Are you interested in learning strategies to cope with the emotional issues of divorce? Come to our free workshop in Hingham!

About this Event:

The end of any relationship, particularly by divorce, brings about many changes and emotional reactions. Join us for an important workshop led by Susan Trotter, Ph.D. to discuss the common emotional issues associated with divorce and effective strategies to manage them.

Whether you are just contemplating divorce, already divorced, or are going through the process, this class will help you feel more empowered, make more positive (and less costly) decisions in the process, and achieve greater peace of mind through it all.

This event is intended to be partly informational, partly social, and totally empowering ... in a welcoming and interactive setting. It will include a chance to socialize with other attendees and speak one-on-one with Susan as well as the other professionals.

At this event, there will also be Mediator and Attorney David Kellem, Realtor Lisa Axios, and Mortgage Consultant Kathleen Caddell to answer any legal, real estate or mortgage related questions you may have.

There is NO COST to attend, but space is limited, so RSVP to reserve your spot. Please change your RSVP right away if your plans change so that someone on the waiting list can attend.

Complimentary refreshments will be provided.

About the Speaker:

Susan Trotter is a Life Coach, with a focus on dating and relationships. She has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, and has been a therapist for over 20 years. Susan has a special interest in working with clients who are divorced or in the process of divorce. As a mother who has been through the divorce process herself, Susan has a deep appreciation of the complexities involved in divorce. Her extensive background in psychology, therapy and coaching, combined with her personal experience, gives her a unique perspective in helping people to achieve greater joy, satisfaction and success in their relationships and all areas of their lives.

This event is part of our Hingham Monthly Workshop Series. Every fourth Thursday evening of the month, a speaker will share their knowledge of a specific area of divorce. (Note that there will be no monthly workshop in December).

There is no charge for attendance. Advance registration is required at tinyurl.com/DivorceCopingNov2019.

If you would like to register for this event with us directly, instead of via Eventbrite, please contact Deanna at 508-744-6014 or Team@VestaDivorce.com.

To find out more about this and other informative and social events hosted by Vesta, go to our website at VestaDivorce.com. Or like us at Facebook.com/VestaDivorce.

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Nov 21 | Coping with the Emotional Aspects of Divorce | Hingham, MA - Patch.com

The highly controversial industry of pick-up artists is actually booming right now

Dating coaches are nothing new. Here to help people find their perfect match, theyve been the topic of much discussion (remember Hitch?). Today, with the numerous dating apps available to everyone, the dating coach industry seems like it should be a thing of the past, but instead it is thriving, and with it its sleazier counterpart, the pick-up artist industry, is boomingcurrently estimated at $100 million.

The idea of trying to fix all of your dating problems through the help of a love guru is somewhat reminiscent of holistic health careits an industry entirely unregulated, meaning that just about anyone can become a coach, with no requirements of particular qualifications or education. Of course, that is not to label all coaches as unequipped, but the lack of regulation makes it difficult to distinguish the good ones from the bad, like real bad.

Johnny Cassell is a London-based dating coach and pick-up artist (PUA) charges his clients a minimum of 597 for his Impactful Connection Workshop, or a 7-day intensive workshop starting at 6,000. Cassell has a waiting list for personal mentorship, priced even higher than the rest of his services, where he teaches men how to master the art of attracting the women [they] truly want.

Cassells tactics have been widely criticised as he teaches his male clients how to approach and seduce the women of their dreams by flirting with strangers they meet in a public spacesomething many may see as street harassment. Cassell also teaches his clients the technique of screening, which has been dubbed the art of seducing (or manipulating) a woman into having sex with you.

While Cassell claims that his main aim is to help men work on their confidence and social anxieties linked with approaching women, it is uncertain whether he undergoes any particular training of consent or basic respect with his clientele. In fact, I myself was in contact with Cassell up until I sent my questions forward to him and his publicist, asking for his opinion on the criticism his industry receives for being sexist and exploitative. Needless to say, I did not get a response following that. My guess is that he probably doesnt care too much, but I decided to give Cassell the benefit of the doubt and interpret his silence as a busy schedule.

Negging is something that was initially introduced by pick-up artist Erik von Markovic, which is defined as the act of neither complimenting nor insulting the woman in order to try to lower her self-confidence and get her to become more vulnerable to the mans advances. Unsurprisingly, this is a tactic that many PUAs disguised as dating coaches teach their clients, and it is manipulative, exploitative and misogynistic.

Pick-up artists are the people who do thisnot dating coaches. Dating coaches are teaching people how to get into loving relationships, dating coach and relationship expert James Preece tells Screen Shot. The main drive behind Preeces work is to help people who are frustrated with dating, understand why that is; how to stop from going for the wrong people and how to start approaching love, intimacy and relationships in a healthy manner. As we all know, dating can be really difficultit is a challenging social interaction, and it is great that some people can find comfort and aid through working with a coach. But, just like searching for love, finding the perfect dating coach might be another perilous task.

Hayley Quinn is a London-based, female dating coach whose company guides people of all genders and sexualities, and teaches the importance of self-worth, confidence and the building of healthy relationships. She explains that, Its not just the dating coach industrylife coaching too, it is so heavily dominated by men and there needs to be more female voices.

