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Archive for the ‘Self-Help’ Category

European theatre and dance combine in project to tackle the fear of failure – The National

Posted: October 6, 2019 at 7:47 am


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SCOTTISH artists are being given the freedom to fail in a unique new project. The initiative is allowing them to work with others from four different countries on the topic of failure.

Called Push+, it is funded by Creative-Europe, the European Unions programme supporting the cultural, creative and audiovisual sectors.

The project is being led by Imaginate, the national organisation in Scotland for the promotion, development and celebration of theatre and dance for children and young people.

Our society, including the arts sector, is not usually very supportive of failure yet to be successful at anything you need the right to fail, said Imaginates creative development director Fiona Ferguson.

A year of activity around the initiative has begun with a Failure Lab in Belgium where three artists who are based in Scotland, have been working with 12 artists from Belgium, Norway, Ireland and Denmark during a 10-day residency.

READ MORE:The Monster and Mary Shelly tours Scotland to mark 200 years

The Scots include dancer and theatre maker Emma Jayne Park, from Gretna, who told the National she felt the topic was particularly important at the moment.

Society is failing more visibly than I have ever experienced and we are living in a capitalist system where people now seek to profit from our feelings of failure just look at the self-help and mindfulness industry, she said. Very few people are managing to get by with the impact of austerity and current political chaos.

I feel the topic is experiencing a bit of a zeitgeist moment because a lot of people feel like they are failing chronically which is exacerbating the current mental health crisis.

Park said she had always had a strong relationship with failure and had unknowingly been exploring it in her work for years from her failing body in Its Not Over Yet, which documents her remission from Hodgkins Lymphoma, to Experts In Short Trousers which gave five-year-olds the opportunity to show they are experts in their world who should maybe be listened to more.

Now, she said, she wants to use failure explicitly as a subject matter.

As a freelancer, there is a lot of scope to feel like you are failing the whole time, said Park.

The arts are under resourced and, in order to survive, gatekeepers often try to move with trends, find the next big thing, or squeeze budgets which perpetuates the narrative that working in the arts should be competitive. You have to work quickly, self-promote and self-sustain.

Without potential for a regular income, there is ongoing pressure to make ends meet whilst aspiring to a work/life balance. You can also be subjected to a lot of criticism that does not recognise the different constraints being juggled you can pour your heart and soul into something on a very small budget and it will be reviewed to the same standard as a work with a budget of 100,000.

Park added: Unfortunately, I believe the greatest currency in society and the arts at present is the ability to overwork. Those who cant work excessively struggle to move forward unless they are privileged in other ways such as financially or through being part of pre-established networks. If you are from a working class background or have health care needs, it is very difficult to keep up.

I am interested in how we create our own expectations, work to avoid imposing failure on others and recognise that being average is a pretty good place to be because it is the seemingly small things that add up to a quality of a life.

Park said her participation in the Failure Lab would contribute to research for three pieces of performance she hopes to make in 2021.

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European theatre and dance combine in project to tackle the fear of failure - The National

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October 6th, 2019 at 7:47 am

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Everybody Is Tipper Gore Now – National Review

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Joaquin Phoenix attends the premiere of Joker in Los Angeles, Calif., September 28, 2019.(Mario Anzuoni/Reuters)The moralistic busybodies were wrong in the Eighties. Theyre wrong today.

When it comes to bad ideas, theres always room at the bottom.

Conservatives used to exasperatedly observe of gun-grabbing Democrats, Imagine how theyd complain if someone tried to treat the First Amendment the way they treat the Second Amendment!

Hold my cappuccino, says Andrew Marantz of The New Yorker. Writing in the New York Times under the headline Free Speech Is Killing Us and Marantz argues that is literally true he argues that the gun-control program should be taken as a template for a speech-control program. He has come to this conclusion, he writes, after having spent the past few years embedding as a reporter with the trolls and bigots and propagandists. Some reporters are embedded in Afghanistan, and some are embedded on Twitter, which is a great place to be embedded in that you can do it while you are literally embedded, at home, in bed. The thing to understand, I suppose, is that this is a war story.

Marantzs argument is drearily predictable. He writes that he does not want to repeal the First Amendment and then makes a case for gutting it, mired in vagueness (foreswearing the position of the free-speech absolutist but offering no controlling principle) with a great deal of not obviously plausible dot-connecting, and then moves on to what this is really about: an enemies list, in this case beginning with Alex Jones and Milo Yiannopoulos, a couple of attention-hungry entrepreneurial charlatans who always have been and always will be found at the margins of public life. He offers many infinitely plastic pretexts under which speech to which he objects might be suppressed, among them equality, safety, and robust democratic participation. He also proposes government subsidies for the kind of speech of which he approves, having discovered that the Constitution prevents the government from using sticks, but it says nothing about carrots, which surely would be news to the nations religiously affiliated schools, among others.

Marantz is the author of a book about online extremists, because the guy who proposes gutting the Bill of Rights is worried about extremism.

The x might plausibly encourage y argument against free speech has been with us for a very long time. It was the basis for the persecution of heretics in the Christian world, the censorship that John Milton criticized in the 17th century, the suppression of war protesters in the United States (the legal justification of which is the origin of the ubiquitous fire in a crowded theater trope), and the effort to censor and marginalize rap music in the 1980s, a project that brought to public prominence a woman called Tipper Gore, at the time Mrs. Al. Mrs. Gores name became, for a generation, the national shorthand for prudish blue-rinsed tight-assery allied to scheming political opportunism. She was a figure of fun, loathed by all right-thinking people.

But Tipper Goreism, like the poor, syphilis, and usury, we shall always have with us.

Director Todd Phillips has made a kind of superhero movie, Joker, which forgoes the usual tights-and-tights comic-book formula to tell a different kind of story, a psychologically realistic account of the interaction of loneliness, despair, poverty, and cruelty. Surprisingly for what is, at after, a species of Batman film, it was awarded the Leone dOro for best film at the Venice Film Festival,and Joaquin Phoenixs nomination for an Academy Award for his performance already is generally assumed.

