Decide which coaching programs will fill your needs and desires. We guide and support you every step of the way.

How did the coaching industry get started?

In the past, many people offered some form of coaching, but did not call themselves coaches.

The field as we know it today started in the early 1980s. Prior to the term coaching, people referred to themselves as mentors, advisers, consultants or just as a helping hand. Today, coaching is a highly recognized and respected profession with a wide range of specializations. Since coaching is not family counseling, social work or psychotherapy, there are no state or regional laws for coaching someone on important challenges and goals in their life.

There is no government-approved agency or federation for the coaching field.

You have complete freedom in selecting your training, and how you will develop your business and career.

A recent study conducted by Pricewaterhouse Coopers LLP, gives you some important information about your coaching career:

Here are just a few of your career options as a professional coach:

Personal Success Coach, Online Coach, Author, Professional Speaker, Life Makeover Specialist, Radio Show Host, Podcast Host, Personal Development Expert, or an Internet Entrepreneur. This is really just the beginning. Best of all; we coach YOU on all of your career options and strategies.

There are an estimated 75,000 coaches practicing in 75 countries. And the coaching industry continues to grow at a rate of approximately 20% per year. One of the most appealing aspects of coaching is that 70% of coaches work mostly by telephone, Skype and email with a successful nationwide or global practice. In short, you can enjoy your coaching practice anywhere and in any way you like.

A letter from Spencer Institute founder, Dr. John Spencer Ellis

Thank you for taking the time to learn how the Spencer Institute will enhance your life personally and professionally. From a personal perspective, you will learn techniques and systems that enhance your own well-being and success. In return, you will gain many skills and learn best practices to enhance the lives of others.

You will re-power yourself and then re-power the lives of others. I say re-power as opposed to empower because we all have the power. Sometimes it just needs to be awakened and given direction by a qualified coach.

The coaching industry offers you endless career options. You can become any type coach you want. There are NO LIMITS to your opportunities. Listen to your heart when it tells you, YOU CAN DO THIS! I personally know coaches who are making global changes and at the same time living the the dream life. They enjoy a work-at-home lifestyle, travel, a strong income, and the satisfaction of knowing they are enhancing lives. You can do the same. We will help you.

Your coaching business can take place in a one-on-one setting, on the phone, via Skype, Google Hangout, in a small group, in an online format, or any combination. Many coaches make up to (and beyond) $5,000 per day speaking on their specific coaching techniques. You may decide to conduct lunch time seminars on your coaching specialty to smaller groups at corporations. The choice is always yours.

What sets the Spencer Institute apart from other coaching schools are the diverse training options, niche courses, and our special techniques we share with you for developing a successful coaching business. This provides you with the lifestyle of your dreams. Now is the time to carefully review all of our programs and determine which ones are right for you. Each of our program pages describes how you will benefit and help others create the life of their dreams.

Since the Spencer Institute was launched in 1993, it has been my personal mission to help you become a total success in all aspects of your coaching career. Our programs are easy to follow and appropriately challenging. Each training course is developed with you in mind. We structure each course in a way which allows you to quickly understand the concepts and use the information quickly. In return, you easily help and guide others to success and fulfillment.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this message. Please let me know how I can personally help you with any part of your coaching career.

Thank you,

Dr. John Spencer Ellis JSE Founder, Spencer Institute

Coaching is the process of observation of existing thinking, behavioral and linguistic patterns, setting specific goals, discerning hidden saboteurs and supporting your client in making a plan of action and following it to achieve the desired results. It is creating such a deep respect and rapport, the client feels comfortable, and most of all safe, to move from their stuck place to success.

Spencer Institute Coaches are trained to listen to their clients words, observe their actions, and become aware of the way their client currently interprets the world around them. Intelligence is about having fine distinctions about a topic or field. The finer the distinctions, the more wisdom or perception is available. This program will teach the coach fine distinctions about human behavior. By identifying limiting strategic filters and beliefs through close observation of verbal and non-verbal patterns, the Spencer Institute Coach elicits solutions and facilitates resolution of conflicts.

Believing that people already have abundant resources within themselves, You act as a detective to identify the strategies that are already successful in other contexts of a persons life and to tease out hidden saboteurs that may be keeping your clients from achieving their goals. They then guide their client in discovering how to apply their successful strategies as a way of overcoming their identified saboteurs. By sharing communication tools and strategies for success, this method of coaching builds a relationship with the client that shapes the clients ability to make better and finer distinctions leading to solid decisions and life choices more naturally and easily.