The problem is that a vast majority of the population has been raised and taught to approach intimacy and relationships through a set of traditional expectations: that love is exclusively monogamous, usually heteronormative and must conform to outdated conventional gender roles (which explains why there are so many male dating coaches dictating the narrative).

Yes, dating coaches and pick-up artists have been around for a long time, but while our society is slowly progressing, as well as our relationships with it, the dating industry only seems to be regressing. New gens promote diversity, inclusivity and open communication, especially when it comes to relationships. So, if the dating coach industry wants to stay around, changes and new approaches must be made, because it will only be able to survive if its tactics undergo necessary adjustments.

The highly controversial industry of pick-up artists is actually booming right now

Originally posted here:
The highly controversial industry of pick-up artists is actually booming right now - Screen Shot

AN international break can be the ideal chance to unwind briefly during an intense Premier League campaign.

Cherries players were given a few days off to reflect and recharge following defeat at Newcastle United last time out, before returning to work ahead of Saturdays crunch clash with Wolves at Vitality Stadium (3pm).

For centre-back Steve Cook, he used the opportunity to return to his roots in East Sussex to watch hometown team Hastings, where he holds a role as academy ambassador, beat Phoenix Sports 3-1 in Isthmian League South East. And the recent break in fixtures has also undoubtedly given Cook the opportunity to tackle another of his passions Football Manager.

The Sports Interactive and SEGA classic released its 2020 edition of the addictive game this week, but FM fan Cook began playing earlier this month having downloaded the pre-release version.

The 28-year-old, who has made steps towards his real-life coaching badges with his UEFA B licence, says he has considered the possibility of becoming a manager in the future.

He told the clubs website: Whether I want to be a coach, manager or scout, I dont know. I just want to have everything there so Im ready if the opportunity arises.

Hopefully Ive got six, seven, eight years left in the game. If Im still here (at Cherries), hopefully they would offer me a job!

But for now, Cook can try his hand in the virtual world. He began his quest for FM 2020 glory by snapping up one of his own Cherries team-mates in a battle to avoid League One relegation.

Quizzed on how his Football Manager 2020 career had begun, Cook told the Daily Echo: Alright. I started as Bolton.

I fancied a change. I brought Jack Simpson in, so hopefully he can do a little bit for me.

I was Villa last time and then ended up Real Madrid manager so, you know.

Asked if he had signed himself on the game, Cook added: No, Im not good enough!

I think Im a hard player to get out of Bournemouth, so I left myself to see what I can do in my Football Manager career.

Cook says a few more players in the Cherries squad are also invested in the game, but he admits he did have to bring a halt to his time spent on Football Manager 2019.

I stopped playing because it kind of took over my life a bit, he said.

Ive come out now and given it a bit of a go and its enjoyable. Its always nice, it takes my mind off this (real) sort of football.

Cook joked: I might have to get back to my family soon. They werent happy when I moved to Bolton!

Keen gamer Cook is not restricted to Football Manager, posting a photo on his Instagram earlier this season of a smashed console controller following a disappointing session of another popular title.

Yeah, Ive shelved FIFA for now, he smiled. Ive had to stop playing FIFA. Ive moved onto Call of Duty, so I can take my aggression out on that!

More:
Steve Cook on the quest for Football Manager 2020 glory, after signing one of his AFC Bournemouth team-mates! - Bournemouth Echo

Ryan M. Soderberg.(Photo: Submitted)

A 33-year-old Wauwatosa director of Young Life, anondenominational Christian group, is accused of pretending to be female on Instagramto lure a young teento take and send him sexually explicit videos and photos.

Ryan M. Soderberg, of Wauwatosa, was charged Nov. 7 in Waukesha County Circuit Courtwith sexual exploitation of a childand soliciting intimate representation from a minor, both felonies. On Nov. 11, a cash bondwas set at$25,000.

Soderberg is also a former JV soccer coach at Wauwatosa West High School and a former substitute teacher in the school district.

A couple spoke with a Waukesha County Sheriff's detective about their 14-year-old foster son who had been sending naked and semi-naked photographs of himself to someone who appeared to be a female in her early 20s, later identified as Soderberg, according to the criminal complaint.

The couple told police they wereespecially concerned over the fact that the person behind the Instagram accountcoercedand directedthe 14-year-old on what type of sexually explicit content to send, how to pose and how to produce and transmit thevideos and images, the complaint said.

All electronic communications the teen received were accessed using one of his foster parent's phones.

The teen had been communicating with someone using the Instagram name "sammyisabaddy," whoseprofile said shewas always bored [and]always looking to chat, the complaint said.The account was deactivated as of April 2.

A detective discovered the username was associated with an account holder in Wauwatosa.

The detective also found a conversation showingSoderberg stating he was 16 and asking for sexually explicit videos and pictures of the teen.

In August, the Waukesha County Sheriffs Detectives executed a search warrant at an apartment in Wauwatosa associated with the IP addresses using that Instagram profile.

Detectives spoke with Soderberg and his roommate. The roommate was cleared of any crimes.