But we live in philistine times, and the mob demands that art serve them. For that reason, film, television, literature, music, and much else is subjected to a standard of social utilitarianism, meaning that they are not judged on aesthetic criteria but for their value as propaganda, moral instruction, or therapy. Therapeutic notions are at the moment especially prevalent; that is why press criticism of Game of Thrones, to take one example, dealt with questions of demographic representation to the exclusion of almost everything else.

And so Joker is challenged on its fitness for the present political moment, as Sam Adams puts it in Slate. Is this really the time for a story about a frustrated, alienated white man who turns to violence? he asks. Of course it is, which is why there are at least five productions of Coriolanus under way, and the bestsellers lists are full of worked about frustrated, alienated white men who turn to violence strangely, no one criticizes Margaret Atwood on those grounds. (What, The Handmaids Tale and The Testaments arent about frustrated, violent white guys?) Joker is in fact now criticized on the grounds of empathy, or at least suspicion of empathy. Because our point of empathy in the film is Phoenixs troubled Arthur,Jokerbasically dodges the question of whether were supposed to read his acts of violence as redemptive or abhorrent, three (!) authors write in the Hollywood Reporter. The filmmakers, in this view, leave themselves open to such charges of irresponsibility. The New York Times complains:

Joker is also causing deep unease. Some people, including a few rank-and-file employees on the Warner Bros. lot, worry that the violent, hyper-realistic movie is potentially dangerous that rather than critiquing the societal failings that have given rise to Americas mass-shooter crisis, the film legitimizes such atrocities and could provoke more of them.

In much the same way that the left-wing cultural vanguard that once presented itself as the check on and alternative to corporate power immediately embraced corporate power upon getting its first real taste of it (the Left now is quite satisfied to deputize the HR departments of the Fortune 500 as guardians of political discipline), its members have grown friendlier to suppression of many kinds and more hostile to heterodoxy as their power has grown. Conservative critics of the National Endowment for the Arts once were treated to smug little homilies about how art is supposed to be transgressive, to challenge us, to make us uncomfortable, etc., and now we are treated to smug little sermonettes about the dangerous creation of films that cause deep unease among certain people who work at Warner Bros. or write for Slate or teach at Oberlin. (Arent those exactly the powerful people were supposed to want our art to make uncomfortable?) Reagan-era progressives scoffed when Tipper Gore and her allied church ladies panicked that the rise of rap music would turn Americas streets into a blood-drenched warzone (hip-hop cultures eventual triumphant occupation of the commanding heights of pop in fact coincided with a dramatic decline in violent crime in the United States) or that Ozzy Osbourne songs were turning sweet towheaded kids in the suburbs into dope fiends and satanic little cannibals, or that violent video games were going to leave the real world looking like Grand Theft Auto. (It was enjoyable to remember the video-game panic when watching Ralph Breaks the Internet, in which the GTA ethos is revealed as being so neutered and rehabilitated that it is embodied by Gal Gadot, whose lines might well have been cribbed from self-help manuals.) Power changes everything.

The moralistic busybodies were wrong in the Eighties. Theyre wrong today. They deserved the contempt they received then. They deserve it now. The difference is that free speech and heterodoxy used to have allies in such venues as The New Yorker and the New York Times, where both political and artistic freedom now have so many enemies. But I understand that retro-Eighties nostalgia is hot right now. If were going to bring back big hair and shoulder pads, we may as well resuscitate the public career of Tipper Gore, last seen skulking around Democratic fundraising circles at the junior-varsity level. Perhaps we could bring back Johnny Carson and the constant threat of nuclear annihilation while were at it.

And maybe we can find someone to speak for the cause of art that declines to be subordinated to anybodys political agenda, current social-improvement projects, the tender sensibilities of critics at the New York Times, or the increasingly baroque rules of etiquette that organizes the lives of New Yorker readers as they sway in the wind like a field of ripe corn.

Nuclear annihilation remains the safer bet, but one may still dream.

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Everybody Is Tipper Gore Now - National Review

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Motherland brilliantly skewers the myth of the perfect parent but does it need to pit women against each other? – iNews

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CultureTVThe BBC2 sitcom expertly deconstructs traditional representations of motherhood, only to lazily cast its characters as school-run Mean Girls

Saturday, 5th October 2019, 07:00 am

Child-rearing has long been irresistible to comedy writers who like to use vomit-stained clothing and curdled sex lives as shorthand for the daily grind. But lately we have seen comedy dramas setting aside gentle farce in favour of something grittier, with the focus shifting towards mothers.

The series gleefully washes its hands of the stereotypes peddled by ye olde sitcoms such as 2point4 Children and My Family, in which the mother is the fulcrum of the family, consigned to standing serenely over a cooker.

It takes a similarly dim view of the concept of having it all a fallacy dreamt up by self-help gurus and glossy magazines that serves to make women, and in particular working mothers, feel as if they are failing.

Instead, it follows the seat-of-the-pants existence of Julia (Anna Maxwell Martin) as she juggles two children, a job in PR and events, and a largely absent partner. For Julia, being a parent is less the pinnacle of female achievement than a test of endurance, during which just getting through the day without anyone dying is a victory.

Thus, in the opening episode, we see Julia racing to buy school shoes on the last day of the holidays, only to find the shelves empty save for a pair of baby shoes and some kitten heels. At the school gate, Julia listens in to fellow parents summer holiday adventures, noting that she had to send her kids to seven different sports clubs, which they absolutely hated. But on a positive, theyre now county level at badminton.

