LIVING the single life in Leamington is a sociable affair and advice on enjoying time alone has scooped a town author an award.

After being single for many years and loving the time to herself retired civil servant Christine Ingall decided to pen a self help guide for those who find it difficult being on their own.

And her book Solo Success! You can do things on your own won the gold award in the personal development category of the Janey Lee Grace Platinum Awards after judges recognised the increasing numbers of single people in the UK needing support.

Christine told the Observer: One thing I wont take for granted is that people who are without a partner, who live on their own, are somehow second class citizens even in their own eyes.

More and more people are living alone in the UK, but not all of them happily. Many people who find themselves suddenly single after a break up are not accustomed to living without a partner.

I realised I had many years experience of being single, living alone and overcoming the fears and challenges of being solo in a couple-centred society, which is why I wrote the book.

And Christine says while those on their own must refuse to be treated like a second class citizen, they must also not treat themselves that way by avoiding social events.

But it is mostly good news for those living in Leamington, which she says is one of the friendliest towns for single people.

She said: Leamington is friendly and sociable. I wouldnt live anywhere else. Costa coffee on The Parade is a member of the Chatty Caf scheme, where people on their own are encouraged to go in for a coffee and mix with others at a social table.

But most restaurants dont actively encourage solo dining for example even though tables for one requests have dramatically increased in the last few years.

And despite loving the single life, she refuses to rule out a relationship.

Christine added: I have been in relationships, some long term, and never expected to find myself in this position.

There are up and downsides to being alone and being in a relationship. Ive got used to being solo, but I would never say never to a relationship if the right person came along.

I say, live the best life you can everyday.

The book, priced 10.99, is available from Amazon and the Leamington branch of Waterstones. It is also available to download as an e-book.

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Living the single life in Leamington is a 'sociable' affair and local author wins prize for her self help guide - Leamington Observer

Dr Jenny Hallam, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, and Dr Kay Owen, Lecturer in Childhood Studies, of the University of Derby, explain how their work with Derbyshire-based theatre company WinterWalker and Derby Theatre has given a new insight on the positive impact of performance upon young children.

Research reports that the arts play a vital role in supporting childrens development and wellbeing. Participating in arts-based activities provides children with a much-needed opportunity for self-expression and a place where they are able to develop creativity and imagination[i].

It has also been reported that arts-based activities are an important site of personal development as they give children the space to gain confidence and feelings of self-worth[ii]. However, in recent years primary school teachers have reported that pressures to focus on subjects such as English and maths means that they are unable to provide a consistent and meaningful arts education[iii].

At a time when screen time and mental health issues in children are on the rise, external agencies play a vital role in supporting childrens involvement with the arts and promoting wellbeing[iv]. In a recent research project, we explored the ways in which young children responded to a live theatre intervention run by WinterWalker, with financial support from the National Lottery and the Arts Council, at Derby Theatre.

The research centred on exploring the experiences of children aged between three and six who attended a performance of Five an intervention which combines stay and play activities and a live theatre performance which uses music and dance to explore the senses. In order to reflect Derby Theatres ongoing commitment to making cultural events more accessible to all children, particularly local children living in poverty, the research focused on a performance in which a group of children from a nursery situated in a socially deprived area of Derby attended free of charge. Observations made during the stay and play and the performance itself revealed the immediate impact that the performance had.

Before and after the performance, children and carers had access to a play area which had a number of zones based on the different senses that the children could explore. These included a sandpit, colouring station, chalk board, dressing up area, a board with percussion instruments and a small sensory garden. Before the performance, most of the children played in the sandpit which was positioned centrally in the stay and play area.

There was little interaction between the children as they focused on enjoying the sensation of the sand between their toes and used the sieves and buckets to tip the sand and watch it cascade back into the sand pit. There was a lack of exploration of the space and the different areas, and the play seemed somewhat subdued. Some of the children commented that they had never been to the theatre before and were unsure as to what to expect.

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During the performance itself the children sat for the full 45 minutes and were clearly engaged. There was a look of awe upon many of the childrens faces and laughter as the children enjoyed the dance and music.

After the performance the children returned to the stay and play area with much more confidence. There was much more exploration and activity moved to the percussion area as children enthusiastically made rhymical sounds together. The noise became louder and louder as two girls engaged in a musical duel. There was also much more social interaction as carers became more involved in the play and children who did not know each other began to talk and play together. Elements of the performance were also incorporated into activities as two sisters used the dress up box to engage in dramatic play.

There was also evidence of re-enactment as a boy used props in the play area to re-create what he had observed, and a girl mirrored the smell aspect of the performance by taking the time to smell the flowers in the sensory garden. Many of the children reported that they enjoyed the performance and their first visit to the theatre had been positive.

Carers who had attended the performance with their children reported that the performance had made a lasting impact upon the children. Children used household items to recreate elements of the performance and spontaneous dance and storytelling was woven into the play which was observed at home. This is something that will be explored further with the nursery staff in a future research project.

Dr Jenny Hallam, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, and Dr Kay Owen, Lecturer in Childhood Studies, of the University of Derby

[i]Arnheim, R. (1989).Thoughts on art education. Los Angeles: Getty Center for Education in the Arts; Chapman, L. (1978).Approaches to art in education.New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich; Dyson, A. (1989). Looking Making and Learning. Art and Design in the Primary schoolLondon: Kogan Page.

[ii]Barnes, R. (2002).Teaching art to Children 4-9. London: Routledge/Falmer.

[iii]Hallam, J., Das Gupta, M., & Lee, H. (2008). An exploration of primary school teachers understanding of art and the place of art in the primary school curriculum.Curriculum Journal,19(4),269281.

[iv]Office of National Statistics: Mental health of children and young people in Great Britain 2004.

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Making a performance of child development - Top 5 tips to help develop creativity - FE News

Max Whittaker for The New York Times

I used to think calling cars death machines was kind of extreme. Then my niece was hit by one.

She was only 9 years old, out with her family in Los Angeles and running toward an ice cream truck. She was hit with such force that most of her front teeth were knocked out. She is lucky to be alive.

Thinking about my niece made me recall all the other times members of my family had been injured by cars. My husbands grandmother was killed. My aunt and uncle were seriously injured. I was even involved in a hit-and-run in a crosswalk in front of my school when I was a kid and broke my leg.

Most of us have stories like this a car coming into our lives and unleashing horrendous damage on our loved ones, friends, family and even ourselves.

Cars are death machines. Pedestrian fatalities in the United States have increased 41 percent since 2008; more than 6,000 pedestrians were killed in 2018 alone. More than 4,000 American kids are killed in car crashes every year I am thankful every day my niece wasnt one of them.

Heres the thing: Statistics clearly dont seem to persuade anyone of the magnitude of this problem. Not policy makers or automakers, technologists or drivers.

If numbers dont change minds, can personal experiences?

I conducted an experiment on Twitter this summer, asking people to share my tweet if a car had hit them, or anyone they knew. It was shared thousands of times and more than 500 people shared stories of being hit, losing family and friends, and sustaining injuries that impact their daily lives.

A driver bolted toward traffic without stopping at the stop sign. He hit me broadside, sending me into traffic that was thankfully empty at the moment. The next thing I remember was being helped onto the grass with my bent-up bike and someone asking me where I lived. I was in 5th grade at the time. That's only one of three stories I have.

Alexandra Watson, Boulder, CO

Nick Cote for The New York Times

I was hit by a car when I was 15. Riding a bike down a street near my house, a car turned left in front of me. I survived only because the hood was low and broad enough that I catapulted over it rather than impacting the side.

