After the death of her newborn daughter, this New Berlin mom made it her mission to help other bereaved parents – Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Posted: January 17, 2020 at 1:44 pm
Brandon and Lisa Price of New Berlin have two children, Chase and Ari. Ari had Trisomy 13 and died less than 10 hours after she was born in 2017.(Photo: Submitted/ Lori Williamson)
Ari Harper Price was born at 12:24 a.m. April 13, 2017, at Waukesha Memorial Hospital.
She never cried, wanted to be fed or wet her diaper.
At 14 weeks gestation, she was diagnosed withTrisomy 13, or Patau syndrome.
Trisomy 13 is a chromosomal condition associated with severe intellectual disability and physical abnormalities in many parts of the body, according to theU.S. National Library of Medicine.
Only 5 percent to 10 percentof children with this condition live past their first year.
Ari was not one of them. She died at her home in New Berlin less than 10 hours after she was born.
"She passedaway in my arms," said Lisa Price, Ari's mom.
Now, Price has made it her life's mission to help other bereaved parents move forward.
With Price's first pregnancy, she didn't experience morning sickness or even painful contractions during labor.
"I think my body was meant to be pregnant," Price said.
She said her son Chase's birth, in August 2012, was"one of the best days" of her life.
In August 2016, Price found out she was pregnant again and told her husband, Brandon, in an anniversary card.
"Everything felt very similar to my first pregnancy," she said.
When she went to a routine doctor's appointment, her doctor suggested theadvanced maternal age screening test, since she was 36 years old.
With no family history ofchromosomal disorders, diseases or disabilities, Price said theyweren't concerned going into the test.
Then, the results came back positive for a chromosomal disorder.
There was an 80 percentchance that it was a false positive, so Price underwent more testing.
While Price was at the park with Chase and friends, she got thecall with the baby's diagnosis.
"I literally dropped to my knees," Price said. "I was like, this isn't real. This can't be happening."
As the pregnancy progressed, the baby developed holes in her heart, was growing slowly and at one point, had fluid building up on her lungs.
Despite all of this, the baby didn't give up.
For her strength, bravery and courage, the Prices decided to name her Ari, which means "lion of God."
When Lisa and Brandon told their then 4-year-old son about his sister's condition, his response was, "Mom, don't worry. We'll see her again in heaven."
"It was very profound of him to say that," Price said.
Ari Harper Price was born at 12:24 a.m. April 13, 2017 at Waukesha Memorial Hospital.(Photo: Submitted/ Lori Williamson)
After Ari'sdeath, the Prices looked for grief support groups.
Lisa quickly discovered that most of them met at night or Saturday mornings, which conflicted with her job as a dance teacher atYoung Dance AcademyInc. in Oak Creek, where she started taking lessons at 8 years old.
Since a group setting wasn't going to work,Price started seeing a therapist. Butit got to be too expensive, since mental health isn't covered by the family's insurance.
"All of these factors made me realize that there's not enough tangible, consistent, constructive resources that are affordable," she said.
The resources that ended uphelping Price werephysical activity such as lyrical dance and fitness classes,reading books and listening to podcasts about grief,journaling, working with a life coachand her faith.
Price took what she learned through her own grieving and combined it with research to create the4:13 MOVE:ment Method, an online course designed to help other grieving parents.
The course was named after Ari'sbirth/death date, and a Bible verse, Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Price also structured the course to focus on four pillars that span13 weeks.
"People want to hear from somebody who has been through what they're going through and can share their experience," Price said. "It's not the same, but at least they get an idea from what you've been through and the lessons you've learned."
Price consulted withNichole Stangel, bereavement coordinator at Children's Wisconsin, to make sure her content, from word choices to concepts,was "clinically sound," Stangel said.
"You can tell she really took her time and thought about grief, thought about her talents and how they would relate to helping somebody walk through that grief process," Stangel said.
Lisa Price of New Berlin took what she learned through her own grieving and combined it with research to create the4:13 MOVE:ment Method, an online course designed to help other grieving parents.(Photo: Hannah Kirby/ Now News Group)
The first pillar of the course gives an education on grief.
"Everybody experiences it (grief) differently," Price said. "Even if you're grieving over the same person, you feel so alone."
The content starts with understanding grief, then dives into additional facets, includingbuilding a team of supporters, creating healthy boundaries, communicating needs, emotional fitness, self care, relationships, triggers, scheduling time for griefand setting goals.
"I think it could be really helpful for a parent to walk through," Stangel said. "She's coming from experience, so she can get at very specific things that a parent might be experiencing, and then what might be helpful when you're experiencing that."
For Pillar 2, Price leads the course's participants in 14 group coaching calls.
"It's working through being your own advocate and actively participating in your healing," Price said. "It's building up their grief tool kit, so they feel empowered to make choices that serve them well."
The third pillar is centered around creating community, using a private Facebook group for those involved in the course.
"There's so much healing power, not only for yourself, but for other people, when you open up and share what's happened, so you're able to be a guiding light for other people," Price said.
The fourth pillar is about continuing bonds and connection with the child who has died.
"It's coming up with ways we can continue to incorporate them in our daily routines," Price said.
The course, which launched in December, costs $197.
After the completion of the course, Price offers one-on-one coaching and additional content for additional costs.
The course can be found athttps://www.betternotbittermom.com/.
"I just know from my life experience, I had something to share," Price said. "To hold it in would be a disservice to any other parent going through this."
In addition to the course, Price's Better Not Bitter Mom's website has a blog, andresources for bereaved parents andsupporters.
Price also authored an e-book, "At a Loss for Words: What to Say to a Bereaved Parent After the Death of Their Child."