'Motherlands masterstroke lies in skewering the myth of the saintly mother'

We also see her scowl at newcomer Meg (Tanya Moodie), who has just moved into the house opposite. With her brace of children, successful career and sunny disposition, Meg appears to have it all worked out. She cant be a high-flyer and have five kids, Julia carps. Ive got two children and a job I phone in and I already have incredibly low self-esteem. Who does she think she is? Nicola Horlick?

It is here, in addressing competitive middle-class parenting, that Motherland falls down slightly. While the series expertly captures the cycle of panic that balancing kids and work can entail, less edifying is the way it pits women against one another. If its not Julia taking potshots at strangers, its Lucy Punchs cartoonishly coiffed mega-mum looking down her nose at her less glamorous acolytes.

While its one thing to draw attention to the divisions at the school gates related to class and differing family set-ups (among the social outcasts is blunt-talking single mum Liz, played by Diane Morgan), its another to lazily cast them as school-run Mean Girls.

More heartening is that Horgan and co clearly feel no compulsion to make their protagonists likeable. While the popular girls versus scruffy outsider tropes are tiresome, all the characters scheme and manipulate to make their lives easier, or themselves look good.

Motherlands masterstroke lies in skewering the myth of the saintly mother and showing us that atrocious behaviour is by no means the preserve of children.

'Motherland' returns to BBC2 on Monday 7 October at 10pm

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Motherland brilliantly skewers the myth of the perfect parent but does it need to pit women against each other? - iNews

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October 6th, 2019 at 7:47 am

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7 Little Ways to Deal With the Emotional Roller Coaster That Is College – Self

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Its officially fall. And as a psychiatrist on a college campus, I find that Im only getting busier this time of year. It makes sense that fall brings up a lot of feelings like stress and anticipation of new beginnings for a lot of peoplewhether or not its their first year of college. Adjusting from summer back to the grind of college life can be hard, to say the least.

College, in general, can be a baffling emotional roller coaster, but these years also hold so much opportunity for exploring, accepting, and loving who you are and where youre headedeven when it doesnt feel like it. To help you through those moments, heres a list of seemingly small things you can do to feel a little better when youre in school. I recommend these tips often in my conversations with patients. I hope they help you just the same.

Heres something I see all the time: Someone comes into my office feeling anxious because they definitely failed the test they just took while everyone else looked like it was so easy. This is an example of what experts call a cognitive distortion, or basically jumping to a (usually negative) conclusion without sufficient evidence. A lot of people think theyre the only ones struggling while everyone else sails through life. This can make it feel like you need to pretend everything is perfect even when its not.

In my ideal world, everyone would admit when things are hard so it would be clear that we all struggle sometimes. But that doesnt help you right now, so Ill instead suggest that you challenge thoughts like I definitely failed that test and everyone else clearly aced it so easily. It may seem obvious, but stopping to really analyze a thought like this can help you believe it less.

First, write down whatever thought is stressing you out, like that you failed an exam while everyone else got an A. Then try to come up with a list of evidence supporting the thought (I skipped a bunch of questions, I didnt study that last chapter) and evidence against that thought (I did study for hours, though, I actually cant know how well anyone else did). Then ask yourself again how likely it is that your original thought holds water.

As an extra step, try being vulnerable enough to run these stressful thoughts past people you trust (friends, family, a significant other, your therapist). This will usually reinforce that your original thought isnt true, or even if it is, remind you that youll be okay.

Have you ever scrolled through your exs Instagram at 1 a.m. and felt...a lot of things that you couldnt quite name? Maybe a confusing mix of anger, sadness, grief, and even a little gratitude that you no longer have to workshop their hilarious punny captions?

Not having the words to name your emotions is more common than you might think. It can be particularly hard to figure this out in college when youre feeling a lot of things you might not have felt before thanks to your new, probably pretty stressful situation. This is why some therapists teach patients how to name their feelings using emotion wheels, which depict core feelings like happy and sad in the middle, then move outward into associated feelings like optimistic or fragile.

Whenever you feel like your emotions are out of control, look up an emotion wheel online (or grab the copy youll print out after youre done reading this, right?). Starting with the core feelings and then the associated feelings or vice versa, try to name your emotions. Honestly, this can feel a bit silly at first. But exploring your emotions this way allows you to acknowledge, better cope with, and maybe even understand the meaning behind how you feel.

You can also make a habit of journaling every time you use your emotion wheel. Not only can this help with processing your emotions and problem solving in the moment, but you may also begin to notice patterns you would have missed otherwise.

Just as your feelings are valid, they are also often temporary. This can be hard to believe when youre feeling the heat of an emotional firestorm because you didnt get into the one class you were most excited to take this semester, so now everything feels like its going to be awfulbut its true. Here are some concrete ways to remind yourself that this too shall pass:

I know, I know: Youve heard this one before. But I promise that things really can look and feel different after you sleep.

As someone who went to med school, I completely understand the temptation to pull all-nighters in college. Sometimes it feels like that's the only possible way to get everything done (and done perfectly, at that). That's especially true if you're the first in your family to go to college, you or your family have taken out a lot of loans to get you through school, you have anxiety, you did poorly on a previous paper or test, or anything else that might make you feel especially pressured to succeed.

Still, I can't tell you how many sleep-deprived patients I've seen who feel significantly better physically and mentally when they start getting healthy amounts of sleep. When you're sleep-deprived, you're more prone to physical and mental illnesses, and it's a lot harder to juggle school, your social life, and everything else on your plate. You might not even notice how much a lack of sleep is impacting you until you start sleeping well again. Given the choice between one more hour of studying and sleep, I would choose sleep every time. Of course, sometimes a medical issue like anxiety can prevent you from getting the sleep you need, so be sure to see a doctor if you think thats the case for you.

This is somewhat related to the sleeping advice above, but its important enough to deserve special attention.

