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RMA Martial Arts & Fitness :: Right Mental Attitude ...

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Your goal in life should be to feel good. And having a positive mental attitude (PMA) is the only way to meet this goal. Napoleon Hill stated that "The only thing that you have control over is your mind."

So if you want to change the circumstances of your life you need not worry about what's going on in the world or what other people are doing. The only thing that you need to worry about is tending to your own mind and thoughts.

If you feel that you are in a dead end job or would like to do something different with your life. You should plan exactly how you would like to succeed. Set a goal. Decide what you would like to do or the position or title that you would like to hold and the money that you would like to make.

Give your wants and desires a time limit for example two years, five years etc.

Paint a picture of what you desire in your mind and hold that thought there for as long as you can. Visualize it often and your life in regards to that particularly experience will change.

Training yourself to have a positive mental attitude is not as hard as you think. We all know right from wrong and you can tell by the way your words or your actions makes you feel.

We are all meant to be successful and to receive all that we want and desire and thinking negatively will hold you back from obtaining what you want.

The way you've been thinking is a reflection of everything that you have attracted into your life thus far.

Remember your thoughts are the only thing that you can control, and by practicing a positive mental attitude is the first step in changing your life for the better.

Some ways to maintaining a positive mental attitude is

1. Making yourself friendly and approachable - If own your business or if you are an employee of a business. You must make your self friendly and approachable to your clients or coworkers if you expect the same in return. You are where you are because of your personality and your attitude and how well you relate to others.

2. Helping other people - In life you have to help other people in order to succeed. In business you can help people in several ways, if you are in sales, you are helping by selling a product or providing a service. Or you can help someone by simply providing good information.

3. Appreciation - Express your appreciation for where you are in life right now, even if feel like you still have a long way to go. Just the feeling of appreciation will allow the Universe to move you towards the goals that you are trying to reach.

4. Compliments - Everyone loves to be complimented. Don't concentrate on a person faults. Find something that they are doing well and compliment them and they will in return find something that they appreciate about you.

5. Change your negative attitude - If you find yourself becoming angry about something, focus on something that you love such as your wants or desires, your family pet or reaching or maintaining your goals. Give yourself time to change your negative attitude to one that is more positive.

6. Beliefs - In order to succeed you must believe that you can do anything that you put your mind too. Set your goals and maintain a positive attitude and you will be successful at whatever it is that you desire.

Remember life is what you make it and we are all learning new things everyday. Learn from every lesson, the good and the bad and strive to make your life better.

When you think good thoughts, you will attract good things into your life and maintaining a positive mental attitude will help you to stay on your path to achieving all that you want and desire.

Sending Love and Happiness,

Shontel

LEARN MORE ON HOW MAINTANING A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE WILL ENSURE THAT YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL IN WHATEVER PROFFESSION THAT YOU CHOOSE!

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POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE - Law of attraction

Minecraft name(s): Meguzara Skype ID: Freema has it Time zone: Central Have you ever been banned or received a strike? If so, link the report: Nope Do you hold / have you held any other staff positions? Currently on no staff team, previous staff teams: Forum Moderator, Villain Application Team, and Event Team. Magic Application Team, GM Team, and I led the MAT. What MMORPG/video games have you / do you play? (Past and Present) Oh jesus here we go... LoL, Diablo 2/3, Guild Wars 2, Mass Effect 1/2/3, DayZ, Dark Souls 1/2, Skyrim, LoG 1/2, Magicka, L4D2, Portal 1/2, Payday 2, Civ 5, Risk of Rain, Pillars of Eternity, tf2. What are your characters? Are you willing to sacrifice any to become a Event member? I pretty much only play my frost witch Lumia now. Id really rather not sacrifice her or anything, but, just having one gives me a lot to work with. What race / group do you think your events would best cater to? If none in particular, give an example of the type of group that your events would entertain. Hm, I can't say any race in particular, I don't think I'd be very good at orc/dwarf events, though. I think any event I would organize would cater more to adventurous characters or players. I want the events to be as dynamic as possible, where the player's would want to ask questions and investigate things, and not just sort of run around, you feel me? What do you believe are key factors for a successful event? 1. Time- Putting thought, time, and effort into an event is crucial. Half-Baked events thought up on the spot suffer compared to events with more pre-planning. Note, I'm talking about large events here, spontaneous small ones are fine. 2. Interest and Intrigue- Your event won't get far if it doesn't catch player's attention. A good story can make or break an event. 3. Have a Plan- This goes back to my mention of dynamic events. In order for an event to go smoothly, you need to plan out what you want to do ahead. And most importantly, think of what players might do. If you expect players to do 1 thing, and plan for that, then they do another thing, you are probably going to struggle. When was the last time you saw a event? Havent seen one that I can remember since I came back to LOTC. Although I could be forgetting. What strengths could you contribute to the Event Team? Are you knowledgeable in lore or great at organizing? I'm on a lot, I love doing events, I love taking part in events, I like writing, I have a good grasp on LOTC lore in general. I think I could contribute a different perspective, hopefully, as well! Why do you want to be part of the ET? Im super biased towards this map in terms of design and want to develop story. Theres so much potential and great stuff that can happen, and I would love to work on it. Create three distinct RP scenarios/events based on LOTC lore that you would organize. These are pitches to the Managers and Ouity, not to the community. Note: Not all of the group must be handled at once. Eg: 20+ people via 5 person increments in a dungeon. 1) For 1-3 person Title: A Friend In Need ET Members: 2 NPCs: Marrie Mona- Female/Human/30's Fidgety, on edge, would be more open to humans/dwarves/elves, would be fearful of orcs/khas, but would still speak to them. Seeks help in finding her brother, who went into nearby woods and did not return. Would request players find her brother. Would reluctantly accompany them, if requested. Would take some convincing. Would offer small mina reward. If taken along- Would be on edge all the time in the woods, the slightest noise causing her to jump or scream. Would cling to strongest looking member of the player group. If left behind- She would wish them good luck, and wait. Upon returning, if they player group accepted the money from Martin and lied to her, she would be devastated, but grateful that they allowed her some closure. If the players were to tell her the truth, she would be angry, but then remorseful, regretful that she drove him away. She would request that they take her to the cottage. If the players do, Martin would not be there, and she would request some time alone at the house, giving them their reward. If the players do not escort her, she would go to the cottage alone, frustrated with them, but still giving them their promised reward. Should the players return to the cottage afterwards, they would find it completely empty, Marriee nowhere to be found. Martin Mona: Male/Human/30s Lax, stoner-ish. Lives in small cottage in the woods, alone. Wishes to get away from overbearing sister, without hurting her feelings by telling her hes leaving. Planned to fake his death by going into woods and simply living there alone. If Marrie is with player group- She would confront him, distraught. They would exchange words, and, without player intervention, make up. Should the players interrupt them, Martin would be put off, and annoyed at their intrusion. Marrie would calm him down, and they would make up. Should the players threaten Martin, or should they be incredibly rude/intrusive. He would push Marrie away and lock himself in cottage. Cottage would not be well fortified, and he is not a fighter. If the player group does not take Marrie- Martin would offer them a small cash reward to tell Marrie he perished. Should they take it, he would be grateful and go inside. Should they refuse it, he would be angry, and would lament having to leave the cottage to avoid his sister. Build Requirements: Cottage in a Forest 2) For a group of 5-10 Title :Skulls For the Skull Throne ET Members: 5-8 NPCS: Old Man Withers: Male/Human/50s Withers will be the initiator of the event, seeking help with a grave-robbing issue. He would explain that the cemetery he tends to is frequently being robbed, however the thieves only take the skulls of the corpses. He would be slow, frustrated with the robbers, and eager to help the players. He would direct them to a nearby cave that he is suspicious of. He would insist on following the players into the cave. Withers would use a shovel to fight, and should he be killed, he would thank the players for helping him, request that they find the leader and kill him, and bury him in his cemetery. Trak, Lord of the Mind: Male/Elf/?? Trak is the main antagonist, the leader of a small cult of illusionists/mental mages living in a cave. He is insane, seeking skulls to create an elaborate throne. He is physically weak, but a powerful illusionist. He would be completely unreasonable, and negotiating with him would not be possible. Cultists: Male-Female/Human-Elf/20s-30s Mages and fighters of varying shapes and sizes, they would be Traks henchmen. The first group would be at the start of the cave, 1-2 mages and 2-3 fighters. They would be idly chatting, working to clean up skulls for Traks throne. Should the players approach them, they would be instantly hostile, commanding them to leave at first. One would then suggest that they kill the players to acquire more skulls. The others would agree, and a fight would ensue. The second group would be with Trak, 2-3 mages and one fighter, Traks lieutenant, Kat. She would be a burly fighter, brash, proud, and impatient. Once they are defeated, two items may be looted from Trak and Kat, respectively. The first is the Circlet of Spook a silver circlet with an opal in the center, which, when worn, gives the head of the wearer the appearance of a skull. The second would be the Axe of Bluffing an axe which makes the holder look as though they have larger muscles than what they actually have. It does not change them in any other way, it simply looks like they are physically stronger. Withers would thank the players, offer them the items, and a mina reward. He would then begin to work on taking back the skulls. Build Requirements: A graveyard with a hut, a small cave system with 1-2 small rooms to the side, filled with corpses and henchmen working, and one large foyer with Traks skull throne in the center. 3) For a group of 20+ Title: The Hidden Keep ET Members: 15+ Synopsis: Less of an NPC driven even like my previous two, this one would involve a small group of explorers and scholars requesting aid in exploring a keep that was recently discovered in a forest. Precursor: A server wide-broadcast of a large forest fire, like, very big. This would attract different players such as druids or any other interested parties. The forest fire would burn all the trees and foliage that kept the keep hidden. NPC Group: 6-7 Leader: Kalkan The Brave: Male/Wood Elf/100-300 The leader of the group of adventurers requesting aid. Uses a bow and short sword, generally proud, kind, brave, although rather foolish and headstrong. Would want to be the leader of the party, and would oppose player character taking control. Would yield if player character showed strength, however. Liadri: Female/Human/20s Thief of the group, a scout, nimble, agile, and stoic. Would be reluctant to want help, but would request so under Kalkans orders. Galhad: Male/Dwarf/ ? Think Gimli, pretty much. Friendly, adventurous, etc. Algernon: Male/Human/40's Standard scholar type, would be a mage, fire evocation, telekinesis, and arcane shielding. Rather quiet, but insightful. He would be reluctant to adventure, always wanting to examine things. Basically I want this to be your standard DnD party, in a way. Just an adventure into a dungeon of sorts, with the ET NPC party interacting with the players, and seeing where that goes. This event would be multifaceted, as well. Players wouldn't have to go with the party, however the keep would be much more dangerous. There is also the option of ET working on the ramifications of the fire, if people want to clean up, or help fix things. The Keep would be standard, in ruins, bodies, debris, etc. Below ground there would be a large library, that can open up into a large cave system. The system would be trapped, and have signs of human interaction. Small rooms with journals and books, experiments, etc. What is left of the books would be from a man named Varen it does not go into much detail about him, but he appears to be researching something. He mentions having to be sneaky, revenge, a great happening, etc. When the party reaches the bottom, they would come across a large door, seemingly hidden. Upon opening the door, the party would find a large pile of bodies, bones mostly, with what looks to be an area where a ritual was performed. It is too old and mangled to determine what the ritual was, however. A short time after, they would be attacked by Voidal Terrors (Mindless sub-set of Voidal horrors). The Terrors would be dormant at first, however there would be about 9 or more, depending on the ET members, and they would fight the players. One large voidal terror would be built, this is up to the builder's discretion. The outcome of the fight would be non-scripted, however the NPC ET members would step up should the players falter, this should not be necessary, though. Upon defeating the terrors, the players would find the final notes of Varen, detailing how he lured the inhabitants of the keep down here to summon the terrors, planning to use them for himself, however they turned on him and he perished along with the rest of them. Varen was the librarian, and claims to have found something on voidal horrors in the library. The library would be in ruins, and little would be found about the horrors, if anything at all.The hidden nature of the door prevented the dim-witted horrors from escaping, so they were trapped there until the players arrived. There wouldn't really be any loot, although the NPC ET party would reward the players, and head off for another adventure. Maybe they would show up again in another event, like recurring characters. Just a thought. Build Requirements: A semi-large, burnt forest with a keep in the center. A keep, medium size, with a library basement that leads to an underground cave system. This system opens up into a larger cave, with bodies and room to fight, with one large voidal horror creature in the middle. How long do you plan to stay in the ET? For a while, the only thing I can see removing me from lotc would be school, but that wont happen till the fall, and even then thats not 100%, Tell me a joke My IRL social life.