The roommate, who works during the day, told detectives Soderberg workedfor Young Life, a nondenominational Christian group that encourages adults to build friendships with youth. He said Soderberg was one of the leaders of the Wauwatosa chapter and would occasionally bring Young Life kids to the apartment, the complaint said. Soderberg acknowledged having children from Young Life at the apartment.

Soderberg told police he is often home alone at the apartment during the day" and has struggled with a "pornography addiction," the complaint said. He denied viewing any child pornography, although police turned up evidence he had searched for "young boys" on a pornographic website, the complaint said.

Police also found that Soderberg had visited websites with sexually explicit fictional stories involving minor children.

He had also uploaded a picture of a blonde woman for the Instagram account, the complaint said.

A statement fromTerry Swenson, vice president of communications with Young Life, confirmed that Soderberg had been an area director for Young Life in Wauwatosa until August.

"As soon as Young Life leadership became aware of suspicions regarding Mr. Soderbergs personal conduct, he was removed from his Young Life role and from any contact with young people through our organization," Swenson said in his statement."We are deeply troubled to learn of the charges that have been made; Mr. Soderbergs alleged actions are contrary to all we stand for as an organization committed to the safety and well-being of young people.

"As part of that commitment, all our staff and volunteers undergo rigorous background checks before they are permitted to have contact with students. We have and will continue to cooperate with authorities as they investigate this matter, and we are grateful for their diligence and expertise in pursuing this case. We pray for healing for everyone affected by this situation."

The Wauwatosa School District sent an email to parents this week notifying them of the charges against Soderberg.

Soderberg was a JV boys soccer coach at Wauwatosa West High school from 2009-18, according to the school district.He informed the West High School coaching staff late this summer that he would not be coaching for the 2019 season.

He was hired as a substitute teacher in the district in 2008. The last time he filled a sub position was in 2017.

"The charges have no relation to Mr. Soderbergs previous time as a coach for Wauwatosa West High School," the letter stated.

The Waukesha County Sheriff's Office is asking for help identifying additional victims. Soderberg is thought to have victimized additional juveniles, primarily in the Waukesha County and Wauwatosa area, who have not reported the incidents to law enforcement, according to a press release.

Other account names may have been used, but it is not known at this time.

Anyone who has information that may be beneficial for the investigation should call Detective Mark Conrad at 262-691-6038.

Soderberg is scheduled to be in court Dec. 6 for a preliminary hearing.

ContactKaren Pilarski at karen.pilarski@jrn.com. Followheron Twitter at @KarenPilarski.

Read or Share this story: https://www.jsonline.com/story/communities/west/news/wauwatosa/2019/11/12/ex-director-young-life-wauwatosa-charged-sexual-exploitation/2575505001/

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A former director of a Wauwatosa Christian group has been charged with sexual exploitation of a child - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Bowling Is Life. The Rest Is Just Details.

Thats what it says on a T-shirt available online. Pat Kwiatkowski might as well have had it tattooed on his chest. Bowling really was his life.

He played on the first bowling team Canisius High School ever had. He met his future wife on the lanes at SUNY Fredonia and they would have three boys Scott, Michael and Matthew. And Pat would coach all of them on bowling teams at Canisius.

How he got the gig is typical of Pat, who exemplified the Jesuit motto of men and women for others. Scott was about to start his senior season on the bowling team and Michael his sophomore season in 1996 when the coach suddenly stepped down. With their season on the brink, Pat said he would coach for one year.

One year turned into two. Two turned into three. And three turned into 23. Only death has kept him from a 24thseason and from being at Canisius on Saturday when he will be honored posthumously at the high schools gathering for its distinguished alumni hall of honor and its athletics hall of fame.

Mary Jean, Pats wife, says shell never forget the look on Pats face when he got the call to tell him he had won the John F. Barnes Award, a sort of lifetime achievement award for contributions to Canisius athletics.

He was so happy, he cried, she says. He said, We did it. And by we he meant our family as a whole we all did it.

For Pat, who died at 65 in September, it was always about family. He was even coaching up his grandkids ages 10, 7 and 5 when they bowled Saturday mornings on Grand Island.

Full disclosure: Pat was my Canisius classmate. We graduated a lifetime ago, in 1972. He is the second member of our class to receive the Barnes award, named for the high schools legendary football coach. We could have predicted the other one.

John Buszka was a baseball star who led the Crusaders to Georgetown Cup championships in 1971 and 1972. Pat, meanwhile, was a middling bowler on that inaugural team that didnt win a title. (Bishop Turner won the first league championship.)

Pat Kwiatkowski, left, and John Buszka in the 1971 Canisius High School yearbook.

Bowlers are usually thought of as the nerds of school, not your true athletes, Mary Jean says. Thats not right. It takes stamina and skill. They really are great athletes.

Shell get no argument from Buszka, who was also a member of that first Canisius bowling team in 1970-71. Buszka would go on to baseball stardom at the University at Buffalo, where he led the nation in batting average in 1976.

I asked Pat once how he learned to coach, Buszka says. He said you talk to people, you do the research and you support your kids. He was completely dedicated to Canisius.

Pat won more than 700 games a win clip of better than 70% in his coaching career, including 10 championships. He leaves the program in good hands: Michael, who has been coaching JV for his father for 12 years, is the new varsity coach.