Great communication skills are at the heart of effective life coaching. A skilled life coach understands the relationship between how people think and communicate. They have an awareness of the relationship between language patterns and behavior. Spencer Institute Life Coaches are trained to track the assumptions and thinking processes of the client reflected in their use of language. Being able to track the clients beliefs, behaviors and metaphors of life enable the coach to ask appropriate and pertinent questions of the client. This facilitates a deep self exploration for the client that often leads to subtle shifts in the clients awareness that often makes all the difference in making significant progress towards desired outcomes.

The number one home-based profession, according to the American magazine Start-ups.

Defined as The art of facilitating the performance, learning and development of another.

A helping profession, which embraces all aspects of life: work and career, relationships, community, self-development, wellness, abundance, education, and spirituality. Clients may choose to focus within one of these issues, or to follow a program of re-examining and enhancing various areas of life.

A way for the coach himself or herself, through self- and peer coaching, to enhance the quality of his or her communication with everyone: family, friends and colleagues, and to be a better manager, supervisor, chairperson, community leader, helper, or team member.

Life Strategies Coaching is a profession that is free from the over-regulation and licensing restrictions, which surround counseling and therapy professions in some countries. Your self-employed coaching career is portable should you decide to resettle in various parts of the U.S., Canada, UK, Europe, or elsewhere without retraining with a locally approved body. Because most coaching is done via the telephone, you have virtually no geographical limits for your client base. You will no longer be tied down to your office desk; you may enjoy a vacation as far away as your cell phone may reach. Best of all, your clients call you at their scheduled appointment times, giving you the freedom to plan your day and at the same time saving on any long distance fees.

Unrivaled in its choice of client specialties. You can find your niche coaching people in a particular career, job, age group, stage of life, spiritual direction, ethnic group, type of relationship, role in life, wellness need, disability or challenge, or any special need for support of which you have knowledge or life experience. Depending on your background or skill, you can coach company CEOs or women returning to work after raising their children; you can help a highly-stressed professional make the transition to a more acceptable way of life; help successful people hone their skills; or help people downshift to a simpler lifestyle. The choice is now yours.

How does coaching take place?

This will vary from coach to coach and client to client. In most cases, coaching is done over the phone. This allows you, the certified professional coach, to work from the comfort of your home. Some coaches use teleclasses or telecoaching. In these cases, a coach conducts coaching sessions over a conference line to several clients at once, or he/she can work with just one individual. Other coaches prefer to use e-mail for follow-ups between coaching sessions to check on their clients progress and give continued support and motivation. Still others prefer in-person sessions for a more personal approach. Of course, webinars are also a simple and highly effective method as well. We show you how.

What type of people become Certified Professional Coaches?

Our students include, but arent limited to the following: Business consultants, fitness and wellness professionals, doctors, lawyers, social workers, meditation instructors, spiritual consultants, career specialists, massage therapists, hyponotherapists, NLP practitioners, Time Line therapists, somatic therapists, natural health educators, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, MFTs, holistic health professionals, and biofeedback specialists.

How is coaching different from or similar to psychotherapy?

Some similarity exists, mainly in that the conversations between coach and client are confidential, as are those between patient and therapist. Largely, however, the coaching relationship is based on growth and movement toward achievement of goals, and not focus on the distant past. The time orientation of coaching is present and future, and in therapy it is mainly the past. Certainly there may be therapeutic issues that arise within the context of coaching. The Spencer Institute Life Strategies Coaching Program is not talk therapy delving into the past recesses of personal history with no understanding of the patterns and brainwashing that are held often out of our conscious awareness. Life Strategies does look at the current influences from our past to eliminate any hidden obstacles that could become a roadblock to current and future success.

Our Life Strategies Coaching program is an integration of skills, states of excellence, and step-by-step thinking strategies leading to measurable and reproducible results through the use of Hemispheric Integration techniques. As you go through the course and begin to practice the skills, you will appreciate the effectiveness of adding substance to the encouraging words as you become more than just a cheerleader.

Its the number one home-based profession. START-UPS

Theyre part therapist, part consultantand they sure know how to succeed in business. NEWSWEEK

Career management coachescan identify missing skills or style difficulties and offer pragmatic tips WALL STREET JOURNAL

The goal of coaching is the goal of good management to make the most of an organizations valuable resources. HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW

other companies offer coaching as a prerequisitein the understanding that everyone has blind spots and can benefit from a detached observer. NEW YORK TIMES

Boomers find the budding profession can help focus them on business and personal growth. LOS ANGELES TIMES

Its tough to develop without help with coaching you get to see your blind spots in a save environment. THE DENVER POST

Coaching is having a dedicated mentor; its getting knowledgeable support and encouragement and a new way of looking at things when you need it. EXECUTIVE FEMALE

The benefits of coaching appear to win over even the most cynical clients within just a few weeks. INDUSTRY WEEK

Executive coaches are a hot new industry and a sign that you have truly arrived. TRAINING MAGAZINE

Our program has the missing link between coaching, that gives practical advice about what to do, and psychotherapy, that focuses on talking about the past. Hemispheric Integration and neuro-linguistic skills provide the structure of how to move through challenges and beyond theoretical concepts, by creating a positive road map to success.

