moments, I am fully present and create magic for them just as my mom and dad did for me.

Our house was the one that everyone gravitated towards, and although my parents were laid back and understanding, they were also strict. I think I spent most of 9th grade grounded and being called Cinderella by friends because of the huge amount of daily chores I had to do! One particular punishment I had was to write sentences like I will not talk back to my parents 1,000 times and could not go outside until I was finished. For more elaborate punishments that my parents would dish out, I would enlist my friends to divvy up my punishment. It was a great way to reflect and at the same time rally my peers to help me in my punishment! However, my parents got smart to my games and started assigning me 5 page book reports on books that werent even required in school. Of course, at the time, I didnt like the punishments, but the constructive discipline I received created a structure for me to perform and made me a self-starter who will do what it takes to get the job done. It also taught me problem-solving and how to do something right the first time. Believe me, my dad even checked the back of the sinks faucet to see if I had cleaned it. If not, I had to do it all again!

I was a shy child but very driven. Moving around all the time could have caused negative developmental issues, but for me, it actually helped me to hone resilience, embrace the fact that everyone has a choice on how they choose to view the world, and to lead a life of faith and gratitude. In 11th grade, I moved from Germany to Virginia leaving a junior class of 36 to join a junior class that numbered in the thousands. This really taught me to embrace change! Looking back, my childhood was pivotal in my development as a great parent and executive. I learned to multitask, solve problems creatively, appreciate teamwork (thanks to playing volleyball, soccer, track and field, and rugby!) and create a space that allows me to be fully present in both my work and my family today.

Growing up in a family whose values enabled us to each be an individual, chart our own path but have the comfort of knowing that no matter what I did, my family would be there for me, gave me the safety net required to take risks, fail, and find new opportunities for greatness.

Can you share the story about what brought you to this specific point in your career?

A lot of amazing mentors and colleagues brought me to this point in my career. For my entire life, I have been fortunate to be surrounded by very smart people from diverse backgrounds. Each person I have encountered has taught me something about myself, about the world, and about others. I started my career at IntelliDyne where I spent 13 years in various roles reinventing what I did every 1218 months and was lucky enough to be given the ropes to learn, to fail, to succeed and to lead. Doug Hardin, the first Program Manager I ever met, gave me the book Something to Smile About, by Zig Ziglar. Business was something I knew little about growing up in a military family, and the compilation of stories in Ziglars book provided a breadth of experiences and anecdotes for living a life of greatness. Scott Peterson, was my manager for several years and supported my drive and ambitious spirit in my early twenties by embracing my leadership style, and he supported me when my team sometimes found my young zest challenging. Moreover, he let me drive my career from a front desk administrator to a Senior Program Manager over several accounts because of my demonstration of competence while inspiring me to be my best. In 2013 I joined ITG. Working under the mentorship of Michelle Samad, I saw my career and our company flourish. Michelle is the epitome of a strong, humble, grateful, tenacious, inspirational leader, who operates with a personal touch, and is wicked smart, which enables our team to deliver against our corporate and family commitments.

I could not have made it to this point in my career without the support of my family and friends. My partner Toga, a pillar in my life and one of the biggest champions of my career, took care of the kids for the last eight years so that I could focus on my career. He raised our three sons from the time they were newborns once I returned to work. He ensured that the kids got to each practice, were picked up from school, and had dinner on the table. I also supported him in his role as a Rugby Coach for the Womens Premier League, the Capital Select, the Washington Irish, the Stars, and now support him as he supports the Major League Rugby team Old Glory. We would balance our schedule and external demands together. When Toga recently went back to work and my parents retired to Arizona, my sister stepped in to share the love and support and now helps shuttle the kids to their activities and is the nanny to our 1-year-old. She, too, is a gift which supports my professional success. In earlier years, my parents and our friends were also quick to step in to watch the kids when we both had work trips or needed our coveted once a year trip to Las Vegas to watch the International Rugby 7s tournament. I recently returned from a 10-day work trip. It really does take a village.

Can you tell us a bit more about what your day to day schedule looks like?