Lisa Price's Better Not Bitter Mom's website has a blog, resources for bereaved parents andsupporters, and a course.(Photo: Hannah Kirby/ Now News Group)
To raise funds for Children's Hospital in honor of the Better Not Bitter Mom's mission, New Berlin Barre District, 14260 W. National Ave., New Berlin, plans to hosta class at 3:30 p.m. Jan. 19.
"If this speaks to you please sign up. Please show up. And if you feel called- please share," the Facebook event said.
The cost is $10, and all of the proceeds will be given to the hospital.Sign-up can be done on theMindBody App.
In the future, Price has aspirations tobuild a bereavement barn "where grief is welcome and welcome to be spoken about."
It would offer grieving parents outlets for healing, including art therapy, restorative yoga,dance, gardeningand cooking, and would have a clinical staff available for consultations.
"If she (Ari) could do all the things she did to make it here to meet us, literallyI can do anything," Price said.
Contact Hannah Kirby at hannah.kirby@jrn.com. Follow her on Twitter at @HannahHopeKirby.
Our subscribers make this reporting possible. Please consider supporting local journalism by subscribing to the Journal Sentinel at jsonline.com/deal.
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After the death of her newborn daughter, this New Berlin mom made it her mission to help other bereaved parents - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Ethmoid sinusitis: Causes, symptoms, and treatment – Medical News Today
Posted: at 1:44 pm
Sinusitis is an inflammation of the sinuses. Ethmoid sinusitis is the inflammation of a specific group of sinuses the ethmoid sinuses which sit between the nose and eyes.
The ethmoid sinuses are hollow spaces in the bones around the nose. They have a lining of mucus to help prevent the nose from drying out. Inflammation of the ethmoid sinuses can lead to pressure and pain around the nose and between the eyes.
In this article, we look at the causes, symptoms, and diagnosis of ethmoid sinusitis and when to see a doctor. We also discuss how to treat and prevent ethmoid sinusitis.
The mucous lining of the sinuses traps dust, germs, and pollutants. When the sinuses become inflamed, the mucus cannot flow normally. Tissue swelling traps mucus in the sinuses, which can allow germs to grow.
In ethmoid sinusitis, this inflammation affects the ethmoid sinuses. People have four groups of sinuses, each of which can become inflamed:
The causes of ethmoid sinusitis will typically be similar to those of other forms of sinusitis. They may include:
A person with ethmoid sinusitis may experience many symptoms common to all sinus infections. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), these can include:
In addition, they may experience symptoms specific to ethmoid sinusitis because of the position of these sinuses near the eyes. These symptoms include a swollen, red, or painful eye.
Sinusitis can either be acute, meaning that a person has it for only a short time, or chronic, where it lasts for more than 12 weeks, even with treatment.
As with other types of sinusitis, the most common cause of ethmoid sinusitis is a virus, such as the common cold. In these cases, it will often resolve without a person needing to see a doctor.
According to the CDC, a person should speak to a doctor if:
When diagnosing ethmoid sinusitis, a doctor will ask the person how they have been feeling and carry out a physical examination to look for the characteristic signs and symptoms of sinusitis. These may include:
The doctor may also look into the person's nose, throat, or ears for visible signs of inflammation. After this examination, if the doctor is not certain about the correct diagnosis, they may also insert a thin tube with a light and a camera on the end into the nose to examine the sinus tissues.
Occasionally, a doctor may recommend an X-ray or a CT scan to determine the likely cause of the person's symptoms.
According to the CDC, a person's sinus infection will usually get better on its own. However, if a doctor suspects a bacterial infection, they may prescribe antibiotics.
The doctor may also prescribe:
The CDC also note that home remedies may help some people. They recommend putting a warm compress over the affected area or breathing in steam from a bowl of hot water or a shower.
Read more about how to treat sinus infections here.
People can often prevent sinus infections by taking steps to stay healthy and to help others stay healthy. These include:
Most people should find that ethmoid sinusitis resolves on its own with some basic self-care and home remedies. If a doctor thinks that ethmoid sinusitis is due to a bacterial infection, they may prescribe antibiotics, which are usually very effective.
According to an article in the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology: In Practice, if nasal polyps or a problem with the structure of a person's nasal passage is causing their ethmoid sinusitis, they may require surgery to reduce the likelihood of their ethmoid sinusitis reoccurring.
People may wish to see their doctor for more information about the causes, treatment, and prevention of sinusitis, particularly if the condition is chronic.
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Ethmoid sinusitis: Causes, symptoms, and treatment - Medical News Today
Read and chill: This anti-self-help book will help fix your everyday woes – Livemint
Posted: at 1:44 pm
If you wake up feeling like the exploding head emoji every morning, journalist Naomi Dattas new book may be what the doctor ordered. How To Be A Likeable Bigot (Penguin Random House, 299) is A Handbook For The Savvy Survivor. Surviving what? Most things that creep upon our urban, 9-5 grind, as we sit at our desks stewing in misery or dreaming of greener pastures. Some of the chapter titles: How To Contribute Nothing To Team Meetings And Not Let Anyone Catch On", How To Crack Woke Jokes". Read this if you want to be a sulking liberal", a chronic feel-gooder" or a Kangaroo Dad". Datta says the book is meant for those who want to live in relative peace, without being too wound up all the time". Now who wouldnt like to get good at that?
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Read and chill: This anti-self-help book will help fix your everyday woes - Livemint
Nailbiter to keen runner: the three secrets to turning a bad habit into a good one – The Guardian
Posted: at 1:44 pm
Nailbiting its disgusting. Photograph: AndreyPopov/Getty Images/iStockphoto
I am going to talk to Wendy Wood about my bad habits. Professor of psychology at the University of Southern California, Wood researches how habits guide behaviour and has written a new book about it: Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick. Not market-driven self-help, it is based on research, data, actual science. I hope she will help me to understand my bad habits, change them, and maybe even pick up a few good ones.