The Spencer Institutes Coaching programs are not simply cheerleading.

Encouragement and positive affirmations such as: You can do it! Its easy. Just go ahead and try it! are wonderful, feel good affirmations and yet, they carry no specific information about how to just do it. What is missing with the cheerleading approach is a specific action plan and strategies of action that will create a pathway to success.

With The Spencer Institute, through the use of Hemispheric Integration, we provide you with the information and structure of the necessary tools for balancing the brain. The information in this program is based on structural research, not folklore or testimonials.

The Spencer Institutes Coaching Programs are not talk therapy delving into the past recesses of personal history with no understanding of the patterns and brainwashing that are held often out of our conscious awareness. Life Strategies does look at the current influences from our past to eliminate any hidden obstacles that could become a roadblock to current and future success.

Yes! This is why:

1. Many people are unclear were theyre going in each aspect of life. Frequently, they desire clarify. Coaching helps everyone clarify values, beliefs, purpose, and goals.

2. We may know where were going and what we need to do, but we forget or simply get stuck in our limiting belief systems, ineffective habits, or inability to focus. A well-trained coach gets us back on track by helping us identify limiting beliefs and ineffective habits and find more effective ways of living and enjoying life.

3. Many times we resist change because its easier and more comfortable to stay the way we are. Any change we make causes resistance and backlash within ourselves as well as from other people in our lives. A coach helps us move beyond that resistance -with greater ease and flow. In the coaching relationship you may decide to work on all areas of your life at once or just focus on one.

What will I do as a Certified Life Strategies Coach?

As you decide to become a life coach, you will be an essential ally to those who seek your advice and guidance. You will assess and align your clients beliefs, values, morals and support system as a means for them to naturally and easily achieve their goals. You will guide them in creating a plan of action while remaining a resource to keep their motivation focused on reaching their goals.

You will have many different roles. Often times, as a graduate, you will use your new coaching knowledge to augment an existing talent or skill set that your clients posses. Many coaches come from a wellness background. Fitness professionals may incorporate whole life coaching into their menu of services. A business person who holds an MBA may choose to coach executives on a whole life perspective of mastering the corporate world. Those who work in a personnel or human resources department will use their new interpersonal communication skills to better evoke excellence in others. A religious leader can use his or her coaching skills to better counsel members of their congregation. A psychologist may wish to transition out of traditional therapy and work with clients on future plans rather than past issues. The benefit of being a Certified Spencer Institute Life Strategies Coach is that you will learn how to work with structure instead of working with content. Coaches that work with content tell their clients to be happy, be proactive, feel good, without providing the structure or instructions on HOW TO be happy, proactive, feel good, etc. You will learn the difference that makes the difference in getting reproducible results.

As you can now see, with your education and life strategies coaching certification from the Spencer Institute, you can incorporate coaching into your current field or area of expertise. You may also wish to move in a totally new direction; the choice is completely yours.

People hire coaches for a wide variety of reasons. Here are some of the most common:

View our coaching certification programs or view student success stories

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Streetwear Clothing Hats & Sneakers - Motivation | MTVTN.com

Motivation around the clock! This is an Inspirational Community for Self Growth through tools, collaboration and life changing connections. Inspiring people around the world to achieve their greatness since 1996.

=> 7 Things that Confirm You Are Doing What You Love - Have you ever heard the adage, "just throw a million ideas on the wall and see what sticks?" Every business has its ups and downs. Some will kick off well from the start and others will not, but whether or not there is initial growth it's 'that thing' you're doing... read more

=> How to succeed through failure - For many people, the idea of failure is simply not on their agenda. Not doing something the right way, or failing to get something right. It's not something they can even comprehend. It's the worst thing in the world to fail for some people. Yet for others.... read more

=> You Don't Have To Know Everything Before You Start Doing Something - Nothing stifles our success more than the pressure we put on ourselves to do things perfectly, and avoid the possibility of falling short in the attempt.... read more

=> How to start Your Day on Purpose - I'm big on intentionality. To put it plainly, I'm referring to the act of doing things by choice over chance, or happenstance... read more

The Motivational Speakers Hall of Fame - biographies of such motivational speakers as: Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Napoleon Hill, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, Les Brown, Stephen Covey, John Gray, Richard Carlson, Dr. Maxwell Maltz, Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Barbara Deangelis, Tom Hopkins, Denis Waitley, Mark Victor Hansen, Og Mandino, and a host of others that make up some of the most talented in the public speaking industry -- past and present.

