Source: Nastasia Mora / Courtesy of Taylor Elyse Morrison

For Taylor Elyse Morrison, fitness is about a lot more than the physical; your ability to perform certain tasks of daily living or movements involved in work and sports to a certain level. Instead, she believes that in order to truly be fit, you need to be intentionally caring for all aspects of yourself, including the emotional and the mental. Of course, most group fitness classes out there only focus on getting you in good shape in terms of the body, and might throw in a mediation moment here and there to help you tap into the internal as a cool down, but the 26-year-old Chicago native wanted a class to focus on whats happening within us. When she initially started to prioritize her own self-care, it helped her look at the benefits of physical activity differently.

Ive been putting a lot of focus on self-care and listening to what my body needs and not thinking about calories, she said. Im not thinking about how good Im going to look in a pair of jeans or something, but really knowing that when I work out, my stress levels go down and Im better able to deal with my anxiety and looking at it from that perspective.

Once she was able to do that, Morrison realized it was something that everyone needed, so she created Inner Workout. She describes it as a mat-based self-care practice for your whole being on Instagram, but specifically, its self-care focused on five parts to help you gain access to the layers that encompass you. You reach them through the physical, which is the yoga, dance and kinesthetics class participants do, as well as through the energetic of breathing, the mental of journaling, the wisdom of active meditation, and the bliss, which is using the last five minutes of class to do whatever brings you great joy.

The idea for my workout came into being because I saw a lot of group fitness classes, but nothing that was really focused on looking within and learning how to actually build that skill into self-care, she said. For me, that is listening within and responding in the most loving way possible. So Inner Workout is yes you move your body and you might sweat a little bit, but its really about building that muscle, so to speak.

We spoke to Morrison about the importance of tuning in, how the Inner Workout works, and the necessity of prioritizing something far greater than the physical for true fitness and happiness.

MadameNoire:What inspired you to create this workout and how did you start working within to make self-care a priority for yourself?

Taylor Elyse Morrison: I am really interested in self-care because Im honestly really bad at it. I have burned myself out a lot of times. Ive always been a person who will have a full-time job and then a side hustle and then maybe volunteering at a non-profit on top of being in a relationship and trying to hang out with friends. There was one summer where I had a pretty demanding full-time job, still had clients for my side hustle and then had also just recently gotten married. I was spending a Sunday night trying to do work and Im just sitting in front of my computer typing and switching between tabs but realizing that Im not doing anything. So I closed my laptop, took a bath, and that was like my first self-care practice: shutting down on Sunday nights, taking a bath and not looking at anything work-related until Monday morning. When that really started to feel good for me, I started to think, how can I incorporate that feeling outside of baths? So I started doing more with journaling and meditation and just trying to listen to myself. As I did that, and I would talk about it more, other people would ask me questions about self-care, and I realized that this is something were not really taught. Were not taught how to listen to ourselves, were just kind of taught, okay, eat healthy, exercise, accomplish all your goals and try not to burn yourself out in the process. But no one tells you how not to burn yourself out.

How did you get to a place of focusing on the internal and having a sense of gratitude? What was the work that needed to be done to prioritize that regularly?

With practice. I talk about self-care being proactive and reactive. So the proactive things are my Sunday night baths or taking a walk with my dog in the morning, things I know that set me up for a good day. Then there is the reactive self-care where I feel like super anxious and I could sit and I dont know, scroll down Instagram and try and numb myself, but I would teach myself to tune in and say, okay, youre feeling really anxious. What are the things you could try right now? You could try taking some deep breaths. You could try calling a friend. You could try dancing to Lizzo in your living room, whatever it is. But its about training myself to have that moment before going into kind of the crutches and numbing myself out. Im actually seeing what productive things I can do. Its all an experiment. It changes. What works for me when Im anxious today might not be what works for me when Im anxious tomorrow.

What does your class consist of? I read that its a blend of movement, breath work, meditation and journaling.

Its a 60-minute class and really the teacher is the facilitator. Its not like a yoga class where you need to be in a specific pose and hold it for a certain number of breaths. This teacher, the facilitator, gives you a set of movements, and then you flow within it. Youre training yourself to listen to whats going on. You might find one part of the flow where you just need to hang out there because your hips are tight. You dont even need to worry about the rest of it. So the first 20 minutes or so are movement, and then you move into a time of breath work, which is really a time to access your breath but also start to notice your energy. Then you move into journaling. Theres always two journaling prompts. Its called journaling, most people write, some people dont connect to writing, some people doodle. You have a good chunk of time to do that and then we move into a meditation. After journaling, youve brought up a lot of stuff, and so the meditation is a good time to kind of observe your thoughts and synthesize. And then the final portion is five minutes of flow. So hopefully, by this point of spending 55 minutes listening to yourself, youre starting to understand what you need. So the last five minutes, some people will do more stretching, some people will journal more, some people will just lie there and breathe. Its really your time to say, okay, what do I need in this moment? What can I give myself?

Source: Nastasia Mora / Courtesy of Taylor Elyse Morrison

Youre based in Chicago and the classes take place in the city. I see that you have a way though for people to get involved remotely, online. Since they cant be physically in the class, what is it that theyre getting?

So theres two aspects of online. Theres the free online community and thats open to anyone, whether or not they want to do Inner Workout. Thats just a place for conversation, for encouragement, for accountability. Its really cool at this point because its something that were co-creating together. So the people who are the members now are getting to see what they want to make it into. Then the other piece is, in January, well be launching video classes. You can buy the pre-recorded classes and incorporate an Inner Workout class into your day or your week, however it fits for you. Theres a package thats available for pre-order where they can get an Inner Workout journal that can go under the tree or whatever you do for holidays, and then whoever youre gifting it to can then enjoy the videos when they launch in January.

How important is it for people to prioritize self-care in this way, the way you offer with Inner Workout? It seems especially important at a time when people are becoming more comfortable talking about mental health and fitness in general has become more appealing.

In general, I think mental health is extremely important. I think its good that were starting to have this conversation, especially in communities of color where traditionally, its something thats a little more taboo. I think where Inner Workout is really helpful is that it provides a time and a structured framework for this. Theres so many people, my friends and myself included, where we know the things that are good for us. We know we should meditate, or journal, or stretch, but its something that at the end of the day gets put down on the to-do list. Whats great about Inner Workout is its something that you can put on your calendar and come to whether youre in Chicago, or schedule a time to watch a video. Youve got everything you need to have a really rich self-care practice. But Im also a big proponent of saying you dont have to buy anything to practice self-care. You just make a commitment to listen to yourself and respond with love. Its going to be hard and youre going to have to keep working at it. Even right now, as Im saying that Im thinking, I dont think Ive had any water today and were halfway through the day. I havent been doing a great job of listening to myself, but Im committed to doing the work, and thats all any of us can do.

And how important is this message of fitness not just being about the physical?

I love that you mentioned that. Thats why I love that were rooted in the kosha model because its the five layers of yourself, or the five aspects of yourself. In self-care and fitness and wellness, were still focused on the wellness, what goes into our physical bodies, how were moving our physical body, and not thinking that we are whole, multi-dimensional human beings who have so many layers and things that are going on. So yes, I think its great that we have pushed the conversation and were starting to talk about health and mental health and wellness and fitness, but yes, to really in my opinion be someone whos a fit person, you have to be accessing all of who you are, which goes beyond just the things that you can do in the gym.