Although my schedule varies, I try to be consistent in some aspects. For example, every Saturday morning, I wake-up before the rest of my family and plan my schedule for the following week. And every night, I review my schedule and priorities for the following day. During the weekdays, my mornings usually start at 6 am (sometimes earlier though if I have some work to accomplish), and before heading to work, I take our 3-year-old and 13-year-old to school. Thankfully, there are some some days that I go into work a little later, so I also take our 8-year-old to school at 9 am. After drop-offs and as I head to work, Im usually on phone calls (safely, of course!) with my program managers trying to get caught up before I even step foot into the office. And if Im not on the phone with them, then I take a few relaxing minutes to listen to the radio or call my parents or siblings to catch up. Once I get to work, my days are always different; I may travel to a client site, conduct team meetings, give presentations, write proposals, work on deliverables, or just do a little of everything.

Work ends at various times also. Networking, team events, client meetings, and mentoring others all takes place and needs to be juggled with kids activities. Some days I might get home at 5 pm and can support daycare pick-ups, sports activities, dinner, bath time, Zumba with the kids, bedtime and work after they go to bed. Other days, I might get home at 10 pm. When work demands more and there is less time with the family during the week, the weekends are used to make up that time. And when work demands less, I can focus more on my family. What really makes my schedule work effectively is flexibility and a sense of humor. Sometimes things may seem hectic and rushed, so having a sense of humor is an absolute must!

Lets jump to the core of our discussion. This is probably intuitive to many, but it would be beneficial to spell it out. Based on your experience or research, can you flesh out why not spending time with your children can be detrimental to their development?

Spending time with ones child/children is critical for their development because it helps create stability and consistency in behaviors and attributes. Parents teach children how to interact with their world, how to be polite and have manners, how to share and have empathy, and how to be kind and resolve conflict. With the support and guidance from their parents, children establish their identity as a person, learn independence and self-care, and they discover their talents, their strengths, and their weaknesses. They learn values and social cues. They learn how to pretend, how to play, how to have conversations and how to build relationships. They learn structure through chores and how to contribute to the family and in turn to the community and society at large. When you dont make time, you dont know your childs skill level and ability, thus you wont know where to stretch them or how to push them to grow.

By not making time for ones children, it can be detrimental in advocating within areas where they may require extra support. They may seek attention through bad behavior; they may lack structure, becauselets face itif left alone they may play video games 24 hours a day! Without a parent or positive adult figure, children may have a tougher time becoming the person they are meant to be and applying their unique talents and skills to the world. In addition, it doesnt provide the opportunity to create a bond and that safe secure relationship with someone that children know will always be there. Im sure there are plenty of children who succeed in spite of absent parents, but I believe that children with a strong support systembe it parents, family members, friends, or communityhave a better chance at success beginning at a very young age.

On the flip side, can you give a few reasons or examples about why it is so important to make time to spend with your children?

This may be the shortest answer youve ever received but its quite simple. Children need to know that they are worthy. If parents, the ones who made them, do not spend time with them, it shows the child they arent worthy, and it will simply make the children take that feeling of unworthiness out into their life. It is simply the most damaging action a parent can do.

Children are constantly learning from their environments, from the people they interact with, and from their peers and families. Its important to spend time with your children for the sake of their development. Creating a strong bond with your child ensures your child has trusting relationships with adults and their peers. It creates a loving and caring relationship that withstands both the good in life and the bad. It creates stability, consistency, and enables you, as a parent, to teach your child values. Spending time with your children makes them feel valued, and it also ensures that they have an advocate. Its hard growing up and its even harder when a child faces developmental challenges, peer challenges, or identity challenges. Being present with children and ensuring consistency across all aspects of their life are keys to creating self-starters with an aptitude for success.

According to this study cited in the Washington Post, the quality of time spent with children is more important than the quantity of time. Can you give a 35 stories or examples from your own life about what you do to spend quality time with your children?

I totally agree that quality of time is more important than quantity of time. My dad travelled a lot, and I came to understand that it was never about the quantity of time I got to spend with him; it was all about the quality of time he spent with me. When my dad was gone, my mom always made his absence feel less sad by giving us special moments, such as letting us sleep in her room, which was never allowed when he was home. Both my parents taught me the importance of quality time, which I now ensure to pass onto my children.

We all live in a world with many deadlines and incessant demands for our time and attention. That inevitably makes us feel rushed and we may feel that we cant spare the time to be fully present with our children. Can you share with our readers 5 strategies about how we can create more space in our lives in order to give our children more quality attention?

How do you define a good parent? Can you give an example or story?