Skip Pile

A truck pulled up alongside me at a red light. When the light turned green, I started going, but was whacked on the back of my head by a side mirror (I think), was sent into the right lane, bounced off the side, and, still fighting to keep upright, finally fell under the moving gravel truck. I ended up with a broken pelvis and an education in how judges assign liability.

Dan Turner, Oakland, CA

Max Whittaker for The New York Times

I was doored by a car twice and hit in a crosswalk all on bikes. Dont tell my mom.

Molly Cohen

I was hit by cars while on a bike three times in two years in L.A. Two right-hooks, one road-raged me into a row of parked cars. Hit once on San Pablo in Oakland: a thrown-open door that I bent all the way back and flipped over the top. He demanded I pay to repair his car door and threatened to get his gun before he ran.

Christopher Kidd, Oakland, CA

Max Whittaker for The New York Times

There are many who say that autonomous or smart cars will solve this. So far, Im unpersuaded. Since 2014, over $80 billion dollars has been spent on smart or connected cars (more on these in a minute) and autonomous vehicles, arguably to make cars safer. But investing in the car of the future is investing in the wrong problem. We need to be thinking about how we can create a world with fewer cars.

Among the safety measures proposed by car companies are encouraging pedestrians and bicyclists to use R.F.I.D. tags, which emit signals that cars can detect. This means its becoming the pedestrians responsibility to avoid getting hit. But if keeping people safe means putting the responsibility on them (or worse, criminalizing walking and biking), we need to think twice about the technology were developing.

This may be the worst outcome of the automobile-centered 20th century: the assumption that its people who need to get out of the way of these lethal machines, instead of the other way around.

I was biking in the street after work when a car pulled out of a parking garage without looking and clipped my back tire. I went down, but fortunately only did some deep tissue damage that healed in a week. My bike tires were pretty bent and had to be replaced; I was a lucky one.

J. R. Raith

I was hit by a car in July 2017 in San Francisco. I was getting out of an Uber and the driver, who just dropped me off, backed over me as I waited to cross the street.

Danny Harris, Upper East Side, Manhattan, New York

Joshua Bright for The New York Times

Two years ago, a drunk driver ran over me with his pickup truck. He kept going hit and run. No one on the scene thought I'd make it. The doctors didn't believe I'd make it. I had skull fractures, a broken jaw in three places and wired shut, a punched lung with added tracheotomy. I was in a coma for a week, and woke up alone.

Ryan Cary Wear

I was hit by a car when I was 11, in Queens. I was knocked to the ground, but otherwise unhurt because the car was moving slowly. The driver got out and made sure I was O.K. before leaving. Three of my friends (one pedestrian and two cyclists, all adults) were killed by cars.

Lauren Weinberg, Waterloo, Ontario

Tara Walton for The New York Times

Many so-called advances in car design may, thus far, be making things much worse. The internet-equipped connected car, for example, initially introduced by Cadillac in 1996 as a luxury safety feature known as OnStar, has morphed into something else entirely. Increasingly large and complicated dashboard screens take cognitive resources away from the task at hand, which is driving, and have the potential to be as dangerous as texting while driving.

Just as all these interested parties scramble to make cars more technologically complex, theyve gone all-in on making them bigger, much bigger. Americans are buying and car manufacturers are producing more S.U.V.s than ever before, a shift that has led to a 69 percent increase in pedestrian fatalities, according to the Governors Highway Safety Association.

Because the front end of an S.U.V. is higher than the average cars front end, it is far more likely to hit a pedestrian in the chest or head and twice as likely to kill walkers, runners, cyclists and children, compared to regular cars. And yet, S.U.V. sales account for 60 percent of new vehicle sales.

One of the easiest ways to make cars safer would be to make them smaller. Another way? Figuring out how to get people to drive less by providing safer, more sustainable alternatives to the car.

I was hit by a car when a lady had a seizure and ran headlong into me. Its been over nine years now. I had one cervical spine surgery and need another. I have headaches every day and terrible neurological symptoms. I used public transit for years when I was more able-bodied, and fewer cars isn't the answer when you have disabilities.

Erin Gilmer

Once as a cyclist in the burbs. Once as a pedestrian in Brooklyn. And another time as a cyclist in Brooklyn, I was forced off the road into a parked car

Ronald Marans, Upper East Side, Manhattan, New York

Joshua Bright for The New York Times

I've been hit by cars twice in San Francisco. Both in the Mission District. Both drivers were making illegal left turns into me. Both drivers were irate that my body impact damaged their car.

Jeff Tumlin

I was hit while cycling by a left-turning truck driver who said I "came out of nowhere." I was airlifted to the hospital and had seven broken bones, five surgeries, spent three months in hospital, one year in a wheelchair. The driver went to jail ... Just kidding, of course he only got a ticket. No real consequences.

Lou Savastani, Narberth, PA

Mark Makela for The New York Times

I got knocked down by a taxi that sped off outside Jemaa el-Fnaa in Marrakech, Morocco. A lovely rug merchant rushed over, insisted I drink his tonic water for the quinine. I said Shukran! But I dont think I got malaria. Yet I was revived and appreciate his kindness.

Lila Kerns

My 12-year-old son was killed in a crash in front of our home on Oct. 8, 2013. Sammy kissed me goodbye and said, I love you Mommy. I never imagined those would be his last words. Sammy was bright, kind, athletic and had a huge heart. We miss him every day. After his death, I joined with others and helped found Families for Safe Streets in N.Y.C.

Amy Cohen, New York City

Demetrius Freeman for The New York Times

Im not so nave to think we can get rid of cars altogether, but we have so many tools to eliminate traffic-related injuries and fatalities right now. Banning all passenger auto-driving vehicles above a certain weight and front grill height would be a great start. Other solutions run the gamut from the quick and easy fixes like reducing speed limits, eliminating right turns on red, building protected bike lanes and instituting congestion pricing to major and necessary commitments like funding new transit projects (upgrading, maintaining and expanding existing transit systems) and rethinking land use to encourage walkable development rather than sprawl.

We can all commit to driving less, which reduces both CO2 emissions and the potential for crashes. We need to be as defensive about crosswalks and bike lanes as drivers are about their cars (and where we believe we are entitled to park them).

Until then, the streets will belong to the death machines.

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Opinion | Cars Are Death Machines. Self-Driving Tech Won't Change That. - The New York Times

The mother-daughter duo making skincare from native plants and traditional medicines in the Pilbara have taken home the grand prize at Generation Ones inaugural Dream Summit.

Josie Alec and her daughter, Adrianna Irvine-Stanes, from Karratha, WA, were awarded $30,000 of Minderoo Seed Funding to help move their business, Jummi Factory into its next stages.

Ms Alec said she is still processing the win.

I think we are still a bit shocked! But weve come home and now were moving forward into planning, Ms Alec said.

Jummi Factory uses native plants to create skincare such as lip and skin balms, deodorants, rubs, exfoliators, insect repellent and perfume.

The business was inspired by Ms Alecs mother, who was a traditional healer.

My mum is a traditional healer [and] she passed on all her knowledge of that and plants, healing plants from our local area. She passed it to me and my kids, Ms Alec said.

Stepping into the business world has been a difficult transition for Ms Alec, particularly creating a contemporary product with ancient roots.

I had to walk that invisible line of where the business was and where I had to take it but being very clear of legalities whilst modernising something very ancient. It was really hard, Ms Alec said.