I fully understand that it can feel like taking a study break is a waste of time that will derail your day and leave you scrambling to catch up. With that said, its actually really important to incorporate study breaks into your schedule. It might feel like those extra 15 minutes of reading will make or break your grade, but when youre burned out or have just been doing something for too long, youre not learning or working at your full capacity. Giving your brain a rest will allow you to focus and absorb material even better the next time you get back to it. If you dont think youll remember to stop and take a break, setting PUT DOWN THE FLASH CARDS FOR A SEC reminders on your phone might help.

It might seem as though you need to have your whole life path figured out the second you set foot on campus. Ive seen many people believe this and wind up two years into, say, an engineering major without ever stopping to question if they remotely like engineering.

This can be unhealthy for so many reasons. You can end up doing something unfulfilling because you already invested a lot of time and energy into studying it, or you can feel like doing poorly on one test means your entire life plan is now ruined. On the other hand, you might feel upset and aimless because it seems like everyone else knows exactly what they want to do in life while youre still unsure.

In reality, college is all about change and questioning whats right for you. You dont have to have it all figured out at the start of school (or at the end, either). Be open to experimentation. Take the ceramics class that has piqued your interest even if you were always into math. Check out every booth at the club fair even if youre pretty sure the college newspaper is calling your name.

If you happen to arrive at the same place you started (e.g., you came in pre-med and still want to go to med school), youll likely feel like that decision is even stronger for having tested it. If I didnt question my goal to be a psychiatrist multiple times at basically every stage of my education, I truly believe I wouldnt know that Im doing what I want to doand for the right reasons.

You might worry about burdening others with your problems, but supporting you is in your friends and familys job description. And if it ever feels like you need more help than a loved one can handle, thats okay too. Nothing is wrong with seeking out that extra support.

Most campuses have a student health center that has mental health providers. These centers often have some sort of screening process to figure out what the best resources are for you and, to some degree, assess your level of urgency. They might recommend that you see a therapist for talk therapy, see a psychiatrist like me for a medication evaluation, or give group therapy a try. If youre having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, please skip the counseling center and go straight to the emergency room or call 911.

If the wait list to see someone on campus is long (which can happen due to limited resources, especially during busy times of the year like midterms or finals), you can ask the center if they have recommendations for community mental health resources. Most college counseling centers keep a list of off-campus providers that is often more up to date than what insurance companies have on file (though they can be helpful too). Psychology Today is also a great resource because you can search for mental health experts using filters like your insurance plan if you have one and any main issues you want to discuss, like depression. (Heres more information about finding mental health support in college.)

I know the stigma around talking to someone like me can be very real, especially when the cultural message is that college should be the best years of your life. I promise you that it can be utterly normal to find college overwhelming, difficult, and disorienting. Reach out to us. We want to help. You don't have to be having your worst week ever or be doing poorly in school or avoiding your social life to ask for help. Just like you would want to prevent the flu by getting a flu shot, mental health support can be preventive too. Don't just wait for a crisis to reach out.

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7 Little Ways to Deal With the Emotional Roller Coaster That Is College - Self

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October 6th, 2019 at 7:47 am

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EasyVista Showcasing the Cobalt Release of its Self-Help Product, Designed to Keep Employees Empowered and Customers Connected – Business Wire

Posted: October 3, 2019 at 11:46 am


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NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)--EasyVista Inc., a global leader in IT Service Management, today announced that it will be previewing its latest product release at EV Connect in Austin, TX October 1-2, 2019. Cobalt, the latest release of the EasyVista product portfolio, was developed to provide next-generation updates to their EV Self Help product that includes intelligent Service Bots technology that will enable customers to quickly deploy Virtual Support Agents that learn from the knowledge in Self Help.

Cobalt uses AI-powered knowledge experiences to keep employees engaged and customers connected, supporting the digital-first world of today. Additional features included in Self Help enable rapid integration of knowledge, enhanced user experience for knowledge writers, and connectors to popular applications and integration platforms like Microsoft Flow. Together, these technologies allow organizations to easily capture knowledge and syndicate to users wherever they work through websites, self-service portals, enterprise applications and Virtual Agents.

The Cobalt release puts service transformation at the forefront for our customers, giving them the tools necessary to deliver on the promise of self-service by making help available from anywhere, said EasyVista CMO John Prestridge. Cobalt will allow customers to enhance the self-service experience with AI-augmented digital experiences that guide employees and customers to the answers they need, which in turn will reduce costs and improve overall satisfaction."

Transforming service for the future of work will be the central theme at EasyVistas EV Connect in Austin. Attendees will have the opportunity to receive hands-on training and learn about real-life case studies on how to modernize service delivery with intelligent service automation technologies. Attendees will also learn about EasyVista tools designed for delivering robust process automation and better digital experiences, including micro apps, intelligent knowledge management, virtual support agents, AI and more.

EasyVista is always looking to innovate in the digital-first world and provide new ITSM solutions that integrate transformative technology with human needs, said EasyVista CEO Sylvain Gauthier. EV Connect will provide attendees intel on how ITSM can transform critical service functions for customers and employees, with a focus on delivering business value.

For more information, please visit easyvista.com.

About EasyVista

EasyVista is a global software provider of intelligent service automation solutions for enterprise service management and self-help. Leveraging the power of ITSM, Self-Help, AI, and Micro Apps to create customer-focused service experiences, EasyVista has helped companies improve employee productivity, reduce operating costs, and increase customer satisfaction. Today, EasyVista helps over 1,500+ enterprises around the world to accelerate change, empowering leaders to better serve their employees and customers across financial services, healthcare, education, manufacturing and other industries.

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EasyVista Showcasing the Cobalt Release of its Self-Help Product, Designed to Keep Employees Empowered and Customers Connected - Business Wire

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:46 am

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The Echoes Of Trauma – Above the Law

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It sometimes seems like my entire life is processing either the direct or secondary trauma of my past. Traumatic echoes of events that, for the most part, are years and decades past, seem to invade every sense, as well as my dreams.