Be sure to follow Taylors Inner Workout page on Instagram and check out the rest of our inspiring Fitness Fridays profiles here!

Continued here:
Fitness Fridays: After Realizing She Was Really Bad At Practicing Self-Care, Taylor Morrison Created A Workout Class To Help Others Listen Within -...

Zaria Howell, Op-Ed ContributorNovember 3, 2019

For me, college is a lot like a very slow race, but a race nonetheless. I always feel like Im rushing to get to the end of something the end of a negative emotion, the end of a cloud-filled day, the end of a draining lecture where the professor talks for entirely too long.

However, this race is unlike your typical one, as its an everyday, four-year-long battle. Some days you chalk it up to the highs and lows of college something you and your friends complain about over poor, borderline-inedible dining hall food. Other days, these things feel like blows to your soul, and you ask yourself: Am I enjoying my experience here? Why dont I feel as alive as Id like?

My dad frequently FaceTimes me out of the blue, asking me with a little too much urgency in his voice: How are you? I can tell from the concerned tone that hes not asking me about my latest friend drama or the grossest thing I came across in my dorm bathroom recently. Hes asking me about my literal mental health. He and I are both fully aware that just last year, a student on my campus died by suicide. Hes aware of the pressures of the monotony of college. So when he asks, I listen. And I reflect, almost like Im as concerned as he is.

On days where I dont feel my best, I pull out my repertoire of self-help aids: morning meditation sessions, evening journaling sessions, deep breathing exercises in nature, long phone calls with my mom. If I feel even an urge of sadness, or notice an absence of emotion at all, I pull out all the stops. Theres nothing scarier for a college student than the possible prospect of depression because theres the threat of not being to prevent it and not knowing how to deal with it once it arrives.

Even as I write this piece right now, Im borrowing a tool from that repertoire I just mentioned, writing. I feel oxygen and the universe and Gods presence, all at once, starting to fill those gaping holes in my soul. I reject bad vibes and possible negative energy more than frat parties. Its honestly an art form.

If I had to give a piece of advice to my fellow college students, itd be the advice my therapist gave me: Find what nurtures your soul and do a lot of it. Does cycling give you joy? Cycle until your thighs feel like stone. Does studying in particular places on campus make you feel more alive? Make those spaces your second home. Does being alone in your dorm room bring you comfort? Decorate it well, and allow it to be your oasis. Does being a part of a particular club make you feel like youre surrounded by family? Devote all your time to that and nothing else.

In college, it may seem like getting your degree is the most important aspect of your experience here. After all, we were all told at some point in our lives that we are at institutions like these to learn. But why does learning have to be strictly academic? Some of my most fruitful growth has taken place outside the classroom, outside of the impostor syndrome its confines impose, and its probably mold-ridden walls.

Whos to say that college, as it stands, might not be one of those things that you decide doesnt nurture your soul? And if it isnt, then how do you fix that? Id say: Find the version of college that makes you happy, and if that means changing your major three years in or finding a whole new group of friends, even though you already have some, then so be it.

This is your life. How would you like to live it?

Zaria Howell is a Medill sophomore. She can be contacted at zariahowell2022@u.northwestern.edu. If you would like to respond publicly to this op-ed, send a Letter to the Editor to opinion@dailynorthwestern.com. The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the views of all staff members of The Daily Northwestern.

Read the rest here:
Opinion | The race of college - Daily Northwestern

Todd, 34, won the Byron Nelson in 2014, had four top 10s in 2015 but struggled mightily the next few seasons. He battled swing yips and mental hurdles, both of which he pinpoints to the 2015 BMW Championship and a disastrous four-iron that led to a 7 (and plenty of scar tissue). In 2006 he missed 25 of 29 cuts and barely earned $75,000. In 2017 it was eight missed cuts in nine starts, and in 2018 he was six for six in missed cuts on the PGA Tour.

It didnt really matter who I worked with because I hadnt taken enough time off, I think, to like calm my mind and just get away from it and say, OK, what did I do when I did play good? Todd said. For some reason I just couldnt figure out what it was.

After the 2018 season he hooked up with teacher Bradley Hughes, took time off, worked on drills in his basement and even read a self-help book to cure the yips. In 11 starts last season he mixed in four top 25s and made $252,546, and that helped him get into the Korn Ferry Tour Finals, where he earned his card back. He missed the cut in his first four starts of this season before a tie for 28th at the Houston Open. His next start was in Bermuda. He started Sunday two back but made that up in no time.

We came to a golf course that none of us have ever seen and I was able to go out there and figure it out and execute the shots and play spectacular golf, he said. Always be the first Bermuda champion, so Im excited.

See more here:
Brendon Todd goes from nearly quitting golf to Bermuda Championship winner - Golf.com

Monday, Nov. 4

Kripalu Yoga:9 to 10 a.m. (gentle/moderate). MaMA, Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge.

Settled and Serving in Place (Kingston Chapter):Meets 9:30 a.m. at the Olympic Diner, Washington Ave., Kingston. Settled and Serving in Place is a social self-help group for seniors who want to remain in their homes and community. (845) 303-9689.

Mother Goose Storytime for Babies:9:30 a.m. Hyde Park Free Library, 2 Main St., Hyde Park. (845) 229-7791.

Toddler Romp & Stomp:10 a.m. every Monday. The folks at Little Pickles have been generous enough to lend the library their playroom for this music and movement program. Little Pickles is located at 7505 North Broadway, Red Hook. Event is free and open to the public. For more information, call the Red Hook Public Library at (845) 758-3241. The library is located at 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook.

Community Resource Navigator: 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. Meet with a representative from Community Partnership for Dutchess County to discuss your needs. They can help you find financial assistance, apply for benefits or obtain on-going support. Mondays, Nov. 4, 18, 25. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241,redhooklibrary.org.

What a Way to Start Your Day:10 a.m. Arlington Reformed Church, Raymond and Haight avenues, Poughkeepsie.

Happy Apple Thrift Shop:10 a.m., 24 E. OReilly St., Kingston. To 3 p.m. (845) 338-0833.

Mahjongg:10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Will teach if necessary. All welcome. Temple Emmanuel, Albany Ave., Kingston. Call Estelle Nadler, (845) 657-8476 for more information.

Yoga:10:15 to 11:45 a.m. Mountainview Studio, 20 Mountainview Ave., Woodstock. Mixed level class. Yang Yin Yoga. Classes are $15 with the first class free. (845) 679-0901.

Toddler Romp & Stomp:10:30 a.m. and Toddler FUNdamentals at 11 a.m. Red Hook Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. Free and open to the public.

Study Hours:2 to 5 p.m. Looking for a place to study? The librarys community room is reserved for quiet study alone or in small groups every Monday afternoon. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241, redhooklibrary.org.

Math Help:3 to 5 p.m. Phyllis Rosato welcomes all ages welcome. From kindergarten to calculus. Phoenicia Library, 48 Main St., Phoenicia. (845) 688-7811.

