There are so many of them that it can be difficult to know which are the best to opt for. Here are just a few tips to ensure that you choose the right one.

Regardless of what career you want to follow, you will find much information online about what qualifications you need. You will find guidance about the best courses to choose, and how to get experience in the work you want to do. It is worth spending the time doing some research into this to ensure that you do not waste time completing the wrong courses.

private student loans smart option loan private financial aid college academic course

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You need to look at the content of the course to make sure it teaches the sort of things you need to know and that you can get help with planning the best way forward.

Every course explanation will tell you what is involved, and it really is important to get this right. If you are unsure about it, contact the university or college you are looking at.

They all have people that are there just to deal with problems such as this and to guide students in the direction of the correct courses.

Once you know what courses you need, it is time to find out what colleges or universities offer them. Most educational facilities give you the option of completing their courses in a classroom or online, and that is something else you need to consider.

Look at what past and existing students have to say about your preferred option, such as the Everglades University reviews. Other students opinions matter a great deal, as everywhere will tell you how good they are, but do their students agree?

Location does not matter if you have chosen an online course, but of course, it has to be a consideration if you decide to opt to be classroom-based.

This really depends on your situation and how self-disciplined you can be. If you are already working full-time or have family commitments, online courses can be ideal as they will fit in with any lifestyle. You do need to be self-disciplined though, to ensure that you carry out the work in a timely manner. They also have other advantages such as cheaper course fees, more starting dates, and being able to work at your own pace.

Is Online Education Right for You?

Five Myths Preventing You From Obtaining an Online Education

However, online courses do not suit everyone, and it could well be that you would rather go and sit in a classroom with other students. Only you can make that choice but consider it carefully before you decide.

The key to the success of finding the right course for you is to research all aspects of it. What course, do you need to do, where is suitable or should you co it online? Gather all the information on the options and only then can you make the right choice.

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How to Find the Right College Academic Course for You - SayCampusLife

As Pueblos education leaders, it is our responsibility to foster welcoming learning environments in which all students can thrive. This mission is at the heart of each of our organizations.

Equity in education requires putting systems in place to ensure that every student has an equal opportunity to succeed. Creating those systems requires us to understand the unique challenges and barriers faced by our students, as individuals and as populations.

The fact is that there is an imbalance in our education system. Although Colorado has one of the highest education attainment rates nationally, we also have the largest disparity between white and Latino residents when it comes to post-secondary education: According to the Colorado Department of Higher Education, 64 percent of white residents have completed some form of education beyond a high school diploma, compared to 29 percent of Latino residents and 40 percent of African American and black residents.

Any failure to address this inequity has consequences, such as leaving many underrepresented students stuck in low- and middle-wage jobs. Technology is rapidly changing the workforce. In fact, the management consulting firm McKinsey & Company estimates that automation could replace 44 percent of jobs in the United States by 2030. Jobs held by those with only a high school education will be hit the hardest.

We must equip students with the knowledge and skills needed to drive the economy in our ever-changing world. This requires helping underrepresented students overcome barriers that can hinder them from advancing to the next level of their education. Some examples:

Access Education at all levels must be approachable and easy to navigate. Our schools must invest time and resources to make sure that their work forces reflect the diversity of their students and have the communication skills needed to build relationships. Additional support such as success coaches also can be a valuable component of a students successful education.

Affordability We need to be resourceful and innovative in the development of new financial aid models, working with foundations, scholarship organizations and government agencies to help our students pay for college. We must find ways to place students in jobs that align with their academic and professional interests so they can earn college credit and get important on-the-job skills.

Policy and procedure We must adapt our policies and procedures to meet the realities of our communities. For example, allowing more flexibility with college tuition payments and late fees may be the difference between a low-income student dropping out and being able to complete a degree.

We must get past talking about equity and start addressing it directly, even if some discussions are uncomfortable and difficult. Only by discussing race frankly can we build a shared idea of our expectations a critical step toward closing achievement gaps for Pueblos K-12 and college students.

We can encourage a larger conversation that includes more voices most importantly, the voices of our students and continue this discussion together so that all of our young people have the tools to create lives of purpose and impact.

Patty Erjavec is the president of Pueblo Community College. Charlotte Macaluso is the superintendent of Pueblo School District 60. Timothy Mottet is the president of Colorado State University-Pueblo. Ed Smith is the superintendent of Pueblo County School District 70.

Continued here:
Creating more diversity within educational system - Ag Journal

Harvey Bischof, president of Ontario Secondary School Teacher's Federation.SunMedia

Ontarios public high school teachers are expected to be in a legal position to strike or stage work disruptions around Nov. 18.

The union representing the teachers as well as some support staff has asked for a no-board report from the conciliator in the fractious contract negotiations. Issuance of the report triggers a 17-day countdown to a legal strike position.

The Ontario Secondary School Teachers Federation (OSSTF) is one of the major education unions engaged in contract negotiations that have become a battleground over the Progressive Conservative governments plans to increase class sizes, cut per-pupil funding and keep wage increases to one per cent.

Mid November will be crunch time.

Unions representing public elementary and Catholic teachers are also conducting strike votes and expect to have results by then.

Strike votes are a common pressure tactic in negotiations and dont mean there will be job action. Being in a legal strike position doesnt guarantee there will be one, either, although its one step closer to the possibility.

About 55,000 education workers represented by CUPE began working to rule earlier this month as soon as they were legally able to do so. They also planned to strike a week later, which would have closed hundreds of schools across the province, including at the Ottawa Catholic School Board. A tentative deal was reached at the last minute.

Any work disruptions by OSSTF would affect both high schools and elementary schools. The union represents high school teachers at English public school boards and some support staff at various boards. At the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board, for instance, OSSTF represents school secretaries, janitors, early childhood educators and educational assistants, among others.