What are my unwanted habits, though, since I quit smoking? I should probably look at Twitter a little less, but thats everyone, right? Or Facebook, Instagram; whatever it is you look at your phone for. There is a chapter at the end of Woods book, How to Stop Looking at Your Phone So Often. You have to start off by noticing you are doing it, then use some of the tools you have hopefully picked up in the preceding pages, such as controlling the cues to the behaviour, adding friction ... we will get to some of that.
I bite my nails, habitually. It is gross, I know. But apart from that, I am struggling to think of anything. I will just confirm that I am otherwise perfect, with my girlfriend
Ah, so it seems there are a couple more quite a long list, actually. I wont bore you with the details (most of it isnt even true). Top of her list, though, is something I do recognise: I suck air in through my teeth sporadically when Im talking, especially if Im concentrating. It makes a noise. And sometimes I do something with my face at the same time, kind of screw it up.
You know, to be honest, it kind of sounds charming, says Wood, down the line from Baja California in Mexico, where she is on holiday. I dont know why you would want to change that, but I suppose if it bothers your family then that would be something to work on.
You know what, no, Im going to leave it. Being bothered by it is the only problem here. A leading expert on habits says that this one sounds charming, and Im taking that. Next!
Wood asks which of my bad habits I would most like to change. Change is challenging and motivation will add to the chance of success. Lets tackle the nailbiting, then, because I admit to it and it is disgusting.
I cant tell you about the origins of your nailbiting except that most people develop the habit when they are anxious and it distracts them, she says. Because its a little bit of pain and it makes you focus away from the anxiety, it is rewarding. So the next time you feel anxious, you go back to biting your nails.
That figures. She asks me about the cues that activate the behaviour. Are there particular times and places it happens? Is it anxiety from work, sitting at the desk, trying to write and generate stuff? I think so, yeah, my high-pressure media job, calling up eminent scientists during their Mexican holidays.
She explains that habit memories change only slowly, if at all; that habits keep being triggered by the circumstances around you; and that your habit automatically comes to mind before you have a chance to do something else. All of this makes our habits resistant to change. Oh dear, no quick fix, it seems. But the way forward can be pared down into three parts.
So I could wear gloves at times of high-nailbiting likelihood. Or coat them with that foul-tasting stuff they used to and may still give to kids. Another possibility is to sit on your hands, suggests Woods. Might make writing tricky.
What women do, and theres no reason why you shouldnt consider this, is get a nice manicure, she says. That makes it more difficult for you to bite your nails because it is really obvious, plus youll have just spent a lot of money. I could get extensions, she suggests. They wouldnt have to be long, if I didnt fancy going the full Selena Gomez.
If it is my work environment that is triggering the behaviour, could I change that? Maybe getting a standing desk would make it less likely that you bite your nails, she says. She tells me about a colleague of hers who got a treadmill desk, after which he was surprisingly productive. A treadmill desk! I like it, and that might even encourage one of my other good-habit targets; to do a bit of exercise.
Something to do with my hands, instead of chewing them. Are fidget-spinners still a thing? A stress ball, perhaps, or an executive toy. I will think about it. The thing to bear in mind is that willpower is going to get you started, but there is good research that it doesnt stick around long enough for us to be successful when we are trying to change a strong habit. Think about that diet that went the way of the one before. Or the gym membership that didnt become a habit. We need the situation to help as well.
What about the positive changes, then? How am I going to turn my occasional, reluctant run into a habit? It is something Wood did. It wasnt easy, getting up early that was the only time to fit the run in. But she liked feeling fit and it helped her to control her weight. Goals and rewards help in starting to do something. It took time, too. She says she struggled for about a year with that one. A year!
Again, the suggestion is to use the environment to make the challenge easier. I started sleeping in my running clothes and I would put my running shoes by the door, she says. And I had a dog at the time, whom I started running with. She loved it; she would come and wake me up.
Great. Im desperate for a dog and if it can help develop good-habit formation, thats an added bonus. It might be tricky to get past the rest of my family, who want a cat. Im not sure how sleeping in my running gear is going to go down either.
Talking to Wood is making me think about my relationship. There is a bit in her book where she talks about what she calls habituation in long-term relationships, whereby partners repeatedly do the same things together, settling into each others presence and it is striking a chord. Its a good thing, she says. It means you are dependent on each other. But it can also get to a point where you are not feeling a whole lot in a relationship.
How do I change that? Do something new together, that creates new patterns and allows you to experience your partner in new ways. It could be as simple as cooking classes. Yes, we like to cook; stick a dim-sum course on the list.
And that is probably enough for now, for 2020. Its going to take time to form new habits. Its true, old habits do indeed die hard. But I have a better understanding of how it works and some new tools. Im going to create new patterns and pork dumplings with my partner, and this will enable us to experience each other in new and emotional ways.
Im going to spice things up further by sleeping in my tracksuit. We will have a dog, too, not just for Christmas, and it will run with me every morning and that will feel eventually not like a chore but normal and good.
Ill also run on a treadmill as I work. And Im booking myself into a nail bar for a set of top-of-the-range acrylic extensions. But I will continue to suck air through my teeth. And to gurn, charmingly.
Good Habits, Bad Habits by Wendy Wood is published by Pan Macmillan. To buy for 17.60 (RRP 20) go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0203 176 3837. P&P charges may apply.
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Nailbiter to keen runner: the three secrets to turning a bad habit into a good one - The Guardian
Choosing the Best Therapy for Patients with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia – Curetoday.com
Posted: at 1:44 pm
With many targeted treatment options for patients with CLL to use upfront, the question arises as to which one is best for the individual.
Targeted therapies, such as Imbruvica (ibrutinib), Calquence (acalabrutinib) and Venclexta (venetoclax) plus Gazyva (obinutuzumab), have been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and have shown to keep patients in remission or reduce the risk of disease progression or death.
