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Covid-19 Total Well-Being Online Resource Guide – PsychCentral.com

Posted: March 22, 2020 at 4:45 am


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with Rebecca Mandeville, MA, MFT

I wanted to get out a quick blog post to address the current stress many of us are feeling as a result of the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. Below this message you will find a list of resources that I sent out to my psychotherapy and coaching clients today; it is my hope that the resources, articles, and links I included will contribute positively to you and your loved ones mental, emotional, and physical well-being during this global health emergency particularly those of you who have been ordered by your government to shelter-in-place.

Many states and local governments are instituting restrictions on community gatherings, travel, and attendance at work and school, as well as orders to shelter-in-place. This overabundance of caution is meant to help prevent the spread of illness, but can also result in people feeling isolated and restless.

Please be sure to stay connected with your friends and loved ones through phone, text, video chat, and social media; both to check on their well being and to ensure your own social needs are being met.

Take care to maintain as normal a routine as possible, and be sure to get some fresh air, enough sleep, healthy meals and snacks, physical activity and stretching (at least 10 minutes a day), and stay hydrated! If your work or school routine has been interrupted, use the found time to work on a creative project, catch up on reading/podcasts/TV binging, or complete some items on your to do list that have been put off for a rainy day.

Fortunately most of us are not in a high-risk category, but if you do have questions or feel symptomatic, contact your primary care physician, urgent care center, telehealth provider, or other healthcare provider for evaluation.

There is a lot of misinformation being shared in the media and through word of mouth. Please rely on information from the CDC and WHO to ensure accuracy and timeliness of data and guidance.

CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html

WHO: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019

Take good care of you and be well!

With Care, Rebecca

Rebecca C. Mandeville, MA, MFT

Rebecca C. Mandeville, LMFT, is an internationally recognized expert in recovering from the negative effects of being raised in a dysfunctional family system. She served as Core Faculty at the world-renowned 'Institute of Transpersonal Psychology', and is a pioneer in researching, identifying, defining, and bringing attention to what she terms Family Scapegoat Abuse (FSA).

Rebecca works with clients online via a secure video platform as a Counselor and Childhood Trauma Recovery Life Coach. You may email her at [emailprotected] to set up your free online (video) consultation to see if her counseling or coaching services are right for you. You may also visit Rebecca's website to learn more about Family Scapegoat Abuse and her introductory eBook on FSA.

When not seeing clients in her counseling and coaching practices, Rebecca finds inspiration for compassionate living by spending time in nature and caring for her family of animals.

APA Reference Mandeville, R. (2020). Covid-19 Total Well-Being Online Resource Guide. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 22, 2020, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/scapegoat-recovery/2020/03/covid-19-coronavirus-total-well-being-online-resource-guide/

Last updated: 22 Mar 2020 Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.

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Covid-19 Total Well-Being Online Resource Guide - PsychCentral.com

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March 22nd, 2020 at 4:45 am

Posted in Life Coaching

Greg Swepston, as good a man as Marion’s seen, will be missed after his passing this week – Marion Star

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Greg Swepston, left, is pictured with Major League Baseball Hall of Fame member Harmon Killebrew one year at the Marion County Youth Foundation's Charity Celebrity Golf Outing fundraiser. The inscription to him on this picture reads, "Adding both our Major League home run totals together, we have accumulated 573 homeruns!" Besides being a coach, teacher and administrator at Marion Harding, Swepston worked for decades as a pro baseball scout.(Photo: USA Today Network-Ohio file photo)

MARION - There were many sides to Greg Swepston and all of them were good.

Marty Riggs is a retired educator and former athletic director now living in Marion, but that's not how he met Sweppy. Riggs works as an usher at Huntington Park for the Columbus Clippers, and three years ago a stranger who was to sit in his section struck up a conversation.

"He immediately introduced himself to me and asked where I lived," Riggs said."I told him Marion, Ohio, and he immediately said, 'You are now known as Marty Marionto me and whoever I bring to a game at the stadium.'"

The two quickly bonded over baseball, which they both loved, and became good friends withSweppy always sitting in Riggs' section and Riggs sneaking him Cracker Jack or peanuts.

That was Greg Swepston, a gregarious people person where often strangers became friends.

When Dave Gorenflo was in eighth grade in the 1960s at Eber Baker Middle School downtown, Swepston was a young, single, teacher and coach who would often get dinner a block away at Murphy's lunch counter.

One day Swepston gave Gorenflo money to get him a meal. When he returned, Sweppy frantically went through the baglooking for a straw.

"I immediately ran back to Murphys to get a straw," Gorenflo said.

A few weeks later, Swepston asked him to make another food run for him, and Gorenflo made sure he picked up a straw.

"When I delivered supper, he took the lid off his Coke and began drinking," Gorenflo said."I said, 'Coach, there is a straw in the bag,'to which he responded, 'Straws are for sissies.'I still rarely use a straw, and my son will tell you its because straws are for sissies."

That was Greg Swepston, forever playful, lighthearted and fun, setting up a joke that wouldn't pay off for days.

Ed Bell of the Marion Youth Foundation (left) presents a plaque to Greg Swepston acknowledging Sweptson's 16 years as the organziation's celebrity contact committee chairman. During his time as chairman Swepston was instrumental in bringing 52 new celebrities to the Charity/Celebrity Golf and Dinner Outing.(Photo: File photo)

When Harding grad Dave White was in college, he came home in November of 1969 as his father was nearing the end of his life. White went to the hospital to sit with himand offer his mother some rest.

"Alone with my dad, I was having a rough time," White said."He was restless and irritable. I sat down in the dark room to feel sorry for myself. I looked up to see a figure walk into the room. It was Coach Swepston. He stated that he couldnt sleep and thought I might need company. It was 2in the morning."

That was Greg Swepston, kind, empathetic,always thinking of others andalways there when needed most.