Michael teaches fourth-grade math at Herman Badillo Bilingual Academy in Buffalo. His brothers work at Jesuit schools Scott in sports information at Fordham University and Matthew in admissions at Canisius College.

Michaels melancholy first act as varsity coach was gathering his players to tell them his father the man they called Coach K had died. Michael didnt want them to hear it from social media or anywhere else.

The team finished third last regular season, behind St. Joes and St. Francis. Then, in the All-Catholic meet, the Crusaders played out of their minds and won the postseason title by almost 100 pins over St. Joes and more than 200 over St. Francis.

They did it for him, Michael says. Theres no other explanation for it.

Coach Ks bowlers didnt know for sure then that it was his last hurrah, but they understood it well could be as he had struggled with heart issues for years.

Pat spent the last week of his life in the ICU at Kenmore Mercy Hospital. Thats when his sons heard for the first time the full story of how their parents met.

Pat bowled on the mens team at SUNY Fredonia and Mary Jean bowled on the womens team love on the lanes, if not at first sight. Pat was originally dating someone else on the womens team. When they broke up, Mary Jean thought it was admirable Pat was still coming to see his former girlfriend play.

And she said, Are you an idiot or what? Mary Jean says, laughing. Hes coming to watch you.

They began dating soon after. They were married for 42 years. They had three sons at home and hundreds more on all those bowling teams.

He had a heart of gold when it came to those kids, Mary Jean says. They were all his boys.

Make that a heart of blue and gold. Pats great heart gave out on Sept. 10, but his legacy lives on: The Crusaders open defense of their All-Catholic title later this month with Michael at the helm.

At his fathers funeral, at St. Thomas Aquinas in South Buffalo, Michael offered a eulogy with this parting salute: Enjoy bowling with the angels.

The imagery speaks of strikes and spares on celestial lanes. Time to update the T-shirt:

Bowling Is Afterlife. The Rest Is Just Details.

Read more:
Column: Bowling gave 'Coach K' his life. He returned the favor - Buffalo News

Jake Mesar rolls up the leg of his pants to show jurors the scar from an injury he suffered sliding into third base years earlier. (Sketch by Mona Edwards)

Excerpt #1 from March 9, 2016 deposition. John A. Suk is questioned by Rubin M. Sinins, attorney for the plaintiff:

Q. You did signal for him to slide to third base, correct?

A. Correct.

Q. OK. What was the reason for that?

A. The proximity of the ball to the runner approaching third base.

Q. OK. Based upon your telling us that there was a play at third base.

A. Correct.

Q. OK. How close was he to third base when you signaled for him to slide?

A. Approximately six feet.

Q. He was running at full speed, correct?

A. Correct.

Q. Giving no indication that he was going to slide, correct?

A. He was running full speed around the bases. He his eyes were not affixed on the ball. He did not see the ball coming. I did. Therefore, he was running full speed, but upon my decision and telling him at a safe distance to slide, he was able to do so.

Edward M. Coleman, gray-haired and bespectacled, settles into his seat behind the bench in Courtroom 301. He is a retired Superior Court justice who has been called back to ease the heavy caseload, a longtime criminal judge who once presided over one of the biggest cases the state has seen.

That was the manslaughter trial of NBA star Jayson Williams, a two-month legal odyssey that attracted nonstop coverage from Court TV.

This one is a bit different.

When the jurors are seated for the first time, on June 17, there is exactly one person in the gallery: me.

Coleman instructs the jury to keep an open mind during the proceedings, so I resolve to do so as well. That slide, of course, did not end well for the kid, and the story of what happens to him over the days, months and years after he hit the infield clay is awful in every way.

Jake Mesar steps down from the witness stand and, at the instruction of his attorney, rolls up the right pants leg of his tan Dockers. The jurors position themselves for a better look at the two nasty scars on his ankle.

Seven years ago, Mesar was a 15-year-old freshman at Bound Brook High School and the best player on his junior varsity team. He already had made the varsity basketball team that winter, and given his talent and passion for sports, this seemed like the beginning of an athletic career that might go down in school history.

Then came April 4, 2012.

We will hear in excruciating detail what the plaintiffs believe Suk did and did not do on that day when Bound Brook played its first game of the season, at Gill St. Bernards in Gladstone. Before traveling down that rabbit hole, lets review the facts not in dispute.

Did the coach sitting with his head down at the defense table really ruin this kids life?

The visiting team was leading, 6-0, in the top of the second inning when Mesar, batting for the second time, laced a line drive over the left fielders head.

Two runs scored. Mesar rounded second and headed for third. And next, a sickening sound echoed across the diamond as he hit the ground.

POP!

As Mesar wailed in agony, Suk (pronounced SOOK) rushed to his side. So did the players father, Rob Mesar, who was keeping the scorebook in the dugout. An ambulance arrived. No one knew it then, but that promising freshman two innings into his high school career would never play another baseball game.

I felt bad for my parents, Jake Mesar, now 22 and attending Rutgers, testifies on the second day of the trial. They would never be able to see me play.