The very direct trauma of bullies ripping off my pants down to my Fruit of the Loom underwear, tearing the pants into shreds, and throwing them out in a busy street. The mile walk of shame to my home. So traumatic, that I can show you exactly where it happened in my hometown of Mt. Lebanon, Pa.

The red robin I allowed other kids to pressure me into shooting with a BB gun at 16 years old. A senseless act of cruelty that still haunts my dreams. Did it feel pain? Will it be missed? The trauma of watching it suffer and failing to come to grips with how my teenage self could be so uncaring and vicious.

The image of the dead animal in the roadway will bother me for days as I project and internalize its trauma.

The family of the young lady I represented so many years ago. A tractor-trailer rear-ended their daughter and she died, trapped in the vehicle as it burned. Her suffering. Her familys plight.

There was a time when I allowed many of these traumatic echoes to play a role in a litany of unhealthy and self-destructive behaviors. How much impact did they have? I cant say. Correlation is not cause. What I can attest is my subconscious having decided to preserve these moments as endless ripples of water pushes further and further out from the source but never settling into a peaceful state within the framework of my reconstructive memory.

I utilize various methods of self-care to deal with these feelings. It has not always been the case. The projection of pain, suffering, guilt, and shame consumed me. I wore it all like a skintight suit affixed to my body with super glue.

While there are some commonalities and stereotypes as to what is trauma, it can take many forms and be uniquely subjective in how its processed. Life-changing trauma to one person may be easily shrugged off without emotional or biological consequence to someone else. In my anecdotal experience, this disparity can result in feelings of guilt and shame. We compare the experience and flog ourselves for not taking the lessor of the emotional routes.

There is no shortage of direct and secondary trauma in the helping professions, including legal. When it occurs within a professional framework that does not encourage vulnerability and portrays therapeutic self-help as weakness, the issues can boil over, and they have. Our profession has the highest rate of problem drinking along with some of the highest rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide.

Rocky Haire is a Dallas-based personal injury lawyer. He is no stranger to the secondary trauma of his clients. He says:

Personal Injury law is a steady flow of injuries and death, each case bringing its unique markers of potential secondary trauma.

I remember seeing a three-year-old little girl under a truck hit and killed while her aunt was holding her hand as they walked along the road. Her yellow dress was somehow still clean. I remember her shattered mom and dad looking to me for something anything.

I remember a kid who was electrocuted and caught on fire in the CareFlite. His mom hated me because I was the only one she could saddle it with. I accepted it without hesitation or regret.

A kid who was hit head-on by a drunk driver going over 100mph and his dad was the first responder. He was so brave in my office even as he cracked and fell apart.

A beautiful, lifeless high school girl wearing a cardigan sweater, her brown hair just right and her face crushed. I have hundreds more.

How do you start a conversation with broken parents? The survivors? The dads tend to compartmentalize and check out the moms take a direct hit nuclear strike while taking care of yourself at the same time.

I remain detached, for the most part. Im the lawyer, right? Im not supposed to be emotional.

The way I most effectively process secondary trauma and help the survivors deal is to help them heal when they have experienced their own trauma through loss of a loved one or other tragedy that is the focus of a personal injury claim.

I tell them, You have to forgive. The person didnt do it intentionally and this unforgiveness is killing you. Look at you. Its rotting your bones, and its time to let it go. You have to. Im asking you to. They usually look at me (a little surprised) with a sad rage but it subsides. They all say, You have no idea, and theyre right but also, they know Im right. I have felt the crushing weight of hate and resentment begin to lift off.

Helping them be free from that horrific ball and chain, I believe, is how I deal with secondary trauma. If I can get them to forgive, it somehow releases me, too. Theres a part of me that continues to see those pictures I still see their broken, decapitated, crushed, burned bodies sometimes but I know a body is just a vehicle to get us around while were here. Nothing more and death isnt final.

Without that hope, I couldnt do what I do. Knowing the emotional damage is healing allows me to move on with them.

In the interest of full disclosure, my focus wasnt always as healthy as it is today. For years, I drank a lot. I wasnt mean or abusive; I think I just needed something to suppress it. My self-medication didnt work and evolved into what it is now.

Of course, how Rocky deals with secondary trauma is quite possibly not how you do it in your law practice. There is, however, a universal lynchpin across the board the importance of continuing self-care. We are taking care of ourselves so that we dont start exhibiting unhealthy signs and engage in destructive coping mechanisms and continue to provide clients with the highest level of assistance.

I reached out to, Mauve ONeil, a local Dallas therapist. She says:

Having helpers in all careers like attorneys, healthcare, education, as well as first responders being better equipped to manage stressful situations, regulate emotions, and taking better care of ourselves will also result in better client outcomes for those we serve. We can choose to take time and effort now or we will be forced to do it later

Here are some ideas to get started with:

RECOGNIZE IT CAN AND WILL HAPPEN!

MAKE AN ACTION PLAN NOW!

PRACTICE YOUR PLAN!

REACH OUT FOR AND TO HELP OTHERS!

From my anecdotal perspective in listening to the stories of other lawyers, the trauma problem is two-fold. We not only have to deal with and process our trauma, our story, but we also have to process and deal with the trauma and stories of those we help. A double duty that even the most skilled of therapists and helpers struggle with. Figuring out a self-care plan is vital and will be unique to the person. There is no shame in asking for professional help in putting that plan together. Start today.

Thanks to the following people for their invaluable contributions:

Brian Cuban(@bcuban)isThe Addicted Lawyer. Brian is the author of the Amazon best-selling book, The Addicted Lawyer: Tales Of The Bar, Booze, Blow & Redemption (affiliate link). A graduate of the University of Pittsburgh School of Law, he somehow made it through as an alcoholic then added cocaine to his rsum as a practicing attorney. He went into recovery April 8, 2007. He left the practice of law and now writes and speaks on recovery topics, not only for the legal profession, but on recovery in general. He can be reached atbrian@addictedlawyer.com.