While negotiations are conducted separately for the high school teachers and the support staff, the OSSTF has requested a no-board report for both, said president Harvey Bischof.

Its time to demonstrate our seriousness, he said in an interview Sunday.

The union doesnt control when the conciliator releases the no-board report, but Bischof estimates that members will be in a legal strike position by Nov. 18. A strike vote by members will be complete by Nov. 15. In the meantime, bargaining dates are scheduled.

A key issue is the governments plan to increase high school class sizes from an average of 22 to 28 over the next four years. That would eliminate about 10,054 teaching jobs and is a key component of the governments goal of reducing education spending.

Class sizes have inched up to an average of 22.9 this year, with some schools cancelling courses.

Last week Education Minister Stephen Lecce suggested the government would consider only raising class sizes to 25. That idea was rejected by OSSTF, which said it came along with a proposal to eliminate all the class size caps now contained in local collective agreements.

As negotiations with all the teachers unions head into critical stages, all sides are looking for public support.

Education workers have rallied behind the slogan Cuts hurt kids, staging rallies last week and launching social-media and advertising campaigns.

Lecce created his own version of the same message, tweeting on Friday that strikes hurt kids and stressing the importance of getting a deal.

He has emphasized he wants to avoid the cycle of anxiety parents face during each round of contract negotiations with education unions, wondering if there will be a work disruption.

But his governments plans for education have met fierce resistance from unions, as well as some students and parents who say the quality of public education is under attack.

Also controversial is the governments plan to require high school students to take four of their 30 courses online.

The government has asked OSSTF to take wage increases of one per cent a year, the target it has set for all public-sector workers, according to the union.

OSSTF has proposed a wage increase equal to the cost of living, currently around two per cent.

jmiller@postmedia.com

Twitter: @JacquieAMiller

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Ontario high school teachers pull trigger to be in legal strike position by mid November - Ottawa Citizen

OMAHA, Neb. (WOWT) -- The Hilton Omaha Hotel turned blue Saturday in a 2020 tune-up for Nebraska Democrats.

The National Democratic Training Committee choreographed the event a daylong immersion in party politics with candidates, volunteers and local party leaders participating in classes geared toward next years elections.

Jo Giles, running for the District 7 Douglas County Board seat, said, It's great that this training can come here, where we get national expertise that's free and we can just come and learn. And get ready for 2020."

Approximately 100 people attended Saturdays training event.

The organization has been around since 2016 training Democrats on all levels of government how to run for public office. But it's not just for those wanting to run.

Assistant Director of Life Training, Jocelyn Hunt, said, We have a group of candidates and potential candidates. A group of staff volunteer leaders and then our local party leaders."

The three groups were divided based on how they identified and then they participated in four different courses, in fields, communication, digital and fundraising," Hunt said.

Those are important skills to Giles.

"Having a training like this, that can bring you together with other candidates that are feeling the same things that are new to this process, that are learning. It's game-changing for us. To actually have the tools to be able to run an effective campaign to get our message out and to hopefully earn some votes."

If you couldn't make it to the training but still want to learn what it's all about you can participate in online training at traindemocrats.org.

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Democrats bring election education camp to the metro - WOWT

Commuting can be annoying and tedious yet many of us do it twice a day. Research has found that commuting can lower mood, heighten stress levels, and have a spillover effect. In other words, our commutes can impact how we perform and feel at work, at home, and in other facets of our lives. Its no wonder employees are seeking out more flexible work schedules or, at the very least, ways to make their morning and evening journeys less irritating and more productive.

We asked members of the Thrive community to share their tips for optimizing their commute time. Their strategies may even make you want to take the long way home.

Take a trip down memory lane

I dont have long commutes every day, but on the days I do, I like to scroll through pictures of my kids and loved ones. I take my favorites and write a little note about why they are memorable moments for me. Once a month, I batch all the pics, print them, and mail people the pictures with my memory note. Many times, I dont even need to mail them. I just leave the picture and notes on the kitchen table for my kids and husband to see in the morning.

Anjali Bindra Patel, lawyer, McLean, VA

Set a positive attitude

My commute is approximately 40 minutes each way by car. The usual suspects traffic, rude drivers, people driving at parade-float speed dont rattle me because I begin my day by setting a positive mental attitude. What we put into our minds manifests into the world. I fill my commute with podcasts, too. Dr. Tony Evans Impact Theory podcast and The Vic Feazell Show are some of my go-to sources for mental stimulation. By spending my drive time productively, Im ready to face my challenging work day with calm energy.

John Harrell, author and inspirational speaker, Austin, TX

Journal about the day ahead

Each morning on the subway, I journal. I get out any anxious feelings I have about the day ahead, reflect on all the things I am grateful for, and put down a mantra to repeat when things get stressful. My commute is an hour, and its all me time.

Lindsey Benoit OConnell, editor, New York, NY

Dive into a good book

My previous job was demanding. Besides long working hours, my commute was a long, arduous one. I spent a total of two hours a day on the bus. At first, I would aimlessly skim through my Facebook newsfeed a mindless activity just to pass the time. After a while, I realized I had to spend my time doing something more productive. I started downloading novels to my mobile phone, and I am proud to say that throughout that year, I read 25 books. I would say 90 percent of them were read on the bus. Reading made me look forward to my commute, because I wanted to know what happened next.

Basma Fawzy, freelance writer, Alexandria, Egypt

Find your inspiration

My biggest advice is to focus your thoughts and attention on what gives you inspiration and pushes you to thrive. For more than two years, I would take a train on Monday mornings at 6:30 for over three hours. Reading inspirational books about entrepreneurship and listening to business podcasts helped lift my mood after such a long train ride.

