NAIT counsellor offers advice for finding balance in life

Self-care has become a buzzword.

The idea of taking time to nurture our mental or physical health isnt new, but its become an unavoidable obsession fuelled by pop culture and a steady stream of curated Instagram posts highlighting a day at the spa or that tasty new smoothie. Its no wonder self-improvement has grown to become an $11-billion industry.

But just because youve decided to take a yoga class or start journaling doesnt mean youre actually practising self-care. Many of us, it seems, are just going through the motions checking off a box on the daily to-do list. But often the stress or anxiety were trying to cope with continues to linger.

Were our own worst critic.

NAIT counsellor Caren Anderson says thats because theres often an important piece missing: self-compassion. We all could stand to have a little more compassion in how we treat ourselves, Anderson says. Thats partly because weve become so quick to embrace the self-care trend, the intent behind the action gets blurred.

Taking time to do something you think is important for your well-being is one thing. Anderson offers helpful tips to refocus your self-care efforts where theyre needed: squarely on the self.

When counselling her clients, Anderson encourages both self-care and self-compassion treating oneself with kindness and understanding but realizes it isnt always easy. To get started, she asks students who visit the NAIT Counselling Centre what kind of empathetic advice theyd give to a friend.

Often, that is much more compassionate than the advice we give ourselves, she says. Were our own worst critic.

In order to get to a place where self-care is emotionally meaningful, you need to start small, Anderson says. To bring more compassion into your life, take a few minutes every morning and evening to think about what youre grateful for. Tell yourself youve earned a lunch break or you deserve to go to bed early.

Theres such a focus on productivity in todays fast-paced world, she says, that you need to give yourself permission to not finish everything. Set boundaries and be kind to yourself if you choose to set aside time for self-care instead of something you should be doing.

If you're having a bubble bath, but you're thinking about all of the things that you didn't do that day, thats really defeating the purpose of self-care, Anderson says. Do you really feel like youre carving out that time for you, or does it feel more like a chore?

A great way to develop self-compassion is through helping others create their own balance, she says. Look out for one another. For example, if you spot someone consistently working through their lunch hour, ask them to grab a bite with you for a quick break.

Its always nice to have a support network to challenge those behaviours, she says. While she doesnt want others to become reliant on peers to determine breaks, creating a culture where balance is encouraged is important.

Remember that a compassionate self-care practice will evolve. It may even look different from week to week.

Its not a perfect formula, not set in stone, Anderson says. As I get older, I need it even more.

Give yourself grace like you would others, she says, and your self-care, however you practice it, will become more meaningful.

See more here:
Self-care isn't enough. Treat yourself with compassion, too - techlifetoday

There are very few shows in the history of television that end with an old man dancing by himself on a cliff. There are even fewer that could have ever made such an idea work. Yet thats exactly how The Affair concluded its five season run this past Sunday (November 3), with a Fiona Apple cover of The Waterboys The Whole of the Moon. And it was as beautifully glorious as it was bizarre. Spoilers ahead for The Affairs finale.

All throughout The Affair Season 5 the Showtime drama has been jumping between present day and another timeline set several decades in the future. Initially that time jump was justified as Joanie (Anna Paquin) tried to piece together what really happened to her late mother. But as Season 5s finale reveals, that initial murder mystery premise was never what this show was angling for at all. The ending of The Affair was ultimately about the same thing as its beginning: coming to terms with mistakes, whether they be mistakes made in your parents lifetime or yours. Naturally The Affair decided to illustrate this final lesson with one of the most mistake-prone and unrelenting characters ever created, Noah Solloway (Dominic West).

The Affairs final episode was written and directed by series co-creator Sarah Treem. For years now weve seen Noah commit sin after sin, from cheating on his wife and ruining a happy marriage to becoming the center of a #MeToo scandal. Noah has always been a mess, and at least until this final season, he was a mess who was rarely held accountable for him many, many mistakes. That changed once his daughter Whitney (Julia Goldani Telles), disgusted by all of the pain her father has inflicted on so many people, uninvited him from her wedding.

This is far from the first time Noah has been called out for being an asshole. But before the finality of missing his daughters wedding, Noahs comeuppance always seemed to come with a side of pleasure. He ruined his marriage only to have a relatively healthy relationship with Alison (Ruth Wilson). He was falsely imprisoned only for that jail time to lead him to his next great novel and countless job offers. Were deeply aware of how Noah typically responds in situations where he is called out, through bouts of anger, blame, and an uncomfortable habit of lashing out. But faced with his own daughters scorn, Noah doesnt do that. For once he accepts that he is the one in the wrong. He has hurt Whitney, his children, and his ex-wife Helen (Maura Tierney), and he has to pay for that pain.

So when Helen asks Noah to leave the wedding venue after hes finished choreographing a flash mob for Whitneys reception, for once he doesnt fight. He doesnt lash out at Helen or argue with Whitney, pointing to the fact that he almost single-handedly planned her wedding. He meekly leaves the venue and stays away. For the first time Noah demonstrates something akin to humility.

Thats what makes his final dance in Montauk so remarkable. Yes, on the surface it is Dominic West in questionable prosthetic makeup dancing alone in silence. But in the context of this show this dance is the remembrance of a single time Noah put the needs of his family before his own. In that moment hes just an old man with fond, happy memories about his family.

If Apples Container was an internal scream about self-improvement and unseen pain, then The Whole of the Moon is its opposite. Its a celebration of life, understanding, and finally being able to see the big picture. Its right there in the songs lyrics: I saw the crescent / You saw the whole of the moon. This final moment with Noah is one of joy and self-acceptance.

The Affair started with a group of broken people who thought their only hope at self-betterment was to break each other further. Throughout five seasons and countless hookups they did a damn good job of doing just that to the misery of everyone involved. But The Affair ended with at least one of its tumultuous characters realizing that real love and happiness comes from vulnerability. As silly as Noahs dance was, thats a thing of beauty.

Watch The Affair on Showtime

Excerpt from:
Fiona Apple's Cover of "The Whole of the Moon" Was the Perfect Ending to 'The Affair' - Decider

Byram

Looking to curl up with a good book by the fireplace as the weather gets colder? Then the annual Byram Shubert Library book sale couldnt be happening at a better time.

The sale, put together by the Friends of Byram Shubert Library, will take place from Nov. 7 through Nov. 10 at St. Paul Lutheran Church at 55 William St. W. near the library. According to organizers, more than 30,000 items will be offered for sale at bargain prices.

In addition to books, there will also be DVDs, CDs and other media up for sale. Proceeds benefit the Friends group and its work to provide programming at the library, including the upcoming tree lighting in Byram. That event also serves as an open house for the library, with a potluck supper, carol singing, photos with Santa and more. The Friends also sponsor classic film screenings, monthly chess lessons, tai chi and yoga classes, and family craft workshops.

The sale offers a wonderful opportunity to begin holiday shopping or to choose reading mater for the long winter nights ahead, the Friends said in a statement.

It kicks off with a preview event from 5 to 8 p.m. Nov. 7, when, for a $20 fee, patrons get the first chance to purchase items.

Entry is then free as the sale continues from 5 to 8 Nov. 8; 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Nov. 9; and noon to 4 p.m. Nov. 10. On the last day, fill a bag with books for only $8, or two bags for $15.