Sadly for those who knew him and loved him, Sweppy is gone.

The former Marion City Schools teacher, coach, administrator, athletic director and unofficial advocate for all things Harding, Marion and Marion County died this week after a year-long battle with cancer. He was just days shy of his 82nd birthday.

At least we think he was going to be 82. He might have been much, much older.

Swepston was the AD at Marion Harding from 1983 through 1993, shepherding the Presidents athletic programs through the breakup of the Buckeye Conference and into the Ohio Heartland Conference.

As a member of the OHC, the league's ADs often got together for business at a different restaurant. Turns out Ashland's Ev DeVaul was Sweppy's kindred spirit as he would pull the waitress aside and tell her it was Swepston's birthday so they would get a free dessert. Sweppy dutifully played along every time.

When 1969 Harding grad Bob Cyders ran into Swepston inAshland, he told his former teacher and coach that he looked good, to which DeVaul quipped,"Yeah, he must be 134 years old."

View Gregory Swepston's Obituary on marionstar.com and share memories

Swepston was born in Columbus on March 26, 1938. He graduated from Aquinas College High School in 1956, where his gym teacher was none other than George Steinbrenner.

He worked multiple jobs as a studentat Ohio State, and when he graduated, his first gig was as a teacher and coach in Marion City Schools. Just as friends became family for Swepston, Marion became his hometown.

That's obvious by the number of boards,associations, committees and task forces Swepston was a part of over the decades. However,there was one in which he became synonymous and that was the annual Charity-Celebrity Golf Outing, which is a fundraiser for the Marion County Youth Foundation.

"Each summer as celebrity director for the Charity-Celebrity Golf Tournament, he would work on a time and place for me to interview the long list of celebrities he had been able to get to attend the event," former Marion Star sports writer Bob Putman said. "I have been told the word of mouth from one celebrity to another led to them attending, and it was because of Swep."

Sweppy knew people, lots of people. More so, he had a way of making connections many struggle to make.

"Greg Swepston was one of the finest coaches and administrators I ever worked with," former Harding Principal John Steward said."He had a special talent in his wit and how he worked with people.He understood how to get thebest out of his athletes and was highly respected as a coach."

Swepston was the high school baseball head coach in the late 1960s and early 1970s and spent two years as the head boys basketball coach. Prior to that he coached at all the sub-varsity levels, including football.

"I will always remember the consistent authentic praise we received. It was a demonstration of the instinct he had for bringing out the best in each of his athletes," Cyders said.

To say Swepston was a players' coaches was an understatement. Back when he was coaching baseball, Harding had no buses, so that meant players rode in cars to games.

One day, Sweppy bought a new car and the team was admiring it.

"All-Ohio pitcher Harry Fry, who would be drafted by the Cleveland Indians right out of high school, said 'Coach, can I ride with you this year?'Without skipping a beatCoach Swepston retorted, 'If you make the team Fry,'" Gorenflo said.

Greg Swepston(Photo: Submitted)

Even though his career took him away from coaching, sports were central to his life. He worked as a talent scout for the Montreal Expos and Boston Red Six for decades, so baseball was his first love. Or was it?

Ohio State football and basketball were centerpieces for him as well.

For six of the last eight New Year's Eves, WMRN's Jeff Ruth and his son Bryan would have dinner with Swepston and his brother Barry wherever the Buckeyes were playing their bowl game.

"He would never, ever let us spend a dime on anything," Ruth said."He would always lead the restaurant in chants of OH-IO and loved his beloved Buckeyes."

That love went back to his youth when Heisman Trophy winner Hopalong Cassidy was starring for Ohio State. That's why Swepston always wore No. 40 when he was a standout prep baseball player who also played semipro ball.

Dave Webster was with Sweppy for Ohio State's first football game after the death of Cassidy this fall. A reporter looking for a Cassidy angle asked Webster if he thought Swepston would be a good person to talk to.

"I told him that with Greghe hit the jackpot," Webster said."He spoke with Greg for a good 10-15 minutes, and in the fourth quarter came to our seats to get some more video footage."

Just as important to Swepston was Harding High School athletics. Long retired from the school, he never removed himself from its sports. He spoke every year at the basketball banquet and was ever-present at all kinds ofgames, still making connections to current athletes. He was a charter member of the Harding Hall of Fame committee and was inducted into the hall in 2004.

"He particularly would provide us with stat sheets and game summaries for basketball games with underlining, highlighting on a card stock paper the day after the games," current Harding AD Sean Kearns said."When he dropped them off to the athletic office, he would always accompany the report with a moon pie, ho-ho or other pastry."

That was Greg Swepston, as good a man as Marion's ever seen.

rmccurdy@gannett.com

Work 740-375-5158

Cell 419-610-0998

Twitter @McMotorsport

Instagram @rob_mccurdy_star

Former Marion Harding baseball coaches past and present pose for a photograph at the 2011 First Pitch baseball banquet held at Harding High School. From left is Chad Thrush, Brett McCrery, Greg Swepston, Mike Pace, and Larry Merchant.(Photo: James Miller/The Marion Star, James Miller/The Marion Star)

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Greg Swepston, as good a man as Marion's seen, will be missed after his passing this week - Marion Star

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March 22nd, 2020 at 4:45 am

Posted in Life Coaching

Our Sporting Lives with Alan Solomons: Someone told me I’d never leave and they were right – Helen’s Bay is still home to me – Belfast Telegraph

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On first visit, Alan Solomons could never have known that Ravenhill, its stadium and its people, would have such a profound effect on his life.

s an assistant with the Springboks, the night the South African 'A' side arrived in Belfast in 1998 was far from the most glamorous stop on their tour.

Sandwiched between full-blown Test matches against Ireland and England, the game against the Irish second string was something of an afterthought.