The most recent study is the ELEVATE-TN study, which led to the approval of acalabrutinib, Woyach, an associate professor at The Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer CenterJames, said in an interview with OncLive, a sister publication of CURE. That study was (Leukeran [chlorambucil])/obinutuzumab versus acalabrutinib alone versus acalabrutinib plus obinutuzumab. Acalabrutinib and acalabrutinib/obinutuzumab had significantly improved (progression free survival [PFS]) with about a 90% two-year PFS rate.
In addition to using these medications alone, researchers are studying their use in combination with other drugs, such as Venclexta with Imbruvica, a type of Brutons tyrosine kinase (BTK) inhibitor. BTK inhibitors work by keeping the cancer cells from growing and have shown great results in CLL.
One study looked at combining venetoclax with the BTK inhibitor (Imbruvica) to see if you can both capitalize on the efficacy of the two agents, and then potentially get patients into such deep remissions that they can come off therapy, she said. At the 2019 ASH Annual Meeting, we had the follow-up of The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center study in both the frontline and relapsed/refractory settings, in which the majority of patients are getting minimal residual disease-negative responses. There are a lot of complete responses with fairly limited follow-up off treatment. Most patients are still in remission.
Side effect profile and patient preference can be used to help guide oncologists on which treatment is best to start with, Woyach explained. We have the discussion for patients who are very high-risk, meaning those with TP53 mutations or 17p deletions, she said. The data with the BTK inhibitors looks a little bit stronger compared with that fixed duration of venetoclax/obinutuzumab. For those patients, I'm still trying to steer them towards the BTK inhibitor; however, it's not wrong to (give) venetoclax/obinutuzumab to those patients either.
Imbruvica has the stronger safety and efficacy data, Woyach added. However, with longer follow-up, Imbruvica has more side effects, such as hypertension; bleeding risk; and atrial fibrillation (AFib), or an irregular heartbeat, which has been seen in 10% to 15% of patients, generally those who are older. In addition, arthralgia, myalgia, diarrhea, bruising and gastrointestinal issues can also been experience by patients treated with Imbruvica.
Although patients have to take Calquence twice a day, the medication has fewer side effects, including less cases of AFib and hypertension. The same bleeding risk as Imbruvica is present, Woyach said. She added that the downside to the Venclexta and Gazyva combination is that they are time consuming.
Overall, these therapies continue to show great promise, but if a patient relapses or becomes resistant to therapy, Woyach explained that reversible BTK inhibitors are in development. A few of those reversible molecules (were presented) at the 2019 ASH Annual Meeting and showed very interesting efficacy; these included ARQ 531 and LOXO-305, she said.
This article was adapted from an article that originally appeared on OncLive, titled Woyach Highlights Progress and Next Steps in CLL Paradigm.
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Choosing the Best Therapy for Patients with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia - Curetoday.com
The Obama Bounce Has Real Impact and It Has Nothing to Do With Basketball – The New York Times
Posted: at 1:44 pm
THE AUDACITY OF NOPE On Dec. 28, 2019, Jenny Odell was at home in Oakland, Calif., getting ready to meet friends at the movie 1917, when her boyfriend suddenly called out to her from the next room. He said, I have some weird and good news for you, she remembers. He had just clicked on a tweet from former President Obama, announcing his list of favorite books from 2019. Listed at No. 6 (titles were in alphabetical order) was Odells first book, How to Do Nothing, which our reviewer described as a complex, smart and ambitious book that first reads like a self-help manual, then blossoms into a wide-ranging political manifesto. The gist: Stop toggling. Pay attention. Notice nature.
For Odell, a multidisciplinary artist and an avid bird-watcher, news of Obamas enthusiasm was totally out of the blue. She says, Im honestly surprised that anyone had the patience to wade through what is at times a dense, strangely shaped book. She continued on with her day: She went to the movie. She checked on some ducks that were using a nearby lake as a way station on their journey south. (In her book, Odell writes, Simple awareness is the seed of responsibility; she is an author who practices what she preaches.)
Generally, a title destined for best-sellerdom will land on the list within weeks of publication. This was not the case for Odells debut. Eight months after it came out, 14 days after Obama gave it the nod, How to Do Nothing touched down at No. 10 on last weeks hardcover nonfiction list a rare feat for a book of its age.
So how much did the presidential endorsement help? According to Dennis Johnson, the publisher of Melville House, which brought How to Do Nothing into the world, The book had been doing really, really well its been an indie phenomenon, making various regional lists throughout the year but theres no question Obamas plug gave it the rocket fuel to land on the best-seller list. Melville House declined to share exact sales figures, but a spokeswoman said that Obamas selection increased demand by 450 percent over the books preholiday sales pace.
As for Odell, she has a book shed like to recommend to Obama for 2020: Naomi Kleins This Changes Everything, summed up by our reviewer as a book of such ambition and consequence that it is almost unreviewable. President Obama, we welcome your thoughts.
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The Obama Bounce Has Real Impact and It Has Nothing to Do With Basketball - The New York Times
What’s Your Number? Meet the Enneagram Personality Type Influencers – The Daily Beast
Posted: at 1:44 pm
A few months ago, I went day drinking with a group of unnaturally attractive humans, the kind of people who look good in baby bangs and low rise jeans. Im a 7, a girl with a sleeve full of tattoos announced. Same, I agreed, assuming she meant shoe size and thrilled that we had something in common. Then a large man offered that he was a 4, and I realized we werent talking about feet.
In a second, Id learn that we were talking about Enneagram types, a range of nine personalities that has become a kind of Whats your sign? for the influencer, or influencer-adjacent, set. Someone passed me their phone and I took a 10-minute test which asked questions like whether Im more relationship or goal oriented and whether Im methodical and cautious or adventurous and a risk-taker.