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Positive Mental Attitude - The Lord Of The Craft

Arnold H. Glasow

An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupies.

There are two distinct parts of human thought. One part is the brain, and the other part is the inner mind otherwise known as the subconscious. Both parts work together to help shape our view of reality. When congruence exists between them, there is harmony in the system, which includes the body and the emotional centers that shape how we feel from moment-to-moment. However, when congruence doesnt exist between the brain and the inner mind, then thats when conflicting agendas create havoc within the system, leading to emotional mayhem and self-sabotaging behavior. But more about that later. Lets first take a closer look at the brain.

The brain is at the center of the nervous system. Its role is to think, to make conscious decisions, and to create associations between past memories and present experiences. The brain does all this through the five human senses of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell.

As information comes through these five senses, the brain interprets this data in a very specific way that is dependent upon your beliefs, values, human needs, self-concept, meta-programs, psychological rules and perspectives. All of these elements come together to create a thought, which directly affects your emotional state-of-mind.

As the brain senses something familiar, it immediately interprets this information based on its reservoir of memories and past experiences. These memories are of course built upon the elements discussed above, and therefore your interpretations of reality are only interpretations and not facts. Your interpretations are just a version of reality that you have manufactured based on your life experiences to date. Therefore how you perceive and interpret things are as unique to you as they are to any other person.

Given all this, it appears as though your brain presents you with a very personal and biased view of reality that makes sense to you. As such, there is no right or wrong, there is only one perspective or another perspective. Therefore, everything is as it seems, and not quite as it seems all at the same time.

The brain itself is made up of several components or parts. First, there is the middle brain. This is the part of the brain that controls emotions, sex drive, long-term memory, hormonal drives, and the immune system of the body.

Next is the left hemisphere of the brain. This is the logical part that enjoys thinking in sequential steps. Its often preoccupied with writing, language, mathematics, reading, problem solving and making judgments about space and time. This is essentially the analytical part of the brain that helps you make sense of the world you live in.

There is also a right hemisphere of the brain. This is the part of the brain that enjoys working with the creative elements of life. Its often preoccupied with emotional self-expression, pattern recognition, creative artistry and musical pursuits. Its function and role is very different to the left brain, however its not a separate entity, but rather one part of a whole that works together to shape how you perceive and interpret the world around you.

The final component is the Reptilian Brain. Lets call this the Emotional Mind. This is the primitive brain that consists of the Hypothalamus, Amygdala, and other parts including the Thalamus, Basal Ganglia, Hippocampus and the Brain Stem. These areas of the brain handle many of the automatic emotional responses that are tied to fear, stress, anxiety and worry.

In the event of a perceived emergency or an uncomfortable situation, the Hypothalamus releases neurotransmitters and hormones into the bloodstream that successfully intensify the emotional experiences within the body leading to the fight-flight response. This is only possible because of the Amygdala, which is the storehouse of your emotional memories. The Amygdala assesses the danger of the situation based on past experience (emotional memories), and thusly helps activate the heart and other muscles of the body readying them for action within emergency situations.