Indeed the 'Boks frontliners were already in London preparing for Twickenham while their dirt-trackers were in front of a 10,000-strong crowd and dismantling a team that included the likes of David Humphreys, Anthony Foley, Jeremy Davidson and a then-uncapped tight-head named John Hayes.

While the world champions moved on without much of a second thought, Solomons next visit to these shores would last considerably longer.

In many ways, it's still ongoing.

Three years later, his coaching career had looked set to take him to New Zealand before he got word of interest from Belfast, erstwhile Ulster back-rower Dion O'Cuinneagain helping to sell his former coach on the idea.

"It was out of the blue but Syd Miller, who is one of the finest rugby people I've ever met, spoke to Rian Oberholzer who was the chief executive of the South African Rugby Union at the time," Solomons remembers. "I had done the Stormers for years and I had a concrete offer elsewhere but I thought it was something that I had to give consideration. I didn't know much about Northern Ireland at all but I spoke to Dion who I'd coached at Western Province and even further back from the University of Cape Town. Dion was very fulsome in his praise of the province and the people.

Ravenhill was very different. Not the fancy place it is now which looks great, but I loved that old stadium, I really did.

"He just said it was a great place, he was so positive that it definitely had a big influence on my decision.

"I met with everyone and weighed everything up. The people that I met on the rugby committee all seemed very nice so I thought, let's take this opportunity and I took the job.

"I flew to Belfast at the end of June 2001, not long before the twelfth. We were staying on the Lagan at first where there was a bit of activity but we quickly loved the place. The people were fantastic.

"One of the first talks I gave was at a rugby club and a lady came up to me and told me that I'd never leave.

"And I haven't. For all the jobs I've had since, it's still Helen's Bay and my house there that's home."

A former lawyer who specialised in litigation, Solomons joined Ulster at an interesting time. By and large, the European Cup winning side of 1999 had gone their separate ways and the team had won only once in the Heineken Cup since that unforgettable day against Colomiers in Lansdowne Road. Further still, he would be guiding the side into uncharted territory, his first game in charge coming against Swansea as the Celtic League, precursor to the PRO14, began its inaugural campaign.

A man who took his rugby so seriously he famously would have players train on Christmas day during his early career, the native of the Eastern Cape quickly set about addressing the work required to bring his new side up to speed, authoring his "Vision Ulster" document that outlined problems with player conditioning, skill levels and the lack of a pathway for young players.

"In fairness, Ulster had never really been a professional team," he says. "There just weren't enough games. There were just the interpros and the European games. I felt that in terms of professionalism, they hadn't been exposed to it. In South Africa, to be honest, I was saying from the early 80's, the game may as well have been professional. When I was coaching in the university, the provincial guys were all getting paid then. I know just from some of my mates that there were guys getting paid in the 70's. Professionalism had been there for a long time.

Close

Alan Solomons returned to the revamped Ravenhill with Edinburgh but it was the old ground that stole his heart.

INPHO/Presseye/Matt Mackey

"From my career, I'd been exposed to a lot and part and parcel of the job was to bring that to Ulster. Immediately I thought that everyone was very supportive, from Mike Reid the CEO to my assistant Sarah Sherry, but we had deficiencies in certain areas where we needed to get players that would help bring things along.

"We signed players who knew all about what was needed, people like Rod Moore who came through the Brumbies, Kempo (Robbi Kempson) who came from the Sharks and Matt Sexton who came from the Crusaders, they really helped the process. It was about bringing that experience of professionalism to Ulster."

Improvement was stark and the reputation of Ravenhill as one of the toughest places to visit in Europe restored. Solomons' sides went undefeated in his final 21 games in BT6, a mark that, although recently equalled by Dan McFarland's current side, remains the province's longest ever run in the pro era.

"When I arrived, I was used to Newlands, which was state-of-the art then. Ravenhill was very different," he recalls.

I remember saying to Neil Best, 'I don't think this guy wants to be here today, you go out and make sure.'

"Not the fancy place it is now which looks great, but I loved that old stadium, I really did.

"The first game, it was sold out and it had an unbelievable atmosphere.

"What I loved about Ulster was that they had supporters, not fans. A fan is here today and gone tomorrow but supporters are the people there through thick and thin. When I came there, yes it had been a little bit tough in the seasons just past but the supporters were still there in their droves and I really respected that.

"As we progressed and developed as a team I believed in my heart and soul, and was proven to be right most of the time, that nobody could beat us there.

"We were a physical outfit. We didn't have the big names but we had good players. Kempson, Moore and Sexton up front, Jeremy Davidson who had played for the Lions, Andy Ward, David Humphreys and Tyrone Howe who had all played for Ireland.

"We were good but more important was that teams didn't like playing us and they didn't like playing there (Ravenhill).

"The weather wasn't the finest, and guys would come to this ground with all the tradition, all the history and the atmosphere and it just wasn't welcoming.

"I remember one game we were playing against Leinster, a wet and windy night in Belfast, and they had an Irish international in the back-row.

"I remember saying to Neil Best, 'I don't think this guy wants to be here today, you go out and make sure.'

"Which, being Neil, of course he did."

His time at Ulster, which brought with it silverware in the shape of the first edition of the short-lived Celtic Cup, would come to an end in 2004 before an ill-fated stint at Northampton lasted just ten games. Spells with the Southern Kings and Edinburgh followed before he was back in the Premiership and his current role as Worcester Warriors Director of Rugby.

Knowing that the IRFU's desire for indigenous coaches meant Mark McCall had long been seen as his natural successor at Ulster, it's a similar gig to the one he once hoped for in Belfast. And it's the similarities between the squad he has now at Sixways and the one he once nurtured at Ravenhill that keep him so invested in the game as he approaches his 70th birthday this summer.

"I remember before my last year at Ulster we went to Durban for a camp and Andy Ward, who was a fantastic captain for me, said it was like a creche, we had so many youngsters coming through," he says. "Tommy Bowe, Neil McMillan, Neil Best, Seamus Mallon and Roger Wilson, they were all coming through then and it gave me a real kick.