Wanting to seem Totally Chill for my new, seemingly-poreless friends, I lied, punching in that I am spontaneous and fun-loving and romantic and imaginative. According to 9Types.com, this indeed did make me a 7, or an Adventurer, known for being energetic, lively, and optimistic, someone who wants to contribute to the world. (Who doesnt? I silently countered to myself.)
Later that night, alone, my truest self bathed in computer bluelight, I retook the test. With no one to impress, I was a 4, the Romantic, basically a needy little bitch with sensitive feelings. Under How to Get Along With Me read truths like, Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me and Dont tell me Im too sensitive or overreacting!
Rude of the Enneagram to drag me like a runaway Clydesdale, but true.
The Enneagram has a hard-to-trace early history. The pseudosciences nine types allegedly have roots in fourth-century Christian mysticism, but it really became popular after the Armenian writer George Gurdjieff, who died in 1949, mapped out the geometric, constellatory figure. Gurdjieff taught the Fourth Way, a supposed path to enlightenment championed during the New Age by the Bolivian philosopher Oscar Ichazo.
Jesuit scholars in the 1970s also adopted the Enneagram in their teachings, and today the practice occupies a curious place in the cannon of self-help literature. Some therapists use the Enneagram to encourage self-reflection. Evangelical Christians believe the number can strengthen their relationship with God. Plenty of gurus use it to sell their pop psych books.
Few things can unite the religious right and Marianne Williamson supporters like the Enneagram does, probably because regardless of politics, people just like talking about themselves.
A lot of people will often feel like they are somehow unique and alone in their experience, they are somehow out there, and not normal, Kim Schneiderman, a New York therapist, told me. For those people, I find that with the Enneagram, they begin to realize certain aspects of themselves in the descriptions of personality types.
Just as the zodiac or crystal healing has helped many a nebulously spiritual person find clarity amidst the chaos, the Enneagram has also developed a very online following. This presents a new cottage industry of influencers like Ashton Ober, who runs @EnneagramAshton while working her day job at the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape.
In middle school, Ober lived for the days she her mother would drive her to Barnes and Noble, where she ran straight to the personality test book section. I was a diehard, Ober, now 30, told me.
The enneagram tells you the motivations behind your behavior. It tells you why you do the things you do. Its more of a tool for self-growth instead of just like, here are your results, thats that
She first learned about the Enneagram two years ago, while finishing up her masters program. Ober discovered that she is a 2, or a Helper, a type known for its need to give and feel loveperhaps unsurprising, given her career in social work.
Unlike the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, another character assessment Ober admits to being obsessed with, the Enneagram provided not just an evaluation, but an explanation. The Enneagram tells you the motivations behind your behavior, Ober said. It tells you why you do the things you do. Its more of a tool for self-growth instead of just like, here are your results, thats that.
Of course, that is only if one cares to deep dive into what things really mean. Others, like my day-drinking companions, might be fine explaining away their behavior with, Im such a 9.
Ober posts color-coordinated info-graphics that are ripe for comments, offering guidance and relationship advice for different types. The point of these posts are, of course, to engage, and nothing gets Enneagram fans talking more than a joke that makes them feel seen or read.
The Enneagram is not a comfortable thing, Ober said. It draws out characteristics about ourselves that are not always really great. A few of us who take the test are willing to go further with the results, but a lot of people dont.
I am trying my hardest, but I am not a lifestyle blogger, not going on there and saying, Look what I bought today at Target
Last summer, Obers account hit 20,000 followers. Today, it has over 190,000. She credits a willingness to start posting more about her personal life for that rapid growth. I started to show myself and my face more, Ober explained. I hit 40,000 in September, then 100,000 in November and 175,000 in January.
Still, Ober realizes that her content is very niche, and hard to monetize in the usual influencer way of sponcon and partnership deals. I am trying my hardest, but I am not a lifestyle blogger, not going on there and saying, Look what I bought today at Target, Ober said, though she has done some marketing for various life-coaching companies. By her own estimation, the following is like, 96 percent women.
Ginny Blake, 22 and a law student in West Virginia, says the Enneagram helped her through anorexia recovery. It ended up being a helpful tool to help me analyze triggers and thinking patterns Id been having for years, but now through a new lens, she said. Anorexia is largely driven by anxiety [and] I find I am most likely to relapse when I feel as though Im losing control over some aspect of my life. Restricting becomes a default mindset in order to restore some type of control.
Things clicked when she learned she was a Type 8, or the Asserter, a personality which generally fears a loss of agency. Reading up on the ways Type 8s respond to stress has been really interesting, because its like getting a peek at my brain. The Enneagram became a tool in my belt to help me begin to acknowledge and unravel harmful thought patterns, Blake said.
Blake now runs @EnneagramAndMemes, another popular account with over 160,000 followers. She believes it is like gently roasting yourself and your friends. Blake hopes that if she can make her followers laugh, she can inspire them to learn more about their types.
Everyone carries with them a story that shaped and molded them into who they are [and] learning someones type is like getting an itty-bitty glimpse of that story, Blake added. Learning someone shares your type is really special, too, because all of a sudden you realize someone else thinks like you.
Sarahjane Case, 33, runs @EnneagramAndCoffee from her home in Asheville, North Carolina. She first learned of the different types five years ago, while discussing her then-boyfriend, now-husband, with a friend. After annoying everyone she knew with facts about the Enneagram, Case began posting on Instagram in December 2018.
Were in this season of life right now where we are asking everybody to own their stuff, Case said. Really look at yourself and think about what you bring to the table and what is serving the world, and own that. The Enneagram basically asks you to do that directly.
Case said that her following of nearly 560,000 is made up of a lot of people in Nashville, with New York and Texas being other major hubs. Despite the interest, she is adamant that you dont have to be your number.