Stump Me!:3:30 to 4:30 p.m. Get help with elementary school homework. Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave. (845) 246-4317, http://saugertiespubliclibrary.org/

Movement Monday:4 to 5 p.m. This program is designed to help children find release from the normal stress and anxiety resulting from their daily lives. Pre-registration is encouraged. Call the Rosendale Youth Program at (845) 658-8982 or email rosyouth@hvc.rr.com for more information or to sign up. Walk-ins are welcome. A weekly commitment is not required.

Fitness Hour:4 to 5 p.m. Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave. (845) 246-4317, http://saugertiespubliclibrary.org/

Healthy Back Exercise Program:4 to 5:15 p.m. Exercises to strengthen back and abdominal muscles and increase flexibility and range of movement. 28 West Fitness Gym, Route 28 and Maverick Road, Glenford. Fee: $12 per class ($10 for gym members). Anne Olin, (845) 679-6250.

Conversation and Book Signing:4 p.m. "FDR and the Struggle for Justice in the Second World War" with Dan Plesch and Graham B. Cox, moderated by David B. Woolner. The Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum, Henry A. Wallace Center at the FDR Library and Home, 4079 Albany Post Road, Hyde Park. Admission is free, but registration is required. Register at fdrlibrary.org to register. (845) 486-7745.

Cards:6 to 8 p.m. Play Pinochle. Ellenville Library, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 657-5530.

Community Yoga:6:30 to 7:30 p.m. New LGBTQ + Allies. This is weekly beginners class taught by Michele Muller. $5 suggested donation. Hudson Valley LGBTQ, 300 Wall St.,Kingston.

Mens Choir:7 to 9:15 p.m. Men of all ages, who would enjoy singing in a mens choir, are welcomed to join the Catskill Glee Club. Community Life Church, 20 W. Main St., Catskill. For questions, contact CatskillGleeClub@gmail.com or call Bob at (845) 389-1503.

Gentle Yoga:7 p.m. Olive Free Library, 4033 Route 28A, West Shokan. (845) 657-2482. Fee $6 drop-in.

Pickleball:9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Kingston YMCA. For experienced players. Free to Y members. $10 non-member day pass.Starting at 16 years old for all play.Call (845) 338-3810 or pballkingson@gmail.com for more information.

Aquoga class:9:30 to 10:15 a.m. at Kingston YMCA. Free to YMCA members; $10 non-member day pass available. (845) 338-3810 or amy@aquoga.com.

Settled and Serving in Place (SSIP 209):9:30 a.m. meets on Tuesday mornings, 9:30 a.m. at Lydias Country Deli, Route 209, south of Stone Ridge. SSIPs are local self-help, social groups which help seniors to stay in their own homes and remain active in their communities. For more information, call ViVi at (845) 331-0155.

Settled and Serving in Place meeting:9:30 a.m.Saugerties seniors meet at The Village Diner on Main Street. Settled and Serving in Place (SSIP) is a social self-help group for seniors who want to remain in their homes and community. (845) 246-3285.

Bridge Games:10 a.m. Church of the Messiah hall, Chestnut St. Rhinebeck. $10. For more information, call Pat at (845) 331-1743.

Computer Learning Center:10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Teaching computer-related and digital photography classes, Kingston Center of SUNY Ulster, 94 Marys Ave., Kingston. (845) 339-0046.

Preschool Story Hour:10 a.m. Olive Free Library, 4033 Route 28A, West Shokan. (845) 657-2482.

Toddler Time:10 to 11 a.m. Stone Ridge Library, Main Street, Stone Ridge. (845) 687-2044.

Happy Apple Thrift Shop:10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 24 E. OReilly St., Kingston. (845) 338-0833.

Mall Walking with OFA:10 a.m. Join a staff member from Ulster County Office for the Aging each week for a walk and talk. Every Tuesday at 10 a.m. sharp. Meet in the Food Court at 9:45 a.m. with a place for your coats. Hudson Valley Mall, 1300 Ulster Ave., town of Ulster.

Community Playspace:10 to 10:45 a.m. Gardiner Library, 133 Farmers Turnpike, Gardiner. Led by childrens librarian Amy Laber, a singer-songwriter, early childhood music.

Terrific two/three storytime:10 a.m. Gardiner Library, 133 Farmers Turnpike, Gardiner. (845) 255-1255.

Yoga:10:15 to 11:15 a.m. Energy Medicine Yoga will be taught by Maryanne. Mountain View Studio, 20 Mountainview Ave., Woodstock (845) 679-0901. Classes are $10 cash or check.mtnviewstudio.com.

Tots n Tales Story Time, For 2- and 3-Year-Olds:10:30 a.m. Hyde Park Free Library, 2 Main St., Hyde Park.

Preschool Storytime:10:30 a.m. For 3-to-5-years-old, Ellenville Public Library, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 647-5530.

Story Craft and Play:10:30 to 11:30 a.m. together Tuesdays with Janice for children birth through preschool. Come to join the gang of local parents. Phoenicia Library, 48 Main St., Phoenicia. (845) 688-7811.

Tiny Tots Theater:10:30 to 11:15 a.m. Tiny Tots Theatres exciting dress-up box is back. Superhero dinosaurs save stranded elephants, pirates cook up wonderful feasts, and so much more. This is a free program for pre-school-aged children as young as 2 and as old as 5. No registration required. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241,redhooklibrary.org. Also offered Nov. 12, 19 and 26.

Toddlertime story hour and crafts:10:30 a.m. For children ages 18 months to 3 years, Kingston Library, 55 Franklin St., Kingston.

Tuesday Tales:11 a.m. For preschoolers ages 3-to-6-years-old, Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave., Saugerties. (845) 246-4317.

Classes:11 a.m. to 12 p.m. 8 Immortals internal Chinese straight sword (Jian) adapted to Tai Chi principles, Hawksbrother. (You may take both classes, or either Sword or Tai Chi Chuan). Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge. (845) 687-6090

Free Caregiver Support Group:11:30 a.m. Community Center, 3 Veterans Drive, New Paltz. Join Miss Penny for a fun-filled storytime for the very young. Appropriate for ages 1-3.

Classes:Noon to 1 p.m. Second-generation Yang Tai Chi Chuan, with related Tai Chi Chuan chi gung, Hawksbrother. (You may take both classes, of either Sword or Tai Chi Chuan). Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge. (845) 687-6090.

Thrift Store:12 to 4 p.m. Margaretville Hospital Auxilary Thrift Shop, 850 Main St., Margaretville.

Story Time:1 p.m. Preschool story time. Early literacy activities and stories for children ages 3-5. Ellenville Public Library & Museum, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 647-5530.

Story Hours Grades 2 and 3:3:30 to 4:30 p.m. Stone Ridge Library, 3700 Main St., Stone Ridge. (845) 687-7023.

Pokemon Club:3:30 to 4:30 p.m. Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave., Saugerties. (845) 246-4317.

Tweenage Book Club:3:30 to 4:30 p.m. In this complete no-stress book club, participants talk about the books they've been reading and work on recommendations for their peers. Its all about book recommendations from kids for kids. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241, redhooklibrary.org.Also meets Nov. 19.

Spinning Yarns Knitters:4 to 6 p.m. Bring your knitting, crochet, embroidery or other hand-work to this friendly stitching group every Tuesday. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241,redhooklibrary.org. Also meets, Nov. 12, 19, 26.

Scrabble:4 p.m. Saugerties Public Library, 91 Washington Ave., Saugerties. (845) 246-4317.