There are so many types of parents and approaches that work. Each child is unique even within the same family. I have six children and none of them are the same. A good parent creates a relationship with their child. They establish clear expectations and boundaries but also give room for a child to make their own choices and face their own consequences whether positive or negative. A good parent doesnt always have to entertain their child, but they do enable the child to find things to do that they enjoy. I think letting a kid be bored every now and again is good for their creativity because it assists in creating their self-drive and self-reflection. A good parent also creates an environment for them to succeed, to feel safe and loved, and to know that no matter what they face in life, their family will always have their back.

Using teachable moments and supporting a growth mindset is important. One day, we had a thunderstorm raging, and I came home from work to learn that Aiden and his bike were missing. To our horror, Toga found them down by the creek boogie boarding. Aiden didnt understand why this was dangerous, so we took the time to look at YouTube videos on flash floods with him and even had my friends talk to him about experiences that they had and the consequences that occur with that type of dangerous actions. A good parent doesnt just tell the child what they did wrong; instead, they tell the child why it was wrong to do.

A good parent figures out how to be flexible and find time for themselves while also making time for their family. My oldest daughter grew up with me during the the last two years I was in college, and my friends would read their biochemistry books to her while I attended classes. My job for the Center of Business and Economic Research allowed me to bring her while I stuffed envelopes for surveys. I had my first child at 20 and refused to accept that I would not graduate in four years while being a single parent, working 20 hours a week, returning to rugby six weeks after she was born, and developing a child who thought rugby was a womens sport. She had no idea boys even played rugby until she was eight.

Knowing my children through spending quality time with them and understanding fully development milestones enabled me to identify that my son had a speech delay and obtain the proper care for him. He is now blossoming, and although he has more work to do, had I not been present and identified signs to discuss with the pediatrician and advocate for his care, he would not have the immense vocabulary he has today.

A good parent creates structure and habits through consistency. They teach perseverance, grit, and hard work. Chores enable a child to feel accomplished but also feel part of a team. We all contribute to a family and as being a busy executive, its important for me to know my kids have learned how to do basic life taskswhat needs to be done and when. I also believe that I should help the kids with chores. On the weekend we can often be found scrubbing the walls, learning to clean a bathroom, vacuuming, and making it a race to see how we can get done with quality work but with fun! It supports the family unit. They learn that this is our house and we all have to take care of it.

Accepting each childs learning style and figuring out what motivates them is important to obtaining the best from them and enabling them to be whatever they want to be in this life. Without being present, a parent wont know their childs interests. Aiden did not like to read. He loved math and science, and we taught him his times tables in 1st grade and he excelled. At the beginning of 2nd grade, he was at a kindergarten reading level, so every day we made him read for 20 minutes, then 30 minutes, and we now set the time for an hour (maybe without him knowing). We learned that Aiden loves zombies, fantasy, and mysteries, so that what we encourage him to read because it holds his interest. Hes now super excited about reading Harry Potter, Nancy Drew, and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Through advocating at school and supporting him at home, he is reading at his current grade level and is slowly overcoming his challenges with words.

To summarize, being a good parent is supporting your children, but dont over-parent and protect them so much that they cannot survive without you. Parents need to build self-efficacy in their children. Parenting is leadership, and Sheryl Sandberg defines leadership well: Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.

How do you inspire your child to dream big? Can you give an example or story?

Mikayla, my oldest, has had a vast array of ambitions beginning at a very young age. She loves animals, science, cooking and baking. At 5-years-old, she told me she wanted to be an owner. After talking to her more about what that meant to her, she explained that she wanted to own a business. Pretty big dreams for a 5-year-old! In high school, she wanted to be a veterinarian and even took a class to be a veterinarian technician. Unfortunately, Mikayla has asthma and eczema, and a career caring for animals was not going to be in her future. So her attention went to a different subjectanatomy and science. Shes always challenged herself to do more even when I was concerned she took on too much. She has the drive to explore, imagine and dream! Going into college she thought about being an athletic trainer. I talked to her about the education required and challenged her to think bigger, especially with her interest in science and anatomy, so shes now looking at completing classes that give her the option to attend medical school or even focus on becoming a forensic psychologist. I believe supporting your child, leading through example, and helping them understand the characteristics it takes to be successful in life are essential in having your child dream big.

Embracing your childs strengths is important for their self-worth and also to help guide them to be whatever they want in life. Ariana loves sports, is a talented dancer, and enjoys helping people. She recently volunteered to teach children with disabilities to ride a bike and dance. It gave her such a sense of accomplishment that the child she was helping learned to ride a bike and to share her love of dancing. When she turns 14, she has been asked to help in the Acrobatics level I dance class. I will have to maneuver my schedule to support this, but its imperative to her development and showing her that she can have a career in the arts.