Organizers say there will be more childrens books than ever, with an entire room dedicated to them. Additionally, there will also be fiction bestsellers, as well as nonfiction items in categories ranging from art and cooking to self-improvement, sports and travel.

Prices are so low that just about anyone can buy a really nice gift for a friend, Friends member Judy Crystal said.

The book sales take place twice a year, in November and May. For more information, call the Byram Shubert Library at 203-351-0426.

Greenwich

November is grapefruit season in Greenwich as members of the Lions Club begin their annual sale of citrus fruit.

For the next month, be on the lookout for Lions Club volunteers decked out in their distinctive yellow vests. They are selling grapefruits for $24 a case at locations all over town, including downtown, Old Greenwich, Greenwich Point, Perrot Memorial Library, the Cos Cob Fire House and the resource recovery center at Holly Hill.

This past week, Lions Club members unloaded 850 cases of Texas ruby red grapefruit and oranges. The sales are scheduled to take place through Dec. 1.

This fundraiser is a Greenwich Lions tradition that dates back more than 50 years. Proceeds support the Lions Low Vision Center at 500 W. Putnam Ave., which is set to reopen Nov. 7, as well as the clubs eye screenings at local schools that can help diagnose vision problems that might go unaddressed. Staff at the Low Vision Center assess the needs of patients and provide visual aids that can help the visually impaired in their daily lives.

Additionally, the proceeds help support camp scholarships to Greenwich kids, the Connecticut Lions Eye Research Foundation and grants that go out to local human services providers.

According to the Greenwich Lions, Texas ruby reds are the best grapefruits around. The cost to ship a case can be as high as $45, but the Lions offer the fruit at a far reduced price in Greenwich because they make their purchase at a bulk discount.

Glenville

Its not too soon to start planning for Christmas and one thing to remember is to pick up tickets for the annual performance of A Christmas Carol at the Bendheim Western Greenwich Civic Center.

The production presented by the town Department of Parks and Recreation will take place from 4 to 5 p.m. Dec. 9. It is best suited for kids in kindergarten through sixth grade.

Tickets are limited and they go quickly. The cost is $7 per person. They are available online now at http://www.greenwichct.org/webtrac or at the civic center starting Nov. 19.

The play will be presented by the Hampstead Stage Company, which has been coming to town for years to perform. The play is an adaptation of Charles Dickens classic story about miserly Ebenezer Scrooge and how his life is changed on Christmas Eve thanks to three ghosts who show him the true meaning of the season.

The Hampstead Stage Company is one of the largest national educational touring companies in the world, performing more than 2,000 shows a year for more than 20 million audience members.

For more information, visit http://www.greenwichct.gov or call the civic center at 203-532-1259.

Greenwich

When Greenwich residents head to the polls Tuesday, they will make their voices heard in the municipal elections. And they will also get an early opportunity to buy Girl Scout cookies, which are not usually available until March.

Girl Scout cookies will be sold at the following polling places: from 6 to 10 a.m. and 4 to 8 p.m. at Central Middle School; from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and 4 to 6 p.m. at North Mianus School; from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Old Greenwich School; from 5 to 8 p.m. at Glenville School; and from noon to 3 p.m. and 5 to 8 p.m. at North Street School.

The Girl Scouts will also be setting up outside the Stop & Shop on West Putnam Avenue from 1 to 3 p.m.

We love getting our Girl Scouts out and about on Election Day to learn about our nations political process and practice the five skills of the Girl Scout Cookie Program: goal setting, decision making, people skills, money management, and business ethics, said Frances Wu Nobay, co-service unit manager of the Greenwich Girl Scouts.

The Girl Scouts will also accept donations for Cookies for Heroes, which sends cookies to active duty service members and veterans stateside and overseas.

Cookie sales support community service projects and educational programs for the Girl Scouts.

kborsuk@greenwichtime.com

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What's going on in your part of Greenwich - CT Insider

Published 3:00pm EST, Monday, November 4, 2019

Check out local talks and lectures in the area.

Check out local talks and lectures in the area.

Photo: Metro Creative Connection/ Contributed Photo

Check out local talks and lectures in the area.

Check out local talks and lectures in the area.

Cooking, book talks and more lectures this week in Fairfield County

Art & Architecture

Lecture: Demeter and Persephone: The Message and Meaning of a Myth From Ancient Greece to Modern America, Nov. 7, 14 and 21, 10:30 a.m.-noon, Wilton Library, 137 Old Ridgefield Rd., Wilton. Registration required. Info: wiltonlibrary.org, 203-762-6336.

Bruce Experiences: The Art of Scientific Observation, Nov. 13, 6:30-8 p.m., The Bruce Museum, 1 Museum Dr., Greenwich. Hara Woltz is an artist and scientist who addresses the destruction and conservation of ecological systems through a variety of visual media. Free; members only event. Info: brucemuseum.org, 203-869-0376.

ARTalk: Brant Foundation Education Director Sabrina Marsalisi, Nov. 17, 2 p.m., Ridgefield Library, 472 Main St., Ridgefield. Free. Info/Registration: ridgefieldlibrary.org, 203-438-2282.

Senior Art Workshop: Chinese Brushwork Painting, Nov. 18, 1:30-3:30 p.m., The Bruce Museum, 1 Museum Dr., Greenwich. Cost: $25-$30. Info: brucemuseum.org, 203-869-0376.

Art Adventures: Watercolor Landscapes, Nov. 23 & 24, 1-3 p.m., The Bruce Museum, 1 Museum Dr., Greenwich. Art Adventures: Watercolor Landscapes. Exhibition-related activities for children ages 4 and up with caregiver. Free. Info: brucemuseum.org, 203-869-0376.

The Healing Power of Mandalas with Inez Andrucyk, Jan. 10, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Silvermine School of Art, 1037 Silvermine Rd., New Canaan. Ages 17 and up. Cost: $165. Info/Registration: 203-966-6668.

HeART & Minds closing reception and Artist Talk, Jan. 12, 3-5 p.m., Silvermine Galleries, 1037 Silvermine Rd., New Canaan. Free. Info: silvermineart.org/exhibition/heart-mind/.

Crafts

Brookfield Craft Center, 286 Whisconier Rd.; brookfieldcraft.org: classes, open studios in clay, fiber, glass, jewelry, metal. Gallery Shop open Sat., 11-6, and Sun., 11-5. To learn more, visit brookfieldcraft.org or call 203-775-4526. Gallery hours: Tues.-Fri., 12-5; Sat., 11-5, Sun., 12-4.

The Nutmeg Woodturners League, local chapter of the American Association of Woodturners, promotes woodturning as craft and art form. Meeting at Brookfield Craft Center on second Monday of every other month (January, March, May, September, November). All welcome.

Film

TV Forensics: Fact and Fiction, Nov. 13, 6:30 p.m., Fairfield Public Library, 1080 Old Post Rd., Fairfield. Free. Info: fairfieldpubliclibrary.org, 203-256-3160.