A lot of times we think that the whole point of the Enneagram is that we have to be this in order to be loved, be OK, and be safe, Case said. So when we over-identify with our number, there is a sense of, I do not need to change this part of myself. I want more for people than that.
John Luckovich, a 32-year-old teacher at New York Enneagram, has followed the practice since a canoe trip he took as a high schooler in north Georgia. I was friends with this woman whose dad was friends with Don Riso [who wrote the book Personality Types], and she goes, John, youre a 4, Luckovich said. It ruined my life. It started this obsession that I have not diverged from at all.
Luckovich is deeply involved in the Enneagram workshop and speaking circuit, even meeting his wife at a conference held near the Swiss-Italian border. Hes a searcher, someone who believes people need to spend years studying the Enneagram to truly understand it.
Im very snotty, he joked. With the Instagram stuff, some of the memes are funny, very feware, but some are. There are a couple of accounts I follow, but most of it makes me cringe.
He chalks the Enneagrams newfound prevalence down to widespread generational feelings of hopelessness about the future.
I think theres also a real interest in checking out whats going on beneath the hood? How do I find something thats fulfilling? Whats actually real?
I think people can instinctively feel that the Enneagram has a lot of substance to it, but its a far cry from recognizing that something has substance versus being able to extract that substance, Luckovich said. But I think theres also a real interest in checking out whats going on beneath the hood. How do I find something thats fulfilling? Whats actually real?
And of course: Some people are attracted to the Enneagram out of pure narcissism and fascination with oneself, and thats fine. If thats where youre at, thats where youre at.
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What's Your Number? Meet the Enneagram Personality Type Influencers - The Daily Beast
How much should you pack for a trip? The psychology behind how much a person packs. – Vox.com
Posted: at 1:44 pm
If you find yourself at an airport, youll likely notice two types of travelers. Theres the person struggling with the overstuffed suitcase (or three) right alongside the traveler handling little more than a light duffel.
Of course, they might be heading to totally different destinations for totally different lengths of time and under totally different circumstances, but its clear that a persons packing style whether they pack light or pack heavy is a distinctive personality trait.
It turns out that how much we pack has more to do with our personal travel experiences, including our destination, luggage type, and even social standards. Packing, whether it be for a weekend trip or a two-week vacation, is a highly personal act and can create a fair amount of pressure. Were expected to be effective and efficient travelers who can determine the most important items we need for the entire length of time were away from home. I personally find comfort in bringing more than I need, just in case.
When were traveling, our emotions can feel more polarized since were experiencing a stressful situation, Lara Fielding, a clinical psychologist and author of Mastering Adulthood, told me. Our stress levels increase because were not in our comfort zone, and [because we] are surrounded by uncomfortable, different people.
A popular travel stereotype is that women tend to pack more than men, which is an old clich that Fielding suspects originated nearly a century ago, when women wore more elaborate outfits. Women are also more accustomed to carrying some sort of bag, since womens clothing tends to have small, inadequate pockets. Although those expectations have changed, it takes awhile for these stereotypes to dissipate, Fielding added.
Our stress levels increase because were not in our comfort zone, and [because we] are surrounded by uncomfortable, different people
From Fieldings point of view, how a traveler chooses to pack ultimately comes down to their past travel experiences. A persons behavior is influenced consciously or subconsciously by what theyve encountered before, and most people are aiming to cover their butts when they pack.
There are plenty of smart packing and self-help guides for overpackers, but Jan Chipchase, founder of the design firm Studio D Radiodurans, says luggage design can also influence a persons packing behaviors. Chipchase, who also designs and sells lightweight luggage at SDR Traveller, classifies himself as a no-wheels traveler and has spent the past decade studying peoples packing behavior around the world.
Contrary to popular belief, Chipchase believes wheeled luggage is not a convenient invention for travelers, but rather constrains them during their trips. People see wheels as a way to get their luggage from point A to point B, but the moment theyve chosen wheels, theyve cut down the travel options that are open to them, he said.
For example, it would be much harder for a tourist to navigate a new citys public transit system with a wheeled suitcase than it would be with a small backpack. A backpack also allows for more spontaneous travel, Chipchase argued, since a person only has to worry about whats on their back.
The first wheeled suitcases were sold in 1970, but the concept faced resistance early on salespeople didnt think men wanted a suitcase with wheels. In the decades following this invention, however, designers fine-tuned the standard model of rolling luggage were familiar with today: a suitcase with two tiny wheels and a retractable handle.
Wheels give the illusion of weightless luggage and, according to Chipchase, lead people to pack more. In a 2015 blog, he wrote that when people are packing at home, theyre focused on fitting everything they need within the bag. Only after the trip has started, when the drawback of that extra bulk is apparent, is the desire for remedial action, the clear-out, triggered. By then it is too late.
His reasoning makes sense to me, a chronic overpacker. For a recent weekend trip to San Francisco, I unnecessarily packed a full suitcase and ended up trying to make the stuff I brought fit alongside whatever else I accumulated during my two-day stay.
As a frequent traveler, Chipchase is on the road anywhere from six to nine months a year, a lifestyle that requires him to be minimalist and intentional in his packing. In manifestos and blogs online, ultralight packers say this preparation method helps them think more deeply about the trip on which theyre about to embark.
In an essay for BuzzFeed News, reporter Alison Willmore wrote that the real trick to traveling light requires only that you accustom yourself to leaving things behind things that you bought because you thought you needed them, but now know you can get by without.
In a way, packing light is counterintuitive to what most of us have been conditioned to feel about entirely new environments. Even if youre an experienced traveler, youre likely to have a higher stress response, and the desire to make yourself more comfortable intensifies, said Fielding, the psychologist.