You experience an emotion as a result of the hormones that are being pumped through your bloodstream. Your emotions are therefore nothing more than chemicals passing through your body that make you feel a certain way. So whether you feel angry, sad, happy, anxious, in love, or depressed, it all comes down to the chemicals that are currently flooding your bloodstream. And whats even more significant is that the release of these chemicals is dependent upon how you tend to interpret your experience of reality. And of course your experience of reality is tied to your five senses.

What makes one person feel fear, makes another person feel excitement. They are both thinking or looking at the same thing, however they have very different interpretations of this thing. And its these different interpretations that trigger a different cocktail of chemicals that result in varying emotional experiences for both people.

Both individuals look at this thing and ask:

What does this mean?

How must I respond?

If a person views this thing as something that must be feared, then they will respond in fear. And because they are interpreting things in this way, the Emotional Mind will help them out by pumping a chemical cocktail of fear into their bloodstream. On the other hand, another person will view this thing as something that sparks their curiosity and gets them excited about life. In such a scenario, the Emotional Mind will pump out a chemical cocktail of excitement into their bloodstream. As such, this second person responds very differently to these events and as a result has a very different emotional experience.

The first person who responded in fear interpreted their experience in a fearful way based on past memories. Their brain automatically asked What does this mean? And when you ask a question, you often get an answer. And in this persons case, they saw this thing and made sense of their current circumstances by calling upon past experiences (references) that are in some ways related to this thing. And based on those experiences (memories), they successfully made sense of this thing and responded accordingly in a fearful way.

For the second person, they too looked to their past experiences/memories and asked the same question: What does this mean? However, their past experiences/memories werent related to fear, but rather to curiosity and excitement. And as such they responded very differently to this thing than the first person.

There is nothing wrong with reacting in fear. This system is simply a defense mechanism that has been built into the brain to help protect us from harm. However, the flaw in this system is that it works on autopilot. It doesnt interpret reality based on fact, but rather based on past experience (emotional experience). And your past experience is built upon your memories; and your memories are nothing more than interpretations of what might have happened; and these interpretations are often very flawed because they are clouded by limiting beliefs, unhelpful thoughts, psychological rules, and much more that goes on at the unconscious level of awareness.

Reality isnt how it is, it is rather how you make it out to be. And how you make it out to be BECOMES YOUR REALITY.

The brain is only guided by the programming it has received over a lifetime. It thinks and responds to the events and circumstances of your life in very specific ways because thats how it has been trained to respond. If you want to respond a different way, then you will need to interpret things differently. And to interpret things differently you will need to dig deep into your past memories in order to unlock the references you have collected over the course of your life. However, the problem is that many of these references lie below conscious awareness. They are unconscious and tied to automatic thought patterns. And this is the sanctum of the Inner Mind.

The Inner Mind is the part of you that controls your automatic responses, behaviors (habits), and biological functions. It is also the part of you that controls your automatic reactions to people, events and circumstances.

One of the Inner Minds main roles is to ensure that your conscious decisions, behaviors, and actions are consistent with your underlying thoughts, human needs, beliefs, meta-programs, values, psychological rules, wants, intentions, emotions and self-concept.

All of these parts of you are built upon a lifetime of experiences. You form beliefs, values, meta-programs, and psychological rules as a result of your responses to pain and pleasure. In other words, every experience you have-had has either been a painful experience or a pleasurable experience.

When something has been pleasurable, you have associated positive emotions with that experience. However, when something has been painful, you have associated negative, limiting and unhelpful emotions with that experience. And as a result of these experiences you have collected a wide variety of references that have gone into creating your belief systems. And these beliefs influence your values, meta-programs, self-concept, psychological rules, emotions, etc. Likewise all these areas influence your belief systems. Its therefore important to see this as a cycle that constantly revolves with one area always influencing all other areas.

Bringing things back to today, all those beliefs, values, psychological rules, etc, are nothing more than memories that are built upon the references you have collected. And these memories are often flawed and dont quite represent how things used to be. The reason for this is that your memories are entangled with your beliefs, values, psychological rules, etc. Therefore what you think is a perfectly clear memory, is actually far from perfect and certainly not clear.

Your memories are only interpretations of how things used to be. These interpretations are built upon all of the above mentioned unconscious elements of your psyche (beliefs, values, rules, etc). These elements are built upon the references you created that are based on your personal experiences of pain and pleasure. And of course your experience of pain and pleasure might very well been flawed, and as such everything you think is real, is not as real as you think it to be. Its a flawed perspective/memory of reality that is currently influencing your daily choices and decisions.

Your Inner Mind holds everything from your past together at an unconscious level of awareness. All your references, thoughts, beliefs, values, human needs, psychological rules, meta-programs, intentions, etc, are all here sitting deep within the recesses of your Inner Mind. When they all coalesce together they come to form your interpretation of reality. Furthermore, when they all converge together (which is all of the time) they influence the daily choices and decisions you make and the actions you take. They are therefore together influencing every aspect of your life. In other words, for better or worse, they are shaping your destiny. This by itself isnt a problem, however, it does become problematic for most people because of one fatal flaw.

The fatal flaw for most people is that their Inner Mind often has a different agenda than the Conscious Brain. You might want to do, be, have and experience certain things on a conscious level of awareness, however, under the surface of conscious awareness is the Inner Mind that has its own agenda. And its agenda is to ensure that your Conscious Brain does things in accordance with the underlying thoughts, values, needs, beliefs, meta-programs, etc, that have already been programmed into the Inner Mind.

But what does all this mean?

You may very have all these wonderful goals that you would like to achieve. There is no doubt you want to achieve these goals given your level of passion and motivation. However, the reality is that you will NEVER achieve these goals. You will never achieve them because you wont be able to stop yourself from indulging in self-sabotaging behavior. You may therefore make some good progress towards the attainment of your goals, however at one point or another you will do something or fail to do something, and this will put a stop to your efforts.

Why would this be happening?

Remember that your Inner Minds role is to ensure that your conscious decisions, behaviors and actions are consistent with the way you have programmed yourself over a lifetime. And this programming goes back to your interpretations of pain and pleasure, which are based on the experiences you have had. This response to pain and pleasure has formed your beliefs, values, meta-programs, psychological rules and other unconscious elements of your psyche. These elements are now memories that function as an aid to help you make choices and decisions in the present moment. This is fantastic if your current choices and decisions are congruent and consistent with your underlying programming. However, problems arise if your Conscious Brain has a different agenda then whats been programmed into your Inner Mind.

However you have programmed yourself over a lifetime now lies within the recesses of your Inner Mind. Your Inner Minds task is to make sure that you act consistently with this programming. If you diverge from the path, then its the Inner Minds job to get your back on track to make sure that everything stays consistent and congruent.

Your Inner Mind doesnt handle conflict very well. Therefore if you set a goal or task for yourself to do something that goes against the Inner Minds programming, then your Inner Mind will do whatever it takes to make sure that you dont achieve that goal or take that specific action. As such, you will do something or fail to do something and will ultimately sabotage yourself in some way. Your goal will continue to be out of reach, and you will have no idea why you are making next-to-no progress.

The programming that goes into shaping your Inner Mind is a very powerful force. In fact, your Conscious Brain can do very little about it. Its like a dog on a leash after years of obedience school. The dog will listen to everything that its owner instructs it to do. It will listen because it has been trained to respond to pain and pleasure. It knows that when it obeys that it will feel pleasure, and that when it disobeys that it will experience pain. Yes of course the dog might have other desires and wants, however it has been conditioned to act in a certain way over a lifetime, and even though it might want to do something differently, it will stay consistent with how it has been taught to act and respond to specific commands. In a similar way your Inner Mind is the master and the Conscious Brain is the pet that has been trained to act and respond in a very specific way to the events and circumstances of its life.