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Why Perfect Timing is a Myth: Tips for Staying Inspired and Motivated Day in and Day out! By Josh Hinds

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Investment Property on LoopNet.com

The range of properties available on LoopNet for real estate investors is wide. You can choose among a number of investment real estate categories such as Multi-family, Office, Industrial, Retail, Land, Hotel & Motel, Senior Housing and Residential Income.

Multifamily Multi-family investment real estate will be of interest to residential business owners. Multi-family properties range from upscale garden-level residences to expansive mobile home communities. Customers interested in managing commercial housing will find a huge diversity of properties to choose from.

Office Not all "commercial" investment property is considered an "office," even though it may very well house office space for the tenant. The Office category denotes strictly office space. So, businesses in need of a warehouse, storefront, venue or housing can find property more suitable for their needs in a different category. LoopNet's wide array of office space includes entire business parks as well as small office condos.

Industrial Industrial property provides space for businesses to manufacture their product as well as manage their company. Industrial investment property can range from manufacturing factories to office showrooms and cold storage facilities. Featured facilities can accommodate big businesses with a full industrial park or satisfy small groups with a simple warehouse.

Retail Many businesses need a storefront to operate. Buying retail property is a great real estate investment. LoopNet features free-standing businesses as well as mall storefronts. Even caveats like vehicle show-rooms, restaurant kitchens and care facilities are all included in LoopNets vast selection of storefronts.

Land Owning land is still a sound investment. By strategically investing in this option, you can either hold onto it for the perfect time to re-sell when a neighborhood starts undergoing development. It also can be advantageous to invest in your own property when launching a new and expanding industry. LoopNet offers plots of land for every type of building site offered.

Hotel & Motel Multi-family properties host extended stay tenants. Hotel & Motel investments provide business owners with hospitality properties for short- and long-term vacation or residential stays. This type of investment property is available in a variety of locations and star ratings.

Senior Housing Assisted living is a very specialized industry. The building style is specific toward only that purpose. LoopNet has an abundance of assisted and congregated senior living facilities in our investment real estate listings.

Residential Income Single-Units and smaller residential investments are featured here. Businesses interested in working with sections of a residential development or just a few units will be interested in the investme

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Explore Careers Accounting Consulting Entrepreneurship Finance Investment Banking Overview Skills & Talents Getting in the Door Job Options Salaries Links & Resources Facts & Trends Top Firms Job Market Outlook Life as an Analyst Life as an Associate Contact Lists Investment Bank List Trip to New York Human Resources Management Marketing Non-Profit Operations Research Strategic Planning

Welcome to a comprehensive web site on investment banking careers. Investment Banks help companies and governments issue securities, help investors purchase securities, manage financial assets, trade securities and provide financial advice. The top investment banks including Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan and Morgan Stanley are said to be in the bulge bracket.

Other investment banks are regionally oriented or situated in the middle market (e.g. Piper Jaffray). Others are small, specialized firms called boutiques which might be oriented toward an industry vertical, bond-trading, M&A advisory, technical analysis or program trading. Firms have lots of different areas and groups within them. In most firms, there is sales and trading which works with owners of securities, investment banking which works with issuers of securities (firms and governments) and capital markets which goes in between the other two.

Further Information on Investment Banking

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From the Movie: Wall Street

[Blue Star has gone from 24 to 16 1/2 in a very short time]

Gordon Gekko: Fox, where the hell are you? I am losing MILLIONS! You got me into this airline and you sure as hell better get me out or the only job you'll ever have on the Street is SWEEPING IT! You hear me, Fox?

Bud Fox: You once told me, don't get emotional about stock. Don't! The bid is 16 1/2 and going down. As your broker, I advise you to take it.

Gordon Gekko: Yeah. Well you TAKE IT!

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Electronic Resources from Home

CLICK HERE TO ACCESS THE ONLINE DATABASES FROM HOME.

In-House Library Access

The following online resources can be accessed only in the Jersey City Public Library buildings.

These services were partially funded by the New Jersey Regional Library Cooperatives, a state tax funded service of the New Jersey Library Network.

EBSCOhost EBSCOhost offers access to the full text over 1,800 magazines and newspapers with MasterFILE Premier, Business Source, and Health Source Plus. A variety of other tools for research are also available.

Gale Contemporary Authors Contemporary Authors provides information on the lives and works of approximately 100,000 current writers of fiction, nonfiction, poetry and drama. Information on notable international authors and selected early 20th century authors is also included.

Get Help New Jersey Librarians helps residents through tough economic times. Get the tools needed for work, finances, housing, health, parental guidance and senior services.

HealthyNJ HealthyNJ is a product of the University Libraries at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey. The Consumer Health Information Task Force, comprised of librarians from each of the four UMDNJ Campus Libraries, developed the content of the Web Site to meet the health care information needs of consumers, particularly the citizens of New Jersey.