Norwalk Public Library offers Kanopy, a cinema streaming service, which has 30,000 award-winning films, including The Criterion Collection, The Great Courses, PBS and thousands of feature and festival films. Kanopy can stream on your phone (Apple or Android), tablet, computer or Roku device. You can stream up to 6 films per month. For step-by-step instructions, visit Kanopy page on NPLs website, norwalklib.kanopy.com/welcome/frontpage, or stop by library, 1 Belden Ave., Norwalk. Info: Cynde Bloom Lahey, director of library information services, 203-899-2780, x15133, or clahey@norwalkpubliclibrary.org.

Gardening

Gardening Lecture: Honeybees and Pollination, Nov. 13, 6-7:30 p.m., Norwalk Public Library, 1 Belden Ave., Norwalk. Discussion of C. Marina Marcheses book, Honeybee: Lessons from an Accidental Beekeeper. Free. Info/Registration: 203-899-2780, ext. 15110, snacker@norwalkpl.org.

Greater Bridgeport Mens Garden Club monthly meetings, Sterling House, 2283 Main St., Stratford. Members normally meet third Wednesday of each month to discuss various gardening issues, share in plant swaps, DVDs or speaker presentations. Beginner gardeners and anyone with interest in gardening, plants and landscaping welcome. Info: Joe, 203-339-2701 or Art, 203-261-9771.

Seed Library at Norwalk Public Library, 1 Belden Ave., Norwalk. Now, everyone from avid gardeners to newbies can check out free vegetable, flower and herb seeds along with getting support for growing and saving seeds. Brochures available on how self-service procedure works. Info: Laurie Iffland, reference librarian, 203-899-2780, x15114 or iffland@norwalkpubliclibrary.org

Health

St. Vincent's Breast Health Center in Bridgeport offers free and low-cost digital mammography screenings through its mobile mammography coach for women age 40 and older. No prescription needed but appointments are required. Walk-ins welcome. For those who have insurance, bring card and photo ID at time of visit. Appointments: 203-576-5500.

History & Antiques

Lecture on Mark Twain by Dr. Alan Gribben, Nov. 10, 3-4:30 p.m., Mark Twain Library, 439 Redding Rd., West Redding. Info: marktwainlibrary.org.

History Presentation: Queen Victorias Forgotten Granddaughter: Elisabeth, Grand Duchess of Russia, Nov. 15, noon, Norwalk Public Library, 1 Belden Ave., Norwalk. Free. Info/Registration: 203-899-2780, ext. 15133, clahey@norwalkpl.org.

Lecture: Tales from the Crypt with Dr. Nicholas Bellantoni, emeritus CT state archaeologist, Nov. 16, 4-5:30 p.m., Kellogg Environmental Center, 500 Hawthorne Ave., Derby. Free. Info: 203-734-2513.

Keeler Tavern Museum, 18th century historical building at 132 Main St., Ridgefield, 203-438-5485, keelertavernmuseum.org. Museum has begun docent training sessions.

Weir Farm National Historic Site, 735 Nod Hill Rd., Wilton, 203-834-1896 or http://www.nps.gov/wefa: grounds open daily dawn to dusk.

New Haven Museum, 114 Whitney Ave.; newhavenmuseum.org or 203-562-4183.

Literature

Friday Evening Literary Salon, Nov. 8, 6-7 p.m., Wilton Library, 137 Old Ridgefield Rd., Wilton. Watch video clips of Yale Literature Professor Harold Bloom as he talks about why we should read the "Great Books. Registration/Info: wiltonlibrary.org, 203-762-6336.

Author Talk: Steve Gillon America's Reluctant Prince: The Life of John F. Kennedy, Jr., Nov. 12, 7-8:30 p.m., Wilton Library, 137 Old Ridgefield Rd., Wilton. Free. Registration/Info: 203-762-6334, wiltonlibrary.org.

Author Talk with Athlete Michael Korda: Passing: A Memoir of

Love and Death, Nov. 12, 7 p.m., Ridgefield Library, 472 Main St., Ridgefield. Free.Info: ridgefieldlibrary.org.

AuthorSpeak: Helene Stapinskis Murder in Matera: A True Story of Passion, Family, and Forgiveness in Southern Italy, Nov. 13, noon, Norwalk Public Library, 1 Belden Ave., Norwalk. Register/Info: 203-899-2780, ext. 15133, clahey@norwalkpl.org.

Battle of the Books, Nov. 14, 7 p.m., Ridgefield Library, 472 Main St., Ridgefield. Matt Byrnes, Rich Cohen, Dave Griffith, Amy Macartney Freidenrich, and Suzanne Nelson, will each have 5 minutes to champion a book they love. Free; registration required. Info: ridgefieldlibrary.org/.

Author Talk: Downsize with Sheri Koones, Nov. 17, 2 p.m., Fairfield Public Library, 1080 Old Post Rd., Fairfield. Sheri Koones talks about her latest book, Downsize. Free. Info: fairfieldpubliclibrary.org, 203-256-3160.

Foxfire Living Creators: Eliza Clark and Tim Trojian, Nov. 18, 7 p.m., Fairfield University Bookstore, 1499 Post Rd., Fairfield. Free. RSVP: FairfieldUBookstoreEvents@gmail.com. Info: 203-255-7756.

Author Talk with Peter Steiner: The Good Cop, Nov. 19, 7 p.m., Ridgefield Library, 472 Main St., Ridgefield. Free. Info/Registration: ridgefieldlibrary.org, 203-438-2282.

Senior Center Book Discussion, Nov. 26, 11-noon, Comstock Community Center, 180 School Rd., Wilton. Ray Rauth will lead a discussion of Katherine Anne Porters Pulitzer Prize-winning short novel Noon Wine. Registration/Info: 203-834-6240.

Book discussion groups at Cos Cob Library, 5 Sinawoy Rd., Cos Cob. Info: 203-622-6883.

Miscellany

MEOW-ZA!: The Scoop on Everything Cat, from the Experts, Nov. 9, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Norwalk Library, 1 Belden Ave., Norwalk. Panel discussion. Info/Registration: 203-899-2780, ext. 15133, clahey@norwalkpl.org.

Panel Discussion: How to Be an Ally for LGBTQ Youth, Nov. 12, 6:40 p.m., Fairfield Public Library, 1080 Old Post Rd., Fairfield. Free. Info/Registration: fairfieldpubliclibrary.org, 203-256-3160.

Tellabration! An Evening of Storytelling for All, Nov. 19, 6-7:30 p.m., Wilton Library, 137 Old Ridgefield Rd., Wilton. Registration/Info: wiltonlibrary.org, 203-762-6336.

YWCA Darien/Norwalk, 49 Old Kings Highway North, Darien; ywcadariennorwalkk.org or 203-655-2535: Job Search Support Program for Women, incl. computer classes, info., katefywcadariennorwalk.org.

Meditation Sessions, Sat. and Sun., 10-11:30 a.m., open sessions; Mon. and Wed. eves., 7-8:30 p.m., Tues., 12:30-2 p.m., Thurs., 9:30-11 a.m., open sessions; Family Program, ages 4-12 yrs., usually 2nd and 4th Sun. of the month, 10-11:30 a.m.; Redding Center for Mindfulness & Meditation, 9 Picketts Ridge Rd., West Redding; info., 203-244-3130 or visit reddingmeditationsociety.org.