Now, lets say that the dogs owner suddenly becomes very abusive. In such instances this turn-of-events might very well create enough pain for the dog to act differently and not follow the commands that it has been taught. This will initially be very difficult to do. It has been conditioned to act and respond in a certain way for many years. Breaking this cycle and pattern will not be easy. However, if the dog experiences enough emotional pain as a result of the abuse, it will successfully reprogram itself by resisting the commands from its owner. It might even decide that its had enough, and lash out in anger.

I realize that this is a pretty extreme example, however it does provide some insight into what it might take to break the cycle and to reprogram your Inner Mind in ways that will help support the conscious goals and objectives you would like to achieve.

Reconditioning the Inner Mind will take a great deal of effort. You have a lifetime of experiences that have shaped who you are and what you think and believe. This doesnt change over night, however you can certainly recondition your Inner Mind in a better way over time to ensure that it supports your conscious endeavors.

To recondition your Inner Mind you could use hypnotic suggestion, psychological modeling, and/or visualization. No matter what method you decide to choose, keep in mind that reconditioning comes back to the pain and pleasure principle. The dog went against its automatically conditioned responses when it experienced enough pain to make this change possible. You too must use the principles of pain and pleasure to recondition your Inner Mind in a new way. Pain and pleasure will help create new references, which will help shape your beliefs, and will subsequently influence other areas of your psyche.

You typically have 60,000+ thoughts per day. Ninety five percent of these thoughts are known as habitual thoughts. These are the thoughts you consistently bring to mind every single day. Moreover, these are the thoughts that go into recreating your body and your cells. Yes, your thoughts are creating and recreating your body and cells on a daily basis. This means that you are who you are (physically and emotionally) because of the thoughts you have allowed into your mind. This also means that your health and wellbeing is tied to your thoughts. Your body therefore corresponds to your thoughts in much the same way as your tongue corresponds to the words you use to express yourself. But what is an actual thought?

Thoughts are impulses of information that go into creating molecules (thinking cells). These thoughts are built upon the five human senses of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. As such, thoughts can come in many different forms. However, thoughts most commonly manifest through sight and sound. When you picture something in your head you are at that moment creating a thought. Also when you talk to yourself you are at that moment creating a thought.

Because your thoughts are built upon the five human senses, they are therefore only interpretations of reality. Your thoughts are perspectives you have about the world you live in. These perspectives are based on your expectations. What you expect to see, hear, smell, taste and touch, is what becomes real in your life. As such, your thoughts for the most part correspond to your unconscious tendencies. These tendencies include habits of mind that are built upon your beliefs, values, human needs, meta-programs, psychological rules, self-concept, and emotions. Your thoughts are therefore interpretations of the reality you have led yourself to expect. And this can either help you or hurt you, depending on how you have conditioned yourself over a lifetime.

Your thoughts create Neuro Peptides that trigger the release of specific kinds of hormones into your bloodstream. As such, you cannot have a thought without producing a chemical cocktail in your body that leads to an emotional experience. You therefore experience an emotion because of an initial thought that triggered the release of a chemical within your brain, thereby creating the emotion you are currently feeling. This chemical cocktail of hormones can for instance come in the form of antidepressants, tranquilizers, sleeping pills, antibiotics, and other drugs. However, these are not artificial chemicals injected into your bloodstream by a medical professional. These are chemicals produced by your brain that result from your thoughts. These thoughts come about because of the expectations and perspectives you have chosen adopt.

Because your thoughts create your emotional experiences, they are akin to psychological anchors. You will have a thought and this will result in an emotion. This emotion manifests physically through your body when you tremble, sweat, or blush. Your thoughts are therefore psychological triggers for your emotional experiences.

Your psychological triggers are learned responses that have been conditioned over a lifetime. These learned responses have become habits-of-mind that you have adopted and taken as your own. These habits-of-mind come about as a result of neural formations/connections in the brain.

A neuron consists of an axon, a nucleus and dendrites. When you think a thought an electrical impulse of energy is sent along the synaptic gap between neurons in your brain. These messages create dendrite synaptic protuberances (DSPs), which are formed every single time you talk, think, experience an emotion, and/or take a specific action. These DSPs are the pathways that allow information to travel from one cell to another.

Pathways are created when you have a thought. Pathways are strengthened when you have repeated thoughts about the same thing. And when the same pathway has been used many times over, thoughts cross this pathway with less effort then ever before. And thats how your habits are formed.

Lets use an example of a field with long grass. When you initially walk through this field there will be no evident pathway. You will need to make your own way through the field to reach your house on the other side. However, over the course of days, weeks and then months, you keep walking along the same grass within this field. And as you continue walking on this grass a clear pathway comes into view. The grass along this pathway gets worn out over time, and as a result you are now walking on dirt that clearly outlines the path you must follow to get to your house.

In much the same way thoughts used over-and-over again create pathways in your brain. That first original thought is difficult and uncertain. Its difficult and uncertain because there is no solid pathway for this thought to travel upon. However, as you continue using that same thought time-after-time, you will travel the same pathway. And the more times you travel this pathway the easier it is to walk this pathway because you have successfully created a groove for your thoughts to walk on.

This is how habits are formed. You have a thought, and then you undertake a specific kind of behavior. As the thought and behavior are repeated, the pathway grows more prominent in your brain. As such, the thought and behavior become easier and more effortless to indulge in. Over time, these thoughts and behaviors turn into unconscious habits. You become so proficient because of the depth and strength of this pathway that you form a habit that no longer requires any conscious attention. This is much like walking.

When you tried walking for the very first time you probably had to put a lot of conscious effort into it. However, over time the walking pathways in your brain strengthened, and as a result it became much easier to walk. And then over time after repeatedly walking every single day, you became so proficient at walking that you no longer had to give it any conscious thought or attention. And that is how lifelong habits are formed for better or worse.

Have a think about all the habits you have acquired over a lifetime. Think about your fears, phobias, limiting beliefs, and behaviors. These are all habits that began with a single thought that was repeated over time creating a strong pathway that is now difficult but not impossible to break.

In order to break-free from one of your unhelpful habits, you will need to STOP crossing over the pathway that created this habit. And this means that you will need to start thinking in a different way. You will need to create a new habit, which requires creating new thoughts that will help you to create new pathways that you must repeatedly use over-and-over again until you establish a new habit.

This process of course isnt easy. Establishing a new habit will take time. However, its time well spent if you desire to make positive changes in your life.

When you establish a habit, you call upon your Reticular Activation System (RAS). The RAS is a filter that is applied to the staggering amount of data that gets picked up by the five senses of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. This filter works 24/7, and its the only thing that keeps you from getting overwhelmed by the massive amount of stimuli passing through your sensory organs.

The RAS determines what you will consciously decide to give your attention to at any given moment in time while filtering out the remaining data and information, which passes through into the unconscious mind.

When you establish a habit you also set-in-stone a set of beliefs, thoughts and expectations that go into maintaining and supporting that habit. This subsequently instructs your RAS to only filter through information that is of value to help support this habit and its associating beliefs, thoughts and expectations. In other words, your RAS will only filter through information into your conscious awareness that is aligned with the habit your are indulging in. As such, you never see the full picture. You are instead only seeing a biased view of reality that matches the personal beliefs, thoughts and expectations that help support your habit. Its much like peering through a keyhole. You can see the room through the keyhole, however you never see the room in its entirety. You might for instance notice that the room looks messy, and you therefore assume that the entire room and the house are also messy. However, this may or may not be true.

What all this means is that not only might you be indulging in an unhelpful habit, but you wouldnt even know about it because your RAS is filtering out everything that goes against the beliefs, thoughts and expectations that are supporting this habit. For this very reason, unhelpful habits are very difficult to break. However, difficult doesnt mean that they are impossible to break. If you originally conditioned yourself to do things a certain way, then you can certainly recondition yourself to do things another different way. Awareness is always the first step to change.