Self-funding the entire business before the award, Ms Alec said this funding award was a huge relief and makes moving forward easier and more successful.

The biggest picture is sustainability and cultural development. Its doing what we do best, we have a wonderful gift, we have a beautiful country and we have amazing products that come from that, Ms Alec said.

Sharing the beauty of our culture is the main aim for me, sharing that love that makes our culture so special and changing perceptions. If I can bring healing from my culture to someone else in this country or another, thats it for me.

The Dream Summit saw over 80 of Australias most talented Indigenous entrepreneurs come together in Sydney for two days of mentoring and personal development.

Head of Dream Summits Indigenous Advisory Group and a key force in building the event, Mr Leslie Delaforce said the event was aimed at connecting Indigenous business owners from across the nation.

It can be a really fragmented space, the idea was to get these business people in one room and create that network and fabric of community, Mr Delaforce said.

Having his own experience building a business, Mr Delaforce knows the struggles all too well.

You know when you look around to share stories and collaborate with mob, there wasnt really anyone there. But we tried it out, and we made mistakes but we made it in the end. And I think now its about looking at what we have and thinking, how do we pass this onto other mob?

Mr Delaforce said the amount of talent that Dream Summit witnessed was incredible, but he commended Jummi Factory particularly.

It is really powerful seeing mob get up on stage and talk about their personal story and how they have applied that to a business whether they have battled with domestic violence or self-harm, Mr Delaforce said.

Hearing Josies struggle that she had trying to grow her business, she had those business factors, but also had the viability of the business to grow and its her family passion.

Mr Delaforce said a goal for the summit is to continue to support its participants.

Even though its back to work, we must keep up that drive through products and services to help the participants move that ignite stage to the accelerate stage, Mr Delaforce said.

We want to help mob come together and we want to build that Indigenous entrepreneur ecosystem.

By Rachael Knowles

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Skincare brand infused with traditional knowledge wins thousands in business funding - National Indigenous Times

Most productivity advice for the workplace tells you how to produce more and more, without helping you examine how much you really want to produce, and what external forces might be mitigating productivity. That amount can differ, largely depending on what you are required to produce in order to succeed at work. One could also argue that the standard productivity advice assumes that you are already treated fairly in the workplace.

If you work for yourself, there may be even more pressure to produce, because in many small businesses, you are the sole producer. But in all the talk about increasing productivity, weve lost a key question: what is a reasonable amount of work to produce? And how do you produce effectively when you may be sabotaged at work?

We logically cannot produce work product all the time. Aside from the standard breaks we take for eating and sleeping, there is also the question of practicing good self-care. For some, that means having time completely alone; for others, it means spending time with close friends and family; for others, it means having as much social time as possible. Its not a one-size-fits-all plan for mental replenishment. But it may appear that as much as you try to reach that mythical work-personal balance, the more it seems out of reach.

You may have read self-help texts that recommend you meet with your employer about prioritizing your tasks, ask for more meaty assignments, or even ask for support staff. But what chance do you really have for reaching your desired productivity when roadblocks are put in your path? Consider that women of color are more likely to be asked to do less-important office tasks (like putting paper in the copier and getting coffee) than their white counterparts, in addition to their regular work duties. In addition, women and people of color are more often given worse assignments than their white male coworkers.

Also considered being disabled in the workplace. If an employee has depression and his or her manager avoids talking to the employee about their needs, that employee is more likely to take days off of work due to depression. Likewise, when employers reach out to their employees with depression, they are less likely to miss days of work. Consider that having depression already leads to a decrease in the ability to produce work product. Missing days of work increases that amount of uncompleted work. As you read, a leader in the workplace can make a big difference in an employees comfort level and ability to continue with their work.

Discrimination in the workplace can be overt and covert. It can be a blatant slur, or it can consist of microaggressions smaller yet noticeable attempts to demean you. If you are experiencing bias in the workplace, call it out when you see it. You may be told that the person didnt mean it, or that you must have misunderstood what the person was saying to you. You may be told to look at someones intent rather than their actual behavior Oh, Im sure they didnt mean to say that to you. Still continue to speak out about it, keep documentation, and know the Equal Employment Opportunity Commissions guidelines on harassment in the workplace.

It is only when the issues of blatant and covert discrimination are addressed in the workplace, and consequences are given for that discrimination, can many members of the workforce truly be as productive as they want. Education in the workplace regarding overt and covert discrimination can also help make progress and only if everyone attends educational sessions, from entry-level positions to executives. Encourage open communication from employees about possible mistreatment in the workplace.

The more we educate ourselves, the more we are prepared to confront instances of discrimination. The more we speak out, the more we are empowered to make changes and also push for them.

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Trying to Reach Full Productivity When You Are Being Held Back - Forbes

CreditSarah Maxwell

First things first: This is not another article that simply tells you to go on a date night.

Nothing against date nights. The best ones can remind you why you fell in love with your spouse or partner in the first place.

Or they can involve staring at each other in a sleep-deprived haze over an expensive meal while intermittently glancing at your phone for updates from the babysitter.

If date nights arent working for you, or if youve been struggling to maintain intimacy for months or even years after having children, here are some different ways to stay close to your spouse or partner, despite the stresses and frustrations of parenthood.

[Learn how your partner can take on more emotional labor.]

Just as there was never a perfect time to have children, there will rarely be a perfect time to rekindle a connection with your partner.

Its easy to push your romantic relationship to the side: Lets get through sleep training first. Or: As soon as I get back into shape. Or: Maybe when Im less tired.

Then winter arrives. Everyones sick again? Lets wait until we get better.

But if you keep waiting, experts say, regaining intimacy can become increasingly difficult.

It seems to have been the norm for so many couples to say to themselves, Now that the kids are here, well focus on the kids. Our day will come, said Michele Weiner-Davis, a marriage and family therapist whose TEDx talk about sex-starved marriages has been viewed more than 5 million times. But heres the bad news from someone whos been on the front lines with couples for decades. Unless you treat your relationship, your marriage, like its a living thing which requires nurturing on a regular basis you wont have a marriage after the kids leave home.

Couples may start to lead parallel but separate lives and discover they have nothing in common.

Theyre looking at a stranger, and they ask themselves, Is this the way I want to spend the last few years of my life? Ms. Weiner-Davis said. And for too many couples the answer is no.

But all of that is preventable, she added.

Its absolutely essentially not to be complacent about what I call a ho-hum sex life. Touching is a very primal way of connecting and bonding, Ms. Weiner-Davis said. If those needs to connect physically are ignored over a period of time, or are downgraded so that its not satisfying, I can assure people there will be problems in the relationship moving forward.

If you had a vaginal birth, you and your partner may expect to begin having sex as early as six weeks after the baby is born, if you have been physically cleared to do so.

[Read our guide to sex during your pregnancy.]

For some couples, that signals the clock is now ticking, said f, author of Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.

But a lot of women simply wont be ready that early. And thats O.K.

After the postpartum checkup, I didnt feel like myself, I didnt feel physically ready to have sex, said Emily Stroia, 33, who lives in Los Angeles. In terms of libido, I didnt really have one.

Ms. Stroia, the mother of a 10-month-old, eventually starting having sex with her partner once a month but before she became pregnant, they had sex nearly every week, she said.

I still kind of forget that Im in a relationship, said Ms. Stroia, who is struggling with sleep deprivation. I have to remind myself that I have a partner.

After any potential medical problems are ruled out, Dr. Nagoski advises couples to start over with one another by establishing a sexual connection in much in the same way they might have done when they were first getting to know each other: making out, holding each other and gradually moving in the direction of bare skin.