"I'm a university man at heart, back to my days coaching in Cape Town and I love to see young players coming through. Everywhere I've been, back in South Africa with Bobby Skinstad, Percy Montgomery, Robbie Fleck, at Edinburgh with Jamie Ritchie, Magnus Bradbury, Hamish Watson, Blair Kinghorn, when I look at our guys in Worcester now, it's the same and it gives me that same kick.

"Obviously the world is a different place now and the people have changed but for me I suppose it seems seamless because I've never been away from it, I've never stopped coaching.

"Technology changes but the basic principles don't move greatly. Core values still resonate with young players and young people.

"I've a simple philosophy. The three most important things are integrity, selflessness and professionalism. Those things resonate and always have.

"You look at the people before you look at the players and we've some great people at Worcester.

"It's been a tough old job but I'm so optimistic about where we're going."

No sign of retirement in the offing just yet. The lure of Helen's Bay will wait that little bit longer.

Belfast Telegraph

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Our Sporting Lives with Alan Solomons: Someone told me I'd never leave and they were right - Helen's Bay is still home to me - Belfast Telegraph

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March 22nd, 2020 at 4:45 am

Posted in Life Coaching

North Kitsap needs to pay its coaches – Kitsap Sun

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Joyce Willson, Hansville Published 8:31 a.m. PT March 20, 2020

Thank you, Kitsap Sun, for addressing the coaches stipends in your March 19th article, 'Not all school districts planning to pay coaches.'

As the article noted, most districts plan to pay coaches. Unfortunately, the North Kitsap School District (NKSD) intends to pay the coaches for only eight days, a prorated amount for the time before everything was called off. Why is NKSD refusing to pay these hardworking, dedicated employees? The money saved by not paying coaches is only a small part of the more significant savings of canceling all sports.

Coaches get paid for the season they coach, which does not account for the actual work they perform during the off season. Coaches spend time planning for the season, assess equipment needs, take classes, fundraise, work with parents, and many other activities.

When you ask anyone, Who was the most influential person during your high school years? the majority answer, my coach. Coaches spend more time with students than most other school employees. They are with students a minimum of three hours a day, six days a week. Besides coaching, they provide life skills, positive attitudes, lessons on sportsmanship, and the rewards of hard work.

Coaches have not stopped coaching because of the suspension of spring sports. They continue to provide general suggestions to their athletes on how to stay in shape, how to improve their technique, and keep parents updated.

NKSD needs to take a lesson from the other Kitsap County schools and pay their coaches!

Joyce Willson, Hansville

Read or Share this story: https://www.kitsapsun.com/story/opinion/readers/2020/03/20/north-kitsap-needs-pay-its-coaches/2884119001/

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North Kitsap needs to pay its coaches - Kitsap Sun

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March 22nd, 2020 at 4:45 am

Posted in Life Coaching

SCCC football on strong foundation to start – New Jersey Herald

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A little less than four months since SCCC approved fielding New Jerseys first junior-college football program, Todd Poltersdorf, the Skylanders head coach and schools director of admissions, said there are just shy of 70 players committed to compete in its opening season.

If the season started tomorrow, the Sussex County Community College football program would have more than enough players to line up for kickoff.

A little less than four months since SCCC approved fielding New Jerseys first junior-college football program, Todd Poltersdorf, the Skylanders head coach and schools director of admissions, said there are just shy of 70 players committed to compete in its opening season.

The overwhelming support from the community has been awesome, Poltersdorf said. Everybody keeps saying the same message: Finally! Its finally here! I think its important. Obviously its the first one, thats historical, but the support, not only on our campus but in the county, has been great.

The jerseys and helmets are ordered and workout plans initiated for the Skylanders inaugural team. A staff of seven coaches is now in place.

Poltersdorf can begin holding practice for a limited time in mid-June with official camp due to begin on Aug. 3.

The Skylanders have 10 games scheduled and will play their home games on Saturday nights at Newton High School. They are set to open the season on Aug. 29 at Hocking Community College in Nelsonville, Ohio.

We are looking forward to the addition of football, as well as wrestling, to our athletic offerings, SCCC athletic director John Kuntz said. These two sports will help to generate more excitement about SCCC sports, and Im sure will add more success to our already successful sports team.

Poltersdorf has spent the last three months speaking to high school coaches across the state and attending clinics to get the word out about the new program. Some coaches learned the news and reached out to Poltersdorf themselves.

The team has recruited throughout the state of New Jersey, along with Pennsylvania, New York and as far as Washington, D.C.

We wanted to establish recruiting ties in the state of New Jersey where we could start building a relationship with high school coaches and being able to have kids transition to us, Poltersdorf said. Thats important. In anything you do in life, you need to have relationships.

Coaches need to trust you that youre taking care of their kids and youre going to help those kids move onto the next level. Thats the blessing of being able to say were the first program is we can establish those ties in some of the areas in New Jersey.

The creation of SCCCs football team will also allow area fans to watch some of Sussex Countys high school standouts for another two years.

Former Herald Player of the Year Jacob Mafaro of Kittatinny, along with 2019 Herald First Teamers Nick Molinari of Lenape Valley, Sussex Techs Brendan Hall, Hopatcongs Roger White and Wallkill Valleys Cole Weekley, are all committed to play for the Skylanders next fall.

Its really about trying to find the pieces to the puzzle that are going to fit your offense, fit your defense and trying to build, Poltersdorf said. When you build any team, you want kids that are going to fit your scheme and your system. It wasnt a question of, Hey, lets take this kid because hes a body.

From the beginning, it was about, What kids are going to fit us best at what were going to try to do from an offensive standpoint and from a defensive standpoint?