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Overcoming a Negative Mental Attitude - IQ Matrix Blog

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 2:5)

Behind every face is a mental attitude, a manner of thinking. You are what you think! God mandates that you think divine viewpointthe mind of Christa perspective of life based on the infallible Word of God. When Bible doctrine is the foundation of your thinking, you will have confidence and stability under all circumstances, an orientation to grace, an inner happiness that produces capacity for life, love, and blessing, and a relaxed mental attitude toward people.

This book is dedicated in loving memory to two faithful servants: Laura Kay Tapping whose spirit of service to the Lord is alive and well in this ministry and my faithful canine companion, Sassy, who spent many long hours at my feet while I studied the Word of God.

The cover, drawn by Katherine Stark Tapping, is a portrait of the personnel of R. B. Thieme, Jr., Bible Ministries in the year of our Lord, 2000. Laura Kay, who went home to be with Lord in 1998, is pictured to the left of Colonel Thieme.

This title is also available:

2000, 3rd impression 2010

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R. B. Thieme, Jr., Bible Ministries Mental Attitude Dynamics

How To Take Advantage of Opportunity and Achieve Success Striped Bass and Music City Opportunity is everywhere. If you learn to recognize and take advantage of the rightopportunities you can achieve success in life. And, the TTO Opportunity Road Trip was a huge success. On the road for a week []

Attitude is Everything Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or []

Success 5 Success Tips fromJim RohnsMotivational Quote Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals. ~Jim Rohn This is such a powerful and inspirational quote. If we want to create success in our lives, we simply have to follow some basic []

Monday Motivation Desire is the key to motivation, but its the determination and commitment to unrelenting pursuit of your goal a commitment to excellence that will enable you to attain the success you seek. ~Mario Andretti Read more motivational quotes.

7 Steps To Achieve Financial Freedom How To Multiply Your Income By The End Of The Year Its mid-year, and by now many of us have given up on the financial goals we set in way back in January. But that doesnt matter, because Im going to share with you []

How To Make Sure Your Financial Goals Actually Happen!Creating Success as an Entrepreneur Its mid-year and usually by now many of us have lost track of the goals we set at the beginning of the year. If you are on track, then consider yourself fortunate or at least persistent. Regardless []

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind A mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously and never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop this picture! ~Dr. Norman Vincent Peale #pma #positivementalattitude #succeed

If at first you dont succeed, try, try again. ~William Edward Hickson Keep trying, you will succeed! #success #tryagain#keeptrying

How To Live A Life Of Abundance The Value of Your Time, Money and Health Reflecting on time gone by helpsme torealize my value to society and my worth to myself. Not the tasks I completed or the purchases I made, but the time I have spent with my family []

With PMA or a Positive Mental Attitude, dreams are realized, motivation is improved and greater confidence is created. You can learn how to program your mind to achieve success with positive input that will motivate you to achieve your goals. Your vision of your world is created by your attitude. []

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PMA101 - Positive Mental Attitude

The benefits of maintaining a good attitude in the wilderness seem implicit. Daily experiences have taught us that mood influences outcomes. But just how does this "Pollyanna principle" affect your brain in survival situations?

A little positivity goes a long way when you're calling a handmade hovel miles from civilization "home." While it may sound like a page ripped from a self-help book, positive mental attitude (PMA) is an integral part of survival.

In general terms, PMA combats your unconscious stress, allowing you to think more clearly and make better decisions. For example, remember how the fight-or-flight response limits the amount of things you observe around you? By improving your attitude and, consequently, lowering your stress, you reinvigorate your awareness of your surroundings. Imagine how vital that would be when sharing habitats with unfriendly neighbors.

But how can you think positively when you're in such a jam? Among the many tips offered, here are some from survival handbooks:

Now we know that looking at the glass half full can increase our chances of survival, but how exactly does that happen? Why can positive thoughts breed positive results?

The study of positive psychology that analyses the effect of positive thinking and emotions on people sprang up a relatively short time ago. Research revealed a link between positive thinking and emotions and successful survival. That's because it opens up global thinking capacities in the brain, allowing for more innovation and creativity. In the wilderness, once your initial needs are met, you will require new ideas and prioritization of tasks to keep yourself alive for the longer term.

Physiologically, PMA reverses the toll of stress on our bodies. Think about your body language when you watch a funny movie. You're often more relaxed than when you see a nail-biting thriller. This loosening up will help you conserve precious energy. Proper wilderness preparation and training also contributes to positive thinking because you will better know how to fend for yourself. That, coupled with PMA, can help you cross the bridge to survival.

Want to learn more tips on surviving in the wilderness?Cruise tothe links on the next page.

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Positive Mental Attitude - How does your brain impact your ...

IN THIS ISSUE:

GETTING OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT AND GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION The Fall and a new season are upon us. Are you really ready? Do you have what it takes to get the VERY most out of your physical abilities this season? Do you know what you need to do in order to elevate your training to the next level? Is this going to be the year that you finally take those crucial steps towards turning that big dream of yours into a reality? How smart and efficient will you be about it? The vast majority of athletes out there enter their new seasons fueled by external motivations. Whether its a fear of getting cut, a dread about how much of your free time is about to get swallowed up, or a knowing that they have to do some painful, distasteful things in order to get ready, these athletes seem to be motivated by a moving away from something unpleasant rather than a moving towards something pleasurable. For example, if I dont do all this conditioning, the coach will be really ticked off at me, or I hate having to do these stupid weights, theyre such a waste of time. Its this kind of negative motivation that will insure that you get the very least from your training efforts. However, if you go into the season actually wanting to train, looking forward to and driven internally by your own goals and dreams, then you will, by far, get the very most out of your God-given abilities. So whats your attitude going to be towards this season? How are you going to approach your training? As an athlete, your attitude makes the performance world go round. A positive one will make it turn in the right directions and take you as far as youd like to go. A negative attitude will spin you out of control, move you away from your goals and leave you wishing you had signed up for underwater basket weaving instead of your Fall sport. In this issue of the Mental Toughness Newsletter we will discuss the importance of training with a winning attitude.

ATHLETES LOCKER The heart of a champion Whats in yours? PARENTS CORNER The apple never falls far from the tree COACHS OFFICE Have you had your attitude checked recently? DR GS TEACHING TALES Dont change the world, change yourself!

ATHLETES LOCKER

The heart of a champion Whats in yours?

At the start of this (2003) rain-soaked (at least in the Northeast) US Open in Flushing Meadows, New York, the tennis world formally recognized the retirement of Pete Sampras with a brief ceremony the first evening of play. Sampras currently holds the record for most grand slam events ever won and is considered by many to be one of the greatest male tennis players in the history of the sport. I dont know about that. What I do know is that over a tennis career that has spanned almost 30 years, Pete was always a class act. He was a true champion, a winner who played with style and heart. Interesting enough, over the years, so many fans missed just how much of a class act this guy really was.

During his career Sampras has had a ton of detractors. He was criticized for being boring, for bringing nothing to the pro game. All he did was win! He wasnt controversial. He didnt swear at the umpires. He just won with class. He didnt throw temper tantrums. He didnt lose emotional control and yell and scream. He just won and was a good sport about it! He was just plain, predictably and totally uninterestingly vanilla. And, oh yeah, did I mention that he just won, and won and won. Critics wanted color in the game. They wanted controversy. They wanted players to be poor sports who threw the finger at the crowd, demeaned the lines people, called the chair umpire unprintable names, smashed their rackets down in disgust and tanked matches when they decided that they just didnt feel like playing that day.

Sampras did none of that! He played hurt. He played sick to his stomach. He played wracked with cramps. He played emotionally devastated after losing his long time coach to cancer. He gave it his all, all the time! He refused to quit. He played with unbelievable heart. He never gave in to his emotions until after his matches were over. He carried himself like a winner at all times, especially when he was out there in front of all those cameras. And for this he was criticized? For this he was called boring?