Thats especially important if theres a birth parent involved, she added.

That persons body is brand-new, Dr. Nagoski said. The whole meaning of their body has transformed.

It also helps to remember that intimacy isnt just hot sex, said Rick Miller, a psychotherapist in Massachusetts.

Its steadfast loyalty, a commitment to getting through stressful times together and, most importantly, enjoying the warm, cozy moments of home together, Mr. Miller said.

Taking the time to nurture your individual physical and emotional needs will give you the bandwidth to nurture your relationship, too, so that it doesnt feel like another task on the to-do list.

When you experience your partners desire for intimacy as an intrusion, ask yourself, How deprived am I in my own self-care? What do I need to do to take care of myself in order to feel connected to my own sexuality? said Dr. Alexandra Sacks, a reproductive psychiatrist and host of the Motherhood Sessions podcast.

That might mean going to the gym or talking to your partner about decreasing the invisible mental load that is often carried by one parent.

Enlisting the support of your family (or your chosen family) to take some time for yourself or discuss some of the struggles that accompany parenting can help you recharge.

Relying on others is an indirect way of working on intimacy, Mr. Miller said.

This is especially important for gay couples, he added, who may not typically share vulnerabilities because the world hasnt been a safe place.

Practicing self-care as a couple is equally important.

Dr. Sacks recommends making a list of everything you used to do together as a couple that helped you feel close, and thinking about how those rituals have changed.

Is your toddler sleeping in your bed, spread out like a sea star between you and your partner? Have you stopped doing the things together you used to really enjoy like working out or going to the movies? Dr. Sacks recommends thinking about how youre going to make an adjustment in order to create physical and emotional intimacy with your partner.

For example, if you always used to talk about your day together and now that time is completely absorbed by caregiving, the absence of that connection will be profound.

You cant just eliminate it and expect to feel as close, she said.

According to Dr. Nagoski, one way to nurture intimacy is to remind yourselves of the context in which you had a great sexual connection together.

What characteristics did your partner have? What characteristics did your relationship have?

Then, she said, think about the setting.

Were we at home with the door locked? Were we on vacation? Was it over text? Was it at a party in a closet at a strangers house against a wall of other peoples coats? What context really works for us? Dr. Nagoski said.

When doing this exercise, and when thinking about your current libido (or lack thereof) its also helpful to remember that not everyone experiences spontaneous desire the kind of sexual desire that pops out of nowhere. For example, youre walking down the street and suddenly cant stop thinking about sex.

Millions of other people experience something different called responsive desire, which stems from erotic stimulation. In other words, arousal comes first and then desire.

Both types of desire are normal.

Dr. Nagoski suggested cordoning off an imaginative protected space in your mind where you can bring forward the aspects of your identity that are relevant to your erotic connection and you close the door on the parts of yourself that are not important for an erotic connection.

With enough focus, this strategy can work even if the physical space youre using contains reminders of your role as a caregiver.

It can also help to think of your bedroom as a sanctuary, advised Ms. Weiner-Davis.

For couples who have spent years co-sleeping with their children, that can be somewhat difficult.

I do believe there comes a point where its important to have those boundaries again, Ms. Weiner-Davis said.

Its easy to forget how much time and effort we put into our relationships in the early days: planning for dates, caring for our bodies and (gasp) having long conversations with one another.

People feel sort of sad when they get that news that yes, it does require effort to build a connection across a lifetime, Dr. Nagoski said. You dont just dive in you dont just put your body in the bed and put your genitals against each other and expect for it to be ecstatic.

Karen Jeffries (a pen name she uses as a writer and performer to protect her privacy) said her sex life with her husband is better than ever after having had two children. Theyve always had a strong physical connection, she said. But they also plan ahead and prioritize.

There are times where Ill text him and Ill be like, Were having sex tonight, and hell be like O.K. or vice versa, she said. Sometimes Ill send him a picture of a taco and hell send me a picture of an eggplant.

Ms. Jeffries, 37, a fourth-grade dual-language teacher in Westchester County, N.Y., is the author of Hilariously Infertile, an account of the fertility treatments she endured to conceive her two daughters. Her children, now aged 6 and 4, are on a strict sleep schedule with a 7:30 p.m. bedtime, allowing for couple time in the evening.

Think of building good sexual habits just like you would develop good eating or exercising habits, she advised.

Sex begets more sex. Kind of like when you go to the gym, she said. It takes you a while to build that habit.

Then, she added, Youll notice little by little that it becomes more and more as opposed to less and less.

A small 2018 study found that attending group therapy helped couples with low sexual desire as well as those who had discrepancies in their levels of sexual desire.

Individual or couples therapy can also be a good place to start.

For many parents, however, and especially those with young children, finding the time and money to go to a therapist can be challenging.

Esther Perel, a psychotherapist whose TED talks on sexuality and relationships have been viewed by millions, offers an online course, currently $199, that includes a section called Sex After Kids.

Ms. Perel also hosts the popular Where Should We Begin? podcast, in which couples share the intimate details of their troubles during recorded therapy sessions.

A number of other podcasts also offer advice to couples, including "Marriage Therapy Radio and Relationship Advice.

Regardless of what steps you take to rebuild a connection with your spouse, experts say its important to take action as soon as possible.

The child is not going to take up less space over time, Dr. Sacks said. So the question is: How do you carve out space for your relationships around the child, as the child continues to develop with different but continually demanding needs.

Christina Caron is a parenting reporter at The New York Times.

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How to Reconnect With Your Partner After Having Kids - NYT Parenting

In the UK, approximately one in four people experience mental health issues, according to the mental health charity Mind. Although illnesses including anxiety and depression arent a new phenomenon, research proves that mental health issues are at an all time high and national health services, like the NHS, are struggling to keep up with the growing need for more accessible resources.

Multiple studies have proven that technology, specifically social media, is detrimental to peoples mental wellbeing. However, tech is taking on some of the responsibility to help those struggling with their mental health. One project is the Flow app, developed by the Malm-based medical device company, Flow Neuroscience. The chatbot therapist aims to help those struggling with their mental health while they wait to be seen by a medical professional.

The free app, which is currently available on iOS set to launch on Android within the month engages users in daily conversations to offer self-help techniques, mood tracking features, curated videos to better visualize mental health, and meditation and mental exercises.

The app was created by a team of clinical psychologists and machine learning experts and is based on the latest psychology and neuroscience research. The virtual therapist guides users through 18 sessions on why sleep, exercise, nutrition, and meditation are the main pillars in recovering from depression while gathering mood data to offer personalized behavioral therapy.

The always-on source of therapy provided by Flow ensures people get the help they need as quickly as possible, Daniel Mansson, Clinical Psychologist, CEO and Co-Founder of Flow said in a press release. Flow can provide anonymity without the fear of being judged by others. This is great as some people feel anxious when it comes to talking about their depression to another human.

While theres hundreds of apps out there to help you better understand meditation and mindfulness, theres been little innovation in regards to treating depression. However Flow has been approved in the UK and EU to treat major depressive disorder effectively. The chatbot also works alongside Flows headset, a behavioral therapy brain stimulator to treat depression without the need for medication.

The New England Journal of Medicine and the British Journal of Psychiatry, outline that brain stimulation of the type used in the Flow headset had a similar impact to antidepressants but with fewer and less-severe side effects.

Depression is associated with lowered activity in an area in the front of the brain, as explained by the video above. According to Flows findings, 24 percent of its users overcame their depression completely while 41 percent felt at least 50 percent better after 6 weeks of brain stimulation treatment.

