My daughter and I walked out of the theater at Barnsdall Art Park feeling as light as a balloon bouquet. For the past one-and-a-half hours, we had listened to a lecture titled Relationships that was taught by Buddhist monk Gen Kelsang Rigpa. We had just experienced a mood transfusion.

Barnsdall Art Park sits atop Olive Hill near the intersection of Hollywood and Vermont, with breathtaking views of Los Angeles and the Hollywood sign. The sidewalk that leads to the theater passes through a small, very peaceful pine forest.

There were about 80 people there, reflecting our Angeleno diversity but skewed toward middle age. Everyone was casually dressed and chatted quietly as they waited for the program to begin. When the host introduced the teacher, he asked that we not applaud when he came out, but simply stand up.

Its hard to describe what a difference that makes. The monk came out dressed in Buddhist garb, bowed slightly in greeting, signaled us to sit down, and told us we would begin with a short meditation.

Imagine a room full of adults with their phones off, sitting with their backs straight, heads slightly forward, and their eyes closed for 15 minutes. He told us to meditate about someone or some group of people with whom we would like to improve our relationship.

Gen Kelsang Rigpa is a resident teacher at Kadampa Meditation Center LA. Far from being inscrutable or ponderous, he is very plainspoken and relatable. He radiated warmth, and his humor was infectious. Best of all, I could understand what he was talking about. Love and attachment were the two main themes.

Most people have a vague idea of the Buddhist concept of attachment. The monk gave an example of attachment by having us consider why we choose certain people to be our friends. They like us, think we are great, and make us feel good about ourselves. Its basically about us. The same goes for our pets; they jump up and down when they see us. As long as we feed them, they are our best friends. Again, attachment.

Most of us were nodding in agreement. On an intuitive level, we already knew it. Then our smiling monk changed to love. What is love? He described it as seeing another human being and understanding that he wants the same thing we want to be happy, live life freely, avoid suffering. To focus on the other person is to show love.

He asked us to think about the person we had pondered during our initial meditation, the one with whom we wanted to improve our relationship. Maybe they dont think we are so great.

I thought of a boss I had had many years ago who did me wrong. We worked for a nonprofit organization, and when the national office initiated a nationwide re-organization, my boss was able to get rid of me. She planned to prevent me from filing a claim for unemployment insurance. I called in sick. She sent a messenger to my house saying I didnt work there anymore. I sued her. And then I wrote about it in this newspaper. There was bad blood.

That memory has been moldering for more than a decade. Perhaps it is because I always knew that she and I were devoted to the mission of our organization and wanted to see it succeed. The re-organization was imposed on us by the big bosses in New York and caused us to behave badly.

Although I cant say I felt a blossoming love for her at that moment, what I took away is that it is possible to imagine that my boss wanted what was best for the organization and the people who were at the heart of it. We did some good work together, and I have more happy memories than angry ones.

When Gen Kelsang Rigpa ended the class, there was a feeling of calm in the room. When he stood up to leave the stage, we all rose as one in silence. We steeled ourselves to go back to our noisy lives a little calmer, a little wiser.

Kathleen Vallee Stein is a Monrovia writer.

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A Buddhist moment here at the holidays - The Whittier Daily News