Diogne Ntirandekura, information technology consulting, Montral, QC, Canada

Throw on your favorite podcast

Depending on my mood, music or a podcast can save my commute. I have learned so much from the podcasts I subscribe to they make me look forward to hopping in my car. The first podcast I listened to was The Thrive Global Podcast. I was having a hard time in my job, and Arianna and her guests made it better by offering tools to deal with extreme burnout. I eventually left my job and did not look back. One guest on the Thrive podcast, Maria Menounos, really made an impact on me, so I started to listen to her podcast, Better Together With Maria Menounos, and I now look forward to Mondays!

Cristina Daniels, program manager, Woodland, CA

Set a soundtrack

I have an hour-long commute to work, so Im in the car for at least two hours every day. My best strategies for making this time pass is putting on a great soundtrack and carpooling when I can. Find a radio station with promising music that you can jam out to, or create your own on a site like Spotify or Pandora. My husband and I carpool and take turns driving, so neither of us becomes burned out, and we actually get to spend some quality time together this way.

Emily Woodruff, assistant project manager, Deford, MI

Connect with yourself

For me, commuting is a time to connect with myself. Its a time and place where theres minimal distraction that allows me to think about areas of life that need my attention, or just de-stress. By the time I reach my destination, I have solved at least one or two of my mental dilemmas.

Aakriti Agarwal, coach and facilitator, Hyderabad, India

Prep on the way there, unwind on the way back

I am blessed to be able to work from home most days, though one day a week, usually on Mondays, I go to a client site that is 90 minutes away. I use the time to do calls and mentally plan my week. On the way home, I turn up the music and spend the time completely letting go of the day. It is pure bliss!

Cindy J., executive search and HR consultant, Boston, MA

Rediscover storytelling through audiobooks

I have fallen in love with audiobooks! Unless Im on vacation, Ill usually read non-fiction personal growth books. I used to love reading fiction books, but struggled to find the time over the last few years then I found Audible. Now, I fill my commute with the works of my favorite fiction mystery and thriller writers. I cant wait to get in the car and hit play!

Tammie Kip, author, Toronto, Canada

Follow us here and subscribe here for all the latest news on how you can keep Thriving.

Stay up to date or catch-up on all our podcasts with Arianna Huffington here.

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How to Make the Most of Your Morning and Evening Commutes - Thrive Global

"When everything happened, big trays of pizza were left out on the counter in the cafeteria," Dillon explained. "Over the next week while we processed the scene it began to rot and smell really bad, and it blended with the other unfortunate smells, like blood just down the hallway - the smell of evil. After that, anytime I'd smell pizza, it would take me back to that time."

During a 30-year career as a volunteer firefighter and emergency medical technician, paramedic and police officer, Dillon had seen "the worst of the worst - plane crashes, burned bodies, terrible car accidents," he said. "Sandy Hook was the straw that broke the camel's back."

Plagued by anger, disbelief, sadness and flashbacks, Dillon withdrew from everyone. He carried his gun all the time so that he would be prepared if there was another attack. His world started to unravel. He began drinking too much. He and his wife divorced. After being arrested for driving while intoxicated, Dillon realized he needed help. He was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a mental illness associated with anxiety, agitation, fear, nightmares and the feeling of another tragedy looming everywhere.

In the nation's firehouses, hospitals, call centers and police stations, many first responders are struggling with PTSD wrought by both the everyday deaths and tragedies encountered on the job and a national epidemic of mass shootings, from Connecticut's Sandy Hook and Florida's Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School to a Walmart in El Paso, Texas, a bar in Dayton, Ohio, and a garlic festival in Gilroy, California.

First responder Ken Dillon with his dog, Murph. Dillon says he credits his recovery from post-traumatic stress disorder to self-awareness, professional help from doctors, and support from his peers and his agency. Photo by Eva Deitch for The Washington Post

"We rush into burning fires or deal with the worst injuries - that's our job, it's what we're trained to do," Dillon said. "But we're also human, and sometimes our brains can't compute the horrible things we see."

According to a 2015 national survey of over 4,000 police officers, paramedics, emergency medical technicians and firefighters, emergency workers are 10 times more likely to attempt suicide on average than another person - roughly 6 percent of those surveyed had tried to take their lives. A more recent survey of Virginia first responders similarly showed a heavy psychological toll.

New survey shows heavy psychological toll for Virginia first responders

A growing number of states, including Colorado, Texas, Vermont, Louisiana, Minnesota and Connecticut, have recently passed legislation to provide workers' compensation for first responders suffering from PTSD.

While the bills offering benefits have been heralded as victories for responders, they have also been criticized for being too restrictive, denying benefits to some vulnerable medical service personnel. For example, a bill passed in Connecticut in May provides benefits to police, fire and parole officers, but it excludes coverage for EMTs, paramedics and dispatchers. Critics of the bill say it also failed to consider the cumulative effect of tragedies to which the first responders were exposed. As the bill stands, a mental health professional must conclude that PTSD is the direct result of a certain qualifying event. For example, viewing a deceased minor, experiencing the death of a person, or witnessing a traumatic injury that causes the loss of a body part or vital body function.

Psychologists define a traumatic event as a situation in which a person experiences or perceives a threat of death or injury for themselves or others, causing stress and feelings of fear, helplessness and hyper-vigilance.

"These are normal reactions to an abnormal circumstance," explained Laurence Miller, a psychiatrist in Boca Raton, Florida, who often treats first responders dealing with mental trauma. "These mass shootings, especially when children are involved, that's when you see [first responders] break down," Miller said. "We all identify with children being slain. You see these people go numb and withdraw, they develop a lack of motivation, they second-guess themselves. If they've used alcohol as a coping mechanism in the past, they might abuse it."