Currently, Flow is in talks with the NHS to potentially make its headset available on prescription, but for the moment it costs 399 in the UK.

As the company outlines, this type of behavioral therapy may not work for everyone, just like prescribed medication doesnt. While technology may not be the answer to diagnosing, treating, and preventing mental health illness, its exciting to see how innovative technology is being used for good while reducing some of the strain placed on the NHS.

Read next: UN-backed chocolate bar comes with a free blockchain token and a choice

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This bot that helps people with depression could be the future of therapy - The Next Web

Do you feel like a loser? Do your friends' Facebook posts make you wonder why they have better jobs, vacations and children than you do? Then I have some amazing news for you: It's time to embrace your failure. Cherish your failure. Because according to some of the hottest self-help books, failure is the new success.

The idea behind these books is simple: Failure is like kale horrible, but good for you.

Let's take a look at some books that should be in everyone's personal failure library. There's "The Art of Failure," "The Value of Failure," "The Wisdom of Failure," "Fueled by Failure," and "Failing Forward."

Did you honestly think you could fail without the help of a book? If so, you have been failing at failing. These books will help you be the best failure you can be.

Now, let's say you really want to fail, but you can't afford all these books. The helpful people at TED Talks will teach you to fail for free!

Watching TED Talks is like stepping into a magical theme park of failure.

Speakers offer such nuggets of insight as, "Don't fail fast - fail mindfully"; "The unexpected benefit of celebrating failure"; and "The fringe benefits of failure."

That last talk is by J.K. Rowling. I'm not sure I want failure tips from someone who's sold 500 million "Harry Potter" books, but whatever.

Which brings me to the point of this whole exercise in failure. I don't need books or TED Talks to learn how to fail. I've already hit the failure mother lode: since the age of 10, I've been a fan of the Cleveland Browns. In the past 20 years, the Browns have had 18 losing seasons. That's an enviable ninety-percent failure rate. After the 2016 season, their coach said that if the team lost all their games he would jump into Lake Erie. They did; he jumped; and then he was fired. No book can teach you to fail like that.

Whenever I find myself in danger of succeeding, I just ask myself: "What would the Browns do?"

But in the pursuit of failure, nothing's as easy as it seems. This season, the Browns have done the unthinkable: they're actually in first place in their division! Some people even think that their new quarterback, Baker Mayfield, could someday lead them to the Super Bowl. Now that failure is finally cool, it's just like the Browns to screw that up.

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Story produced by Dustin Stephens.

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Andy Borowitz on how to be a successful failure - CBS News

In June, 1994, at a pro-choice conference in Chicago, twelve black women gathered together to talk. One, Loretta Ross, was the executive director of the first rape crisis center in this country. Another, Toni Bond, was the executive director of the Chicago Abortion Fund. A third, Cynthia Newbille, was the leader of the National Black Womens Health Project, which was among the first national organizations to be devoted to the wellness of black women and girls. After the first day of the event, which was hosted by the Illinois Pro-Choice Alliance and the Ms. Foundation, the group met in a hotel room. We did what black women do when were in spaces where there are just a handful of us, Bond, who is now a religious scholar, recalled. We pulled the sistas together and talked about what was missing.

Abortion had been decriminalized in 1973, with the Supreme Courts Roe v. Wade decision, but, with the passage, in 1977, of the Hyde Amendment, which banned federal funding for almost all abortions, the procedure had become too expensive for many women. In 1993, Bill and Hillary Clinton had proposed an overhaul of the health-care system, but reproductive-health coverage was sacrificed to make the reforms more palatable to Republican lawmakers. To the women in the hotel room, the conversation at the conference about reproductive health focussed too narrowly on choice. There had been no discussion of the services that black women needed most, such as fibroid-tumor screenings, mammograms, and pre- and postnatal care. (Black women have a higher risk of fibroids than white women, higher percentages of late-detected breast cancer, and a maternal-mortality rate that is more than three times higher.) Nor was there an acknowledgment that the reproductive and parenting decisions of black women were limited by poverty, unequal pay, lack of access to adequate housing and schools, and the abuses of the policing and criminal-justice systems.No one was talking about black womens health as a whole, Ross told me, not long ago. Too many people were examining policies through the lens of white supremacy.

The women created the term reproductive justice to describe the scope of their activism. They were inspired by the work of the black legal scholar Dorothy Roberts, whose research traced the history of efforts in this country to control black womens reproductive freedom, beginning with the forced procreation of enslaved women. Abuses had continued into the nineteen-seventies, when thousands of womenincluding some who were receiving public assistance in North Carolina and others who were incarcerated in Californiawere involuntarily sterilized. In Arizona, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Washington, state-court judges often offered black female defendants reduced prison sentences if they agreed to get birth-control shots or implants. (This practice was happening as recently as two years ago.) As Roberts observed, black people had turned to their families, friends, and neighbors for the family-planning services and child care that the government had denied them. Bond said, Reproductive justice offers us an opportunity to talk about the ways in which black women have exercised agency and been resilient even in the midst of reproductive and sexual oppression.

The twelve women called themselves Women of African Descent for Reproductive Justice. After the meeting in the hotel room, they bought full-page ads in the Washington Post and Roll Call, publishing a letter to Congress that argued for unimpeded access to abortion as part of the full range of reproductive health services offered under health care reform, which should be available regardless of ability to pay, with no interference from the government. The letter stressed that reform should be comprehensive, and must include strong anti-discriminatory provisions.

During the following months, Ross and some of the other women led a reproductive-justice discussion in Cairo, Egypt, and wrote a public letter in support of Joycelyn Elders, the former Surgeon General, whom Bill Clinton had asked to resign after she said that she approved of educating children about masturbation to avoid the spread of AIDS. In 1997, with funding from the Ford Foundation, sixteen groups representing African-American, Asian-American, Pacific Islander, Latina, and indigenous women came together to form SisterSong, a national collective advocating for the reproductive and sexual health of women of color. SisterSong was based in Atlanta, the birthplace of the civil-rights student protests and the home of several historically black colleges; the city also had the largest black gay population in the South. Activists there had already created a parallel system of care, encompassing the Feminist Womens Health Center, an abortion and gynecological clinic in the North Druid Hills, which grew out of a womens self-help health group, in 1976; the National Black Womens Health Project (now the Black Womens Health Imperative); and SisterLove, founded, in 1989, to tackle H.I.V./AIDS.

In the next few years, the leaders of SisterSong and of newer reproductive-justice organizationssuch as Spark Reproductive Justice Now, founded, in 2007, to include queer perspectives in the movementheld round-table discussions and met up for dinners and happy hours, as well as get-togethers at Charis Books, a feminist bookstore downtown. In 2004, after the passage of the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act, SisterSong, Planned Parenthood, and the National Organization for Women, among other groups, put together the March for Womens Lives on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. In 2010, after the passage of the Affordable Care Act, several Atlanta-based reproductive-justice groups sent their members to D.C., to protest the Stupak-Pitts Amendment, which aimed to prevent federal funds from being used to pay for insurance plans that covered abortions. The current Democratic Presidential candidate Julin Castro, one of several politicians who have recently spoken about the importance of reproductive justice, told me that he was thankful to the Atlanta community who had launched the movement. Their voices are crucial, especially now, to get us out of our comfort zone, he said.