See the rest here:
The Echoes Of Trauma - Above the Law

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:46 am

Posted in Self-Help

Professor Ian Welsh: Stories of self-help and dedication spotlight what it is to be a human – The Scotsman

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At the Health and Social Care Alliance Scotland, we champion the voice of lived experience. Earlier this year, we launched our Humans of Scotland project a storytelling initiative that puts a spotlight on the experiences of people living with long term conditions, disabled people and as unpaid carers.

The purpose was to amplify voices that are too seldom heard, raise awareness of the topics and issues tackled, and to drive improvement in health and social care. But the project has become much more than that. Its become a powerful movement in its own right, creating a community of support around the stories shared.

Stories are part of the fabric of human life. They are how we build relationships with one another, a basic component of our communication style that solidifies our understanding of others. Humans of Scotland reaches out to people with messages beyond the experience and understanding of many. By telling the story, however, that gap is bridged, and readers empathise and connect with the storyteller.

When we started Humans of Scotland, we did not envisage people being so generous with their time and with the details of their lives. People have been open and giving, and gathering the stories has been enlightening, confirming what we already knew that we are all natural storytellers.

The Humans of Scotland book, launched last month shares a number of these stories its available on our website and is being distributed to all public libraries in Scotland.

One of the themes in many stories is the concept of self management, of people in the driving seat of recovery and dealing with ongoing conditions. Self management empowers and is proven to yield positive outcomes when it is built around the right support and input.

As a champion of self management and administrator of the Self Management Fund for Scotland on behalf of the Scottish Government, we hear stories from the projects we fund that are full of hope. For the last decade we have led on this fund, covering 12 rounds and nearly 20 million of grants. What is important to us is the number of people now successfully self managing, in employment or with volunteering opportunities.

In the past ten years the fund has reached more than 200,000 people, created 285 jobs and 1,752 volunteering posts. The opportunities it has offered have been life changing.

The ALLIANCE funds Waverley Care to development a self management and peer mentoring programme of young people aged 19-30 living with HIV and providing one-to-one and group support.

Wendy, who volunteered and now works for Waverley Care, said: I wanted to build structure and routine into my own life at the time, and I thought I knew a lot about blood borne viruses, but I quickly found I didnt so volunteering triggered an interest to keep learning.

Its all about the people we work with and getting the opportunity to help a really stigmatised group.

One of the success of self management is hearing from the people who benefit from different approaches. Michelle, who self manages bipolar disorder, accessed a course funded by the ALLIANCE. She said: I took part in Bipolar Scotlands self management training course and found it extremely helpful.

The course materials were excellent and I enjoyed taking part in the discussions which helped me to make connections. I felt more able to take control of my life and learned how to make informed decisions.

Wendy and Michelles stories have both been featured in the Humans of Scotland series. Both are testament to the resilience we see displayed in many of the stories and show that the self management journey is one we can all learn from and appreciate. As we continue to tell peoples stories as part of the series, we ourselves are learning more about the real and personal impact of our Self Management Fund. It is privilege to administer the fund but even more of a joy to learn of its positive outcomes.

During Self Management Week (7-11 October) the ALLIANCE will announce the new round of funded projects and administer awards for this years applicants. We can only look forward to continued success for the organisations we support and those whom they engage in support and services.

Prof Ian Welsh OBE, chief executive, the Health and Social Care Alliance Scotland (the ALLIANCE).

See the article here:
Professor Ian Welsh: Stories of self-help and dedication spotlight what it is to be a human - The Scotsman

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:46 am

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Of All The Happiness Studies In The World, This One May Affect You The Most – Inc.

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Absurdly Drivenlooks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.

We strive to be successful, attractive to others and, most of all, to be happy.

Meanwhile, scientists -- and charlatans -- all over the world try and help us in these quests.

I have a friend who's been to more self-help seminars than dates -- and he's been on a lot of dates. He's still not happy.

I worry, therefore, every time I see a study that suggests the truly reliable indicators of happiness.

The most famous Harvard study -- a 75-year affair -- suggested that the true secret of happiness is good relationships.

Yes, but that's not very helpful, is it? Finding and maintaining good relationships is really hard work.

Is there anything, then, that might offer a simpler path to a brighter day?

Well, my eyes have just fallen upon a study of 2,000 Americans.

It sought to determine if there was a link between happiness and water.

No, not living by the water. Drinking it.

And so a breathless New York Post offered: "Drinking enough water could be the key to feeling 'very happy'."

You see, this survey didn't just limit itself to happiness. No, it wanted pointers to being very happy.

We Americans adore extremes, as the rest of the world knows.

And so it appears that 67 percent of those who said they drank "more than enough" water declared themselves to be very happy.

This compared to a mere 21 percent of souls who said they didn't drink enough water but were still somehow very happy.

I fear both statisticians and philosophers will race to drive a large-wheeled Ford F-150 through these supposed results.

Just because someone drinks more than 10 glasses of water a day and claims to be very happy -- a fulsome 80 percent of these respondents --doesn't mean that the 10 glasses of water are what made them very happy.

Oh, but in the survey the more glasses of water people said they drank per day, the happier they claimed to be.

Surely 8 out of 10 psychologistswould love that correlation.

I feel the need to interject here, before you start throwing solid items at your screen.

It's worth considering who performed this research and why. Well, it was the work of OnePoll on behalf of O.Vine Wine Essence Water.

Which sounds like a product that may enjoy some emotional contradictions.

Naturally, I cannot take such a facile route to extreme happiness without mounds from several salt mines.

I will, though, offer a marginally mischievous extrapolation from this research.

75 percent of these fine Americans believe that drinking the right amount of water is a sign of maturity.

Everyone knows maturity makes you very happy.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

Go here to read the rest:
Of All The Happiness Studies In The World, This One May Affect You The Most - Inc.