Aroma Yoga Flow:4 to 5:15 p.m. (moderate) with young living essential oils. MaMA, Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge.

Terrific Tuesdays:4:15 p.m. For grades K-6, Ellenville Public Library and Museum, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 647-5530.

Boxing Conditioning:4:15 to 5 p.m., children ages 7-12; 5 to 5:45 p.m., teens; 6 to 7 p.m., adults. Mountainview Studio, 20 Mountainview Ave., Woodstock. mtviewstudio@gmail.com.

Prostate Cancer 101:4:30 to 6 p.m. Education and support group meeting in the Dutch Room of the Hurley Reformed Church, Main Street, Hurley. First Tuesday of every month. Learn your options, become educated and feel hopeful after talking to long-term survivors. Questions? (845) 331-7241 or (845) 419-5128.

Annual Spaghetti & Meatball Dinner:4:30 p.m. take outs, dine in 5 to 7:30 p.m. Adults, $9; children, 5-12, $5; under 5, free. Cairo Firehouse, Railroad Avenue, Cairo. (518) 634-7144.

LGBTQ Community Acupuncture Clinic:5 to 7 p.m., 300 Wall Street, Kingston. RSVPs highly suggested, though walk-ins will be welcomed when space is available; book your appointment at lgbtqcenter.org/acupuncture or call (845) 331-5300. The LGBTQ Community Acupuncture Clinic takes place in a relaxed and low-lit group setting using points on the ears, hands and feet. Intake takes approximately 10 minutes and resting time (after the needles are inserted) will vary, based on your preference, but is typically 20-45 minutes. $5 suggested donation, no one turned away for lack of funds.

Meditative Movement:5:30 to 6:30 p.m. Meditative movement (a blend of Yin/Gentle/Restorative). MaMA, Marbletown Multi-Arts, 3588 Main St., Stone Ridge.

The ProActive Caring Project:6 to 8 p.m. Join us for this course for parents and others caring for individuals with intellectual, developmental and/or other disabilities or illnesses. Set up as three in-person sessions and three sets of online resources on intervening weeks. Registration is required for this free program open to adults. Red Hook Public Library, 7444 South Broadway, Red Hook. (845) 758-3241 Also takes place Nov. 19.

Scrabble:6 to 8 p.m. Serious (and fun!). Wordplay at Ellenville Public Library, 40 Center St., Ellenville. (845) 647-5530.

Craft Night:6:30 p.m. Highland Public Library, 30 Church St., Highland. Sara creates a new project with tweens and teens ages 8-13. (845) 691-2275 or http://www.highlandlibrary.org.

Scrabble and Other Games:6:30 p.m. Pine Hill Community Center, 287 Main St., Pine Hill.

Open Mic:7 p.m. with Cameron & Ryder. Sign-up at 6 p.m. Club Helsinki, 405 Columbia St., Hudson. (518) 828-4800, helsinkihudson.com.

Weekly Meditation:7:30 to 8:30 p.m. Free weekly community meditation at Education Annex Of Wellness Embodied: A Center for Psychotherapy and Healing, 126 Main St., New Paltz. For optional beginner instruction, please arrive at 7:20 p.m. Donations accepted. http://www.wellnessembodiedcenter.com/community-meditation.

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Mid-Hudson Calendar of Events: Nov. 4 and 5, 2019 | Life and Entertainment - The Daily Freeman

Mental health, technology, politics...they're all changing how we view our lives, goals, and the world. So what can we do about it?

Bestselling author Mark Manson is back and sharing this worldview in his new book, Everything is F*cked. Think of it as self help for people who don't like self help. Manson recently spoke with the Brew about his new book and how to move from quantity to quality in your own life.

Brew: Tell us why everything is f*cked.

Mark: Well, everything's f*cked because everything's always been f*cked. My argument is that humans are the problem: Our psychology looks for conflict and problems. The world is fine.

Is this a book that you would've written two years ago, or is this tied to what we're experiencing today?

It's definitely more emergent with the time. There were two things going on. One, there was a lot of data showing a mental health crisis happening across the whole population, but especially with younger people. The other was people seemed to be in hysterics over everything.

What I found interesting when I was touring the world promoting The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck in 2017 and 2018 was that this is happening all across the worldit's not just the U.S. Everybody who lives in the U.S. recognizes that public discourse has gone to sh*t and everybody hates each other. But that same dynamic is happening everywhere. It got me curious about what it is about 21st century technology, 21st century life that promotes this breakdown of public discourse.

As you started looking into what's wrong, was there anything in your research that changed your mind or surprised you?

I really went into it expecting social media to be the big culprit. And I came to the conclusion that it's notit's something more fundamental.

Things like depression and anxiety don't correlate as much to social media as it seems. It's not just screen time or smartphone usage. I came to the conclusion that it's not necessarily the technology itself, it's the way the technology warps how we perceive the world and perceive our relationship to the world.

You're writing self help for people who don't want self help. How do you, as a writer, connect with people who think they don't need to (or want to) hear and learn from your message?

I think what turns most people off from self help is the idealistic self help. I blogged for a long time about psychology and relationships. We spent a lot of time with psychological research. One of the first things you realize is that humans suck. We're pretty selfish and we're bad at thinking clearly and we're very self-serving and irrational. So my goal is to write a form of self-help that's not based on, 'hey, you can accomplish anything,' but rather, 'hey, let's try not to be so awful.' And I think that just strikes people as more realistic and honest.

What can readers pull from your book and start implementing in their lives today?

There are two big takeaways. One is to gain a better understanding of how our hopes and perceptions of the world can easily be skewed and corrupted. I also ended up making a strong argument for being more conscious of our commitments and choosing self limitationslimiting what we expose ourselves to, what we engage in, who we engage with.

For most of history, it was always about getting more, achieving more, knowing more. In the 21st century when we have access to everything, the way to grow and improve is by narrowing our focus. Finding the handful of really good sources of information, relationships, and pursuits.

So what are some limitations you've set for yourself?

I definitely consume way less media these days. I am less active on social media. I travel less and make a point to spend time with a small group of family and friends. The orienting principle in my life over the last few years has been quality over quantity. Everything in our culture is pushing us toward quantity, but quantity is a very poor replacement for the meaning and satisfaction that come from good, quality relationships.

You once went on a five year travel expedition. Did the quantity/quality dilemma hit you during that experience?

I started to notice towards the end that the more places I went, the more places I wanted to go. I would go to Hong Kong and have an okay time, but then see all these pictures online of Hong Kong and think I did it wrong. I have to go back. I realized that travel became one of those things for me where it was becoming compulsive and about quantity of experience.

That in a nutshell is what's happening to us across many parts of life. There's this compulsive drive to accumulate more experience. Go on more dates, make more money, do more stuff. And that constant pursuit of more just leads to more desire. You don't ever reach a point where it's enough. You have to pick a moment and say this has to be it. I'm giving up the chase.

What separates people from not just saying they want to be better and successful, but actually doing it?

I think what ultimately leads to success is an obsessive focus on improvement in the moment. One of the arguments I make in the book is that hope can actually become destructive in certain contexts. If we hope for something too much, we psychologically separate ourselves from it and put it on a pedestal and think it's going to change our lives. And in many ways that creates more anxiety, resistance, and frustration.