Oriaku Njoku was twenty-five when she visited Atlanta, in October, 2010, to attend the Atlanta Pride Festival. The daughter of middle-class Nigerian immigrants, Njoku had grown up in a mostly white neighborhood in Bowling Green, Kentucky. While attending the University of Kentucky, she came out to her siblings, then to her parents, and participated in L.G.B.T.Q. activism. After graduating, she worked in retail in Kentucky and Indiana. At the Pride celebrations, she was drawn to Atlanta, with its ambitious black residents and its queer scene, and moved there a few months later. In January, 2013, she attended an event held by Spark that was an introduction to reproductive-justice organizing, and later volunteered on a Spark initiative to stop the practice in Georgia prisons of shackling pregnant women during childbirth. Doing reproductive-justice work has been the one place where I feel like I can bring my full self to the table, she told me recently. Being a first-generation queer black Southern fat femme, I can bring all those identities to work and do it unapologetically. Njoku, who is now thirty-four, calls herself a giver. She has the Southern female tendency to go out of her way to put others at ease, filling in an awkward silence with a caring question, a compliment, or a wavering um. When she is frustrated, she is just as accommodating, but her voice takes on a slight edge. She likes to wear Igbo dresses and head wraps in vivid colors, and has a sprawling tattoo on her forearm that reads Love is lifeforcea quote from the queer Jamaican-American poet and activist June Jordan.

After the 2013 Spark event, Njoku started travelling to other reproductive-justice gatherings, including the annual summit held by the National Network of Abortion Funds, where people talked about intersectionality and abortion access. She briefly dated a trans man, a human-rights defender from Uganda, who was seeking asylum and trying to bring his children to the United States; she realized that trans men also had trouble exercising their reproductive rights. She began to ask people for their gender pronouns.

In February, 2014, Njoku got a job taking patients information and making appointments at the Atlanta Womens Center, an abortion clinic near the wealthy enclave of North Buckhead. As of that year, legislatures in Georgia and twenty-five other states had enacted laws restricting the coverage of abortion in the Affordable Care Act health-insurance marketplaces. Women who contacted the clinic were often struggling to come up with the money for their abortions, which became more expensive as their pregnancies progressed.

Njoku regularly directed such women to call the National Abortion Federation, which, in 2014, donated to more than a hundred thousand women based on their needs, with the expectation that the women would raise as much as they could themselves. Its hotline was often busy for hours on end. When Njoku looked for regional sources of assistance, she discovered only one in Georgia: the Magnolia Fund, which helped women pay for abortions performed at the Feminist Womens Health Center. (Magnolia closed last year.)

In May, 2014, Njoku and two colleagues decided to set up their own abortion fund to help women in Georgia, Alabama, Florida, Mississippi, South Carolina, and Tennessee. I was, like, We gotta do right by our people, she recalled. Theres no reason that our folks should be calling multiple numbers and waiting on hold forever to try and get in touch with someone for basic health care. Kwajelyn Jackson, of the Feminist Womens Health Center, called abortion funds the conduit through which people are going to be able to get connected with care in the long run. That November, Njoku took a job at Summit Medical Associates, assisting in the operating room and caring for women in post-abortion recovery. Meanwhile, she approached the National Network of Abortion Funds for advice. Njoku and her colleagues worked from coffee shops and buffet restaurants, applying for grants and organizing fund-raisers, including a fish fry. Their fund, Access Reproductive Care-Southeast, began operating in May, 2015. Its first grant paid for a headquarters, in an airy arts center in downtown Atlanta. By January, 2016, Njoku was working there full time.

The following spring, Njoku went on a tour of the Deep South, hoping to form relationships with employees at independent clinics, which, in that part of the country, are more numerous than Planned Parenthood centers. At each one, she made note of the affordable hotels nearby, the schedules for intakes and procedures, waiting lists and patient backlogs, and whether there were translators on hand. The fund set up a hotline in July, 2016. As it received more calls, she needed more volunteers to take women to and from appointments. (Clinics require that women receiving sedation have someone with them to take them home.)

That year, ARC-Southeast gave funding and assistance to about fifty women each month; it now serves more than three hundred a month. The average cost of an abortion is around five hundred dollars, with later-term abortions sometimes in the thousands of dollars. ARC-Southeast gives most women between seventy-five and a hundred dollars. The fund now employs a staff of seven, who are mostly black and queer, and has more than a hundred volunteers. They provide a kind of care that might be considered familial, booking travel and hotel rooms, taking women out for meals, and even putting them up for a night or two in their own homes. We try to lead with love, Njoku said. In 2017, Njokus sister Dirichi, who goes by Chi Chi, joined the organization to run the hotline. A former nurse, Chi Chi had little knowledge of reproductive justice, but she felt a connection to the funds mission. When she was nineteen, she got pregnant after being raped by a friend and had an abortion, an experience she often shares with callers.

ARC-Southeast has found rooms for homeless women who would otherwise have spent the night outside the clinic, and counselled mothers and daughters who needed abortions at the same time. Not long ago, the fund referred an undocumented Honduran woman living in Atlanta with her two children, whose husband had been detained by Immigration and Customs Enforcement, to the National Abortion Federation, which agreed to pay for her procedure. The woman was twenty-six weeks pregnant, six weeks past the limit for abortions in Georgia. She could have taken a bus to a state where the gestational limit was higher, but shed heard that immigration raids on buses were common. Njoku decided that the funds hotline operator, Crystal Zaragoza, who had previously run a clinic for queer migrants in Phoenix, should drive the woman in a rental car to a clinic in Bethesda, Maryland. Zaragoza and the woman stayed in an Airbnb for four days. The fund paid more than a thousand dollars for the car, the accommodation, the womans medication, and care for her children while she was away.

Abortion in Georgia is legal up to the twentieth week of pregnancy, and fourteen of the states seventeen clinics are in the Atlanta area. Calls come in to the fund from all over the Deep South; for some women, the clinics near them have closed, or offer only limited services. In South Carolina, there are just three abortion clinics. In 1995, the state put into place regulations requiring that all clinics terminating second-trimester pregnancies meet the same design and construction standards as ambulatory surgical facilities. Ostensibly meant to insure womens safety, the regulations dictated, in overwhelming detail, specifications including the width of the corridors, the number and size of procedure rooms, and the size of the janitors closet. Pro-choice organizations and physicians agreed that the regulations were politically motivated; the necessary changes would be too costly for most clinics to make, and, ultimately, they would do little to improve patients care. More than half of the South Carolina women who had abortions in 2017 travelled outside the state for their procedures.

Spring is the funds busiest season. (As Chi Chi put it, People get it on in the winter.) In April, 2018, ARC-Southeast assisted a hundred and eighty-two women. This past April, it helped three hundred and ninety-seven callers, and Njoku spent much of her time in her car. One morning, she woke up early to pick up a woman from her home in south Atlanta and took her to the Atlanta Womens Center, in the northeast of the city. There, she met up with another woman, who was accompanied by her partner and their child, and gave her cash for food and a hotel. Then she took the first woman home and headed back to the office. In the parking lot, she received a call from Chi Chi about Naomi (a pseudonym), a woman who was waiting at Summit Medical Associates, four miles away, in need of an escort. Naomi had driven more than two hundred miles that morning, from Columbia, South Carolina, for her appointment. She believed that she was fourteen weeks pregnant. Twenty minutes after the call, Njoku arrived at the clinic and signed Naomi in. The process for second-trimester abortions, known as dilation and evacuation, usually takes place over two days. After the first appointment, Njoku gave Naomi a ride to her motel and learned that she and her partner were not speaking, that her best friend had wanted her to have the baby, and that she hadnt told her parents she was pregnant, because she was too ashamed. Naomi knew that she needed an escort, but another friend, who had agreed to accompany her, had cancelled at the last minute. She had hoped to persuade the clinic to make an exception.