Jill Barron, a Yale University psychiatrist, has worked with first responders after both 9/11 and the Sandy Hook massacre. She said first responders work in a hero culture, where broken bones and scars are considered battle wounds, while mental injuries are a sign of weakness. "They're dealing with trauma after trauma after trauma while being told to suck it up, toughen up," she said. "The attitude is push it down and move on."

In a 2017 University of Phoenix survey of 2,000 first responders, nearly 40 percent said they would face negative repercussions at work for seeking mental health services.

Gerry Realin, a retired Florida police officer, said he has experienced such repercussions firsthand. Realin worked on the hazmat team that responded on June 12, 2016, to the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, where 49 people were fatally shot and 53 others were injured. After spending nearly five hours inside the club identifying, moving and body-bagging the bullet-riddled slain victims, Realin couldn't stop having nightmares and flashbacks. The sight of a white sheet, used at the scene to cover the corpses, still takes him back to the scene. "My wife doesn't buy white anymore," Realin said. "All our blankets are blue."

Realin retired on disability but is locked in a legal battle with the city of Orlando over health costs related to his treatment. (Orlando city public information officer Karyn Barber said the city "is committed to the health and well-being of our first responders" and that Realin "is receiving all benefits for which he is eligible.")

At the time of the Pulse shooting, Florida did not provide workers' compensation for such mental health injuries as PTSD without an accompanying physical injury, though it does now, spurred in part by the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in February 2018, in which 17 students and staff were killed.

Troy Anderson, a former Connecticut state police sergeant who responded to the Sandy Hook shooting and subsequently led the effort to create Connecticut's State Troopers Offering Peer Support (STOPS) program providing officers with confidential peer counseling services, said new laws in Florida, Connecticut and elsewhere that provide benefits to first responders suffering from PTSD will help a lot of people.

However, he said he thinks there needs to be a cultural shift to provide emergency workers support long before they're exposed to traumas that can cause PTSD. "At the [police] academy, you spend forever learning how to make your bed and do a hundred pushups, but there needs to be training for how to take care of your mental health, because tragedy is going to happen," he said. "If you are educated ahead of time, you're going to say, I know what this is - it's post traumatic stress - and I know what to do, and I know it's okay to get help."

Dillon credits his recovery from PTSD to self-awareness, professional help from doctors, and support from his peers and his agency. "You can't delete PTSD, you're never completely cured, but you can learn to combat the symptoms and the triggers in a healthy way," he said. "The old me would have a beer. Now I talk it out with somebody, or go for a hike."

It's important for first responders to remember that it's normal to have a mental response to tragedies, he said. "We're all human. We all have emotions. And we can smash the stigma so people aren't afraid to talk about it."

This article was written by Rene Ebersole, a reporter for The Washington Post.

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First responders struggle with PTSD caused by the emergencies, deaths, tragedies they face every day - Brainerd Dispatch

Laura Montgomery is speaking with a matter of factness that betrays the content of her words. She could be talking about the weather or her favourite food but instead she is speaking about the death of her partner of 16 years, Kat Lindner.

Psychologists might call it compartmentalisation of grief. Whatever, Montgomery freely admits she is merely finding a way of coping. Her days are spent blocking out the noise. Her role as head of sales and sponsorship at Hibernian occupies her for six days a week; her remaining time is spent immersed in running Glasgow City Football Club, the team she founded 21 years ago. But she is living a half-existence these days, like a spectator watching a macabre drama about her own life.

Montgomery is angry. Not at Lindner, who had suffered for much of her life from depression, but the circumstances behind her death, now the subject of an inquiry.

She took her own life, she says quietly.

The very difficult thing for me is that she was in hospital at the time. And that still happened. Thats hard for me because when youre in hospital, thats when you think somebody is safe. Shed attempted to take her own life the week before and it was really emotional for both of us and so for her to actually take her own life when I thought she was safe and being looked after was very difficult for me.

We were so in love we were so great together. And that makes me so angry, I dont get why I cant have had that forever. The last thing Kat and I said to each other was that we loved each other and we kissed each other. So I dont have any regrets in that respect.

February 9 this year has left an indelible mark on Montgomery. It was the moment time stopped and simultaneously carried on. Almost every day since that fateful night, Montgomery returns to the house in Glasgow she shared with Lindner. It is filled with her things, their things. There is barely a corner of their home that doesnt possess a frame with a photograph of the pair together.

Montgomery suspects people who visit think she has put these pictures up in the months since Lindners death but that couldnt be further from the truth. Everything in their house is exactly as it was the day she died. The 43-year-old has been unable to bring herself to move a single item. Every cupboard remains untouched, with Lindners clothes and belongings just as they were when she was admitted to hospital in February. There are reminders of Lindners life everywhere.

Theres probably not a day I dont lie on the floor and cry my eyes out, she says.

Its very difficult. Im not going to deny that Kat was my everything and I miss her terribly. Its by far the most devastating thing to ever happen to me because Kat was the love of my life. The past few years, it had been really difficult to see her get so ill but she was the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent person.

You could say that, given whats happened, Im fortunate that Ive got a very full-on job so I dont really have a minute, I dread to think if I did have a minute.

If Im honest, I just survive now. Im the opposite of Kat mentally Im really upbeat and really positive. But Ive found Ive been really low with this, as you can imagine. I dont really enjoy life now. Im not suicidal or anything but I used to look forward to every day Id be one of those people who would scream in the shower for no particular reason, just because I was excited and I dont do that anymore.

Im sure if there was an expert hearing me speak theyd say its not sustainable. And Im sure its not sustainable. But I dont know what else to do.

The pair met in the late-90s, when they faced each other during a set of friendly matches; a long-distance relationship then followed with Lindner turning down the offer of a scholarship at Penn University to move to Glasgow to be with Montgomery in 2005. There was no other club she was going to join than Montgomerys beloved City.