The Compassionate Friends, Stamford Chapter, non-denominational selfhelp group for bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings; meets 2nd Mon. of each month at 7:30 p.m.; Tully Center, 32 Strawberry Hill Ct., Stamford, main floor; info., 203-329-2796 or 203-323-2617.

Music

Drawing & Painting: A Focus on Mind, Body & Synchronicity with Inez Andrucyk, Nov. 17, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., Silvermine School of Art, 1037 Silvermine Rd., New Canaan. Ages 17 and up. Cost: $140. Info/Registration: 203-966-6668.

HeART & Mind Conversations with Artists program, Nov. 17, 3-4 p.m., Silvermine Arts Center, 1037 Silvermine Rd., New Canaan. Free. Info: silvermineart.org/exhibition/heart-mind/.

Visual Thinking in the Galleries, Dec. 8, 2-4 p.m., Silvermine Arts Center, 1037 Silvermine Rd., New Canaan. Jessica Sack will encourage participants to explore feelings, perceptions, and imagination in response to works in HeART & Mind exhibit. Free. Advance registration required.

The Ridgefield Songwriters Circle, monthly gatherings to play new songs and discuss them; for info, call Dave Goldenberg, 203-438-4521.

Nature & Science

Explore the History and Ecology of Milfords Coast - Silver Sands State Park Discovery Walk, Nov. 14, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., CT Audubon Society Coastal Center at Milford Point, 1 Milford Point Rd., Milford. Guided walk. Cost: $20-$25. Info: ctaudubon.org/milford-coast-2019, 203-259-6305, ext. 109.

Animals Who Hibernate, Nov. 16, 2-3 p.m., Wilton Library, 137 Old Ridgefield Rd., Wilton. Meet animal ambassadors such as a rabbit, an African Bullfrog, and an Axolotl. Registration required. Info: wiltonlibrary.org, 203-762-6336.

Explore the History and Ecology of Milfords Coast - Charles Island Discovery Walk, Nov. 21, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., CT Audubon Society Coastal Center at Milford Point, 1 Milford Point Rd., Milford. Guided walk. Cost: $20-$25. Info: ctaudubon.org/milford-coast-2019, 203-259-6305, ext. 109.

Back Yard Beekeepers Association, last Tuesday of the month, 7:30 p.m., Norfield Church Community Room, 64 Norfield Rd., Weston. Free. Info: backyardbeekeepers.com.

Planetarium Show/Telescope Viewing at the Westside Observatory and Planetarium at Western CT State U. Westside Campus, 43 Lake Ave. Ext., Danbury; wcsu.edu/starwatch/ or 203-837-8672.

Woodcock Nature Center, 56 Deer Run Rd., Wilton; center open 9:30-5, Tues.-Sat., two-plus miles of trails open daily, dawn to dusk; reg. in advance for programs, 203-762-7280.

New Canaan Nature Center, 144 Oenoke Ridge, New Canaan, 203-966-9577; satellite site for NY Botanical Garden programs (800-322-6924 or nybg.org/adulted); buildings open Mon.-Sat., 9-4 (closed major holidays); Programs for Kids & Families: First Saturdays, 1st Sat. of the month, free guided activities for visitors, 10 a.m.-1 p.m.; Free Live Animal Presentations, Sat. at 3, lasting 15-20 min., different animal each week.

Audubon Greenwich, 528 Riversville Rd., Greenwich; 203-869-5272: program fees: $3/adults, $1.50/children, srs. (incl. adm. to Center & Grounds); trails open dawn to dusk weekends; Kimberlin Nature Center open daily, 10-5; trails and grounds open daily sunrise to sunset, occasionally unavailable till 9 a.m.; 203-869-5272 or email greenwichcenter@audubon.org.

Connecticuts Beardsley Zoo, 1875 Noble Ave., Bridgeport; adm. $14/adults, $11/children 3-11 and seniors, free for children under 3; open daily 9 to 4; Carousel and Peacock Cafe, winter hours: Gift Shop, daily 9:30-4; New World Tropics Building, daily 10:30-3:30; 203-394-6565, http://www.beardsleyzoo.org.

Wolf Conservation Center, 7 Buck Run, South Salem, N.Y.; 914-763-2373, nywolf.org. Live webcam at website shows either Ambassador, Mexican gray or Red wolves.

Self Improvement

SCORE, Service Corps of Retired Executives, offering free seminars and workshops to entrepreneurs. SCORE offers Free Business Counseling bit.ly/SCOREMentor Questions/Comments: score.fairfieldcounty@gmail.com or call 203-831-0065 or visit https://fairfieldcounty.score.org.

Theater

Sunday Symposium for World Premiere Translation/Adaptation of Molires Don Juan, Nov. 10, following 3 p.m. performance, Westport Country Playhouse, 25 Powers Ct., Westport. Don Juan will be staged through Nov. 23. Tickets: $30-$40. Info: westportplayhouse.org.

Darien Arts Center, 2 Renshaw Rd., behind Town Hall in Darien. Info: darienarts.org or call 203-655-8683. Educational programs, including many new offerings, in theatre this fall for children, teens and adults, such as Creative Dramatics, Beginning Acting, Improv for various age groups, etc. Reg. at website or call for details.

Writing

CT Poetry Society Workshop, Nov. 16, 2-4:30 p.m., Wilton Library, 137 Old Ridgefield Rd., Wilton. Share poetry you have written by reading it aloud to the group. Free; registration required. Info: wiltonlibrary.org, 203-762-6334.

Writers Group workshop, Saturdays, 1-3 p.m., Stratford Library, 2203 Main St., boardroom. New writer's workshop group open to both new and experienced writers in all genres. Workshop will support the creative process through writing prompts, offer opportunities for participants to share their work and gain feedback and provide some introduction (or for experienced writers, refreshers) on essentials in crafting poetry, fiction and creative non-fiction/memoir. Jennifer A. Hudson, who has MFA in writing with honors from Albertus Magnus College, to work with group. Free and open to public.

Send listings to tinamarie.craven@hearstmediact.com at least two weeks in advance of desired publication date.

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Cooking, book talks and more lectures this week in Fairfield County - The Ridgefield Press

T.J. Watt stood at his locker, speaking softly about making splash plays when he casually mentioned the switch.

Off the field, the Pittsburgh Steelers third-year outside linebacker tries to be the personification of professionalism.

You can always lead by example, Watt said. Thats what Im trying to show my team: I will do whatever the heck it takes to produce to be able to help this team win. That goes a long way without having to say much.

Then he flips the switch.

Game day, its a whole different animal, Watt said. You have the juices flowing, so Im not afraid to say anything on game day.

Dont buy the humble act, Steelers inside linebacker Vince Williams says, shaking his head in disagreement. Williams sees Watt in a different light, as an aggressive competitor with a killer instinct.

Hes not some soft-spoken, quiet, humble dude. He wants to play that game, but T.J.s a dog, Williams said. We know what hes capable of. And hes a professional. He comes to work every day, tries to be the best every single day. He knows what it is. But if he wants to keep it cool like that and play the whole Clark Kent and Superman thing like that, I guess Ill play along with him.

Whatever the role Watt prefers, the 6-foot-4, 252-pounder is playing superhero for the Steelers through their first seven games. He leads the team with 17 quarterback hits, six sacks and three forced fumbles. He also has 23 tackles, three fumble recoveries, three pass breakups and an interception. Yet Watt is his own harshest critic, talking not about the plays he has made this season but rather the ones he has missed.