For the last two years Petes star has been steadily falling. It was clear that he was nearing the end of his illustrious career. He hadnt won a tournament in well over a year. Predictably all the experts pounced on him and said that he was all washed up, finished, over the hill! Last September, 2002 at the US Open he did what he does best. He shut those critics up just one more time with class and style. He spoke loudly without once opening his mouth. He played his heart out and dominated the tournament getting all the way to the finals and, in the process, beat several top ranked players in the world. And then, to make his statement that much more powerful, he faced his long time archrival, Andre Agassi in the Championships and decisively beat him in 4 sets to win the tournament and yet another Grand Slam title.

Want to become a REAL champion? Then model yourself after Sampras! Learn to play with Sampras heart! Learn to control your emotions. Be a good sport. Give it your all, ALL the time, NOT just when you feel like it. Perhaps there is something very wrong with how we as a sports culture measure championship make-up. Maybe we have our priorities completely screwed up that we find boorish, unsportsman-like behavior more interesting than class and heart? Maybe we need loud, cocky, outspoken, immature acting athletes to get us interested and fired up? Maybe we need our role models putting others down and having public temper tantrums like two year olds? Perhaps we are more inspired by cheating and quitting than we are by the Pete Sampras of the world.

Not me! I know a real champion when I see one and the tennis world is out a big one with Sampras retirement. But even if you never watched Pete play, you can still learn something valuable from him right now. Forget the crap you see on television from the majority of professional and high visibility D-I athletes: The grandstanding, celebrating, fighting and cheating. Dont model yourself after athletes who openly feel the need to tell you and everyone within a hundred mile radius that they are Gods gift to creation. A true champion may feel that way inside, that theyre the best, but inside they are also mature and well adjusted enough to understand that its in poor taste to shove that self-centered garbage down others throats.

So like Sampras, ACT LIKE A CHAMPION. Conduct yourself with class and dignity. You may hate losing with a passion. It may be the bitterest of pills for you to swallow. But when you do lose, and you WILL, be a gracious loser on the OUTSIDE. Congratulate your opponent. Concede the defeat while you rededicate yourself to using the loss as a source of motivation for getting better. Dont make excuses for why you lost. Dont blame the refs, the crowd, the playing conditions, bad luck or your teammates mistakes. Take responsibility for the failure. True champions dont make excuses. They dont whine and blame others. Similarly, conduct yourself like a champion when you win. Dont rub it in your opponents face. Dont gloat. Keep the post game on-field celebration respectful. Be a gracious winner because the very next time you compete, it could be YOU at the losing end.

Like Sampras, COMMIT yourself to your sport. Dedicate yourself to excellence. Dont just go through the motions. If youre going to take the time and energy to participate, you might as well go all the way. Commit yourself to becoming the best that YOU can be. Work your butt off. Be willing to sacrifice. Watch what you eat. Take care of yourself physically. Get enough rest. Keep your studies up. Dont cut corners. Champions dont become champions by cutting corners or looking for the easy way out. This means that you must be willing to do more than your best. Instead you must be willing to do whatever it takes to become successful. You must be willing to step outside of your comfort zone on a daily basis.

Be COACH-ABLE. Sampras continued to grow as an athlete right through his career because he was always open to feedback. He always had a coach. Youll never reach your true potential without good teachers. No successful athlete can really go it alone. Dont be hard-headed here. If you think you have all the answers and dont need someone else telling you what to do, then youre flat out wrong and youre deluding yourself. Dont limit your development as a champion. Dont try to re-invent the wheel. Be open to and look for good coaching. Its always the fastest and smartest way to get whereever you want to go.

Be HUMBLE. Champions may feel inside that they are the best. However, they arent deluded enough to really believe that just because they are good at their sport, that this means that they are a more worthwhile person than their neighbor. Being good at athletics makes you good at athletics period! Contrary to popular belief it does NOT make you larger than life! It doesnt make you better than others! You may think that youre a big man on campus because you just won the championship. You may think youre far more important than that little shlub who plays in the band! Keep in mind though that what youre great at is NOTHING MORE THAN A GAME! What really makes you larger than life are the things that REALLY matter. How you hit a baseball or shoot three pointers isnt that important in the game of life. What really matters is how you are as a person. Do you conduct yourself with dignity? Do you respect those that you interact with? Do you make the people around you better? Are you honest and trustworthy? Do you have a generous spirit? Can the people in your life truly count on you? These are the things that REALLY matter!

So if you truly want to go as far as possible as an athlete, if you really want to become a champion, then overall your attitude. Go find yourself a Pete Sampras to model yourself after. Set your ego aside and start acting like a winner. Because, in the end, the only thing that really matters is not whether you won or lost, but HOW you played the game. If you cant look yourself in the mirror after a win and know that you conducted yourself like a champion, then you didnt really win! You cant lie to that guy in the mirror. He/she always knows the truth! PARENTS CORNER

The apple never falls far from the tree

So theres that old clich again, THE APPLE NEVER FALLS FAR FROM THE TREE. Truth be told, its actually a very important principle in parenting and coaching. In fact, if youd like to shape your child in any particular way, then you had better pay pretty close attention to how this parenting (and coaching) principle operates.

So what does this homespun statement really mean? Well, on the surface, its just another version of like father, like son. For good or bad, better or worse, in many ways your kids grow up to be very much like you. While they come into this world with their own, very unique sets of temperament, response-ability and resources, they will still end up more like you than not. Of course, this is an extremely obvious statement for me to make because who else are they going to resemble if not their parents? In addition to the issue of genes, they will be more like you than anyone else because thats what happens when you live with your primary teachers for some 18 odd years.

The fact that you as a parent are your childs most important teacher is another profoundly obvious statement. However, as obvious as this may be, far too many parents lose sight of the obvious: You are constantly teaching and influencing your childs behaviors on a daily basis. EVERY interaction you have with them is yet another opportunity for them to learn. In fact, they ARE learning in every interaction that you have with them and many of these lessons are going on at an unconscious level. It is a fact that as a parent, you CANT, NOT TEACH your children. Even if you are an absent, neglectful parent, you are still continually teaching your children lessons about dependability, responsibility, relationships, intimacy and, depending on how they interpret your absence, their own self-worth. Good or bad, the lessons that they learn from you can last a lifetime and then be passed on to the next generation.

Unfortunately, way too many parents lose total control over what they are teaching their kids. Why? Well dont go off and blame the terrible influence of those friends you disapprove of. And I dont want to hear about all that nasty music that todays young folks listen to or the violent movies that they watch that you think is leaving them twisted. YOU lose total control over what your kids learn because YOU stop being AWARE. Primarily you allow yourself to lose awareness of just how powerful an influence you are. You forget that EVERYTHING that you SAY and DO with your children is being soaked up by them like a sponge. EVERYTHING! They dont miss a trick. They pick up your voice tone, attitude, truthfulness, you name it, and then they go and learn from it!

Forget the words that you use with them because what you say to your children is not nearly as important as how you say it and how you conduct yourself in your interactions with them, your partner and everyone else in your life. Simply put, its who you are as a person that does the primary teaching, NOT what you say. Its the behaviors and emotions that you live and model with them that provide the most powerful teaching. So if you think that you can teach your kids with the do as I say, NOT as I do principle, then youre delusional!

As the youngest of three kids, I regularly watched my father embarrass and humiliate my older brother at the dinner table. I watched him treat my brother as if the poor kid was an idiot. And I learned. Boy did I learn! I learned that if I opened my mouth, the same thing could happen to me. I learned that authority figures will humiliate you the first chance they get. I learned to live in constant fear that this kind of treatment was just around the corner waiting for me in EVERY interaction that I had. And I learned to not trust and be terrified of my father! Did my father have even the slightest clue that this was what he was teaching us? Absolutely NOT! My father was totally unaware and it was his lack of awareness that was so destructive to all of us growing up.