Just focus. Whatever's in front of you, just do it better than you did it before. Don't spin up all these visions of, if I just started this company and had this house and knew these people, everything would be great. Because those visions are more limiting than they are enabling.

Do we use too little profanity in our daily life?

Not necessarily, but I think we take it too seriously. They're just words.

Grab your copy of Everything is F*cked. If you're still trying to figure out why the name Mark Manson sounds familiar...you might be remembering his previous hit, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Still want more? Give Mark a follow on Twitter to keep up with him every day or check out his 20 best articles that he's conveniently rounded up, covering everything from dating and relationships to life choices and culture.

What writers or thinkers have served as inspiration to you? David Foster Wallace, I'm a big fan of his nonfiction. Joan Didion. Hunter S. Thompson. I'm on a big Hannah Arendt kick right now. I'm a big Steven Pinker fan. Jonathan Haidt writes great stuff.

What have you been reading? This summer I went out and bought classic books by really famous women authors. So I read some Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston and Hannah Arendt.

What have you been watching? I just watched the new season of Stranger Things. I'm rewatching a classic anime called Neon Genesis Evangelion. This is super nerdyit's like 20 years old and Netflix just put it up and I'm rewatching it for the first time since college.

Favorite travel destination in the last year? Last year I went to the World Cup in Russia and it was amazing. I love Russia. It's so raw and people are so abrasive, which I strangely like. And then on top you have all this amazing history and culture, and the food's really interesting.

Originally posted here:
An Interview with "Everything is F*cked" Author Mark Manson - Morning Brew

Starting in January, people who represent themselves in court and want to file for a Temporary Protective Order (TPO), otherwise known as a restraining order, will be able to do so in the same Las Vegas location that processes custody, divorce and other related civil proceedings.

Under the old system, self-representing litigants had to file TPOs at Family Court and would then be directed to a different location for custody and divorce assistance. Family Court and Legal Aid Center representatives said the new center, slated to open in January 2020, will be a one stop shop for TPO filings as well as custody, divorce and other self-help services for litigants who cannot afford an attorney.

Because we cant provide 500 lawyers for everyone in need, what we do to fill in the gap is innovative projects like this, said Barbara Buckley, executive director of Legal Aid Center of Southern Nevada, who described the plans at a press conference at Clark County Family Court on Tuesday.

The Family Court will house the new center, which will be run by Legal Aid Center with initial funding from the Eighth Judicial District Court and the Clark County Commission. Representatives from Family Court and the Legal Aid Center said that the new office will streamline essential self-help services and offer an expedited process for approving TPO applications in a more user-friendly way.

Before the process was updated, litigants often would have to wait between one and two days for their TPO applications to be processed, leaving them vulnerable to further harm. With the new live system, which the Family Court began implementing in January, more litigants will be able receive an approval on the same day they applied for the TPO.

According to Sonya Toma, a staff attorney at the Family Law Self Help Center, the Legal Aid Center took over operations of the Family Courts TPO office in March, at which point the office expanded staff to include herself, a second licensed attorney and 10 non-attorney staff. While the new center is being constructed at the Family Court building, the TPO office continues to operate at full capacity in an atrium of the Family Court building.

The Family Court reports processing approximately 6,000 TPOs per year.

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Family Court announces new office that will combine restraining order, family court self-help services - The Nevada Independent

Whether thats within or outside your means, experts shared ways to step into the season of giving and sidestep a post-holiday financial hangover.

Write a list of whom youre looking to connect with and your gift recipients. List your bills and compare that to your available money. Be realistic, and from that, youll see what you can afford or what alternative plans can be made.

Having it written down makes it easier to check in with your expectations, said Niki Pechinski, financial wellness educator at the University of Minnesota Duluth. If we dont know our expectations or what we want to participate in, it can be harder to negotiate what we say yes to and what seasonal spending might look like, she said.

Include any charitable giving to your holiday spending plan. Keep in mind travel and miscellaneous costs, such as work potlucks. I wouldnt exclude time, either, whether thats volunteer time or party-planning time or travel time. Thats a really valuable resource, she said.

Its helpful to look at what you spent last year. And while the consensus was to keep holiday spending in mind year-round, its not too late to save.

You never have too little money to save, said Kassy Burr, coaching and counseling supervisor at Community Action Duluth. Even if you can save $5 a month, thats a good start, and its building good habits that could come in handy in the long run.

Once you have your list, check it twice. And over and over again.

Keep it in your phone or in your wallet as a reminder. Having those goals articulated in a dollar amount of what youre willing to spend can motivate you to stick to it, Pechinski said.

Also, know yourself and your shopping partners. If you find you spend more when youre with certain person, consider going solo, or bring along someone who might help hold you accountable.

Shopping and the giving spirit can lead to a financial hangover, and debt still has to be settled.

Paying for something unnecessary with money you dont have, while adding interest, is making money for someone else, and potentially damaging your credit in the process, said Hugo Hietapelto, financial planning program director at UMD.

Theres nothing wrong with using the credit card to purchase something, as long as youre not carrying that balance, he said.

There are certain rewards with using a credit card, such as earning cash back, but our experts suggested being mindful going into it.

Paying with a card vs. cash can mean a higher level of disconnection from your money. That can lead to spending beyond your means, Pechinski said. Another thing to consider is your available credit.

The best credit scores and the healthiest accounts have a revolving credit that does not exceed 20-35% of their limit. So, if you have a $1,000 limit, you probably shouldnt spend more than $200-$300 during any bill period. And youll want to pay that off in full and on time, Pechinski said.

Credit card dollars are there if you need them, but depending on your goals, it might be net harm, said Pechinski. Use that as motivation to say, "Im not willing to damage my credit history for this.

Hietapelto suggested making a game of holiday spending.

If youve allotted $30 for someone, jot down ideas in that price range that meet that persons preferences. Bargain-shop, compare prices and use coupon codes if youre buying online.

And, having the budget or savings in place means you dont need to use credit, he added.

Be open with friends and family about finances. You dont have to spend money to show someone you care. Share gift costs with a relative or family member, or set up a gift exchange. Some giving traditions can be countered with a different suggestion, like the gift of time.

Hietapelto suggested homemade gifts, such as a frame with family photos or a printed photo on canvas. Its about the memories were making. Spending money on trinkets doesnt make the most powerful impact.

Year-round, Hietapelto notes what his loved ones want when they mention it, and he pays attention to seasonal deals and discounts.

Track seasonal spending and check in with yourself in 2020 to look at how it went and how you want it to look ahead. Then, consider a system with envelopes, or a savings account at a bank or credit union.

Pay yourself first. Put money into savings as if it were a bill, Burr said.

Culturally, Americans arent comfortable talking finance. Its seen as taboo, and its not always the case that families are collectively having transparent conversations about money, Pechinski said.

People have a lot of shame around their money. They associate how much money they have or even material things with their worth. That gets in the way of when people are trying to move forward with goals, added Burr.

It can feel paralyzing to look at something as sensitive as finances, but applying curiosity to the topic will help you make an informed decision. Treat this like a fact-finding mission, Pechinski said.

Financial goal setting can be incredible self-care, whether thats looking at a repayment plan or how to approach the holidays in a way thats honest for you, added Pechinski.

That might change conversations with loved ones about what the holidays look like. If youre trying to save or you dont have much to spend, be explicit about that.