Baseball was the least of his worries. Even after three surgeries, the ankle was not improving one doctor even presented amputation as a possible outcome. A specialist from the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan, Robert Rozbruch, found post-traumatic arthritis and signs of necrosis evidence the bone was dying.

Mesar needed two more surgeries, including one to inject stem cells into the ankle tissue, and he was fit with an external fixator, a stabilizing frame to keep the bones properly positioned. The injury improved, but Rozbruch told the once-active teenager to avoid high-impact activities. Even jogging.

When it comes time for Rozbruch to testify, he abandons the clinical language of his profession and makes it clear that Mesars baseball dreams died on third base that day.

He will never recover fully, the doctor says.

It is more than a physical injury. Mesar has endured frequent bouts of depression and a pair of panic attacks, including one that sent him from a family party on Christmas Eve to the emergency room. The injury is, as his lawyer tells the jury, something he has to live with every minute, every hour, every day of his life.

All of this, to use a decidedly non-legal word, sucks. How can anyone sit here, listen to his story and not have your heart break?

Still, injuries happen. That is at the cold reality of sports. Did the coach sitting with his head down at the defense table really ruin this kids life?

More:
He told a kid to slide. Then he got sued. - NJ.com

Apparently, there is no problem too complex that an application cannot be created to solve it.

We have finally come to that place where the last bastion for neurotic, depressed, confused, hopelessly miserable human beings, seeking to find relief, nirvana, happiness, the meaning of life, money, marital bliss and emotional stability has been reduced to a phone application.

Along the way, a cadre of techno-psychiatric-analyst-coaching charlatans has created venture-funded startups that effectively take Sigmund Freud and his couch from the warm, safe confines of a small, windowless office and replaced it with a panoply of pop psychology in the Apple Store, suitable for download at the slightest overcast from the dark clouds of life which might temporarily block out the sun.

In other words, welcome to Shrink On The Phone, with a dollop of artificial intelligence sprinkled over it, sort of like psychiatric pasta in a light garlic and oil sauce. Silicon Valley has finally done it on-demand therapy, complete with metrics and return-on-equity analysis. The age of matching therapists with clients, using the tools of online dating has arrived. Swipe left you get a Freudian; swipe right and you get a new age guru.

Kip is a startup that says, We took world-class providers, supercharged them with smart software tools and designed a seamless experience for both clients and providers. The Kip system breaks your therapy into data and quizzes in order to determine exactly how your happiness and anxiety levels are progressing. The app encourages clients to record their moods in real time, with pop-up questions throughout the day designed by your therapist. The founder, Ti Zhao claims that this technique decreases recency bias.

Another Valley startup, Reflect, calls its therapy offering the gym for your soul. Still another, Two Chairs, is a startup that has raised $21 million dollars. Alex Katz, the founder, claims, Were out to build a new mental health system.

But wait, just like late-night television, theres more. Stoic, a mental health tracker app that provides charts and insights. Y Combinator has funded Stoic, as well as another app company, Quirk, which uses behavioral therapy to treat people with anxiety (let me tell you, just writing about this insanity is giving me anxiety and depression). I dont want any adverse psychiatric indication to be left out in the cold, unloved, with no app to meet with me on a snowy night on a park bench. (I know there is no snow in Silicon Valley, but I like the image.)

Y Combinator also funded Mindset Health which was founded by two brothers, Alex and Chris Naoumidis whose previous skills in the area of the human mind resided in their ability to create a peer-to-peer dress-sharing app. When that app failed, we were overcome with anxiety. Sure, that seems rational, you lost a ton of other peoples money and now you are nervous that you will never work again, so you build an app to relieve your anxiety. The Valley is like The Twilight Zone.

But wait, theres still more. If a phone is too impersonal, there are life coaches. Allie Stark is a coach in the region and her mantra is, Theres a beauty in existentialism. Its also very paralyzing. I wonder if Ms. Stark would say that to a double amputee above the knee.

There actually is an Existential Humanistic Institute in San Francisco, and its leader, Dr. Kirk Schneider has been quoted as saying, The goal is to move from a sense of abject terror and paralysis to a gradual sense of intrigue and eventual wonder. Better maybe to just delete the stock market app.

Now a final confession. I have been seeing the same psychoanalyst for 26 years. I wanted to become sane, and he was looking for some entrepreneurial business advice, so now, from time to time, we just switch chairs. I think hes made a lot of progress. And trust me, he wont know about this column he doesnt read the paper. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result. Albert Einstein

Rule No. 635: Get a life, Dr. Ben Sobel, from the movie, Analyze This.

Neil Senturia, a serial entrepreneur who invests in early-stage technology companies, writes weekly about entrepreneurship in San Diego. Please email ideas to Neil at neil@blackbirdv.com.

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Alternatives to therapy? There's an app for that - The San Diego Union-Tribune

Leanne Williamson has garnered a 122-57 career record in five years as USD's head volleyball coach. Peyton Beyers | The Volante

Mothering three young children and managing a team of 17 young adults requires the same elements: work, time and dedication. USD head volleyball coach Leanne Williamson wears both hats, and if a 25-1 record and regular-season title mean anything, shes finding great success.