As a consequence of all these early learnings I grew up painfully shy. My father, however, couldnt understand this. He was always trying to get me to speak up, to be more assertive, to not be so timid. But his verbal attempts to teach me these foreign behaviors fell on deaf ears. I had already learned what happens to you when youre assertive and speak up! No way was I ever going to put myself in that situation!

When you forget that youre always teaching your children, and lose awareness of the specific lessons that youre imparting to them in every interaction, then and only then will you end up getting both them and you into some serious hot water. Example: I talked to a swim coach today who was referring one of his athletes to me. He feared that she was on the verge of burnout and didnt know what to do for her. She hadnt taken time off from the sport for several years, swimming almost non-stop year round. She had stopped having fun about 5 years ago, right around the same time that her race times stopped improving. As this coach and I chatted, I was thinking, stick a fork in her, shes done! Shes definitely burnt to a crisp. When I asked for some detail on parental involvement, the real picture quickly emerged.

It turns out that her father had been pushing her to swim ever since she turned 12 and began having some success in the pool. Before then, she was just another average swimmer who loved training and competing, but who wasnt really that good. When dad got a whiff of how talented his little girl was, he decided that he was going to help. He began placing more and more demands on her. If she wanted to take time off and hang out with friends he would discourage it. If she put up a stink about it, hed make her feel guilty. He kept a close watch on her diet, training and social life. He spent time with her after her meets analyzing her races and making suggestions. He did a lot of things that he thought were helpful. He knew she had talent and he wanted to help her maximize that talent. He wanted her to swim in college.

When the girl weakly protested that he was too over involved, he made her feel guilty for it. He refused to listen to what she was saying and, more important, to what she wasnt saying. He was totally unaware that she was getting more and more unhappy. He had no clue that swimming was becoming a distasteful chore for her. All he saw was that her times werent dropping and chocked that up to her lack of intensity when she trained. So he put more pressure on her to work harder! She lost her motivation. She started just going through the motions. She cried at practice all the time. She wanted to quit, but felt trapped. She desperately wanted to try other high school sports but dad wouldnt hear of that and made her feel awful just for asking. Didnt she realize that she would be hurting her swimming career if she did that?

Now, I dont know how this story will end, but I can certainly make some pretty good educated guesses. If things remain as they are, and dad continues to be totally oblivious to his daughters emotional well being because of some crazy need that HE has, then this young woman is heading for some very serious heartache and unhappiness, learning a tremendous amount of destructive lessons along the way. At what point will this poor girl feel that she has to up the ante in order to get her fathers attention? Will she get so desperate that she ends up making a suicidal gesture? She sure sounds pretty depressed to me. At the very least, she will probably quit swimming for good. She has certainly learned to hate the sport over the last five years. And thats probably the most innocuous lesson shes internalized. The other things that shes learning in her current interactions with her dad are lessons no caring, loving parent would ever want a son or daughter learning.

First of all, this young woman is a senior in high school! What has dad been teaching her about trusting yourself, following your heart and listening to your own internal feelings? Whats dad teaching her about being independent and taking care of yourself? Not a whole hell of a lot! Instead this probably well-meaning man is unknowingly teaching his daughter how to be and stay in an abusive relationship! Hes teaching her that its not OK to speak up when youre unhappy and being abused! Hes teaching her to keep her mouth shut, ignore her feelings and passively suffer silently! Hes also providing a lousy male model for her future interpersonal relationships with the opposite sex. Guess what kind of men shell unconsciously be attracted to? Thats right, those without an ounce of empathy that use guilt to get what they want!

And another question for you parents out there: Since when should a parent be that over-involved with their 17 year olds sport? NEVER! Thats not your job! You are NOT the coach or the manager! Your job is to give your soon to be independent young adult full responsibility for his or her sport. It belongs to them, NOT YOU! However, if you insist that you know best and continue to force your opinions and needs on your child, then youll be inviting some serious heartache into your home and will end up making your child an excellent candidate for extensive long-term psychotherapy! Sadly, this is exactly where this dad is going with his daughter.

Finally, what is dad teaching his daughter about their relationship? You can trust me? I really care about you and your feelings? Your happiness is what Im most concerned about? Remember, when you are not aware of what youre teaching your kids when theyre kids, then YOU will ultimately be the one that suffers later! What kind of relationship do you think this young woman is going to want to have with this kind of a father? Do you think shes going to want him to play an active role in the life of her children? How close do you think I wanted to be with my dad after growing up in that kind of abusive environment?

Have you had your attitude checked recently?

If theres one thing that coaches across every sport and at every level really want, its athletes with great attitudes. More than tremendous ability, great strength, solid conditioning, or even an in-depth tactical understanding of the game, an athletes attitude can make or break a coachs experience on the team and his or her ultimate success. This is one of the reasons why the best teams or stronger athletes dont always come out on top. Attitude is what wins. Athletes who work hard, are willing to learn from you and can take constructive feedback, care about the team more than themselves, are positive, enthusiastic and passionate about the sport, and who are unselfish role players are a joy to coach and make your job so much easier.

On the other hand, selfish, cocky, primma donnas who think they have all the answers, who are unwilling to take constructive feedback from you, who are only concerned with their playing time and their publicity, who are disrespectful to you and their teammates, and who are brimming with negativity which they always tend to share with everyone around them can make your life a living hell and get you considering that early retirement on an uninhabited desert island. After a while, talent becomes less and less important when compared with attitude. Great athletes with rotten attitudes DONT make those around them great and certainly DONT win championships. You as a coach are making a deal with the devil every time you ignore your instincts about a player and shut out negative feedback about his attitude because hes so good and you just have to have him on your squad.

So, if attitude is so important to an athletes and teams success, what, if anything does that say about the significance of the coachs attitude? It seems quite obvious to state here that if a coach has a rotten attitude, everyone around him or her will lose. The fact of the matter is that the coachs attitude is 100 times more important than any individual athletes attitude because the coach is in a primary position of teaching and leadership. If the coach is the builder and the architect of a winning program, then who he is as a person, how he acts and his attitude are his primary tools. However, as you read these words, how often have you had the courage to take an honest look at yourself in the mirror? How often to you question your interactions with your athletes? How much responsibility do you take when things go wrong? When an athlete has a persistent and annoying performance problem, do you look to yourself first for the cause or do you simply get frustrated with and blame that athlete for being a head case?

As you well know, modeling is by far your most powerful and effective coaching tool. Its how you carry yourself on the court, field or track and who you are as a person in your day-to-day interactions with your athletes that does the real teaching here. Sure your knowledge of the game is crucial, but your actions and behaviors always speak so much louder and more forcefully than your words. In the end, what you have to say is totally worthless if your attitude demeans or alienates your players while youre saying it. What you have to say will always fall on deaf ears if your behaviors consistently contradict your words.

A few years back I was called in to work with a D-I team by the assistant coaches. It was explained to me that the head coach wasnt really interested in what we were going to be doing because he didnt believe in any of this mental crap. As a result he never came to any of our 5 meetings over the course of the season. I doubt that he had any clue what his closed mindedness was modeling for his players. In private, the assistant coaches complained to me that the head coach was incredibly negative; always putting the players down and just flat out not doing his job. He wasnt teaching them. He just yelled and swore at them for what they did wrong and offered no constructive or positive feedback. In our team meetings, the players bitterly complained to me about this and the head coachs failure to listen to and teach them. They had no confidence and felt that the head coach didnt really believe in them. Furthermore, they felt frustrated by his refusal to accept any kind of feedback from them and felt hopeless to change the situation.

As much as I may walk on water as a Sports Performance Consultant, I dont feel like I even got off the bottom on this one. Truth be told, my efforts, just like the those of the players and the assistant coaches, were doomed from the start because the head coach was negative, closed minded and totally unaware of the impact of his words and actions on those around him. He simply walked around on a daily basis completely out of touch with the reality of his situation! He had absolutely no clue what was really going on for his players and apparently didnt really care. How else can we explain his attitude and behaviors? As a coach you certainly wouldnt want this kind of athlete on your squad. How can you expect to be successful, when you conduct yourself in this manner? This is NOT a winning attitude!