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:45 am

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NOCD’s $4M Series A will help the behavior help platform expand its provider network – MobiHealthNews

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Digital obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) identification and management platform NOCD has received $4 million in Series A funding. The round was headed by Chicago Ventures, with Glen Tullmans 7Wire Ventures, Meridian Street Capital and Hyde Park Angels also participating.

WHAT THEY DO

NOCDs app acts as a resource for individuals who have, or suspect they have, the condition. It features a range of self-help tools such as evidence-based exposure and response (ERP) exercises, user forums for sharing and discussing symptoms and immediate guidance on tolerating discomfort for unexpected compulsion episodes and other OCD education. Additionally, users chat chat with OCD-trained mental health professionals within the app itself, or find specialists in their area.

Although the app is available to consumers, the startup is also looking to partner with payers, providers and higher education organizations to better identify those with the condition and connect them to the appropriate specialists in their area.

The startup was founded in 2014, and raised $1 million in seed funding from 7Wire Ventures back in early 2018.

WHAT ITS FOR

The startup said it will be using these new funds to expand its NOCD Provider Network across the US.

MARKET SNAPSHOT

NOCD appears to be the leading digital health startup thats made OCD is primary focus, and roughly a year ago cut a deal with Actify Neurotherapies to educate its users on ketamine treatment for depression, which is often a comorbidity of OCD.

Still, others such as Ieso Digital Health have included treatments for OCD alongside their digital behavioral health offerings, while researchers at the Department of Veterans Affairs have discussed using video telemedicine apps as a vehicle for ERP therapy.

ON THE RECORD

"Those suffering from OCD face a healthcare system that wasn't built to serve them,"Peter Christman, principal of Chicago Ventures and a NOCD board member, said in a statement."Stigma, misinformation and neglect are the norm. NOCD is replacing this broken system of engagement with an end-to-end clinical services platform that puts patients first. The outcome is a dramatic shift in the way we identify and manage OCD.

Read more here:
NOCD's $4M Series A will help the behavior help platform expand its provider network - MobiHealthNews

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:45 am

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We Tried Some CBD Treatments at DC-Area Spas. Here’s What We Thought. – Washingtonian

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iStock.

We currently live in an era of Big Wellness, a time when people think nothing about dropping $10 on varietals of non-bovine milk (or mylk, if were being wyld) or using vaginal steaming, sound bath, and jade rolling in the same sentence. Compare the wellness movement to pop culture, and CBD oil would be as big as, say,Lizzo or Beyonce, or maybe even the two of them combined into one megaforce of supernova stardom.

Anyways, you get what Im sayingyou can find CBD in coffee, CBD in tea, CBD in gummy bears,CBD in cocktails, CBD in cereal, and even CBD in pet water (which, as the 2019 gods would have it, is an actual thing separate from human water).

Simply put, CBD is like, one degree below pumpkin spice on the OMFG-this-thing-is-everywhere scale (which, fingers crossed, means we may get a CBD Yankee Candle or CBD Starbucks latte sometime soon).

So obviously, as is the course of things trickling down the great commercial river, I started getting press releases about CBD beauty treatments. And, obviously, as someone who is a professional whitewater rafter of said commercial river, I was immediately intrigued.

Personally, I have the anxiety level of, say, a very nervous shih tzu let loose in the middle of the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade, so Ive started incorporating CBD into my daily routine by way of drops and gummies. (Ive forever sworn off THC after a particularly potent strain led me to lock myself in a Myrtle Beach bathroom, where for an hour I alternated between contemplating my own imminent death and peeling the skin off chicken nuggets. It was college, what can I say?)

But how would I feel about the overlapping circles of CBD and beauty treatments? On one hand it makes sense: combine two spheres of self-care into one all-encompassing nirvana of personal improvement. But on the other hand, would such treatments translate as a wayward Venn diagram simply preying upon consumer fascination with wellness? That is to say, not do shit, except leave you smelling like a giant hempseed?

There was only one way to find outId try them all myself, naturally. The trenches are a dangerous place from which to report, but I am basically theChristiane Amanpour of beauty writing. No need to thank me for my service, readers.

I was initially skeptical about a CBD manicure and pedicureout of all the treatments I researched, it seemed to me this would be the most far-fetched when it came to actually reaping the benefits of cannabidiol. But I shouldnt have doubted the bougie powers that be. After all, if you can milk an oat, you can give your digits a nice buzz, right?

After walking through the Mynd Spa entryway (which, as it was previously part of the Elizabeth Arden Red Door salon chain, has, yes, a quintessential red door), I settle into my chair in the spas pedicure area to await my technician.

Its pretty par for the course: the pedicure sink is a little bathtub with a collection of rocks in it, not unlike a fish tank or one of those plug-in-the-outlet waterfalls they have in your therapists office; over the speakers, some mystical, Dances With Wolvesjazz flute music wafts; along the walls hang abstract metal art pieces of indistinguishable meaning. (A commentary on the myopic meaninglessness of 21st century beauty ideals? An ode to toes? On sale at Pier 1? Whos to say.)

When the technician begins the pedicure, she informs me that the CBD portion of the treatment will come from a special cannabidiol-infused lotion. She then leans down to take off my polish and whispers a quiet, quickoh my god,as if there, poking out from my pant legs, were two flippers instead of feet. Yes, to be fair, my calluses werent great after a summer of running (and a journalist budget that doesnt allow for such indulgences as self-care), but I mean, come on, they werentthatbad.

She is eventually able to overcome her shock, slaps on some loofah gloves, and were off! For the most part, the pedicure is the same as all other pedicuressome scrubbing, some clipping, some stone pumice-ing. But then she pulls out the CBD lotion. (Each bottle bears a technicians name, as if to prevent theft and resale for a surcharge on a Goop knockoff site.)

She pulls on plastic gloves, puts some of the lotion on her hands, and begins to rub it in. Andit feels like lotion? Im not sure what I expected, reallyperhaps my pores opening into individual holes in the space-time continuum, through which Im beamed into a world where things like space and time dont even exist and your feet arent even feet, man. I dont know.