Montgomery recalls buying Lindner, a highly-respected academic, a pair of adidas Predator football boots when she arrived in Scotland. The German was puzzled by the gesture, assuming her new club would provide her equipment until Montgomery pointed out to Lindner that she would have to pay 40 a month in subs just to get a game for City. She would go on to become one of the clubs all-time greats, winning five league titles, two Scottish Cups and two League Cups and scoring 128 goals in 173 games in the process.

Kat was one of the best players ever to play for Glasgow City, if not one of the best players to play in Scotland. She means a lot to a lot of people who played with her. Its been really emotional for the club because of her legendary status, Montgomery said

Because of Kats illness over the past few years, Ive not been able to give the club the focus that I used to quite rightfully, because Kat was the most important person to me. Glasgow City was secondary to me and Id have got rid of it when Kat was ill, I thought of doing that many times actually and I looked to see how it could continue without me because I started to resent that it was taking time away from being with Kat.

But now, Im glad Ive got it because if I didnt, I wouldnt have anything to focus on. Im now back to where I used to be in trying to drive things forward. The support Ive got from the club has been brilliant and Scott (Booth) has been brilliant, hes been very understanding of the situation.

It wasnt just on the football pitch that Lindner excelled, however. A lecturer at Stirling University, she was published in a number of academic journals but she was equally comfortable as a confidante and counsel in her professional life in spite of her own struggles. It is a crumb of comfort that Montgomery clings to even if there is a sobering contradiction that the person who has gone has no concept of how highly valued they were.

Ive had people tell me that Kat was helping them through difficult times and they had no idea she was going through such a tough time herself. And Ive had so many beautiful letters from her students saying she was the most amazing, caring, insightful, informative teacher who made a difficult subject easy, she said.

What frustrates me is that when someone suffers from ill health, theyve got no idea how important and valued they are in the world. And how loved they are. Kat was respected and loved by so many people but she could not take that in at all. Thats really difficult when someone is so ill, you tell them but they cant feel it, they just dont believe it.

I dont want Kat to ever be forgotten. Scottish Womens Football are having an award in her honour now and there are other awards and things being named after her. When someone passes away, everyone is really kind and thoughtful but my fear is that people go on with their lives but I dont want people to forget about her.

There was never, it appears, one particular moment that triggered Lindners depression, instead it was, it seems, more like an ongoing battle that had to be fought daily.

Montgomery does, though, sometimes wonder if Lindners illness had been caught right at the beginning of their relationship, could it all have been different?

She suffered really badly in the last few years of her life particularly. With hindsight, she did have challenges her whole life. Did either of us really notice or know what they were? Probably no. I remember when she was in the States, Id send her things about having a positive mental attitude and I knew that she was approaching things in a different way to the way I would but we were young, you dont know what that means or what it is, she reveals.

In the last few years of her life, she realised she was a high-functioning individual theres a number of things that combined to make Kat as ill as she was but it all stemmed from being such an extremely high achiever.

If you only ever get 100 percent, you dont really enjoy it anymore. And if you dont get 100 percent one time, it feels like a failure. The level of Kats ability was incredible she got basically 100 percent the entire way through university and so the pressure on you with that is huge.

What makes me want to kick myself was looking back 15 years, all those tiny little things, if Id been a bit more mature and intelligent, and had any clue what those tiny things might have been, we maybe could have sought help all those years ago.

At the time, Kat would have said there was nothing wrong but with hindsight, there was. Thats my only regret, thinking we could maybe have changed things. But when I think about our years together, I know that Kat was the love of my life and that love we had has shaped the person I have become. If I cant have a life with her, I couldnt have asked for anything better than that.

Originally posted here:
Laura Montgomery: Kat was my everything and I miss her terribly - HeraldScotland

British sailor Alex Thomson says tales of Leicesters shock Premier League title success have aided his ongoing mental preparation for the worlds toughest yacht race.

Skipper Thomson is set to embark on a maiden competitive voyage aboard the 5.5million boat he hopes can end his wait for glory in the solo, around-the-world Vendee Globe.

The 45-year-old, who on Sunday begins the double-handed Transat Jacques Vabre (TJV) warm-up event from France to Brazil, regularly works with psychologist Ken Way to focus and train his mind.

Way was part of Claudio Ranieris backroom staff when the Foxes defied 5000/1 odds to be crowned champions in 2016, and Thomson has taken plenty of inspiration from stories of one of sports most unexpected triumphs.

Weve talked about that quite a lot, learnt lots of interesting stuff out of it, Thomson told the PA news agency.

It reinforces the ability that Ken has when people buy into the thinking and the possibility of making gains through your mental attitude and mental techniques to improve your sport.

I think in this particular case with what we do, there are so many tools, so many possibilities to make improvements, so its a really fascinating subject.

For me, the Vendee is as much a mental game as a physical, maybe even more so. Training your mind and I cant understand why you wouldnt do it its an absolute no-brainer.

But each to their own. I very much enjoy working with Ken and find what we work out not only helps me with the race but helps me be a better human being, so its all good.

The 4,350-mile TJV, sponsored by a French coffee company, follows a former trading route, beginning in the Normandy port of Le Havre before crossing the equator to finish in the Brazilian city of Salvador.

It will provide the first test of Thomsons latest custom-built Hugo Boss boat, named after his teams principal sponsor and christened on the river Thames last month.

Gosport-based Thomson, who will compete alongside former Olympic sailor Neal McDonald, capsized off the north coast of Spain and was airlifted to safety the last time he entered the TJV.

With the long-term aim of becoming the first non-French winner of the gruelling non-stop Vendee Globe the next edition of which starts in November 2020 his primary objectives during the forthcoming fortnight are a safe passage to South America and developing a greater understanding of his new vessel.