When I recently talked to Naomi, she still hadnt told her family about her abortion, and she said she would take the secret of it to the grave with her. On her first night in Atlanta, she recalled, she had been in pain and lonely, and had slept badly. In the morning, when Njoku picked her up for her second appointment, Naomi was amused to see Njokus Pomeranian-Shiba Inu mix, Marley, in the passenger seat. She felt comforted by Njokus presence. I didnt have nobody there with me, and just in the moment of time being in that car with herthat really meant a lot, Naomi said.

This past spring, after the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, in October, 2018, legislatures in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Ohio, and Utah all passed bills that placed restrictions on abortion, which were intended to undermine Roev. Wade. In May, Alabama passed a bill that, if it goes into effect, would outlaw abortion, even when pregnancies are the result of rape or incest, except in cases where the mothers life is at risk; doctors who performed the procedure could go to jail for up to ninety-nine years. The new law is being challenged in federal court by the American Civil Liberties Union and Planned Parenthood on behalf of Alabama abortion providers.

In Georgia, a heartbeat bill was passed, banning abortion after about six weeksbefore most women know that they are pregnant. In June, the A.C.L.U., the A.C.L.U. of Georgia, the Center for Reproductive Rights, and Planned Parenthood filed a lawsuit, representing SisterSong, Georgia medical providers, and their patients, arguing that the law disproportionately affects people of color and rural and poor residents. Stacey Abrams, who ran for governor of Georgia on a platform that included a call for reproductive justice, described the law, on Twitter, as a forced pregnancy bill.

When I visited the ARC-Southeast office this summer, Njoku and Chi Chi were worrying about the bill, too. Ive probably only had one or two callers who were under six weeks, and that scares me, Chi Chi said. Because, when this law happens, whats going to happen with all these other women? Hows it going to be like next year when these women call me and I have to tell them that they cant do this? Abortions arent going to stop, even if they make them illegal. And then I wonder, Well, whats going to happen to me? Am I going to get in trouble because Im helping these women? I told my sister, Ill go to jail. I want you to keep fighting for this.

In May, Njoku and her colleague Quita Tinsley made the same tour of clinics that Njoku had in 2016, anxious to see how abortion providers were faring in the aftermath of the legislation. At the West Alabama Womens Center, in Tuscaloosa, the director, Gloria Gray, a gruff, kind woman in her sixties, wearing dark-blue scrubs, greeted Tinsley and Njoku in the reception area. She showed them into her office, which was decorated with pictures of her grandchildren and Alabama football mementos. Affixed to the back of her computer monitor was a bumper sticker that read, If you still support Trump, stay 500 feet behind. I dont trust your judgment.

Gray and Njoku talked about the recently signed Alabama abortion law. Njoku explained that many callers to the fund assumed that it had already gone into effect. One woman living in Gulf Shores had called all the clinics in her area and discovered that they had closed. She had surmised that the ban was to blame. But the closures were more likely due to a range of licensing requirements known as the Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers (TRAP) laws, which have been passed by the health departments of Republican-controlled state legislatures since the nineties. As in South Carolina, the stipulations in TRAP laws are cumbersome, usually having little to do with medical necessity, and, in recent years, they have become more onerous. In ten states, including Alabama, Florida, Texas, and Mississippi, doctors performing abortions are required to have admitting privileges or similar arrangements at a nearby hospitalprivileges that some hospitals, for political or budgetary reasons, refuse to grant. As a result of various TRAP laws, the number of clinics in Alabama has declined from twenty in 1992 to just three. In 2016, the Supreme Court struck down Texass law requiring that any doctor performing an abortion have admitting privileges and that clinics be set up as ambulatory surgical centers; the decision, in Whole Womans Health v. Hellerstedt, deemed that the requirements placed an undue burden on people seeking access to abortions and were therefore unconstitutional. Last week, the Court said it would hear arguments in a case from Louisiana that is nearly identical, raising concerns that the 2016 decision will be overturned.

In 2015, Gray hired the renowned abortion doctor Willie Parker to replace the clinics former physician, who had retired. Parkera well-known Christian reproductive-justice advocate, who has been honored by the United Nations Office of Human Rights and by Planned Parenthood for his work in Mississippi and Alabamaapplied to the local hospital for admitting privileges, but was not granted them. The clinic had to shut down for eight months. It filed a lawsuit, and reached a settlement on the admitting-privileges requirement. But Gray said that she had sensed an unwelcoming atmosphere at the hospital ever since. The West Alabama Womens Center was often surrounded by protesters; one of them, Gray noticed, was the wife of a doctor at the hospital. Abortion is a safe procedure, but, in the rare case that a woman experiences complications, she needs to go to the hospital. I hate to send a patient out there and not know how shes being treated, Gray said. As a result, at the end of 2015, Gray decided that the center would stop providing abortions to women who were past the seventeenth week of pregnancy. A clinic in Huntsville, about a hundred and fifty miles away, was now the only one in the state that did late-term abortions.

Some obstacles had arisen from less expected places. In March, the Alabama reproductive-rights scene was shaken when Parker, who had also worked in the Huntsville clinic since 2016, was accused by the reproductive-rights activist Candice Russell of sexual assault. He denied any misconduct, but resigned his chairmanship of the board of Physicians for Reproductive Health. We lost a very high-profile, vocal person who spoke out on womens rights, because everybody is cancelling his speaking engagements now, and thats unfortunate, Gray said.

The day after the stop in Tuscaloosa, Njoku and Tinsley visited the Huntsville clinic, which was homey, with lilac walls. Its nice to finally meet, the receptionist said. Yall send us fundsyou got to know who youre working with, honey.

The clinic has a majority-black staff. The full-time physician, Yashica Robinson, who was polished even in scrubs, with dark, curled hair and elegant jewelry, greeted the women warmly. Dr. Parker says this is Wakanda, she said. She led Njoku and Tinsley into a tidy linoleum-floored break room, where she and Dalton Johnson, who started the clinic, in 2001, were having lunch. The Huntsville center was the last abortion clinic to have been certified in the state; TRAP laws had made opening new clinics prohibitively expensive and difficult.

The main thing with us is the constant financial strain, Johnson told Njoku. In March, a man had sued the clinic, claiming that when his girlfriend had had an abortion there, two years earlier, he had not given her permission to do so, and calling the termination a wrongful death. A county probate judge allowed the suit to proceed under the personhood amendment to Alabamas constitution, which passed in November, 2018, with the intent of declaring and affirming the public policy of the state to recognize and support the sanctity of unborn life and the rights of unborn children. Johnson said that, in April, the clinic had paid its lawyers fifteen thousand dollars in retainers.

Robinson joined the clinic in 2005, and in 2013 she applied to Huntsville Hospital for admitting privileges. The hospital stalled for such a long time that she hired a lawyer to push her case. The privileges, when they were granted, meant that she had to be within a thirty-minute drive of the hospital at all times in order to keep them. This is standard for ob-gyn providers in the area, and other doctors had formed groups to cover one anothers shifts, so that they could travel, but they excluded Robinson. Some of them did not want the lady who does abortions to deliver their patients babies, Robinson said; others were afraid of attracting protesters to their offices. She was desperate to hire another doctor for the clinic. She laughed, darkly. Its going to take somebody with a strong backbone to come and join us, and to put up with all it takes to live and work in this community, she said.