JerseyClicksJerseyClicksis New Jersey's statewide portal for searching the statewide full-text databases. These high quality databases cover subjects such as health, history, business, education, science, current events, literature, and popular fiction. The suite also includes Reference Latina,aSpanish language full-text database. You cansearch for high quality Internet age information 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Jersey Journal, 1867-1922, 1961-65 Jersey Journal has once again provided us with a free trial. Holders of Jersey City Library cards can access the Historical Jersey Journal covering the years 1867-1922 and 1961-64. Simply click on the link and start hunting.

Khan AcademyWith a library of over 2,600 videos covering everything from arithmetic to physics, finance, and history and 306 practice exercises, they're on a mission to help you learn what you want, when you want, at your own pace.

Job & Career Accelerator For job seekers in Jersey City, help has arrived! Job & Career Accelerator, a comprehensive online job search system, is now available to help overwhelmed job seekers find employment. This innovative online resource provides job seekers everything they need to find their next job, all in one easy-to-use application.

Learning Express The LearningExpress Library online learning platform has helped millions of library patrons and students prepare for a wide range of career-oriented licensing and certification exams in health care, education, civil service, homeland security, and much more. The platform also has interactive tutorials to help users improve basic skills in reading, writing, and math, as well as prepare for high-stakes tests such as the GED, ACT, and SAT. The innovative platform includes self-paced interactive study, instant scoring, and diagnostic feedback, and can be accessed from any computer with an Internet connection.

Medline MedlinePlus is a goldmine of good health information from the world's largest medical library, the National Library of Medicine. Health professionals and consumers alike can depend on it for information that is authoritative and up to date. MedlinePlus has extensive information from the National Institutes of Health and other trusted sources on over 700 diseases and conditions.

MITOpenCourseWare Free lecture notes, exams, and videos from MIT. No registration required.

Morningstar Investment Research CenterMorningstar Investment Research Center database for researching nearly 9,500 stocks, 24,000 mutual funds and more than 800 exchange traded funds (ETFs). Patrons can review Morningstar fund ratings and stewardship grades, utilize stock and fund screeners and print full page PDF reports. Morningstar also provides financial education for the beginner through expert investor through its Investing Classroom.

NJ DataBank NJ DATA Bank - NJ DataBank presents data in 20 key policy areas at the state, county and municipal level. Policy areas include: business, civic engagement and energy, culture, diversity, economic conditions, education, elections, environment, food and agriculture, global connections, government, health, housing, justice, labor, population, public safety, technology, transportation and urban issues.

Novelist NoveList is an electronic database of over 92,000 titles that helps fiction readers discover new books and writers. Users of all ages can enter a favorite author or title in order to locate other authors or titles of similar interests. In addition, users can browse over 1,200 theme-oriented book lists, 160 award lists and 1,000 fiction-related websites.

PubMed PubMed Central is a digital archive of life sciences journal literature at the U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH), developed and managed by NIH's National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) in the National Library of Medicine (NLM). Access to the full text of articles in PMC is free, except where a journal requires a subscription for access to recent articles.

Searchasaurus Searchasaurus is full of magazine/newspaper articles; photos and maps; TV, radio and government transcripts; encyclopedia, dictionary, thesaurus, almanac and more.

Stanford Engineering Everywhere SEE programming includes one of Stanfords most popular sequences: the three-course Introduction to Computer Science taken by the majority of Stanfords undergraduates and seven more advanced courses in artificial intelligence and electrical engineering.

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What is life coaching?

Coaching is a powerful process, an INVESTMENT in the future YOU. The relationship between a coach and client is collaborative. Together,we willfocus on your interests, challenges and goals. Coaching provides a support system where accountability matters, where there are safe opportunities for meaningful dialogue, where new perspectives are explored and expanded options are generated, where clients like you become inspired and motivated and next steps are identified and taken. Coaching is a catalyst for change.

Listen intently, ask powerful questions, help clarify, and enable clients to cultivate their own wisdom.

Judge, offer advice or tell clients what to do, solve a clients problems.

Ask yourself the following questions:

If you find yourself answering YES to these questions, then you ARE READY!

IMPORTANT NOTE : Coaching IS NOT Counseling

In my counseling practice, I work with clients who are suffering from depression and/or anxiety and their suffering often derives from events or unresolved issues from their pasts. Please note that if during our initial discussion, I determine that you would be better suited to counseling, rather than coaching, I will make that recommendation. I ONLY offer counseling to clients on a face-to-face basis in my office in New Jersey (www.3StepsForward.net).