Theres always more plays to be made, Watt said. Thats how Ill always look at my film and our film as a team. I think theres definitely some good splash plays. Every time Im around the ball, I try and knock it out. Im trying to create any type of elite-level play that I can. Im trying to take plays from good to great to elite.

Thats an attitude that has impressed Watts teammates, who have watched with admiration and anticipation as the 2017 first-round draft pick has evolved from All-Rookie team to Pro Bowl pick to performing like an All-Pro. After leading the Steelers with 21 quarterback hits, 13 sacks and six forced fumbles last season, Watt set a goal of making more splash plays this season. And he is delivering on that promise.

Hes going to be the guy thats going to take it to a different level every single year that he plays this game of football, Williams said. Some dudes, you can honestly say the sky is the limit, and theres no limitations on a guy like that. Hes a pro. Its how serious he takes the game from a very young age. Some guys come into the NFL and dont know this game is a business. Its constant self-critique, constant film watching, constant self-improvement, self-motivation.

Thats why Watt reminds Williams of another Steelers linebacker, comparing his maturity as a rookie to that of Ryan Shazier. Both players came into the league with a veterans mentality, as much in terms of their preparation as their immediate impact.

I said he was the most NFL-ready rookie Id ever met in my life, Williams said of Watt, so none of this really surprises me at all because of the approach he takes to the game and how much he cares about it. So hes ahead of the game. When you have guys like that, you know theyre going to have a tremendous amount of success because their starting point is further ahead.

What Watt doesnt want to hear is his brother J.Js season-ending injury serves as motivation. The five-time All-Pro defensive end for the Houston Texans a three-time NFL defensive player of the year suffered a torn pectoral last week against the Oakland Raiders.

Obviously, its devastating for him, three out of four years, T.J. said. Just to see him work and have a really phenomenal season like he was having it makes me appreciate being healthy and being able to play but its not going to make me play harder.

Thats when Watt loses his smile, showing how quickly he can flip the switch.

If we were having this conversation on game day, Watt said, it would be a whole lot more intense, Ill tell you that.

Find the man a phone booth.

Hey, Steelers Nation, get the latest news about the Pittsburgh Steelers here.

Kevin Gorman is a Tribune-Review staff writer. You can contact Kevin by email at [emailprotected] or via Twitter .

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Photo illustration: The Globe and Mail. Source images: iStock

Isabel B. Slone is a writer living in Toronto.

I was born in 1989, part of a generation for whom gold stars and cheerful posters proclaiming If you aim for the moon, youll land amongst the stars were plastered on the wall of seemingly every elementary-school classroom. I was relentlessly conditioned to believe I could achieve everything I wanted to achieve, and for a long time, I believed that to be true. So far, the defining feature of my adult life has been a recalibration of expectations. Every year, the success and accolades I once imagined for myself grow further out of reach. I will not be everything I wanted to be. Thats why I started giving myself participation ribbons for achieving the bare minimum.

Its generally accepted that people are supposed to find purpose, or at least a modicum of stability and satisfaction, in the institution of marriage, parenting and home ownership. But having little interest in the first two and priced out of the latter, I look to simple tasks such as making the bed, watering plants and cooking a meal to find purpose in my life. Like so many other millennials, I live in an overpriced city with diminishing job prospects in my chosen field. But rather than fantasize about torching my current situation in favour of moving to a cabin, a less expensive city or, worse, grad school, I have committed to finding pleasure in the life I currently inhabit.

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As someone who has spent most of my life working toward the next lofty goal, my life got a whole lot better once I stopped searching for ways to improve it. Mundanity is my succour. Consistently completing tasks such as keeping track of my expenses or remembering to take my library books back on time all loosely tied together under the umbrella of adulting are a form of revelling in my own mediocrity. Although adulting is a puerile word I can barely bring myself to utter in seriousness, I embrace the definition of the term as a duty to myself. My ability to complete the tasks that most people have been trained to view as tedious, or a waste of time, is my way of making peace with living a life that is by all accounts totally unspectacular.

In essence, adulting has become my hobby. On an average day, I will wake up early, make coffee, then immediately get to work on my laptop. But my day is constantly interrupted by unavoidable duties such as cooking, washing the dishes, sweeping, watering plants, scrubbing the bathtub, doing laundry, taking out the garbage, keeping track of expenses, getting toothpaste from the drugstore. I do not rush through these activities with an attitude of resentment, or believe Im too important, or even too busy, to be completing these tasks in the first place. Instead, I do them, consciously mindfully, even. Ticking every item off a to-list gives me an inordinate sense of accomplishment.

Ironically, what makes these tasks enjoyable is the fact that, technically, I dont have to do them anymore. We live in a world of utmost convenience where almost every single prosaic activity can be outsourced. We no longer have to learn how to take care of ourselves, because as long as we have enough money, there is always someone who can do it for us. There is no incentive to cook, thanks to Foodora; for driving, theres Uber; for leaky faucets or putting together furniture theres TaskRabbit and for any random activity someone is willing to perform for $5, theres Fiverr. This aversion to grunt work advances the mindset that domestic tasks have little value, and therefore ought to be outsourced in order to devote time toward more esoteric pursuits.

More often than not, these esoteric pursuits turn out to be more work. Free time can always turn into productivity, so when productivity is properly managed, there is no such thing as free time, Malcolm Harris writes in the 2018 treatise on millennial culture, Kids These Days. Mr. Harris argues that present social conditions lead kids as early as preschool to view themselves as human capital who must work toward fulfilling their full potential or else risk certain failure. Human capital views time as an investment: If an individual is going to be spending time on an activity, it had better pay off.

Technically, nothing about these compulsory duties ever pays off; like a millstone around the neck, theyre a permanent weight that never quite lifts because they invariably need to be performed over and over again. A dirty floor will just get dirty again, so why bother sweeping at all? Answer: because the routine completion of these tedious tasks helps life to flow more smoothly. If I go through the trouble of picking up milk while doing errands, the next morning I will be able to enjoy coffee made to my own specifications instead of frustrated and crabby at the inconvenience caused by failing to perform a last-minute errand.

Earlier this year, writer Anne Helen Petersen published an essay on Buzzfeed about her inability to complete these small tasks. Ms. Petersen self-diagnosed her inability to go to the post office as millennial burnout, a generationwide exhaustion that comes with every moment of ones life being optimized for work. After the essay was published, it received widespread praise, then inevitable backlash: It failed to take into account the generational trauma faced by people of colour, and also, the problem of exhaustion isnt unique to millennials. Two months later, Maureen OConnor wrote a similar story for The Cut about the outsourcing economy, admitting that she eschews trips to the grocery store in favour of ordering perishables through Amazon Fresh. (One time, a single onion was delivered in a furniture-sized box.)