After the passage of the Alabama and Georgia restrictions, in May, Senators Bernie Sanders and Kirsten Gillibrand and the comedian Kumail Nanjiani encouraged their Twitter followers to donate to abortion funds, praising the work of ARC-Southeast and Yellowhammer, a fund that a University of Alabama graduate, Amanda Reyes, had co-founded, in September, 2017. By mid-July, ARC-Southeast received more than three hundred thousand dollars in donations. Yellowhammer, which funded three hundred and thirteen abortions in 2018 and is extremely active on social media, received more than two million dollars; it had not taken in as much in its entire existence before then. The singer Maggie Rogers pledged profits from her merchandise sales, and, in July, Pussy Riot played a sold-out concert in Birmingham benefitting the fund and Planned Parenthood.

While Njoku and Tinsley were in Tuscaloosa, they went to supper at a Tex-Mex restaurant with Reyes and some of her employees, including Candice Russell, the activist who had accused Parker of assault, who had recently joined the Yellowhammer staff. We all introduced ourselves, giving our preferred pronouns. The pro-choice movement, Russell said at one point, used the term reproductive justice too freely. Russell referred to Yellowhammers work with underhoused people, a near-synonym for homeless that Njoku and Tinsley later confessed they had never heard before. The dinner was surprisingly tense, with the Yellowhammer staff mostly ignoring their peers at ARC-Southeast, and Reyes focussing her attention on me. Later, when I asked Njoku about the tension, she shrugged it off, saying that she still hoped the funds would continue to work together on the cases of people in Alabama.

In June, the local news outlet AL.com published a story in which the directors of Alabamas three abortion clinics and a former Yellowhammer board member complained that Yellowhammer had used its donations for inflated salaries and unnecessary purchases. Reyes denied the claims, saying that the money was being spent appropriately. When I asked Reyes about the complaints, she said, Things moved so fast, and the speed at which we went from a really small organization with an all-volunteer workforce to becoming an organization that was poised to be so much more... resulted in those misunderstandings. Since then, she said, Yellowhammer had sought management advice and had hired a communications firm.

Njoku was glad that the abortion bans were inspiring people to donate and to volunteer. On social media, people were posting selfies of themselves wearing Everyone Loves Someone Who Had an Abortion T-shirts. Now everyone was an intersectional feminist, she said. But there was a danger, she thought, that people would forget the black women who had founded the movement to address ongoing injustices. Its not because its cute or because its sexy or because Stacey Abrams said reproductive justice in the State of the Union response, she said. Its because its real.

One Monday morning in June, Njoku and Chi Chi were training a new intern, Imani, a sophomore at Clark Atlanta University, to answer the hotline. Slight and bespectacled, Imani grew up in the Bronx and attended an all-girls Catholic school, where talk of sex and abortion was hush-hush. She had become a convert to reproductive justice after attending a conference hosted by the advocacy group Civil Liberties and Public Policy.

Njoku pulled up on her computer screen the voice mails that had been left over the weekend. She and Chi Chi have a teasing rapport, and make videos of themselves as Nigerian aunties who critique rap lyrics, a pastime that often makes its way into the office. Are you starting from the bottom, now were here? Njoku asked Chi Chi, quoting a lyric from a song by Drake.

Chi Chi said that she was; Njoku would start from the messages at the top of the list. Imani scooted her chair over to Njokus screen. Njoku turned on one of the Samsung Galaxy phones they use for the hotline. This is the trap phone, she said, referring to the prepaid cell phones typically used by drug dealers. Imani laughed.

Part of the job, Njoku explained, was to help callers by brainstorming how to hustle for the money they needed. They encouraged women to ask their family and friends for help with their abortion fees just as they would if they had any other bill they couldnt pay. Just because theres shame and stigma around it doesnt mean we cant still use that same energy to make sure you get what you need, Njoku said. Chi Chi added, Its sort of like, Were your friendwere your friend who you never met who will steer you in the right direction. She and Chi Chi often call clinics on behalf of patients who are a hundred or so dollars short of the total fee and ask the staff to see them anyway. More often than not, the clinics agree.

Njoku returned the call of one woman whose parents were against the idea of abortion, and urged her to ask to borrow money from them anyway. Folks dont need to know all your business, you know? she said. Its enough to be, like, Hey, Im needing some help right now. Yall think that you can lend me a little bit?

Later, Njoku and Imani listened to a message from a woman in Florida. A child could be heard crying in the background; the callers voice sounded small and panicked. When Njoku called her back, the woman told her that she was in her early twenties, with two children, and that she was on Medicaid, unemployed, and eight weeks pregnant. Her abortion, scheduled for the next day, would cost nearly six hundred dollars, and she had only a little more than two hundred. Njoku asked what she had been doing to raise more money. The woman was thinking of pawning her wedding ring. Oh, goodness, I dont want you to have to do that, Njoku said. Hold on to that. Well figure it out before it has to get to that point.

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Fighting for Abortion Access in the South - The New Yorker

Prince William, Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, and Kate Middleton have come together for a very special reason that s near and dear to all of their hearts. Theyve easily slammed all the rumors of a feud while lending their support and voices to a mental health PSA for a new initiative called Every Mind Matters.

Prince William, Prince Harry, Markle, and Middleton can be heard narrating a short film thats part of a new initiative with Britains National Health Service (NHS). Other celebrities involved are Gillian Anderson, Glenn Close, Davina McCall, and former cricket player Freddie Flintoff.

Every Mind Matters is a new online program, with Harpers Bazaar explaining that the website allows people to create a personalized action plan that recommends tailored self-care actions to help deal with stress, boost mood, improve sleep and feel in control.

The video begins with Prince William noting: Everyone knows that feeling when life gets on top of us. All over the country, millions of us face challenges to our mental health. At all ages, at all intensities and for all sorts of reasons. We feel stressed, low, anxious and have trouble sleeping. Me, you

Prince Harry continues, your brother, your mother, your friend, your colleague, your neighbor. Waiting. Wondering. Hoping. Hurting. We think theres nothing to be done. Nothing we can do about it.

Markle adds, But now, theres a new way to help turn things around. Every Mind Matters will show you simple ways to look after your mental health.

Middleton explains: Itll get you started with a free online plan designed to help you deal with stress, boost your mood, improve your sleep, and feel more in control.

They further note: We can all benefit from taking simple steps to look after our mental health and help those around us. Because good mental health makes such a difference.

The 60-second version was released today, but the full two-and-a-halfminute version will air Monday at 8:45 p.m. on all major British TV networks.

The royals each recorded their piece individually at theirhomes at Kensington Palace and Frogmore Cottage in September.

Both the Sussexes and Cambridges have been involved in initiatives involving mental health, with Health Secretary Matt Hancock sharing the couples bravery at a screening of the new film. Hancock shared: I want to put on the record my admiration for the way that the Princes and the Duchesses have contributed to changing how our society here in the UK and I think around the world think about mental health, and their own bravery in speaking out about it.

He continued: This is one of the most clear examples of them taking that lead and they do so much for so many people. Our health both mental and physical is an asset that needs to be nurtured. Every Mind Matters will benefit us all with an accessible tool to help manage our wellbeing at the click of a button.

PHE chief executive Duncan Selbie further noted: Every MindMatters aims to help people to better handle lifes ups and downs. This is notabout the very severe end of mental illness. This is about a preventionintervention, a digital innovation. Its about reaching people with the helpthat theyre looking for.

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