This is a mindset that most seasoned travelers, like Willmore and Chipchase, have attempted to overcome. However, Willmore wrote theres a reason for our attachment to heavy suitcases, that the amount of excess stuff we carry is an attempt to cope with the distance from home: The emotions carried in that heavy suitcase remain the desire to bring something of your life to a new place and to take something similar back.
Theres no right answer to whether a person should pack light or heavy, although the travel industry is encouraging fliers to travel with less. Checked-bag fees are on the rise, and airlines have adopted less-expensive ticket tiers like basic economy that limit travelers to only a small bag.
Its difficult to find that sweet spot if youre an infrequent traveler, but whatever your default packing behavior, it likely isnt a personality flaw, Fielding told me: Its a safety prediction based on your needs for whatever lies ahead.
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How much should you pack for a trip? The psychology behind how much a person packs. - Vox.com
This Is the Cost of Your Beauty Routine – The New York Times
Posted: at 1:44 pm
It takes two hours to spot-treat a growing zit with a pimple patch. It takes 20 minutes to de-puff the eye area with a mask. It takes only 10 to give your complexion a shot of hydration with a sheet mask.
Fifty years ago, or as recently as 10 or even five, one skin-care product could last you a few weeks or sometimes months. Now, beauty companies feed our single-use behavior the super-convenient way of using something only once before discarding it with a flood of non-biodegradable, non-recyclable disposable products.
Not only is there an abundance of sheet masks, but there are also derivatives sold to target specific areas like laugh lines or your derrire or your nether regions. There are cleansing wipes available from nearly every brand on the market. And there are zit stickers that come packaged in multiple layers of plastic.
People havent been made as aware of the impact of beauty, said Freya Williams, the chief executive of Futerra North America, an agency that helps companies with sustainability efforts. Were taught in school to recycle, but its focused more in the kitchen than in the bathroom, so it doesnt seem as important.
The single-use phenomenon is a fairly recent development, Ms. Williams added. And, she said, its happening without anybody realizing how much these items are taking over.
Its hard to resist innovative product introductions, seasonal trends and the promise of clearer, tighter, smoother skin. At the peak of the K-beauty trend, a 10-step beauty routine was not only heralded as the answer to a flawless complexion, but it also came to exemplify one form of self-care.
We saw an uptick in the number of skin-care products consumers used at the height of the Korean skin-care trend, with many adding an additional mask or product, said Larissa Jensen, the executive director and beauty industry analyst at the NPD Group market research consultancy.
Every extra serum or mask comes with problematic side effects, of course. Without our even realizing it, were driving up the environmental impact.
Elizabeth Mullans, a dermatologist in Houston, believes that a streamlined anti-aging regimen can be boiled down to three essential products: sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher, an over-the-counter retinol or prescription-strength retinoid, and a vitamin C serum.
I dont think you can use too many products they will all be absorbed into your skin but these three are going to help the most, Dr. Mullans said. Other products can be added to target specific concerns, like benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid for acne, or hyaluronic acid for irritation or dryness.
Stay away from any product that contains collagen because the molecules are too big to be absorbed, she said. Its basically a glorified moisturizer.
Many believe the industrys biggest culprit and most challenging hurdle is packaging, with luxury brands being the greatest offender. The way brands create luxury is through layers of heavy packaging, which is often not recyclable and is being discarded, Ms. Williams said.
Already we have reached a point at which overpackaging no longer feels luxurious. The industry watchdog Estee Laundry, an Instagram account that calls out bullying, copycats and social injustices, has long put brands on blast for waste. A recent target was Pat McGrath Labs and the excessive amount of plastic that comes with a single beauty product.
Making sustainability synonymous with luxury is an opportunity, and its something were starting to see in fashion, Ms. Williams said. Invest in something thats worthy of your time and money.
Investing in waterless beauty products is one example. Anhydrous formulas eliminate water as a key ingredient to deliver on three things: higher potency (and in turn, greater efficacy); a longer shelf life (without water, there is less risk of bacteria growth); fewer toxins (because there is no longer a need for parabens or preservatives); and water conservation.
Clean beauty is expected to generate nearly $25 billion by 2025, according to a report from Grand View Research. That may be only a fraction of the beauty industry (an $863 billion business by 2024, according to Zion Market Research), but the demand for products that are marketed as clean or natural continues to be strong.
This focus on ingredients and whether theyre good if theyre harmful to your skin or the environment is why theres a big movement toward clean beauty, Ms. Jensen said. Clean beauty ties into the wellness movement and the wellness movement ties into the environment, because its about whats good for you and the planet.
She added that demand for such products may help explain an NPD 2019 market report (from January to September) indicating that the skin-care category was up 7 percent in sales, while makeup was down 5 percent.
And as Gen Z consumers, whose priorities include transparency and sustainability, gain spending power as they age, this movement will likely accelerate.
If you look at beautys impact as a whole, the challenge can seem overwhelming. Everything how ingredients are sourced, carbon emissions in production must be considered lest it lead to harmful social and environmental impacts.
Products that use plastic, like glitter or microbeads, can contribute to ocean waste; certain chemicals in sunscreens can harm marine life; and if an ingredient is not sourced responsibly, it can to environmental destruction, like deforestation.
Some companies are making an effort to effect change. Unilever recently pledged that all Dove bottles will be composed of recycled plastic, that the Dove Beauty Bar will be plastic free later in 2020 and that refillable stainless steel deodorant sticks are in the works in an effort to reduce its use of virgin plastic by more than 20,500 tons per year.
For many digitally native, born-good start-ups, sustainability is embedded in their DNA, like By Humankind, a personal care brand dedicated to reducing single-use plastic by introducing plastic-free shampoo and conditioner bars and refillable deodorant containers.
LOLI, a zero-waste clean beauty brand, bottles its formulas in food-grade glass yogurt jars, which can be reused in the kitchen.