In coaching, our work is much more present-focused and future-oriented. We will work together to help you identify how to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. Coaching will help move you toward your goal(s) faster. It is about taking action based on the knowledge you uncover. In coaching, you are accountable for your actions and you are responsible for making your own choices. The coaching I offer is most often done by telephone (no travel time or travel expenses!).

Laurie Leinwand is a Professional Life Coach assisting clients with a variety of personal and professional life issues. Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching encompasses Lauries work as a life coach for women and men, career life coach and work-life balance coach.

Some of the topics of focus in her practice as a professional life coach are assisting and supporting individuals that are stay at home parents (stay at home moms and dads are constantly forced to adapt to their current circumstances as their children grow and change) as well as those returning to work. Laurie works with people reentering the workforce who are unsure of their direction and interested in cultivating professional development skills and support.

Laurie also provides personal development assistance with regard to powerful issues such as how to make a change in your life and finding fulfillment and your life purpose. In addition, she works with clients interested in learning how to say no and setting boundaries.

Ideas 2 Action Life Coaching is located in Randolph, NJ and services the surrounding communities of Morristown, Denville, Parsippany, Florham Park and Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, though much of her coaching is done on the phone and is accessible to clients worldwide. Laurie is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and the New Jersey Professional Coaches Association (NJPCA).

Is it Time for You to Make a Change?

If so, contact Laurie Leinwand at Ideas 2 Action today for a FREE 1/2 hour Sample Life Coaching Session. Click here to request a session, please lether know the best time to call you.

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From Beyond the Frontier of the Mind by Osho

The first thing to be understood is what ego is. A child is born. A child is born without any knowledge, any consciousness of his own self. And when a child is born the first thing he becomes aware of is not himself; the first thing he becomes aware of is the other. It is natural, because the eyes open outwards, the hands touch others, the ears listen to others, the tongue tastes food and the nose smells the outside. All these senses open outwards.

That is what birth means. Birth means coming into this world, the world of the outside. So when a child is born, he is born into this world. He opens his eyes, sees others. 'Other' means the thou. He becomes aware of the mother first. Then, by and by, he becomes aware of his own body. That too is the other, that too belongs to the world. He is hungry and he feels the body; his need is satisfied, he forgets the body.

This is how a child grows. First he becomes aware of you, thou, other, and then by and by, in contrast to you, thou, he becomes aware of himself.

This awareness is a reflected awareness. He is not aware of who he is. He is simply aware of the mother and what she thinks about him. If she smiles, if she appreciates the child, if she says, "You are beautiful," if she hugs and kisses him, the child feels good about himself. Now an ego is born.

Through appreciation, love, care, he feels he is good, he feels he is valuable, he feels he has some significance.

A center is born.

But this center is a reflected center. It is not his real being. He does not know who he is; he simply knows what others think about him. And this is the ego: the reflection, what others think. If nobody thinks that he is of any use, nobody appreciates him, nobody smiles, then too an ego is born: an ill ego; sad, rejected, like a wound; feeling inferior, worthless. This too is the ego. This too is a reflection.

First the mother - and mother means the world in the beginning. Then others will join the mother, and the world goes on growing. And the more the world grows, the more complex the ego becomes, because many others' opinions are reflected.

The ego is an accumulated phenomenon, a by-product of living with others. If a child lives totally alone, he will never come to grow an ego. But that is not going to help. He will remain like an animal. That doesn't mean that he will come to know the real self, no.

The real can be known only through the false, so the ego is a must. One has to pass through it. It is a discipline. The real can be known only through the illusion. You cannot know the truth directly. First you have to know that which is not true. First you have to encounter the untrue. Through that encounter you become capable of knowing the truth. If you know the false as the false, truth will dawn upon you.

Ego is a need; it is a social need, it is a social by-product. The society means all that is around you - not you, but all that is around you. All, minus you, is the society. And everybody reflects. You will go to school and the teacher will reflect who you are. You will be in friendship with other children and they will reflect who you are. By and by, everybody is adding to your ego, and everybody is trying to modify it in such a way that you don't become a problem to the society.

They are not concerned with you.

They are concerned with the society.

Society is concerned with itself, and that's how it should be.

They are not concerned that you should become a self-knower. They are concerned that you should become an efficient part in the mechanism of the society. You should fit into the pattern. So they are trying to give you an ego that fits with the society. They teach you morality. Morality means giving you an ego which will fit with the society. If you are immoral, you will always be a misfit somewhere or other. That's why we put criminals in the prisons - not that they have done something wrong, not that by putting them in the prisons we are going to improve them, no. They simply don't fit. They are troublemakers. They have certain types of egos of which the society doesn't approve. If the society approves, everything is good.

One man kills somebody - he is a murderer.

And the same man in wartime kills thousands - he becomes a great hero. The society is not bothered by a murder, but the murder should be commited for the society - then it is okay. The society doesn't bother about morality.