But while these essays expertly zero in on the locus of a problem that the former goalposts by which we used to measure adulthood have all but disappeared they fail to provide a way out of the modern morass of convenience that has all but consumed our very will to live. Shifting the small acts that make up adulting from drudgery to the sublime is the only way out of this bone-tired corner late capitalism has painted us into. If grunt work can be elevated into something that is inherently satisfying, it will remove some of the control capitalism has over our lives. Sure, I could summon a hot meal or a handyman to my door with the nimble swipe of a finger, provided theres enough money in my bank account, but why would I want to? The ability to cook and clean for myself is not just an insistence on humility, its a way of taking back power in a world that not just expects but profits off of my own helplessness. Its never been easier to figure out how to do things oneself Rule 34, which dictates that if something exists, its been made into porn, applies just as much to YouTube instructional videos as it does smut but tinkering as a hobby has largely been left behind in the converted garage workshops of the houses most millennials will never own.

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I come by this desire to DIY honestly. My family hails from a rural area where self-sufficiency is paramount. The majority of the food they consume comes from a vegetable patch in the backyard, or from livestock raised and slaughtered by the neighbours; the surplus is frozen and feasted upon for the remainder of the year. Groceries are supplemental, as opposed to a necessity. My parents buy next to nothing because they want for so little, and when they do, it can always be found second-hand. Nothing about their life could be described as convenient they only recently got WiFi and have a habit of unplugging the router when its not in use, terrified some internet demon will filch their precious bandwidth and thats the way they like it. Theyre essentially living the modern hipsters fantasy of farm life, only thats the way theyve always lived.

My boyfriend is convinced my yen for self-sufficiency is somehow a marker of lurking conservatism. But just as the Luddites were painted as the enemies of technological progress for destroying knitting machines in the 1800s, my intentions are easily misconstrued. The term Luddite has become shorthand for technological ineptitude; say, a mom who refuses to let go of her landline in favour of a smartphone. But in actuality, Luddites attacked only the factories whose owners upheld exploitative working conditions. They were labour activists, not inept fogeys. By eschewing the technological advances designed to make my life more convenient, I am leading a quiet one-person rebellion against the working conditions that require these services exist in the first place.

The trick is to view everything in life as a success, even the most basic tasks. Once I was able to accord the same level of accomplishment to a trip to the grocery store as I did a long-held career goal, suddenly, my life was flooded with success. For example, if I manage to put on a great outfit and do my hair and makeup in a day, I view that as a success rather than an integral part of daily life. Its gamifying life, only the stakes are much, much lower. Pouring my self-image into tasks that I actually can accomplish instead of relying on outside validation has done wonders for my self-esteem.

Simply put, to take radical pleasure in ones own mediocrity is the best way to defang the threat of constant failure. Academically, this concept is called kakonomics, or as philosopher Gloria Origgi writes, the weird preference for low-quality payoffs. Ultimately, its about renegotiating expectations to avoid disappointment at all costs. If an individual puts little effort into a venture which results in minimal gain, the outcome should be more or less expected. Its an agreed-upon discount on quality that makes life more relaxing for everyone. Instead of chasing excellence, why not get a few loads of laundry done instead?

In the long-term, Ms. Origgi writes, a prolonged series of these low-quality exchanges will erode the system. Kakonomics regulates exchanges for the worst, meaning that if individuals are continually satisfied with mediocrity, theyll never have the joy of experiencing excellence. But with the current concern over climate change that has turned almost everyone into a doomsayer, humanity might not have that much time left anyways.

So far, self-care and self-improvement have served as a balm for people hoping to self-soothe in a broken culture, but no matter how many face masks and rose quartz crystals an individual buys, they cannot magick themselves out of reality. Drinking kombucha and lighting scented candles will not cure anxiety or depression; the only surefire way to improve ones life is to come to terms with ones own inherent mediocrity.

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Putting this philosophy into practice shouldnt feel like giving up or a failure, it should feel like freedom from both societys expectations and ones own unrealistic ideas of productivity. Adulting, when done right, is a way of creating meaning for oneself in a world where it so often is hard to come by. People are trained to feel as if executive duties are a distraction from life when, in reality, theyre the main event.

Every time you suspects your efforts are not enough, I urge you to accomplish one task that will make life a little bit easier, be it wading through the mountain of dirty dishes in the sink, or returning an overdue library book. You will be happier for it, I promise. And frankly, if you can shift your worldview so that laundering your bedsheets becomes the height of accomplishment, life might not be so dire after all.

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The small pleasures of adulting - The Globe and Mail

Roxane Gay has 10 of them, but how healthy is it to obsess over a rival or enemy? Stylist investigates.

They are our secret adversaries. They make our blood boil on Instagram. Their ever-growing LinkedIn connections really drives us mad. Pit us against them on a sports pitch and we turn gladiatorial. They are our nemeses, and they are also completely normal to have.

Guest editor Roxane Gay is the undisputed queen of conjuring up adversaries. She can have 10 nemeses at any one time, simply because she likes having them. A nemesis is someone for whom you harbour an abiding, relentless dislike, she writes in her essay on the pleasures of having an imagined rival.

They might not know we exist, but that hardly matters. Roxanes primary foe, for example, smiles too much, is thriving professionally and exists to spite me. It is almost too much to bear.

Our rivals exist solely to grind our gears, but we also cant get enough of them. It might not have quite the thrill of Eve versus Villanelle, but more than half of us have a work enemy, according to Totaljobs. And social media has gifted us access to our adversaries out-of-hours. There are close to 300,000 Instagram posts dedicated to the #nemesis.

She smiles too much, is thriving professionally and exists to spite me. It is almost too much to bear.

From YouTube beef to Twitter feuds, nemeses are trending in real life. So why do we have them? Our nemesis often shows what actually matters to us. They reflect back our own values and ideals, says psychologist and life coach Honey Langcaster-James. Its often someone who is doing what we would secretly like to. Or perhaps they appear to be living their life in a way that we aspire to. Your nemesis is a mirror, reflecting back what you want to be doing with your life.

We tend to pick nemeses that are quite similar to us. They are us but with a better CV, #friendshipgoals and great hair (how do they do that?). Social media puts all of this pettiness in the palm of our hands.

Yet nemesis-collecting can be a noble pursuit. We pick workplace nemeses according to how willing they are to throw others under the bus, Totaljobs found, suggesting were keen to protect colleagues who have been wronged. There are other good reasons for having an adversary. Long-distance runners cut five seconds off their race times when competing against an arch-rival, according to a 2014 study from New York University. Nemeses are motivational.

Think of a nemesis as grit in your oyster, Langcaster-James suggests. They might really wind you up, but they also might represent something that is against your own values. They can make us think, What do I want to be doing more of? How should I be investing my time? You can use your nemesis as a springboard to differentiate yourself from. You can even turn a nemesis into an inspiration.

Here,four women offload about their arch-nemeses.

Jen Corrigan - Writer and Tech Worker

I met Diane in a poetry workshop in college. She was the best poet in class, so I was already impressed by her, but what really got under my skin was that she had faith in her abilities. I had never met a writer my age who was comfortable with her own voice, something that I was struggling with. When I met her, I was instantly jealous that I didnt have her skills or her confidence.

A nemesis has to be someone I respect, even just a little bit, otherwise I wouldnt care what they think of me or if theyre better than me in some way. I tend to care too much about what people think of me, even the people I dont like. My nemeses are always a projection of my own insecurities.

At the time, in college, I dont think my envy of Diane motivated me in any meaningful way. It was a distraction, because I was young and hadnt yet learned how to use my insecurities as fuel for self-improvement. It was only years later that I was able to revisit those feelings in a way that was more productive.