Its about the bigger picture. Thats the main thing. If we can avoid a big problem and get to the finish, thats the first objective, said Thomson, who finished second in the 2016-17 Vendee and third in 2012-13.

The second objective is to make sure we get enough information to inform the next choices that we want to make, the next developments.

These are prototype boats, there are always little niggles and stuff to improve and stuff that doesnt quite work from the very beginning.

If you think about Formula One, the cars are launched and by the end of the season they are completely different because they are being developed and changed all the time to try and make then go faster and thats exactly the same for us.

We expect in a years time we will be 10 or 15 per cent faster than we are now.

See the rest here:
Thomson inspired by Leicester title triumph as he seeks Vendee Globe glory - Lancashire Telegraph

In some ways, as Ben Gordon splashed a three-pointer inside the Bulls practice facility recently, it felt like 2004 again.

At his playing weight of 198 pounds and with his chiseled torso, one could argueGordon lookedthe part. The jumper was pure, too.

But the gray in Gordons goatee is one hint that his playing days are behind him if the sight of his 8-year-old son merrily shooting at another basket hadn't already given it away.

And then Gordon speaks, calmly and matter-of-factly, his words jarring anyone strolling down memory lane back to reality.

I remember being literally, like, suicidal at one point, Gordon said. Unless youve been through that, its a really strange place to be.

Gordon visited many strange places as his 11-year NBA career came to an unceremonious end in 2015. He was waived by the Magic and Warriors. He was arrested three separate times in 2017. TMZ released a video of Gordon using threatening language to acquaintances he believed were stealing his business ideas. He was hospitalized for a psychiatric evaluation following an incident (in which he was not charged) at a business he owned in New York.

In short, he was a long way from the calm, quiet force who made a career of rising to the occassionduring the most chaotic moments. Still the only rookie in NBA history to win Sixth Man of the Year back in 2005,Gordon had descended into darkness.

Im not there anymore, Gordon said. Going to multiple professional therapists, Ive resolved that. Ive left that place.

I learned to understand who I was as a failure. This was the first time in my life where I ever failed. I won a state championship in high school and college. I always had good fortune. I was skilled.

Before therapy, I was difficult to be around. Some of my relationships were tarnished. Bridges were not burned, but damaged. I was in an unfamiliar place with myself. I finally said, Dont fight it. Learn about yourself in this space. And I learned a lot. I realized I was bulls****ing a lot about a lot of things. I learned to do the opposite of what I was doing.

And where do you get the willpower to do that? I started to return to what made me me. Going to the gym every day. Getting shots up every day. Lifting weights every day. Doing things Ive been doing my whole life. I was like, Let me just start there.

So Gordon did. At a very unfamiliar 230 pounds, Gordon returned to the structured and disciplined lifestyle that defined his five years with the Bulls a tenurethat still resonates fondly with many fans.

The more I did that, the more clarity I got, he said. My relationships started to get better. When you get depressed, its almost like you catch amnesia and you forget who you are and you become this new unfamiliar person to everybody.

And I wasnt depressed because I was an unhappy person. I was depressed because I had these great gifts. I put in all these hours of work. And now I cant use it anywhere. That made me feel like, Damn, whats my purpose? Im a very goal-oriented person. I didnt have any goals. With no structure, I lost my control.

As he shed pounds, Gordons identity started to return. Now 36 and with his legal issues quieted, he has started setting new workout challenges for himself. How much of his former athleticism could he regain? Could he windmill dunk again?

Throughout this process, Gordon visited his therapist weekly. He watched from afar as current NBA stars like Kevin Love and DeMar DeRozan publicly revealed their struggles with anxiety and depression. This week, Proviso West product and Timberwolves forward Robert Covington talked to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune about the value of therapy.

But even if mental health doesn't become as much a part of the discourse surrounding NBA as three-point shooting, Gordon is comfortable addressing the subject. In fact, he wants to find a documentary filmmaker to help him get his message of healing and recovery out to more people.

I dont understand why people feel embarrassed to talk about going through bad stuff. To me, I feel very empowered. I walk around with a sense of renewed personal strength, Gordon said. When my issues were in the media, some people would say, Ah, look, Ben Gordon is going crazy. Hes broke. Ha, ha. Why is it so amusing when somebody is going through depression when its really a serious issue?

I talk about my depression to people, and not to defend what I went through. Im doing [it] to share what Ive learned about the human mind and body when its stressed. Im speaking from a place of experience. Im very educated on the topic.

Thats why I want to do a documentary where Im talking about all my demons. I feel that would be therapeutic to certain people. I want to show people the fruits of the labor of figuring out a very difficult thing youve gone through. I didnt cut corners in the healing aspect of what you have to go through to get back to being your normal self or a better version of yourself.

Staying in this place is obviously Gordons goal. Before his ascent from such depths, Gordon didnt necessarily view seeking professional help favorably.

I was like many in the black community who were like, Therapy? No, Im not talking to anybody about my problems. Im going to internalize it, be strong and do it myself. And I learned that type of attitude is only really good when youre doing something competitively and trying to push yourself. Youre trying to create an edge so you create this thick skin, Gordon said. But when you need help, you need a professional. If youre in therapy and in denial, youre never going to get anything out of it because youre not going to open up.

I went through all these phases like, I dont want to go to therapy. OK, Im in therapy. Oh, its not that bad. Oh, you know what? I like therapy now. What helped me is I started listening to what I was saying and I could really sort out my thoughts. Once I was able to do that, I was like, Yo, BG, you have to be more accountable.

Gordon worked to restore personal relationships. He vowed to repair any damage done to his beloved hometown of Mount Vernon, NY,where he opened a holistic wellness center and sports rehabilitation facility that is now shuttered. Gordon has long given back to his community with free clinics, autograph sessions and barbecues. A playground is named after him there.