Morality means only that you should fit with the society.

If the society is at war, then the morality changes.

If the society is at peace, then there is a different morality.

Morality is a social politics. It is diplomacy. And each child has to be brought up in such a way that he fits into the society, that's all. Because society is interested in efficient members. Society is not interested that you should attain to self-knowledge.

The society creates an ego because the ego can be controlled and manipulated. The self can never be controlled or manipulated. Nobody has ever heard of the society controlling a self - not possible.

And the child needs a center; the child is completely unaware of his own center. The society gives him a center and the child is by and by convinced that this is his center, the ego that society gives.

A child comes back to his home - if he has come first in his class, the whole family is happy. You hug and kiss him, and you take the child on your shoulders and dance and you say, "What a beautiful child! You are a pride to us." You are giving him an ego, a subtle ego. And if the child comes home dejected, unsuccessful, a failure - he couldn't pass, or he has just been on the back bench - then nobody appreciates him and the child feels rejected. He will try harder next time, because the center feels shaken.

Ego is always shaken, always in search of food, that somebody should appreciate it. That's why you continuously ask for attention.

You get the idea of who you are from others.

It is not a direct experience.

It is from others that you get the idea of who you are. They shape your center. This center is false, because you carry your real center. That is nobody's business. Nobody shapes it.

You come with it.

You are born with it.

So you have two centers. One center you come with, which is given by existence itself. That is the self. And the other center, which is created by the society, is the ego. It is a false thing - and it is a very great trick. Through the ego the society is controlling you. You have to behave in a certain way, because only then does the society appreciate you. You have to walk in a certain way; you have to laugh in a certain way; you have to follow certain manners, a morality, a code. Only then will the society appreciate you, and if it doesn't, you ego will be shaken. And when the ego is shaken, you don't know where you are, who you are.

The others have given you the idea.

That idea is the ego.

Try to understand it as deeply as possible, because this has to be thrown. And unless you throw it you will never be able to attain to the self. Because you are addicted to the center, you cannot move, and you cannot look at the self.

And remember, there is going to be an interim period, an interval, when the ego will be shattered, when you will not know who you are, when you will not know where you are going, when all boundaries will melt.

You will simply be confused, a chaos.

Because of this chaos, you are afraid to lose the ego. But it has to be so. One has to pass through the chaos before one attains to the real center.

And if you are daring, the period will be small.

If you are afraid, and you again fall back to the ego, and you again start arranging it, then it can be very, very long; many lives can be wasted.

I have heard: One small child was visiting his grandparents. He was just four years old. In the night when the grandmother was putting him to sleep, he suddenly started crying and weeping and said, "I want to go home. I am afraid of darkness." But the grandmother said, "I know well that at home also you sleep in the dark; I have never seen a light on. So why are you afraid here?" The boy said, "Yes, that's right - but that is MY darkness." This darkness is completely unknown.

Even with darkness you feel, "This is MINE."

Outside - an unknown darkness.

With the ego you feel, "This is MY darkness."

It may be troublesome, maybe it creates many miseries, but still mine. Something to hold to, something to cling to, something underneath the feet; you are not in a vacuum, not in an emptiness. You may be miserable, but at least you ARE. Even being miserable gives you a feeling of 'I am'. Moving from it, fear takes over; you start feeling afraid of the unknown darkness and chaos - because society has managed to clear a small part of your being.

It is just like going to a forest. You make a little clearing, you clear a little ground; you make fencing, you make a small hut; you make a small garden, a lawn, and you are okay. Beyond your fence - the forest, the wild. Here everything is okay; you have planned everything. This is how it has happened.

Society has made a little clearing in your consciousness. It has cleaned just a little part completely, fenced it. Everything is okay there. That's what all your universities are doing. The whole culture and conditioning is just to clear a part so that you can feel at home there.

And then you become afraid.

Beyond the fence there is danger.

Beyond the fence you are, as within the fence you are - and your conscious mind is just one part, one-tenth of your whole being. Nine-tenths is waiting in the darkness. And in that nine-tenths, somewhere your real center is hidden.

One has to be daring, courageous.

One has to take a step into the unknown.

For a while all boundaries will be lost.

For a while you will feel dizzy.

For a while, you will feel very afraid and shaken, as if an earthquake has happened. But if you are courageous and you don't go backwards, if you don't fall back to the ego and you go on and on, there is a hidden center within you that you have been carrying for many lives.

That is your soul, the self.

Once you come near it, everything changes, everything settles again. But now this settling is not done by the society. Now everything becomes a cosmos, not a chaos; a new order arises.

But this is no longer the order of the society - it is the very order of existence itself.