Williamson found herself on the road almost every weekend for the first month of the 2019 season, away for non-conference volleyball tournaments. Her husband was overseas serving the country during that time.

Now, just over a week away from the Summit League tournament, Williamson has led a 25-1 Coyote volleyball team to its first regular-season Summit League title.

Id love to say it was easy, but it wasnt, its probably the hardest thing Ive ever done, Williamson said.

Williamson became the head coach of the Coyote volleyball team in 2014. Since taking the reigns, she has seen her fair share of success with a 122-57 overall record and a 70-22 record in Summit League play. Williamson won the 2016 Summit League Coach of the Year award and led the Coyotes to their first NCAA Tournament appearance in 2018, but she doesnt take the credit for it all.

This is their team, its not my program, Williamson said. Im a small part of it in the grand scheme of things. Im going to help them, Im going to be their biggest advocates.

Williamson, like most coaches, recruit players they believe can lead, but Williamson coaches to help her players lead themselves.

In the middle of that first season, Williamson was pregnant with her first two children, twins Jaxson and Logan. Williamson presented the team at the time with a question, and they responded the way she hoped.

I was going to go into labor at some point in time, and I just asked them, what are you going to do if Im all of a sudden not there one day?' Williamson said. Theyre like, well, no offense but you dont play the game, and were like, perfect. Thats what we (the coaching staff) wants, and I dont feel like Im bigger than I need to be. I am a small part of their program.

Kinsley, Williamsons youngest at less than a year old, has traveled with the Coyotes throughout the season, making her first appearance in Indianapolis on August 30.

While Williamsons husband, Tyler, was overseas, she carried the parenting workload alone until late October, when he returned from duty.

Leanne said while it is the hardest thing she has ever done, it is also one of the most rewarding things. She would have loved for her husband to be in Vermillion for the majority of the season, she said, but she understood.

I really tried to leave work at work, Williamson said. If I was watching film it was when the kids were sleeping and just things like that. The other thing is, I had a great support system.

Williamsons parents and in-laws, along with friends and coaches, helped her through the first part of this season. The team was there for her, too, just like in 2014.

They recognized Williamsons life outside of the arena and were helpful and understanding when she had to leave right after practice, she said.

I wouldnt say I was perfect in that situation, but I tried not to let stress affect the different parts of my life, Williamson said.

Each coach presents a different style, method or mentality to the sport they coach. For Williamson, it is simple: 1-0.

Shes always said that about just winning the day, winning this practice, winning this drill, senior libero Anne Rasmussen said. I think that does get implemented into our practices. We talked about, how can we be the best we can be that day, and how can we improve that day?

Rasmussen said the mentality helped throughout the season, easing pressure surrounding the win streak or how far they have left to go in the season.

The 1-0 Mentality has taken the Coyotes further and further nearly every season. Williamson acknowledges it can be easy to dissect the big picture or the past, but the focus should be on the 1-0.

I think in sports its very easy to dwell on past accomplishments, past struggles, past losses, past wins, Williamson said. If youre winning a lot, you can feel like youre just going to win because you have won a lot. But if you have a loss, if you have a bad game maybe as an individual, you start dwelling on that.

The mental ability to clean the slate is one of the best parts about Williamson as a coach, Rasmussen said.

Shes remained pretty steady, whether were losing a ton or winning a ton, through my four years here, Rasmussen said. Shes always been that steady presence. Shes always held us to a high standard. And that doesnt change with our win-loss record. She knows what were trying to reach, we know what she expects us to reach, and every day in the gym we show that.

A few years ago, Williamson began referring to goals as expectations. The team is aware of the expectations, and that they are attainable through 1-0 mentality, she said.

Not that were going to hit absolutely everything, but we dont want these to feel lofty, Williamson said. We want these to feel like something that is attainable every single year.

Four seniors have guided this years Coyote team on its historic run. They have won 22 consecutive games won with two regular-season and at least one postseason game yet to play; no team before this year had won more than 20 games in a row.

I do think that it takes a special person to not let the lights and the excitement around those situations get to you, Williamson said. What I really like what this team is we played in really big moments in our home tournament when we played Wyoming we played Iowa and beat both of them on our home floor.

The relationship between the players and coaches is another unique thing about this years squad, Rasmussen said.

I think its really something special between our coaches and us, Rasmussen said. Well be joking on the bus with them. We actually dont mind having to sit next to them at team meals like we actually enjoy getting to talk to them and seeing their views on things. So its actually a really cool relationship that I think a lot of programs dont have.

MORE: USD volleyball claims full share of Summit League title after Senior Day sweep

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On both sides of the net: Williamson on coaching, caretaking - The Volante

"Arkansas is a brutal job."-- an otherwise unidentified "industry expert" quoted Sunday by a writer for espn.com.

_

Here we go again, drunk as skunks on another hogaholic binge.

We drink heavily from the high-dollar bottle of hype. Then those contents age into a bottle of heartache. So, we pour them out. Then we reach for another high-dollar bottle of hype, something to restore the buzz.

This is the Arkansas Razorback way. It is what we do.

We were lured in the 1960s into the happy buzz of college football prominence. We've been unable for nearly six decades now to purge our systems of those old feelings and urges.