Cadence, a company committed to eliminating travel-size plastic, will begin selling its refillable containers on Jan. 21. They allow users to decant their products into durable, leakproof vessels, a percentage of which is made from consumer waste.
Travel-size versions of beauty products are especially wasteful, said Stephanie Hon, the founder of Cadence. By delivering what you love your beauty routine were allowing you to bring what you want in a more sustainable way.
She has a point: Consumers are fiercely loyal to their routines (its why the beauty industry has historically been immune to recession), which means it is that much harder for them to give up their products for a more sustainable option.
Even though 75 percent of consumers believe sustainability is very important, its the key purchasing criterion for only 7 percent, according to a study by Boston Consulting Group.
Consumers think companies arent willing to change, and companies think consumers arent willing to change, so its a stalemate, Ms. Williams said. Once consumers arent forced to choose between sustainability and performance, thats when youll start to see solutions taking off.
There are, however, small actions you can take now: Look for packageless products (Lush has long championed them); avoid single-use products; swap disposable cleansing wipes and cotton pads for reusable ones; and recycle whatever you can. (TerraCycle offers programs for cosmetic products.)
Were nowhere near where we want to be, but taking the right steps is all we can do, Ms. Jensen said. At the end of the day, there are companies that are making money without any changes, but when it starts to affect a companys bottom line, thats when things are going to start to change.
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This Is the Cost of Your Beauty Routine - The New York Times
5 mental traps that successful people never fall for, according to psychologists – CNBC
Posted: at 1:44 pm
Our brains are wired to make sense of things by drawing connections between thoughts, ideas, actions, and consequences. But sometimes, they can be straight up wrong, negative, or misleading.
Cognitive behavioral therapists call these instances "cognitive distortions." These traps cause us to perceive reality differently than how it really is and the most successful people have learned how to recognize and avoid these errors in thinking at all costs.
While writing my book, "The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care," I researched and interviewed psychologists to learn how these thought patterns can get in the way of our health, happiness, and ability to past struggles and achieve our goals.
Here are some of the most common mental traps that hold us back from success and how to overcome them:
Mistaking our emotions as evidence for the truth is one of the most common mental traps we fall into.
Example: "I feel like my ideas are worthless, therefore I shouldn't share them in this meeting."
Emotional reasoning can often cause us to make poor choices. In his 2015 letter to shareholders, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos warned against the dangers of letting emotions overwhelm you when making important decisions, rather than taking a step back and trying to learn what you can about a problem.
"Some decisions are consequential and irreversible or nearly irreversible," he wrote. "These decisions must be made methodically, carefully, slowly, with great deliberation and consultation."
To combat emotional reasoning, cognitive therapists suggest asking yourself questions like, "What are the facts that support my emotionally-based determination?" Or, "Is it possible that my feelings are clouded by some bias that ought to be reevaluated?"
When you stop transforming your feelings into truths, you gain the logic and clarity that will allow you to make smarter decisions.
We engage in blaming when we hold others accountable for our own actions and feelings.
Example: On your way out to work, your cat escaped through the door. "Great," you say. "Now I'm going to be late, and it's the cat's fault."
We often blame others because it helps us "preserve our sense of self-esteem by avoiding awareness of our own flaws or failings," according to Susan Whitbourne, a Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.
But failing to take responsibility for the consequences of your own behavior means you're not learning from your mistakes. And being able to grow through your experiences, especially the unpleasant ones, is crucial to success.
"Playing the blame game is irrational, and it stigmatizes the other party," says Gustavo Razzetti, author of "Stretch Your Mind." He suggests that practicing empathy can help you quit the habit of blaming. "Focus on understanding the other person. Try walking in his or her shoes. Get rid of the 'right-wrong' approach."
Many of us have fallen down the negative spiral of expecting disaster to strike, no matter what.
Example: The news reports that a storm is approaching. You start to imagine all the bad things that can happen: "What if my house gets destroyed?" "What if someone I love gets hurt?" "What if I get hurt?"
Fear, especially irrational fear, plays a big part in catastrophizing, researchers have found. But always anticipating the worst possible outcome is far from useful. In fact, studies show that it can lead to anxiety and depression.
Psychologist Judith Beth, best known for her work in cognitive behavioral therapy, recommends listing the advantages and disadvantages of putting your time and energy into catastrophizing. Or, she says, it may help to play "devil's advocate," and list all the best-case (or even OK-case) scenarios. You may find yourself in a calmer, less anxious, and clearer state of mind.
In the fallacy of fairness, a person believes that every situation should be determined by what is fair.
Example: You're bitter that your colleague got a promotion and you didn't. You complain to yourself that it isn't fair: "She rarely shows up to work on time and I probably work much harder than her."
But guess what? As you've probably been told several times as a child: Life isn't always fair. When engage in the fallacy of fairness, you're more likely to wind up feeling angry, resentful, or hopeless.
Psychology professors at Brigham Young University-Idaho suggest that stating your feelings as preferences can help change the way you feel about a situation.
So instead of letting yourself be consumed by bitterness, tell yourself: "It would be nice to get a promotion, but I don't always have control over that. Perhaps I can talk to my boss about how I can get one next year."
Personalization involves taking everything personally or assigning blame to yourself, without any logical reason.
Example: "My son got an 'F' on his final exam, and it's all my fault. I should've spent more time helping him study."
Psychologists have found that personalization can lead to guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy. To work through this cognitive distortion, take a step back and think about what part you played in the situation. Then consider how you might not be entirely to blame.
By looking at things from an outsider's perspective, you may discover that there were a variety of factors at play, and that the outcome is not a direct reflection of you.
Anna Borges is a writer, podcast host, mental health advocate, and author of "The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care." Her work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, The Outline, SELF, and more. She lives in Brooklyn, New York with her two cats. Follow her on Twitter.
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5 mental traps that successful people never fall for, according to psychologists - CNBC