But as she continues the massage, I begin to wonderare my feet high? I cant tell. I mean, I feel pretty relaxed, the Dances With Wolvessoundtrack has seemingly evolved into some sort of New Age synth music thatd be fitting at an elvish wedding,and honestly, everythings pretty groovy right now.

Post-massage, she puts tiny plastic dividers between my toes and in my blissed-out state, I wiggle them and giggle. It kind of looks like my toes are holding tiny joints! How funny.

By the time she makes it to the hand massage during my manicure, the elf music and CBD oil has done its job. Its all overIm officially, totally, completely relaxed. But am I relaxed simply because Im sitting in a chair sans cellphone and a woman is clipping my cuticles? Or am I relaxed on another level, one thats attributable only to CBD? TBD on the CBD.

Ranking: Three out of five CBD gummies

$38 for an essential manicure with CBD; $75 for an essential pedicure with CBD

Mynd Spa & Salon; 5225 Wisconsin Ave. NW

The CBD oil at Vida isnt laced with anything, the masseuse tells me as she hands me a glass of mint water. No menthol, no essential oils, nothing. Just pure, 100 percent hemp, baby.

They use this sans-fillers CBD lotion because its the easiest way for a client to realize the helpfulness of CBD, she says, which she recommends for all kinds of ills. Headaches, sore limbs, torn musclesyou name it, you can CBD it.

In fact, the spa is so behind the CBD movement that later this year they plan to launch a CBD ritual. The treatment will incorporate cannabidiol in each step, starting with guests sipping CBD-laced chamomile tea before getting a CBD massage and a CBD facial.

But, for now, the only thing on their CBD menu is the massage, which, let me tell you, may list as one of the best experiences of my life (and Im saying this as someone who once sat next to Jude Law at a play, okay?).

To be frank, this entry will be short because I dont remember much about it. I blacked out immediately as soon as the masseuse closed the door to the treatment room. Im not sure if I fell asleep or entered another dimension, but all I can say is that I woke up, it was over, and I really, really wished it wasnt.

Now to be fair, any kind of massage is enough to send me into a vegetative-like state of zen (its my dream to one day make the kind of money that would pay for someone to walk around behind me and rub my shoulders at all times).But, at the risk of sounding like an infomercial, this treatment really works. The back pain and shoulder spasms I get from living in a cubicle felt so much better, and the undercurrent of anxiety constantly pulsing through my veins (again, shih tzu), wasalmostgone.

In my everyday life, I use CBD oil on my shoulders and back when theyre bothering me, but this will forever pale in comparison to having someone else (and a professional someone else, for that matter) do it for me.

I felt, like, peaceful afterwards, which is a feeling I sadly do not frequently experience. In fact, I was so chilled out and dreamy that I had to stop and get a humongous cold brew on my way to work, just so everyone wouldnt think I was blazed out of my mind (which, in some ways, I kind of was, minus the whole locked door-chicken nuggets thing).

Ranking: Five out of five CBD gummies

$45 to add to any massage

Aura Spa at Vida Fitness; locations vary

Like the CBD manicure, I was a bit confused as to how one could integrate CBD into a facial. Would there be some sort of CBD-infused steam component, like a mist-er at an amusement park, only with hemp? Or would the CBD be applied directly to my skin, and could that even be good for your face? Would my faceevenlikeCBD?

I flip-flop into the treatment room with my flute of champagne, my robe fluffy and light, my skin equal parts excited and scared. The aesthetician begins by cleaning, steaming, and exfoliating my face, examining my epidermis with the kind of huge light I imagine the government shines over the captured alien bodies at Area 51.

An aside: even if you dont like facials, you should definitely go to this salon because, honestly, its the biggest pep talk of my life. The aesthetician keeps telling me what great skin I have (reader, my skin isnt that great), and whispering So beautiful, so beautiful to herself as she putters around the room. She is so emphatic and effusive it would be weird if she wasnt so sincere, and she basically brainwashes me into thinking Im Gwyneth Paltrow.Shes not unlike one of the self-help leaders Id imagine working on Oprahs soulful cruise ship excursions, or perhaps a life coach with an uncanny interest in my pores.

This makes it all the more jarring when she reveals to me that I have broken capillaries under my eyes. I thought I was perfect?! I feel like Ive let her down by exposing this harrowing detail of my body, this uncomfortable reminder of my humanity. But fear not, she assures meI am still so beautiful, so beautiful.Plus,CBD helps with discoloration and blemishes, she says, and can be used to treat things like rosacea, broken capillaries, and, yes, just generally possessing a human body.

She then applies two CBD masks (one moisturizing, one not), followed byCBD serum and eye cream, which she massages into my face and chest to make sure the oil gets down into my pores.

I am deeply relaxed (which isnt really a surprise, as Im lying in a dark room, a glass of champagne deep, while a woman rubs oil derived from a cousin of marijuana into my pores). But, perhaps even better, I really think it works. I take a look in the mirror afterwards, examining my skin closely for any changes, and I have to sayI look like a freaking cherub, lounging youthfully and rosily on a tiny hempseed plant, as light and fluffy as an otherworldly cloud.

She was right, after all. I am perfect.

Ranking: Four out of five CBD gummies

$205 for CBD facial

The Ritz-Carlton Tysons Corner; 1700 Tysons Boulevard, McLean

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Associate Editor

Mimi Montgomery joined Washingtonian in 2018. She previously was the editorial assistant at Walter Magazine in Raleigh, North Carolina, and her work has appeared in Washington City Paper, DCist, and PoPVille. Originally from North Carolina, she now lives in Adams Morgan.

Read more from the original source:
We Tried Some CBD Treatments at DC-Area Spas. Here's What We Thought. - Washingtonian

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October 3rd, 2019 at 11:45 am

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