Poltersdorf, who spent the last six seasons coaching between Sussex Tech and Wallkill Valley, said he expects the Skylanders to deploy a power-running scheme on offense.

On defense, where Poltersdorf has spent most of his time coaching recently, SCCC hopes to fly to the ball and play physical.

Were going to be a team that tries to control the ball, the line of scrimmage and the possession time, Poltersdorf said. We want those things in our favor and we want to be able to keep some of the high-powered offense that were playing on the sideline as long as possible. To do that, it starts with having a physical mentality.

Around 50 of the committed players have already met with the staff to begin a lifting program.

Now, Poltersdorf has to make sure everything else is in place to start practicing less than three months from now.

And he will try to continue to build a strong foundation to sustain the SCCC football program for many years to come.

I hope we continue to get to our numbers, Poltersdorf said. Our goal has always been to get to that 70 or 75, which I definitely think well get to. I would really love to see us get to that 85 or 90 mark, thats where Im pushing to go now.

I have to thank the support of the community and the school and everybody who has been involved in this process. I think its going to be awesome.

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SCCC football on strong foundation to start - New Jersey Herald

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March 22nd, 2020 at 4:45 am

Posted in Life Coaching

Breast cancer at 30, double mastectomy – and removing implants ‘best thing I ever did’ – Stuff.co.nz

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STACY SQUIRES/STUFF

Kylie Tolman has started up a charity which cares for cancer patients once their treatment is finished.

When Kylie Tolman found a lump in her breast 12 years ago at the age of 30, she assumed it was a cyst.

She was too young for cancer, there was no history of the disease in her family, and she'd hadcysts before, so feltno need to panic.

But when she went to have it checked by her doctor, she was thrown a curve ball that turned her life upside down.

CHRIS SKELTON/STUFF

After having both breasts removed, Kylie Tolman has learned to love her body and hopes by showing her "battle scars" she will inspire others.

"Luckily my GP was really onto it straight away and sent me for a biopsy and a mammogram," she said."Within seven days I was diagnosed."

READ MORE: *It's hard to hide the reality of cancer treatment from a child *Life-extending breast cancer drug Ibrance to be fully funded from April

It was stage three of an aggressive triple negativebreastcancera rare form of the illness that does not have any of the receptors commonly found in breastcancer.

CHRIS SKELTON/STUFF

Kylie Tolman, happy, healthy and confident after breast cancer.

"It really hadn't been on my radar so it was all a real blur.

"Making the call to my mum was really tough."

Tolman had no time to process the diagnosis as she went from one appointment to the next on auto pilot.

STACY SQUIRES/STUFF

Tolman founded C.A.R.E.S. Charitable Trust to help cancer patients adjust to the new normal once their treatment is finished.

Her best chance was a full mastectomyand, because of the cancer's aggressive nature, she had no time for breast reconstruction before her treatment needed to start.

She had one breast and18 lymph nodes removed from her armpit.

"Losing my breastdidn't worry me, I just wanted [the cancer] gone."

STACY SQUIRES/STUFF

With mental health services stretched in Canterbury, the charity fills some of the gaps.

After chemotherapy she looked into reconstruction and had her other breast removed, which alleviated worry about whether the cancer would return.

She had silicone implants fitted two years after the surgery but never felt comfortable with them they always felt tight. Shehad them removed when they rupturedin 2018.

"I told my surgeon 'I want them out and I don't want them back'. It was the best thing I ever did."

Rhea Duffy - Photographer

With the support of husband Andrew and sons Olly, 14, and Louie, 6, Kylie Tolman has learned to love herself again.

Her husband, Andrew, was 100 per cent behind her decision, she said, and never thought she was less of a woman he was just focused on her health.

"My breasts don't define me. Everyone is different but you can learn to embrace your body, and you can still look sexy without breasts," Tolman said.

"Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes anyway, so what is normal?"

Rhea Duffy - Photographer

Tolman had both breasts removed and received implants, but later had those removed too.

But Tolman hadn't always been as accepting of herself. Back home and recovering after the initial treatment and hospital appointments, she began to feel quite low.

She had the Cancer Society meetings and great family and friends supporting her, socouldn't understand why she was so emotional.

"Mental health, or PTSD, it wasn't talked about much, and I really struggled emotionally. I felt like a failure for not feeling happy to be alive."

CHRIS SKELTON/STUFF

Kylie Tolman says her breasts do not define her.

About four years ago, Tolmanwent on a personal development journey and began to accepther feelings werenormal.

"I started sharing my story and got a life coaching certificate to get the tools to help other people find their new normal."

She formed C.A.R.E.S. Charitable Trust in July to fill the gap left by overloaded mental health services, particularly in Christchurch.

She now coordinates speakers, helps establish local networksand provides support for anyone who has finished cancer treatment.

The charity has a closed Facebook page for people to share their stories and support each other.

"Cancer is becoming more prevalent, and over time the needs are going to be bigger and bigger.

"[C.A.R.E.S.]in North Canterbury at the moment but I would love to take it nationwide."

Tolman said there was already some supportavailable for people who had finished treatment, but it included people at various stages of the illness and treatment process.

"For some people they don't want those triggers, to be reminded of what they went through, so [C.A.R.E.S.] is specifically for people who have finished treatment."

The charity is a finalist fora MainPower Community Grant, voting for which closes on Friday.

Stuff

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Breast cancer at 30, double mastectomy - and removing implants 'best thing I ever did' - Stuff.co.nz

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March 22nd, 2020 at 4:45 am

Posted in Life Coaching

St. Paul taps Kennedy as new football coach – The Southington Observer

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Chris Kennedy of Southington will take over as the head football coach of St. Paul Catholic High School for the 2020 fall season replacing long-time coach Jude Kelly who has retired after 46 years of coaching high school football in Connecticut.