It can be an opportunity to talk about the magical qualities of this season through connection rather than through gift-giving, she said.

1. Make a list and set your budget

Write down whom you're giving gifts to, include a dollar amount that suits your budget for each, and stick to it. Include travel costs, dining, potlucks and time. Prioritize the list.

2. Use your imagination

Share gift costs with a relative or family member. Host a potluck. Set up a gift exchange. Consider making something by hand, and don't underestimate the gift of quality time. Whatever you choose, be open with friends and family about your spending goals so you can manage plans and expectations.

3. Shop wisely

Keep your spending plan handy. Bargain-hunt, compare prices and consider your shopping pals. If you're prone to spend more while with a particular person, go solo, or shop with someone who might help hold you accountable to your goals.

4. Payment

Paying with cash can make a better connection between you and your money. But if plastic is more your jam, go debit or be savvy about credit card rewards. Pay off your balance right away and on time to avoid damaging your credit score.

5. Track

Note your spending this year and use it as a resource for saving for next year's holiday season. Consider some sort of system in an envelope or a savings account through a bank or credit union. Set a business meeting with yourself for the upcoming year to set goals. It could make for a hollier, jollier outcome next year.

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Make a list. Check it twice. Experts share tips to avoid holiday debt - The Daily Republic

I was inspired to write this book because I believe that the simple practice of speaking your truth sits right at the heart of a happy, balanced and fulfilled life.

LONDON (PRWEB) October 28, 2019

Counselor and life coach Harinder Ghatora has published her empowering and essential self-help guide to transforming passive and demoralized behavior and thoughts into a fresh outlook backed by self-assurance and courage.

In The Power of Speaking Your Truth, Ghatora impresses upon readers the need for them to speak up and helps them to find their authentic voice. The book is guided by five highly realistic, hypothetical scenarios and presents readers with a series of questions to shepherd their self-reflection and instigate the process of reshaping their perspective.

I was inspired to write this book because I believe that the simple practice of speaking your truth sits right at the heart of a happy, balanced and fulfilled life, Ghatora said. As human beings, we are permanently in a relationship with ourselves and with those around us. If we want to make meaningful connections with people, have closeness in our relationships, live a satisfying life and have a strong, healthy, respectful sense of self, then we must learn to identify and communicate what we truly feel, need and expect from others.

Ultimately, Ghatoras book offers a down-to-earth, holistic approach that considers the way ones mental and emotional health can foster instances of insecurity and fear in social environments. The Power of Speaking Your Truth helps readers to identify, challenge and transmute limiting beliefs and replace them with a positive awareness that is more conducive to healthy assertive behavior.

The Power of Speaking Your Truth: How to Become Confident and AssertiveBy Harinder Ghatora ISBN: 978-1-9822-2467-7 (hardcover); 978-1-9822-2465-3 (softcover); 978-1-9822-2466-0 (e-book) Available through Balboa Press, Barnes & Noble and Amazon

About the authorHarinder Ghatora is a holistic life coach and counselor. Ghatora resides and has a private practice in West London and offers a range of services that are designed to help people live a healthy and balanced life. She works with all aspects of a persons being mind, body, emotions, spirit and supports her clients in overcoming personal obstacles and fostering self-empowerment. Ghatora is a graduate of the London School of Economics. She previously forged a successful managerial career in local government, specializing in research and statistics, for 18 years before retraining as a counselor, Neuro-Linguistic Programming coach and healer. Ghatoras time is now fully devoted to supporting others through one-on-one work, group work, workshops and e-products. This is her first book. To learn more, please visit http://www.harinderghatora.co.uk.

General Inquiries, Review Copies & Interview Requests: LAVIDGE Phoenix480-648-7557dgrobmeier@lavidge.com

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Counselor Helps Others Find Their True Voice in Debut Self-Help Book - PR Web

In a new book of essays, literary luminaries share stories of surviving dark times and the foods tied to those memories. Think of it as a cathartic dinner party. Meryl Rowin hide caption

In a new book of essays, literary luminaries share stories of surviving dark times and the foods tied to those memories. Think of it as a cathartic dinner party.

Natalie Eve Garrett isn't sure exactly which shelf at a bookstore her new book would belong on. She says it "probably wouldn't be at home among cookbooks," although it does contain recipes. Maybe memoir? Self-help? Literary essays?

Garrett's new collection, Eat Joy: Stories & Comfort Food from 31 Celebrated Writers, is a multi-genre, illustrated work of food writing. Literary luminaries like Claire Messud, Colum McCann and Lev Grossman share personal essays and an associated recipe. In that sense, the book takes a page from Garrett's 2016 anthology, The Artists' and Writers' Cookbook: A Collection of Stories with Recipes, which paired writing and recipes from big names in the world of arts and letters.

The premise behind the new book, Garrett says, is a group of writers "coming together to make something delicious out of darkness." In Eat Joy, Edwidge Danticat gives a recipe for white rice like the simple dish she and her mother served her father three days before he died. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie shares a remembrance of a young boy who worked for her family who was later killed by a land mine, and his recipe for jollof rice. Diana Abu-Jaber offers a recipe for za'atar bi zayt (za'atar in oil) and her Palestinian aunt's recollection of eating wild za'atar leaves to stay alive in 1948 as she and her family were forced out of their village by soldiers in the war that led to the creation of the state of Israel.

We spoke with Garrett about the process of bringing it all together.

You write in the introduction that food is a "conduit for unearthing memories." Can you elaborate on that a little?

Food can be such a lovely way into the heart of a story, you know the sound or the smell of garlic in a pan. There's something about the sensory memories that really can pull us back into our childhood, or things we ate in times of celebration, or times of grief. It has a way of summoning up our past. A lot of cherished memories are times when someone created something for you and gave you this nourishing thing.

Where did the idea for the book come from?

The concept started in 2016. Back then the world was feeling pretty dark, and layered on top of that, a loved one received a diagnosis that we knew would pretty dramatically change their life and mine. Sometimes when we're faced with adversity we rise to it, and sometimes we tumble into bed and curl up in a ball and that was a curl-up-in-a-ball kind of time for me.

In that wallowing, I had a vision of the most cathartic dinner party I could ever imagine, where everyone laughed and cried and shared the stories of the hard times in their lives, and how they somehow managed to make it through.

So that dream dinner party became the book. To me, the book sort of embodies that idea of coming together to make something delicious and beautiful and joyful out of darkness.

The book does have if not a darkness to it, at least a heaviness. These stories are rich. Did you know so many of the stories the authors submitted were going to be about these fairly dark themes, like addiction, eating disorders and war?

I didn't ask them for their favorite food memories, like I did for my last cookbook. It was more like, "Tell me about a time you went through something hard." I wanted stories of adversity and resilience and what helps us along the way. I think it can be so healing for people to hear that other people are going through hard times, too. Hearing these stories can be a source of light.

There was one reviewer who said the book was good but it that it has the worst title because there's no joy. But to me it is joyful it's not happy, but I do feel like it is joyful.

What's the difference between joy and happiness?

I think of happiness as being something that we're always chasing the right person, the right job external things. To me, joy is quieter, more internal, and we often find it in simple moments along the way. Like in Claire Messud's essay [in the book], where she writes about her mother, who experienced so much disappointment and loneliness in her life, yet finds solace in the little things.