As your new season starts, how about a good dose of courage? Courage to be self-aware enough to take an honest look at who you are in relation to your players and assistants. Courage to be open minded. Courage to be open to feedback from those around you, even if you dont like the feedback. NO ONE can achieve a high level of success without introspection. NO ONE can reach his/her goals without self-awareness. NO ONE can develop a WINNING ATTITUDE without feedback! Remember, FEEDBACK IS THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS!

Dr. G's Teaching Tales

Dont change the world, change yourself

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there was a king who ruled a very prosperous and very large country. Because he had never been to the far borders of his land and he was king of the people, the king decided one day that he would go for a trip to all small hamlets of his country, regardless of how far away they might be. He felt it quite important that he stay in touch with all his people. The trip proved to be quite long and arduous. It lasted many weeks. The poor king spent a fair amount of his journey on foot as he interacted with his people. Naturally by the time he got back to his palace, his feet were blistered, painful and swollen. He bitterly complained to his aides about his physical discomfort because this was truly the first of many times that he would like to go on such a long, but important trip. Unfortunately the roads that he had to follow were very rough and stony, and frequently not even fit for his carriage. Knowing that he had to make the trip sometime again in the not-to-distant future, he sat down with his closest aides in an attempt to figure out how to make the journey, if not more pleasurable, at least more comfortable. No one had any useful ideas. Suddenly the king lit up! A brilliant idea had popped into his mind.

He explained, we will cover all the roads in my kingdom with leather! Why had I not thought of this before! Then I shall walk more comfortably from town to town, village to village! As he and his aides discussed this seemingly brilliant solution they began to consider the reality of accomplishing this task. First, they would have to secure huge quantities of leather, thousands and thousands of cows would be needed. The cost of this alone was staggering, never mind where they would find such a large quantity of cows. Next, they would need many, many skilled workers to prepare and process the leather for the roads. Finally they would also need skilled laborers to lay the leather out and secure it to the roads. As they began to consider the massive costs this project would incur, the kings enthusiasm began to fade. Being a thoughtful man, the king realized that this would be a far too costly and nearly impossible project.

It was at this point one of his wiser aides spoke up. Good king. Why must you spend all that unnecessary amount of money and effort on this project when you can simply cut a few little piece of leather that you can use to cover your feet and keep them more comfortable?" The king was surprised and delighted at the obvious simplicity of his aides suggestion. Of course! he exclaimed, This is a brilliant solution! Why should I waste all that time, money and energy trying to change the roads when I can simply change the comfort of my feet. So he ordered one of his craftsmen to make a "shoe" for himself and the problem was efficiently solved.

I dont know what kind of lesson you take away from this story: perhaps its better to look inward to try to resolve your unhappiness than outward. Rather than investing all that emotional energy trying to change all those around you, youre probably better off looking in the mirror and changing yourself. Its your attitude thats the agent of positive change, not the worlds.

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Positive & negative attitudes in sports | Competitive ...

Adults who practiced loving-kindness meditation daily for nine weeks had more positive emotions, a better sense of self-acceptance and fewer symptoms of depression than those who didnt meditate, according to a 2008 study at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Want to try loving-kindness meditation? Listen tofree audio tracks from UCLAs Mindful Awareness Research Center.

Positive mental attitude tip #7: Use your strengths. Identify your top five strengths. For example, they might include a sense of humor, compassion, curiosity, patience and intelligence. Then try to use each one in a new way every day.

For example, if curiosity is one of your best assets, learn something new, go to a museum youve never been to or read a book by a new author.

This exercise, developed by positive psychologists at University of Pennsylvania, in Philadelphia, reminds you of what you have to offer yourself and others, Layous says. It also encourages positive thoughts and boosts your self-esteem, she explains.

Positive mental attitude tip #8: Share good news.A good grade, promotion or just sleeping late one morning is sweeter if you share it with others, according to a 2010 study at University of Rochester, N.Y.

Positive events are associated with higher self-esteem and reduced depressive symptoms, and just remembering them later can boost your mood, the researchers concluded.Plus social support helps you focus on positive events rather than negative ones, they found.

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Fight Depression With a Positive Mental Attitude ...

By Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D. , the Official Guide To Positive Thinking Average:

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A positive mental attitude is the belief that one can increase achievement through optimistic thought processes. A positive attitude comes from observational learning in the environment and is partially achieved when a vision of good natured change in the mind is applied toward people, circumstances, events, or behaviors (Wikipedia). Since it is difficult to quantify (measure) the effects of a positive mental attitude, it can be considered a philosophy and a way to approach life.

Positive thinking is a discipline that trains the human mind to change a perceived reality by repeatedly making positive mental statements. A person practices positive thinking when they derive a positive sense of well being, optimism, belonging, meaning and/or purpose from being part of and contributing back to something larger and more permanent than themselves. Positive thinking is a process of choosing positive emotions from stimuli in the environment and applying them to perceptions and beliefs. The objective is to create an outlook that translates into a new or better chosen reality.

Experiencing Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude

The practice of positive thinking, repeated positive statements, and witnessing success through a positive mental attitude, is an idea many mystics and spiritual teachers have presented throughout history. Retiring certain emotions and breaking the addiction of old emotional states is a choice and requires persistent effort. A successful mental attitude that includes thoughts of gratitude, unconditional love, and freedom can translate into new perceptions of a persons perceived reality.

Adopting positive thinking with the intention of experiencing change can be accomplished in a number of ways:

Recognize that change is needed.

Believe change is possible. The brain can be re-programmed to provide support in your life.

Give yourself permission to be in control of your own life.

Practice awareness of your emotional state. Your internal state is what creates your external world.

Release past negative experiences and move forward.

Let go of self-criticism and move forward when a challenge arises.

Stay in present moment thinking and affirm powerful and positive thoughts regularly.

Practice verbal harmlessness. Identify and eliminate negative speech habits e.g., I cant, Ill try, or Ive never been able to.

Be thankful for what you have.

Have a positive vision for your life and for others around you.

Live proactively.

Know that you are composed of unlimited Divine Spirit and are an example of uniqueness and wonder.

Positive thinking is associated with empowerment because an empowered thinker is one who masters their emotions and outlook on life. By being aware of our internal state, and how that translates into our reactions and behaviors, it is possible to develop the mind to support who we want to be, rather than being an effect of our world.

For a more complete definition on positive thinking, see The Evolution of Positive Thinking: Views from Science, Spirituality, Psychology and Hollywood by Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.

References: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_mental_attitude http://en.wikipedia.org/Science_of_mind http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affirmation

Keywords: Positive thought, positive attitude, positive psychology, positive mental attitude, success through a positive mental attitude

Author's Bio:

This definition was written by Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D., the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Positive Thinking. Dr. Charlene M. Proctor is the founder of The Goddess Network, Inc. an on-line educational resource for topics on spirituality, relationships, and women's studies. Author of Let Your Goddess Grow! she is a researcher and educator in the field of women's empowerment and develops self-empowerment strategies for women in all walks of life. She is a subject matter expert for Beliefnet.com, the world's largest self-help and personal growth website. Her affirmations from The Women's Book of Empowerment reach 2.7 million web visitors daily. She currently facilitates the PATH to Empowerment program for Lighthouse Path in Michigan, a residential women's shelter for homeless mothers, teaching them how to cope with life and increase self-esteem and confidence. To learn more, visit http://www.thegoddessnetwork.net

Additional Resources covering Positive Thinking can be found at:

Website Directory for Positive Thinking Articles on Positive Thinking Products for Positive Thinking Discussion Board Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D., Official Guide on Positive Thinking

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The Definition of a Positive Mental Attitude - SelfGrowth.com