I have many nemeses of varying degrees now: ex-partners, former friends, smug acquaintances, people who are just better than me at something. They keep me focused on my goals. Some of my nemeses I want to emulate, some of them I want to impress, some of them I want to prove wrong. Im petty, and revenge can be a great motivator.

Marie Le Conte - Political Journalist

Im a big fan of enemies. I still have a nemesis from a previous workplace. The feud started out for quite dull work reasons, we both enjoyed having someone in the office to annoy. It just spiralled. Now, I will celebrate his demise when it comes. If he loses his job, I will be buying champagne in the pub.

These feuds motivate me. I think, Ill prove them wrong. I work best out of spite, when someone doesnt think I can do this. Im also proving to myself that I can do it. Having nemeses makes life more fun. I dont follow people I dislike on social media, but once a week I will go on my nemeses profiles, screengrab their posts and send them to friends.

I work in Westminster, where people hold grudges over the tiniest things. Youre quite free and expected to act like a wronged teenager even if youre a 47-year-old man. One of my nemeses said that she would never attend the same events I would go to, and so I made a point of ticking attending on every mutual Facebook event invitation, just so she didnt go. It was a proper dick move.

Im a Marmite person. People will dislike me no matter what I do. I suspect this happens a lot, especially to women who are outspoken, people of colour and LGBTQ+ people. Youre disliked for who you are. You can agonise over the fact that they hate you, or you can say fuck that, Ill hate them as well. Ill hate them first. And Ill hate them better.

Sally Thorne - Author

A friend requested I write a fiction piece as her birthday gift. When asked for a prompt word, she offered nemesis. That resulted in The Hating Game, an office romcom about two publishing assistants who play juvenile games of one-upmanship until it becomes clear the fighting is a cover for their attraction. The hate-to-love trope was fun to write.

A nemesis stirs powerful emotions: jealousy, sabotage and a strange kind of obsession. Its compelling in fiction, particularly the romance genre, because if its written right, all of these negative feelings can unexpectedly boil over into passion. Then we ask ourselves, how can they ever move past hate?

I do have flashes of envy when I see another writer hit the New York Times bestseller list. But I remind myself Ive had achievements that others would envy. I wrote about nemeses and it changed my life in the best way.

Vivienne Jeffers - Football Coach and Founder Of East London Ladies Fc

My nemeses are womens football teams who use grassroots football as a vanity project; hip teams born from the hype and opportunities in women and girls football. They take money and attention from clubs like ours, teams that provide proper grassroots opportunities for women and girls to build confidence and self-esteem.

Our team, East London Ladies, started from nothing and continues to grow without big endorsements from sports brands, who focus their attention on the teams with the trendy-looking girls without a hair out of place. These teams dont know they are my nemeses. Ive tried to get to know their story rather than judging a book by its cover, however, Im not sold on what they are selling. Some may call it jealousy, but when youve been grafting, providing opportunities for over 120 girls and women a week, and it goes unnoticed to the point where you cant even get equipment, its disheartening.

At the same time, it becomes your driving force. Its healthy competition. Every Instagram post of their fresh new kit from a well-known brand motivates me to go that bit extra.I meet my nemeses at games. Sometimes they cant fulfil all the opportunities thrown their way and we are asked to step in. So why not take that moment to show what you do? A nemesis keeps me pushing and driving, but it is not as important as what happens on the pitch.

Roxane says:

I have several nemeses people who have slighted me in ways both real and imagined who are now mortal adversaries. May they be forced to fly only United Airlines for the rest of their days

Photography: David Harry Stewart/Trunkarchive.com

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Healthy rivalries: is it good to obsess over a nemesis? - Stylist Magazine

Themed "Decoding Life", the first Tencent ME Summit aimed to grasp the light of medical enlightenment by exploring the microscopic world of human body and tracing the tracks of humankind's evolutionary journey. In his congratulatory note for the conference, Pony Ma, Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer of Tencent, said the mission of the Summit is to "encourage more people to care about life and have better self-awareness, promote public health through authoritative popular science and reduce suffering from illness."

In her congratulatory letter for the Summit, Tu Youyou, the first ChineseNobel laureate in physiology or medicine, also said, "Apart from focusing on their own fields of research, medical professionals should also bear the responsibility of popularizing accurate and authoritative medical knowledge among the public. As health and wellness are critical issues to human being, the medical community and enterprises' joint attention to medical science is in line with this development trend."

Xiao Ruiping, Chair Professor and Director of Institute of Molecular of Medicine at Peking University, Associate Editor of NEJM, Managing Editor of NEJM Frontiers in Medicine, said, "Cardiovascular disease, stroke and other chronic diseases have become the biggest health threat in China. Clinical research in China has improved significantly in recent years. We aim to introduce the most advanced international medical research and clinical practice to China, not only for the use of medical experts, but also for the benefit of general public who can access translated medical information through a reliable popular science platform."

Speakers at the conference include:

At the Summit, Zhang Meng shared Tencent's progress in popularizing medical science. "As we know, popularization of medical science and knowledge is a mission Tencent cannot accomplish on our own. We can provide an open platform, condensing the wisdom of experts, and with the power of Internet technology, we can jointly build a bridge of trust between physicians and the public," added Zhang.

Launched in 2017, Tencent Medipedia is designed as an authoritative, professional and practical platform sharing healthcare information. Users are provided with knowledge from prevention, diagnosis, treatment of disease to rehabilitation. Through texts, photos, videos, interactive activities, AI assistant and 3D visualization, Tencent Medipedia brings high-quality original healthcare content from around the globe and localizes it to best suit the Chinese audience. It has a systematic and holistic approach to translate obscure medical knowledge into more reader-friendly information for the general public, enhancing their abilities to take care of their health and reducing their panic when facing diseases.

At the Summit, Tencent also announced the "Young Doctor Short Video Popular Science Competition", encouraging young medical professionals to open the door of medical science with rich Internet communication tools, with a view to bringing high-quality medical knowledge to the public.

Pony emphasized at last, "I hope 'Tech for Good' will become part of Tencent's mission and vision, guiding us to make the best use of technology, avoiding any misuse or inappropriate use of technology, and driving innovations and breakthroughs for the benefits of humanity."

SOURCE Tencent

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Tencent and NEJM Yi Xue Qian Yan Host ME Summit to Promote Medical Science and Healthcare - PRNewswire

USC Dornsifes Kelsey Rubin-Detlev argues that 18th-century Russian ruler Catherine the Great offers an example of how modern leaders could use wit, reason and science to advance a nation. [6 min read]

There are unscrupulous people in Russia. Fortunately, Im one of them, says Catherine the Great, played by Helen Mirren, as she stands above the corpse of a rival to her throne. For those following present day politics, this memorable moment from HBOs new, eponymously named series might feel familiar.

Little else in Catherines historic rule as Russias empress seems to align with the strategies of present-day politicians, however.

Fascinated by Enlightenment ideals of science and reason, and eager to thrust the country into the modern era, Catherine used precise strategy, charm and her considerable networking powers to rule Russia for 34 years and establish the nation as a powerful force in Europe. For those bemoaning a lack of, well, most of these traits in those holding office today, perhaps her onscreen reintroduction to America could serve as a timely reminder of an alternative mode of rule.