Kennedy said in a press release, I couldnt be more excited or proud to be the next head football coach at St. Paul. My goal is to take the next steps in our progression to being a perennial contender within our division and the NVL. Ive spent well over two decades preparing for this opportunity and am beyond ready to get to work.

Kennedy played for Kelly at Southington High School. For the past 16 years, he served as one of the head assistant coaches, a head offensive and/or defensive coordinator under Kelly.

Kelly said in a press release, Chris is a great leader; a hard worker; he understands and can relate to the players he coaches. I wish him well and am confident the players he coaches will learn valuable life skills and lessons on the football field that they will then represent positively in the St. Paul classrooms and community.

St. Paul Athletic Director, David Dennehy said in a press release, I am very excited for the future of the Falcon football program under Coach Kennedys leadership. His passion and knowledge of the game is evident if you spend 30 seconds with him. Having been part of our school community for the past 16 years he understands what our school community is all about and is committed to supporting our core values and instilling the values and life lessons that come with the game of football that go well beyond wins and losses.

Kennedy also has coached the St. Paul boys lacrosse coach since 2016. As coach, he has helped to put St. Paul win two league titles and earn four straight state tournament appearances.

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St. Paul taps Kennedy as new football coach - The Southington Observer

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March 22nd, 2020 at 4:45 am

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COLUMN: What made Filberto a legend was everything – The Daily Times

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SPEAKING Weir High coach Tony Filberto speaks to his team following the Red Riders defeat to Fairmont Senior at the Class AA semifinals on Nov. 24, 2018. -Joe Catullo

One of the things retired Weir High football coach Tony Filberto is sure of right now is that he made the right decision to retire at age 70.

Today, its the right decision, said Filberto, who got his first taste of football way back in 1958 at the age of 8 as a quarterback on the first Wellsburg Colts team. Well have to wait and see as we get into summer and fall and so on.

This is his second retirement, and who knows? Maybe hell get the itch again to coach like he did in 2008 when he got back into it as head coach at Oak Glen High School. Then, he took a team that had won three games in the previous three years and went to the playoffs three straight years.

I have been fortunate to cover his head coaching career in the 2000s. I wrote about his Weir High teams from 2002-04 and when he came back to the Red Riders in 2012. I also talked to him weekly when he coached at Oak Glen from 2008-11, writing preview stories for the Thursday football preview tab and also covering a few of the Golden Bear games.

There were times when his teams lost a close game or things just didnt go right on Friday nights, and probably times when I called weekly (usually on Mondays) for the preview that he had other things he either should be doing or preferred to be doing.

On those rare occasions, he always was gracious, answered all the questions I presented and did it as a professional. He seemed to have a short-term memory and put those things behind him and look forward to the next challenge.

I saw him in the locker room at Weir High a couple of weeks ago when I was there to talk about the baseball preview with the diamond coaches and said, Im going to miss you. He replied, Im going to miss you, too.

I think we developed a bond of trust where he knew without us saying it that I wasnt there for sensationalism, but to simply report on Weir High football and give the players the credit and publicity they deserved. And I know he was there to work with the players and make them the best they could be on and off the field.

In our recent interview, Tony talked about one of the things he is taking with him is the relationships he has had with so many young men over the nearly 42 years of coaching. He noted that more than a few of his former charges still call or send cards and letters or communicate via email and social media. Thats special to me, he said.

Tony and his wife, Roseanna, are special people gracious perhaps because of their Italian heritage. I hardly know Roseanna, except for saying hello to her once in a while after a football game at Jimmy Carey Stadium when she always went to the sideline for a moment with her husband. But, on one occasion, she invited me to their home for Sunday dinner. I couldnt do it at the time, but I know I missed out on a scrumptious pasta meal.

I grew up in downtown Steubenville amongst a lot of Italian families with kids my age and still remember fondly their graciousness when one of my friends would invite me in for a Sunday family dinner. Like the Olive Garden slogan: When I was in their home, I felt like family.

I also remember being in Tonys office in the locker room at Weir High, interviewing him for the annual preview of our teams published in the award-winning Gridiron. It usually was when the team had a break between the morning and afternoon practice sessions. Tony always had several brown lunch bags on his desk, and he would go into the locker room and ask if anyone forgot their lunch. The kids knew they could get one in his office. Tony told me that Roseanna would make those lunches in the early morning before he left his Wellsburg home for the pre-season practices on hot early August days.

Tony joked abut perhaps retiring at the wrong time.

Its funny. You retire and want to do all these things, and with this virus youre not allowed to do anything, he said. I do get to take a nice long walk in the mornings with the dog, and thats something I seldom got to do. I should have stayed and worked and got to stay at home like everybody else and still got paid.

Filberto did a lot of things on the football field with numerous playoff appearances, was part of a state championship (1998) as an assistant coach and was inducted last year into the West Liberty Hall of Fame where he lettered four years and received ALL-WVIAC honors as a smallish lineman (220 pounds). He rebuilt football programs at Oak Glen and Weir High (twice) that were on life support before he took the head job.

In his first stint at Oak Glen, he coached the West Virginia Hunt Award recipient, Jeff Woofter, who went on to star as a Penn State lineman. Woofter became the head football coach at Oak Glen, and Filberto followed him when he got back into coaching in 2008. He also coached Quincy Wilson, who won the Kennedy Award as the best player in the state, along with Zac Cooper, the top defensive player in the state.

But, he said the high point of his coaching career was when his sons, Joe and Eric, played on the Weir High football team in 1997 and the state championship team in 1998. That family affair was special to him.

Another special time for him was the 1998 state championship game at Wheeling Island Stadium when the Red Riders, before a standing-room only crowd, beat DuPont in a 20-17 thriller for the Class AA title. I remember it was 64 degrees at game time on the first Saturday in December, and they had to set up additional bleachers in the end zones to accommodate the crowd, he said.