We were excelling artificially then, in times of racial segregation and in a little Texas conference that we could typically handle for eight or nine wins and a bowl game we'd probably lose to Alabama or Ole Miss. Every once in a while, we'd beat Texas. Horns would honk all night on Dickson and Markham.

It's not been the same since, though it has been nearly like that for fleeting moments, first with Lou Holtz and then Bobby Petrino. But those temporarily successful coaching eras ended in catastrophe, of course--in Holtz losing favor by getting political and letting down on recruiting, and with Petrino in an off-road motorcycle tumble with a former volleyball player.

It's been that way both in football and basketball, even with a national championship in the latter. The coaching legend who achieved for us that national basketball pinnacle, Nolan Richardson, wound up leaving amid his charges of racism in a federal court lawsuit.

It's not every sports-crazed culture that can mess up a national championship and turn against the icon who brought it home.

At least much of that has been somewhat reconciled.

In football, a coach got fired on the spot for losing one game, to The Citadel. Ken Hatfield, a playing legend from the happy '60s, had great coaching success but left in a huff because he couldn't co-exist with his old coach, Frank Broyles, by then the athletic director. Houston Nutt became a folk hero until he wasn't, caught up in a soap opera produced in Springdale. Bret Bielema had a moment, then gained weight.

Now we have the brief passer-through on the left lane named Chad Morris. He was supposed to be the answer--a master of high-octane offense and certain recruiter of Texas talent--except that his teams got worse the longer he was in charge.

Now he's quickly vanished--a bottle of heartache poured dry--and we're doing a nationwide tour in search of just the right new bottle of hype.

Through it all, truer words were never spoken than those quoted above by the unidentified "industry expert."

Football coach at the University of Arkansas is a "brutal job" because fan expectations are stuck in the Southwest Conference of the '60s while our realities are beset as a permanent weak sister in the modern Southeastern Conference, where we have descended to Vanderbilt's equal partner in doormat-ship.

It's because we are at a talent disadvantage as a relatively small school by SEC standards situated amid remote hills in a place that is lovely and prosperous with a high quality of life but wholly detached from the fertile football recruiting territory of the teams we play.

There are far fewer elite football prospects in the high schools of southern Kansas and Missouri, eastern Oklahoma and all of Arkansas than there are in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and Florida, from New Orleans over to Atlanta and down to Miami, where our conference bullies are located.

As for the talent wealth in Texas, you have the University of Texas, Texas A&M and a dozen other in-state teams competing better than Arkansas for those players, not to mention Oklahoma, which dips down and does well enough to be highly ranked nationally year after year.

Hiring a guy who'd been successful coaching high school in Texas was not the answer, as evidenced by the fact that his recruits in Texas who started de-committing Sunday on news of his firing were three-star recruits.

The recruiting gurus impose a five-star system to rate prospects, and Alabama and Georgia and Ohio State and maybe LSU get the five-stars. Most of the other teams in our conference get the four-stars. Arkansas frets that a three-star might bolt for Rice.

It's a "brutal job" indeed, except for buyouts upon firings, which pay well at Arkansas.

Please understand that I'm merely explaining, not complaining.

I grew up in the '60s adoring Jon Brittenum, Harry Jones, Jim Lindsey, Bobby Crockett, Ronnie Caveness, Loyd Phillips, Bill Montgomery, Chuck Dicus and on and on. One of the three or four highlights of my life was getting invited to a joint reunion of the 1969 team and the Texas team it famously played for the national championship.

I'll even share something I'm ashamed of: When a rumor broke during Petrino's era that he might go to Florida, I sent him an email pleading with him to stay. I confess it. I did it. A grown man, at least by the calendar. I'm not proud. I'm just honest. I'm just pure Arkansas.

And the live-tweeting irreverence I do during Hog football games ... it's a defense mechanism deployed to cope with the frustration to which I've long become accustomed.

It helps keep me sober through the hogaholic binges.

John Brummett, whose column appears regularly in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, is a member of the Arkansas Writers' Hall of Fame. Email him at jbrummett@arkansasonline.com. Read his @johnbrummett Twitter feed.

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BRUMMETT ONLINE: It's the Razorback way - Arkansas Online

Singles Day, the annual holiday championing those that are unattached, has become the worlds biggest online and offline shopping event since it originated in China in the 90s.

The day of recognition is said to have been coined by a group of student in Nanjing University in 1993, as a celebration of being uncoupled effectively, an anti-Valentines Day.

Chinese e-commerce platform Alibaba later capitalised on the day as a shopping occasion.

The holiday has grown in popularity in the UK over the past few years and today reports predictSingles Daywill generate 1.3 billion in UK sales. Numerous retailers slash prices to mark the annual event, including ASOS, Amazon and Sports Direct.

Meanwhile, Singles Day is still going stronger than ever for the southeast Asian market: in its first hour of trading alone today, Singles Day has raked in 11 billion on Alibaba.

READ MORE: Are single parents right to put their children before dating?

While Singles Day has evolved into whats predominantly considered a shopping event, the idea of being happily single is by no means over.

It was recently addressed by Emma Watson, whodescribed herself as self-partnered in a British Vogue interview.