I think this is part of why cooking and eating can trigger joy. Food pulls us into the moment, and reminds us of our senses and all that we have to be grateful for. Even in or maybe especially in dark times.

And that feeling of gratitude for the little pleasures is in itself healing. Sometimes I think you have to experience the dark times in order to really see clearly, and experience joy.

It's like sugar and caramel. They're the same thing, but for caramel there's something extra sweet that comes from the burning. These stories aren't sugar stories they're caramel stories.

Yeah, definitely. These are caramel stories; I like that. It's like the lemon on the cover I had the saying, "When life gives you lemons..." in mind when I made the book, but I didn't know the illustrator was going to do that, and I think it's perfect.

How do you imagine people reading this book? Do you imagine people following the recipes? Some of them are kind of odd, in a delightful way.

I see the recipes as being kind of not the function of the book, but an additional gift to the reader. Like, here's a story of a really hard thing the contributor went through and they're sharing it with you, and it's intimate and they came out on the other end, and now here's a gift. It might be as simple as Anthony Doerr's recipe for brownie mix, and sitting on the floor eating it with his fingers in a rush of sugar and comfort which to me is such a moving and very relatable image, and such a poignant moment.

Some of the recipes are very recipe-esque. Very traditional. And others are more conversational. Like Porochista Khakpour's recipe for tahdig the story and the recipe are all one thing. In her recipe she says, "Every tahdig is uniquely its own mess. That to me seems apt for the Persian psyche as well." I love these lines.

And I like that the book has a lot of short recipes, too. I think sometimes that's what we need most of all. Sometimes, with really complicated recipes, I'm like "I 100 percent want to eat that but I do not want to make it." But cooking doesn't all have to be that way. It's OK to have it be easy. Maybe you'll even burn it a little bit, and that's still fine.

Emily Vaughn is an intern on NPR's Science Desk.

Original post:
Acclaimed Writers Reveal Their Comfort Foods And How To Make Them In 'Eat Joy' : The Salt - NPR

NOVEMBER 2, 2019

I NEVER THOUGHT that I would need books about womens anger. For a handful of reasons both intensely personal and shockingly common, I grew up angry and have remained so my entire life. In fact, most of the women I know are angry, particularly in light of the last three years. The election of a white supremacist and admitted sexual predator to the highest office in the United States which in turn renewed an onslaught of racist, misogynist abuse has brought public, widespread expressions of fury to our news outlets, social media channels, and dinner conversations. The dismal news pours in every day: most of us are still making less money doing the same job as the guy in the cubicle next to us, almost 60 years after the Equal Pay Act was passed. As of this writing, there have been 279 mass shootings in 2019, many committed by men with histories of domestic abuse. Pop cultures alignment with #MeToo exposed some high-profile sexual offenders to the withering light of social censure, but there are still plenty of criminals wandering our schools, our churches, and our communities. The list goes on and on, and for me, the question is not the obvious why of my angers existence, but what I can do with it.

There are an estimated 3.8 billion women in the world, and Id wager that nearly all have disquieting stories to tell. Therefore it should be no surprise that a number of recent books take womens anger as their subject matter. Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Womens Anger by Soraya Chemaly, Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Womens Anger by Rebecca Traister, and Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower by Brittney Cooper are all single-author extended meditations that approach the topic from synergetic angles. The newest addition to this growing canon, the anthology Burn It Down: Women Writing about Anger, diverges from these in providing a venue for 22 essays by women speaking about their anger from a variety of perspectives: as trans women, cis women, queer women, journalists, poets, actresses, first-generation Americans, women who are dealing with mental illness and physical disability; women living in New York, Chicago, El Paso, Columbus, the Pacific Northwest, and western Massachusetts; Black, Xicana, white; mothers and the childless; middle-class, poor. This panoply of voices demonstrates that anger isnt the rightful domain of a particular location, a race, or an economic status. The diversity of subjectivities serves two main functions: readers can find at least one essay in which they identify strongly with the author, and it creates a sense of sisterhood that could hypothetically transcend the typical boundaries that keep women from combining their considerable forces to enact change.

Ill admit that I approached these essays optimistically, but also with a dose of skepticism. As a person already in touch with her anger, I wondered if this volume was meant to be a form of self-help for the apoplectic, or if the essays would suggest promising avenues for change. And what of the larger questions that this collection might address: Does the expression of anger, on its own, have merit, or is anger only valuable as a catalyst to action? What is the it were exhorted to burn down? Theres a sense of asked-and-granted permission in the editors introduction: Lilly Dancyger notes, Its okay, get angry, and that is exactly what the authors do, in a confessional, intimate way. Though the urgent tone and relatively short length of each essay may tempt the reader to rush through, these stories are worthy of unhurried contemplation and definitely benefit from a little breathing room.

Overall, Burn It Down shares with the three books mentioned above the position that, though women have been actively discouraged from anger, they require it to feel it, acknowledge it, express it, use it in order to lead emotionally authentic, unabbreviated lives. Another notion the books share is that anger does not exist in isolation. Burn It Downs opening essay by Leslie Jamison, Lungs Full of Burning, wrestles with the irreducibly messy territory of where sadness and anger bleed into one another. Whereas the majority of the other essays contain first-person reckonings with anger, Jamison surprises the reader by viewing this emotional phenomenon through the rivalry between Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan and the way that the media of the time framed the story as raging bitch and innocent victim, or bad-girl hero and whiny crybaby. She reminds the reader that emotions are not dichotomies, and that women, especially women in the public eye, are socially orchestrated to be cutout dolls living within a flattened, bounded territory that prevents them from expressing the full dimensionality of their humanity. Monet Patrice Thomass The One Emotion Black Women are Free to Explore takes up this same argument against unidimensionality from a different angle, in which the racist stereotype of the angry Black woman clashed with instances of her anger existing alongside or being partially eclipsed by fear situations in which expressing anger would have put her at greater risk for harm. Anyone who has found themselves in a similar circumstance, in which addressing an injustice directly and with honesty would make them even more vulnerable, will understand the detrimental effects that come from having to set aside your anger in the first place a strategy that protects in the moment but over time compounds self-insult to the original injury. She concludes, My anger has always been dismissed or overlooked, because it was superseded by the fear of what Id lose by expressing it, whether it be my dignity, my safety, or my livelihood. Fear, I finally understand, is the one emotion that Black women are allowed to freely explore.

Skirting fear by conforming to predetermined (and often suffocating) expectations is a common motif. Minda Honey, writing on her early life at home, notes, Growing up, my mother taught us three girls how to read our fathers moods like the weather[.] [] It never occurred to me to stand up to him, to raise my voice in return. In terms of gender conditioning, some of the most illuminating essays are by trans women, who narrate how prior encounters with anger in their early emotional educations have shaped their understanding of culture and gender. In On Transfeminine Anger, Samantha Riedel talks about self-defense and her childhood discovery of anger as a masking mechanism, because boys are expected to get performatively angry as part of problem-solving: This was the learned language of boys. Later, she notes: Im still learning to recognize when I hold onto anger and use it for self-abuse[.] [] But the joy of expressing myself authentically is a greater reward than I ever could have dreamed, one that far too many women are still denied.