Filberto, the winningest football coach in Oak Glen history and the second winningest in Weir High history, said he thinks hell be involved in the game of football in some way. He already has done a football roundtable with several other Ohio Valley coaches on WTRF-TV, and he also will stay involved with the Ohio Valley Coaches Association.

He said doing traveling coaching clinics like the one he hosted at Weir High the last couple of years interests him.

They have a circuit and I think I would like to try that, he said. I wouldnt do the Xs and Os, but I think my strongest point is in program building. I twice rebuilt Weir High and once a Oak Glen so I think I could help some coaches in that area.

Whatever he does, it will be a long way from Brooke High School where he won all-state honors, or West Liberty as assistant coach at tiny Jewett-Scio where he took his first coaching job in 1974 and got his first head coaching experience in 1975, or a year working in a coal mine, or his head coaching stints learning the hard way as a young man at Oak Glen and Madonna, or a number of years as an assistant at Weir High under Dan McGrew and Wayne Neely.

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COLUMN: What made Filberto a legend was everything - The Daily Times

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March 22nd, 2020 at 4:45 am

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LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS AMAZING, AND YOU WOULDN’T EVEN WANT IT THAT WAY. – Thrive Global

Posted: March 19, 2020 at 12:44 am


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Some time ago I had a consultation with a prospect.

It went like this:

Prospect: I want to feel amazing all the time.

Me: Are you sure that this is what you want?

Prospect: Yes.

Me: Ok, lets do a health check on it

Of course, we think we want to feel great, amazing, ecstatic, accomplished (you pick your own high) as much as and as often as possible, ideally all the time. But its exactly this expectation that makes us feel miserable because we dont feel amazing all the time.

You cannot, you will not, and do not even want to feel amazing all the time, youd get sick of it.

The way society is these days makes us think we should be feeling constant climaxes and peak experiences. Why wouldnt you, right? Seems like others are. See their Facebook and Instagram and what they say.

Well, dont forget people typically broadcast the best parts of their lives, especially on social media. Photos of holidays, new cars, new houses, amazing this and amazing that. In the big picture, be grateful for that. Better than if everyone were complaining.

But also understand that these are the highlights of their life (often exaggerated for an ego stroke; we all have been there). Everyone is trying to market themselves in the best light possible, and thats understandable. We want to look good but just take it with a pinch of salt.

Think about it as a movie trailer. They always show the best seconds from the movie, the mind-blowing effects, explosions, actions, to make you go WOW, suck you into watching the whole movie because it must be so amazing. You dont expect the whole movie to be that way though, do you? This is the same.

Even the happiest people you know dont always feel amazing.

Im a life coach, and I work on being on top of my stuff and mood every day, and yet I had a pretty crap leave me alone kind of day yesterday. But I know these days come now and then (especially if you run your own business), and I embrace them.

Why? Because of days like this, I feel amazing.

Think about it: PEAK experience!

Have you ever gone hiking of climbing?

If you have, you know its the whole process that makes it a great experience. Dont believe me? How satisfying would it actually be to just be dropped off by a helicopter on the top, have a look and fly back down? Going from the base of the mountain, climbing little by little to the top, sometimes for hours or even days, leading to the sweet moments on the top. Its the contrast that makes it amazing. Its the difference between the high and low.

Wanting to feel amazing all the time would be like wanting to be on the top all the time. It would mean no valleys, no lows. It would then look like this.

How does it feel? Its anything but exciting. Its a flat line. If you dont have lows, you dont have highs.

An old friend of mine used to tell me a story about how there was a time in his life when he had it all. He had money, cars, girls, position, everything he wanted. Life couldnt have been easier for him.

It seemed like he was at the peak all the time, and so it reached the point when he looked up one day and said: God, universe, please hit me or do something because Im tired of everything going so well.

He got what he asked for. He got an opportunity to climb, reach the peak again, and experience the high again.

The truth is that these peak experiences are and should be just a seasoning of life. It doesnt mean that all the other times youre supposed to feel miserable or depressed. Not at all. Most of your life you actually feel fine. If you feel mostly low or depressed, then you should speak to a professional. But expecting to feel amazing all the time will backfire by you feeling crap because you wont actually feel amazing all the time.

When you are at your peak, enjoy it, experience it, savour it, because it shall pass. There will be a new low whether its because life knocked you down, or because you create it by finding another mountain to climb.

Remember, its the lows that make you appreciate the highs.

Your Life Coach, Tomas Svitorka

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LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS AMAZING, AND YOU WOULDN'T EVEN WANT IT THAT WAY. - Thrive Global

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March 19th, 2020 at 12:44 am

Posted in Life Coaching

What could’ve been: Fairview-Scobey was championship 40 years in the making – MontanaSports

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MISSOULA -- State championship Saturday at Dahlberg Arena was supposed to make history. It did, of course, by not being played after state basketball tournaments across the state were canceled following Friday's semifinals, crowning the winners co-champions.

The boys basketball teams at Fairview and Scobey did still make history by becoming the first Eastern C teams to both advance to the state championship game since 1980, when Outlook defeated Opheim 44-35. Rollie Sullivan was the head coach of the Blue Jays at that time, one of his many coaching stints across the state, and was set to end the Eastern C's drought Saturday night as an assistant coach at Fairview.

MTN Sports sat down with Sullivan on Friday, March 13, hours before the Montana High School Association announced the cancellation of its state tournaments, to discuss the 40-year drought between all-Eastern C championships, how eastern Montana was at the top of its game during that era, and how basketball had and continues to shape his life.

Rollie Sullivan: "Let me tell you something, when I was coaching in the Eastern C in the mid-to-late 1970s, early '80s, there were lots and lots of good players in that league at that time."

MTN Sports: It wasn't even just Class C, you look back then at Plentywood, Scobey, but Opheim, Outlook, Antelope was in a state championship game, Poplar was really good. Was that just the golden era of hoops up there?