It is what Buddha calls Dhamma, Lao Tzu calls Tao, Heraclitus calls Logos. It is not man-made. It is the VERY order of existence itself. Then everything is suddenly beautiful again, and for the first time really beautiful, because man-made things cannot be beautiful. At the most you can hide the ugliness of them, that's all. You can decorate them, but they can never be beautiful.

The difference is just like the difference between a real flower and a plastic or paper flower. The ego is a plastic flower - dead. It just looks like a flower, it is not a flower. You cannot really call it a flower. Even linguistically to call it a flower is wrong, because a flower is something which flowers. And this plastic thing is just a thing, not a flowering. It is dead. There is no life in it.

You have a flowering center within. That's why Hindus call it a lotus - it is a flowering. They call it the one-thousand-petaled-lotus. One thousand means infinite petals. And it goes on flowering, it never stops, it never dies.

But you are satisfied with a plastic ego.

There are some reasons why you are satisfied. With a dead thing, there are many conveniences. One is that a dead thing never dies. It cannot - it was never alive. So you can have plastic flowers, they are good in a way. They are permanent; they are not eternal, but they are permanent.

The real flower outside in the garden is eternal, but not permanent. And the eternal has its own way of being eternal. The way of the eternal is to be born again and again and to die. Through death it refreshes itself, rejuvenates itself.

To us it appears that the flower has died - it never dies.

It simply changes bodies, so it is ever fresh.

It leaves the old body, it enters a new body. It flowers somewhere else; it goes on flowering.

But we cannot see the continuity because the continuity is invisible. We see only one flower, another flower; we never see the continuity.

It is the same flower which flowered yesterday.

It is the same sun, but in a different garb.

The ego has a certain quality - it is dead. It is a plastic thing. And it is very easy to get it, because others give it. You need not seek it, there is no search involved. That's why unless you become a seeker after the unknown, you have not yet become an individual. You are just a part of the crowd. You are just a mob.

When you don't have a real center, how can you be an individual?

The ego is not individual. Ego is a social phenomenon - it is society, its not you. But it gives you a function in the society, a hierarchy in the society. And if you remain satisfied with it, you will miss the whole opportunity of finding the self.

And that's why you are so miserable.

With a plastic life, how can you be happy?

With a false life, how can you be ecstatic and blissful? And then this ego creates many miseries, millions of them.

You cannot see, because it is your own darkness. You are attuned to it.

Have you ever noticed that all types of miseries enter through the ego? It cannot make you blissful; it can only make you miserable.

Ego is hell.

Whenever you suffer, just try to watch and analyze, and you will find, somewhere the ego is the cause of it. And the ego goes on finding causes to suffer.

You are an egoist, as everyone is. Some are very gross, just on the surface, and they are not so difficult. Some are very subtle, deep down, and they are the real problems.

This ego comes continuously in conflict with others because every ego is so unconfident about itself. Is has to be - it is a false thing. When you don't have anything in your hand and you just think that something is there, then there will be a problem.

If somebody says, "There is nothing," immediately the fight will start, because you also feel that there is nothing. The other makes you aware of the fact.

Ego is false, it is nothing.

That you also know.

How can you miss knowing it? It is impossible! A conscious being - how can he miss knowing that this ego is just false? And then others say that there is nothing - and whenever the others say that there is nothing they hit a wound, they say a truth - and nothing hits like the truth.

You have to defend, because if you don't defend, if you don't become defensive, then where will you be?

You will be lost.

The identity will be broken.

So you have to defend and fight - that is the clash.

A man who attains to the self is never in any clash. Others may come and clash with him, but he is never in clash with anybody.

It happened that one Zen master was passing through a street. A man came running and hit him hard. The master fell down. Then he got up and started to walk in the same direction in which he was going before, not even looking back.

A disciple was with the master. He was simply shocked. He said, "Who is this man? What is this? If one lives in such a way, then anybody can come and kill you. And you have not even looked at that person, who he is, and why he did it."

The master said, "That is his problem, not mine."

You can clash with an enlightened man, but that is your problem, not his. And if you are hurt in that clash, that too is your own problem. He cannot hurt you. And it is like knocking against a wall - you will be hurt, but the wall has not hurt you.

The ego is always looking for some trouble. Why? Because if nobody pays attention to you, the ego feels hungry.

It lives on attention.

So even if somebody is fighting and angry with you, that too is good because at least the attention is paid. If somebody loves, it is okay. If somebody is not loving you, then even anger will be good. At least the attention will come to you. But if nobody is paying any attention to you, nobody thinks that you are somebody important, significant, then how will you feed your ego?

Other's attention is needed.

In millions of ways you attract the attention of others; you dress in a certain way, you try to look beautiful, you behave, you become very polite, you change. When you feel what type of situation is there, you immediately change so that people pay attention to you.

See original here:
Ego the False Center by Osho - Deoxy

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