Reading these essays arouses all of the emotional states that they contain: anguish, anxiety, disorientation, and indignation. One of the most galling is Sheryl Rings recounting of how a medical professional repeatedly misgendered her and then reached out and poked her breast because she wanted to see if it was real. At the end of Crimes against the Soul, Ring tells another story about a cis woman who commiserates with the author about getting hit on at work, only to follow with a transphobic comment. One of the nascent themes in this collection is how the casual cruelties of other women from elementary school and the teen years through adulthood are often the most riling, if only because women already face so much maltreatment from our pernicious, destructive patriarchy. Its as if we thought there was a tacit pact to have one anothers backs, and so we are particularly stung on the occasions when we find its not true. Lisa Factora-Borcherss essay Homegrown Anger recounts the girls at her lunch table smugly calling her moms Filipino food dogshit, and though it is one tiny part of an essay about xenophobia and Midwestern politics, it made my throat tight with commiseration. The subject of gender perfidy is taken up in more depth in Brittney Coopers book Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower, which deals specifically with the contradictions, complications, and gray areas of being a Black feminist within the overlapping spaces of cultural conditioning, contemporary academe, and American pop culture. In a chapter thats mainly concerned with why she considers Beyonc to be a feminist, the author takes a look at relationships, power, and pretty privilege, and says, [F]or many of us, the first real injustices that mattered to us, that ripped our hearts out, werent the failings of our parents relationships, or the boys we crushed on who didnt love us, but the Black girls who we wanted to see us and befriend us instead either ignored or bullied us.

Not just anger, then, but also the betrayal that kindles it, are the themes that connect these essays (and these books) together like a network of threads or fuses. Our disloyalty to ourselves when stifling our anger, the treasonous rejection of other women, the falseness of a medical system that doesnt heal, the double-dealing of a government that doesnt keep its citizens safe from harm: all these things are catalysts for the countdown to angers expression and its effects. Anger becomes a beacon, a flare sent up to tell you when you need to be paying attention to your body, your psychic boundaries, and your very being. Lisa Marie Basiles My Body Is a Sickness Called Anger argues that anger is a force for self-advocacy within a medical system that frequently doesnt acknowledge womens illness and downplays womens physical pain. Of the propulsive power that catalyzes her self-support in navigating both disbelief and bureaucracy, she writes, [M]y anger has become my savior. In No More Room for Fear, Megan Stielstra, recounting the scene of an active shooter on the Northwestern University campus where she teaches, notes,

Twenty-five years Id imagined this moment and every time I was panicked, shaking; now, instead, I was white-hot and clenched, my muscles seething. Psychologists have long written about anger as a secondary emotion to fear, but I could give a shit about theory. This was gut-level; my body, my bones. I should not be under a desk.

All these mentioned above are excellent reasons to be furious, and letting off a little steam is healthy, unless, of course, it gets coded as natural for some people and abnormal for others. In the introduction to Rage Becomes Her, 392 pages of accessible scholarship on womens anger, author Soraya Chemaly lists the impositions and restrictions that shape the expression of and reception to anger:

While we experience anger internally, it is mediated culturally and externally by other peoples expectations and social prohibitions. [] Relationships, culture, social status, exposure to discrimination, poverty, and access to power all factor into how we think about, experience, and utilize anger. [] [I]n some cultures anger is a way to vent frustration, but in others it is more for exerting authority. In the United States, anger in white men is often portrayed as justifiable and patriotic, but in black men, as criminality; and in black women, as threat. In the Western world, which this book focuses on, anger in women has been widely associated with madness.

In other words, assuming a certain level of cultural competence, and depending on who else is in the room, you may or may not feel empowered to express your anger. The conceptual theories George Lakoff proposes in Women, Fire, and Dangerous Things sketch the linguistic roots of angers association with madness: in addition to the metaphorical connection between anger and heat (when you are angry you lose your cool, do a slow burn, and breathe fire), there is a connection between anger and mental illness (go crazy, nuts, bananas, berserk, raving, have a fit). But Lakoff doesnt analyze these utterances by sex, so it bears saying that in the same way that history is told by the victors, our society allows men specifically, white men to tell our cultural stories, shaping the language and discourse around womens behavior. The more gender-neutral simmer and blow up are recast, for women, as the expressly feminine and irrational hysterical. This situation is exacerbated if youre not white and Christian; in Burn It Downs The Color of Being Muslim, Shaheen Pasha notes, Too much anger and youre seen as unstable, a threat to society with jihad coursing through your veins. Thus the ongoing vacillation: women are angry, and we have very good reasons to be angry, yet we are told to not be angry, and we will be labeled as mentally unsound even dangerous if we show it. No wonder some women still need permission to acknowledge it. Even for those who embrace their anger, who among us has not waited until a more felicitous moment to express fury, or under the weight of a lifetime of suppressed feelings thought, Im afraid if I start screaming, I might not be able to stop?

The it we are exhorted to burn, then, is nothing less than the circumstances that threaten our autonomy, dignity, and personhood, including our own internalized subjugation. Burn It Down is an impressive collection of essays; nevertheless, women who want to see large-scale social change must beware the ease of stopping at mere personal disclosure, no matter how assuaging the feeling of release. Lakoff categorizes a subset of anger metaphors as heat of fluid in a container (steaming, fuming, bottled up), and while its true that everyone needs to vent, there is a grave strategic pitfall to catharsis being the terminus of ones efforts. This is not dismissive of the editors or authors work: personal narratives are crucial and need to be tended to; we are educating each other, leading to insight, connection, rapport, and, with effort, collectivity. Where we are divergent, they offer us a path back to one another. Megan Stielstra notes, I dont know if a story can save us but it sure as hell can show us whats worth fighting for. In other words, in order to make real change, we can start by saying, I care about your screaming because I am also screaming; but thats where the work begins, not where it ends.

Consciousness raising is an initiatory step toward long-term approaches necessary to overcome our instinctive American individualism, what we see as our personal problems and stories (despite their widespread relevance), the individualism which continually interrupts the construction of long-term systemic ameliorations. Over the last decade, weve watched the empowerment ofself-caremorph into capitalisticme timeand the selling of wellness, an I-got-mine marker of social status in the form of an achievable semi-permanent performance of mental and physical health within a culture and environment that are profoundly unwell, unhealthy, sick, and deranged. Instead of making structural changes to public health care, self-cares emphasis on separate, incremental actions twists the population back to propping up the status quo, with the deleterious effect of also blaming the individual for her own illnesses. Grappling with the territories of women and their anger, our individual stories are only truly valuable when they coalesce into collective activity, and we show up for each other in our homes, on the streets, in offices, boardrooms, and courtrooms. In the essay Unbought and Unbossed, Evette Dionne asserts, [O]ur anger is our best gift, it allows us to blaze a new path, and the most important word in this aphorism is us. Theres no such thing as an individual solution to a social problem. Self-help will end in self-destruction when not if it undermines collective support for social and legislative programs that lift all women up. Locating her adolescent anger and beginning to understand it, Melissa Febos writes, It was like carrying a hammer for my whole life and finally realizing what it was good for. Picture the power of a single hammer, and what it can fix; now imagine 3.8 billion hammers, and their unified, ringing blows.

Bean Gilsdorf is an interdisciplinary artist and writer based in Portland, Oregon.

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Auspicious Conflagrations: The Heat of Women's Anger - lareviewofbooks