Gordon played 25 games with the Texas Legends of the G League in 2016-17. In a conversation with NBC Sports Chicago that lasted over an hour, he alternated between acceptance that his career is over and acknowledgement that the game has shifted to even more fully match his strengths of shotmaking and offensive flow.

Its a weird space to be in, Gordon admitted. I could be doing this but theres not really a platform for me to do it. People ask about playing in the Big3. I dont want to play 3-on-3 basketball. I didnt work hard to do that. Its like settling or being desperate. I can play in the Big3 when Im 50.

But Im enjoying helping other players when I can. Thats more fulfilling than being desperate. I dont miss the game in that way. I work out every day. I get my fix every day. If I make 10 threesin a row, that does something for my self-esteem. I feel good. I got better at something I love to do. That part is fulfilling.

Even the fact Gordon visited the Advocate Center as a welcomed guest is a sign of progress. For many years, Gordon harbored some resentment towards the Bulls organizationover how his contract negotiations led to a messy exit to the Pistons in 2009. With his son living in the area, he splits his time between Chicago, New York and California.

To keep busy outside of parenthood, Gordon works out and trains those who ask him to, and ishappy to share his knowledge. He talks about possibly getting into coaching in a player development role or reviving his rehabilitation center in Mount Vernon.

For now, his life has returned to calmness.

Ive become more comfortable not being wanted by an NBA team. Im at peace with my career, Gordon said. The reason why I wasnt around the last two years is I couldnt be in this environment. That would trigger me. But now Im at a point where I resolved so many things and changed my perspective on so many things that nothing bothers me anymore. I know what my triggers are now.

Im how I always was, peaceful and focused. My son sees it the most. My Mom sees it the most. Im able to pour into players I work with because Ive done what I needed to do. I couldnt help players before because I wasnt myself. Just being through all that stuff and proving to yourself you can overcome it, its empowering. I feel great.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7 support for people in distress. If you or anyone you know is ever in need, their number is 1-800-273-8255.

HeadStrong: Mental Health in Sports will premiere right here on NBC Sports Chicago on November 9th, immediately following Blackhawks PostGame Live. Its all part of a month-long campaign this network is undertaking for the month of November in partnership with the Movember foundation to bring attention to mens health issues.

Though men are certainly not alone in struggling with mental health, men are three-to-five times more likely to commit suicide than women. Watch for HeadStrong and a compelling series of more than thirty digital shorts in November.

Go to http://www.nbcsports.com/headstrong for a special extended version of this trailer and more information on times and airdates.

Original post:
After years of struggle, Ben Gordon has found his calm - NBCSports.com

Warning: This article contains content relating to attempted suicide.

I cant quite remember if it happened on a Monday or a Tuesday, but I do know that the night I tried to commit suicide felt like it went on forever. The house was empty, I was sixteen-years-old. After raiding the alcohol cabinet and filling up on spirits, I scoured the medicine cabinet for painkillers, then stuck a note to the TV for my mum. It read something along the lines of Ive gone to bed early, please dont wake me up when you get home. I started to swallow down the pills, because Id hit rock bottom after a break-up.

The relationship with Jamie*, my first ever boyfriend, had ended because hed slept with multiple other people and I found out after a friend overheard him bragging. For three years, wed been a highly volatile and terrible match. But at the same time, Jamie was charismatic, funny and knew how to please a crowd and at that point of my life, he was all Id ever known in terms of romantic relationships. Because of his good qualities, he was popular, and we had a lot of mutual friends. Friends who suddenly alienated me following the split, so the loss was a double whammy, and I felt totally alone.

Photographer: Maria Jose Roda GarciaGetty Images

After taking handfuls of pills and washing them down with alcohol, I called Jamie and scream-cried nonsense down the phone. He told me, hilariously (in retrospect), that he was about to take a shower and would call me back. Unsurprisingly, he didnt. What follows is hazy. I was sick constantly, throughout the course of the entire night. At one point, I even called myself an ambulance but cancelled it because I was scared that the sirens would wake my mum and the neighbours. In the morning, I finally told her what Id done, and we sped off to A&E.

This reaction to a break-up is sadly not uncommon either, says Professor Craig Jackson, a psychologist from the School of Social Sciences at Birmingham City University. Break-ups can have massive impact upon mortality levels and general morbidity, its a genuine public health problem that society faces. The cost of broken hearts in society are real and hugely impact on the health and social care systems.

"I heard a group of girls whispering about me being Jamies 'psycho ex-girlfriend'"

A few weeks later, at a house party, I heard a group of girls whispering about me being Jamies psycho ex-girlfriend it was a comment that would swirl around my head for years to come, and while the suicide attempt was thankfully a one-off, it wasnt the last break-up I struggled to cope with. I clawed at myself with embarrassment for the way Id reacted and felt as though I had a big red arrow pointing at me as I walked down the sixth form corridors. Things took a long time to get better.

The term "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" (CEG) can be problematic, says Professor Jackson. It can be used as a label by some men towards women theyve been in abusive or controlling relationships with it removes any blame from their own actions, and thereby shifts it onto her, suggesting that shes inherently unstable and defective. Say it louder for the people at the back, Professor! It insinuates that the problems in such a relationship may have been her fault. If the woman isnt coping well with a breakup, it again implies shes defective and possibly even dangerous. When my mental health and happiness did start to improve, along came Liam*.

Someone fell in love with photography

Liam and I were happily together for a year and a half, until we both headed off to different universities. Like a lot of young couples, we split after a few months of living in cities that were over 100 miles apart. But it wasnt a clean break. Within weeks he had a new girlfriend, but we continued to speak over email. I spent my life on edge, waiting for a message from him to appear in my inbox. I became nocturnal, I sat, drank wine and smoked in my room for hours on end, rehashing every single detail of the split and the relationship. What could I have done differently? How had he so easily replaced me? What was wrong with me?