To celebrate the single and proud philosophy behind Singles Day, we spoke to three women on why theyre happy with their solo status.

Katilena, 50, hasn't had a serious relationship for 11 years. [Photo: Supplied]

Katilena Alpe, 50, is a widow with 12-year-old twins. Shes been single for 11 years.

Alpe says she has truly enjoyed being single, a state she associates with freedom and not having to be with a man and look after his every wish.Alpe, a PR executive who lives between Athens and London says she finds it liberating being single.

She has a close circle of friends half single, half married whom shes known since she was at school and are a big part of [her] life.

She has also made a number of friendships through her tennis club and her life-coaching group.

Despite loving her present lifestyle, Alpe never expected to be single. She was happily married for 22 years until her husbands untimely death from a heart attack when she was 39.

The pair met when Alpe was just 18, and enjoyed a whirlwind romance, marrying the same year. They enjoyed their independence as a married couple - something that shes never been able to find with any partners since.

READ MORE:Diane Keaton reveals she hasn't been on a date in 35 years

I dont know if I could be in a long-term relationship right now, she says. Im so comfortable with my life with my kids.

Some five years ago, Alpe dipped her toe in the dating waters but found the notion of being answerable to someone else suffocating.

I kept being asked, Why are you spending so much time with your friends? Why havent you called in five hours? It was suffocating, she explains.

Since then, Alpe feels no rush to get into a long-term relationship.

People say to me, You have to lower your standards, but Im not prepared to do that, and thats my choice. If someone comes along who fits my lifestyle, I might consider it. But for now Im perfectly happy.

Rosie Dutton, 35, has been single for eight years. [Photo: Supplied]

Rosie Dutton, 35, who lives in Tamworth, Birmingham, has been single for the past eight years ever since splitting up with her husband, and father of her daughter, in 2011.

The separation was not her decision and she admits it took her a couple of years to move on.

When I came out of the relationship, I realised Id devoted everything to it and I struggled to transition to being alone, Dutton says.

This was especially true as she had moved from her hometown in the north of England to Birmingham in order to be with her husband, saying: All I knew was him, his family and his friends so I had to start a new life.

However, for the past six years, she says she has not been interested even in the slightest in getting into another relationship.

Ive spent the time getting to know me, she says. I love my own company.

During this time, Dutton has thrown herself into her career, starting her own business teaching mindfulness and relaxation to children in her local area. Shes also launched a blog,Mum in the Moment.

While Dutton has no single friends, she says she feels no qualms about going out with a number of couples.The way I see it, theyre all just my friends, she says.

READ MORE:Marriage makes men happier than women

Still, she faces some pressure from well-meaning acquaintances who pity her single status.

I tell them Im happy at the moment, but theyre all trying to set me up with their friends, she says. They want me to be in a relationship more than I do.

Then theres the questions from family members and even from strangers. Weddings, christenings I go to pretty much any social occasion and people ask, Why are you single?

She says her mindfulness practice, as well as being part of her career, has helped her deal with anything negative feelings associated with being single.

I started going to mindfulness after my divorce and its really helped me to learn to be with myself, she says. If I get lonely or bored I can help myself out of it.

Rebecca Shapiro has been single for four years. [Photo: Supplied]

Rebecca Shapiro, 26, who is from London and lives in Toronto, Canada, has been single for four years. Her last serious relationship was in 2015.

Since then, she says shes had long-distance romances, travel flings, and one night stands, where sex and feelings have been involved. But, nothing shed consider to be a formal romantic relationship.

Shapiro, who works in marketing for the travel industry, says she considers her life happy and full.

My focuses are career, travel, friends and family. Im not half a person. Im not looking for someone to complete me, she explains.

She has travelled to more than 40 countries and believes her single status has allowed her to have the mental energy to focus on her travel and career goals. I likely wont be able to have this focus forever, she adds.

READ MORE: Science explains why people stay in unhappy relationships

Does she face pressure to settle down? Certainly. She says: Im Jewish, so loving family pressure to settle down with a Jewish man is always going to exist.

However, shes managed to convince her elder relatives to come around to her lifestyle. Ive reached the point of stressing my independence where my grandparents get excited to see pics of my recent solo trip to Japan and not to hear information about my dating life, Shapiro says. Same with my parents.

While many of her friends in Toronto are single, Shapiro says most of her closest friends, whom shes known since her school days, are in long-term relationships.

Yet, she feels they are happy to support her lifestyle. My friends are more explicit and liberal in wanting whatever is best for me - traditional lifestyle or not, she explains.

Her attitude towards single although consistently positive has changed over the years. While she once enjoyed the sexual freedom that came with it, she says shes now jaded of so-so casual sex which comes with its limitations.

The worst is when youre tired/ down and want to be looked after but you know the casual sex/ cuddles wont fill the emotional intimacy void, she says.

Yet, for Shapiro, the trade-off for now is more than worth.

As for future romances, she says she wouldnt get into a long-term relationship unless it was someone she thought she might spend [her] life with.

Theres interested men, sure, but Im pretty specific with what Im looking for, she adds.

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Singles Day: Three women explain why theyre happily self-partnered - Yahoo Lifestyle