Kelsey Rubin-Detlev, assistant professor of Slavic languages and literatures, says, Catherine didnt just interact with public intellectuals: She was a public intellectual herself. She was a playwright, a journalist, a historian, a political theorist and much more. This is what being a great monarch in the Enlightenment was all about: combining ideas with power.

Friends and frenemies

Catherine the Great came to power in 1762 after successfully tossing her husband, Peter III, whom she considered an unbearable spouse and weak ruler, from the throne in a coup.

Her reign was perilous.

She was not Russian, but German, marrying into the Russian imperial family through a political alliance. Although Russia had a history of women rulers (Peter IIIs aunt, Elizabeth, had run the country for two decades), maintaining the respect of her male peers was a constant battle. Various usurpers, including her own son, were vying for the crown.

In response to these challenges, she cultivated a canny ability to network and turn enemies into allies without upsetting the delicate aristocratic ecosystem that kept her in power.

To paraphrase Mirrens Catherine, always keep the awkward ones busy, and then get rid of them if they actually mess it up. For Rubin-Detlev, this was a core strategy for Catherines rule.

Catherine knew better than to avoid or mistreat people whom she didnt like. Instead, she often gave potential enemies a role in her government and treated them with respect. This way, she took away any grounds they might have to complain and made their success inseparable from hers.

Keeping her detractors loyal was just one part of her strategy. Catherine was also extremely savvy in choosing her friends and correspondents, says Rubin-Detlev.

Catherines dramatic arrival on the throne and early pronouncements of her intent to rule according to Enlightenment principles attracted a great deal of attention in Europe, but many, including the leading French philosopher Voltaire, were skeptical about her ability to hold on to power. Catherine managed to overcome his doubts: When he dedicated his Philosophy of History to her a few years after her accession, she wrote a witty note back, sparking a correspondence that went on for 15 years and covered topics like politics, morality and Russias place in the Enlightenment.

The relationship was strategic.

Besides the fact that she genuinely admired his writings, [Catherine] knew that by befriending [Voltaire], she was joining a network of highly influential people, says Rubin-Detlev. She could count on Voltaire not just to publish good things about her in his very popular writings, but also to talk about her with other intellectuals and with people like the duc de Richelieu, an advisor to the king of France.

On Voltaires part, it reflected well in social circles that he was pen pals with the empress of Russia. They never met in person but Voltaire kept a portrait of Catherine in his bedroom.

Catherine II ruled Russia from 1762 until 1796. (Image: Catherine II by Fyodor Rokotov.)

Catherine the clown

Mirren successfully captures Catherines intelligence, but to Rubin-Detlev, the depiction misses Catherines signature sense of humor.

Catherine was not afraid to clown around, she says. The real Catherine learned very early in life that she could get ahead only by being likeable and making people laugh.

Before Catherine came to power, the reigning ruler, Empress Elizabeth, assigned hostile courtiers to Catherines staff to keep tabs on her. Catherine set about keeping them entertained, throwing parties and telling jokes, eventually winning her spies over to her side.

Once on the throne, Catherine hosted intimate dinner parties where guests were expected to lay aside rank and participate with whatever ridiculous games the group invented.

Making herself approachable was a way to form alliances and also a way to learn. By listening to her guests, who felt comfortable in her presence, she could find out information that may have been kept from a more imperious ruler.

She also wrote silly love letters to her partners. In one to her lifelong friend, trusted deputy and possible secret husband, Grigory Potemkin, she writes that she had seen a beautiful man the night before: You might run into him if, when you get up, you turn to the right and look at the wall. She wrote this knowing that a mirror hung to the right of his bed.

Catherine was careful, however, to maintain her position as head of state. Unlike her contemporary Marie Antoinette, who playacted as a common person and built a faux country hamlet in which to stage life as a shepherdess, Catherine knew that becoming too earthy would strip her of necessary mystique (and her head).

Catherine maintained her grip on power, no one could ever forget that she was the empress, says Rubin-Detlev.

Reason, individualism, skepticism, science

Catherine was immensely attracted to the Enlightenment movement of Western Europe, which emphasized reason and individualism above tradition and which saw science as a means to advance society.

The Enlightenment was a big, international conversation about what it is to be human and how we can make our lives better in this world. It was an absolute priority for Catherine that Russia be a part of that conversation, says Rubin-Detlev.

Catherines allegiance with these philosophies is perhaps best embodied in her push to inoculate the Russian population against smallpox.

The disease had ravaged Europe for centuries, badly disfiguring Peter III. Determined to rid her countrymen of the scourge that was killing tens of thousands, in 1767, she summoned Thomas Dimsdale, a British physician, to court. Dimsdale had developed a hotly debated early vaccination method. By dipping a knife into the smallpox pustule of a victim with a mild strain of the disease, the strain could then be transferred to a healthy patient via a small cut on their arm. Patients infected with this milder strain developed immunity, and could fight off more deadly strains in the future.

When Thomas arrived at court, Catherine insisted that she receive the innoculation, despite heavy protest from Dimsdale and the rest of her courtiers, who were concerned should the still experimental treatment fail. After inoculation, she fell ill for a few weeks and then recovered (much to the relief of Dimsdale, who had passports and swift horses at the ready to escape an irate court). The experiment was a success, and by 1800, millions of inoculations were administered to Russian citizens.

Its pretty amazing that, in the 18th century, the best publicity strategy for Catherine was to show everyone that she was planning laws and reforms by thinking about concepts like justice and natural law and by talking to the best European thinkers about Russias needs. Wouldnt it be great if political leaders today could win votes by appealing to reason and research? says Rubin-Detlev.

Modern politicians, take note. The next episode of Catherine the Great airs Nov. 4.

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Modern politicians could learn a thing or two from this Russian empress > News > USC Dornsife - USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and...

I have a piece on the home page on the importance of the American cultural nation, in the context of a discussion of civic nationalism:

It is certainly true that different forms of nationalism can be more or less inclusive and democratic. But no nation has ever been entirely civic in this sense, and its foolish to consider the United States any different.

Our cultural nation was extremely important at the outset, and remains so today. At the time of the Revolution, the colonists were 80 percent British and almost entirely Protestant. As John Jay wrote in theFederalistNo. 2, Providence has been pleased to give this one connected country to one united people a people descended from the same ancestors, speaking the same language, professing the same religion, attached to the same principles of government, very similar in their manners and customs.

The fact is that culture is seeded with ideas. Would America be the same if its people spoke Russian the language of a country that has never effectively supported property rights, the rule of law, or limited government rather than English? Would our political culture as we know it have emerged if practically every home in America a couple of hundred years ago had had a Koran on the nightstand rather than a King James Bible? Of course not.

At the beginning, this was a country not necessarily for Englishmen but by Englishmen, including their notions of liberty, which defined the American experience from the outset. Tocqueville famously wrote that the American was the Englishman left alone. If the eastern seaboard had been settled by Spaniards, you could have left them alone for a very long time and marinated them in all the Enlightenment philosophers, and they still never would have come up with the American founding.

Rich Lowry is the editor of National Review. He can be reached via email: comments.lowry@nationalreview.com.

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Not Necessarily for Englishmen but by Englishmen - National Review