How do you, a person who masterfully straddles the worlds of career and family, define success?

Success is doing what I love every day: being able to spend time with my children that creates emotional responses that they will remember throughout their life. Success is creating an environment where my children have a growth mindset, learn the characteristics of hard work, grit, determination, perseverance, kindness, and believe in themselves. Being successful at work means being an authentic leader: building teams, delivering solutions that modernize the way work happens, knowing what needs to be done and who is the best person or team to perform the task. At home and work, its understanding priorities, limitations, accepting myself for who I am and what I can accomplish, and being resilient. In addition, success is demonstrating through my dedication at work and home that if I want something, I can achieve it. Success is also being able to co-parent with my step-daughters mother, especially in creating moments that as a blended family we are still family no matter the miles between us. It is supporting my daughters in their relationship with their extended family. Furthermore, success is exhibiting the values we find in Faa Samoa and applying it across all aspects of our lives. Weve been able to mix the culture and values I grew up with in America under the leadership of a military father and a loving mother with the living culture of Samoa, which is where Toga grew up. The values taught through Faa Samoa of Love, Respect, Generosity, Spirituality, Service, and Reciprocity, to name a few, are easily embraced and mirror the values of my childhood. Samoans are known as the Happy People, and laughter and jokes are ever present in our household, which is what I strive to have in my family. The traditional lifestyle revolves around family, so no matter how busy I may be in my career, my family is integral to that success. Success becomes not only what one is able to accomplish but is heavily rooted on how well the team performs. I have more emphasis on the team/community than on myself, and this starts at home.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a better parent? Can you explain why you like them?

Legacy by James Kerr is a brilliant book on building great teams and applying key leadership principles based on the worlds most successful sports team, the New Zealand All Blacks. Its practical lessons can be applied to ones homelife. Lessons include never being too big to do the smallest task, always doing what needs to be done without being asked, and constantly striving for improvement even when you are at your best. All these lessons are core aspects in my parenting style.

The Whole Brain Child by Dr. Dan Siegelwhich helps provide perspective on how a childs brain works and how to work with them in their development stage. This is very important raising six children who, for the most part, are always in a different stage.

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a great book on building relationships and learning how to motivate people both at work and in the home.

Defining Moments: When Managers Must Choose between Right and Right by Joseph L. Badaracco, Jr. is an interesting book as it digs deeper than some other business books, and I find it relates to leadership as much as it does parenting.

TED Talks. I know podcasts are in but I continually go back to TED Talks, which include short talks on everything a parent would want to know and from different perspectives. Sometimes reminding us that, yes, children need direction but just to back off a little bit and let the child breathe, and to sit and do nothing instead of rushing from one activity to another. Sometimes TED Talks gives a glimpse into ideas and topics that are brand new to me and I can dig deeper if I want. The talks are my standby when I feel frazzled and just need to concentrate on something light.

Can you please give us your favorite Life Lesson Quote? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Life gets pretty hard and being an executive, a partner, and a working mother of six means I need inspiration to draw from to reframe my mindset and stay positive. Sometimes things really hit the fan and life has to be taken in strides. I have several quotes that I have drawn on throughout my life. They help me reframe and focus on gratitude. Here they are in no particular order:

I embrace every day as an opportunity to be better than I was the day before. Some days I succeed and some days I fail. But, I always know that I will have more opportunities than not to figure it all out!

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

As I stated with my quotes, I would encourage others to realize that each morning you can be better than you were yesterday. Each day is an opportunity to do something great. If you were a smoker yesterday, you dont have to be today. If you were supposed to work out or walk yesterday and didnt, you can do it today. If you made a bad choice yesterday, you dont have to do so today. Everything is brand new if you see it that way. Make an intentional focus every day on at least one thing you really want to conquer, and youll soon see that this focus becomes habit, and that habit will move you forward until pretty soon youre accomplishing the goals you have set out to reach.

Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!

About the author:

Chaya Weiner is the Director of branding and photography at Authority Magazines Thought Leader Incubator. TLI is a thought leadership program that helps leaders establish a brand as a trusted authority in their field. Please click HERE to learn more about Thought Leader Incubator.

Read more:
Children need to know that they are worthy with Aurora Bushner and Chaya Weiner - Thrive Global

Written by admin

September 29th, 2019 at 5:41 pm

Posted in Zig Ziglar


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