This continued for almost two years. Two long years. Sometimes Id drunkenly message him, paragraphs (again, very in-keeping with the crazy ex stereotype). Sometimes hed reply saying he still thought about me, that he missed me and was too afraid to break up with his new partner as he feared his friends would think badly of him. Those little breadcrumbs he threw saw everything else in my life slide by the wayside. I tried dating other people and definitely hooked up with plenty, but still struggled to meet anybody I deemed to be on Liams level. Friends offered me incredible support but Christ, was I a broken record.

The quality of social support, ability to let off steam when needed, keeping physically active, not relying on alcohol, drugs or food to get by, and having other meaningful relationships, will all have an impact in recovering from a relationship, says Professor Jackson, confirming what I already knew (that wine can only help to an extent and definitely shouldnt be drunk continuously and alone). As does having hope and other things on the horizon to focus on. Individual differences in things like personality, coping skills, mental attitude and personal resilience that can determine how people will fare.

"Id witness friends going through break-ups, they'd eventually move on. I couldn't."

Thinking of Liam was as regular as my own ever-increasing heartbeat, the baggage I carried was astronomical. Yet, Id witness friends going through break-ups with their long-term partners too, and although theyd be sad and theyd want to dissect it over coffee, sooner rather than later crucially they moved on. I simply couldnt. But, says Professor Jackson, thats actually a more common experience than I could have ever realised. Other key factors, he explains, is who instigated the break-up in the first place, as research shows the dumpee (moi, hi, hello) tends to take longer to process the former relationship, as well as the circumstances (infidelity, heartbreak, ties such as children being involved).

Its simplistic to think theres a standard period of time in which to get over a break up like when we lose anything in life from a loved one to a job, or a pet there isnt a set grieving period. Grief, sadness or loss are subjective emotions and involve complex processes that we often have little insight into at the time, and depend on individual personal factors, plus the nature of the relationship with the ex, he explains, easing some of my long-held fears that Im actually a gigantic freak who needs to get a grip.

Ive also experienced serious mourning after less serious relationships too though, like after Max*, who I met a few years back after moving to London. We met approximately ten times over the course of year, with huge swathes of time passing between. He occupied my thoughts constantly I once remember looking at the clock in a spin class and congratulating myself because ten minutes had passed without thinking about him. After we first slept together, he ghosted me. It was the straw that broke the camels back (I was already grappling with major health anxiety at the time) and I spiralled into a pit of depression I called in sick repeatedly until the doctor offered to sign me off.

I became a paranoid wreck, all because of a random guy from Bumble had tipped me over the edge. Whereas most other people would probably have walked away, dusted themselves off after being ghosted, I couldnt my brain slipped back into those ruminating thoughts, fine-tooth combing every text, interaction, outfit Id worn to meet him. When he reappeared months later, I couldn't help but get pulled back in (top tip: if this happens to you, try BLOCKING THEM ON EVERY PLATFORM INSTEAD).

Its actually a fallacy to use the phrase "get over a relationship" - it assumes that people always do get over break ups, comments Professor Jackson. Truthfully, this doesnt always happen. There are some relationships we cant ever fully move on from, and that actually may be quite normal. Wait, hold up never get over? Bleak. I also wondered whether my seeming inability to get over a splintered union was because Im prone to anxiety and depression, but Professor Jackson says there are no clear links there. It seems to boil down to simply falling very, very hard and the nature of the relationship itself (all of which Ive mentioned were pretty intense).

Since and in between these interactions, Ive had various other relationships ranging from one nighters to more serious and emerged from them entirely unbothered and unscathed. But that stereotypical crazy ex label still bothers me. Looking back, at Jamie, Liam and Max, and trawling through old chats and inboxes to examine messages that went between us, its quite plain to see that there was also a lot of gaslighting involved. Which is why the crazy ex stereotype is such a difficult one to navigate I dont want to belittle anybody who is really suffering from harassment from a former partner, but the label isnt always warranted or kind and its definitely bandied about far too often, usually at a woman's expense.

"Now, I dont think I was crazy; I think Id been gas lit and taken advantage of"

Now, I dont think I was crazy; I think Id been gas lit, taken advantage of and am naturally prone to unhealthy thought patterns, which is a lethal combination. Closure is so key. Equally, as Ive now discovered, is putting yourself in the centre of your world. What I mean by that is if you put a relationship, or person, in the centre of your universe, when it falls apart or they fuck up, so will everything else. Work, maintaining friendships, self-care. Itll all go to pot. But if you put yourself as the number one priority and things go wrong youre less likely to lose your head, because youll still always be there, right in the centre. Imagine it like a wheel with spokes coming out of it (the spokes representing all the important areas of your life).

And as for those earlier exes: Jamie contacted me years later out of the blue to apologise for the way he treated me when we were together (and to thank me for stopping him from going off the rails), I don't blame him for our relationship being so messed up or his response to my suicide attempt phone call. We were both young and naive, but are better people now. Liam is getting married soon and I feel absolutely nothing about it. Max, Ive now chalked up as a major learning curve Id never accept that kind of behaviour again. Its terrifying to think that my overdose might have put a halt to my life at such a young age too, when its now better than its ever been, in so many ways. But Im glad for all the lessons Ive learnt from it.

Im now approaching the two-year anniversary of my healthiest relationship yet, its full of respect, honesty and communication. If it ended, of course Id be heartbroken, but I *hope* I wouldnt let myself go back to those scarily dark days of endlessly ruminating on it and self-destruction and thats not because I love him less than previous partners, but because Im starting to love myself a lot more too.

Follow Jennifer on Instagram and Twitter.

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Read the rest here:
Why we need to stop using the term crazy ex-girlfriend - cosmopolitan.com