Sullivan: "It was really good. It was really good. The Puckett brothers from Peerless, very good players. The Hatfield brothers from Flaxville were very good players. Antelope, the Guenther kid. Westby had Allan Nielson and others. I mean, the Selvig boys in Outlook. There were just a ton of good players."

MTN Sports: Is it hard to believe, then, that literally four decades have passed since Class C has seen two East teams in the state championship? That was mind-boggling when I researched that stat.

Sullivan: "I won't say it shocks me, but it surprises me. At that time, I don't know if there was any better basketball than what there was in the eastern part of the state -- Eastern C, Eastern B, it didn't matter what. There were really good players. The schools have just dwindled in size so much that I can see where that maybe has happened, simply because some of those schools are no longer in existence. But I'm surprised."

MTN Sports: Before we break down any specific games or seasons or whatever, I know people would like to know and I would like to know, what are all those coaching stops that you have had? Can you remember them all, head coach and assistant coach?

Sullivan: "Oh yes. From 1975-80, the first two years I was (in Outlook) I was the assistant girls coach, then the third year I was the head girls coach, and then the fourth year I was back to the assistant girls coach. The fifth year I didn't coach girls at all, but all five years I was the head boys coach. In 1981 I was going to go back to school to get my endorsement in English, but I got a call from Frenchtown and ended up being there for a year, and we ended up winning the state tournament with really, really good kids. I was extremely fortunate there. Then I spent the next four years in Circle, and we played for the state championship in boys one year, I was an assistant one year and the head girls coach in the other year. At the time, my ex-wife, my wife at the time but now ex-wife, was the head girls coach the first two years and I was her assistant. The last two years, she has a baby and so I became the head girls coach and boys coach, and we had really good kids there, too. I had a great stop in Circle, that was a lot of fun. The last 18 years I was in Sidney as the head boys coach. So I can remember most of them. Being a coach at any level in high school, I think it's always fun. If you have kids that play hard, and I really understand how fun it is to coach the kids that play hard, coaching is a lot of fun."

MTN Sports: 1980, let's talk about that year specifically, you're able to come out on top in the last state championship that featured two East teams, what do you remember about that game? About that season?

Sullivan: "That season we played Opheim four times. They lose four games all year and all of them were to us. We were fortunate to beat them because they were good. They were way bigger than we were. Norm Dyrland was something like a 6-foot-7 kid and a good player, the Lawrence kid and the Moss kid, they were both in the 6-foot-3 or 6-foot-4 area, Kevin St. John was a 6-foot or 6-foot-1 guard, and then they had a little, I think it was Nelson, can't remember for sure the other guard's name, but they were really good. Loren Baker, really good coach. He was the head coach, then goes on and coaches great at Northern Montana College (now MSU-Northern) and elsewhere, if I remember right, but Northern Montana College, he did a great job. They were really good and really well-coached. Every game we played with Opheim got closer and closer and closer. There were a lot of points scored, and then our championship was about (44-35), I mean, it was low-scoring. I thought we did a nice job taking care of the ball, getting good shots off. We had the best player in the state, in my opinion, in Doug Selvig -- a 6-foot-5 guard for us. He was a great player at the University of Montana and in my opinion was the best player in the state of Montana that year. We had the best player, plus a bunch of kids that accepted their roles well ... we just had kids that accepted the roles and really were great kids to coach. They were all about 'us,' nobody was about 'me,' so it was a lot of fun."

MTN Sports: What about this weekend then? Here we are 40 years later and we get a chance to see two Eastern C powers. You said four times you (and Opheim) played that year, here we go again with another Scobey-Fairview match on Saturday night.

Sullivan: "Third time this season, and I think since I've been helping (Fairview), last year and this year are the only two years I've been helping again, we played them, I think it was three times last year and they got us all three times -- once in the regular season, once in the divisional championship and once in the state third- and fourth-place game, and now they're 2-0 against us this year. We're due to win one, gall dangit. Scobey is really good, and they're really well-coached. They have really good players. We have to play at the top of our game, we have to play our A-game. We have a lot of good players, too, but we have to play well. They're just diverse. They have so many kids that can do so many things. It's a handful for us, but we're as heck looking forward to it."

MTN Sports: Final couple of questions, how much has basketball, we've seen it within your family, some college athletes in the family, but how much has hoops revolved around your entire family, your entire life?

Sullivan: "My whole life. I have four kids, all of them played basketball. We had the good fortune that they were all pretty good high school players. My daughter Jordan played basketball for the University of Montana and had a great career here. She's now a member of the Lady Griz coaching staff. My son Jace coached a little bit in Sidney, my daughter Ashley coached a little bit in Culbertson. My son Ryan is now coaching in Casper, Wyo., so they've all been in it, they've all enjoyed it. They had no choice, they had to like it because mom and dad would drag them every place and make them play. But basketball has been so good for me, because I've met so many good people -- officials, other coaches, kids that have played -- it's been great. I've been blessed."

MTN Sports: You kind of answered my last question a little bit there, but outside of your family, all those relationships -- you and I were chatting before the cameras were rolling about all the old coaches and these familiar names you coached against -- Norm Dyrland is my uncle from up in Opheim -- what are those relationships you've made bouncing across the state from place to place?

Sullivan: "When you grow up, you think your best friends are always going to be those guys that you knew and were great friends with in high school, but my best friends in life are the guys I've coached against, coached with and met as a result of basketball. Obviously Loren Baker was a great coach that I got to coach against, but Terry Bakken was a really good high school coach, (C.C.) Zoonie McLean was impactful, Don Holst coached for the Griz here and was my roommate in college, we've been good friends forever. I could name 25-30 coaches that were really good coaches, in my opinion, that I've had the wonderful opportunity to get to know and become friends with."

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What could've been: Fairview-Scobey was championship 40 years in the making - MontanaSports

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March 19th, 2020 at 12:44 am

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